italodantass-blog

[littlemissstel]

Confirmation- Shiu Kong

slight angst with happy ending, no use of (Y/n), use of 'Doll', not proofread

blush divider by @bernardsbendystraws

cyber divider @saradika-graphics

You and Shiu were growing apart. Were? You have grown apart, more than you had ever meant to in the first place. When you were younger you thought that was just a silly excuse people used because, "If you really loved someone then how could you grow apart? Why wouldn't you catch it sooner?". But now you've come to understand that it isn't as simple as that, you just wish it didn't have to be through experience.

Nothing happened to mark the start of this new period, no fights, suspicion, change in personality. The problem was that nothing happened at all. At some point the mid-day calls stopped coming, the texts that read, "This made me think of you", the spontaneous gifts and actions of love...The "I love you's".

But you did love him.

The two of you just got too comfortable in your own routines that there was no need for expressing admiration for the other because they would always be there, right?

You had only realised after an outing with your friend. The two of you had met for dinner, getting dressed up, with your hair in a style that took longer to do than it lasted- but it had been a while since you had any reason to and you felt special. The night was at it's peak and through the windows you could see the heard of party goers in practically transparent clothing, you and your friend sitting front and centre to watch as they went by.

"Uhhggg that should be us right now, you know! We used to go out all the time, what happened with that?"

"I'm not really sure, I think I've kind of slipped away from the club scene but we should go out again sometime soon"

"Good! Because you have no idea- how shitty these dating apps are. You know how i felt about them in the first place but I thought ,'you know what, why not give it ago'. The worst decision of my life-"

You cut her off with a burst of laughter, rubbing your fingers soothingly against your temples.

"Don't you think that's a little dramatic?"

"No, not at all! You don't understand, it's like they're rationing the good guys for us single people. I have no idea how you found Shiu but pleeaasee, if he has a brother, hook me up"

You couldn't keep up with her antics, your laughter gradually becoming gasps for air while she continued her passion filled rant. As the conversation went on you couldn't help but think about your own relationship, you didn't mean to ruin her view on it, but with the more examples she brought up, the more you realised that the romantic gestures you did were a thing of the past- heavily outdated.

From that day on, your awareness of the situation had grown and how you hated it. The apartment was often empty, rarely were the both of you home at the same time and when you were you felt like roommates rather than lovers. Shiu was constantly stressed, you had no idea what about - when you tried to ask him he quickly brushed you off - and any attempt at displays of affection seemed unnatural. You didn't know anything that was going on in his life and vice versa.

You were trying, but a conversation about it...maybe now wouldn't be the best time. You weren't quite sure how to bring it up in the first place. But you knew with every passing day, the hairline fracture between the two of you deepened and you felt the loss swallow you whole. Every rejection was a heartbreak. You were just too far away.

It took another month for you to gain the courage to address the problem. Truth be told, you could have done it before but you refused, not wanting to ruin the rare moments you two shared each others presence.

Which is why you hesitate to do it now. The both of you on the sofa, a noticeable distance apart, on your own devices.

"Shiu, can we talk for a minute?"

He looks up slowly.

"uh-huh...is something wrong?"

"No. Yeah a little bit but it's no ones fault." You start, taking a staggered breath in. Your chest starting to tighten and you became hyper aware of yourself as he gave you his attention. Your hands begin fidgeting with each other, trying to preserve any last sense of comfort.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but we've been so distant lately. We barely even talk anymore and when we do it's never past the bare minimum. I know that people go out of the honeymoon phase and it's normal, but I really don't want to be like this. Not with you, that was never us."

"This sounds like break up talk Doll."

"No! I didn't mean it like that! You have no idea how much I love you, I just have a problem with how we've been showing it."

There's silence for a minute as you both stare, intently waiting for a reaction as he drags a breath.

Shiu knows you're right. He's felt it too but the highs were just high enough to forget until he could repeat the cycle all over again. He never thought past it just being normal, after a while couples stopped needing to do 'couple-things'. His parents, as loving as they were, never went out on dates and he couldn't recall a time he'd seen them kiss or hug because they just didn't need to. They had been together for a long time, just like you and him, they had kids and were married so what other proof did they need? No one would've thought to question it. But seeing you now, in front of him, struggling to find the right words to say...It didn't feel right.

You had gone into your separate worlds, only to return to each other at night. But when? That wasn't him? The him that loved to buy you flowers to keep on the kitchen table, the one who savoured every embrace and rued getting up in the morning. The other kind of life, it wasn't for him.

He moves his spot closer to you before taking your hand and squeezing it.

"Then we'll fix it. We can go on dates, just how we used to when we first started out, okay? I won't take extra jobs and we can talk about our days over dinner or sit down to watch a movie." He says, watching as a smile makes its way onto your face.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

You engulf him with your arms wrapped around his neck gently, placing your head onto his shoulder while he supports you around the waist, a small rubbing motion made on your back.

"Thank you, I'm sorry"

The kiss he places on your head releases the tension of your longing, carrying with it the missing confirmation the both of you had lost all too long ago.

"I'm sorry too."

low-key wanted to make it soul crushing but got over my bad mood before it could happen😔watch out

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