#Since reblogging isn't an option there at least the frustration of getting likes over reblogs doesn't exist

[merlinity]

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[circular-bircular]

hello there! hope you're okay with takes in your inbox. just putting my two cents into something, and if you have some insight, yours is always valuable <3

something that we noticed in syscourse is the absolute disregard for different structures of systems, even if those systems have the same opinions on syscourse, so it's not all ascribable to "(pro-)endo on (pro-)endo violence" or "anti endo on anti endo violence" (<- not literal violence it's that meme we like).

the first example that comes to our mind is: assuming created alters/parts are something that only endo plurals can have, and if you have created parts, you're endogenic. that's just, blatantly false?? DID, OSDD, P-DID and other traumagenic systems create their parts all the freaking time, be it because they need a specific part to carry out a task that no alter currently can do, or to facilitate a split that's being particularly distressing, so they manually finish something that was automatically started. it's not rare, it's not uncommon, it's not a prerogative of endo plurals, and it's not something to be fakeclaimed about.

another is being introject heavy, any kind of introject, but I'll be talking about fictives especially since that's what we're heavy on. this too is not an endo prerogative. Complex DID systems tend to introject a lot and in clusters/groups as part of their polyfragmentation! hearing people saying that you can't be traumagenic if you have [insert amount of introjects, or a particular XYZ introject, or a particular ABC source that the introjects "come from"] is just silly at this point and I try to not let it go to our silly little C-DID head.

it just sucks to be treated like a carpet to be stepped on because of our structure 🧍🏼

(sorry it came off more vent y than intended)

(May 12, thanks for your patience!)

I agree. Some of this comes down to norms, system culture, or straight up bigotry...

But I choose to believe the best in others, and tend to assume it's simply a lack of knowledge. And I will be honest -- this isn't always the case... but it's also never led to a somehow worse experience.

For instance: Let's say I see a system saying online that introject-heavy systems are an "endo thing." I could go out of my way to assume they are a bigoted asshole, and respond in kind (typically by just blocking, but potentially by reblogging with a frustrated tone). Or I could respond with kindness, patience, and genuine concern for their understanding.

If I follow the first path — and I’m not going to lie and say I haven’t — then I will inevitably get people pissed off. It has been very few and far between that I’ve gotten a response that wasn’t assholery, and in those times, it’s because (from my perspective at least) I’ve triggered the other individual into a fawning response instead. Not fun.

But if I take the second path, I have the option of convincing them. Does it always work? Obviously not. It’s working less and less nowadays, even.

But it does work.

Hate does not work as a platform or a learning tool. It doesn’t work as a way to convince others of your cause. It’s great at making blind sheep who follow you, sure, but… I’m gonna aim for actual acceptance and understanding over fear.

We deserve so much better than that, though. We shouldn’t have to try to fight to be accepted. Nobody should have to fight that way.

Idk. Musings I guess.

[formicarum-rex]

ive been on cohost on-and-off since november, and i think im going to stick with it (famous last words, i know, but i am genuinely enjoying my time there, meeting some nice people and enjoying the posts that come across my dash)

home page

my blog

general observations, differences between here and tumblr (both good and bad), and caveats under the cut

the ability to use html and css in posts is fantastic, and while i do sometimes miss being able to change the formatting with a simple highlight like on tumblr, the added abilities to customize more than makes up for that. i've only used it a bit myself, but plan to use it more going forward, and you can get some fantastic shitposts on your dash because of this. note that only posts are hyper-customizable. blogs themselves aren't as customizable as on tumblr (think the default/mobile theme here)

i think their pro-privacy, anti-algorithm, anti-numbers philosophy is admirable. it's not perfect-- funding is a continual trouble, although they have plans for making it sustainable.

as with all smaller websites, it is a bit of an echo-chamber and has its share of drama and controversy.

the fewer number of people also lead to there being fewer good posts than on here, especially if you have niche interests, but my dash is still quite active, and i have to check it at least once a day to keep up-to-date.

if you edit your original post, all reblogged versions of the post are updated as well.

it has a comprehensive cw system built into posts, more reminiscent of mastodon than tumblr. there is discourse about its use or over-use, but on the whole i think this is a big improvement.

i (thankfully) haven't run into anybody or any post that required blocking or silencing or muting yet, but the options are there and thorough.

related, there is a no-nonsense attitude towards bigotry. i havent run into any bad eggs myself, but from what i've been given to understand they are sniped more or less as soon as they're discovered. there may be moderation issues as the website expands (this is one issue where places split up into smaller groups like mastodon have benefits) but as of right now, it seems to be working just fine, and better than tumblr.

there's no general within-post search for the sake of privacy and to limit harassment opportunities, but unlike tumblr, the tag search is functional. in addition, all posts with tags you've bookmarked show up in a separate, single tab on your dash, in proper chronological, non-algo'd order, which is a good way to discover new people to follow and posts to reblog. this is similar to "your tags" on tumblr, but unlike tumblr, i trust it to work

i haven't used this yet, but sideblogs are able to comment, ask, like, follow, etc, separately. no more "follows from [main url]"

in general, i like the vibes better than pillowfort, the other tumblr replacement site, and its a much more satisfying tumblr replacement than mastodon, because, well, its not like twitter (although i do like mastodon for other reasons).

there are some odd things that differentiate it from tumblr that you have to get used to at best, and can be extremely frustrating at worst:

notes cant be viewed per-post. they're all under your notification tab, chronologically listed. this hasnt been a problem for me, but i understand that this can get messy if you have a lot of followers/notes

if you are not OP, you cannot view others' reblogs. i've found that this is mostly fine, but it does mean you cant dive into the notes to see if anyone has added anything you'd like to reblog instead of the version on your dash. changing this is one of the most requested features. it doesn't seem to conflict with the site's anti-numbers ideals as long as it only lists contentful reblogs (those with additions), so i'm hopeful it will be added.

OP is not notified of tags on reblogs. all comments that are towards OP and not towards your followers belong in the comments. unlike other things in this list, this isn't a downside so much as a neutral difference that has taken me a long time to get used to.

the comments are generally important. reblog chains are still used, but comments (replies) are more functional than they are on tumblr, with proper ability to reply in comment threads and a better UI. they are used more often on cohost than on here, especially if you want to start a convo with OP and others viewing the post. as far as i can tell, everyone can see every comment, unlike the reblogs.

photoset layouts are not as flexible as on tumblr

no DMs

discovery hasn't been a big issue for me as someone who is primarily a reader/viewer (if anything, the functional tagging system and unified bookmarked tags tab makes it easier), but ive heard that for creators it can be frustrating

i am under the impression that pillowfort is the place to go for specifically fandom posting. more fandom people have been joining cohost though, especially since a bunch of tumblr people joined a couple weeks ago.

i realize this isn't exactly a hard sell, but want people to be aware of potential downsides before creating an account. despite these things, i really do urge you to check it out if youre interested! it's a good place :)

[sleepy-kiddo]

Just responding to the tags on your vent because reblogging vents makes me feel bad, but I have to remind myself that these goals aren't set to harm me, and if I can't reach all of them that's okay. I remind myself that this is an "eventually" and not a "right now". I don't know anything about your experiences, but I know looking at some of your goals I kind of went "Oh no way I could do that" and if you're feeling like one or multiple are unachievable it's important to communicate that. Make it clear that this isn't just insecurity, you genuinely don't believe you'll be able to do that. If your therapist is pressuring you to get this all done as a "right now" and not an "eventually" it may be time to take a step back and consider if they are a good fit, and truly have your best interests at heart-not just an agenda to make you come off as nuerotypical. Again, it depends on your goals personally and your experiences with them. They may not be doing that at all! They may be a great fit! But, no one on here can tell you that. If you aren't sure, talk to someone you trust about it. Find your limits and boundaries, and communicate them as openly as you can. If they're met with abrasion and callous responses, it may be time to find a new therapist who will work with you. I know this sounds like me hating on your therapist-but that's 100% because of personal bias' and negative personal experiences. I'm predisposed to read certain things as red flags, but I don't know your situation and I've done my best to keep this unbiased for you. Hopefully something in here is helpful, and you don't have to answer this at all. But you can if you want to. Just deleting it is totally valid though.

I really appreciate this message, thank you! Its hard reminding myself of anything positive when I'm so burnt out. Its all self frustrations really: I'm frustrated that I'm this way, that I need therapy and medication, and need to take baby steps to function on basic adult levels when I'm already almost 25 yrs old. I keep reminding myself that its okay to need extra help and to take extra time, but any time I have an issue I get really discouraged and feel like that no matter how hard I try to change and remind myself, I keep messing up just the same. Like I've been in and out of therapy since I was in 5th grade and I've been on so many medications that barely worked...

My therapist, thankfully, isn't saying my homework has to all be done by the next time we meet in a few weeks - but she wants me to start thinking of applying my homework, maybe trying it and sticking to it so see if I notice a change. But really she wants me to get into seeing a psychiatrist first so I can go back on medication, since medications usually take at least a month to begin seeing any changes.

I'm just more overwhelmed by the fact that I know I have to eventually do these things otherwise I'll end up with worse agoraphobia than I currently have and I'll lose bubby too cause he's burn out completely along with me.

I like my therapist more than any other I've ever had tbh. She really listens to me, remembers what we last talked about, suggests books and activities to help me, and tries to figure out the best route of action with my current situations, but the only option is really just to go through what makes me uncomfortable and to keep doing it until maybe its less uncomfortable.

I expected therapy to be difficult as she is a cbt/dbt therapist and I knew what I would be getting into, but gosh I just don't know how one copes with the anxiety and frustrations during the process of it all.

I feel selfish on top of it all too. Like I'm so uncomfortable and anxious that I don't want to try, but if I don't try that would not only affect me, but also bubby cause he has to deal with all of this too on top of his own issues. So I owe it to him at least to try my best, its just a terrifying process and I'm mad at myself for being terrified and for not being better by now..

I mainly needed to vent cause idk I feel like my feelings about everything aren't valid, I keep questioning myself: "Why do I still let these things bother me?" "Why don't I just try harder?" "Why does this make me so anxious?" "Why can't I just do this thing?" "Am I selfish?" "Am I toxic?" "Am I a lost cause?" "Am I being over dramatic?" "Am I a burden?" "Should I bother?" "What if I don't change?" "If so many others can do this so easily, why is it so hard for me?"

But yeah sorry for the big message myself, I do really appreciate you messaging me. I gotta stick to reminding myself that all I can do is try and if something doesn't work there may be other ways to try things.