#Some of y'all kpoppies should know where this is from lmao

[fumiko-matsubara]

TARGET ON: Class E’s English Debate

“This is speaking in Japanese.”

“This is speaking in English.”

“This is speaking in Japanese but with an English accent.”

--//--//--//--//--

Sugino stood between two separate rows of desks, lightly smacking the pointer stick he has been holding onto his open palm. 

“So now, everyone. We’re going to have a debate.” He announced.

Okajima, who’s sitting on one of the desks, looked up at that. “A debate?”

Sugino nodded in confirmation. “Iced Americano even if it’s freezing VS Warm shower even if it’s very hot!” He revealed.

Everyone who was occupying the row of desks let out various vocal reactions.

“And the important thing is…” Sugino added, looking at the participants. “Please listen carefully…” he advised.

Everyone leaned closer in either anticipation or curiosity.

“You must speak in English!” He revealed.

Nakamura let out a loud amused laugh. “OH WOW!”

Maehara, on the other hand, scratched his head awkwardly. “Yes… I can…”

Takebayashi, who was the least responsive among the participants the whole time, suddenly perked up when he realized something. “Wait a minute, the other team has both of them!” He informed, pointing at Miki and Nakamura who shared matching shit-eating grins.

Both girls high-fived each other before exchanging high-fives with the other two boys in their team.

--//--//--//--//--

[Miki – a native English speaker]

[Nakamura – is fluent in English]

[Nagisa – English is his best subject]

[Kimura – Justice]

--//--//--//--//--

Sugino suppressed a smile when realized the lineup. “This team has many good English speakers.”

“They have three…” Maehara realized dejectedly.

Next to him, Chiba scratched his head in frustration. “It’s really unfair,” he complained.

Miki whipped her head to his direction at that, the grin still present on her face though. “Hey! Don’t sell yourself short, Ryuu. You’re actually pretty good in English, you know?”

“Oh yeah, sure! Leave it to me and my good pronunciation to win this debate even though I can’t form sentences. Don’t worry, alright!” He shot back sarcastically.

Maehara patted him on the shoulder reassuringly. “Don’t worry, Chiba. At least we still have Takebayashi!” He gestured towards the said boy next to him.

“I’m still not sure what kind of skit this is…” Takebayashi said, pushing up his glasses.

Sugino then decided to get them back on track. “But no matter what you do, it’s still gonna be my choice. I actually haven’t decided what to choose between the two, so you’re going to have to convince me,” he admitted. “Do you understand?”

He quickly looked at all the participants once again, making sure they understood the rules. “Alright then, let’s get fired up!”

“Iced Coffee Team,” he pointed the stick towards the team to his right. “One.. two.. three…”

“ORAAAA!!”

“Warm Shower Team,” Sugino turned towards the team to his left, pointing the stick at them this time. “One… two… three…”

“ORAAAA!!!”

“Wow!” Sugino excitedly marveled at their energies. “It’s crazy, it’s hot in here!”

At that, Okajima let out another yell. “ORAAA!!”

“ORAAAA!!” Maehara followed suit.

Chiba suddenly jerked backwards, letting out a loud cackle at his teammates’ antics.

Sugino, though, shook his head exasperatedly. “OKAY!!” He loudly announced, raising his pointer stick. “Let’s begin this debate!”

--//--//--//--//--

Miki cleared her throat, raising a hand. “Okay, um… First of all, we’d like to say something! Uh… Thank you for inviting us to this beautiful debate here.”

As she spoke, Nakamura bite down a laugh at the sight of Maehara and Okajima seemingly spacing out. Chiba, on the other hand, looked at Miki in suspicion as if she was about to commit something horrible.

“Us, uhh Warm Shower Team,” She gestured towards herself and her fellow members. “We came to discuss a very serious…”

Sugino raised his pointer stick. “Wait!” Miki blinked in confusion, taken aback when he suddenly stopped her.

“How to speak ‘Warm Shower’ in English?” Sugino questioned.

Miki perked up at that. “Oh! ‘Warm Shower’ is… I want to take a steaming warm shower in hot weather even if I die!” She jokingly said in an exaggerated English accent, which caused Chiba to let out another cackle.

“Oh my god~” Sugino marveled, giving Miki a handshake. “Wonderful!”

“Fighting fire with fire, you know?” Miki added.

Meanwhile, Maehara peered at Sugino, a plan in mind. Then he quickly raised his hand. “Oh!”

Sugino then turned towards him. “Hm?”

“Cold food in cold weather.” Maehara started. “Hot food in hot weather, no no.” He made a cross with his arms. “Cold food in cold weather, yes yes!” He then gave him an ‘okay’ sign, his grin rather tight.

Sugino contemplated his words for a bit. “I like ‘Raimen’ (cold noodles).” He randomly revealed.

Maehara’s eyes widen at that, somehow happy. “Oh Raimen? You like Raimen? We like Raimen?”

Sugino and Miki exchanged confused looks, not quite getting what Maehara was trying to tell them.

“So we like eating cool things in cold weather.” Maehara then concluded.

Suddenly, Nagisa raised his hand. “Think about that we’re outside training.”

“Training?” Maehara glared at him accusingly for some reason. “Training is Japanese!!” He yelled.

“Uhh… Training!” Nagisa then nervously corrected himself, taken aback by Maehara’s sudden hostility.

Chiba then suddenly stood up. “If it’s like that, then this is English too!” He exclaimed.

With that, everyone started arguing.

“This is English!” Okajima also joined, pointing an accusing finger at the other team. “Oi listen to me! Listen carefully you ugly!”

Chiba and Maehara laughed at that.

“What I’m saying is English!” Okajima continued. “What is the difference?!”

Miki decided to have everyone to calm down. “Okay, okay, okay”

Chiba briefly turned away from them, trying to sober up.

“Our pronunciation, our pronunciation,” Miki repeated in Japanese, the sight of Chiba still laughing causing her to lose her composure. “It’s been like this since the start...” she choked a laugh, which caused everyone to also start laughing.

“…and it will continue being like that.” She started cackling after.

Nagisa raised his hand once again. “Hey Sugino,” he called out. “Listen to me carefully, please. If we train outside during winter, it will be so cold!”

“Can’t you at least mix some English in this debate?” Sugino laughed exasperatedly.

Nagisa then pointed towards the other team accusingly. “That’s because that side is talking in Japanese!”

Chiba stood up at that. “Hey, Hey!!”

“HEY!! Y-you!” Maehara pointed back at him.

“I speak English!” Chiba loudly claimed then paused all of a sudden, blinking in confusion as if a thought suddenly crossed his mind.

“You- you guys started first!” Maehara accused back.

Sugino frantically tried to tone them down. “Calm down everyone. Calm down, calm down!”

Takebayashi, who had been quiet the whole time, pulled Maehara down to his seat, sighing. “Don’t fight, you guys…”

--//--//--//--//--

“Um! I’ll explain.” Miki raises her hand again. “We are from Australia!” She gestured towards Nakamura and herself.

Sugino marveled at that.  “Oh! You guys from Australia!”

“Yeah yeah!!” Miki and Nakamura answered in unison.

“But Miki,” Sugino laughed, “aren’t you Canadian?”

“What?” Miki widened her eyes before aggressively shaking her head. “NO!”

Sugino nodded his head in understating. “Ahh, so you Australian, then?”

“Yeah!” Miki confirmed, a grin on her face.

“Okay, go on!” Sugino permitted.

Miki cleared her throat. “In Australia, it is 40 degrees Celsius.” She explained.

“40 degrees!” Nakamura repeated, raising four fingers and showing them to Sugino and the opposing team.

 “But! We still take a hot shower. But Japan also has beautiful summer days as well, right?” Miki continued confidently.

Meanwhile Chiba and Maehara just looked at her, unmoving.

[chiba_and_maehara.exe has stopped working]

Miki paid them no attention, though, as much as they both looked hilarious to her. “And in the summer day, whether you like it or not, you are gonna end up being sweaty and smelly. But when you take a hot shower, you take all that dirty smell…”

“No!” Chiba suddenly objected, raising his hand.

“No No NO!” Maehara repeated loudly.

Chiba raised his hand even higher as he stood up, trying to get Sugino’s attention. “Hey, hey! Hey, HEY, HEY, HEEEEY!!”

Maehara also stood up then began slamming down his desk as if he was hitting a buzzer. “Objection! Objection OBJECTION!”

Sugino turned to them with a frown on his face, pointing the stick to them.

“Sit.” He ordered.

Maehara and Chiba both quickly sat down without complains.

The rest laughed at how easily commanded the two were.

“Oh man, Sugino! That was so cool!” Nakamura praised, laughing.

--//--//--//--//--

Sugino looked up at the ceiling as he gathered his thoughts. “Uhh… I used to think… I like to shower in cold water.” He admitted, which caused the other team erupt into cheers.

“YEAH!!” Chiba cheered.

“That’s right, that’s right!” Maehara laughed.

Sugino gestured them to tone down once again. “Okay wait, let’s listen here.” He then pointed his stick towards Chiba, who was taken aback at being chosen to speak all of a sudden. Chiba turned his head to Maehara, but his equally debate-passionate teammate was also looking at him expectantly.

Chiba gulped nervously when he felt all eyes on him, but he stubbornly ignored them and instead, focused his attention solely to Sugino.

“Café is hot.” He began shortly.

Sugino nodded slowly. “Okay, café is hot.” He repeated.

Chiba then acted like he was putting on a jacket. “But we are wearing padding…” He then nervously glanced at Maehara.

“Parka.” Maehara assisted.

“Parka parka!” Chiba corrected himself.

Sugino bit down an amused laugh. “Okay, okay.”

“So… you’re so hot!” Chiba continued. “Then… uhh… there is uh…” he trailed off.

Sugino quickly interrupted him. “You can speak in Japanese if you can’t.”

“Iced coffee and hot coffee…” Chiba made himself continue to speak in English, stubborn.

Sugino leaned closer, raising an eyebrow. “Hmm?”

Chiba furrowed his eyebrows in concentration, trying his best to form his sentences. “Then uhh… w-what do you want to drink?”

Sugino frowned in confusion. “Wait… in winter?”

“What?” Chiba blinked, seemingly not hearing him the first time.

“In winter?” Sugino repeated.

“Yeah, yeah!” Chiba answered then suddenly stood up when he realized something, raising his hand. “Oh! OH! But! In winter but café is hot.”

Maehara’s face lit up. “Oh yes, yes, yes, YES!”

Chiba then cocked his head, smirking all of a sudden. “yOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING BRO??”

“HEATER IS BOOMBOOM!!” Maehara loudly exclaimed, gesturing towards an imaginary heater.

“No no no!” Kimura, who was the only one so far who hadn’t been speaking, suddenly stood up, his hand raised. “Café is adequate temperature!” He claimed.

Maehara was about to shut him down but Sugino suddenly walked towards Kimura and high-fived him. “OHHHH!!!”

Not having it, Chiba and Maehara continued to let out various screams of disagreement. “No no no!”

“NO NO!!” Maehara raised his hand even higher. “Also, parka is very hot!”

“Yes yes yes, padding is so hot.” Chiba agreed, pretending to wear a jacket again.

“Then take your padding off!” Kimura rebutted, sliding off his blazer to his elbows for emphasis.

Chiba quickly sat down, laughing off his embarrassment.

Maehara remained stood still, his mouth stuck opened wide, too speechless to even say anything back. He glanced at Chiba who just shook his head, flustering him even more. Letting out a nervous laugh, he began saluting Kimura. “YES SIR! YES SIR!”

Maehara then sat down at the same time as Chiba slowly stood up once again for some reason.

There was a pause as the two passionate debaters looked like they were about to space out. But then suddenly, they simultaneously exclaimed. “AH! AH! AH!”

“Uh you go first.” Chiba offered, patting Maehara’s already raised arm.

“I have opinion.” Maehara started, nervously laughing as he stood up.

Everyone looked at him expectantly.

“We will freeze to death…” He claimed.

“Who’s dying?!” Chiba jerked forwards, cackling.

Sugino looked at Maehara carefully, his easy-going smile tightening.

“I cold, I cold! VERY COLD!” Maehara exclaimed, pretending to shiver.

Nagisa then raised his hand, chuckling. “Sugino, Sugino, Sugino!”

“Hey HEY!” Chiba reprimanded him while Maehara shushed him.

“BE QUIET!” Okajima loudly yelled all of a sudden after being quiet for a while.

Maehara stared at Nagisa intensely, who immediately lowered his hand. “I… I’m first…”

“Ok ok, tell me tell me, you don’t have get mad.” Sugino reassured him. “Don’t get mad. Just tell me, what?”

Maehara started shivering again, but this time pretending to warm himself with his imaginary jacket. “I’m cold, very cold, very cold!”

“Yes, you’re cold.” Sugino nodded slowly.

“Need adaption.” Maehara continued.

Sugino raised an eyebrow in confusion. “You need what?”

“Need… adjustion!” Maehara corrected, laughing at his mistake.

Next to him, Chiba jerked backwards, wheezing in laughter again before sitting down.

“So! If I drink Iced Americano…” Maehara trailed off.

“You cold inside?” Sugino finished, rubbing his stomach for emphasis.

Maehara nodded enthusiastically. “Yes yes!”

“Same with other temperatures?” Sugino asked.

Maehara shoots him a finger gun, winking. “YES YES YES!!”

“In winter, right?” Sugino asked again.

“Yes in winter!” Maehara happily confirmed.

Chiba stood up again, raising a hand. “Hey, Sugino? I have a question.”

Sugino looked at him. “Yes, what is?”

“Do you drink hot coffee or iced coffee?” Chiba asked.

Sugino started playing with the pointer stick as he gathered his thoughts. “I used to drink uhh… cold coffee…”

“OH!” Maehara exclaimed.

Chiba gave Sugino a thumbs up. “That’s right!”

Maehara smacks his palms together in realization and enthusiastically raised his hand up. “OH!”

Meanwhile, Miki just scoffed at Sugino’s answer.

“But Sugino usually likes warm things…” Nakamura muttered, writing something onto a piece of scrap paper before passing it towards Kimura.

Kimura took the paper in confusion, before cackling when he saw what was written on it. “What is this?” He then leaned towards Nagisa, pointing at some of the words. “Say, how do you read this one?” He whispered.

“Sugino!” Nagisa called out, causing him to turn towards them. He then pointed to Kimura, who was about to read out what’s written on the paper. “Kimura has… something to say.”

“Okay!” Kimura immediately began reading. “You like… warm… feelings… just… like…” He was barely halfway to what he’s reading when he began laughing. He leaned towards Nagisa again for assistance. “Wait, what does this say again?”

“Just like we give you warm feelings.” Nagisa read out for him before he turned to Sugino again. “Okay so, Sugino usually likes warm things.” He tried to translate.

Chiba frowned at him. “Hey, why you speak in Japanese?”

“OH WHY YOU SPEAK IN JAPANESE?!” Maehara yelled, smacking his fist with his palm.

Chiba suddenly picked up a notebook from his desk and was about to throw it at them. “WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING?!?!”

“HEY HEY! IEROO KAADO! IEROO KAADO!! (Yellow Card)” Maehara yelled repeatedly.

Chiba aggressively ruffled his own hair in frustration, the annoyance all over his face being more visible as his bangs were pushed back from the ruffling. “OH MY GOD!” He then face-palmed, sighing exasperatedly.

Okajima suddenly stood up, even walking away from his desk.

“I CAN SPEAK JAPANESE!”

Everyone then paused, all giving him strange looks.

“Do you want me to speak Japanese?” Okajima threatened (?).

Chiba looked at him dryly, his mouth hanging open in exasperation. “Hey hey hey hey! You, you?”

“Me?” Okajima pointed towards himself in confusion.

“Yeah, you!” Chiba pointed at him, and then directed the pointed finger towards Okajima’s vacant seat. “You sit down!”

Okajima quickly sat down without complain, causing everyone else to erupt into laughter.

When the laughter died down, Kimura decided to try his luck again. “Sugino! Sugino! Sugino!”

“Just speak with your body. You can just do that.” Miki told him earlier.

“You catch a cold.” He began loudly.

Sugino nodded slowly. “Okay, so?”

“But… Iced Americano… eat.” Kimura made drinking gestures as he explained, pausing for a bit before violently coughing. “Okay?” He pointed a finger to his own temple.

“I used to drink iced coffee but I get cold.” Sugino tried his best to translate Kimura’s charades.

“Oh! We need to keep our body warm.” Nagisa nodded happily. “We need to keep our body warm,” he then repeated in Japanese.

“Yeah!” Kimura agreed.

“Then…” He continued. “Then, so are you going to take a cold shower?”

Sugino immediately shook his head. “No!”

At that, both Chiba and Maehara started calling for him.

“Yes??” Sugino turned to them.

“Ah Takebayashi…” Maehara gestured towards him. “Takebayashi wanna say.”

“Uh Think about…” Takebayashi started.

But the other team suddenly was making a fuss for some reason, interrupting him.

Chiba pointed an accusing finger towards them. “Hey Hey Hey Hey!”

“BE QUIET!” Maehara yelled again.

“Be quiet, be quiet!” Okajima repeated.

It was quiet for a few seconds while Chiba glowered at them, his currently visible eyes appearing more intense than they naturally were.

All of a sudden, he picked up the notebook again. “YOUR BEHAVIOUR IS SO… UGH!!!” He yelled, violently slamming the notebook down to his desk, the impact causing Maehara and Okajima to flinch.

Okajima quickly pulled him back.

Maehara nodded at him in agreement, pointing an accusing finger to the other team. “SO RUUDO RUUDO! (Rude)”

“HEY!” Chiba yelled again while Okajima frantically tried to calm him down.

Sugino figured it’s best to put a stop to it. “Okay okay, class. Concentrate. Class! CLASS!”

Maehara looked like he was about to say something again, until Sugino pointed the stick towards him specifically. “Be quiet! Be quiet! BE. QUIET.”

Maehara then sat down.

When the commotion died down, Sugino ushered Takebayashi to continue.

“Okay, so think about the training we had before we went to Okinawa!” He brought up.

“OOOHH!!” Maehara’s eyes widened in realization.

“It’s so so hot!” Takebayashi continued. “So if you, after the training, showered in hot water… NO!”

“NO NO NO NO NO!!!!” The rest of his teammates loudly let out various noises of pure disgust.

Nagisa raised his hand. “Think of after late night practice for Momotaro school play. It’s so cold, are you still gonna drink iced Americano?”

Chiba looked particularly attacked at that. “Hey hey hey!”

“IFU! IFU! IFU!” Maehara aggressively raised his hand high, his voice cracking the louder he yelled.

“If you freeze to death, you can melt and LIVE! But if you get a heat wave, YOU JUST DIE!!”

Chiba, Okajima, and Takebayashi all dissolved into laughter at the logic.

Sugino couldn’t help but grin as he tried to calm everyone down. “STOP! STOP! STOP! This debate is finished! It’s done. It’s done!”

As everyone settled down, Maehara leaned to Chiba, who was still laughing. “You’ll live if you melt!!” He repeated, causing Chiba to laugh even longer.

“Ohhh so that’s how it is?” He wheezed.

“Yeah, man!” Maehara strongly replied, which further adds more fuel to his teammate’s laughter.

“I’ve really enjoyed this debate so much!” Sugino smiled.

Maehara kept ranting on about how if you freeze, you can just melt and live, etc. But Sugino ignored him, walking towards the Warm Shower team.

“Late night practice for Momotaro play, I remember when we went home after.” He then looked at the Iced Coffee team. “I also remembered our summer training before we went to Okinawa!”

Both teams looked at him in anticipation, eager to know his final decision.

“But honestly, when I got home after our late night practice for Momotaro play, I drank iced coffee,” Sugino admitted.

Chiba immediately stood up at that, Maehara and Okajima following after, while Takebayashi just clapped in amusement.

“Because when I eat, I don’t usually drink warm things.” Sugino explained, and then pointed his stick towards a certain team.

“So, my pick is the ‘ice even if it’s freezing’ team!”

“YEAHHHHHH!”

--//--//--//--//--

Nakamura: “Miki, wasn’t English supposed to be your first language?”

Miki: “… I didn’t think they’d be that stubborn though…”