#So I'm pretty sure we're supposed to assume they're the same age

[waokevale]

A Clarification to Wormwood's Age (And why he's fully fledged without a shred of doubt)

So, as we all know or have heard some at point, there are still people out there, who think the peculiar lunar plantation is an infant, solely due to the way he speaks, behaves and of conviction that he was literally born yesterday. Which by all means is false.

That's why I'm here to finally dismantle that belief. I'll present you with several compelling arguments of mine based on throughout research I did on his character overall, and if by the end of this post, you'll still hold firm to that same opinion, then I'm afraid that's out of my hands by that point.

If you're willing to stay for the duration of this thesis, and hear me out, I'll be very greatful. And please do listen, so we may not make any more misconceptions as such about him in the future.

I'll be splitting this post into 5 segments, one with additional subcategories.

General Appearance

Behavioral Pattern

Intelligence

Character Interrelations

Canon Information

First of, let's start off with the obvious:

General Appearance

If we're going to interpret his appearance based on 'human qualities', then physically, compared to actual child characters, Wormwood's design is vastly different.

The easiest way for me to prove that, lies in one of the recent animations: (Swine & Dine), where all the (live) children are gathered in one place, alongside Wormwood and Wes.

Here, you can distinctly pick apart the difference between the three preteen characters, Walter, (who's likely supposed to be a teenager on the younger side; around 13-14), and the last two.

The most obvious difference is the jawline. Wormwood, for one, has a massive jaw, easily rivaling that of Maxwell's (while technically, this feature isn't reserved solely for adults, it is moreso common to see an adult with a define jawline, rather than a child.)

This, alongside his torso being usually depicted as an inverted triangle (at least in the official animations), seem to be features added intentionally somewhere post his release, as he looks much more childlike in his animation video, where he's still technically a sapling per se.

Even Several of Wormwood's skins showcase, that he is in no way meant to be seen in a juvenile way.

The best example of that being his Victorian skin.

Look me dead in the eye and tell me that's a child. That is one of the most indisputable old man portrayals, you can get from an anthropomorphic plant character in media. Do not try and argue, how a child is meant to look like that, because neither of the four actual child characters has a skin, which makes them appear that much significantly older than they actually are.

So what reason would Klei even have to make his skin look so apparently elderly, if they saw him as a child?

More examples of his mature skins could be said for the Roseate and Guest of Honor. While they're not outright elderly, as is the former, the general vibe is similar to that of other adult characters' portraits.

Now that we've compared him to human characters and their characteristics, we should take into consideration what he actually is. Let's remember, that at the end of the day, he's partially a plant organism and partially an inorganic crystal from the moon , certainly he ages much differently than us humans, or even most other constant species for that matter.

I'm pretty sure he was also formed with a fully developed body (since he seemingly bloomed shortly after forming, which is a trait reserved primarily for mature plants)

But then again, appearance alone isn't enough to make one truly adult, is it? Thus we're moving on to:

Behavioral pattern

Few things you'll immediately realize about Wormwood is his alleged naivety, playful nature and seldom use of grammatical correctness. Due to this, many immediately assume that he's a child, which is understandable, but not a good enough reason to make such an assumption.

There are many factors involved in building one's disposition, and in Wormwood's case, there's plenty of reasonable causes for his behavor:

As previously stated, he's quite literally a sentient amalgam of vines, brought to life by a jewel from the moon. His origin far disparates that of any known being, especially a human.

His mind develops much differently than that of an average person. This correlates with the point above (since its a big green gem in his chest and not an actual brain). Plus, he likely hadn't had the chance to have a proper education. While he seems to have picked up on a lot of mannerisms from the pigsfolk in Hamlet, I doubt anyone went out of their way to actually school him.

He's feral. The majority of his upbringing, he likely spent surviving in the jungle. In a way, he reminds me a lot of Tarzan (A human, who grew up raised by a troop of gorillas after his parents were killed. He can communicate with the local wildlife just fine, but deeply struggles understanding and relating to the outsiders; other humans, who one day arrived on his land.) That's likely the reason why Wormwood refers to certain creatures with mimicking the sounds they make. Perhaps he can understand them to a degree, or at least is trying to.

Just because he doesn't speak English, doesn't mean he's slow. It is plausible he speaks a different language, while English doesn't come naturally to him. As is the case with Wolfgang, who has similar speech impediment issues and struggles with saying full sentences, but that's quite literally because English isn't his mother tongue. It's been a running gag that Wolfgang is the embodiment of a European man, and whichever country/countries he might've originated from, it's definitely not the UK. As might be the case for Wormwood and whatever constant language he actually thinks in.

He has certain traits akin to people with autism/Asperger's or ADHD (Nonverbal communication, delayed language development, lacking social cues, sensitive nose, short attention span, hyperactive and somewhat impulsive behavior, wild or overexaggerated movement, struggle with fitting in, little sense of awareness etc.) And I'm speaking from experience with this one, he's quite relatable to me, and many of my friends on the spectrum.

With that let's move on to the third segment.

Intelligence

Just how smart is he truly?

Wormwood isn't regarded for his high intellect, that's for sure, but remember, intelligence isn't defined by just the book smarts society imposes on us. Therefore it doesn't always correspond to a person's age and experience.

Wormwood, while definitely not on a level of a Harvard graduate, is extremely intelligent and a quick learner at that.

Let's digest what we generally know about intelligence and what it really means for Wormwood.

With the main question at hand : What differentiates a child mind from an adults'?

While he certainly shares some personality traits with Webber, their mindsets are rather different.

I'd like to present my point with a simple method.(From that one Quora post, believe it or not, it was the most convenient out of all the theories and tests I found) Dividing that, which is known as thought process into five subcategories, of which are:

Cognitive Development

Life Experience

Responsibility and Independence

Emotional Regulation

Social and Moral Development

So let's start with Cognitive Development/Psychology

(Definition : The process of growth and change in intellectual/mental abilities such as thinking, reasoning and understanding. That includes: the ability to interpret information, verbally communicate ideas, appropriately apply words and gestures to given situations, recognize and differentiate various sounds, comprehend your surroundings, use past experience to resolve current or future problems more efficiently, etc. TLDR: How thought process changes with age ; Talking, hearing, reading, remembering, problem-solving, understanding, You get the point. )

By this point, Wormwood's acquired plenty of general knowledge of the world around him and what to expect from it. (In some cases, he seems to know things without realizing it, or simply wishes to not provide more info of what he's already aware of.)

He is capable of understanding various different things, applying appropriate words to them, when given the chance. He often struggles to properly phrase what he means, but you can still get around to grasp it.

And you know what? He's especially good at deducing things not every character can point out. Here are some of the more obvious to least obvious things he's mentioned:

Leaky teacup - "Can't drink from it"

Beaten Beater - "Hmm... Can't use it"

Start tower kit - "Need to plant it on the water"

Compass- "which way?"

N- "North

S- "South"

E- "East"

W- "West"

NE- "Northeast"

SE- "Southeast"

NW- "Northwest

SW- "Southwest"

(The direction one would seem pointless to add but let's remember that there literally are characters in this game who don't know which way is which cough cough Winona cough)

Clippings - "Can sell this hair"

Sapphire Medallion/Tenpiece oinc – "Can buy things now"

(the plant understands capitalism 👍)

Winona's GEM-erator (out of fuel) - "Oh. Needs sparky"

Telelocator Focus (missing gem)- "Needs Purple Shiny"

Telelocator Socket (missing gem)- "Where shiny things?"

The Queen of Moon Quay: "Oh...she thinks Night Ball is friend hair?"

(He might know who They are after all)

Beast of Hunger (1) - "Oh. Not alive"

(This, plus any other quote of his mistaking a statue or an object with distinguishable features as alive, does not make him dull; this world literally has statues coming to life. He simply uses a reasoning he acquired from living in the Constant.)

Rose-Colored Glasses – "Friends show Fixer friend secret things"

(Most character, barring Maxwell, Wendy and Wigfrid don't know about the glasses' true purpose)

Ancient chest - "Put stuff in there!"

(One of 4 characters to have an inclining what to do with it)

Greater Gestalt- "Protect"

Enlightened Crown - "Helps hear them"

(Okay, he definitely knows who They are)

Hound Corpse (reanimating) - "Coming back"

(He seems the least bit of surprised or disturbed by this, compared to everyone else)

Antlion (upset) - "Oh no. Needs gifts"

(interestingly, no one else seems to mention why the Antlion is upset)

Mysterious Energy- "Seed"

(...?)

Distilled knowledge- "Plant this in funny floor"

(he's the only one to have figured out what to actually do with it)

I think what we all can realize from going through his quotes, is that he's in no way as clueless as he initially seems. He has his moments, but so do the rest of the survivors.

Life Experience, Responsibility and Independence

This plant has lived through a lot, but then again so have the rest, a lot of them have faced countless hardships most of us can't even fathom.

From what we already know, the fandom generally believes he is very naive and trusting, which really isn't the case. The thing is, it's not that he's naive, he may not react especially negatively to a creature or thing because he's used to seeing bizarre things, or because he's not afraid of them, unlike the majority of the survivor cast, who are alien to the constant.

Barring the in-game mechanics which force characters to be competent regardless of their experience, we're going to focus on his reactions to mobs and items that might pose actual threat to him or others, or are considered as questionable by him.

Inflatable Vest - "Safe?"

Shadowcraft plinth - "Scary hands helping?"

Fish steak - "Watch for bones"

Candy Apple - "Careful! Don't eat stick! "

Platapine (sleeping)- "don't wake it"

Sentrypede husk - "Sleeping. Shhh"

Sea Stack - "Oops! Watch out!

Great Tree Root - "Oh! Don't bump into friends!"

Worm hole (open) - "Deep. Dark"

(When deerclops is near) - "Something scary coming!"

Pressure plate - Hmmm...Odd rock"

Dread mite (about to explode) - "Look out!"

Shadow Reaper - "No...Wants to hurt friends!"

Depth Worm (lure) - "Hmm... not safe"

Depth Worm (burrowed) - "something hiding"

Meat bulb - "Careful!"

[The fish quotes in DST + the candy Apple are giving me an image of him saying that to the child characters (and definitely Woodie for the latter)]

Independence-wise, the one thing I especially took notice of, is how much the child characters seek guidance from the adults in the group, mentioning them by their formal titles too. That's especially frequent with Webber, Wurt, and Walter, though Wendy rarely does this. On one hand, she claims she considers toys and fun to be behind her, but contradictory, enjoys playing with other children and some of the adults. (Besides we canonically know she's 10-11 years old)

Wormwood isn't known for wanting to seek guidance either. He's sometimes confused about how certain things work and thus will ask about it, but that's understandable given his predicament. (As @thebleedingalien once mentioned, he's like an extraterrestrial experiencing bits and pieces from 2 different worlds at once)

He doesn't really care to play with toys either, (barring a couple of instances, one being Bernie and the others; toys with wheels and Antlion's sand castle. But c'mon, I know some of you grown adults own toy cars/collectibles or build sandcastles when you have the tools, you can't lie to me and say neither of these things is fun. Plus, this post is literally about a video game character, and those, not too long ago, were considered childish.

And besides, adult characters in this game also goof around. There's the whole sand castle building thing in Shipwrecked, which curiously Wormwood doesn't have a strong opinion on.)

But if we were to compare his maturity to other adult characters…

(Wilson) [aside his many, many jokes]: Silk- "It comes from a spider's butt."

(Willow) Portal Exit - "It's fun to watch OTHER people fall on their butts."

(Wolfgang) Coral Nubbin - "Haha. Rock is bald."

(WX-78) Regular Jungle Tree (normal and stump) - "THIS DUMB TREE HAS A DUMB FACE"

(Wickerbottom) Weregoose - "My! What a silly goose!"

(Wigfrid) Plant (ready to be picked) - "Ugh, vegetables. I'm nöt sure what I expected..."

(Woodie) Ghost - "Boo! Ha ha!"

(Winona) Kingly Figure - "It's BUST-ed! Ha!"

(Maxwell) Frazzled Wires - "I might hide those in WX-78's bedroll if I get bored"

(Wortox) [But if we were to pick an example of many] Potato Sack- "Hyuyuyu, wouldn't it be fun to hide inside and give him a scare?"

Yeah, I think he's good.

In this section I don't really have much else to say. He can be cautious, he can be daft. He joggles the braincells alongside the rest of the survivors. But all in all, I would not consider him any more reckless or goofy than either the child or adult characters. Independence wise, while he can absolutely manage just fine on his own, his desire for companionship far outweighs that.

And since we've already talked about maturity, let's move on to:

Emotional Regulation

Despite common belief, Wormwood is not overly emotional. While, yes, he is excitable and easy to impress, he doesn't usually display intense negative emotions, unless something (more often than not wooden) is destroyed, or unless a plant or a creature he likes, suffers. But then again, in those situations, it's logical to display panic, worry and grief. Imagine if your family member or friend suddenly caught on fire and burned before your eyes... Yeah, I bet no one morally adjusted would be the slightest bit of composed in those kinds of situations...

Worse yet, the majority of the Constant is filled with plants, most of whom are his friends, the closest to his kind, beings which display varying amount of sentience...

In actuality, the children, including Wendy, display a shift in emotions much more often than Wormwood does.

Then there's Willow, WX-78, Woodie (birds) and Maxwell, who all have even less emotional stability.

In comparison, I'd say he handles most situations much more maturely and nonchalantly.

Social & Moral Development

Ah yes, the ability to difference right from wrong, morality, patos or however you would call it. Now this one's a little tricky, on one hand, while he may react strongly to a plant's demise, his reaction varies, when it comes to animals and structures. Sometimes, he doesn't really bat an eye, frankly, other times, he displays intense amounts of grief.

I guess that's the definition of selective empathy.

Curiously, he has 2 separate quotes for a pigeon. One from Hamlet, where he seems a lot more distressed when it perishes, and the other, from The Gorge, where he simply states the fact "Oh. Dead."

I'd like to think this was intentional to sort of give him that fading care many of us experience as we grow older.

Here's another example:

[Hamlet] Glowfly (dead) - "(sob)"

[DST, Host of Horrors update] Koalefant Carcass - "Braump...? Not anymore"

Regarding the other survivors; for the most part, he sympathizes with them. Though he doesn't panic much when they die from average constant shenanigans. He knows it's not permanent or consequential.

He does show sympathy, when some of the others' precious belongings get destroyed or damaged.

Winona's Catapult (burnt)- "Fire bad"

Winona's Spotlight (burnt)- "Oh. So sad"

Mighty Gym (burnt)- "Oh... poor muscle man..."

Or in some instances, when a character strongly disapproves of something/is emotionally hurt and he takes notice of that:

Nautipilot - "Robot friend doesn't like Pull Rock"

Mocking Bird - "Mean tweeters, hurt friends' feelings!"

What's interesting, is that, while he calls many creatures his friends, he specifically avoids calling Maxwell that. He even considers Lucy, Willow and Woodie his friends, which is just... wow. May he harbor a grudge against him for what he did to the other survivors? Something more personal? Or is it moreso related to the fact he's fully siding with the shadows... Most likely the former.

Overall I would say he's definitely more empathetic than not, and one doesn't have to care for every living being after all.

Character Interrelations

Regarding what other characters think of how old he is...

It's debatable, keep in mind, the characters don't have to be fully aware, or can misinterpret his age based on his behavior alone.

Most people just refer to him as "plant", unsurprisingly.

There's characters like Winona, who seem to intentionally downplay his age. Winona in her quotes refers to both Wormwood and Wilson (who's officially in his 30s) as 'bucko' (a lively, young fellow. Or in some cases a friend, or another version of buddy). As for her quotes for Bramble trap and Compost wrap, she refers to Wormwood with the terms 'lil plant fella' and 'little guy'. She pretty much just teases people who are younger than her or seem younger. Or she genuinely believes he's actually that young.

There's plenty instances of people calling him a variation of little, small or sapling, which might just be how they see him. Keep in mind, just because a character may think he's on the younger side, does not mean their interpretation is the absolute firm belief you should uphold.

Then, there's Wolfgang and Wurt, who both firmly believe that he's a grown adult.

(Wolfgang) Generic - "Is leafy green man, %s! Hello!"

Firestarter - "Leafy green man did a fire booboo."

Syrup of Ipecaca - "Will leafy green man be sad if Wolfgang doesn't have a taste?"

(Wolfgang only calls him little once in his quotes, because he calls everyone little, children though, he refers to as very tiny + boy/girl/child, so there's that.)

(Wurt) Attacker - "Ow! You mean old weed!"

You might think; why would I care about what a child and a man who's considered to not be so bright think? Well, my previous point about language barriers explains that. Besides, Wurt is a constant-born creature who builds an entire kingdom in her play style, by no means, is she clueless. She also refers to Deerclops and Antlion as 'She', while most of the other characters use he or it.

What's interesting is that Wickerbottom also tends to avoid referring to him with youthful terms, aside the obvious general one she uses for everyone and everything. If anything, she's more patronizing towards Woodie, Wilson, Winona and Wigfrid. (All of whom are in between their late 20s-40s)

Lastly, we have:

Canon Information

While there isn't much information relating to his age, there are hints in the game canon that explain that.

In the game's compendium, where reside the survivors' profile, backstory and description, three of the four kids have 'young' in their introduction. Barring Walter, who instead has 'boy' which is as much of a youthful term. Wormwood's simply stated as 'an amalgam of vines' not a seedling, sapling nor a young/little plant.

From his backstory, we know that:

"A green gem fell from the moon, landing on an ancient stone monument in the middle of overgrown rubble. Over a long period of time, a vine encircled the gem and eventually formed a humanoid figure sitting on the monument. The figure, Wormwood, opened his eyes and looked at his hands. (...)"

(Now this simply explains, that a lot of time has passed as he was forming, unlike what's shown in his animation, where his body instantly forms.)

There's also this part of his bio.

“Though the circumstances of his creation were unusual at best, Wormwood came into this world full of optimism and curiosity, ready to make new friends and see all that life had to offer. But as time wore on and he experienced the cold sting of rejection, he came to learn what the moon above had always known: Wormwood the Lonesome does not belong here.”

It's implied that a while has passed since his birth. Everyone assumes that he was just created recently and that he doesn't know anything, but as I've shown you previously, he's very perceptive when it matters. He has the knowledge and experience, even insight or a hunch. He is able to determine things others can't. Ever since Hamlet happened, his quotes gradually became somewhat more apathetic towards creatures dying, as opposed to the worry and care he previously displayed.

I wouldn't say he's exactly an adult the same way the human characters are, but he's in no way a child as many presume him to be.

(It actually kind of reminds me of how certain Greek gods are created; some are formed as adults, some grow and then eventually stop, and some come to be under very strange and specific circumstances, Aphrodite. But overall, you can't exactly compare their maturing process to that of a human.) Meanwhile, Wormwood is an alien plant with a crystal for a brain

So by the end of this post, are you still inclined to believe he's a child?

Was this completely unnecessary and took far too long to construct? Yes.

Do I regret making this? Nah.

[vicsbasement]

From what we’ve seen so far it almost looks like Carlos has been trying to make it easier for Charles? Take the chili plushie clip, Carlos is clearly teary eyed but he still tries to make Charles laugh. He is the one who’s hurting but he puts his own hurt aside because he notices that Charles is sad too and he has to make him laugh, because if there’s something else I’ve noticed in the past years is that Carlos loves seeing Charles happy

Anon! Firstly, are you the same anon from the other day? Let me kiss your brain, because I love talking about these boys so so so much and for some reason people really enjoyed the conversation we had. Anyway!!!! Let's talk about this for a second. Carlos is definitely having a hard time. If we're going blindly on the timeline, we have to assume Carlos knows about his exit from Ferrari ever since before the Dakar finale, (this is just especulation, though, because we don't know for certain) and he sort of, kind of, blew off Ferrari and the Maranello trials to go celebrate with his dad. Pretty sure he wouldn't have done this if he didn't have enough leverage on Ferrari because the trials at Maranello are SUPER important, but first, his dad just won Dakar at his age, and then he's like: well, I mean, I'm getting kicked out of the team anyway and I won't be active during the development of the next car, so, whatever, let's just do this,-- and he went and did it. That's my idea. He needed to be with his father because they all knew. I'm pretty sure they even knew during the training camp at Madrid / Portugal because he's surrounded by friends and already doing the absolute most to get in an amazing shape because he needs to be his best version this year. But-- then when he meets up with Charles again, Charles even feels blindsided. Because like I said previously, Lewis is Lewis. And he comes with sponsors and 7 world titles and his experience and all of a sudden Charles isn't really Ferrari's most important figure inside the team. So they're both trying to soothe each other. Because for the first time ever, Charles doesn't feel like the golden boy, he probably even feels like Ferrari did him dirty (that's what I would've thought, anyway) because who pays two or three times your salary to your second driver? Not any team, that's for certain. Carlos was stability for Charles and it's like his world was thrown off its axis. They were equals, similar in status, genuinely a good team. Charles feels bad and Carlos sees it, because he's lost his teammate, they were supposed to beat Ferrari's record of the teammates that lasted longer and now, well.

And Carlos knows this, and sees Charles handling it just as bad as himself and goes: well. If I don't have to think about this, and make him laugh, then neither of us need to focus on this, right? And the first challenge rolls around and he's tired but Charles is doing his best so why not sing until Charles' annoyed so he doesn't have to see how bone-tired Carlos is? He's sort of protecting Charles' heart by protecting his own. And then there's the little chili and I can simply see Carlos' thought process: this is the last first race of the year with Ferrari, and someone gifted him a chili. And he's chili and he's smooth operator and he's supposed to be fine, but his throat closes up and his eyes fill with tears and he doesn't want Charles to see him like this but it's so much. So he tries to laugh it off. And when he sees that Charles is also thinking the same thing he says, well. At least we're in this together. So he makes Charles laugh by saying he was a chili, too. We don't know what he means, but Charles is so fond and so filled with nostalgia that he laughs, anyway, even though his throat is dry and his eyes are filled with tears. And he gets to keep the chili plushie after Carlos reminded him they're supposed to part ways.

Remember Monza 2022? When Carlos completely ignored the woman who was guiding him to the back of the track so he could follow protocol? And he broke protocol to ask Charles if he was okay? Yeah, that's Carlos, to me. And I no longer feel like he's the only one capable of doing that for Charles, I really have seen Charles fight british and italian press and tell them to respect Carlos' last year in Ferrari, and I see Charles perfectly capable to soothe Carlos as much as Carlos has tried to soothe him. Because he's mourning in front of all of us, basically. And Carlos did go to Jeddah not only to help Ollie, but for Charles' sake, too. Did you see the smile Charles had on his face when they asked him about Carlos and he said that he'd called Senior and he'd told him that it was all okay and that he might've been going to the track later that day? He's doing that in front of all of us, showing us how much Carlos means to him. This is the best and worst time for Charlos fans right now and we have to deal with these two behaving like that for the rest of the year. I don't know how we're going to cope. Again, thank you for sending me these, because I just love to type until I don't make any sense.

[silverloreley]

Thoughts about Descendants: Rise of Red

I saw Rise of Red.

It was a mess and, as I expected, it blew up the lore of the whole franchise, so I'm going to consider it an AU of sorts from now on, or out of the original canon because there is no way to make everything work together.

Besides, it feels very rushed, especially the ending, it comes far too soon, and even if it's basically certain there will be a sequel or two, it still doesn't work on so many levels.

That said, it was a funny nice little thing, the songs are catchy (Red and Life is Sweeter are pretty great) and if it was for a different franchise it'd be nice and fine.

But it isn't. This is set in Descendants's world and that's where a good bit of the issues arise.

This is going to be long.

First of all, we already had enough problems with timelines as it was, but we kind of solved the issue with different theories (merged universes, different developments due to segregation, they were different but the unification brought a super quick collective development... it all depends on what line of thinking you prefer) the only one that never worked in the first place was that everyone was the same age and went to school together, Heroes and Villains. It simply doesn't add up, most of the Villains are supposed to be much older and most certainly didn't live along Heroes peacefully. But RoR went exactly there?!

And I see the appeal of it all, sure, but Maleficent should at least be older than Aurora by the simple grace of having been the one to curse baby Aurora at her christening so Maleficent being the same age as Cinderella, and Aurora by proxy since Chad and Audrey are the same age too we can assume Aurora and Ella are around the same age, makes no damn sense. Hades is a similar issue, but that one can be solved, let's say he was too bored in the Underworld (or was trying to escape punishment for his coup and was depowered by Zeus) and decided to take a younger appearance and mingle with mortals (ahem, with Maleficent in particular, I do love the pair, okay?), Greek gods did that in the myths, I can accept that.

On the same line, Aladdin and Jasmine being there puts them in a spot that is just too strange. Unless their whole plot already happened and the Sultan agreed to ship them both to school before they got married? Idk, some things can be fixed, some not, Aladdin and Jasmine probably can. The "call us jaladdin" can't, I draw the line here.

What can't be fixed in the slightest is Cinderella's story. I mean, I have seen many movies that set Cinderella's story in modern times, they're fine, for the most part, but in this case, a huge bit of the original plot just disappears, and it's the search Charming has to do to find a girl he met at the ball and only there through a single glass shoe that a Fairy Godmother made for her. Charming knows Ella already here, he doesn't have to look all over the kingdom to find the girl with glass shoes?! And since we're told the glass shoes are important for Ella and Charming when the gift the new shoes to Chloe, you can't tell me they aren't relevant.

AND Fairy Godmother, here Fay, being the same age too, if not younger, and unable to correctly do magic is a bit I have beef with too, FG was supposed to be friends with Ella's mother, but she's too young here! And clearly unable to perform magic as she should. Let's use the "fairies grow slower" explanation here, so Fay is much older than she looks, it's fine, we can even use the same for Maleficent too, just for the bit. I have no idea why would either of them go to Merlin's school for teenagers if they are not so, but let's just say it's because no one can teach them as well as Merlin can and let's call it a day. The problem Fay isn't able to correctly perform spells is a huge issue also because we're explicitly told in Descendants she had a "motherly smile" when she helped Cinderella and FG didn't correct that, she even got upset when Maleficent talked about hamsters and eggplants instead of mice and pumpkins when the carriage was discussed so it's pretty much established that FG was the one to help Ella, it couldn't have been anyone else.

Let's talk about the great absentees while we're at it, shall we? Aka, the makers of Auradon, Belle and Adam. Where are they? Is Adam cursed at this point and Belle doesn't go to school? Like in Beastly (great book btw, not so much the movie tho...)? I mean, everyone else is missing too, if we want to get technical, but the problem is that Merlin school's existence undermines a good chunk of Auradon's lore as we know it.

(After I started writing this post I came across the very disturbing info they almost put Beast in the plot of RoR, as a jock kid who could switch between beast and boy basically at will, which is not how a curse that leaves a boy traumatized for life to the point he decides to ban magic as soon as he becomes king should work, so his presence would have been much worse than his absence. In fact, I think it's for the better he didn't appear at all)

We speculated and we were sort of told by the extra books that the reason Auradon united and the Isle was created was because of a "Villain takeover" for which a rebellion was necessary (exact words we find in the guide), so there was a war and all, do we have to assume everything happened after the ones we saw in RoR left school? Since we have added the info Wonderland didn't want to join Auradon, hence the seal of the Rabbit Hole, what side did Bridget stand on during the war? Did she already have the authority to call the shots? When did it all happen?! How do you go from going all to school together to rise up in arms?

On a similar note, as funny as it can be the idea a coup can't start from a school so Ben is very relaxed when told, I've been informed by people who know this kind of stuff that a coup can, indeed begin from any place, as long as there are enough important people/resources where it all starts. As we know, Chad was considered second-in-line after Ben (he says so in D2), although I guess this changed in the years after the first 3 movies (possibly because Chloe was deemed more fit to rule?), so the Charming family is important enough that the Queen of Hearts seizing Auradon Prep with her whole army can be considered a successful coup, even more so in absence of the actual High King and Queen from the country. If we add many royals and their kids were there, as well as Fairy Godmother and Uma (yes, Uma became very important for Auradon, you can't change my mind), it is, most definitely a very real coup.

One thing I saw around is that it's likely Red and Chloe solved nothing or made things worse for Bridget and I sort of agree only in part. People tend to underestimate how much traumatic events can affect people, especially people as sweet as Bridget seemed to be, even more so when she didn't have any friends but Ella (by her own admission) and Ella was too busy with her own happiness to help her friend who got hurt, so yes, that single prank could have changed her completely. Also, I believe, after she went dark, the Queen of Hearts killed Ulyana.

I suppose we're going to find out what did Red and Chloe messed up for real in the next movie, I tend to think that either Red realizes she doesn't like bubbly Bridget as a mom that much because she's too kind and it makes her a rather bad queen, not a dictator but not capable of making the right decisions either OR something else vital in the franchise was blown up, like Ulyana being still alive (yes I totally stand that the Queen of Heart killed her, but if she didn't it means there's a problem on the loose).

Another thing is the freezing spell in the cookbook. Some say that its existence should have blocked Ulyana's plot all the same and Chloe and Red's intervention actually changed nothing, but I disagree.

Assuming it would have worked all the same on Ulyana in the original timeline, we could suppose that she didn't open the book inside Merlin's study, but simply the gang took the book and left before Merlin could arrive, so one of the others (Maleficent, Morgie and Hades all had magic) could have unfreezed her, then she could have found someone clueless to open the book for her (Ella in exchange for a chance to attend the ball, so Ulyana was her actual-but-evil-FG? a random extra who the gang brought specifically for the goal? Bridget herself, naive as she was, they left the book there and she opened it sealing her own fate?), so the prank would have happened, the main change was that R&C activated the security system much earlier and kept the gang in the room longer, so Merlin got around to catch them and give them detention this time around, that part works.

Now, this is all I have for now, but I may add another post and reply to the comments to this one, so go wild!

[celestialmantdonna]

Welcome! I'm Mint (26, any pronouns) and here I write Mantis, mostly MCU-based but with some comic + game influences. Indie, semi-selective, mutuals only, 20+ muns only. I do not own Mantis, the Guardians of the Galaxy or any Marvel characters; they all belong to their respective creators, this is fan content. If we are mutuals don't be afraid to reach out to me to plot, suggest new verses, etc.

(I default to using a normal sized font for accessibility, but if you want me to use a small font/you use it yourself because it's not a problem for you, I will!)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

Rules and guidelines are below the cut. Read before interacting & thank you in advance for reading them!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

Links: muse | bio | memes

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

01. This blog will have SPOILERS! If you want to watch the GotG movies without knowing any spoilers, you might wanna avoid this blog.

02. I do not write with muns under the age of 18, or ideally 20. If I can't find your age somewhere on your blog, I will assume you're under 20 and I will not write with you. I'm sure you write really well but it's just a me thing!

03. Do not reblog my OOC posts/threads you are not involved in. Do not reblog my open starters if we are not mutuals. If you enjoy my writing, I appreciate that! But please, if you're a personal blog, don't reblog anything that is not a gifset/image/fanart. I get that not everyone reads the rules, and sometimes it's an honest mistake. But if you do so deliberately, I will block you. Sorry.

04. I am multi-verse and multi-ship. OC & crossover friendly. I am semi-selective. Mutuals only except for asks.

05. No godmodding. This one's pretty simple. Despite Mantis having the power to control others, she will only use her powers on your muse if your muse agrees or if you and I have discussed it and you are okay with it. Similarly, if your muse can also control others, let's discuss it! Let's see what they can do to Mantis! It's fun to explore their powers, but no actual godmodding.

06. Shipping is fun and we can discuss it but please: no forcing ships and no saying our characters are dating/married without telling me. On a similar note, no saying our characters have a child without discussing it prior. I consider it a form of godmodding, and chances are I'll stop writing with you. Unless I reblog memes about sending in hypothetical kids, don't do that. I'm not saying you cannot do that with your other rp partners if they're okay with that, but don't do so with me.

07. I am me and Mantis is Mantis. Please separate the two, because I separate the muns from their muses. I want to write and create with you, not help you fulfill some sort of fantasy. I understand we can all use our own emotions and life experiences to put ourselves in a specific headspace to write, but if you're living vicariously through your muse, I'm not the partner for you. Nothing against that, I have a friend who writes self-insert, reader-insert stories and one-shots and my friend is an amazing writer. Don't be discouraged, you'll find the right partner!

08. I don't care whether you use icons or not or whether you occasionally commit typos. I do ask you try to use punctuation at least a little because if not, I will read entire sentences without any sort of pause, with no inflection or sense of pacing whatsoever. I really value creativity and characterization and I myself will, probably, have a typo every once in a while, it's all good, just try to keep a bare minimum of grammar.

09. I will not pressure you to reply to threads so please don't pressure me. If I think you actually forgot to reply I might gently remind you and you can do the same with me. This is supposed to be a fun hobby, let's remember that, yeah? I can be forgetful at times. If we're writing together please don't assume I do this because I don't want to write with you. If I'm writing with you it's because I want to and you do as well.

10. No OOC drama. Please. I am here to write and have a good time. In order to interact with me, be constructive when OOC, not destructive. I know we're all human, I understand we all have bad days, it's all good, but don't be a dick. Be respectful, to me and to anyone else I may be writing with. Don't police who I can or cannot write with, because I won't do that to you. I don't want OOC drama. Give me all the drama between muses though!

Some additional info:

Duplicates are welcome.

You can send Anonymous asks, they are welcome and appreciated. They can help me develop headcanons, ideas, etc.

If we're not mutuals and I answer one of your asks, though, don't expect it to become its own thread. I want to believe no one is being direspectful on purpose when it comes to this, but I wouldn't want you to take the time to write that, since I probably won't reply. Never anything personal, I wish I had time to write with everyone, but you know, real life and all that.

I don't write sexually charged material, it's just a preference of mine since I use writing as a tool of storytelling. If I tell you a story, personally I'm not gonna describe every little thrust/moan/gasp. Though if our muses have chemistry and I'm comfortable with you as a mun I'll absolutely be open to writing something a little spicy, but mostly fade to black/pillow talk/morning after stuff. It will be tagged ns;fw. Unprompted smutty starters/asks will get you blocked. If you write that with your other rp partners I don't mind though so don't worry about that.

If we're already writing together and you want to try a different dynamic, just reach out! While I do like to build relationships (of any kind) between muses, we can absolutely have more than one verse.

If you've read this far without yawning drop a 🪐 in the ask box (Anonymously or not) and I'll write a little playlist for you with songs I think the Guardians would have on their Zune.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

[amskvaris]

Have your OCs ever interacted before? I wonder how Taki would get along with Sabriel, since Ilma is low key angsty like Sabriel is too

I MEAN ON ONE HAND i haven't actually used sabriel in ages (i had to put the ilma stuff on her bc she already had the eyes) but i will try to make things up as i go. (no promises i didn't contradict myself on anyone's characterization though lmao. anyway)

-

taki being around ilma means she'd meet player!sabriel at some point, maybe during stia story. "Oh! You're Sabriel! I always hear about you but never met you!"

and sabriel was literally just taking a break away from people and watching central city from a place high up that she thought she'd be left alone at, but… guess not. she turns her head just a little to look at whoever found her. "… And you are?"

"I'm Taki. I help Ilma with research!"

"Ah." sabriel doesn't recognize the name but isn't in the mood for polite introductions. "How is he doing?"

"Getting better." big smile. "He's been alone for so long that he doesn't really know how good being around new people feels. Not yet, anyway."

"I see. It's good to hear he's improving." she doesn't need to say anything else and just turns her head back to watch central city. sounds like they both know how ilma feels.

"Yup." taki nods just to herself. "I'm trying to help him that way too. I think it's working."

sabriel just acknowledges that with a hum.

it's quiet for a bit. taki stares across the city too, smart enough to know not to say anything. sometimes the best company is silent company. also, central looks nice from up here. a good view!

and it's sabriel to break the silence after a belated realization she has no idea what taki meant. "… What way?"

instead of answering the question, taki giggles. "Because we're dating!"

-- huh??

sabriel turns back to stare at taki wide-eyed. she never ever ever expected ilma, of all people, would be interested in romance in the first place, much less Be Dating Someone.

but… now that she thinks about it, ilma is at the age where young love is feasible… though isn't he pretty attached to manon? although he still didn't seem to listen to manon any time sabriel saw them working together…

she's still struggling to believe it though. this taki girl sounds a bit too airheaded to be more than an assistant.

meanwhile taki just smiles a little less. she's not sure what she expected from the soon-to-be hero. "Well, it's okay. I'll try to be around next time you see him."

and they're both back to staring across the city.

taki still hasn't left. she knows exactly what sabriel is thinking about. that implied understanding over how ilma feels and now her disbelief that he would ever be dating... "You lost someone you love, didn't you?"

"I lost--" sabriel turns to face taki directly, wide eyes again-- "How did you… ?"

"You know how alone he feels and didn't believe he would date anyone." taki's smile is sad and soft at the same time now. "You understand what love is too, but you're not with anyone anymore. And as a Meteorn, you wouldn't have that kind of connection anyway."

is... is taki a genius in disguise too? is that why she's dating ilma?? sabriel doesn't do anything but blink and keep staring.

taki continues. "Meteorn are all supposed to have total amnesia, but you don't. Right?"

a sigh. "… I remember some, but not much."

"They must have meant a lot to you if you still remember them." taki hums. "Maybe it's not my place to assume, but… would they really want you to feel like this?"

sabriel relaxes. this is pretty intrusive, but taki doesn't seem to care and she does have a point.

"It's not like you have to forget them. You just have to accept they can't be at your side anymore. It would probably help to have new people support you too."

is she really getting a lecture from some girl she's never seen before that says she's dating ilma… ? sabriel still remains silent though. taki obviously means well, but these are things to think about later.

at least taki gets the hint. "Stuff like this doesn't make sense right away, but you'll figure it out eventually." she lifts herself right over the railing to sit on the bars with nothing but the sharp drop below.

... is she--

sabriel reaches for taki as a reflex, totally alarmed. is she going to jump from this high up? she doesn't seem the type to know how to glide, but--

too late. taki's already falling. sabriel doesn't even get over the rails herself in time before...

right before impact, taki slows her fall by the same glide skill and lands perfectly on her feet, brushes off her sides, looks back up and waves before running off.

…

blink blink. sabriel takes a deep breath. that was... a lot.

still, she has think about whatever just happened later and try to relax for now. back to leaning against the railing behind it.

... until someone else shows up, at least. clearly this isn't as secluded as she had hoped.

"Oh, there you are!"

ahh, right on time, aina found her too.

(at least she didn't show up in the middle of taki's lecture… that probably wouldn't go well, would it...)

[ace-s-fave-tv-shows]

You know I've been getting into mlp:fim again lately, because most things about gen 5 I find frustrating and dumb (especially a lot of the stuff they chose to keep from gen 4), so I wanted to revisit gen 4.

Just to see if gen 4 really was that much better than what gen 5 is right now, or if I'm just viewing gen 4 through nostalgia goggles.

Anyways I eventually got sick of just binge watching the show, and decided to look at fandom stuff instead.

And man do a lot of people have pity for Cozy Glow and want her to be redeemed- for some reason.

Personally I don't get it.

I mean, she is the pony version of the boy from that one L&O:SVU episode, Born Psychopath.

Like she's got "girl doesn't have parents because she killed them" kind of vibes.

She is a megalomaniac to the point that manipulation seems to be her Talent and core of her personality. [Or at least that's only what I can assume her cutie mark is supposed to imply, when combined with her behavior.]

And though psychopaths aren't all dangerous criminals.

Heck the majority of psychopaths lead normal, and pretty successful lives, because they're just uninterested in stuff like crime, or hurting others, because it wouldn't lead to anything good happening for them. And those that do display violent tendencies, if caught early, can often be rehabilitated into living normal lives.

That's not Cozy Glow.

She fully flies under the radar while manipulating people for her own gain, until she can finally manage to subjugate them to her will. Which is just her literal life goal.

Also I wanna be clear that I think she's a psychopath not a sociopath, I literally do not think she has a tragic backstory that caused her to become manipulative, she was just born a psychopath and it's no one's fault. Not hers or her parents.

I think she ended up in stone prison in spite of her young age specifically because she's a psychopath, who's just totally uninterested in trying to live a normal life, and also lives in a world that is entirely unequipped to rehabilitate her even if she wanted to.

She lives in a land of candy colored ponies, in which most literal terrorists will have a change of heart if talked down enough or after having enough elements of harmony magic blasted into their face.

In the event that neither of those two things get any kind of reaction from the terrorist they just go strait to incarceration, and if that fails, suspended animation via magical petrification.

AKA 1000+ years (or however long it takes) of statue time in a public garden so you can think about your crimes, while also serving as a warning/lesson to other ponies to not attempt the same.

Sure that's definitely not human treatment of criminals, but considering it only happens to literal terrorists, and only the ones who can't be talked into rehabilitation (like it got offered to Cozy 3 times and she kept turning it down), or successfully kept imprisoned the normal way.

Like if the track record is only 4 petrifications in a thousand+ years, of literal terrorists, and one of said petrified prisoners is now successfully rehabilitated and no longer trying to take over the world and terrorize innocent people?

Yeah, I'm okay with this.

Like Cozy Glow and maybe even Chrysalis will have their eventual opportunities for parole/reintegration into society at some point.

It might be a few hundred years, but I still think it happens eventually, for Cozy Glow at the very least.

Even though I'm also just completely okay with Cozy Glow (and various other characters) being evil for the sake of being evil. I think it's funny.

I feel similarly about Azula from Atla, or Lila from MLB if we're also going for evil tween girl characters who either do or attempt to commit terrorism specifically.

Everyone seems to think a villain needs to have some deeply tragic backstory for their desire to ruin other people's lives now a days, especially if they're a tween girl.

I say they're tween girls and they don't need a reason, some tween girls are just Like That. I went to school with some in junior high who were very similar personality wise, though they weren't literal attemptive conquerors with magic abilities.

[panvani]

Delightful when creators specify ages for characters but don’t make it clear if that age is for any given point in time

[nyforceuser]

Masterlist

Fives and Echo Reunion

Rebels & Bad Batch included!

We're going to ignore the clones' rapid aging for fun's sake, I think. Not that there's really any mention of their physical apearance. Or you can feel free to completely ignore timelines.

You have no idea how badly I want tbb & characters from rebels to interact, but I also live for the Domino Twins so here's some bantha poodoo i whipped up and posted bc I'd never come back to it and there it would sit in drafts.

There was definetely something more going on.

Rex couldn't figure it out. He didn't know if it was some background imperial scheme or other forces at work here. But there was deffinetely something else going on.

And he was pretty sure the rest of the Ghost Crew had figured out that much, too.

After Rex, Zeb, and Sabine made it to the control room completely unstopped, Rex voiced his confusion.

"Something else is here."

Zeb nodded and Sabine's helmet tipped in 'what'll we do about it?' way.

So he opened the door, blaster raised and ready to shoot.

But there was no one there.

No one alive, any way. Stormtroopers lay here and there, seven or eight in total.

"Specter 1, we've reached the control room. But there's no one here." Rex said into his comm.

"As in.. no imperials?"

"As in, someone was here before us." The clone responded, watching Sabine make her way toward the holo-table in the center of the room. "Who ever it was killed all of the Stormies stationed here."

"And whoever it was wiped all data. There's nothing here." Sabine said.

Rex hummed.

"Meet at the landing bay. There's nothing here for us." Kanan said.

"But if there's somebody else here.." Sabine started.

"I want to be out of dodge. Who ever they are, they're good. They've taken out most of the area and raised no alarm."

"The Security room is on the way. Can we meet there instead?"

Kanan was quiet for a moment.

"Maybe they were caught. They had to have left something." Rex quipped.

"Fine."

--

It wasn't the first time they were beat to a job.

But that didn't mean they'd get beaten at the job.

Whoever it was that had taken out all of the gaurds, all of the Stormtroopers, they were good.

But not good enough.

'The Security room is on the way. Can we meet there instead?'

'Maybe they were caught. They had to have left something.'

'...Fine.'

"They're headed to the security rooms." Tech said.

"On their way to the landing." Hunter said, waving his hand for them to follow.

They sprinted down the hall, blasters ready for any sudden imperials, but all of the ones they found were dead or out cold.

They came around another corner and came face to face with a group of 3 people and a droid. And they were obviously not imperial.

The Bad Batch raised their blasters threateningly, just as the Twi'lek raised hers and the man and the kid unclipped their weapons from their belts-

Lightsabers.

"Who're you guys?" Wrecker asked grumpily.

The man looked oddly familiar.

And the man must have been thinking the same.

He ignited his lightsaber. "Drop 'em."

Hunter only hesitated for a second, but carefully put down his weapon. "It's good to know you're alive."

"Yeah? To kill me?"

"Look, that was a misunderstanding-"

"Uh, Kanan? You know them?" The kid by the jedi's side said.

"Clone Force 99. They were there when the troopers shot down my master. They tried to kill me, too."

"Look, we had no idea what was going on then!" Hunter jabbed a finger at him. "We were going after you to-"

"What's going on?"

The four rebels turned to reveal three more behind them.

"Rex!" Echo said.

Rex looked from them to the rebels in surprise.

"What is going on here?" Hunter asked.

"Well.. We're on a mission to extract information from this base," Rex said. "And I'm going to assume that's what you're here for too."

"Yeah. For the rebellion?"

"Yes."

"We were sent to retrieve intel for a client, gather information on a man's location."

"Who?"

"We don't know." Tech piped. "That's why we need the intel."

"He's supposed to be real powerful!" Omega said. "The imperials think he's involved in a lot of attacks."

Hunter raised an eyebrow at her. She just gave him a cheeky grin.

"Well, that's not quite what we were looking for. If you give us the harddrive, we can analyse it in less than a rotation and send back what we find." Rex shrugged.

Hunter frowned. "What?"

"I can promise we won't tamper with it."

"You mean you don't have it?"

"What?"

Tech tapped Hunter's shoulder sharply. "An alarm was triggered in the lower levels, but was disarmed quickly. Someone is headed to the platform."

"We need to stop them." Rex said immedietly.

Hunter saluted and sprinted back the way they had come, Tech, Echo, Wrecker, and Omega close behind. Rex waved the others down a different corridor to cut off what seemed to be the third party of intruders.

--

It had been surprisingly easy, gaining access to the control room. Hardly any gaurds.

That had sent up a red flag in this man's mind.

He moved quickly once inside, gathering what information he could off of the computers and wiping everything else. He shut down security and alarms, and left swiftly, nicking a comm on the way.

Upon listening to the stormtroopers' chatter, reinforcements had just been ported off world, leaving this base short on supplies and man-power for the time being.

Which was pretty perfect timing for a quiet infiltration.

Now, the man was fleeing the base, headed to the platform, the way he'd come in. He'd meet no Stormies on the way.

As if on cue, he heard the thrumming of swiftly moving feet coming from ahead and down a hall to his right. He figured atleast five.

No, more than that.

Then he realised it was another group, coming from the left.

He stopped. How could they be on to him already?

There was no cover, and it was too late to turn back.

A man in red and black armor stepped out from behind the corner and the cornered man had his two pistols in his hand and pointed at him in an instant.

Then three more men and a girl stepped out behind the first, their weapons all trained on the lone man.

The girl didn't look very old. What was this?

Then from his right, a Lazat, a twi'lek, a human man, and two more kids stepped out.

And then another man in armor, but this time..

Oh, he knew that armor. Even if it was pale and faded, the jaig-eye markings were clear as day on his helmet.

He let his pistols down slowly.

"Well that's coincedential." The lone man said.

"Who are you?" The first man in red and black armor- clone armor, now that he really looked at it- said in a calm voice.

"It doesn't matter who i am." The man said. "But i don't want to hurt any of you."

"We have a mission and we intend to see it through." Another of the men dressed in black and red armor said. This one's armor was even more difficult to recognize as clone armor with the metal ring around the back of the helmet and... was that a scomp link prosthetic arm?

Then he noticed the hand print on his chest and his world stilled.

His voice.. it sounded just like him, all those years ago. That slight accent that had always been recognizable to only his brothers, if only as annoying as he repeated the manuals or orders.

Echo.

It couldn't be him. It couldn't.

But he had to know.

"Echo?" He said, only just avoiding the voice crack.

The red and black armor cladden man's pistol wavered, and he knew. He knew it was him.

Before he could think twice, he jammed his blasters back into their holsters as he took a few steps forward, ripping off his helmet.

"Fives?" Rex yelped and Fives would have laughed, under different terms.

Echo holstered his own blaster and slowly removed his helmet.

It was so unmistakably him. He'd know those eyes anywhere.

"Echo." Fives threw his helmet aside and threw his arms around his long-lost brother's neck, causing Echo to drop his own helmet.

"Fives!" Echo whispered, almost a sob as he threw his own arms around him.

[littlemspeachy]

This Conversation is Getting Older and Older

Part Two of You Keep Me Waiting 

Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of Murder, A character is racist 

Word Count: 3.8K (Yup y’all are getting more to read)

Draco stares at where Hermione was once stood and sighed before muttering a repairing spell that fixes the broken picture frame, then came organizing his notes for Yazmeen while he was out.

"Hey, Draco, it's Yazmeen. I came for your notes on the death eater case," Yazmeen announced, peeking into his office.

Draco shot the younger girl a smile. "Yeah, I was getting them cleaned up for you. I know how much you hate having to work with illegible writing."

She laughs and shakes her head. "It's fine, you're fine. It's other people on this floor I have to worry about. But um.."

Draco looks up at her, an eyebrow raised.

"Nevermind, I'll talk to you when you get back."

Draco nods and hands over his revised notes. "Take good care of them. They're the only kind."

"I'm pretty sure that I can read your actual notes. But thank you anyway."

Draco smiles at her and watches her leave before grabbing his things and following after her.

"You know, for such a smart wizard, I came in here easily." She says coldly.

Draco pauses in his living room, unsure how to start the conversation.

"Daphne, I made it sure you could come in."

"You need to sign them," Daphne says, pulling a pen from her purse and setting it down on the divorce papers laid out before her.

"Not before my father dies," He responded, voice tight.

"I don't really care about your feelings about your father, and he's practically a shell of a human anyway. Why do you think he's back at the manor?" She shot back, staring pointedly at Draco.

Draco stays quiet because she's right: His father doesn't do anything but look outside to the garden, and he isn't improving his mother's health either in fact, she's gotten worse because of his father being back/ He was thinking of killing him, but after working in law enforcement he wasn't sure how that was going to work.

"Just sign the papers. This isn't for you; it's for me, so get over yourself." Her voice annoyed at how long this situation was taking her.

He sighs because she was right: He was being selfish. Making them stay married even though they haven't been in the same room for longer than 10 minutes in the past 8 years unless it was an event that was centered around his mother. So he walks over to sign the papers.

"Your mother misses you, you know, and she wants an explanation."

Draco pauses the signing of his last mane to look at the woman in front of him before he goes back to signing his last name.

"I don't know why you continue to visit her."

"Because at least one of us to maintain the image of a proper person. We all can't go running around like children on the playground."

Draco rolls his eyes equally as annoyed at his now ex-wife. "Listen, here're the documents, just send me an owl with a court date, and I'll make sure to be there."

Daphne just sighed and slipped the papers into her purse, and leaves through the front door. "You need to talk to her. Also, I poured out the tea. It was getting old.

Draco simply stares at her leaving, leaving his house and his life.

Maybe it was better this way.

He steps out of Hermione's fireplace and into a living room. A room that he knew way too well for simply being fuckbuddies with her roommate.

"I thought you had better wards up 'mione." A familiar voice commented from the other room.

"I did. It was Yazmeen who let him in." Hermione said, watching Draco step out of her fireplace. Fred followed her gaze and watched as Draco got reacquainted with the apartment. Draco noticing their gaze on him.

"Are you two just going to stare at me? If so, I could've met you at the train station," Draco commented, annoyed.

Fred laughs. "Some people never change. I'll see you when you get back," Fred said, smiling at the brown-skinned woman. He pauses at the door. "Keep her safe, Malfoy."

That, for some reason, catches him off guard, but he manages to get out a quick, yeah.

Hermione watched Fred leave before turning back to the blond-haired man who has moved out of her living room.

"You ready to go? I need to call a cab." Hermione asked.

"Yeah, I'm good. Don't know about you, though... Seemed a bit preoccupied." He shrugs, back turned away, looking at some artwork on the wall.

Hermione doesn't validate the statement and instead goes to call a cab. "One is in the area, and it'll be here in about 3 minutes."

Draco doesn't respond, so they exist in silence before Hermione asks, "You've been here plenty of times.. You don't stay over like you used to?"

Draco turns quickly to face the curly-haired woman. "Yeah, unlike like some of us, we have work to do."

"Now, what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It's obvious half your stuff isn't here, and with Fred being over, I'm going to assume it's at his place?"

All Hermione does is glare before going to look outside to her window. She notices the yellow cab outside, and instead of telling him of the new development, she simply grabs her bag and leaves but unfortunately for her, Draco is a smart man, and he quickly follows after her.

The ride to the train station is filled with tension and silence. Draco likes to think that he wondered if he overstepped a boundary, but then he remembered that he could care less about how he picked at her sex life. If she wanted to do that to him, he could do the same to her. But due to that pettiness, nobody spoke until they were on the train and even then, there wasn't much talking done.

"How are you?"

Hermione glares at him from her seat before rolling her eyes, annoyed at the question "You left me Draco,"

"You left me too; this wasn't a one-person thing,"

"So when were you going to tell me you were married?"

"I wasn't then, and I'm not now."

"Tell that to the gossip magazines."

"Tell that to the gossip magazines that wrote back to back articles about you and Krum? Since when did you listen to them? Also, when did you start caring for me outside of the bedroom?"

"I don't know but stop asking like you weren't the one knocking on my door at first."

The silence informs them both that neither of them have been good. Not that they were ever good, especially not back in college. Running to each other to find something familiar only to go back to hating each other the next day. That's what made the sex good, they both think. Too much passion made anything feel good during the moment, but it's in the morning that you have to wonder whether it was really worth it.

"So are you with him now? You hop from one ginger dick to another?

"Oh, I didn't know you were ginger, and it seems like we're both following patterns."

That one shuts him up because he realizes that he hasn't changed and only moved on to her intern, whose skin looks like the woman's sitting in front of them when the sun hits it just right.

"Also, I don't mind you having sex with Yazmeen, but having sex with every black woman in our office is.... A bit suspicious."

Draco doesn't know how to respond to the claim, so he simply changes the topic "Are you going to Harry's wedding?"

Hermione's eyes snap from the blond man to the window across from him. "Of course, I'm the maid of honor."

Draco isn't really surprised by the admission, "What an Honor. But you know it's surprising that she gave birth before being married."

"Not really.. Might have been going at it for a while, but unlike you, he can stay committed."

"What are you so mad at me for?"

"I don't know?  How about we start with the fact that you left Daphne right after getting married, only to start sleeping with me 3 months later. And then lying to her about it. She thought you loved her; I mean, sure, we all knew it wasn't going to last. But she wanted to at least make it work. But there we were fucking in the backseat while she was in the store."

"Listen, it takes two, don't pretend like you're innocent." He shot back-way too quickly for a man who wanted to seem unaffected from the claims.

"That would be a good claim, but there you were in my bed way past time for you to go, talking to me about the future and how uncertain you were and all that other bullcrap only for you to be in a dedicated marriage. It'd be a bit different if you both didn't give a damn."

Draco sat in silence because she was right. Always right.. Never wrong. Never wrong in the classes they were and certainly never wrong about the life they lived

"Well, we're getting a Divorce... to legalize the situation."

Hermione glares at him. "So that's what makes this better? A divorce after what? 5 years?"

Draco wants to say yes, but after knowing the woman sitting next to him for the past 18 years, he knows a warning sign he sees one, so he drops the subject.

They both know that they'll need to talk about this again, and they didn't need to read tea leaves for that. But just like tea, it can only steep for so long before becoming bitter, or maybe they were past that stage, and it just needed to be poured out.

The train comes to their stop, and they go to a cab that was already waiting for them; they both think that even though Sanchez is annoying and strict, he still knows how to be hospitable if hospitable meant a very homely looking hotel.

"Is this it? The place we're supposed to be staying?" Draco asked, voice full of disgust.

"Yea, this was the address given to me by Sanchez."

Hermione and Draco stared at the small white and brown homely inn that looked like its been around since the dark ages.

"Let's go. It's only a night." Hermione whispered, giving a nudge to Draco.

They climb out of the car and were preparing to go in before the driver rolled down the window. "I'm going to be here by 6 tomorrow evening to take you back to the train station and if need to floor just tell the lady at the desk and she'll help you. Good Luck."

They nod before walking in and realizing that the inside looks exactly like the outside. Homely and cold-one of the great perks of being in a city next to the water.

"Check-in for Sanchez," Hermione said, smiling at the hostess.

Draco stayed in the back and looked around, hoping to see something that would indicate the age of this inn, but unfortunately, nothing stood out but a pattern in one of the supporting beams.

"Hey, got the key," Hermione says, jingling the key in his face before walking down the hallway where the supposed hotel room was.

"15, 25, 35, and 45 is the lucky number."

"Why are the doors numbered like that?"

"I don't know you're the pureblood you tell me,"

Draco rolls her eyes at her response. "Why the hell would I know that?"

"The wizarding world is a weird place, and rich kids are supposed to be cultured," Hermione joked before seeing their bedding situation. "Of fucking course, how brilliant."

Draco was confused by her sudden change of tone until he saw what she was talking about: One bed.

One medium-sized bed in a room that was freezing cold.

As Draco starts to say something, Hermione cuts him off. "Listen, we can talk about this later," Hermione sighs before setting down her bag. "I'll go down and call us a cab to the station."

Draco watches her walk away with only her purse, confused as to why she never lets him talk. But he dismissed the thought when he casted a quick charm to keep their bags safe.

They get to the station and head over to sign in at the front desk "Officer Granger and Officer Malfoy is here to talk to... Your head officer, officer Pearce I believe, is the name, about the recent killings." Hermione says confidently while leaning slightly on the wooden desk.

"Why does he look so confused?" an officer asks while coming up behind the secretary that was checking her computer for confirmation.

"Listen, he doesn't do fieldwork; he does office stuff. This is his first time. Give him a break," Hermione confides, laughing slightly at the Blond man's facial expression.

The officer laughs and checks the computer that shows the confirmation. "Alright, let me check your IDs, and I'll get you guys back there." Draco and Hermione gave their IDs to the officer, and he nods that suggests they follow him to the back.

"Have you seen any pictures of the body? or any of the bodies?" Draco asks. He hasn't seen a dead body since the war, and even though it's been 10 years, the sight of them still can keep him up for days. He wonders how Harry moved on. He thinks he should ask him.

"No, we were only asked to get the statement from the old lady, and even then, it's a bit spotty."

"Well, can you fax a copy to our office so that we have a hard version in London? We're not going to take long." Hermione says, her voice more determined than usual.

"Yeah, I can do that for you. Alright, here's his office, by the way, he doesn't like this kind of stuff, so... You gotta be smart." The officer they were following says before knocking on a door that had the name of Anthony Pearce.

"Come in." A baritone voice commands from behind the door.

"Alright, good luck."

Hermione and Draco give the optimistic officer a nod before heading into the office.

"Hello Officer Pearce, we are investigators sent from London to talk to you about the report that was given to you after a recent murder against a young woman," Draco says, looking around the office before landing on the officer's face.

Hermione thinks that the officer looks like one of the men from Mama Mia.

"So when did they start sending in young ones with fancy outfits to deal with murder cases?" He inquired before lighting a cigarette.

"We aren't dealing with the murder it's self we're just trying to find out about the... uh.. designs being left on the bodies of the victims. I'm officer Malfoy, and this is my partner Granger." Draco shoots back at the man. He knew they were young for their field; there was no denying that, but they were good at their jobs, and there will be no one that questions that, muggle or not.

Officer Pearce raises a brow before tapping his cigarette into the ashtray. "Is that so? If you're only dealing with the designs, why do you want the lady's statements?"

"We want her statements because she was the last one to talk to the lady that was most recently killed, and she could possibly tell us some information that could help us understand what's going on," Draco responds with a slight huff.

Hermione rolled her eyes at Dracos body language 'how immature. You don't hold any power out here, pretty boy.'

"If that's the case, I could've just sent the report to your office. Why come all the way here for something we could've faxed you?" The older man responds, a demeaning edge to his voice.

"Because we're going to interview the woman tomorrow, and since we were in the city, we decided to question you directly. But if you don't want to comply, I can and will have you arrested for obstruction of justice." Hermione responds, a clear tone of annoyance in her voice.

Pearce stares at Hermione and then looks at Draco. "You should keep her around; she gets stuff done. And I'll get you the interview report, and I can't tell you anything because I didn't conduct it and what was said was nothing out of the usual... But I have received some pictures of the, uh, drawings." He says before going through a drawer and bringing out a manila folder.

"Can we look at them?" Hermione asked softly.

"I can make you a copy," He says, putting out his cigarette before heading over to the printer. "Now, why'd you come here? These murders have been happening for a while."

"It's because our office thought these were stand-alone cases. It's London.. And unfortunately, people get killed all the time." Hermione says slowly, making her seem sadder than she actually was.

"Understandable, but Liverpool does have its crime.. Luckily we're not in the city, so it's a bit easier for us." Pearce says before handing Draco the first page.

"If you don't mind me asking... Why were you so resistant to us knowing the information?" Draco asked, passing the page to Hermione.

"Because whoever is doing this is getting off scot-free. And they're sick cunts too. Imagine, instead of just killing the bloke, you carve patterns into their skin. I tell ya it's some of them, refugees."  Pearce says, handing them the next two copied pages.

Hermione looks up from the pictures. "Sir, this is obviously not Arabic. And it's interesting that a cop that is supposed to serve his community has those kinds of feelings for the people he's supposed to be protecting."

"Nah, none of them live around here, and a good thing too. Don't want them to be committing crimes and stuff." Pearce says, walking back to his desk and lighting another cigarette.

Draco noticed the fist tightly wrapped around the paper before speaking up. "Thank you for your time here, sir... If we hear anything thing new, we'll make sure to let you know."

Pearce simply nods before going off into his own world as they left.

"What a fucking bigot." Hermione angrily whispered. Draco stayed silent shocked at the bluntness of the officers' rudeness, but then he realized that his father was the same towards muggles.

They walked to the front and thanked the secretary, and then went to an empty-looking coffee shop across the street.

"My father was like that, wasn't he?" Draco asks while they were sitting down in their chosen seats.

Hermione looks up from the small menu provided at their table. "You think?"

Draco drops the subject before reaching over and grabbing the files.

"How may I help yous?" A bubbly waitress asked Hermione, almost completely ignoring Draco.

"I would like a cup of coffee, straight please." Hermione says with a smile that makes the younger girl blush.

"And I would like a cup of earl grey and some of the strongest stuff you have." Draco says dryly.

The waitress doesn't respond but jots the items down. "That'll be right out."

Draco watches the waitress retreat to behind the bar. "What the hell was that about?"

"Aww, are you mad that you didn't get attention?" Hermione teasingly giggled while picking up her well used legal pad.

Draco didn't respond.

"Hey, Malfoy, do you work with still work with ruins, or are your college years being wasted on artifacts?" Hermione asks, laying out the pictures in front of her.

"Mainly artifacts and studying the charms people put on them," He responds before the waitress came over.

"Here is your drink and alcohol, and your drink, ma'am, is still being made." The waitress says in a light, bubbly tone.

Hermione nods in recognition, but her brows stay furrowed in concentration.

The waitress leaves before Draco speaks up again, clear liquid in hand.

"Don't drink that right now," Hermione says, quickly looking up and snatching the glass of clear liquid. She sniffs if before confirming. "It's moonshine.. That's some powerful stuff, and if you want to coherent while researching, then I suggest you leave that for later." Hermione informs before pulling out an empty flask.

Draco looks at her curiously before pouring the clear liquid into the flask.

"Look, they didn't die graphically. There's no blood if that what you're worried about." Hermione says, looking up at the blond across from her.

"No..That's- I just.. If something big happens when we're on this case, we're going to become much more than researchers, and I just- I left the field for a reason, and I really don't care to be put back in. I was perfectly fine at my desk and perfectly capable of what I was doing."

Hermione looks at him deeply at him before looking back down at the ruins. "That's wonderful to know, and I understand I really do, but we've been working under Sanchez since our internships. And I know that he's smart enough not to let his head researchers go into the field blindly just to get killed. He knows we can handle ourselves out here. Meaning you gotta start trusting yourself. Plus, after this, we'll probably get a nice vacation offering once we're done, so suck it up and let's figure this out before more people die."

Draco sips on his tea, considering the words of the intelligent woman in front of him.

"Here's your coffee, ma'am... Buy the way it's on the house." The waitress interrupts, setting down the requested coffee.

Draco rolls his eyes at the "sincere" action before grabbing his wallet and handing the young woman 100 pounds. "Keep the change."

Hermione gawks at the exchange but doesn't voice her comment until the woman goes away.

"Do you know how much money that is?"

Draco sends her a confused look before replacing his wallet with his glasses. "All right, what are we looking at."

"Well, firstly, you're starting to look like Harry for one. I get you both are basically office mates but geez. And secondly, I think it's Egyptian. Like something found in tombs, but then there's more stuff that I can't really think of... Maybe Mayans?"

Draco grabs a pictured and stares before shaking his head. "Possibly, but there seems to be a mix of several curses among the charms. Those are most certainly from Egypt, and that's probably how the doctors died," He says before grabbing another picture. "Yeah, because they look like hieroglyphics, and so they decoded them and then cursed themselves. But how he got them on the body is what's' really confusing."

Hermione nods before asking, "Don't you have tea with you?"

"Yeah, but I know it's cold, and so I got a new cup."

A new cup indeed.

[callipraxia]

Aaaand we're back in business!

It concerns me that Toby Determined attempting to tap dance while bemoaning what his life has become is listed among the things Soos likes.

"We've tried everything." The implications of this line are intriguing and kinda touching. It implies Wendy has also known/been friends with Soos for longer than this summer - has she worked for the Shack in the past? (Does Stan have some bizarre tendency to hire everyone at age twelve, then just keep them on as long as they'll come back?) Someone who can write nice things, write me some sadfluff about previous conspiracies to cheer Soos up, won't you?

The laser tag entry scene...funny on several levels. For one thing, it's supposed to be twelve and under, but Soos is not, as it turns out, a special case - Robbie and Wendy are also in evidence, and nobody seems to notice or care that Stan (who is somewhere in his sixties, mind you) decides to join in with apparent enthusiasm, too.

Baby Gompers! Tiny Soos! Red screwdriver*! Wax Sherlock Holmes!

Soos has apparently lost his mother somehow (based on how angry Abuelita gets about his father for voluntarily staying away and how Soos already seems to have lived with her by this point, I'm assuming his mom is either dead or in prison, probably dead) in addition to his father bailing on him, so it's rather nice to see he does have all this supportive, apparently affectionate, family. Even some friends his own age, assuming the kid he talks to just before the postman comes isn't one of the cousins.

I remember reading somewhere online that people in the day speculated that Soos' absentee father might actually be Stan, putting together the "too busy to be bothered with you" bit with the odd story Stan rambled his way into about drive-in movies during "Little Gift Shop of Horrors"...I suppose it makes a degree of sense, if I try to imagine not knowing *exactly* how intense Stan can get on the subject of his family and then seeing the episodes fairly close together? Still, though - given even what's seen on-screen up to this point, I find it kinda hard to imagine Stan walking out on any kid he knew he had. Shooting somebody? Sure. Risking global destruction? Naturally. Committing every crime known to man and a few supposedly unique to alien civilizations? Sounds about right. But knowingly harming another Pines, or - frankly, considering how emotionally needy he is himself - having the willpower to abandon a family member even if he thought it would be for the best? Just not seeing it, unless I suppose he was in prison, and apparently he was pretty good at breaking out of prison at need. The only way I can maybe imagine it is if he'd acknowledged the kid while living under his own name, since he'd legally killed off that identity, but that still rules out Soos as a biological relative.

Surprisingly unobservant moment from Abuelita, not seeing the two horror-stricken twelve-year-old strangers staring in the window.

"He'd do the same for us." And this is why I just...am not buying that the majority of "Stanchurian Candidate" really happened outside Stan's nightmares. Well, one reason, but quite possibly the strongest.

What is Cosmic Sand, anyway? It's offered to Time Baby in a bottle and the robot nurse assures TB it is "good for you." Ford, in the Journal, further confirms that Time Baby is partial to this beverage...except he does so in a context that implies the beverage is something that would be Not S&P Approved? ...Though considering how casually homicidal TB is earlier, and how Mabel screeches "death," first when they're asked what to do with Blendin, TB getting drunk before the end of the competition might be for the best if it mellowed him out a bit...Though perhaps he was bound to not respond immediately until they both agreed, considering that they played as a team?

"That's...unconventional." Soos just takes everything in stride, doesn't he? Which makes how upset he was earlier all the more sad.

Blendin's screeching about Time Wishes makes me wonder if Time Baby invented Globnar...like, people used to fight wars to get it, now it's a semi-regular event? (since we see a couple of rounds going on when the twins are first captured) This could, in retrospect, explain a lot of things...

*"Red screwdriver" - back in "Time Traveler's Pig," Stan grouses about not being able to find his red screwdriver; if I recall correctly, Blendin had "borrowed" it. In this episode, Dipper borrows it...and, apparently, for some reason, it cannot time-travel, even though other inanimate objects (such as clothes and laser tag vests) can. And that red screwdriver ends up directly leading to Soos becoming "Question Mark" - if Dipper and Mabel hadn't ruined Blendin's life, Blendin wouldn't have gone to time prison. If Blendin hadn't gone to time prison, then Blendin would not have challenged them to gladiatorial time combat. If Blendin hadn't done that, they wouldn't have stolen Lolph's time tape...wouldn't have gone ten years too far back...wouldn't have raided the Mystery Shack for a screwdriver...and if Dipper had even had the presence of mind to put said screwdriver back down, then Soos would not have found the screwdriver and tried to take it back and ended up having his signature garment literally thrown at his head. That screwdriver indirectly helped save the world, y'all - no prophecy circle, no prophecy circle failure, no "everyone in this town who'll answer to Stanford Pines removes his head from his bottom and cooperates with his brother to fix the homicidal triangle problem." Heck - without Soos, would Dipper and Mabel have even survived all of the summer? On one hand, all the time travel antics were a major cause of Weirdmageddon (if Dipper and Mabel hadn't time traveled, they never would have had the opportunity to spare Blendin, which would have meant Bill would have have had to look for a much harder target to get the Rift away from the family), but it also created the situation which allowed for an end. And this, folks, is why my headcanon is that our amphibian friend from the time and space between time and space is definitely playing games...it's just that I'm not always sure if he's playing 10D chess, or poker, or dice, or roulette, or DD&MD, or somehow all of 'em at once.

Well - the house is mostly in order, except that the vacuuming needs doing, but it's too late in the day for that now - too hot. With that therefore postponed to tomorrow morning and with my Spanish lessons done, I shall see if my DVD player will cooperate with watching GF S2 Disc 2.

...initial efforts aren't promising, we only got as far as Dipper and Mabel declaring that twinship makes them "birthday experts" into "Blendin's Game" before the DVD player glitched out - turns out that the first disc of S1 might not be wonky after all, and that it's actually this DVD player. Still - perseverance!

Bad children. going through people's things...I tend to regard the interior of one's handbag and/or wallet as a rather private space, and would react very loudly to anyone presuming to go through mine. Soos is probably better-natured than I am, but dangit, Mabel, you at least definitely know this, because you outright admitted you were snooping for "Soos secrets!"

Y'know, I don't know if the problem with the giant hummingbird story is that "Soos is very naive" or "it's Gravity Falls, that's actually perfectly reasonable."

...yeah, forget perseverance, let's find the old laptop with a disc drive in it, I do not have the fortitude to watch the scene where Blendin invokes Globnar five more times, and in the past three minutes the disc has twice skipped back to the beginning before I could even get past the menu. Stupid rubbbish property.

[movienotesbyzawmer]

April 18: Rocky IV

(previous notes: Rocky III)

The Cold War one! I was in high school when this came out, and it seems like the Rocky movie that has most endured in pop culture for people my age, and even younger maybe? I haven't seen it in a very, very long time so I'm wondering if the Rocky-versus-All-Of-Communism logline is going to seem like a pathetically irrelevant conflict. Or, frankly, if that sentiment is going to sound like the dipshits that attacked the US Capitol just a few short months ago. It's definitely going to feel like just a slight twist on a formula that's been working, right? Let's see…

Totally different intro from the rest of the series, and surprisingly the recap of the end of the last movie also includes the hit single from the last movie. But also there is a thing about an American-flag glove and a Soviet-flag glove punching each other into an explosion.

They were so happy with the chummy chit-chat at the end of Rocky III that they just gratuitously include that whole scene here. It is a cheap way to eat up a couple of minutes.

Oh My God. The first actual new scene in this movie serves the important purpose of documenting for all time how dazzlingly technically advanced things were in 1985. For Paulie's birthday party, he gets a ROBOT! It talks… ROBOT-style! Paulie is whelmed by how robot-y it is.

"Open your prize," Rocky tells her when asking Adrian to open her PRESENT. Why did he say "prize".

MEANWHILE IN SOVIET UNION… They do a quick montage that only vaguely suggests something about a boxer and the USSR.

Apollo Creed spots an innocuous news story about Russian boxer Ivan Drago coming to America to participate in sportsmanlike fighting. AC is PISSED! A Russian being competitive, oh hell no.

At least Drago has a female companion so there will be an actual female character who isn't played by Talia Shire.

"Commies Are Evil" isn't the only theme of this movie; there's also "The Marvels of Technology". Drago's unmatched strength is demonstrated for the press in a very electricity-filled gym. And the robot has been in three scenes already in the first fifteen minutes! Oh I hope they aren't going to get me to fall in love with Robot Character only to have it lose in a boxing match to The Commies.

Big press conference to announce that AC will be fighting Drago in an exhibition match. AC is all cocky and Drago literally says nothing the whole scene. He is characterized as perhaps yet another robot character. But his wife and some other Russian guy do all the talking, and if they're supposed to seem like the Bad Guy, I don't see it. They are perfectly diplomatic and AC is just acting like a tool.

0:23:23 - I remember this scene, we all do, oh yes we do. The Fight That Does Not Go So Well. It starts with a super flashy intro; they're at the venue in Vegas and there are showgirls and pretend fighter planes and Actual James Brown singing this movie's legit hit single, "Living in America", singing it all At The Russians as AC descends in front of a monster thing in spangly Uncle Sam garb. AC actually dances alongside James Brown and around Drago. What they're doing, these diabolical filmmakers, is going to make what happens next sting the audience pretty bad.

Right before the fight, Drago's first line is "you vill lose". Monotone. Robotic. Technology! #1985

Drago beats him to actual death, he twitches on the floor as Drago robotically says things like "I will not be defeated". It is a bummer, this turn of events.

New press conference. Rocky is going to fight Drago. "No money. It's not about the money." That's weird, addressing money in this press conference. They're not really addressing the monumental fact that Rocky is sitting next to the guy that killed Apollo Creed.

This time, the Soviets are less diplomatic. Rocky barely says anything, but the old Russian dude calls him little and weak. They have a good point, though, about how Drago gets death threats in the US on account of he is a killer of an American hero, even though the wife also says he is not a killer. But that's why the fight will be in Russia.

New montage with a very 80s pop song. Worth noting that we have not heard any of the famous music from the first movie. This montage also looks very 80s, with it's flashbacks using a lot of different, highly techologically sophisticated frame rates.

0:42:41 - Adrian eye-close sighting! Thank you so much for that, it is what we all want and only you, Rocky-movie, can provide it.

Flashbacks to all the other movies. He is thinking about it all as he anticipates The Hell Of Going To Russia. Remember when he pointed to the jacket in the window that one time? Rocky does. Remember when he looked at his statue? Rocky does. He even somehow remembers Adrian closing her eyes. This is a music video with mostly recycled footage from the whole series.

0:48:35 - Another "modern" pop song, I think it's the band called Survivor again. Were we supposed to love all the catchy tunes and go out and buy the soundtrack? We only remember the James Brown one in 2021.

It is snowy in Russia ha ha! Paulie has joined him on the trip because he is part of Rocky's staff, but he doesn't like how cold it is ha ha.

Rocky's quarters consist of a log cabin dripping with icicles at the foot of some really pretty mountains. I play Geoguessr a lot and I don't ever see pretty mountains like that in Russia, but they must have them, right?

Rocky has been assigned minders. He is told they will go wherever he goes. I'm pretty sure that's not an unfair characterization.

He's got Apollo's trainer guy there with him, but Rocky makes it clear that he just has to do this training stuff on his own or whatever blah blah.

Now a montage going back and forth between Drago training and Rocky just running through the snow-covered countryside. ON HIS OWN. Plus also sawing wood and displacing boulders on his own. Oh and being the dog in a dogsled pulling Paulie! Locals look at Rocky because, look, a man doing something, that's new and confusing. Drago has electric machines. Rocky fells trees! Drago is inside comfortable facilities. Rocky is growing his beard out! The minders observe it all. The minders observe it all.

There is a subplot about how Adrian is dealing with this whole thing. She had been unconfident earlier, and did not join Rocky in USSR. But surprise, she is now there in Russia suddenly because love! Rocky continues to train, not so alone-y now and with a new rock song with more major chords. That is Drago's weakness! Communism hates major triads.

Gotta have inspired running, right? This time Rocky runs up a snowy mountain, running so hard that the minders can't keep up! At the peak he does his trademark cheer howl in that pretty place… but he is saying "DRAGO!!!!!!!!!"

Just like that, we're at the big fight. This time it's in Russia and it's mostly uniformed soldiers in the crowd.

Ugh. Quick cut to Rocky's kid watching at home on TV with friends. He says "that's my dad" and one of them replies "what do you think we are, nerds?" Ladies and gentlemen, the wit of Mr. Stallone: Screenwriter.

Do we need to talk about Drago's hair? He has very styled hair. I think it looks like Vanilla Ice hair. Is that a strange choice? I don't know how to think about hair, I guess.

"I must break you". That's what Drago says to Rocky right before they fight. I remember it. It is an above average dialogue choice compared with other Rocky-movie-right-before-the-fight dialogue choices.

Drago punches Rocky a lot, and the commentators make sure we know that Rocky might lose and they may even have to stop the fight. But also, yes, it does just look like Rocky is taking a lot of rough beating.

"He's not human. He's a piece of iron." So speaks Drago in unbecoming monotone. I don't know what that means.

It's a montage now, an appealingly edited summary of a whole bunch of rounds. The two boxers are both doing well and maybe not doing well, both. Montage.

I guess I'm experiencing what I remember noticing back when I first saw this in the 80s, which is that they really did convince us that Drago was indestructible, and now we're seeing him be damaged and it's kind of satisfying.

1:21:15 - Whoa, I forgot about this. The Soviet Diplomat Man is giving Drago a hard time about not winning yet, and Drago lifts him up violently by the neck and says something about I Will Win For Me, For Me. It's a little like we're supposed to think Drago is increasingly inspired by American Freedom, maybe? But it won't help him if he's still the bad guy in a Rocky movie.

This fight is taking a long time. A lot of this movie's running time is being consumed by this fight.

Eventually Rocky wins, because it turns out that he is just better because Freedom, and it's that same tiresome "Rocky-won" music, maybe arranged a little differently.

What does he say in the mic at the end? What is his message? "During this fight, I seen a lot of changing…" he says that during this fight, like during the actual boxing match, they all grew to appreciate each other. And it's better to do boxing than do nuclear annihilations. The whole crowd cheers for Rocky! Even the important Soviet Boss Men, startling even themselves with their abrupt adoration of The Wise American. Then when he says Merry Christmas Kid to his kid at home, well this whole entire crowd clearly thinks Rocky is better than their whole entire country. We don't see Drago any more. We don't know if he, too, is moved by Rocky's profound monologue. And we never find out what Drago and Robot Character think of each other.

So that's it, that's the end of Rocky IV. I get why it fires people up in a simple way, but I don’t think it's good. It totally assumes you'll understand that Rocky wins because the USSR just kind of sucks. Or you won't care that it's improbable that Rocky wins because it's just so gratifying to see Drago falter. Which they achieve by making him look very perfect, and having no charming characteristics.

It's true, though, how cocky we were about technology in the mid-80s.

(next: Rocky V)

[ma-gic-gay]

So this is a new one of these and the other one is probably over so yeah

It's a weird Christmas.

It marks a year since anyone last saw Sonny, a year since Julian's death, and a year full of drama, as one would expect.

Michael and Willow had had another child, a girl this time. Her name was Ophelia and Wiley loved being a big brother to her. The pair had also burned their annulment papers when they'd realized she was pregnant and finally admitted their feelings for each other. Watching them together had probably been the highlight of the year for their family.

Sam had started hooking up with Dante much to the chagrin of, well, everyone. It had started as a few random hookups but changed quickly into an actual relationship, testing several familial bonds.

Luckily, that disaster on wheels had been halted when Lulu had woken up from her coma. Lulu and Dante got back together and fell in love, again.

Sasha and Brando had formed a relationship as well, which was quite a surprise at first glance but made sense after a few weeks.

"Carly? You okay?" Jason asks. Surprisingly enough, she hadn't completely broke down yet, or ran away. The furthest she'd ran was the island and even then, it was only a few hours no one knew where she was, since he couldn't teleport and it took that long to get to the island.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking," she responds, faking a smile.

"Tell that to the tears in your eyes and obviously fake smile," he says to her. "What are you thinking about?"

"It's been a year since any of us have heard from Sonny. For all we know, he's dead. Hell, he probably is. I know I should give up and just agree to a funeral, but it feels wrong to do that without a body," Carly sighs, head in her hands in an effort to hide her tears. "It feels wrong for him to not be here. Last Christmas, we were convinced he'd be home by now and now it's like we've all resigned ourselves to him being dead."

"If it doesn't feel right to have a funeral, don't have one. I've known you for a long time, and your instincts are right a lot of the time. Just because Sonny's not confirmed dead doesn't mean he's not," Jason frowns, putting his arm around her and rubbing circles along her back.

Sonny's "death" meant he had to step up in more ways than one. This had marked the year of Jason running the mob, which he'd practically been doing before but was actually doing now. He'd also had to become sort of a surrogate husband to Carly to the point he practically lives there by now. The kids hadn't questioned it; they'd asked a few times if there was anything going on there but after getting a firm no there hadn't been anything else from them in forms of questioning their relationship status. It was what it was and that was the same friendship they'd always had.

There had been times even Danny had questioned why they were at that house so much, to the point he once asked Carly if they were together or not.

You know it's reaching an odd point when a twelve year old is asking if you're in love with your best friend.

Of course, they didn't take into consideration the fact the whole town thought they were together. Again. Everyone had assumed, based off of how much time they'd been spending together- surprisingly more than normal- and the fact that he'd all but moved into the house that they were together.

That was a fun one to realize when he'd gotten shot and everyone had assured her that her boyfriend would be fine.

It just wasn't happening, they were friends. Anything more could complicate it and complicated almost always meant that there would be fights they couldn't go to each other to uncomplicate.

"I know that, but I just don't want to live knowing that there's a chance he could be alive somewhere and he's been kidnapped or forgotten his name or something. It's like I'm stuck in this neverending circle where there's barely any hope but I can't pretend there's none either. Sometimes, I wish that the police would show up with a body and I would have to confirm that yes, he is dead, just so that I could get out of this loop," Carly sobs. "And then I feel terrible for wishing he was dead because I love him, you know, but then at the same time, I can't help but feel like I need closure."

"That's not a bad thing, to need closure. None of us get any closure when it comes to this, Carly. You're not a bad person for wanting some," he reminds her. "You've been grieving for a year a man you don't even know for sure is dead. It doesn't make you bad to want to have something definite."

"But wanting my husband dead? That's dark," she argues with him.

"You want to know if he's dead or alive, something to confirm what's happened to him. I hate to break it to you but you don't qualify as a terrible person," Jason chuckles. "You've never killed someone, never hurt a kid."

"I shot a dude in open court, I almost killed AJ. I've done a lot of questionable things in my life, Jason," Carly fights back.

She's not wrong, persay, but she's not right. "That stuff doesn't make you a bad person. Morally grey? Yes. Bad? No. You do what you think is best and you're impulsive. If something's not going your way, you'll tip the scales. It's just how you are. None of that makes you a bad person. Some people might not like it, but you've never killed someone or hurt a kid, so in my book you're a good person."

Carly's head comes out of her hands for a minute and he smiles, wiping away the tears. "Well you're not a bad person either. You'd never hurt a kid and you only kill in self defense or if the person's really bad and threatening someone you care about. It's not like you wake up and go kill someone for shits and giggles. You mourn the people you kill and feel bad about it. Only a purely horrible person wouldn't feel bad about their murders."

"Neither of us are bad people, let's just agree on that at least."

"Fine," she relents finally. That only took a year. "I miss Sonny. Especially this time of year. Last year, he read Donna and Avery the Grinch and he had the world's worst Grinch voice. I practically begged him to read another book because of how bad it was. But this year, I wish he would be able to read it to them."

"I miss him too," Jason admits. "It's been a hell of a year without him."

"That it has. So much has changed," she agrees with him, shifting her position on the couch so she's lying her head on his lap.

That's probably why the kids thought they were dating.

He plays with her hair as she laughs, remembering some obscure detail about his telling of the Grinch and decorating for Christmas.

Scratch that, this is definitely why everyone thinks they're together.

"Hey Mom, Jason," Joss greets them, coming in from the kitchen. "I'm going to Trina's. Donna's with Ophelia at the Quartermaine's and Avery's with Ava."

"Alright sweetie, have fun," Carly bids her daughter goodbye, sighing. "Why is she so adult now? I mean, I can remember when she was born and it feels like yesterday. Hell, Michael's birth feels like yesterday. And they're both so grown up."

"Time flies when you're having fun," he answers.

"Where'd you get that? A throw pillow or some advice of my mother's?"

"A card someone sent me back when I was in the hospital. Needless to say, that card got tossed in the trash as soon as you'd let me stand up to go to the trash."

"Who the hell sent that to you of all people?"

"No clue. It didn't have a name attached."

"Huh. Well, it's a terrible expression. Too throw pillow. The real answer would be that we're aging, sadly," Carly sighs again, equally as dramatic. "Granted, I still look like I'm 27, but somehow I've aged."

"Age is but a number."

"You sound like a Hallmark card."

"Rude."

"You do!"

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm aging as well. You're not in this whole getting old thing alone. Provided, of course, that you agree to age," he smirks.

"I don't have anything better to do, sadly, so I suppose I'll agree to getting older. But I refuse to have a gray hair."

"Then go to the salon when you notice one and dye your hair."

"I plan on it," the blonde smiles at him before changing the topic. "Do you think we're weird?"

"That came out of nowhere."

"Answer the question."

"No?"

"That sounded like a question."

"Carly, how am I supposed to answer this one? I don't know, maybe?" Jason says, though most of it comes out as a question.

"Well, I mean, think of it. Sonny's been presumed dead for a year. You've been in charge of the business and been there for all of us in more ways than I can count. Seriously, I think Donna sees you as a father," Carly chuckles. "And you've listened to me crying and losing it. Hell, you spent a month and a half at the island just so I wouldn't be alone."

"Hey, you're family. I was happy to do all of those things. Besides, you wouldn't leave my side when I got shot. Or for a very long month after that," he jokes.

"I know but you didn't have to do that. You didn't have to step up and parent the kids. You already had Danny and Scout and the breakup with Sam to deal with, that's a lot at once. Not to mention, taking over the business and grieving Sonny. And dealing with me. All at the same time," she smiles. "Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful, but you had no obligation to do any of that."

"Carly, do you think I'd be here right now if I didn't want to? You know me better than that. I love you and the kids and want to be there for all of you. So far, I've only gotten shot once and that was unrelated, so I'd consider this a pretty good experience."

The blonde scoffs at him and he chuckles. "Not funny. You could've died."

Rolling his eyes, he reminds her, "I didn't."

"Well you're not allowed to get shot for a long time."

"I'll take getting shot off of my to do list."

"Don't you dare joke about this!"

"Alright. Look at me. I'm not going to die anytime soon. I promise. It takes a lot more than a measly bullet to kill me, after all. Not even Russian madmen could do it," he says seriously.

"Good. Because if you do that to me again, I'll have no choice but to resign myself to a life in either prison or Ferncliff," she says half seriously, getting a laugh out of Jason.

It's not entirely unrealistic she'd end up in one of those positions, especially given that it's already happened. Repeatedly.

Maybe there's a sign she should stop doing dangerous things.

Almost as though she's being told to by something inside her, Carly connects her lips with his.

to be continued

why do i get myself into these things smh