#She's a little whirlwind and I adore her. <3

[mead-iocre]

Ducky Turn! | Vivianne Miedema x Reader

You watched as Viv walked into the press conference room, trailing slightly behind Jonas. She was chatting animatedly to Connie, one of the Arsenal staff, and holding a reusable coffee tumbler in one hand. You also know that inside that tumbler is Viv’s favourite coffee "Morning Bliss," a small-batch, artisanal coffee roaster that you had bought from one of the local coffee shops in your area. She would sometimes bring a small bag of coffee beans to training or match days, and when you would ask her where she’ll find supplies to make the coffee, she’ll reply back with a“if there’s a will, there’s a way”. It’s become the only brand of coffee that Viv drinks.

Every morning, Viv likes to indulge herself in what she calls her “ritual”. The dutch begins her ritual by carefully measuring out the perfect amount of Morning Bliss beans. She prefers a medium roast, with notes of caramel and toasted almonds that allow the perfect balance of sweet to the bitter. She would grind the beans to perfection and then use the fancy sleek, stainless steel drip coffee maker that she had treated herself to a few months ago. As she waits for the brewing to complete, she would bask in the stillness and the quiet that is a rarity these days– or at least during the last 3 years. 

Viv would then pour herself a cup, inhaling deeply as the steam rises and the aroma fills the empty kitchen. As she takes that first sip of her perfectly brewed coffee, Viv could not help but smile. For her, starting the day than with a cup of her favourite coffee is the second best thing to start the day. The first is–

She hears the pitter patter of little feet before she sees her. 

“Mama!”

Evelyn, or Evie for short, is the best parts of you and Viv. Everyone says Evelyn is a spitting image of you—from the blonde curls that tumble down her back in unruly waves, to her vibrant hazel eyes, flecked with hints of green and gold. Evelyn has your nose, petite and slightly upturned, and dotted with the same freckles across her cheeks that Viv loves to kiss every night before bed. 

You say it’s too early to tell what kind of person your daughter will grow up to be, but you swear she’s Viv's mini me. They both have the same stubbornness (although Viv would argue you were also a contender), the same outgoing personality, and the same sheer curiosity for the world around her. Like you, your little girl is always eager to explore new places and try new things. Whether it's taking the dogs out on new hiking trails, or embarking on a family camping trip, her adventurous spirit knows no bounds.

During her ballet class, Evelyn loves to wear colourful ribbons and bows in her hair. She keeps the same ribbons in her hair during football practice too. When she laughs, her nose crinkles up in the most adorable way, just like Viv. She loves to burst into a song or hum the tune of her favourite music, just like you do. She is your pride and joy, and your greatest accomplishment in life.

But she is also a whirlwind of energy that leaves a trail of chaos and laughter in her wake wherever she goes.

Viv recognises that gleam in Evie’s eyes and the furrow in her eyebrows as she glances at the last two steps leading to the kitchen.

Her daughter was going to jump.

Viv hastily puts her cup down and lurches forward, catching the tornado that is her child. There is not a day that goes by where Viv does not thank her athleticism for being able to keep up with her little daredevil. 

She grasps her fearless little girl under her arms just before she can land the short distance to the ground. “Mama, Ducky jump!”

“I saw that, Ducky” She settles Evelyn on her hip, pressing a few kisses to her rosy cheek still warm from sleep. “But I’d rather not see that again. How many times have I told you you can’t jump from there”

“But I jump, Mama. Like a duck jumping in water!” Ducks are the little girl’s latest fixation– she loves going to the pond to watch the ducks, she loves to talk about ducks, she loves her duck stuffed animals etc. Viv thinks your daughter’s fascination with ducks was inevitable. When Evelyn was born, she was sweetly bundled in a light yellow blanket with a matching yellow beanie to warm her little head. Your private midwife briefly commented about how Evelyn little lips were constantly pursed in a pout whenever she slept, like that of a little duckling. Ever since then, “Ducky” became one of her nicknames.

Evelyn points one little chubby finger towards the kitchen counter where a plate of bite-sized waffles await her. 

“Waffles!” 

Viv snags the plate of waffles off the counter and deposits her duck-obsessed child into her booster chair. She hands her a fork and takes a seat on the chair right beside her. “Waffles yellow– like duckies, Mama!” 

Viv smiles endearingly at her daughter, all cherubic face and bouncy curls. “Just like duckies, Evie” 

——————————

Now at the press conference, you watch as Viv and Jonas take their seats in front of the press, politely saying a few greetings to some familiar faces. Viv’s eyes meet yours briefly and she offers you a quick wink. 

Jonas leans forward in his seat and starts the press. “Hello, everyone. Let’s get this started then– I’ve got Vivianne Miedema with me today”

Being married to a footballer had it’s perks– free match tickets, the cool events, club merchandise, and the occasional Adidas billboards of your wife which your daughter loves to excitedly point out every time she spots one. However, sometimes it seems not everyone understands the difference between the Viv, the mum and wife, versus Vivianne Miedema, the footballer. 

“Everyone” being your toddler. 

She still hasn’t fully grasped the fact that her Mama can’t be on her beck and call, especially while she is at work. At the age of 3, she can’t tell the difference between the football that she plays at school and the football that her Mama plays. To her, it’s exactly the same. 

After all, during her football practice if she looks to the sidelines where the other mummies and daddies are watching and yells for her Mama, her Mama will come running. In Evie’s mind, if she wants Mama, she’ll go to Mama. 

You glance down at the little girl tucked in your arms. She was all buzz and energy throughout the match, crawling from lap to lap, jumping, dancing and shouting. It was no surprise that she was starting to doze off now. You were standing off to one side of the room, leaning against the wall to support the weight resting on your front. Evie was curled up in your arms, her eyes tiredly blinking open and closed a few times. Her tiny body was limp in your arms, her breath was evening out, and just like when she first came into this world, her little rosy lips were formed into a pout.

Just like a little duckling.

But despite your soft whispers to try to and lull her to sleep, your stubborn child was determined to fight the pull of slumber. You knew she wanted to see her Mama, just as she always did after a match. It was their routine, and Evie hated breaking routines. 

“First question for Jonas…” You tune out the press for a brief moment, reaching out to adjust the yellow noise cancelling headphones that were slipping off of Evelyn’s head when all of a sudden she opens her eyes and sits up in your arms. You didn’t have to guess what had woken up your child when you hear it. “– now a question for Viv Miedema…”

What was once a sleepy and tired toddler is now gone. In it’s place is a little girl who has realised her favourite person is in the room. Her eyes were now bright and alert, craning her neck to follow the sound of her mama’s voice booming from the speakers around the room. 

“…don't really think I celebrate goals but all the girls came up to me and they were taking the mick out of me because they were like 'You were actually celebrating’–“

You should’ve anticipated it. You should’ve know it. But by then it was too late.

“Mama!” 

Your daughter yells for Viv, lurching forward with her arms open and fingers pointing towards where Viv was sitting at the front of the room. You had no choice but to crouch down so you could stead your suddenly wiggly child. 

“Ducky, that’s enough” You speak in a hushed but firm tone. You knew that if you were to use your “Mummy voice” it would likely result in tears, and your daughter was not a quiet crier. “Mama is working right now”

But Evie was very determined to get to her mama, hastily trying to tug away from your hold on her arm. You knew heads were turning towards the both of you.

“Want Mama!” 

“Evelyn–“ You try to hug her, wanting to pick her up and run out of the room before she causes anymore distractions. Right now she was the epitome of an incoming toddler tantrum. Her chest heaved with each shaky breath, her small shoulders rising and falling with the weight of her emotions. Her cheeks flushed pink with frustration, and her fists clenched at her sides. 

“No no no no!” Her favourite word as of late and she was proudly demonstrating that she knew just how to use it. "No NO!"

Her big, doe-like eyes were glistening with unshed tears. Her bottom lip quivered as she stood cocooned in your arms, but furiously squirming away from your hold. In your daughter’s mind, being told that she can’t go to her Mama right now was the most devastating thing in the world, and the injustice of it all was threatening to overwhelm her.

“–Liefje” 

You look up as the sound of your wife’s voice and the familiar nickname echos around the room through the microphone. You crane your neck and you spot her now standing up from her chair, holding the mic to her mouth. She gives you a knowing smile. Viv always knows what to do.

“I’ll take her, Liefje. Give her to me” Viv waves a hand, beckoning you both closer. 

You pick up your still teary, pouty daughter and hoist her up to your hip. You walk the short distance towards the front of the room where Viv and Jonas are waiting. 

“Looks like Mama wants you, ducky” You murmur softly in Evie’s ear, pushing the curls of hair away from her eyes. Like a switch, your daughter perks up in your arms, twisting her head towards where you were heading. You could feel her little legs kicking the air in excitement. What a mood switch. 

You stop by the side of the small stage, placing Evie on her feet and quickly grab her hairband that was in your pocket. “Wait one second, Ducky. Let’s fix your hair.” There were cameras around and you would imagine that 10 years from now, your daughter will never forgive you if you let her stand in front of the cameras with a bird nest on top of her head. 

The hairband dangled from your fingers as you attempted to tame Evie’s unruly locks into a neat ponytail. But your daughter was having none of it. She wriggled, clearly eager to get to her Mama, as she batted your hands away.

And like always, Viv knew just what to do to keep your daughter from fussing. Temporarily. “Hi Ducky”

“Mama!” Chuckles round the room when mother and daughter exchanged waves of greetings to each other as if they hadn’t seen each other for days when in reality it had only been a few hours. 

You sighed, a hint of amusement twinkling in your eyes as you gently combed through Evie’s hair with your fingers. “Almost done" you coaxed, your voice gentle and patient as you worked to wrangle your little girl’s wayward curls. You settled on just pushing the front pieces of hair away from her eyes with the hairband. “All done. Now you can go to Mama” 

Evie did not need to be told twice. 

Her little legs pumped furiously and her curly hair bounced behind her. She ran around the table, past Jonas’ chair, to where Viv was standing waiting for her. Viv swings her daughter up to her hip and you watch as Viv leans close to whisper by her ear– most likely prompting Evie to greet the journalists and cameras. Your suspicions were confirmed when your little social butterfly happily waves a hand and bellows a little “hello!”

Your smile widens when her greeting is echoed by all the journalists, some waving back just as eagerly as your toddler. 

Viv then proceeds to sit back down, placing Evie on her lap. Your wife adjusts her chair and shuffles closer to the mic. “Sorry for that everyone…” 

She gestures to the toddler who is currently conspiring with the Arsenal manager. “This one is going through a phase where I am her favourite person, and I’m making the most of it until she realises her Mummy is more fun than me” 

Laughter rings around the room, but all you give the grinning dutch at the table is an eye roll. You know Evie loves you, but her bond with Viv was something special. Evelyn is Viv’s little shadow. 

One of the journalists kindly gestures for you to take the seat next to him in front row of the table and you thank him as you take a seat. 

“Right then. Let’s continue…” Jonas starts the press again, and this time, your toddler is happily sitting on her Mama’s lap. 

———————————-

So far the press is continuing on as normal. Journalists are prepared with questions for Viv and Jonas. “My question is for Viv.” You crane your neck to see a journalists a few rows behind you hold a hand up. “You have broken countless records in England. Arsenal literally put you on a pedestal with a temporary statue outside the Emirates Stadium, a first for a female player. Do things like that matter?” Viv leans forward towards the mic. “No not at all. I’ve already had five great years but I indicated to the club that we have to do better. Other players have done that too. Hopefully the club can bring in some reinforcements this summer– 

“AH!” Evie leans up, her little head nearly clashing into her Mama’s chin if it weren’t for Viv’s reflexes, and speaks directly into the mic. She giggles when it echos back. 

You wince as the mic feedback rings loudly in the room. 

“–Ducky, this mic is not for you. Mama’s trying to answer the question” Viv whispers but it obviously gets caught by the microphone and broadcasted to the entire room. You press your lips together to conceal your giggle as you watch your wife attempt to coax your daughter into letting go of the mic stand. Unfortunately, it seems your daughter is very fixated on the microphone because she tries to grab for it again. 

But Viv is faster. She hauls Evie off her lap for a second, turning her around so she is facing Viv and not the mic. 

“Ducky turn!” Your daughter whines loudly. She is clearly displeased at being turned away from her new toy. She pouts, twisting her body back around, and points at the mic. “Ducky turn! Ducky turn!”

You never though you would say this, but maybe there are consequences in teaching your daughter how to share and take turns. 

And your wife seems to think the same. “Well…at least you all have proof that we are teaching her how to take turns properly” She chuckles endearingly at the pouty toddler on her lap. 

“Okay” Viv relents with a sigh. “Ducky gets a turn.” She lifts Evie and turns her back around so she is facing the rest of the room, the press, and her shiny new toy– the black microphone. 

You shake your head as you watch your wife visibly soften. Evie has Viv wrapped around her little finger from the day she was born. Viv is almost always unable to deny her daughter anything, even if she claims to be the more stricter parent out of the two of you. 

“Since it’s Ducky’s turn, why don’t you have a go at answering the questions then?” Viv pulls the chair closer towards the table so Evie can reach the mic more comfortably. She directs the question to everyone in the room, clearly giving the reporters permission to ask Evie some questions. 

Not a second later, a few hands are up in the air. You smile at the sight of these very professional reporters taking the time to entertain your daughter’s antics, no matter how silly they may be. 

Jonas playfully gasps and leans into his mic. “Wow Evie, look at that! So many people want to ask you questions” 

“What do you think, ducky?” Viv asks the grinning toddler in her lap. “Which question shall we take?”

Your daughter cutely scrunches her face in concentration, one chubby little finger tapping her lips as if she was contemplating the secrets of the universe. You watch as she scans her choices of eager hands, and then points to a man sitting by the front row. You watch as Evie lean up to whisper something to her Mama and then turns back around with a shy smile. 

“Evie will take a question from the man in the front row with the yellow tie” Of course, it’s the yellow tie. Anything yellow is guaranteed to win your daughter over.

“Hello Miss Evelyn. My question for you is: what did you think of your Mum scoring two goals today?”

You watch as Viv pulls the mic closer towards Evie, giving her a nod of support when your daughter turns to her for encouragement.

“Uh…” You cringe internally as your daughter presses her mouth as close to the mic as possible, practically gnawing on it, and the sound is magnified by the speakers. The press seem to take it to stride, a few coos of encouragement sounding around the room. “…I like duckies”

“Oh! That’s nice” Bless the journalist. You doubt that bit would make it to the final draft of the article. “Ducks are quite nice, aren’t they?”

Your daughter nods and hums into the mic, wriggling from her spot on your wife’s lap, clearly eager to talk more about her favourite subject. “Duckies yellow!”

You watch as the journalists couldn't help but be charmed by Evelyn’s enthusiasm, their professional demeanour melting away as they listened to your spirited little girl. Some even leaned in closer, eager to catch every word she says, the cameras capturing the moment.

“Ducks are yellow, clever girl! But let Mama have a turn now, please” You try to stifle your laughter behind your hand as Viv has to practically wrestle the mic away from Evie, grabbing both of her little hands in one of hers to settle the mischievous toddler. 

———————————————

Viv was more than happy to continue the rest of the press with her daughter in her lap, even if she has to routinely stop and grab a little hand as it beelines for the microphone. Viv lets Evie babble into the microphone a more few times and she couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride in her heart. She may be a footballer on the pitch, but her greatest joy was sitting right here in her lap, eager to share in her world, one stolen microphone at a time.

“Do you want to say anything to Mummy?” Viv points you out for your daughter to see. It was already nearing the end of the press conference. "Anything to say to Mummy before we finish?”

Your daughter thinks for a moment, her face titling to the side and her nose adorably scrunching up in concentration. Thinking about what to say to your Mummy is a very big task for a 3 year old. The room goes silent as everyone waits with baited breath. 

“…I- I love you, Mummy” 

Hey, my loves!

It's been while since I posted and that's mainly due to life getting in the way + not being inspired to write. By some miracle, I somehow managed to finish writing this short little fic (featuring a different player this time– surprise!). This was inspired by seeing that cute video of Alex Morgan and her daughter doing post-match interviews lol

hopefully this will only motivate me to keep on writing.

I appreciate all of you, thanks for being patient

-- butter

[dovveri]

the right reasons

bachelorette masterlist - part 1 ▸ part 2 ▸ part 3 ▸ part 4 ▸ part 5 ▸ part 7

synopsis: final stretch of the season. home visits.

warnings: implied sex

w/c: 3.4k

a/n: apologies for late update i have been laid on my literal deathbed with sickness and the brain juices have basically run out for this series so this is a short update to get them flowing again and hopefully i can wrap it up soon 🙏 ty for the support as always!

‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅

the next few days are hectic with house visits. because of the contract you had both signed, and the fact that the entire nation has been invested with sana's journey to find love, it was a given that sana wouldn't be able to just drop out of show. that didn't mean she didn't try, in fact you had to pull her back from calling all the lawyers in the district to break her contract, insisting that it was fine to see the show through and that you were going to be there for her no matter what. it took a few more assurances, and a couple rounds of sex, kisses, and promised cuddles before she reluctantly agreed to continue filming the upcoming home visits.

jiwon's family was first. you had both met her younger siblings and her several nieces and nephews that were very young. they were all very sweet and it was adorable watching jiwon entertain the young ones.

fortunately, the classic 'father figure that gives the intruder the i'll kill you if you hurt her speech' wasn't present because it seemed jiwon served as that person for her younger siblings. though her younger sister was a little skeptical at first, she easily warmed up when she saw how great sana was with her kids.

sana and jiwon wrapped up the night with a private talk, one which sana didn't share with you, but you were learning to trust her, even though it still looked like she was dating 4 people and soon to choose the love of her life, you had to trust that it was going to be you after it all ended.

jacky's family was next except since most of his family was back in australia, you actually just had a nice dinner at jacky's apartment with eunji who jacky had nominated as his family stand-in. you had apologised profusely to eunji for not being a better friend and not being there for her on the night she was eliminated but she laughed at you and rolled her eyes, saying it was completely fine. she was also friendly with sana who was a little anxious seeing her again so soon after practically rejecting her on national television, but eunji was extremely cool, and they got along even better as friends.

if you ignored the cameras set up everywhere and the producers running in and out, it was a pretty normal night between 4 friends. you had enjoyed dinner made by both jacky and eunji, drunk soju, sung bad karaoke on jacky's home-installed karaoke television set, and played nintendo switch games all night.

in typical bachelor fashion, jacky and sana also had their own private talk on the balcony towards the end of the night, although it was a little silly watching the producers and camera crew figure out how to film it because it was a small apartment, meant only for jacky to live in, so the balcony was basically right outside the living room where you and eunji had stayed, trying not to look outside and give them their privacy while they were having their mandated talk.

then, the crew had surprised everyone with a flight to japan for momo's home visit. momo had greeted all of you at the airport in a traditional kimono and one ready for sana as well. sana had teared up seeing her and being in her country of birth again. the next few hours were a whirlwind as momo and her sister hana took you all for a tour of their home city, stopping by all the essential places to eat, take pictures at, and had even brought you to momo's old dance studio where they had readied a performance just for sana. the producers were very happy with the amount of content they were getting as you explored the city.

you could tell sana absolutely loved this date. the amount of planning momo put into it showed how much she wanted to impress sana, and how much she understood her homesickness and her love for her birth country. it was hard to be jealous of momo getting most of sana's attention during the date when sana was on the verge of tears at every new sight, sound, and feeling. and momo was a sweetheart anyway, always being inclusive of everyone, making sure she was there if anyone needed translation or help with anything, you adored her as a friend, grateful that she was able to provide this experience for sana during the stressful filming season it's been.

you ended the day at momo's house. you met her parents and although you were a little intimidated by her dad's buff physique, he turned out to be a big teddy bear who supported his daughter more than anything. both her parents were glad to be able to converse with sana in their native language, and easily warmed up to her because of the fact that she was japanese and communication was made a lot easier. you spent a lot of the dinner just watching them, only catching hints of their conversation from your select knowledge about the japanese language, but momo noticed eventually and tried to translate as much as she could which you appreciated very much.

it was only a little awkward when momo and sana went for their end of the night chat and you had to sit with momo's family attempting to make small talk with your broken japanese. it turned out okay when momo's mom smiled sweetly and brought out dessert, turning on the television and flicking to an episode of the bachelorette with japanese subtitles. it turned out to be the episode that heechul had tried to rizz up momo and sana using his almost offensive japanese, and you were all able to laugh as you tried to explain using gestures and your best attempt at charades exactly what type of man heechul was behind the scenes.

although japan and korea weren't far, the crew had let you had some time off in japan and granted a day off after filming the dinner with momo's family so that sana could go home and see her family as well. so that night you had taken the bullet train from kyoto to osaka and sana had held your hand, leaning into you as she talked through her childhood stories softly. it felt like it was just the two of you against the rest of the world.

the next day sana was positively glowing. she practically skipped around you in circles while she took you around her home town. it was clear she was loved and missed in the neighbourhood. sweet old ladies and old friends were stopping her everywhere, asking how she was, if she was going to move back to japan soon, everyone wanted a piece of her.

you had dinner with sana's parents who you'd met already when they flew to korea for sana's graduation. although there was still the language barrier, it was easily overcome when sana's mom started showing you albums of sana's baby pictures and pictures of her throughout her childhood.

sana had squealed adorably, trying to cover up her baby pictures and chasing you around the house while you yelled out comments while rapidly flipping through the pictures before she could catch you.

you ended the night collapsed on sana's bed in her childhood room, cuddled into each other. you never really decorated your room when you were younger, too repressed and focused on your studies to ever find the time or worth in doing so. but seeing sana's walls plastered with old japanese anime posters, idols, her ceiling dotted with glow-in-the-dark stars, and pictures of her friends and family everywhere, you can't help but yearn for the childhood you could've had if you had tore away from the books for a little bit.

you're both laid supine on the bed, looking at the imitation night sky sana has in her room, little do you know sana's gaze is focused on you instead.

"y/n?"

"hmm?"

"thank you for being here."

"are you kidding? i wouldn't be anywhere else in the world right now. plus we just got a free trip to japan, life couldn't be any better. i should be thanking you."

sana giggles and fully turns her body, facing you and draping an arm over your stomach. you have your arm under her neck, supporting it while she nuzzles into you.

when she starts playing with the bottom of your shirt, sneaky fingers sliding up and under it, you squeeze out a warning, "sana... your parents are literally next door."

you can feel her smirk against your neck as she starts leaving light kisses along it, and you're helpless, lifting your head slightly to give her better access.

she hums against you, "you can be quiet can't you?"

you make a muffled sound of protest, "your childhood idols and plushies are watching us right now."

you can't see it but sana rolls her eyes, continuing her way up your neck, "i lived out my teen years in here. you think they haven't seen me get off?"

you squirm at the thought, the image of sana under her sheets, trying to keep quiet while she touched herself to whatever fantasies she had at the time.

"you're thinking about it aren't you? how i looked- coming home after school- do you have a school uniform kink y/n? that's slightly concerning y'know?" she leaves a hot trail of dangerous kisses up your throat with each phrase, intent on driving you absolutely crazy.

"n-no!"

"mm okay." then her lips are on yours and really, you should know better than to alert her parents of your sexual proclivities but when sana's licking into you like that you can't blame yourself for not being able to think straight.

‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅

the final date is of course, with jihyo back in korea.

you were nervous walking in through the front door, the sight of jihyo's parents and her sisters, all familiar faces from when sana and jihyo used to host parties and get-togethers for the various holidays of the year.

fortunately, jihyo's parents and rest of her family were sweet enough to welcome the both of you with open arms. as if the breakup never happened. you gripped sana's hand tightly knowing she was probably going through a hellstorm of emotions right now, being in an environment that reminded her of the brokenness jihyo left her with.

what you did not expect was jihyo's ex-boyfriend to also be at the dining table, all smiles and big buff arms.

sana's hand tightened around yours at the sight of him, her eyes quickly flashing to jihyo with a mixture of hurt and disbelief. jihyo avoids her gaze, sitting down next to her ex-boyfriend instead.

you hear sana take a deep breath, composing herself before the cameras and smiling, you can see straight through it though, keeping her hand in yours when you take your seats at the table, glaring daggers at both jihyo and her ex.

it's clear the tension around the table is present.

jihyo's mom clears her throat, attempting to strike up a conversation, "so sana... it's been a while since we've seen you. what have you been up to?"

sana smiles politely, "well this entire show has been a pretty big thing lately. although i will say i was very surprised to see jihyo there on opening night. not as surprised as i am to see your ex-boyfriend here though." sana directs towards jihyo, a little harshly, stabbing her food with her fork.

"sungbin. it's nice to meet you." sungbin offers a polite nod, but keeps mostly to himself.

"sungbin is my best friend. i thought if y/n could go on this whole experience with you then it wouldn't be a problem if i brought my best friend along." her tone is cutting, like she knows something you don't. "besides... my family's already met you and given you their approval. i thought the whole point of home visits was to get to know people close to me and see if they like you?"

sana shuffles a little in her seat, her grip on you tightens. "right."

the table falls silent again, only the sounds of cutlery scrapping against plates able to be heard.

it's more than awkward and you can see the producers talking worriedly with each other, coming up with any ways to make this more entertaining.

it's jihyo's dad that clears his throat this time, "so sana... do you think you've found your 'one' on this show? i know jihyo is a contestant on your show but know we still care about you and want the best for you, even if that's not our daughter." he smiles kindly, while his wife pecks him on the cheek for his sweet words.

"dad!" jihyo startles.

"what? just because you decided to break up with sana doesn't mean we wanted to let go of her."

"yeah sungbin isn't nearly as good as you at super mario bros even with all those muscles." jihyo's youngest sister chimes in with a laugh, lightening the mood easily as you slip into old conversations and reminiscing better times. you can see the producers visibly relaxing as conversation starts flowing, but jihyo is still tense, unable to look at anyone except sungbin in the eye.

eventually the night leads you into board games with the family while sana takes jihyo outside to talk. you give her a reassuring look before she heads outside, sungbin gives you a strange glance but you don't bother paying him any attention. regardless of his presence, he was still a stranger to you.

you're celebrating your third pass by the go slot in monopoly when the argument outside starts to get louder and louder, able to be heard from inside the house.

"why would you bring him here!?"

"what do you mean why? don't tell me you haven't been sneaking around with y/n this entire time! you haven't even given this show a chance have you?! you haven't given us a chance!"

"jihyo i told you last time that we are over! we have been over for over a year now!"

"i apologised for that okay! i just thought- i didn't think you'd be the type of person to go on this show for the wrong reasons sana."

"what- what wrong reasons?!"

"you're not here to find love! you've had it! even when we were dating i always thought it was kinda weird how close you and y/n were!"

"what- what are you talking about jihyo?!"

"you know damn well what i'm talking about."

"i don't."

"the fact that you've been in love with y/n since way before we were dating sana."

"wh- what?!"

"yeah. i figured if you're not taking this experience seriously than i give you a taste of your own medicine. that's why i invited sungbin tonight. everyone talks about people only coming on these reality shows for their 15 minutes of fame, i didn't peg you to be one of them sana."

"i am taking this seriously! how can you tell me anything about what i've been doing when you've had tunnel vision this entire time? you've only been focused on trying to get me back after i already told you that we're over!"

"if you are taking this seriously then tell me you don't have feelings for y/n. tell me you're going to end up with one of the final four, it doesn't have to be me, but don't you think you owe it to the others who have been trying so hard to impress you this entire time to give it your all?"

"i- that's not for you to decide jihyo."

"you can't say it can you?"

there's silence for a bit, the muffled sound of sniffling. you can't help but feel like you're intruding, and the fact that everything was being filmed and recorded right now made it even worse.

you quietly slip out of board games night and head towards the producers.

"you're going to cut that out right?"

"sorry?"

"their conversation. you'll cut it out?"

"excuse me, who do you think you are?"

"sana's best friend. who cares about her and her national reputation as korea's most eligible bachelorette."

the producer sighs exasperatedly, "we'll see what we do in the final edits. no promises." he rolls his eyes and pushes past you to go talk to the camera directors.

you hurridely go outside to see sana sitting on the balcony, her head in her hands, jihyo looking out across the balcony.

"sana?"

they both turn to you, jihyo rolls her eyes predictably, scoffing and moving past you back inside. you take the opportunity to step outside and close the door behind you.

"sana sweetheart..."

sana's eyes are watery, barely concealed emotions rampant across her face.

"cameras." she gestures weakly around the balcony where cameras and microphones are still set up.

"let's go home then."

she takes a breath, nodding slightly and taking your outstretched hand, you squeeze it reassuringly, leading her out of the house and offering your goodbyes to jihyo's family.

rather than take the driver back to the bachelorette pad, you insist on driving and giving the driver the rest of the night off. that way, you can at least ensure the both of you aren't under the watchful eye of producers looking to make a buck off sana's misfortune for entertainment.

it also helps that you can take a detour and head to a late night ice-cream parlour you and sana used to go to all the time as college students.

you grin when you see sana's expression immediately brighten when you pull up into familiar streets.

"where are we going y/n?"

"somewhere as sweet as you."

"ice-cream?"

"mhm."

she squeals happily, hugging you and you try your best to return it with a laugh while you keep your eyes on the road.

you park and walk into the ice-cream parlour hand in hand.

sana beams when she walks in, excited to taste test all the flavours despite always getting the same thing every time. you let her be childish again to forget all the things jihyo's said to her.

once she's tasted everything you order your usual white crumble pistachio and strawberry yoghurt for sana.

as always, she has to try some of yours and you must try some of hers because she's tried yours so it's only fair. except this time she leans in to kiss you, the flavours mixing on your tongues, a sweet kiss with no cameras or pressure, a moment just for the two of you.

after you're both finished with your cones, she leans into you, placing her head on your shoulder.

"about what jihyo said..."

"it's okay sana. you don't have to explain anything. i shouldn't have been eavesdropping anyway."

she snorts, "well i mean- it's going to be broadcast nationally anyway."

"maybe not. producers said they'll take it into consideration."

"mm. i haven't- i don't-"

you let her think, placing an arm around her shoulder comfortingly, letting her come up with the words in her own time.

"i love you. i told you that already. i don't know for how long- maybe jihyo's right and maybe i've always loved you. that doesn't mean that- it doesn't meant that i haven't put my all into this right?"

"of course not sweetie. i don't know if it was the same for you but i didn't even realise i had romantic feelings for you until during this. in the beginning, i was completely focused on finding the person that would be right for you. and i think you were too. it just so happened that halfway through, we started- well i realised that you were it for me." you turn to face her gently, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear and caressing her cheek.

she rubs her nose against yours softly with a smile, "you're it for me too. i'll figure out how to get through the rest of the season, but i think jihyo's right in that i have to start being honest with the rest of the contestants. none of them deserve to be led on like this."

"i'm sorry i kinda fucked up this whole show for you."

she pecks you chastely, "silly... we wouldn't be here together or have realised our feelings for each other if this didn't happen right? we just have to be selfish for a little more."

you sigh against her, bringing her into a proper kiss, lips trying to convey just how much you felt for her.

[souliebird]

[[and then I met you || ch. 5]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to protect his new family from not only Hell's Kitchen but from the world.

pt: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

words: 4.4k

It has been one week since you saw Matt Murdock on the evening news, and it feels like it has been a complete whirlwind. First, you reintroduced yourself to him and let him know he was a father, then you had a nice little outing, and to tie it all up, a trip to the doctors to confirm what you already knew. 

Matthew Murdock is the father of your daughter.

It is nice to have an official statement from a doctor and now you can start the process of changing Minnie's paperwork to include his name. You have to go to the courthouse to file for an updated birth certificate. Matt has very kindly offered to take that task on for you - he goes to the courthouse often for his job and he knows the ins-and-outs of navigating legal paperwork. You just have to go and drop off the right documentation. 

You had a brief call last night, after Minnie had been put down, and decided that you would visit his office today to do just that. You are going to kill two birds with one stone - hand over what needs to be filed and give Matt more time with his daughter. 

To your great surprise, your timid little Mouse absolutely adores him. She was not happy to have to be at the doctor's office yesterday and was on the verge of tears before he showed up. Her whole mood shifted, and she had spent the brief time you were in the waiting room and exam room telling Matt about different things around them. 

You have a feeling, when you sit down and tell her the truth, she is going to be thrilled. 

You told her that you are going to visit Matt at work today, and all morning she has been hunched over her sketchbook making pictures for him while you try to get in some hours at work. Try being the key word, as you've been thoroughly distracted by today's news cycle. 

You were half listening to a puff piece about something or other when breaking news flashed across the screen. A neighborhood in Connecticut has been leveled by some sort of explosion, killing hundreds. They don't know if it was an accident or some sort of attack - the epicenter of the blast was a school, so it could potentially be either. You pray it was a freak accident, some faulty pipeline or a weird meteor, because the world doesn't need any more horribleness in it. 

The idea that it might have been an attack makes you nervous. You've been through two horrible attacks on New York, and you didn't realize another big event so close to home would shake you so hard. 

It scares you that you have to raise Minnie in such a harsh world, where monsters of all kinds are very very real and you don't know who you can rely on. The police and government have been shown to be all kinds of corrupt and people who can shoot laser beams fight each other in the skies. 

You end up clocking out and going to sit with Minnie to get yourself to stop your doom-listening. She's got a few drawings scattered around the table and you pick up the one closest to you, smiling at her handy work. 

You recognize the shapes as her interpretation of people - oblongs with stick arms and noodle legs. Unknowingly, she's made her first new family portrait. There are three blob-people all holding hands: you suspect you're the big orange one with a smile, Minnie is the little pink one in the middle with what you guess are pigtails, and Matt is the black one with red eyes, who is also holding a stick. To confirm, you ask her.

"Is this one Mister Matt?"

Her head shoots up and a big grin spreads across her face, "Yeah!  And that's you and that's me and we're gonna go to the zoo!" There is a little flurry of motion and suddenly you are getting a picture show. She holds up the paper she was working on - there's another family drawing, but this time there's green scribbles all around you and a blue square with zig zags all over it. You guess that is some sort of animal. 

"You want to go to the zoo with Mister Matt?" You ask, examining her masterpiece.

"Yeah!" She says, pulling over another picture that you know are her versions of flowers, even if they are all different colors. "And the park!"

"And the park? Wow, that's a lot of things to do. Do you want to ask him if he wants to go to the zoo with us when we see him today?" Minnie eagerly nods at the question and that makes you smile. "Okay, we can invite him to the zoo. When are we going to the zoo?"

The question makes her bounce in excitement, "My birthday!" 

You laugh at her enthusiasm and give her a little back rub, "Exactly. We're going to go for your birthday. And get a big cake with whatever you want on it." That makes her a giggly mess and you temporarily forget all the bad things in the world. 

You hand her back her drawing before kissing the top of her hair, "How about you finish this one up and we get ready to go see Mister Matt? We can only visit for a little bit, because he's working, but I bet he'll love everything you made him."

Greedy little hands take back the paper and instantly Mouse is hunched back over her zoo scene, purple crayon in hand. You get up and go to make sure that you have everything you need to bring to Matt in order. You are extremely lucky that the doctor has the ability to print out things in Braille, so you don't need to make an extra stop to get things translated. 

You debate bringing Matt lunch, but ultimately decide against it. You don't want to push too much too fast, and you think it might be a little weird for his coworkers, to see a random person bring him homemade lunch. You know he hasn't told anyone yet about yourself and Minnie - he had shyly admitted it didn't feel real until the test results were given and you completely get it. 

You tidy up until you spy Mouse dropping her crayons into her bucket and cleaning up her drawing area. You let her do her thing, then approach, "Let's put your drawings with the other things we need to give Mister Matt. That way they won't get lost or wrinkled."

She nods like you've just said something very wise and gathers up her stack of papers before handing them over. There's five in total; the three she showed you and two more full of colorful lines. You decide you'll listen in on her explanation to Matt on those two, as you're curious as to what goes on in her little mind. 

Once everything is safe and ready to go, it's just a matter of getting shoes on. You go with your sensible sneakers while Minnie opts for her frog themed Wellingtons. The plan is for both of you to walk to the office, and after one final wallet-keys-phone check in your purse, you head out hand-in-hand.

It's mid-morning, so foot traffic is decent, but not heavy - nothing that makes Minnie too uncomfortable. Dark clouds are gathering on the horizon, and it makes you wonder if the rain that has been promised in the forecast will be coming sooner than expected and you are glad this outing is the only one you have planned. Taking Minnie around in the rain is never fun. It always seems like everything becomes more bustling in the rain and trying to navigate that with a crying toddler just makes you want to cry as well. 

But the promise of her new favorite person and mild weather has her walking like the born and bred New Yorker she is - a determined little pout with no nonsense steps. No one will be trying to sell her things on the sidewalks once she gets bigger. If she had a different personality, you'd want to teach her to say "Hey, I'm walking here" just to hear a toddler say it. 

As you spy the building Matt's office is in, you realize you should have sent him a text to say you were on your way. You did let him know vaguely what time you planned to stop by and he had assured you that they had no appointments - it was catch up on paperwork day - but that didn't mean walk-in clients hadn't come by. You're so close to already being there that you think the gesture is pointless, so you just keep walking until you get to the building.

"This is where we are going," you tell Minnie as you approach. You scoop her up to show her the business directory on the outside of the building. There aren't very many plaques to begin with, so it's easy to find the Nelson, Murdock, and Page one. "That is where Mister Matt works with his friends."

She leans out and feels over the embossed sign, running her fingers over the different letters. "'M'! For Minnie!" She says, pointing out the letter with a big smile. 

"Exactly. Mister Matt's last name starts with M, too. That word is his last name - Murdock."

That gets her to turn back to the sign, fingers dancing over the letters, brows knitting with curiosity, "How is it spelled?"

You spell out Murdock for her and Minnie repeats each letter after you. You do this a few times until she's able to say it out loud on her own. You don't know how long she'll retain the information, as spelling isn't really on the board yet, but you're happy she's interested. You set her back down and she makes a beeline up the steps, grabbing and pulling at the door with all her three-year-old strength. 

The lobby to the building is sparse, with basically only an elevator and staircase, with a door to what you suspect is a supply closet. "We're going up two staircases," you tell your daughter. 

"Two!" She confirms before taking off towards the stairs. You have a brief moment of panic that she's going to zip up both sets faster than you can catch her, but to your great amusement, she grabs a hold of the banister with both hands and pretends to use it like a mountaineering rope to climb the stairs. She even adds little fake huffs and puffs. You follow behind her, ready to catch her if she slips. She doesn't, and when you get to the floor Matt's office is on, she turns to beam at you, clearly proud of herself, "We did it!"

"We did it," you parrot, offering out your hand again. She takes it and you lead her to the correct door. The same plaque that was on the exterior of the building also hangs beside their door and Minnie astutely points to it.

"Murdock!" 

"That's right, it says Nelson, Murdock, and Page."

"Can I knock?" Mouse asks, raising her fist to do just that.

You hum, then gently explain, "This is business, which means work. For work, we don't have to knock. We can go in if it is open."

As soon as you say that she's opening the door and marching inside and you quickly follow her. 

Matt's law partners, Foggy and Karen, are in the reception area with a man you assume is a client of theirs, talking in hushed annoyed sounding whispers. He radiates intimidation, with a huge black eye and what looks to be a makeshift cast made of duct tape around his right wrist. The three of them turn to look at you and you get the sense Minnie had the right idea in asking if she should knock first. 

Your little one quickly latches onto your leg, turning timid in the space of a second and you can't really blame her. Part of you wants to turn and run. 

Karen recovers first, breaking away from the two exasperated men to step towards you and going into receptionist mode, "Hi. You were here last week to meet with Matt, right?" 

"Uh, yes, that's right. Is he, uh, available?" You ask, feeling like you no longer know how to speak English. The energy in the room is not a pleasant one and you very much feel like you've interrupted something important.

"He's on a call currently but I'll let him know you are here," Karen replies in a voice far kinder than what she uses to address the men behind her a beat later. She turns to them and points to the office you know is not Matt's. "In there. Now."

Foggy throws up his hands, like he's frustrated with whatever is going on and disappears into the other room. The man you don't know doesn't follow, eyes on you and your daughter as Karen crosses the room to knock on Matt's door before opening it and slipping into the office. You quickly decide you are not going to make eye contact with him, instead ducking your head and putting a comforting hand on Minnie's head. She's practically hidden herself behind your legs, clinging to your pants so tightly you fear they might rip.

"I like your boots," the man says into the quietness. You expect him to sound like gravel, but his gruff voice is rather soft, and you get the feeling he understands how to talk to children "My daughter used to have boots like those."

 Part of you wants to tell the man to not talk to your daughter, but that would be rude and just because he looks like he's been through the ringer doesn't mean he's a bad man. You decide to let her determine how she wants to proceed.

You feel Minnie poke her head out from where she's hidden herself. At first, you don't think she's going to reply, as you know how she is, but she surprises you yet again by mumbling out, "They're froggies." 

"Yeah? You like frogs?"

Mouse somehow tightens her grip, "I like animals." She presses her face against your leg, then admits, a little louder, "we're gonna to the zoo for my birthday."

That makes the man smile, and that changes his whole demeanor. Suddenly he looks friendly and kind and not like he's likely to stab you, "That's a good place to go for your birthday. How old are you gonna be?"

Before she can respond, the door to Matt's office swings open and Karen stalks out, followed by Matt, who seems much less agitated than everyone else. The blonde points to the unknown man, a little scowl on her face, "What did I say?"

The man holds up his hands defensively, stepping away from Karen and towards the office he was previously told to go in, "Alright, alright, I'm going. I'm going." That doesn't seem to help soothe her at all, as she grabs the man by the bicep and frog-marches him to join Foggy, closing the door behind them. 

"They didn't make you wait long, did they?" Matt asks, bringing your attention back to him. There is a cut on his lip that wasn't there the last time you saw him, and your instinct is to ask if he is okay, but you don't know if you are at that level with him yet.

So instead, you address his question, "No, no, we just got here."

He motions back to his office, a smile spreading across his face, and you almost forget about the cut, "Come on back and we can review everything." 

Minnie lets go of your pants only to take your hand again and you lead her into the other room. As you pass Matt, she looks up at him and gives a tiny wave.

"Hi, Mister Matt."

Matt's shoulders visibly relax at her greeting, and you can't help but start to smile, "Hi, sweetheart. How are you doing today?"

"Good! I maded you pictures," she says proudly. That causes him to pause as he starts to follow you into his office. You can tell he is surprised by the news - his voice gets a little choked up when he responds.

"You made me some pictures?"

"They are very good pictures," you advise, squeezing Minnie's hand slightly before letting go, "Do you want to tell Mister Matt what you drew for him?" She nods eagerly, so you point to one of the chairs in front of his desk. "Go sit like a big girl and you can tell him."

She makes a dash for the chair, and you take the time to address Matt, "I'm sorry, I should have called ahead."

He shakes his head, and as he walks past you to go behind the desk, he reaches out and brushes his hand along your arm. A little shiver runs up your spine at the touch and you tell yourself the action was so he could orient himself. "Not a problem, I knew you were coming. How is everything?"

"Everything is good," you reply, a little shyer than you intend to. "I, uh, have everything for you. Is there anything else I need to fill out?"

Matt shakes his head, "Just a signature and date. You've done all the work for me already. I don't think I've ever had to file where I don't need to actually do anything but sign the document. It's a refreshing change."

"Do you know how long it will take to process?" You ask as you move to join Minnie in sitting. "The website gave multiple timelines and I just want to be realistic."

Matt takes his seat with a cocky grin, "Not long at all, I know a few judges I can ask to push it through."

You flush at the idea of him asking a favor to a judge on your account, "That's not necessary, Matt, I don't mind waiting."

He shakes his head, getting that soft look again, "I don't want to wait. I want it to be official in the eyes of the government."  

His words make you feel even warmer, and you distract yourself by pulling the file with all the paperwork out of your purse and pass it over to him. "Minnie's additions are at the bottom of the stack. The last five pages"

His fingers twitch slightly, and you wonder if he wants to flip right to those. You get your answer quickly.

"Minnie, is it okay if I go over the paperwork with your mom before you tell me about your pictures?"

"It's okay!" She replies, her voice much more cheerful now that you are alone with Matt. "Do you needs help?"

Her sweetness makes Matt smile more and he shakes his head, "Not right now, sweetheart. I need to read, and I can do that with my fingers, but after that you can help with some other things."

"Okay," she says happily, kicking her feet a little bit.

You catch her attention and motion to your purse, "Do you want a toy while you wait?" 

She shakes her head and beams up at you, "No thank you, I'm a big girl!"

Both you and Matt chuckle at her declaration and he moves to open the file. 

"There's multiple copies of everything," you tell him as you move onto business, "One printed text and one in Braille for the courts and the same for you. I have the same at home, as well. They are bundled in packets. The court papers are on top, Braille first."

He thanks you then begins to read the forms. Mouse sits up straighter in her chair to try and see what he is doing. She can just peek over the edge, and she watches in fascination as his fingers move over the pages. You wait quietly, not wanting to distract in any way. 

"Everything appears to be in order. We will just need a signature," Matt says after a minute. 

"Should I do that now?" You ask. The response is him offering you a pen, so you lean in to sign the various forms. As you set each document aside, Matt adds his own signature. It is silly how giddy you feel just having the forms finally completed. You don't know how long you've had just blank copies, waiting to be filed. 

"And done," Matt says with a final flick of his pen on the last page. "I'm going to the courthouse on Tuesday, so I'll get it processed then. I'll push to get an updated certificate as quickly as possible."

You have to bite your lip to keep from smiling like a crazy person. This isn't some dream or far off fantasy. Matt isn't just saying he wants to be Minnie's father. He is following through, with urgency. This is something he wants and it's almost surreal for you - you are so used to promises being broken and no one being on the same page as you in your desires. Even if this is all for Minnie and not for you, it is still on the edge of overwhelming for you. 

You never thought you'd be so happy over paperwork. 

"Thank you, Matt," you whisper, leaning back into your seat to sit properly.

Immediately, Minnie parrots you, thanking Matt even though she has no idea what is going on.

"No, thank you. Thank you both," he says, and you wonder if he is also holding back from smiling. He gathers the papers and sets them aside before running his fingers over the folder you gave him and addressing his daughter. "Okay, sweetheart. Do you want to come tell me what you drew?" 

You expect Minnie to stand on the chair and even prepare yourself to balance her, but that does not happen. She hops down and scurries around the desk to be at Matt's side and a moment later, he is pushing his chair back and she is climbing up into his lap. Embarrassment rushes through you - she's only ever behaved like this with you. She actually used to fuss and cry if anyone else tried to hold her. You haven't seen her sit in anyone else's lap since she had a say in who gets to hold her.

"Minnie!" You scold but Matt quickly shakes his head as he helps her up.

"It's okay, I don't mind," he tells you even though he looks completely shocked. If he wasn't her father, you wouldn't allow this, especially with someone so new to her, but he is her father, even if she doesn't know, so you don't tell her to get down.

Instead, you give a stern frown, "Minnie, you still need to ask before climbing on anyone, okay? Can you apologize?" 

Your little girl nods, then looks up at him, "I'm sorry, Mister Matt."

"It's okay, sweetheart. Like I said, I don't mind, but your Mommy is right, and you should ask so I know you are there. Next time, you'll know. Now, your Mommy said there were five pictures. Which do you want to start with?" He asks, scooting his chair back to the desk while wrapping one arm around Minnie's waist to keep her secure. 

Once she's able to, she leans in and picks up the first drawing in the stack. It is the family portrait, and you quickly get your phone out so you can record this interaction as Minnie lays out the picture. She then takes Matt's free hand and guides it to the paper before letting go to point at the circle that represents him.

"This is you," she tells him. He quickly finds where she is pointing and begins to trace the figure. 

"That's me?" And there is definitely more than a little bit of emotion in his voice. 

"Uh-huh, and that is me and Mommy and we're gonna go to see the duckies. Mommy said we can go again. But we're gonna get ice cream too. And a balloon," she says, moving her little finger all over the page. 

You watch Matt's finger follow hers - first over the doodle of himself, then Minnie's, and finally yours. Then, he traces back to the center figure. "We're holding hands?" He asks tentatively.

"Yup!" She answers, popping the p. "Mommy says we gotta hold hands if we go outside." 

Matt licks his lips a little and you see his muscles flex under his jacket as he holds Minnie a little more firmly to his chest, like he doesn't want to let go of her. "That's a good rule." 

"Mommy makes good rules," your little one replies wisely. That makes your ego sing a little. Mouse has always been good at doing what she's told, and you are proud that she understands your rules keep her safe.

Before she moves onto the next picture, you gently prompt her. "Sweetie, was there something you wanted to ask Mister Matt?"

Matt's head jerks up at that, looking right to you with brows slightly knit. Minnie bounces in his lap just a little, squirming so she can turn to look up at him, "I'm gonna go to the zoo! For my birthday! Do you wanna go?"

His lips part in surprise at the question and before you know it, he has both his arms wrapped around Mouse, hugging her to him. She instantly responds, looping her little arms around his neck and squeezing back. He rests his cheek against her head, and you see him slightly rock her from side to side. "I would love to go with you to the zoo, sweetheart."

Minnie giggles into his neck and you one hundred percent know that the transition to suddenly having two parents is not going to be hard for her at all. It might be confusing because Matt won't be living with you, but you have never seen her so comfortable with someone who isn't you. You know it's not just because he gave her a toy. They just click together so well.

You switch from video to your camera so you can sneak as many pictures as you can of Matt and Minnie hugging. They've completely forgotten about you and that is a-okay. 

In this moment, nothing else matters to you - not the strange man in the other office or the devastation a few states over or all the other trivial things that nag you and make your stomach turn. 

Your world is right in front of you and for the first time in a very, very long time, you really, truly believe everything is going to be just fine. 

@midnightreids @cloudroomblog @yeonalie @thychuvaluswife 

@dorothleah @mattmurdocksstarlight @mars-on-vinyl @mywellspringoflife @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @simmilarly @soupyspence @darkened-writer @akila-twt

@murc0ckmurc0ck @groovycass @sumo-b98 @just3rowsing @tongueofcat @zoom1374

@theclassicvinyldragon @aoi-targaryen @lunaticgurly @nikitawolfxo @shireentapestry @snakevyro @yondiii @echos-muses @honeybug-victoria @the-bisaster @ristare @mrs-bellingham @eugene-emt-roe @cometenthusiast @stevenknightmarc @hunnybelha @

Specialagentjackbauer @yarrystyleeza @ofmusesandsecrets 

@mayp11-blog @danzer8705 @thinking-at-dusk @remuslupinwifee @akila-twt  @mattmurdocks6thscaleapartment

[stevesherdaddynowlover]

If you still wanna write about Steve how about him and reader babysitting on a neighbors kid and it’s still very early in their relationship (or not lmao up to you) but it’s just adorable and kinda like playing house? Let the babysitter babysit 😌

practice makes perfect [s.h.]

an: ohhhhhhh i loved this bad. you’re a genius. i hope you enjoy!!! feel free to send requests/suggestions whenever

no warnings just fluff! wc: 2.5k

masterlist here!!!!

The relationship you had with Steve bloomed quickly. You went from strangers to friends to lovers in the span of about 3 weeks. A whirlwind romance. It had been a few months of the two of you being exclusive and it already felt like something that would be lifelong. 

Steve was attentive and sweet. He’d slip his hand into the back pocket of your jeans and pull you close to him when he could tell you were in your head about something. He’d run you a bath after a long day at work and sit beside you with his chin on the edge of the tub while you rambled on about whatever had happened. He would try—and mostly fail, though you never told him—to cook you these intricate meals. 

You’d fallen in love with him quick and hard. It hit you like a ton of bricks and took your breath away. Sometimes looking at him for too long felt overwhelming, your body buzzing and your throat thick with emotion as you’d watch him smile at something, eyes full of love and light. 

Steve was overwhelming, in the best way possible. 

You have that feeling now, your insides melting and heart thudding against your chest as you watch him bounce your neighbor's baby on his knee. Her little fingers are holding onto his big ones tightly, giggles flowing freely from the both of them as he coos and sings to her softly. 

Your heart might explode. 

It was a few days prior when your neighbor had approached you. Anna was a single mom, sweet and welcoming and you’d taken a liking to her. She worked three jobs and picked up odds and ends when she could. You admired her, helped out as much as possible and spent a few weekends a month with her precious little girl, Charlotte. 

Charlie was 8 months old and full of energy. You’d grown somewhat attached to her and it warmed your heart that she’d flash her toothless grin at you, chubby arms reaching for you expectantly when you came over. 

Anna had come knocking on your door during date night, apologizing profusely when you opened the door and she saw Steve attached at your hip. She’d asked if you could possibly watch Charlie on Friday, a big event at work with money that was too good to pass up. 

“Of course we will.” 

Both of your heads had turned to Steve, a grin on his face and a sureness in his eyes. You’d told Anna all about Steve, had gushed about him for months and she had no hesitation in accepting his offer, thanking the both of you before running back over and leaving you to date night. 

“Steve, are you sure you wanna come with me? Charlie’s an easy kid for the most part but…it’s tough sometimes.” 

He looked offended that you’d even suggest him not coming, scoffing slightly and waving his hand in the air at you. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. You’ll be there. Plus, this’ll be good practice for when we have babies.” 

That stopped you in your tracks, mouth falling open slightly and your heart racing. Of course you had thought about what kids with Steve would be like, how cute that would be, but to yourself. You didn't dare say it out loud and the way he said it so casually, so sure, had your blood pumping. 

And that brought you to know. Anna had left about an hour ago and Steve hadn’t even let Charlie out of his arms since she’d passed her over when you walked through the door. Charlie had taken to him immediately, pinching his cheeks between her little fingers and tugging softly at his hair. You couldn’t blame her though, he had great hair. 

“How lucky am I, huh? Get to spend my Friday night with the two prettiest girls in the world.” He’d leaned forward to nuzzle his nose against hers gently and she fell into a fit of giggles, clapping excitedly as if she’d actually understood what he said. 

God, your ovaries were going to explode! He fell into the role so naturally, cradling her head even though she was strong enough to hold it up on her own. You sighed in content when he pressed quick kisses to her cheeks or when he blew raspberries on her tummy and she thought it was the best thing in the world. 

“Having fun, Steve?” You sat beside them on the couch, arm resting behind him so you could play with his hair while he entertained the baby. 

“Are you kidding? This is fuc—freaking great. She’s a doll.” You couldn’t help but to laugh at the panic in his eyes at almost cursing in front of her. Assuring him that she wouldn’t pick up any bad words this young, you held your hands out to take her. 

While normally she’d reach for you eagerly, this time she eyed you carefully for a moment before turning back to Steve, laying her head on his shoulder and toying with the necklace he was wearing. 

Steve shut his mouth quickly, trying not to laugh at the look on your face. You looked genuinely offended, eyes wide and a small pout on your lips that made him want to lean over and kiss you. 

“Really, Charlie? 5 minutes with him and I’m old news!? I thought we were friends.” Leaning forward you tickled her side and laughed when she squirmed away and giggled. Eventually she decided to humor you, holding her hands out and letting you pluck her from Steve’s arms. 

Steve followed you through the house to her room, watching from the door as you laid her down to change her.

A fondness settled over him as he watched you, his heart all but melting in his chest as Charlie babbled to you and you nodded your head along as if you knew what she was saying. This came easy to you, being motherly and delicate. And Steve loved you even more for it. 

As he stood there quietly he pictured you with a child of your own. His child. He pictured bath times and stories before bed. He pictured kisses goodnight and breakfasts on the porch outside. 

For a long time he didn’t think he was meant for any of that, didn’t deserve it. But then he met you and everything he thought he knew was flipped upside down and changed in a flash. When he looked at you he saw your first dance and a baby and your first home and family vacations. He saw a lifetime of love and passion. 

You made him feel like it was possible to have that life he’d always secretly dreamed of. And even if things somehow didn’t work out—he hoped to god they did—he’d always owe you for showing him that being hopeful wasn’t a bad thing. 

He’s pulled from his thoughts when you walk up to him, Charlie bouncing on your hip and clapping when she gets sight of Steve waiting for her. He takes her with open arms and while you could pretend to be hurt you can’t deny the way you feel all fuzzy watching them together. 

“Gonna be the best mama, you know?” 

“I hope so.” 

“She’s just all over me because I’m a shiny new toy. But watching you with her…I can’t wait to see it one day.” 

You curse at the way your eyes fill with tears. This is one of those times Steve is so overwhelming and he doesn’t even know it! He’s just so naturally good. He’s so special and the most frustrating part is that he doesn’t even realize it. 

“Sometimes I love you so much I just want to smack you.” He finally sets Charlie down and watches carefully as she crawls over to her bucket of toys before he’s looking back at you, amusement in his eyes and a small quirk to his lips. 

“You’re just so…you! You are a good guy, Steve, the best I know. And you give yourself so little credit. I wish you could see how important you are. Not just to me but everyone around you. I’ll be a good mom because I love kids and know how to care for them, but I’ll be a great mom because you’ll be by my side. You’re gonna be the best daddy.” 

He’s looking at you with a look you can’t recognize, eyes heavy and it’s almost like he's studying you and you feel yourself growing shy under his gaze. 

“I don’t…I don’t know what to say. I, uh, I just know that I love you, a lot, like more than anything. And I feel proud you even entertain the idea of having kids with me.” 

You’re so full of love for him you’re not sure you can put it into words either, so instead you lean up on your tiptoes and press your lips to his, soft and gentle and full of all the things you want to say but don’t know how. 

Steve pulls back first, the heaviness in eyes gone and replaced with something light and playful. “Stop trying to get in my pants! The baby is right there, you perv. Let’s go make dinner before you scar her for life.” 

Smacking his chest and cursing at him under your breath doesn’t do anything but make his smile grow even bigger, dimples popping out when you roll your eyes and walk over to pick Charlie up. 

“C’mon girls, Steve’s making dinner!” His voice booms as he makes his way to the kitchen, pulling out ingredients you aren’t sure go together and shaking your head at Charlie, who’s watching him walk away with stars in her eyes.

“Don’t worry, kid. I’ve got some snacks in my bag in case this happened.” 

——

Dinner went surprisingly well, all 3 of you eating what Steve had cooked instead of the chips and chocolate you had stashed away in your bag. Anna had mentioned she gave Charlie a bath earlier in the day so now you were all lounging on the couch while you waited to give her a bedtime bottle. 

Some kids' tv shows held her attention, and Steve’s. 

A while later you pulled yourself off the sofa, stretching your arms over your head and telling Steve you were going to get her bottle and you’d be right back. It doesn’t take long, the routine is mindless and second nature to you at this point. When you’re making your way back into the living room, Steve’s voice has you stopping in your tracks. 

Charlie is cradled in his arms now, head resting in the crook of his elbow and he’s using his finger to rub small circles on the spot between her brows. “I hope it doesn’t offend you that I wanted to use you as practice. If it makes you feel any better you’ve been great! My favorite baby girl. You make it seem like it won’t be so scary having my own. I hope they’re as sweet as you, or their mama.” 

The hand that’s not holding her bottle is resting against the doorframe, your knees threatening to give out. At this point you’ve stopped thinking that you can’t love him more. He always proves you wrong. 

You clear your throat, taking some steps forward and laughing when Steve holds his hand over his head to take the bottle. I guess he’s feeding her. 

He watches in awe as she suckles gently, little drops of milk gathering in the corners of her mouth and he wonders why everything she does is so cute. She’s grilling his finger with a tight little fist that makes him smile. 

Half of the bottle is gone before she’s dozing off, head on Steve’s shoulder as he gently pats her back. Your head is on his other shoulder, fingers resting on his arm that’s cradling her against his chest. 

This is something you could get used to, you think. 

——-

It’s not long before Steve and Charlie are knocked out. Steve is slumped down with his legs stretched out in front of him, head leaning softly Charlie’s who’s lying on him belly to belly, head turned to the side facing you so you see the way her cheek smushes against his chest. 

TV off, the glow of the lamp the only light in the room. It’s dark outside now, your knees tucked to your chest as you watch them sleep. 

The click of the front door grabs your attention and you turn to see Anna coming in with tired eyes and her heels she had to wear for the event dangling from her fingertips. They drop with a soft thud to the carpet and she smiles at the sight of her baby cuddled to Steve before she turns to face you. 

“Thanks for doing this, it means the world to me.” 

“Anytime, Anna,” You gesture towards Steve on the other end of the couch and laugh under your breath, “it seems in not the only one that’s grown attached to Charlotte.” 

“I take it he was good with her then? I kinda got the feeling he would be.” 

“Y-yeah, he was…yeah. Gave me a big case of baby fever watching him with her.” You try to brush it off jokingly but you can’t take your eyes away from Steve or the way he cradles her against him. It’s mesmerizing almost, how perfect it looks. 

Anna gives you a knowing smirk, hands on her hips as she looks between you and Steve. “Yeah, I can see that.” You blush under her stare, hands coming up as if to say “whoops”. He’d proven to you tonight just how capable he was and it did things to you that you couldn’t explain. 

“Well, I know this thing between you two is…fresh. But I can see it in your eyes, picturing him with your own kids. It’s scary and a lot of and I’m not saying you should go and get pregnant now, but don’t freak out because you’re having daydreams about it. He’s a good one, we both know that. It’s okay to be sure about these things, even if it feels like it isn’t.” 

Her words soothed a part of you that you didn’t know needed it, but you felt better all the same. You nudged Steve gently, trying not to startle him or the baby and smiled when Anna went over to scoop her out of his arms. She thanked him quietly and he hummed sleepily, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to Charlie’s head before pulling his shoes back on and taking your hand in his. 

You walked wordlessly back to your house, thankful your mind had quieted down some. All that was heard was the chirping of crickets and the click of your front door being unlocked before Steve led you in. 

Both of your eyes heavy with sleep you let him tug you up the stairs to your room and pull you into bed without changing your clothes. He pulled you close to him, your back pressed up against his chest and his arm slung over your waist. 

“Thanks for playing house with me tonight, Stevie. Love you.” 

“Anytime, baby. Love you most.” 

[frvnkcastles]

hey i hope ur okay❤️ can you do Frank x Reader where she has an alcoholic and abusive father who has been in prison for two years and one day he is released and shows up at her house and she is very scared so Frank protects and comforts her

FIND MY PEACE OF MIND ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: When your abusive father turns up on your doorstep, Frank takes care of it.

Warnings: Mentions of past abuse (not specified), alcoholism, hurt/comfort, feminine nicknames

Word count: 1.7k

Author’s note: I know what it’s like to have alcoholism in the family (parents especially) and how dire the consequences of it can be, so you have my absolute sympathy, anon! I’m sending you so much love, and I hope you’re doing alright <3 I added a little detail of Frank offering to make it a completely alcohol-free home because that’s something I’ve thought about a lot, I personally don’t drink at all because of my family and I don’t think I’d be able to share a space with someone who drinks regularly. We see Frank drink occasionally on the show but I don’t think it’s ever implied he has a problem? So I 100% feel like he’d give it up if you asked. Anyway, I hope you enjoy :)

Upon meeting Frank for the first time and subsequently learning he had been in prison, you were understandably sceptical about getting involved with him. You already had a man in your life who had deep-seated anger and hatred within him, manifesting in violent tendencies, and that had scarred you for life. So, you hesitated, and he had immediately seen the doubt and even fear on your face, and although he couldn’t explain why he wanted your approval so badly, he did.

”Hey, if you don’t wanna see me again, I ain’t gonna hold it against you. But you, uh… maybe you should read about me first. Judge for yourself”, he had suggested before parting ways with you, and you had promised to do just that. You had a napkin with his phone number scribbled on it, and against your first instinct, you didn’t throw it away. His words stuck with you, and when you got home that night, you searched up his name and were smacked in the face with a flood of news articles about him.

Most of them were negative, and you had quickly questioned why he would encourage you to read them. Journalists hadn’t hesitated to write horrendous things about him, but they had also dug up his past and spread it all over the internet for everyone to learn about. And it was those tidbits that soon opened your eyes to the enigma that was Frank Castle. He wasn’t a senseless killer and he wasn’t an abuser or a tormentor of innocent people — he was seeking justice for his brutally gunned down family and cleaning up the streets from evil.

You had been wary because of your past with your father, but the more you read about Frank, the easier it became to see that he was nothing like him. In fact, your father was a man who would sicken Frank, a man that Frank wouldn’t think twice about hurting, and that realization welcomed an odd feeling of safety into your heart.

You called Frank the next day, and it was the beginning of him always hanging around you. Before you knew it, your life had turned from bleak loneliness and anxiety about your father’s eventual return to endless kisses, late-night dates on the rooftop of your apartment building and sitting on your boyfriend’s lap while icing the newest bruise on the corner of his eyes. He was a whirlwind but in the best way, and you found yourself completely enamored with him.

He felt the same way, certainly not having expected falling in love with someone, and especially as hard as he had with you. He had tried so hard to stay guarded and deny himself the truth, but it had been impossible to resist you, and so, inevitably, he let his heart be in the driver’s seat for a change and admitted to himself that he adored you.

With your new relationship came opening up to each other about everything you had been through. You had already learned so much about Frank on the news that it felt like an invasion of his privacy, so you had asked him to tell you in his own words when he was ready, and in return, he was all ears when you shared the story about your father and his issues with alcohol. Frank had been more than understanding, immediately insisting that cutting out drinking entirely was something he was willing to do for you — whatever it took to create a safe environment for you. On top of that, he had assured you that he’d do his everything to keep you safe from everyone, but especially your father, and you fully trusted him to keep that promise.

Still, you didn’t expect that hypothetical situation would come to life. You were used to worrying about your father and the eventual time when he’d get out of prison, but when Frank began spending more and more time at your apartment, you lost track of that nervousness and it became an afterthought. You felt safe for the first time in years, but it all came crashing down on one otherwise regular Sunday.

There was a knock on your door and it caught both your and Frank’s attention in the kitchen where you were cooking dinner together. ”I’ll get it”, you smiled at him before he could jump at the opportunity, gently squeezing his arm before you left him with the chopped vegetables and headed for the front door.

You swung it open, and at the sight of your father, your face lost all vitality and your heart sank all the way down to the floor. ”There you are! At least you had the decency to open the door”, he slurred, clearly already intoxicated, and panic emerged in your chest. He had to have been only just released from prison, and here he was, already drunk and tracked you down.

”You’re not welcome here. Leave, okay?” you stuttered, far less demanding as you wanted to be, and the attempt made your father snort. He tried to step inside, but you quickly narrowed the doorway, not letting him invade your home. He reacted with a mean stare, calling you an ungrateful brat under his breath, and you tried your best to fight off tears.

”Sweetheart, who is it?” Frank called to you from the kitchen when you didn’t return, and with a shaky exhale, you realized you didn’t have to face your father alone. You had the city’s greatest weapon right there with you.

”It’s my father”, you declared loud enough for him to hear, and you instantly heard him drop the knife in his hands. Not more than two seconds later, Frank was stomping from the kitchen, fueled by his concern for you but his face twisted into something furious.

”And who’s this?” your father chortled, swaying back and forth in the hallway, barely able to stand up. Frank assessed the situation, and he swiftly understood that there was no talking sense into a drunk man. That was fine with him — he wasn’t really in the mood for polite conversation, anyway.

”Get the fuck outta here. This is your only warning”, Frank grunted, leaving nothing up to debate. He stood in front of you, shielding you from your father who was hardly impacted by Frank’s thinly veiled threat, and you quietly cried from the sheer terror.

”Hey, you can’t tell me—”, your father began, but Frank was having none of it. He shoved your father into the hallway and closed the door behind him, not wanting you to witness their bickering and get upset even more. You were scared for him, but realistically you knew that Frank could take care of himself, especially against someone absolutely wasted and delirious.

Frank dragged your father outside by his arm, his grip enough to leave bruises in the shape of angry fingers, and he wasn’t stopping despite the drunk man’s feeble protests. He was fuming, absolutely livid that your father had had the audacity to show up and put your life in shambles all over again, and he couldn’t stop thinking about all the abuse you had endured. The man under his grip deserved nothing but the worst, and he would have been honored to be the one to give it to him.

Once outside, Frank pushed your father forward, causing him to stumble down onto the pavement. ”You’re a pathetic asshole, y’know that? You don’t deserve someone like her. You don’t deserve to call yourself a father. And if you come here again, I’mma make sure you regret even thinkin’ about it”, Frank seethed, standing above your father menacingly. He didn’t get up or argue back, so Frank considered his job done for now — but he was going to stay true to his word if he’d ever show his face again. The only reason he hadn’t killed him yet was knowing that you struggled with the idea, and he didn’t want to hurt you by hurting him.

He made his way back inside where you were a trembling mess, and instantly softer, Frank closed the door behind him and pulled you into his arms. ”It’s aight, darlin’. He’s gone”, he soothed you, his heart breaking when you burst into sobs against his firm chest. He felt sickened by the thought of what you had suffered through. As a father himself, he could not imagine ever doing that to his children, and he couldn’t fathom how broken a person had to be to resort to abuse the way your father had. It was the lowest of the low in his opinion, and he was almost hoping your father would give him further excuse to royally beat him up.

”I was so scared”, you confessed through cries, and with an understanding nod, Frank kissed your forehead and caressed your hair. He didn’t consider himself to be an expert at giving comfort, but for you, he would always pull out all the stops.

”I know, baby. It’s over now. He ain’t comin’ back, I promise, I’ll make sure of it. He can’t hurt you no more”, he swore, swallowing down his rage before withdrawing from you enough to look down into your eyes. ”I’mma help you file for a restraining order, yeah? And if he still won’t listen, I’ll break his fucking legs”, he guaranteed, entirely serious, but it still got a little laugh out of you.

”I’d like to see that”, you pointed out, and with a small smile, Frank swiped his thumb across your cheek in a comforting motion.

”There’s my girl. Hey, I’ll always keep you safe, you know that, right?” he reminded you, and slowly, you gave him a nod to confirm you trusted him.

”Thank you, Frankie. I’d be lost without you”, you sighed, hugging him again, and he enveloped you into his strong arms while resting his chin on the top of your head.

”You know I feel the same way about you, sweetheart”, he whispered, always so grateful to have you in his life. He found you so utterly perfect and beautiful inside out, he couldn’t believe anyone would ever hurt you. And even though your father had done exactly that, you were still so strong and kind, something he didn’t think he always was himself.

He admired the hell out of you, and he was going to do whatever it took to help you keep your peace of mind.

[foreverisntenough]

‘OURS’

Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.

INDEX

Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestion, smut (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, parenting, self doubt, body image, mention of the word ‘daddy,’ kind of angsty, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)

- this chapter contains mentions of body image issues -

Chapter 11 - More of You | ‘Ours’

You tucked Teddy into her car seat. She was a little fussy but it was fine. This is what you and Trent had discussed. Spending more time together was important so you planned to drive with Trent to training this morning, Teddy in tow. She wasn’t the best in the car you thought it was mostly due to the fact that Trent was focused more on the road than her. As weeks went on your insecurity about her preference to Trent and indifference about you only continued to grow. You dropped him off at AXA and he said goodbye to you with a kiss as you got out of the car to switch seats to drive home. A tearful Teddy pulling on his heart strings as he walked into the building. You got home and you needed to give her a bath. This season had flown by. Having a child just made the days blur together and tomorrow was suddenly the last home match. To your surprise, Teddy actually really enjoyed baths, you wanted her to like them. It was much easier to do things when she enjoyed them. It was obviously important to keep her clean. You gently lowered her chubby tanned skin into the infant tub. Most of her body and face well above the water for safety. You poured warm water over her frequently to keep her from getting cold. You felt like you were constantly walking on eggshells around Teddy though. Anything to keep her happy, anything to get her to like you. You washed her with gentle soap and massaged her hair clean. She seemed happy. You plucked her out of the tub and wrapped her up in a fluffy warm towel. She looked adorable. You took a few photos of her now clean and bundled and sent them to Trent. Frankly, you were just relieved you were getting through another day but it was an added benefit when she looked so cute.

‘She’s perfection. Thank you for taking such good care of her. We’re so lucky to have you, mummy 😘’

“Hi…” you giggled as you woke up Sunday morning to Trents lips on your neck.

“Morning, baby. I have to get going but I’ll see you at the stadium.” he whispered in the quiet stillness of the morning. Trent had to head off to meet the team at the hotel down in the city centre before the match. You rolled over to face him and pressed your lips to his.

“Proud of you.” you whispered back and he smiled. Liverpool had a good season. It didn't go exactly to plan but they were finishing in the top 3 and Trent had done a great job his first year as vice captain. You were really proud of him. “Love you, T.” you cooed as he got out of bed and began to get dressed. He winked back at you while he pulled a white long sleeve LFC t-shirt over his head. After he left, you got Teddy up and sat and had breakfast with her. It was another day of mashed fruit, today, bananas. She made a mess. It was becoming a bit messier everytime she ate now as she was getting more accustomed to dictating her own movements and control of her motor skills. It was annoyingly cute to clean it all up every time but you were proud of her for doing her best just the same as you were proud of Trent for doing his.

For the final time this season you pulled the tiny #66 jersey over her curly hair and put her in the matching shorts. Every single time you saw the ‘daddy’ jersey it made your heart skip a beat. Even though you were struggling with your own things you really did love Trent and Teddy’s bond. For your own look, you went for something fairly simple a Loewe tank, a pair of printed Cargo pants, and white trainers. You put your hair back into a sleek bun because lately Teddy was loving pulling on your hair and it was driving you nuts. You brought one of the first Chanel bags Trent had gotten for you. You remember opening the box like it was yesterday. You were sat on your apartment floor in New York with Lauren.

You opened the box and undid the tissue paper painfully slow for her, picking up a dust bag before removing a silver metallic Chanel 22 handbag. Your friend audibly gasped as your hand grazed over the shiny calfskin. Neither of you were strangers to designer items, shopping being a favorite hobby of yours but again… to receive this from a man was different. A card was sat in the box and she grabbed it quickly before you could even try.

It was also the first time he invited you to come see him play at Anfield. Now, you were on your way in a car to see him play three and a half years later with your daughter. Trent’s whole family was there, some of his friends as well. It was nice to share these types of moments with them but also nice to have extra helping hands with Teddy at matches. Marcel loved being with Teddy. You had a built-in babysitter when he was around. He held her in the stands on the final sunny day at the stadium. Thankfully but expectedly Liverpool had won the match. After a few farewells to players that were departing the club you and the whole family made your way down to the pitch. You waited on the touchline next to Dianne holding Teddy. Trent ran over and wrapped his strong arms around you picking you up.

“Another one in the books” you cooed before you gave him a kiss. Trent hugged Dianne and then took Teddy to hold. You walked the perimeter of the pitch as Trent clapped thanking the fans for their support this season.

“Thank you for being so amazing this year.” he whispered in your ear, pulling you closer to him by your hips as you walked. “Couldn't do this without you.” he pressed a kiss into your hair.

“You’d be just fine” you giggled hearing the stadium sing ‘The scouser in our team’ as you processed by them. You took a billion photos. Memories you’d cherish for a lifetime. You held Teddy as Trent stood behind you posing for a photo.

“Did I tell you how good you look today? Almost had me distracted during the match.” Trent whispered cheekily as the photographer snapped away. You turned your head to get a better look at him.

“Don’t lie to me” you teased back. Teddy obviously wasn't going to let you flirt with her dad for long without an interruption. Her tiny hand grabbing Trent’s jersey to pull his attention off of you and to her. “Yes, Teddy girl, Daddy is still all yours, don’t worry.”

“C’mere baby bear” Trent grunted, lifting her up high as she squealed. “I'm still yours, baby.” he pecked your lips with his before he spun around with Teddy eliciting a fit of giggles from her. Trent, Tyler, Marcel, George, and a few other boys hung around on the pitch kicking a ball around. You loved football as much as the next person but truthfully you're not sure there was anyone who loved it more than Trent. He had just played 90 plus minutes and a whole season and that still wasn’t enough. You sat on the grass with Teddy in between your legs watching them for ages. You stayed for a long while out on the pitch with all the families and friends. It was always such a nice way to close out the seasons. It was definitely better if there was the trophy involved but this was still really nice. The club had organized a party after the match at a hotel down in the city centre the team used to meet before home matches. It wasn’t a formal event so you stayed in your clothes, Trent just changing into more comfortable Liverpool gear. You walked into a red decorated room. It was fun and you were happy to be out. You planned on having another good night celebrating with the team.

“This is my fiancé” Trent cooed introducing you to a man that had interviewed him a couple months back. Every time he said the word it felt like he was asking you all over again. When the conversation lulled you looked up at him.

“So we’re telling people, huh?” You giggled intrigued after he boasted all about your proposal to the man.

“Well we’re not hiding it are we?” He laughed pulling you in for a kiss.

A few days later, for one final time you were celebrating the success of this season with the club. The team was hosting a big dinner party for just the players and their immediate families. There were still a lot of people but it was much smaller than the party after the final match. There would be no media or outsiders. Only you and Trent were going. You had decided not to bring Teddy so Dianne had come over to watch her. You wanted to have a fun night out together. It was a fairly formal dinner. You wore a tiny little black Jacquemus dress and a Bottega gold heel. Simple but effective. Trent popped on white knit polo shirt and tan trousers. You were stood at the mirror of your foyer getting one last look before you headed out when he came over. He cheekily squeezed your ass and rested his chin on your shoulder.

“You look way too good. Are you sure you want to go?” he cooed, inspecting the way your tits pressed together held by a flimsy gold metal charm. He ran his warm hands up your exposed back.

“Mmmmm are you sure you want to go?” You spun around and ran your hands over his chest fixing the collar of his shirt. His scent was heavenly. You felt like it sent you into a haze. You weren't sure you wanted to even go when he looked like this. “We could be a little late.” you whispered looking up at him. Trents eyes lit up excitedly until you heard Dianne calling for him. She wanted to double check where something was for the dogs.

“I can't believe I’m saying this but we should probably go.” Trent spoke walking back to meet you at the front door after going to assist his mum. He ran his hands over his face disgruntled that he was essentially turning down your offer to mess about.

“It’s okay, I’m really hungry anyways.” you giggled lacing your fingers with his. “Let’s go pretty boy.” you cooed before you went to say bye to Teddy heading out for the night. You had lied. You sat at a large table next to trent on your one side who kept his hand high on your thigh. You picked sparsely at your food the whole night. To your right, Andy’s wife sat. You’d definitely gotten closer since you moved to Liverpool. She had kids and was a nice confidant when it came to navigating the family and football crossover. You yapped about the engagement as she peppered you with questions about the wedding plans. You definitely had started thinking about things but really had made no movements. As it got later into the evening you started to get a little anxious. Your maternal worries about not saying goodnight to your baby setting in.

“You alright?” Trent asked subtly not wanting to draw attention to you. You looked at him and really could only see her face in his. Even though you felt a tensness about her affection towards you, you still missed Teddy and wanted to be with her.

“I know she’s fine with your mum, I just miss her. I don’t want her getting used to going to sleep without one of us there.” you tried to explain quietly to Trent.

“I understand, but it's just one night, baby. Relax a little.” he tried to comfort you but it kind of felt like the wrong thing to say. His hand squeezed your bare thigh.

“T…” you whined looking at him not really happy with his response. “I need to get home to her. You stay honest. I’m sorry. Do you mind?” you gave him a sad smile. You felt guilty wanting to leave the celebration but you weren't going to be much fun with all this anxiety weighing you down.

“I’ll go with you, yeah? I just want to spend my time with you anyways.” Trent cooed, adjusting his position in his seat as if he was going to stand up right away. You placed your hand on top of his resting on the table. You shook your head ‘no.’

“No, baby. I will see you when you come home. Have fun for me. I want you to have a good night.” you tried to reassure him. He felt uneasy about the whole thing but you were adamant about leaving alone. Andy’s wife gave you a hug goodbye. She understood what you were feeling and after you left she made an effort to tell Trent it was all fine. You went home to Teddy. Dianne was surprised you were coming in alone but she didn’t say anything. Trent had done well and deserved to let loose with his teammates. You sat in Teddy’s nursery listening to the white noise and her tiny snores as she slept peacefully. You were cross legged on the couch and began to rethink your decision. Your heart was much more at ease with eyes on your baby girl but your brain was running rampant at the thought of Trent on a night out. You trusted him wholeheartedly. He had been texting you since the moment you left but you just felt off. You initiated this. You left him. You told him to stay so as you laid in your shared bed, it occurred to you that the feeling of annoyance you were experiencing was completely self inflicted. It bothered you that he was out, having a good time while you were worried about your little girl who no doubt would be more excited to see him in the morning than you. You were jealous.

Trent came home, late, loud and drunk. You shoved your annoyance down and gave in to his incessant need to be closer to you in bed. It wasn’t his fault. You woke up the next morning and went about things as usual. A normal day although not so normal because football was now on pause until preseason began in a few months time and a few England international friendlies that were also on the schedule. You went into your town to get lunch with Trent and Teddy wanting to get out of the house and take advantage of the nice weather. You sat outside at a restaurant and picked at some chips while Trent bounced Teddy on his knee when an older woman had approached your table.

“Just wanted to tell you how gorgeous your family is. She is absolutely stunning. Looks just like her dad.” she smiled complimenting you all. Trent entertained the women as he gushed about how great Teddy was already. You smiled and nodded a long. A tinge of your heart hurting that everyone noting just how much she looked like him and never you. Before you returned home you ran a few errands. You were in the queue at a shop to check out when Teddy began to cry in her pram.

“Hey, hey, teddy girl, what’s wrong?” it was so sudden you didn't understand. She had been so good all day. You picked your head up to look for Trent because you were next in line. Between your crying child and the waiting cashier you were getting overwhelmed. It occurred to you that Trent had stepped out the door to answer a phone call and that was what triggered Teddy’s fit. Daddy had left. You shut your eyes frustrated and sad. You apologized to the cashier. The girl at the register gave you a soft sympathetic smile watching you struggle to pull your credit card out from your wallet as you simultaneously tried to sooth Teddy in your arms.Trent walked back in and rushed over.

“What happened?” he asked inquisitively and confused. He plucked her out of your arms and she began to calm. Her cries quieting, her movements stilling.

“Nothing. It's nothing.” you snapped a little at him. He was so lost. Why were you all of a sudden mad at him? You walked to your car carrying the bags aggressively.

“Let me take them, baby.” He offered seeing you struggle with the weight.

“No” you blurted out again quite harshly.

“Hey… what the hell is going on? What did I do? I thought we were having a good day? Is this about last night? I thought you wanted me to stay, I was doing what you told me to.” he began to ramble as you stood in the car park.

“No! It's not about last night. It's about literally every single night and day.” you began to cry. Trent instinctively pulled you into him. He just wanted to calm you immediately but you had worked yourself up too much. His arms wrapped around you tightly and securely. You heaved against him. “She loves you so much more than me. I don't understand. I carried her for fucking 9 months and all we ever hear is how much she looks like you. I feel horrible.” you pulled away suddenly though realizing what you had just said. “Oh god, I’m fucking terrible. I didn't mean it like that. She’s beautiful, you’re beautiful and I know you do so much for her and us and you deserve all the love she gives you. Ugh!” you sighed frustrated. “I’m sorry. I’m just jealous and it’s making me really sad.” you pouted as the tears continued to run down your face. Trent's face was almost blank; he was so taken aback by the sudden outburst but he wasn't exactly surprised with the way you were feeling. He saw your body language shift every time someone told you Teddy looked just like him, everytime she wanted to be with him, all the times your daughter clung to him every second that he was around her. She refused to let her daddy go, breaking your heart all done with an adorable grin and a soft giggle.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I wish you didn’t feel this way but I respect the fact that you do. It’s been really hard, this adjustment. I can’t do as much for her as you do and I know that. I wouldn't be able to handle this without you, I can’t even feed her the way you can and it kills me when you feel like she’s rejecting you. I know you might not see it or feel it but I know she appreciates you so much. She relies on you. She loves you, baby. I love you. She needs you, I need you.” he cooed, brushing his thumb over your cheek.

“It's not fair, I just want her to smile at me the way she smiles at you. I want her to want me. I do so much for her. She takes up my entire life and then.” your breath started to hitch and rapidly increase. “And then she takes you away from me.” you started crying more.

“Aw, Y/N. C’mon.” he pulled you in for a kiss. “C’mere. No one could ever take me from you. You always have that number one spot. It’s just different, baby. You don’t think I’m jealous you give her all your attention?” he laughed at his own admission.

“I don’t know…you shouldn't be. You’re always mine. She’s just… ours. We have to pay attention to her. You can usually feed yourself, you know? She can’t” you giggled.

“She’s ours but you’re just as important in my life, alright? You make everyday possible. Teddy and I couldn't survive without you and certainly wouldn't be able to laugh if we didn't have you.” he told you earnestly.

“I like those laughs. They’re my favorite sound to hear. I just get envious of how much more she laughs with you.” you hesitantly continued explaining your insecurities to him.

“Well, I’m very funny.” he joked before he picked up Teddy from her pram. “I’m kidding. C’mere, baby bear. We love mummy so much, right?” he asked her and she giggled like she always did with him. “That’s a certified, yes.”

“Okay, can we go home? I’m really embarrassed I just cried in a Waitrose car park.” you hid your face in the nape of Trent’s neck. He laughed a little at you and squeezed your waist before you alll got back into the car to head back to your house. When you arrived you put Teddy down for a nap.

“Do you want to sit out in the back garden? I feel like maybe we should have a longer chat.” you sheepishly asked Trent to come and sit with you. You had to get some things off your chest. You felt so sad you needed to confide in him but you were nervous to confess how you’d been feeling.

“Yeah, course. Go on, I’m following you.” You always envied the way he didn't give off a nervous energy. He was just calm all the time and here you were were practically shaking. “Want to sit with me or do you need the space?” You sat down on a lounge chair across from the couch he was sitting on silently answering his question. “Alright… baby, I love you.” He took a deep breath pausing. He was taking the reins here. As much as you’d been struggling, things had been weighing on Trent as well. “I want to talk here but you’re gonna have to be honest with me. You’re crying in bed at night. I know you're not eating enough, you’re making me nervous and I don’t know how to help you.” Trent’s calm demeanor you so admired dropped as he spoke. He looked at you desperately showing just how concerned he had grown.

“T… I….” you stumbled around the words not sure what to even say. You knew he wasn't oblivious but you had no idea he was even paying attention to certain things especially your eating habits. “I’m sorry” you said, choking back tears.

“I don’t want you to be sorry. I want you to be happy. I thought I was making you happy.” he looked across at you confused and heartbroken. He wanted you to come sit with him but he didn't want to push his luck with your boundaries right now.

“I am just having a really hard time. You give me everything. I promise you make me so happy. I'm so in love with you I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Everything just feels so difficult though. I feel like a stranger in my own body. I feel sick when I look at myself in the shower. I feel like I’m disappointing you.” Your tears began to fall. You watched your hands shake as they rested on your knees.

“Stop… nothing is wrong with you and you could never disappoint me. I wish you realized that you are an absolute dream to me. I wake up everyday in bed with you and I genuinely am amazed I managed to pull you. You’re the most beautiful, loving person. You take such good care of me and Teddy. Baby, I am so in love with you. Please, do not forget that.” he pleaded but you just couldn't hear it. You couldn't wrap your head around it.

“I just don’t feel that way…” you croaked out scared to even admit it. You felt guilty the moment the words left your lips.

“You don’t think I love you?” Trent was immediately put off and offended. He felt his heart drop. “Y/N, I’m being patient here but are you fucking kidding me?” He transitioned into an angrier voice. He was really trying to be supportive but how many times was he supposed to try to convince you he loves you.

“No, it’s not that. I just don’t know why you do. I don’t get it. I'm scared and overwhelmed.” you quivered fearful of his change of tone.

“Scared of what? I just don't know why you can’t accept that I do. I don't get it.” he snapped harshly using your exact phrasing to throw your comments back at you. “Baby, what do you want me to do here?” he sighed, feeling frustrated. “I need you to be healthy. I need to make you happy. How do I do that? I asked to marry you and you said yes but it’s like you don’t believe it” He stared at the ring on your finger catching some of the sun's rays.

“I don't know…” you whimpered, standing up on shaky legs and walking over to him. Even though you were mid fight all you wanted was to be comforted by him. “I’m sorry.” You cried. Laying on him. You sat next to him and pressed your forehead against his arm.

“Come here.” he wrapped you in his loving embrace. “Got to get you to see what I see. I need you to know how amazing you are for yourself, for me, for Teddy. Hmm?” He pulled your forehead off him and pressed his lips to your skin. “You wanna know why I love you? Why I want to marry you, why I wanted a baby with you? I wanted more of you in this world. That's how perfect I think you are. I wanted one more bit of you out there. I have the most beautiful daughter in the whole world and everyone can say she looks like me all they want but that's not the first thing I think of when I look at her. All I see is you. Her nose is just like yours, her laugh is starting to sound just like your childish giggle. The way she feels in my arms reminds me every bit of you. I love her because of how much I love you. And as much as I want more Y/N in the world, I’m selfish and greedy and there’s only one of you to go around so I’m not letting you go. I’m fucking marrying you. You’re mine, baby. All mine, made just for me and I’m made just for you.” You began to cry pressing your lips against his. The summer heat and his words warming your cheeks.

“I love you so much, T. Thank you for loving me.” you waffled

“I’m always going to but I just need you to love you, please. You're hurting my heart here. We’re eating good from now on. Me and you gym dates. Getting this ass in moving.” he squeezed your hip. “None of this water for breakfast. I’m not having my baby girl growing up around it. You’re beautiful and you're perfect and she needs to know that and so do you. I’m not doing enough if you don’t know how gorgeous you are. I think about this body, this face all day. I dream about you even when you're in my arms. You need to know that.” His eyes watered a little with his sincerity looking longingly into your eyes.

“Baby…” you whimpered out cowardly. You felt terrible that he felt he was doing something wrong when in reality this was a problem that had been planted long before you even met him. It was complicated. “The way I feel about myself is a culmination of a lot of time feeling really scant. Social pressures from everyone around me, the people that were supposed to love me, didn’t. I promise you, T, you have healed and helped me in so many different ways. This just isn’t something I can just turn off all of a sudden.” You leaned further into him feeling saddened by your own reality.

“I won’t ever understand but I can try. Just let me in at least. I’ll be here with you. It’s my job to take care of you. Would you want to spend some time in the gym with me? Gainz season, innit?” He squeezed your wimpy bicep teasingly.

“Okay, okay, okay. I’ll go as long as you’re there.” you couldn't help but crack a smile at his persistence as well as some memories you’d had made a few cheeky times down in the gym of your house.

“I’m gonna be there.” he replied, running his hand up your thigh. You knew he was asking you from a perspective of wanting you to feel confident and strong not in an effort to change anything.

“Shirt off, please.” you requested with a giggle, grazing your hand underneath his t-shirt. You dragged your nails over his abs.

“Oh yeah? It's like that now?” You nodded cheekily. He scooped you up as if you weighed nothing. Carrying you into the house.

“Where are we going? It’s nice out.” You complained but not minding being in his hold. It would've been nice to enjoy the weather though but maybe inside wouldn't be so bad.

“You think you can put your hands on me like that and I’m just gonna move on. We’re going inside. You’re going to lay down on the couch f’me” he whispered to you as his lips ghosted over your ear and he began nibbling on your earlobe.

“Really? What am I doing on the couch?” you giggled excited now, definitely not upset you were not staying outside.

“Shirt off, please” he teased, mocking what you said to him before he kissed you. The feeling of his lips on yours sending shockwaves through your whole body.

“Mmmm more.” you pursed your lips for another kiss craving more of him as he walked you inside.

“You wanna know how much I love you?” He cooed, laying you down on the cream colored couch in the big living room. You leaned back into the cushion before you moved forward eagerly towards him.

“I can feel how much you love me…” you practically moaned, grazing your hand over the bulge in his shorts now. He began to peel your clothing off piece by piece. There wasn't much on you to begin with so it didn’t take long. He pushed your legs upwards, bending you in half bringing your knees all the way up to your tits. His mouth watered looking down at your glistening pussy begging for him. Trent dragged his tongue through your drenched folds. He dipped in and out of you. His cock twitched at the way your jaw slacked in pleasure. He began to circle your clit before he pulled away with a cheeky grin. He looked so unfairly gorgeous beneath you. You felt dizzy watching him. Your slick glossing all over his perfect pink pretty pout.

“Tell me what letters you feel, baby.” he commanded you before he dove back into your pussy. A dangerous smile curling on his lips. He dragged his tongue in the form of the letters of his initials on his fiance’s pussy. You moaned out the letters he drew and well, hearing you moan out the initials of what was going to be your own last name soon was simply a bonus.

“T… ah fuck. A… A” you cried out. You weren't exactly as innocent as you presented but you liked when he treated you like you were. You knew exactly what you did to Trent as you pulled on his hair now or when you dragged your nails up his abs moments ago outside.

“Say my name baby.” he cooed and you practically melted. You fell apart. Trent loved you. He loved you so much it almost hurt. Everything about you just shattered him into a million pieces. Watching you cum right now only amplifying that feeling. The way your lips curled into the perfect little smile. He loved the way you whined when he touched your body, the way you reacted to him.

In swift movements, he was aligning his cock with your sopping entrance. His abs rubbed against you, he crushed you blissfully with his weight. He looked down at you fucked out of his mind madly in love with you. He collected enough spit in his mouth before he made you open yours. He spit his saliva into your mouth. You swallowed diligently with a moan.

“Such a good girl f’me.” he gripped your chin looking longingly into your eyes. He loved everything about this. Being in control of you. You letting him control you. You wanting him to control you. He tucked his face in the nape of your neck. He nibbled on your sensitive skin. His hair tickling you. Hoarse grunts escaping him as you soaked him. He hit that spot deep inside you, only he knew. All you could think about was the way he hit that spot again and again, continuously. He felt so good when he dropped his hand between you to rubbing your throbbing clit. He knew how to make you cum and he was going to do it well. “Tell me what I want to hear, baby” he whispered in your ear. Tears ran down your cheeks from pleasure and emotion.

“I know you love me. I know you love me. Fuck! T, you’re gonna make me cum.” you were a total mess beneath him looking gorgeous to him cumming all over his cock. Trent couldn't help himself from stuttering. The sex became sloppy and lovesick. He thrusted into you sporadically. You felt him begin to twitch inside you. “Cum inside me, baby. I want you to fill me up, please. T, Tell me you think I’m sexy.” you begged as you listened to Trent’s breathing became more labored. The knot in your stomach tightened when he spoke again.

“Fucking hell, you’re so sexy. You’re the sexiest woman in the world. Perfect for me. This pussy’s perfect for me. It’s all mine.” You couldn't keep it together any longer when he kissed you passionately. He groaned before he pumped his cum inside of you. “Jesus christ, baby. So good.” he breathed out as his pelvis grinded against your throbbing clit.

“I think I believe you now.” You began to giggle as he buried his face in your tits.

“Yeah, that’s all it took? Which orgasm was it? I particularly enjoyed hearing you as I spelled my initials on your clit.” He breathed heavily on top of you with a cheeky grin.

“T! You laughed embarrassed by his crass bluntness.

“Don’t get all shy on me now.” he cooed, peeling his slightly sticky body off yours. He pressed his lips sweetly to yours. You hummed at the sensation. He ran to the kitchen to get a cloth to clean you up. After he did, you went upstairs and woke Teddy up from her nap. You came downstairs holding her as he sat on the couch since turning the telly on while watching something. You talked to Teddy like you would a girl friend your age.

“I know, and then daddy told me I was beautiful so I kissed him.” You spoke loud enough to her for him to hear you babble on.

“Are you talking about me behind me back?” he sat up on the couch looking at you two lovingly.

“Just telling her how much daddy loves mummy.” you giggled squishing Teddy to you and kissing her cheek. You walked towards him carrying your little girl.

“Glad we’re on the same page then now.” he pulled at your arm dragging you down clumsily falling into him. You laughed carefully checking that Teddy was okay. “I love you.” He kissed your forehead. “I love you.” He kissed Teddy’s forehead. And you knew he did. He meant it.

You fell into the ease of the summer. Things were calm between Trent’s workouts preparing for the upcoming season and Teddy growing up painfully quick. She was almost 9 months old which was insane. Where did all the time go? She could understand instructions and was beginning to imitate your words using gestures. You spent the summer months lazing around trying to get comfortable with your body and motherhood.

Trent had an upcoming England international match. It was an odd one away in Moldova and you mutually agreed it wasn't worth you and Teddy traveling for. It was too much of a fuss. You sat with her before bedtime the day he traveled. When Trent was away the favorite part of his days were when you called with Teddy. A Facetime he just starred into missing you both, screenshotting everytime Teddy did something cute. Which felt like every minute. He had a folder in his camera roll dedicated to just Teddy’s cute little face. Teddy sat on your hip leaving toothless bites on your bare shoulder.

“Can you say night night to dada.” you muttered quietly as she sleepily let out a yawn.

“Miss my girls so much. Gonna watch tomorrow f’me Ted?” You confirmed she would and reminded him of your plans for the next day. You were headed down to London tomorrow to watch the match because Lauren was visiting the city for a brief moment and you wanted to catch her. You had planned to go to a viewing of the game at a pub you agreed upon prior. You were running late as you hurried through the tube station with Teddy getting off near Covent Garden. Lauren arrived before you and was sat at the bar saving a stool for you. You opted to bring Teddy in a baby carrier because it was easier for you to navigate instead of pushing your pram by yourself. You maneuvered your way through the crowded pub. You squeezed Lauren from behind, greeting her.

“Helloooooo my Laur” you cooed taking a seat next to her, a couple on the other side of you sat with matching England kits on.

“Oh my goodness! Hiii!!! Look at this big beautiful girl.” Lauren said, pinching Teddy’s cheek before helping you get her out of the carrier. England’s pre game warm ups flashed across the screen. “Is that daddy?” Lauren asked Teddy as she got settled on your lap.

“Oh isn’t daddy so handsome “ you giggled gawking a little bit at Trent’s physic as he wiped some sweat off his face pulling his jersey up towards his brow revealing his toned abs.

“God, he’s so hot…” Lauren sighed when the camera panned to Jude after Trent passed him the ball. You laughed at her. She leaned her head onto your shoulder. The women sitting next to you laughed as well hearing Lauren’s comment.

“Mood.” she concurred. You all had a little laugh but the mans she was with was a little less than impressed. Trent and Jude seemed to have a polarizing effect on other men. They wanted them on their footie teams, loved them for winning matches but almost loathed them for the way girls flocked and talked about them so blatantly.

“So I’m assuming you’re going to see him after this?” you cooed quieter to just Lauren looking at her. Interested in her plans.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to overstep but are you Y/N?” the girl next to you asked butting in before Lauren got a chance to answer your question.

“Oh, gosh yeah, I am. That’s me.” you were taken aback anytime anyone recognized you. It was still so foreign. You didn’t really merit any recognition of fame but you understood the intrigue people had wanting to know more about Trent’s life.

“I follow you on Instagram! I love you and Trent. You’re the perfect couple.” she cooed. The man with her leaned forward now interested hearing you were in a relationship with Trent. “Is this your daughter?” She asked. You got a little nervous. You had kept Teddy fairly out of the public eye to date.

“Mmmmhmm. This is my Teddy girl.” You cooed, holding her on your lap with one arm smushing a kiss to her cheek. You subtly spun the ring on your finger to turn the diamonds underneath to hide it out of the strangers next to you’s view. You felt really exposed all of a sudden. You wanted to keep the engagement private for the time being. Trent told you weren’t hiding it but you felt scared. You barely even got to celebrate it yet. Things had been so hectic and tense lately. Now didn’t really feel like the best time to put your personal life out there one random day sitting in a pub.

“Is that daddy, baby?” you cooed filming yourself and her on your front camera as the second half began. You panned the camera to show Trent on the screen. She squealed and giggled excited to see his familiar face. You sent the video to him. He responded an hour later once the match had finished. As much fun you had catching up with Lauren, you couldn't wait to get back home just for Trent to walk through the door again. You waited impatiently the next day for him with Teddy in your arms.

“Oh my goodness! Look who’s home! Is it dada?!?!” you cooed softly rocking her back and forth walking towards the font entrance when you heard him. Trent dropped his bag at the door, the way that drove you mad but you couldn't care less at this very moment. You were so happy he was home. Teddy excitedly gasped and kicked in your arms eager to get to Trent but unable to do so on her own. Trent pressed his lips to yours and you felt your heart falter a little. It was the kiss from someone who really, truly loved you. Loved every bit of you and every bit of the little girl he scooped up out of your arms. He kissed her chubby cheeks and pouty lips and she squealed.

“Missed you so much, my beautiful girls.” he cooed, pulling you into him, wrapping you and your daughter in his secure, warm embrace. He held Teddy in between you both as her giggles filled the room as you simultaneously kissed each of her cheeks.

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter … 🤍

Next part - Chapter 12 xx

[spiderlandry]

Can I request a Yellowjackets Shauna Shipman [ 1996] x Fem!Reader. So Shauna is really in love with the reader (the reader is on the soccer team) and has been for years (years as in since freshman year) they get together at the party before they leave and crash together?

I'm sorry if this is confusing. If you do make this thank you and I appreciate you.

Be safe and have a wonderful day

Dm me if you need more context?

be safe and have a wonderful day as well 😇 thank u for this request its v cute! no pronouns are used for reader but it’s implied afab or fem presenting reader because they’re on the soccer team <3

100 follower event

warnings: technically underage drinking (18), kissing, tiny bit of angst but it’s mostly fluff i think

kiss — shauna shipman

Friends. That’s what you and Shauna promised each other in Ms. Thompson’s math class, second week of freshman year. You were one of the first friends she’d ever truly made in high school that wasn’t through Jackie.

Although Jackie was her best friend, you were different. Much different.

She didn’t know it until you both ended up ditching the team after a tournament to get ice cream. She was hit with the realization that she wants to hold your hand for the rest of your lives, and with this, her entire world practically came crashing down. Her love had grown so strong—she couldn’t pinpoint when it started.

She’d been holding it in for a long time since then.

The air is buzzing the night of the party. It’s a celebration for the team, a way to let loose before nationals, but everybody is on edge because of the injury that Allie sustained. But you’re still a whirlwind of energy amongst all the stress, even if you’re not drunk like the others. You manage to put a smile on everyone’s face despite it all, one of the things that made her fall in love with you.

Shauna toys with the material of her dress. The one she wore just for you, the one that Jackie asked: “who are you wearing that for?” To which she stayed silent, a whisper of your name in her mind but unable to say it aloud in fear that if she does, it will all go wrong.

Yet, she’s warmed by the jacket you’d given at the beginning of the night, and she can’t help but fantasize a future where she’s allowed to love you.

The alcohol makes its way through her system as the sky gets darker and the party gets wilder.

She doesn’t know you’ve been watching her from afar since it started. Why are you avoiding me? You stop yourself from asking that, in fear that she’ll say it’s because she noticed the way you watch her with eyes that one of your friends described as lovesick.

You crush the red solo cup in your hand, throwing it in a bin before finally getting the courage to pull Shauna away from Jackie and some boys, a stone of jealousy forming at the pit of your stomach.

Shauna feels a familiar tug on her sleeve. It’s always the way you get her attention, and she has memorized the force of your pull—light as a feather, but she gravitates toward you like a moon in orbit—attached but at a distance.

Your grins mirror each other as you hover on the outskirts of the party, her leaning against a tree and you standing inches away, facing her. The warmth between you isn’t lost on her, actually, it’s all she can think about.

“Are you drunk?” She whispers with a playfulness you’ve always adored.

“No,” you shake your head, and you end up giggling.

You stumble a little bit, trying to steady yourself. She holds out an arm to hold your waist and you hope to god she keeps it there forever.

“Sure, sure.”

“You know I don’t drink, Shipman.” And you respond to her touch by putting a hand on her shoulder, and you feel her lean into your touch. “Are you drunk?” You whisper ever so gently.

Her senses are overwhelmed by you and you alone. The way you warm beneath her hand, the scent of your shampoo, your figure leaning slightly into her.

And she does the one thing that she’s held back for as long as she can remember.

A kiss.

One that you reciprocate out of instinct, hand moving to her neck, sweeping her hair out of the way.

She almost smiles until you pull back abruptly, the soft kiss still lingering on her lips as she tries to chase yours but you hold her back.

“Wait, Shauna—“ Your brows furrow, and she realizes that she just made a mistake. “Wait.” You can feel her itching to leave, but you’re stubborn and you won’t let her go. (Her world is crashing a second time as you speak.)

She notices your shallow breathing before you begin again.

“You’re—“ you seem dazed, shocked. “You’re drunk. Aren’t you?”

Your face is inches away from hers and you want to go back but it would feel wrong knowing her inebriated state.

“I had one beer. You?”

“Me too.”

“Then why couldn’t you stand?”

You come closer, stopping only an inch away and she can feel your breath on her lips again.

“Would it be too cheesy if I said that’s what you just do to me?” You laugh lightly.

She can’t help but grin wide. “Yes,” She puts both arms around your waist, hugging you closer. She doesn’t care who sees. “But you do that to me, too. I’m just better at hiding it.”

It’s you who kisses her this time.

You both decide to keep the relationship a secret, at least for a little while. The plane is noisy with the team unable to sit still because of excitement, but Shauna is fidgeting in the seat next to you and you know why.

“Hey,” you say, grabbing her hand and intertwining yours with it. “We’ll be okay, alright?”

She nods, gulping. She’s too distracted to see you looking around to see if anyone’s watching, and you catch her off guard with a peck on her lips.

Her eyes widen, “Somebody could have seen that!” She whispers, but her eyes crinkle as she flashes you a juvenile grin.

Her world crashes a third time, hours later when the plane does. But at least you’re there to hold her hand.

[eveistdiepommes]

Classes Start ! SideTrack A !

Hellloooooo everyone! I’m back with more college au! Omg omg, okay, I had so much fun with these designs and coming up with the majors! So! Welcome to SideTrack A! SideTrack drawings and chapters will be sprinkled in amongst the main character art and chapters! This is the first SideTrack, but I have a couple others in mind (Mostly the Nordics, which I hint at :3) Welcome our newest additions!

(Character bios and info below, as usual! :D)

Who has time for gender when you’re this smart? Feliks Łukasiewicz is a bonafide genius, their pink, glittery clothes might just distract you from that fact! Feliks is beyond talkative, they love chatting about anything and everything and anyone and everyone! They basically got this friend group together, albeit very pushy-ily and stubbornly. They can be pretty demanding, pretty bossy, and maybe even pretty arrogant, but that’s mostly for show! Their brain is constantly moving, constantly thinking, and if they had to be left alone with ruminating thoughts, they’d surely get overwhelmed! Feliks is incredibly kind at their core, they’ve just built up a lot of layers of self importance for safety.

And Toris didn’t even mean to break through those layers! Toris is a straight A, top of the top student! He keeps to himself, he greets people with a polite smile and tilt of the head, he is mild and generally unnoticed. Well… he was… Feliks attached themself to Toris. They share many classes together, and one day, in a whirlwind of pink hoodie and fragrant body spray, Feliks declared they were friends! Neither of them expected to actually develop feelings for each other. Feliks had initially approached Toris because he seemed lonely (and he needed to loosen up) and Toris stuck around because, well, he was lonely. But, the closer they got, the closer Toris got to Feliks’ core, Toris felt bubbling adoration. And to Feliks’ surprise, Toris was the one who confessed first, which really really really meant a lot to Feliks!

The two are a couple, one people wouldn’t expect! Feliks is loud and flashy, Toris is introverted and seemingly always nervous. But they both swell with pride knowing they know each other’s true colors. Toris hushes Feliks’ anxious and fearful thoughts, Feliks cherishes Toris’ strength and secretly fiery nature. Together, they are an odd display of opposites attract!

Dimitri is used to just getting by in life. He doesn’t ask for much, and he doesn’t want to! He’s a sweet guy who just wants to do his best and expects nothing in return! Okay well… maybe he wants a little something in return! But not much! Dimitri has dreams of attending the World Academy, but thanks to his financial and family background, he isn’t exactly an immediate candidate. So! He works at the frozen yogurt place in the mall to raise money! He and his coworker, Natalya have grown quite close, and thanks to her help, he gets to understand what to expect from the world academy! The only thing about being so close, however… is that Natalya is quite involved with Dimitri’s interest in a frequent customer…

Mihai frequents the mall constantly! He loves anything dark and gloomy, which explains why he’s friends with Natalya! Mihai, like his best friend, has a very eccentric fashion sense, 2000s scene and emo inspired! Despite his dark looks, however, he is the brightest and warmest person! He’s always smiling, always so happy looking! He honestly didn’t even want frozen yogurt the first day he went up to the counter, he just figured he’d get something since Natalya could give him a discount! But… when he got up to the counter and saw an incredibly handsome guy with dark hair and pretty eyes ready to take his order, it was hard to contain his excitement! Ever since then, whenever he’s at the mall, he gets frozen yogurt! And he’ll never get sick of it!!

Little do both of these dorks know, Natalya is playing matchmaker behind the scenes. She purposely goes on break when she sees Mihai approaching (and Dimitri is starting to catch on), she drops hints that Dimitri is interested in Mihai when they are in class together, and she might perform a spell or two just to make sure her efforts are not wasted. She had frequently spent her life worrying about love for herself, but once she met her… everything fell into place. Natalya is devoted to both her girlfriend and her friends, hoping to bring them all happiness in her own, eccentric way. Many are scared of Natalya, rumors surround her because of her dark and off color remarks, but she is the sweetest and most thoughtful person. Just don’t end up on her bad side. She could get away with murder!

[starcrossedbrothers]

alternative idea inspired by the rosier twins headcanon: rosier step-siblings

Evan’s father, Rosier sr., is a french wizard and the younger brother of Druella Rosier. After they graduate from beauxbatons, Druella marries an english aristocrat, Cygnus Black, and moves to England where she has three daughters. Rosier sr., on the other hand, falls in love with a beautiful witch he went to school with, marries her and stays in France where they have a son named Evan. Four years later, Evan’s mother dies in childbirth, and the baby also dies (I don’t think wizards, especially traditional pureblood types, would be open-minded about muggle medical practices, which means no c-sections. if there’s a complication, it’s common for the mother and/or child to die. very victorian) leaving Evan alone with his father, who responds to his grief over the death of his wife by shutting himself away, either at work or in his office drinking. Evan is raised by nannies and housekeepers, having no other family nearby and not allowed to play with other children. Evan’s father, who wasn’t that great before his wife died, only interacts with Evan to scrutinize and control all of his actions and choices, partly protective over his remaining child and partly just an abusive control freak. And Evan’s a lonely child, and learns how to be alone young.

During those years, Druella, Evan’s aunt, is constantly trying to get her brother to move to England where she is—their parents are long dead and they are each other’s remaining blood family. Also, she kind of sucks to me but is also concerned for her brother. Eventually, when Evan is eight, Rosier Sr. gives in and they move to England, where he meets one Penelope Lovegood, an aristocratic pureblood witch, wealthy and recently widowed, with a young daughter (yes Lovegood is Pandora's maiden name to me. let Xenophilius take her name. I think he'd do it). Cue a fast and whirlwind romance that ends in a quick marriage a few months later, making Evan and Pandora, both eight years old, step siblings (!).

And Evan is really shy and kind of odd because he’s never really been around children or many people and hasn’t been socialized. And Pandora is supposed to be the Lovegood Angel, mostly because her mother is generally well-liked and Pandora is a little adorable blonde girl who knows how to smile and stay quiet at gatherings. BUT Pandora is Pandora: at eight years old, she spends most of her time either reading/writing wild stories and plays based off weird/gruesome myths and trying to summon demons or raise the dead in her backyard. So obviously Evan and Pandora are fast friends and quickly become inseparable <3

[nadinebrooks]

Hello!! Can you do a couple head cannons with hufflepuff reader x Draco and a hufflepuff reader x Cedric (separate),maybe some Yule ball head cannons too only if you want to though (: if not just wanted to let you know I love your writing and your understanding of the characters is just incredible <3

Here is the link to my masterlist.

Cedric Diggory x Reader: Blossoming Love

Warnings: I don't believe there is anything.

The start of the school year at Hogwarts was a magical whirlwind of excitement and anticipation. The castle buzzed with energy as students returned to their beloved home away from home. Among those students was (y/n), a warm-hearted and hardworking Hufflepuff entering her sixth year.

Over the past couple of weeks, she was really starting to settle into her schedule. Her favorite class had always been Herbology. She absolutely adored Professor Sprout. 

Professor Sprout’s voice rang through the greenhouse as she attempted to capture the attention of all of her students. 

“Class, for this semester, we will be working on a long-term group project. Each of you will be paired with a partner and before you get too excited, I will be selecting your partners randomly.”

(y/n) exchanged excited glances with her closest friend, Eleanor Wilson, as they silently prayed that they would be partners. Nobody wanted to be partners with someone that they didn’t like or had never talked to.

The professor waved her wand as enchanted parchment soared through the air with names on them. (y/n) watched as a piece glided toward her and she held her breath in anticipation. 

When the parchment landed in her hand, she unfolded it to reveal the name of her partner:

Cedric Diggory.

Eleanor’s eyes widened with surprise as she leaned over (y/n)’s shoulder and looked at the name. She giggled and winked at her friend. 

Cedric wasn’t just any Hufflepuff. He was one of the more charming, talented, handsome guys (y/n) had ever come across during her time at Hogwarts. She thought he was absolutely perfect. However, the two of them had never really gotten a chance to know each other on a more personal level. They were in the same year, but (y/n) always looked at him like an unreachable star in the Hogwarts constellation. 

Cedric slowly gathered his belongings and made his way toward her. Elanor smiled one last time at (y/n) and went to find her partner. 

“Hi (y/n),” He grinned down at her. “I’m actually happy that we’re partners.” 

“Really.” (y/n)’s eyes shot up in surprise. She was a little surprised that he even knew who she was. 

“Yes.” He nodded earnestly. “Usually I end up pairing with one of my friends and that never goes well because I always end up doing all the work. But you don’t have to worry about that, I plan to pull my weight.” 

For the project, the two of them had to explore and document herbal remedies for common magical ailments like burns, insect bites, or minor curses. Then they had to create a detailed pamphlet with instructions.

“Thank you, Cedric. I really appreciate that. I’ve also had my fair share of assignments where I’ve had to do most of the work.” (y/n) told him. And in that moment it seemed as if the two of them decided to pull their weight for the sake of the other one. They decided that the best thing would be to meet every other evening in the library when Cedric didn’t have Quidditch practice. 

(y/n) very quickly learned that Cedric was so much more than just a pretty face. He was intelligent, funny, and above all, he was genuinely interested in their assignment and eager to collaborate. 

As the weeks went by and the project unfolded, Cedric and (y/n) found themselves spending more and more time together. They were even spending time together doing things that had nothing to do with the project.

Even after doing their research in the greenhouse, they would have dinner together or play chess in the common room late at night. Rumors even started floating around the castle but somehow they hadn’t made their way back to them. 

Once when the two of them found themselves alone in the common room, Cedric finally told (y/n) something that he had been wanting to tell her a couple of months ago. She uncovered a side of Cedric that only a few had seen - thoughtful and vulnerable. He found himself confiding in her about his aspirations, insecurities, and his innermost thoughts. 

“You know (y/n), I really do appreciate your company. It’s nice to have someone to talk to.” Cedric’s voice had gone somber. 

“I hope you know that I’m always here to listen.” (y/n) looked over at him with empathy. She couldn’t image how hard it was to be him. 

“Thank you.” His eyes were filled with gratitude. “I like that you treat just like you treat everyone else you come across. You just see me as Cedric and that means a lot.”

Their bond deepened over the course of the semester, and Cedric found solace in sharing his thoughts and worries with (y/n). He began to look forward to not only their meetings but staring at her across the room in Potions or getting to have breakfast with her. It was nice to know that he could be himself without the weight of the spotlight. 

However, their growing friendship did not go unnoticed by Cho Chang. The rumors had made their way back to her. She was someone who had caught Cedric’s eye in the past and even though they weren’t officially dating, she always wanted to a presence in his life. She couldn’t help but feel jealous of the connection (y/n) and Cedric was forging. 

One day, Cho confronted (y/n) while she was sitting out by the Black Lake reading a book.

“Stay away from Cedric.” She hissed dark eyes piercing into (y/n)’s. 

“Cho, there’s no need to worry.” (y/n) was taken aback by Cho’s hostility. “Cedric and I are just friends. I would never try to come between the two of you.” 

“I’ve seen the way you and Cedric have been spending time together. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.” 

“We’re just working on a semester long project together.” (y/n) responded completely unfazed by Cho’s hostility.

Cho’s expression softened slightly when she saw that (y/n) was genuine about not wanting to come between the two of them. “You better keep it that way.” 

“Cho, you and Cedric aren’t officially dating.” (y/n) let out a patient sigh that caused Cho’s left eye to twitch. “Besides, I doubt he sees me the same way that he sees you. I’m not as beautiful as you.” 

“Not as beautiful as me?” Cho let out a dark laugh. “I can’t believe you actually think that. Not only are you beautiful on the outside, but Cedric sees your kindness and genuine nature.” 

Deep down, (y/n) couldn’t help but feel that Cho was a vision of grace and beauty. Someone that she could never compare to. There was no way that Cedric thought about her the same way he thought about Cho. 

Despite her insecurities, (y/n) continued to be a supportive friend to Cho. She listened to his hopes and dreams, offered advice when he sought it, and cherished the moments they spent together. Cedric found himself seeking (y/n)’s company more and more.  

As winter approached, the Yule Ball became the talk of the school. It was an event filled with excitement and anticipation. Of course, the idea of the Yule Ball crossed (y/n)’s mind, but she hadn’t given it a ton of thought. Eleanor tried to convince her to mention it to Cedric but after that conversation with Cho, there was no way. 

“You know, (y/n), the Yule Ball is coming up.” Cedric sat down his quill. His hand had started to cramp from writing so much. “I was wondering if you wanted to go with me?”

“Me?” (y/n) sat her quill down and looked up at him. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure.” Cedric nodded with a warm smile. “I would love to go with you. You’ve been amazing and I can’t imagine a better date.”

“I’d be honored to go with you, Cedric.” (y/n) felt herself grinning. The thought of attending with him made her both nervous and excited. She never considered that someone like Cedric Diggory would ask her. And for second, the two of them felt themselves leaning in. 

The world seemed to fade away as they shared an unexpected moment of intimacy. Their lips met in a tender heartfelt kiss. It was a silent confession of emotions that had grown stronger with each passing day. It was a realization that their bond was more than just friendship. 

“I’ve wanted to do that longer than I care to admit,” Cedric whispered when they pulled away. His cheeks were flushed and both of their hearts were racing. 

Now that their feelings were finally out in the open, the two of them spent the rest of the night working on the project, but not without sneaking glances at the other for the rest of the night. 

[silverhallow]

Prompt request : Sophie's reaction to being called Auntie Soph for the first time.

Chosen Family

It had been a whirlwind few days Sophie had to admit as she woke the day before her wedding to Benedict.

From Benedict screaming at her in Number 5, to her being chased by the Bow Street Runners and her subsequent arrest, to her thinking she was either going to be sent to Australia or Hung for theft to Benedict arriving in the jail, declaring her his fiancee and her punching Lady Penwood to being a day away from marrying the love of her life…

She’d thought her emotions could take no more but the biggest surprise had come that morning as she broke her fast.

She was sitting in the breakfast room at Aubrey Hall, having arrived the day before as this was where she and Benedict were to marry.

Kate had woken up early and was escorting her two year old son Edmund downstairs. She was a little late getting down to break her own fast as Edmund had been upset, he had wanted Sophie to come help him with his blocks and Kate had to explain that she had to eat first and it had taken a little while to get him to calm down.

She adored and was amazed at how quickly Edmund had taken to Sophie, normally he took a long time to warm up to strangers, something Violet had said Anthony had been like when he was a toddler but from the moment Anthony had taken Edmund to breakfast at his mother’s and saw the new Ladies maid, he’d been infatuated with her, almost as much as Benedict was and she’d become his favourite person and he was always asking for her and how they were all under one roof, it had gotten even worse.

“Slow down Neddy” Kate called from the end of the hallway as she watched her son running towards the breakfast room, excited, as Kate had said that he could ask Sophie if she could play with him after breakfast if she didn’t have any wedding plans to attend to.

They’d explained to him last night that she was marrying his Uncle Benedict and that from tomorrow she would be his Auntie Sophie and that she was going to live with Uncle Ben, they’d not yet broken it to him that they wouldn’t be living in London, kate wasn’t sure how he’d take that news. Hyacinth hadn’t taken it very well and well Kate just hoped that Edmund wouldn’t realise.

“NO AMMA, NEDDY SEE NITTY FEE!” Edmund called back and just carried running and Kate had to lift her skirts to chase her son, grateful that the nurse had Miles that morning as he was still sleeping.

Kate got to the door just as Edmund pushed the door open as hard as his little two year old hands could, beaming as he looked at his family, his little eyes looking around for Sophie who was sitting next to his Uncle Ben and he left out a happy squeal “NITTY FEE!!!” he called and Sophie who had been mid conversation with Ben blinked.

“Nitty?” she asked confused, she’d never heard him say that word before and she had no idea what it meant.

“I think he means Auntie” Kate said as she followed her son in, “Eloise is Nitty El…”

Edmund nodded “Nitty Fee Like Nitty El and Nitty Fan… Papa said you Nitty as you mawwy Uddle Ben”

“Oh” Sophie said, her green eyes filling with tears.

“Soph?” Benedict said, looking at her concerned.

“I says somefing wong?” Edmund said as he arrived as Sophie’s side and saw the wetness in her eyes and knowing it was tears

“No!” Sophie said softly as she sniffed and wiped her eyes and nose “not at all Neddy, it’s just… it’s the first time i’ve been called an Auntie… it… it just made everything real…” she said as she stood up and bent down and hugged him.

Benedict watched his soon to be with, visible hearts in his eyes and the rest of the Bridgerton’s at breakfast just smiled. Sophie had fit in with their family from the get go and tomorrow it would be official.

And for Sophie, she wasn’t just gaining a husband, she was gaining a family. The one thing she’d always wanted, the thing she’d wanted more than anything from the age of 3 years old. She wouldn’t just be a wife from tomorrow, she was going to be an Auntie, a sister, a daughter and as she hugged little Edmund who whispered in her ear “I wuv you mostest Nitty Fee” she couldn’t help the tears falling.

Everything was just perfect, and absolutely worth the wait.

[virgoilluminati]

Hello, I just wanted to say that I love love love your page and I love how you write. It is so beautiful and deep. Belongings has me on the edge of my seat and I can’t wait to see where it goes.

Can I get a Harry Styles one shot with the prompt 23-25. I had in my head like him maybe helping the reader to stay up and look after their children because he’s always away on tour and he feels guilty he always has to miss out on their milestones. Idk I thought it would be so sweet 🥹🥹🥹❣️

Sweet Cocoa

A/N: so my original plan was to do all 3 of those prompts but then I realise I was going overboard and I much rather this fic with just prompt 23. I love this fic it’s so cute and fluffy and ahhhhhhhhh I love these imaginary children ❣️

Requests: Yes - Prompt 23 “How about something warm? It will help you sleep.”

Word Count: 2.1K

Prompt list here

——————————————————————————————

The stage lights dimmed, and the crowd erupted in thunderous applause as Harry finished his concert, pouring his heart and soul into every note. With a smile on his face, he waved goodbye to his adoring fans and walked backstage, feeling a mix of elation and exhaustion. He couldn’t wait to see his wife, Y/N, and their two young children, Abel and Elliot.

Elliot, their eldest son, had Harry’s unmistakable resemblance, with his tousled brunette curls and adorable freckles that adorned his face. At four years old, he had been fortunate to experience the early years of his life with both Harry and Y/N always by his side. They treasured every moment, cherishing the precious memories they had created together.

Abel, on the other hand, arrived during a whirlwind phase in Harry’s life. She was born amidst the chaos of album creation, touring, and even Harry’s foray into the world of movies. Harry couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt for missing out on most of Abel’s life and the significant milestones that shaped her early years.

For example: whilst Harry had been there to witness Elliot’s first steps, he couldn’t be there for Abel’s.

The magical spirit of Christmas filled the air as the family gathered in their cozy living room. Twinkling lights adorned the Christmas tree, casting a warm glow on the scene. Harry, Y/N, Abel, and Elliot were surrounded by their loved ones, creating a joyful atmosphere.

Amidst the festive cheer, Elliot, with his bright eyes and contagious smile, stood in the middle of the room, wobbling on his tiny feet. The excitement was palpable as Harry, holding Y/N’s hand, watched their eldest son prepare to take his first steps. It was a moment Harry had eagerly anticipated.

With a burst of courage, Elliot took a few unsteady steps, his little hands reaching out for support. The room erupted in cheers and applause, celebrating this monumental achievement. Harry’s heart swelled with pride and joy as he quickly moved closer to his son, his eyes shining with love.

“Elliot, you did it!” Harry exclaimed, his voice filled with excitement. He knelt down, his arms outstretched, waiting to catch Elliot in his embrace. And just as his little boy stumbled forward, Harry scooped him up, spinning him around in a joyous dance.

Elliot’s laughter filled the room, a symphony of pure happiness that resonated in Harry’s heart. In that moment, surrounded by their loved ones, Harry felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for his growing family.

However, halfway across the world, while Harry was immersed in filming his new movie, “Don’t Worry Darling,” he received an unexpected FaceTime call. With a mix of excitement and apprehension, he answered the call, only to find Y/N holding her phone and pointing it towards Abel, who was standing unsteadily on her own two feet.

Harry’s eyes widened, his heart skipping a beat as he witnessed Abel taking her first steps. Even though he was physically distant, the surge of emotions he felt mirrored the exhilaration of that Christmas day when Elliot took his first steps.

“Abel, my love, you’re doing it!” Harry exclaimed, his voice laced with awe and pride. Despite the distance, his eyes never left his daughter as she wobbled and toddled, finding her balance with determination. He couldn’t help but feel a bittersweet pang, wishing he could be there in person to witness this milestone.

Y/N smiled warmly, her own eyes filled with a mixture of joy and understanding. “She’s been practicing so much, Harry. We wanted to share this moment with you.”

Harry’s heart swelled with love and gratitude for Y/N’s thoughtfulness. He blew a kiss through the screen, sending his love and pride to his little girl. “I’m so proud of you, Abel. Daddy loves you so much.”

As Harry closed the FaceTime call, he couldn’t help but reflect on the parallels of these two precious moments. Both Elliot and Abel had taken their first steps, marking a significant milestone in their lives. While he had missed Abel’s steps in person, he was grateful for technology that bridged the physical distance, allowing him to be present in some way.

Opening the door, Harry was greeted by the sight of Abel and Elliot, their eyes shining with excitement. They rushed into his arms, hugging him tightly. “Daddy, you were amazing!” Abel exclaimed, her voice filled with admiration.

Harry chuckled, feeling the warmth of their love surround him. “Thank you, my little stars. But now it’s time for me to be your superhero and help Mommy, okay?”

Abel and Elliot nodded eagerly, their faces beaming with enthusiasm. They understood that Daddy was tired, but they also knew he was always there for them when they needed him the most.

As Harry stepped into the living room, he found Y/N sitting on the couch, a tired smile on her face. Her baby bump was prominent, a beautiful testament to the growing life inside her. Harry’s heart swelled with love and appreciation for the incredible woman he had married.

“Hey, love,” he said softly, making his way over to Y/N. “I’m here now, and I’m ready to help.”

Y/N’s eyes sparkled with gratitude, her exhaustion momentarily forgotten. “You don’t have to, Harry. You’ve had a long day.”

He gently brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, his touch filled with tenderness. “Nothing matters more to me than you and our children. I want to be here for you, every step of the way.”

A mixture of relief and adoration washed over Y/N’s face as she realized the depth of Harry’s commitment. “Thank you, Harry. I’m so lucky to have you.”

Together, they devised a plan to pamper Y/N and alleviate any worries or guilt she had been carrying. Harry fetched a cozy blanket and helped her settle on the couch, making sure she was comfortable. Abel and Elliot scurried around, eager to assist their parents.

Elliot ran to the kitchen, returning with a tray of Y/N’s favorite snacks and a glass of water. Abel picked up her toy toolbox and declared himself “Daddy’s little helper,” ready to take on any task assigned to her.

As Y/N reclined on the couch, Harry sat beside her, his hand resting on her belly. The little kicks and flutters beneath his touch reminded him of the new life they were about to welcome into their family. He felt a renewed sense of purpose, vowing to be present for every milestone and precious moment.

Together, they watched a movie, their laughter mingling with the soothing sounds of the television. Abel and Elliot snuggled close to their parents, their eyes growing heavy with sleep.

As the movie came to an end, Y/N leaned her head against Harry’s shoulder, a peaceful smile gracing her lips. “Thank you for tonight, Harry. This means the world to me.”

He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, his voice filled with sincerity. “I love you, Y/N. And I’m sorry for the moments I’ve missed. From now on, I’ll make every effort to be there, for you and our children.”

Y/N’s heart swelled with love and forgiveness. “You’re already an amazing father, Harry. We’re a team, and we’ll navigate this journey together.”

In the dimly lit room, surrounded by the warmth of their love, Harry and Y/N knew that no matter the challenges they faced, their bond was unbreakable.

As the two children lay nestled on y/n, Harry’s gaze wandered over to Elliot, peacefully asleep. With a tender smile, he turned his attention back to y/n, a silent understanding passing between them. It was time to reminisce on Elliot’s birth, a story they held dear.

“I can’t believe how much Elliot has grown,” Harry whispered, his voice filled with awe.

Y/n nodded, her eyes shining with affection. “He’s become such an amazing young person, Harry. It feels like just yesterday.”

Harry reached out, gently clasping y/n’s hand. “I remember that fateful day vividly, my love. It started with our car breaking down, right in the midst of your contractions.”

A wistful smile graced y/n’s lips. “Talk about timing, right? I wasn’t about to let a broken-down car stop us, though. I remember hopping on that bus, holding onto you tightly as the contractions came in waves.”

Harry chuckled softly, recalling the bus ride. “You were so strong, y/n. Despite the discomfort, you never lost your focus or determination. I was in awe of you.”

Y/n squeezed Harry’s hand, gratitude shining in her eyes. “And you, Harry, you were my rock. Your unwavering support gave me the strength to keep going. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

They fell into a moment of silence, their memories intertwining. The warmth of the room seemed to envelop them, creating a cocoon of love and nostalgia.

Finally, Harry spoke, his voice filled with tenderness. “Once we arrived at the hospital, everything felt like a blur. The nurses and doctors were incredible, guiding us through every step of the way.”

Harry’s voice lowered, his words carrying a hint of awe. “And then, in the midst of it all, Elliot arrived. The room filled with overwhelming joy as we held our precious baby for the first time.”

Y/n’s eyes glistened with tears of happiness. “That moment is forever etched in my heart. Seeing Elliot’s tiny face and feeling that indescribable love—it was pure magic.”

Their hands remained intertwined, their hearts connected by the profound bond they shared. In the quietude of the room, Harry and y/n found solace in their memories, grateful for the journey they had embarked upon as parents.

Harry’s gaze shifted to Abel, their youngest, her delicate form a reminder of the challenges they had faced during her birth. A mixture of concern and remorse washed over him as he thought back to that difficult time, his voice tinged with vulnerability.

“Abel’s birth… It still weighs heavily on my heart,” Harry murmured, his eyes filled with a mix of regret and sadness.

Y/n’s hand gently reached out to touch Harry’s, a gesture of comfort and reassurance. “Harry, you mustn’t blame yourself. We couldn’t have predicted what would happen. It wasn’t your fault that you weren’t there.”

Harry’s brow furrowed, his guilt evident. “But I should have been there, y/n. I should have been by your side, supporting you through it all. I beat myself up over it, even though I know it wasn’t within my control.”

Y/n’s voice softened as she squeezed his hand, her eyes brimming with understanding. “Harry, listen to me. We faced unforeseen circumstances, and it was a difficult and frightening time. Truth be told, even I struggle to recall much due to the medication I was on.”

A mixture of relief and sorrow flashed across Harry’s face. “I remember how scared I was to see you in so much pain, y/n. And yet, I didn’t want to miss a single moment. I wanted to be there for you.”

Y/n’s gaze met Harry’s, filled with compassion. “You were there in spirit, Harry, even if you couldn’t physically be present. And when we were finally allowed visitors, we both knew Abel was a fighter. She was so tiny, so fragile, but she had a strength that amazed us all.”

Harry’s eyes sparkled with a mix of pride and adoration. “Our special Abel. She proved time and again how resilient she is. She overcame those early struggles and grew into this incredible little person.”

“I love our family.” Y/N states as she admires all three of her children, including her bump. Y/n’s words filled the room with a tender warmth, echoing the depth of her love for their family. Harry’s heart swelled with gratitude and affection as he looked at their children and then at the bump that held their future.

“I love our family too, y/n,” Harry replied, his voice filled with sincerity. He gently placed his hand on her stomach, feeling the gentle kicks from within. “And I’m so grateful for these precious little ones, including the one growing here.”

Y/n’s eyes shimmered with a mixture of love and understanding. “They adore you, Harry. Even in their own unique ways, they feel your love and presence. You are their father, and your love shines through in everything you do.”

A soft smile touched Harry’s lips as he absorbed her words. He knew he couldn’t erase the guilt he carried for not being present during Abel’s birth, but he also realized that forgiveness and acceptance were vital for their family’s growth.

As the comfortable silence enveloped the room, a slight shiver ran through Abel, stirring her from her peaceful slumber. Y/n, ever the attentive mother, moved to pick her up and carry her to her bed, wanting to ensure her comfort.

However, Harry’s protective instinct kicked in, and he gently interjected, “I’ll take care of Abel, love. You’ve been holding her for a while. Let me handle this one.”

Y/n paused, her eyes meeting Harry’s, filled with gratitude for his willingness to step in. She nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “Thank you, Harry. I appreciate your thoughtfulness.”

With careful precision, Harry cradled Abel in his arms, feeling the warmth of her small body against his chest. He held her close, gently whispering words of comfort as he made his way to her bed.

As Harry tucked Abel in and adjusted the blankets around her, he couldn’t help but marvel at her peaceful expression. His heart swelled with love as he watched her, silently vowing to always be there for her and their entire family.

Y/n stood by, observing the tender moment between father and daughter. She couldn’t help but feel a surge of affection for Harry, appreciating his dedication and the deep bond he shared with their children.

In that gentle exchange, a silent understanding passed between y/n and Harry. They were a team, supporting and nurturing each other and their children through the ups and downs of parenthood. Their actions spoke volumes, reinforcing the unbreakable connection that bound them as a family.

As Abel settled into her bed, her breathing steadied, and a contented sigh escaped her lips. Harry stood by, his hand lingering on her forehead, before turning to y/n with a soft smile.

“Our little warrior is back to dreamland,” he whispered, his voice filled with tenderness. As Abel whispered her plea for warmth, her small frame curled against Harry’s back, he couldn’t help but chuckle softly at her adorable request. His heart melted at the sight of her, and he nodded, understanding her need for comfort.

“How about something warm, it will help you sleep?” Harry suggested, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Abel’s face lit up with anticipation, her playful nature shining through. “Hot cocoa?” she asked, her voice filled with cheekiness, fully aware that sweet cocoa on a weekday was a rare indulgence.

Harry smiled warmly, knowing how much she enjoyed the occasional treat. He nodded, feigning seriousness. “I think we can make an exception tonight. Hot cocoa it is.”

Carefully, Harry settled Abel back onto the bed, making sure she was comfortable. He draped a soft blanket over her small body, tucking her in snugly. Then, with gentle strides, he made his way to the kitchen to prepare their special bedtime treat.

The aroma of cocoa filled the air as Harry carefully prepared the warm drink, stirring in the chocolate powder and adding just the right amount of sweetness. He poured the steaming liquid into a cup, watching the swirls of rich chocolate with a sense of satisfaction.

Returning to Abel’s room, Harry found her still nestled in bed, her eyes drooping with fatigue. He settled himself beside her, his free arm cradling the cup of cocoa.

“Here you go, my little one,” Harry whispered, his voice filled with tenderness. “Enjoy your hot cocoa. It’ll warm you up and help you drift off to dreamland.”

Abel’s eyes sparkled with delight as she took the cup in her small hands, blowing gently to cool it down. She took a cautious sip, a contented sigh escaping her lips. “Mmm, thank you, Daddy.”

Harry smiled, his heart full. He leaned back against the pillows, carefully cradling Abel against his chest as she settled in, the warmth of the cocoa and their shared embrace lulling her back to sleep.

In that quiet moment, Harry’s heart swelled with love and gratitude. He treasured these precious moments with Abel, cherishing the bond they shared. As he watched her, cocooned in warmth and love, he knew that being a father meant embracing both the role of caregiver and occasional indulgent treat-giver.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

I Hope That You Burn

Pairing: Platonic Spencer Reid & Reader

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: uh just cheating really

Genre: kinda fluff, mostly angst

Summary: What happens when you learn your husband has broken your vows

This story was requested by @lucreziaq2001

A/N: I didn't get a chance to properly edit this one be kind &lt;3

***

Working for the BAU has been such a whirlwind to say the least. You joined the team pretty recently and it took you a little bit to get the hang of things but you'd say at this point you're definitely starting to find your place among the team.

"We're totally gonna miss you in the field on this one." Spencer says. You'd definitely consider yourself closest to him, always whispering to each other, chatting late into the night- he's like your best friend. It's nice to have someone close to out here as you aren't from the DMV tristate and only moved here because of your husband becoming a senator.

"Aw I know Spence but with Adam out of town at that summit for a month I'm just not comfortable leaving Bella with a nanny indefinitely like that." You tell him.

"I mean I totally wouldn't have minded watching Bella she's adorable." Penelope chooses that moment to walk passed the two of you. She ranks second closest you think. She reminds you of your friends from college, colorful and bold and unapologetically herself.

"It's not your job to watch my kid Pen, plus she'll only be this small for so long and with this job we're away a lot so I wanna take advantage of this and spend time with her." You shrug.

"That's so cute." Penelope says.

"You're a great mom. This case won't be the same without you though." Spencer says.

"Spencer I'm still on the case. I'll just be running point from home base this time. Like Garcia. You guys can and probably will call me as necessary." You say.

"What're we talking about over here?" Derek joins the small group at your desk. You and Derek get along great, although that's because he and Spencer are like brothers. You find yourself in the middle of their spats like this all the time.

"Just Bella and the fact that I'm staying back to take care of her." You tell him.

"Ah yes- the joys of motherhood you say. Can't believe you're staying behind." He shakes his head.

"If someone is ever gracious enough to deign you worthy of fathering their children, by some miracle, I'm sure you'll understand." You hum.

"Ouch! Need some ice for that Morgan?" Spencer hisses dramatically.

"You'll need ice in a minute Reid." Derek steps forward as if to threaten him, albeit playfully, but Spencer runs behind your chair, turning you to block Derek from getting to him.

"Hey! Just because I'm not going doesn't mean I'm not watching Morgan. You behave, both of you. Don't y'all stress Hotch out because I'm home." You warn.

"Hiding behind Mommy are you, Spence?" Derek taunts.

"I am not hiding!" Spencer huffs.

"Mommy?" You scoff.

"Reid, Morgan, wheels up." Hotch comes out of his office and the boys head off to grab their things. "You're sure about staying y/n?" Hotch asks you.

"Absolutely. I can't leave Bella. If it were Jack would you leave him with a nanny you didn't have time to properly vet, especially given the job we do? Not even factoring my husband's job into things."

"Could never." He says.

"There ya go." You say.

"Alright, well keep your phone on. We might need you."

"Of course. Consider me a hotline." You wink.

"Good." Aaron nods and turns away.

"I'm being hyperbolic! Don't like- call me at 3am or something with case updates!" You call after him.

"That's more Reid's thing don't ya think?" He spins to ask you.

"True. Safe flight! Someone let me know when you land!" You wave him off as you're sure the rest of the team is waiting for him at this point. You turn your attention back to the paperwork you were doing before. Penelope is still at your desk though and after a few moments of waiting for her to say something you chuckle to yourself.

"Did you want to talk about something Pen?" You ask her, eyes still glued to the document in front of you.

"What's it like to basically be Wonder Woman?" She asks.

"What?" You blink at her.

"You've been here a few months and you're already amazing, everyone loves you, you have the perfect daughter and a husband who couldn't be more obsessed with you I mean I would kill to have a life like yours."

"Well- my daughter is 2 that's not- never mind. I'm- flattered you feel that way Pen really but I'm not doing much of anything different. I work hard just like the rest of you. Trust me balancing a full-time job and raising a toddler is no easy feat plus being married to a politician is certainly not a walk in the park." You scoff.

"You make it all seem so simple."

"Well if I came in here screaming every morning one of them would surely have me committed and we can't have that." You wink at her.

"True. But I mean you're like always killing it."

"I try my best Pen, thank you. I worry sometimes- with Bella, ya know." You shrug.

"Why? You're a great mom." She shrugs.

"I like to hope so but the thing with kids is- well it's kinda like coding a neverending program that you aren't the only person adding code to and you have no idea what each new line of code will actually do regardless of your intentions." You tell her.

"Woah- I see. Well from over here I'd say you're a coding wiz." She winks.

"Thanks Garcia. I wanna finish this up before the team lands in case they need me so-"

"No problem, I have some things Hotch definitely expects me to do that I forgot about til the last minute anyway." She smiles. You chuckle and tell her bye and then she's gone, leaving you to your paperwork. Your least favorite part of the job. By the time the team lands somewhere on the west coast, it's about time for you to leave the office but Spencer is sure to let you know they've made it safely and promises to update you in the morning unless something urgent happens in the next 4 hours. You pick your daughter up from daycare and head home to wind down for the day.

"Alright Bella baby, let's get you fed and then bathed." You hum pulling her out of her car seat.

"Din din?" She blinks at you from in your arms as you shift to unlock the door.

"That's right my love din din. It's time for dinner." You kiss her head. You set Bella up in her high chair with some coloring pages to keep her busy while you get dinner going. Tonight you've got fish on the menu with steamed broccoli and some grapes you cut in half. It takes about 20 minutes but soon she's got food in front of her that she's getting down without much issue. Bella isn't the pickiest eater luckily and you've learned what flavors she does best with right now, of course that could change but that's something you'll test years down the line. For now, whatever keeps her fed is what you'll give her. When she's finished you bathe her and read her a bedtime story before tucking her in for the night. A couple hours after, you've showered and eaten and are climbing into bed yourself when your phone rings. You check the ID and pick it up.

"Hey Spence, how's it going over there?" You ask. He lets out a frustrated breath that makes you chuckle a little. "So not great?"

"I'm frustrated because these cops are incompetent but-"

"We always have to make sure we maintain a friendly relationship with local police." You finish the thought for him.

"Which is incredibly difficult when the Backyardigans would be more helpful than these guys."

"I think you're spending too much time with Bella. The Backyardigans?" You laugh knowing full well he only knows about the show because your two-year-old loves it.

"To be fair it's a good kids show." He says.

"I know that Spence but to say a group of animal children are more helpful than the local law enforcement is hilarious."

"You're only laughing because you don't have to deal with them. I am in no way exaggerating y/n."

"Oh I know. You don't really do that." You smile.

"Anyway, on more pleasant subjects, how is Bella? Easy night?" Spencer asks.

"Pretty easy yeah. Adam called to say goodnight to her."

"Did he? That's good. I know how much she hates when one of you has to be away." He hums hoping you can't tell over the phone how his mood soured slightly at the mention of your husband. As far as Spencer could tell Adam was a fine husband, on the rare occasion he was around and came to visit you at work he was always singing your praises. His only problem with Adam, which he would never admit, is that he's your husband because knowing you're married didn't stop Spencer from developing a crush on you. One he works very hard to hide from you and the rest of the team. He cares too much about you as a friend and as a colleague to ever risk that.

"Yeah, he missed the last couple of nights so it's lucky he called this time or I think Bells might've held it against him til the end of his trip in two weeks." You chuckle.

"Sounds like her." Spencer laughs along with you.

"Anything else happen so far? Anything I should know?"

"Nothing that can't wait until morning. Hotch will call you. I'm sick of talking about work." Spencer says.

"Okay well, we'll talk about something else then." You tell him with a giggle. You stay on the phone for another hour or two before Spencer lets you go for the night.

It takes the team over a week to return from that case. It was a rough one, even with you and Penelope helping as much as possible from the office but eventually, you solve it and the others make their way back home. By the time they land, it's already pretty late and you've left to get Bella so you'll simply see everybody in the morning. 

Night routines are done and dusted rather efficiently and you find yourself in Adam's home office after Bella's in bed. Well technically it's just the home office and not Adam's but he uses it way more than you do, you only really come in here to print things. Still, you keep a lot of extra supplies in here, and right now you're looking for an eraser because you can't find one big enough to erase the scribbles Bella has done in one of her books. You sift through the drawers on the desk and pause with a frown when you realize one is locked. Why would your husband lock a drawer of this desk? I mean- you're in the FBI you have higher security clearance than he would as a senator, what could he possibly need to lock up? You don't like invading his privacy but there's a terrible nagging feeling that tells you to open the drawer so- with a bit of careful picking you manage to get the lock open and find the drawer full of- letters. Letters between your husband and his secretary. Handwritten letters. You pull out the top few and scan the words on those pages, your heartbeat thundering louder with each line, each paragraph, each page. You read each letter with excruciating care, it takes you hours to get through them all, and by the time you're done, the sun has already started to light the night sky. You put all but 3 of the letters back into the desk and close the drawer but don't bother to lock it before forcing yourself up on your feet. You should kill him. Adam. You should hop on the next flight to that stupid summit and kill him in his hotel room. The hotel room he's probably sharing with his desperate secretary. You know the fault is his though you see red remembering all the times that woman smiled in your face while screwing your husband who knows how often. She probably thinks you're a fool, that you're so easy to trick and lie to. You slam the door to that office so hard thinking about it that the door rattles on its hinges. You're too angry to sleep- you need to decide how to make him pay for this. Stewing in your thirst for revenge, you hardly realize how much time has passed you until Bella comes toddling into your room.

"Mama." She waddles over to you and you struggle to flip the switch but you do it. You have to. Your baby. You have to do what's best for her. You always have to do what's best for her. Maybe nailing your husband to a cross is too reckless.

"Good morning my darling girl!" You coo happily picking Bella up.

"Mornin!" She beams back at you.

"Ready to get started with your day huh? Let's get you dressed for daycare!" You say kissing her cheek. You get her ready for the day, then yourself, feed her breakfast and drop her off at daycare all keeping it much more together than you feel. It's almost more frustrating to know you can't in good conscience take him down as he deserves because your daughter doesn't deserve that kind of exposure by association and when you leave him, you want it to be simple for her, or as simple as you can make it. You have a week to figure out your game plan before Adam returns and you plan to make the absolute most of that time. By the time you're walking into the office, you've already looked up several reputable divorce lawyers and plan to call them each during your lunch.

"Good mor- y/n, what's wrong?" Spencer frowns when he intercepts you before you reach your desk.

"I- I really don't wanna talk about it Spence." You say shakily. You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes and if you start crying now you don't think you'll be able to stop all day. Spencer seems to recognize the unshed tears too, if the shocked look on his face tells you anything. He wraps his arms around you tightly.

"If you decide you wanna talk about it, please come find me." He whispers before he lets go of you. You nod and make your way to your desk. Spencer spends the whole day watching you work. I mean he does his work too, or tries to, but he's so worried about you he can hardly focus. Before the end of the day, you've called all the lawyers you found and scheduled a meeting with one. You'll be seeing her tomorrow. When you're packing up for the day and preparing to head home Spencer walks over to you. "I know you didn't want to talk about it this morning, but since the work day is over I thought maybe you could tell me what's going on with you now?"

"Adam's cheating on me." You say flatly as you enter the elevator with Spencer.

"Wait what?"

"Has been for months. With his secretary. I found out last night."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"I spent all night reading their correspondences." You mutter.

"Y/n I am so sorry." Spencer breathes out.

"It's fine. I'm meeting with a divorce attorney tomorrow."

"So soon?"

"I have to be ready when he returns. On Sunday. I want all my ducks in a row so I'm not there when he gets back." You say.

"Where are you going to go?" Spencer asks.

"I don't know yet. But it won't be that house."

"You and Bells can stay at mine if you need." He offers.

"Thank you. I'll let you know if I'm gonna take you up on the offer. Right now I'm focusing on getting divorce papers drawn up." You mutter exiting the elevator as soon as the door opens.

"Y/n hang on-" Spencer grabs your arm gently.

"I have to pick up Bella." You say.

"You have to process this."

"NO. Not right now. Right now I have to protect my baby. Bella needs me and she needs me whole."

"Y/n you're not just Bella's mom. You're a woman whose trust has been betrayed and you're allowed to feel that."

"Spencer I am all that she has here. I can't fall apart there's no one- we don't have- if I fall apart there's no one looking out for her."

"Don't do that. The whole team is here for you both. I am here for you both. If you feel yourself falling apart find us, find me. I'll put you back together again." He tells you.

"Thank you, Spence. I have to get Bella." You make your way to your car and pick up your daughter. Six days. You have six days to get everything in order because god forbid you have to be here when he returns from his summit. It's practically robotic as you make dinner, feed Bella, and get her ready for bed. You don't even realize you're climbing into bed until you're shutting the lamp off beside you. The day was not easy but you made it through, and you'll continue to do so until you sort through as much as you can before Sunday.

You spend the entire week meeting, exchanging emails, and talking on the phone with your divorce attorney, and by Saturday papers are completely drawn up. You take Sunday to pack up as much of your and Bella's things as you can because you decided earlier in the week you would take Spencer up on his offer, at least until you found a new place for you and Bella or Adam moved out to find his own place, that choice would be his. If he wanted the house you were not attached.

"Alright Bella my love, we're going to have a sleepover at Spencer's house for a little while, sound fun?" You say to Bella as you give her a bath after dinner.

"Spency?" She smiles.

"That's right baby. Spency." You smile back. Once she's in her pajamas, you get her in the car and make the 20-minute drive to Spencer's place with your mind mostly on the clock.

"Hey. You made it." Spencer says when he opens the door.

"Yeah, I wanted to get Bella ready for bed so she could crash. I still have a few things to take care of before Adam returns but I didn't want her too off schedule." You explain.

"Do those things have to be done tonight?"

"Adam's taken a redeye flight, he always does. He'll be back before morning yes it has to be done tonight." You say.

"Alright, do you want me to put Bells to bed so you can get whatever it is done quickly?" He asks.

"Would you mind?"

"Of course not. I've done it before."

"Thank you Spence. I'll be back in like- an hour." You pass Bella, half asleep into Spencer's arms and give her a kiss before returning right back to your house. You have one last thing to do before you can consider this phase of your plans complete. You pull open that drawer in the office where you left those letters and toss them into the office bin. You strike a match and take a deep breath before tossing it into the collection of papers.

You saved three. Those you need for divorce things but when the time comes you'll burn them too. The rest you watch be engulfed in the fire now. Not to save him, no, you hope he will receive every wicked thing he deserves, but to save Bella. You've seen this before. Politicians in scandals are never isolated. It affects everyone around them and you won't have that happen to your dear Bella. She should not be any more harmed by her father's sins than absolutely necessary.

***

[heyclickadee]

Some kinda silly Techphee head-canons/thoughts under the cut (I wrote this ages ago but never posted it):

1. I’m honestly still not sure that Tech wasn’t trying to flirt back in “Entombed.” Not even necessarily in a serious way, because I don’t think that switch completely flips until “Pabu,” but in a, “Hhmm. She’s interesting,” sort of way, but his flirting language just ended up going completely over Phee’s head.

2. Likewise, I still like that things between them are moving really slowly and that we’ve barely gotten to (kinda clumsy and very mild) mutual flirting. It’s a negotiated relationship and not a whirlwind romance, and I appreciate that.

3. This is partly head-canon, but I also kind of appreciate that both of them are trying to figure this out. Phee has this interesting combination of having a somewhat flirty baseline personality while also being somewhat standoffish in the most extroverted way (I kind of head-canon that she’s one of those super outgoing people who still manages to keep people at arms length and has a vveeerrrry short list of close friends because emotional intimacy is terrifying), and that could potentially make it hard to communicate when she really likes someone.

And then with Tech—I kind of think it’s new territory for him. In a way. I don’t personally head-canon Tech as ace or aro, though I appreciate that other people do, and I honestly don’t have a head-canon either way on whether or not Tech’s ever hooked up with anyone. Maybe he hasn’t, maybe he has, could go either way, for me it just kinda depends on whether he ever had the opportunity or the time. What I think, though, is that any experience he might have with sex or kissing or whatever was limited to one night stands with people he knew he was never going to see again. Phee, though—Tech has had the time to get to know her a bit, and he could potentially have a life with her. And those are two things—time and the chance of a life or an actual romantic relationship with someone—that would’ve never been on the table before because those were things the GAR didn’t allow. That’s what I mean by it being new territory, and that could make someone cautious, however into another person they are.

Tl;dr: They’re both struggling to figure out what’s going on between them and I love them being gently disastrous because of it.

3.5: Kind of an aside, even though I don’t head-canon Tech as ace or aro (I identify very strongly with Tech, and I’m ace, but I also like leaning into the ways I think he’s very much not like me at all), I do actually kind of head-canon Hunter that way. And I mean that I headcanon him as being completely uninterested and even a little confused that other people are. Though I appreciate that other people don’t headcanon Hunter that way. (This is one of those cases where it’s really fun seeing other people’s interpretations).

4. When Tech comes back and if Tech and Phee do end up together, I’m really hoping that they’ll be a bit like Kanan and Hera in Rebels, in that they end up being best friends who are also very in love and extremely married in a science adventure battle couple kind of way. (I also really adore the sibling energy between Phee and Hunter, so I. Like. Need them to be space in-laws). Friendship and romance don’t cancel each other out and can not only co-exist, but strengthen one another as well. I feel like media does us a disservice when it says that romance ruins a friendship or that friendship is a stepping stone or, worse, an obstacle to romance. I want them to steal stuff from the British Space Museum and then also smooch from time to time.

5. I’ll admit that I’m kind of compelled by the fact that Tech and Phee won’t really get to grow old together. Even if they get to live peaceful lives, Tech’s going to be old long before Phee, and he’s going to die before either of them are really ready for it. And there’d be something interesting about one of them—I imagine Tech but it could be either one—saying, “This is going to be over too quickly, and that’s not fair,” and the other going, “No, it’s not—but let’s live life anyway.”

6. I’m on the fence on whether or not Phee and Tech would want kids if they do end up an item, but if they did (I mean, okay, if the writers make them want kids, but if we’re buying into the narrative here), I actually think they’d be good parents. Tech’s kind of already got a kid that he’s pretty good with (there was a learning curve and Hunter’s the main dad, but Tech’s right there co-raising Omega, and she’s his kid/little sister as much as she’s Hunter’s), Phee’s actually pretty good with Omega, too, and Lyana clearly adores Phee. It’s not the same as being primary caretakers, but it’s a step towards not being awful at it.

And it’s not as though they’d be on their own if they did decide to raise kids. (I’m including adoption of the very informal ‘a kid who needs a family and protection found us so we’re parents now’ Star Wars variety as a possibility here, btw). While I don’t think the the batch is going to settle down on Pabu all together all the time after season three (I have thoughts), any kid Tech and Phee would have would probably end up being raised by the wwhoooooolle family. Hunter, Crosshair, Wrecker, Echo, Omega, and probably Shep and Lyana are all gonna be Involved, not to mention the bazillion distant uncles (like Rex) that kid would have. That kid’s getting doted on.

6.5. Another aside, but I’m really curious how Phee and Shep met, and how Phee became part of that little family.

7. Tech’s and Phee’s relationship isn’t the one I’m the most interested in exploring going into season three—the sibling/parent/whatever relationships within clone force 99 are the ones I’m most invested in, and the Techphee stuff has been so low key that I don’t expect it to take precedence over anything else, or think it should —but I am still very invested in it and want to see where it goes.

[darkstar225]

Twice's 10th member is attached to her Mina unnie

A/N: Heyyy, I'm coming back strong lol! Sry for taking so long to post but finally the semester ended :D I hope that my dear friend i__love__ramen that gave me this idea on Wattpad likes it! :)

The request: Also I was wondering if you could do one where we are like specifically attached to one member or like different versions of it, whatever member you want but like we're super clingy and baby with them. I don't think even have a bias I just love them so much, but let's go with hmmm Mina that cutie ❤️

PS: Tysm for everyone that reads what I write, I hope I can bring a smile to your faces every time I post! I'd like to thank whoever sent me this idea 'cause I loved to write it <3

__________________________________________________________

Y/N gazed at the bustling scene before her. It was a whirlwind of activity as the members of TWICE prepared for their latest comeback. As the youngest member of the group, she felt a mixture of excitement and nervousness. Y/N had always admired her fellow members, but there was one person who held a special place in her heart, her fabulous Mina unnie. Mina was the embodiment of grace and elegance. From her enchanting smile to her fluid dance moves, she captivated the maknae from the moment they first met. The girl saw Mina as the older sister she never had, and she cherished every moment spent with her, a voice always laced with eagerness to be a reliable person for Mina.

Y/N - Mina unnie, can I help you with anything?

Mina turned towards her, her eyes sparkling with affection. 

Mina - Of course, sugar! I would love your help.

A broad grin spread across TWICE's honey's face as she followed Mina to the practice room. The two of them spent hours perfecting their choreography, with Mina patiently guiding the youngest through each step. Y/N couldn't help but feel a surge of pride whenever Mina praised her progress. As the days went by, the kid's attachment to Mina grew stronger. She would cling to Mina's side like a koala, always seeking her comforting presence. Whether it was during rehearsals, photoshoots, or even meals, Mina's lovebug, as the members started calling Y/N, would find a way to be close to Mina. Mina found her sunshine's clinginess endearing. She had always wanted to be an older sister, and Y/N's adoration filled a void she never knew existed. Mina reciprocated the girl's affection, always making sure to give her the attention she craved. However, there were moments when Mina had to attend to other responsibilities. The maknae would pout and sulk whenever Mina had to leave her side. She would whine to the other members about how much she missed Mina, earning amused smiles and gentle teasing such as ruffling her hair.

Jihyo - Sweetie, you're so cute, you really do act like Mina's little sister.

Y/N would blush, but deep down, she loved being called Mina's little sister. It made her feel special like she had found a place where she truly belonged. One evening, as the members gathered in their dorm, the maknae's eyes widened with excitement when she spotted Mina entering the room. She immediately jumped up from her seat and rushed towards her, arms outstretched to wrap her favourite unnie in a tight hug.

Y/N - Mina unnie! You're back! 

Mina chuckled, her arms encircling Y/N. 

Mina - I missed you too, darling. How was your day?

Y/N launched into a detailed ramble of her day, sharing every little detail with Mina. The other members watched with amusement, enjoying the bond between the two. As the night wore on, Y/N's eyelids grew heavy. Mina noticed her struggling to keep her eyes open and gently brushed her fingers through her sugar's hair while whispering.

Mina - Why don't you go to bed, honeybee? I'll be here when you wake up. 

Y/N yawned, her eyelids growing heavy as she bid Mina goodnight. However, as Mina turned to leave, a playful thought entered the girl's mind. She didn't want to be apart from her beloved unnie just yet, so with a voice tinged with sleepiness she called for her.

Y/N - Wait, Mina unnie...

Mina turned around, a curious smile playing on her lips. 

Mina - What is it, love?

Y/N hesitated for a moment before speaking up. 

Y/N - Um... Can I... sleep with you tonight?

Mina's eyes widened in surprise, but she quickly regained her composure. She understood Y/N's attachment and knew how much she craved her presence. So she replied softly, extending her hand towards the youngest member.

Mina - Of course, bae. Come with me.

Y/N's face lit up, and she eagerly took Mina's hand. They made their way to Mina's room, their footsteps silent in the quiet dorm. As they entered, Y/N's heart fluttered with a mixture of excitement and nervousness. Mina settled onto her bed, propping herself up with pillows against the headboard. Y/N climbed onto the bed beside her, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. With a contented sigh, she snuggled closer to Mina's side. Mina's arms instinctively wrapped around her babygirl, creating a warm and comforting cocoon. The youngest rested her head on Mina's chest, her eyes closing as she listened to the steady rhythm of her heartbeat. But before she could fall asleep she mumbled drowsily, her voice barely above a whisper.

Y/N - I love you, Onee-chan. 

Mina's heart swelled with emotion as she heard Y/N's words. She gently ran her fingers through her kiddo's hair, a soft smile on her lips while she replied, her voice filled with tenderness for the girl in her arms.

Mina - I love you too, sweet girl. 

Y/N's grip tightened around Mina as if she never wanted to let go. At that moment, she felt safe and loved, wrapped in the warmth of Mina's embrace. Her eyelids grew heavier, and sleep finally claimed her. The night passed peacefully, with TWICE's baby sleeping soundly against Mina's chest. Mina stayed awake a little longer, cherishing the precious bond they shared. She brushed her lips against her sister's forehead and whispered before giving her a kiss there.

Mina - Sweet dreams, my dear dongsang.

As the sun began to rise, Y/N stirred from her slumber. She blinked her eyes open and found herself still nestled against Mina. A smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she remembered the events of the previous night, but her voice as she spoke betrayed her and showed how she felt, a clear mix of embarrassment and happiness.

Y/N - Mina unnie, did I really fall asleep on you? 

Mina chuckled softly while nodding.

Mina - Yes, you did. But it's okay, baby. I loved having you close.

Y/N's cheeks flushed, but she couldn't contain her joy. She hugged Mina tightly, her heart overflowing with love as she answered. 

Y/N - Thank you, Onee-chan. I love you so much.

Mina returned the embrace, her arms encircling Y/N protectively.

Mina - I love you too. You will always be the little sister I've never had, hon.

In the world of TWICE, their sisterly love continued to shine, a show of warmth and affection amidst the mess of their idol lives. From that night forward, Mina's lovebug and said girl's late-night cuddles became a cherished ritual, a comforting embrace that symbolized their unbreakable bond. Through the highs and lows, Y/N always found solace in Mina's presence, and Mina found joy in being the older sister the maknae had always longed for. As time passed, the youngest blossomed into a confident and talented young woman, all while carrying the love and support of her TWICE sisters. And in her heart, she knew that Mina would forever be her guiding light and beloved onee-chan. And that made the unnies that we're seeing all these changes, especially Mina, have only one thought: 

We are proud of our dear maknae.

A/N: I apologise for any errors, English is not my first language. Pls, let me know if there's something wrong, ty for reading <3

[write-and-buried]

Celestial Navigation

Part 8 - Waning Crescent

Summary; A little ahead of schedule...

Warnings; Drug use (marijuana and ecstasy), oral sex (f!receiving) squirting, sloppy sex, PinV sex, unprotected sex, cumplay, dirty talk

Authors Note; my endless love, thank you and joy to everyone whoo has supported this story and given it some love, it truly means the world to me, and I cannot say thank you enough. Special thanks go to @the-ginger-hedge-witch, @radiowallet, @astroboots & @jazzelsaur for being the best cheer-whores a writer could ask for &lt;3

See you on the next one! &lt;3

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

[prev]

Unemployment doesn’t suit you. It takes nine days of semi-seclusion in Dieter’s apartment before the itch of uselessness settles under your skin. The anxiety in your twitching limbs as you check your bank account, feeling only the briefest relief at your savings before the cycle starts again. 

You’re sure your career in financial consulting is finished. Your name tarnished across any of the blue-chip firms you once admired. There’s nothing left for you there, the bridges burned to ashes as you watch each former co-worker disappear from your Instagram following list. You rearrange his apartment, arrange it back, organise the canvases stacked like textbooks in the corner, scrape dried paint from the hardwood.  

You brave trips into the café, fearful of wide eyes as you settle yourself into the squashy mustard armchair and pull out your journal. It’s thick, bound now with a rubber band you suppose you stole from your former office, its pocket bulging with phone numbers and email addresses left in the weeks since, people asking for help.  

Susan is the first one brave enough. She spends half an hour inching towards you, her eyes on her phone as they dart anywhere but your face, the café still bustling and busy. The unexpected whirlwind of press has died off completely, but some of those who joined the fray have kept coming back, tempted in by the swans on Owen’s latte’s, or Molly’s peculiar brand of eye-rolling customer service.  

It's busy most days now, both of them leaving yawning with a shout up the stairs. Molly wants more employees, Dieter has made it clear he doesn’t care what she does, as long as he doesn’t have to look at a spreadsheet. Owen’s asking some friends.  

“C-can I buy you a cup of coffee?” Susan stammers, breaking you out of the neat lines in your journal, the scratching out of deadlines for projects you no longer remember the purpose of. 

“She doesn’t pay here” Molly shouts, tapping the sign with a menacing finger. 

“It’s fine Molly” you call back, half exasperated and half warmed by her protectiveness. This woman, middle aged, with her hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun, doesn’t look like the type to suddenly produce a poster of Dieter’s youth and beg for a signature.  

“I’m sorry” She says, twisting uncomfortably. “I don’t really know, I mean, I know, but I don’t know why I’m sitting down here. Um. I was wondering if you could help me?” 

“What with?” You ask, watching as she opens her phone, and begins scrolling through the huge amount of missed calls. 

“They just keep calling. And I can’t find the paperwork, but that’s not who I owe it to. I’m on a fixed income and I can’t afford to…” 

“Hang on. What is this for?” 

“My youngest, Tommy, when he was born, I had some complications after that required surgery. I, um, I didn’t pay the bill, I couldn’t afford it after insurance. I moved into the city, and they stopped calling, but now they’ve started up again” 

“How old is Tommy now?” 

“He’s eight. He’s in third grade and he just adores bugs. I can't get him out of the back yard usually, even though it's getting cold he still wants to watch what the beetles and the flies are doing, even though I’ve tried to explain they’re going to sleep for the winter” She smiles proudly as she talks about him. 

“And when did they start coming after you?” 

“Six months ago, the phone calls started” 

“Scumbags. Ok. Susan, here’s what has likely happened. Your medical debt got sold. The company you owed it to, bundled it together into a portfolio and then sold it on to someone else, who has probably sold it to someone else and so on until they try to collect it”  

“They can do that?” 

“Sure. Debt is an asset, its money owed so it’s a line in a spreadsheet. Have you made any payments on this debt since they started coming for you?” 

“No” 

“Ok, that’s really good news. The statute of limitations on this is like six years. So, you don’t owe them this. What we’re gonna do is write them a letter, asking them to prove you owe it. That will usually get them to back off, but if that doesn’t work, we’re going to tell them to only contact you in writing, if they’re going to proceed with litigation. I’m also going to give you the info for the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau if they continue, and you can get in touch with them to let them know you’re being harassed by debtors for Zombie debt”  

“They have a name for this?” 

“There’s a name for everything, sure” You shrug, looking over the phone records. They’ve called Susan four times a day for six months, sometimes before seven am. “You shouldn’t have to pay this, I don’t think. But I’m also not a financial lawyer, so if you can, get in touch with one of those too”  

“They’re going to call again”  

“I know, and you’re going to answer, and say that any further correspondence will be done in writing, and they must prove you owe the debt. If they get aggressive, or are an ass about it, hang up the phone. You’re not in trouble here, you haven’t done anything wrong”  

“Even though I didn’t pay it in the first place?”  

“That’s a different conversation all together. But no, I don’t think you have. Your insurance paid most of it, and you stated at the time you were unable to pay the rest. They were happy to sell your debt on, so the way I see it, they got paid anyway. It’s probably been passed around until it ended up in this companies hands. They try to scare you into starting to pay it all over again, which resets the statute of limitations on the debt. So long as you haven’t paid them anything, then I think you’re in the clear” 

“Thank you… I was… I came here after I saw that article, and I just, couldn’t figure out where to go for help, and I thought maybe, you could help me with a budget or something” 

You smile, watching the way her body relaxes as she takes your words in. Carefully you write down a few phone numbers for her, as well as the website for Consumer Protection. Tearing the page out of your journal, you give it to her with a smile. She stays to talk with you a little longer, before leaving to pick up Tommy and her other children from school.  

The other receipts are still stuffed in the pocket. You pull them free and begin to organise them, listing them by name and number, any other information they have given in a column on the side. You feel a smile twitch at the corner of your lips as Owen brings you a muffin, the napkin wrapped around it stained from the blueberries.  

“Magnum just texted” he says in a conspiratorial whisper. 

“Are we really still doing this?” you ask, rolling your eyes. Owen grins, throwing up his hands as he shrugs 

“He insisted” 

With a sigh, you unfold your limbs from the chair, feeling them groan in protest as you stand for the first time in hours, rebinding your journal to carry upstairs as you shake your head.  

“Why Magnum?” you ask, feeling the chill of Dieter’s apartment as you see the open balcony. Dieter has dragged a canvas onto the icy surface, his broad back facing you as he paints something you can't make out. 

“If you have to ask Joanie” Eric replies “You don’t want to know.” 

Eric might be the only other thing keeping your restlessness at bay. He’s been sequestered in the same apartment with you, growing out his facial hair as he watches you with amusement, helping you move furniture, cooking in Dieter’s neglected kitchen, sleeping on the couch.  

He’s nothing like what you expected a movie star would be. He cooks, lavish dinners with ingredients you know cost a fortune, eaten with bamboo disposable cutlery over the sink. He brought two outfits in a duffel bag, a tiny jar of ecstasy pills, three movie scripts and a stack of cash. He flew privately to New York, using an alias to Uber to the café, Owen letting him up without question as he greeted him.  

You can understand why they were so popular together. Their chaos matches each other. Dieter’s tornado with Eric’s tsunami, destruction in a force of nature. They argue and bicker like only old friends can, the easy trust and grace of friendship that comes with years of knowing each other. They can sit in total silence as Dieter paints and Eric reads and annotates scripts in spiky letters.  

It would be easy to be jealous of them. The comfort and familiarity of each other belayed from years of shared company. But Eric pulled you into a longer hug than Dieter’s when he met you, and kept his arm wrapped around your shoulders as he asked you a million questions. He brought his own list of movies and sat next to you on the couch as you watched them. 

Now he’s brandishing a box of hair dye at you, pleading with you to help him because he always misses the back when he does it himself. It's an electric blue, bright and eye catching, and you eye the colour sceptically as you shake it to mix the bottle.  

“Will this work?” you ask, tilting his head over the sink. 

“Works every time” he says with a wink, closing his eyes as you scrub the blue dye into his scalp. “I grow out the beard, post on my socials that I’m spending the holidays on some kind of spiritual retreat and come back looking like a well refreshed well rounded Hollywood dick. Go full Leto with it y’know?”  

“But you actually come here?” 

“Usually, yeah. Few years I’ve spent overseas, sometimes D comes too.” 

“I didn’t know” 

“Now you do. Want to come to the Maldives next year? The blue of their ocean really is no bullshit, and the fish are these insane colours” 

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to… I mean” 

“Oh Joanie” Eric sighs, standing and stamping a kiss to your cheek. “You still don’t believe it do you” 

He leaves you to scrub the dye from under your fingernails, wondering exactly what he meant.  

* 

Dieter gets lost in canvas sometimes. Tied up in detail and knotted with ideas. The light changes as he paints, he hears the city roar and deafen as the day changes to evening changes to night. It’s getting colder now, icing in the mornings, frost on the windows as he squints in the low lighting. You bought him a pair of reading glasses from the drug store, they're hanging from his shirt. 

You went out with Eric tonight, Molly and Owen dragging you to a true New York Dive for pretzels and cheap beer. When he couldn’t put the paintbrush down you had kissed his cheek and wished him luck as you left.  

He knows the feeling growing in his chest. Can trace its shape and form with careful brush strokes. He’s throwing oil on this canvas to stop it spewing from his mouth. He’s glad Eric’s here. Glad for his lanky form unspooled on his couch with a highlighter and a pen, annotating scripts. It makes it easier, to not lose himself in the luxury of having so much of you, of gorging himself full on your laugh and accidentally letting it slip before you’re ready to hear it. 

You’re so close though. He can see it in the way you reach for him, feels it in the contented sigh when he joins you in bed. The little smile you shoot him in the mornings, when he kisses you goodbye before you disappear down the stairs. Its somewhere in your throat, nestled just between your vocal cords, a tuning fork waiting to be struck.  

Eric is having far too much fun with it.  

“Oh, you’re a fucking mess” was all he said the first chance he got, you in the bathroom as he cooked in the kitchen. “Told her yet?” 

“She knows” 

“She psychic too? Interesting” 

“She knows.” He repeated firmly.  

“Your dicks not that impressive Bravo” 

“We both know that’s a lie. She’s been through a lot these last few weeks, finding out I’ve got a moron for a best friend was probably the nail in the coffin, I just want her to be happy” 

“And telling her you’re “fucked-up-Mr-Darcy” in love with her is going to make her unhappy” 

“No… I just… fuck you” 

Eric laughed loud enough to have your eyebrows raise when you came back into the room. Like a good friend he kept his mouth shut. Dieter still dipped his hand in lukewarm water overnight anyway.  

The moon isn’t bright enough to paint by tonight. The sky too clouded over with the threat of snow to see the stars. The tv is casting a soft glow, the menu screen tinging the whole room blue as he puts his brushes back for the evening, feeling a cramp forming in his wrist.  

It’s after two am. Eric is asleep, feet dangling over the edge of the couch. You’re asleep too. He has a vague memory of you telling him goodnight, a brighter flash of the taste of your mouth as he kissed you, your hands on his forearms to stop him smearing paint on you.  

Your face is pressed into his pillow, your leg hitched free beneath the heavy blankets he knows you like, your soft skin in the light sending a zap of longing through him as he watches a lock of your hair be caught on the wind of your breath.  

You’re not there yet, your hesitancy towards physical affection only just beginning to shed in Eric’s presence. You know about the history, the long years of no privacy and no filters, the late nights in Rome, in Paris, where they ran the streets as lost boys and ended up in bed together. But you’ve stopped short of allowing him to be as tactile as he wants to be, as he needs to be with you so close all the time. 

He's kicking Eric out of the apartment tomorrow, telling him to come up with some plan or some lie to give him a few hours alone with you. It's been too long since he heard the way you whimper, felt the tremble of your skin beneath his hands.  

He wipes them on his sweats, getting most of the still wet paint off as he feels his cock twitch in his sweats, interest coursing through his groin as you shift, as your hand reaches for the cold spot on the bed he would usually be occupying, if this canvas wasn’t occupying him instead.  

The way you taste. Greedy swipes with his fingers in the shower aren’t enough, you need a hand pressed over your mouth for him to fuck you hard and fast in the bathroom, exiting flushed and steam clogged to nothing more than a breakfast offer from Eric. Quick fucks in ten minute time spans, not enough time for you to spread your legs properly, less time for him to see.  

He's gripping his erection through the cloth now, watching your sleeping form, curled on your side. It’s his favourite way to fuck you in the mornings, when you’re warm from his body and sleep rough, your tongue thick with dreams as he pulls you closer into his skin, clumsily pawing at you just to fuck you full, clean you up and fuck you properly.  

No time for that this week either. You’ve been in the café, returning calls and having meetings, helping people with financial questions he understands the merest gist of. Your fingers have stopped curling and uncurling. You seem lighter.  

Just a taste. That’s all he tells himself, just one and it would sate him for the next few days. Eric leaves in the New Year, a little over a week away. Next year you’ll be more comfortable, maybe enough to let him watch, see the way Dieter squirms when he’s given explicit instructions. The thought of both of you, telling him what to do, has him swallowing a groan. 

* 

Warm. That’s all your hazy brain supplies as your eyes flutter open. It’s dark in the room and you can feel the weight of something else pressing on your pulse, the curl of Dieter’s body behind you.  

“Hey” you mumble, your voice cracking with sleep. 

“M’sorry” he says, kissing a spot behind your ear that makes you shiver in his embrace. “Come downstairs” 

“Where?” you ask, confused as his hands slip up your shirt. 

“The shop. Please”  

His voice is breathy, the deep rich gravel of it scraping your belly as he presses into your back, feeling the thick weight of him in the cleft of your ass. It sizzles your brain, waking you further as you agree, rolling slowly out of bed as he keeps his hands on you. 

You lean on him down the staircase in the dark, his thumb rubbing circles on your hip as he whispers into your hairline. You can see the outline of his erection as he steers you to the mustard yellow armchair, kicking a pillow in front of it as you relax back into its squashy depths. 

“What are we doing?” you ask, your voice still unsteady with sleep. He’s cast in an ethereal glow. The fridge lights are a warm yellow, the coffee machine a sea green, making him look angelic, the sharp planes of his face softer as he arranges himself on his knees in front of you. 

He presses his face into your stomach, hiking your shirt just high enough to press his lips below your navel, his breath shaky as it spreads warm across your skin. He tugs your shorts and underwear off as one, your nails scratching into the fabric of the chair as he drops them to the ground, spreading your legs wider, the burn in your inner thighs as he drapes your legs over the arm rest. 

You’re wet for him already, the cold air chilling you as he groans at the sight of you in the dim lighting. He rests his cheek against your thigh, massaging you open as you scratch at the armrest, his gaze focused only on the juncture of your thighs. 

“I missed you” he groans, leaning forward to take a lungful of your scent, brush his nose against your clit as you whimper. 

You’re still sleep drunk, your limbs uncooperative as he moves you, folds you in half with broad strong palms to spread you wider. The stretch in your limbs tells you you’ll be sore in the morning... later in the morning.  

Warm. His mouth is so warm, a long and lazy stripe with his tongue as you feel the rumbling vibrations of his moaning as he traces your folds, spit dripping from his mouth as he tastes you. You’re aching, you can feel your pulse through your clit as he slowly drinks you in. 

“Dieter... please” it’s a whimper, a begging cracking plea as the messy curls of his hair brush your belly, each slow rotation of his tongue bordering on torturous. 

“I haven't had you in days” he says, pulling back to look at you, his thumb a lazy light metronome across your swollen clit. It's not enough, it's too much, all at once as he meets your eyes, his brow furrowed. 

“Days, Lou.” He squeezes your thigh; his shoulders are so broad they brush the sensitive skin. “I’m going to lick your perfect cunt until I've had my fill, until your spread open and gaping for me, until I fucking drown. I need you to take it for me, can you do that? Can you let me take my time with you? Until you’re swollen and begging and oversensitive, until you gush all over my face? Because when I shove my cock inside you, I want to feel it, that tremble, that uncontrollable clench of muscle as you cum for me again? Please?” 

His thumb is still swiping circles on your clit, you can feel it swelling underneath his delicate touch, another turn of a seemingly never-ending screw as your skin prickles, your brain fuzzy at his words. He waits for you, staring until you nod, your head falling back onto the cushion as his mouth descends again. 

He sucks your clit between his lips, enough pressure to make you cry out, the sudden sensation sharp as a knife in your belly. He bands his arm across your stomach, holding you still as he sucks harder, his tongue flicking against the ripe berry of your clit. You bite down on your arm to trap the scream in your throat, you can feel the mix of saliva and slick dripping over your skin, sluicing beneath you as he groans into your hot flesh. 

Your orgasm is violent, ratcheting through your system like a supernova as he quickly slips two thick fingers inside your cunt, pressing against your fluttering walls to prolong it. You struggle to breathe with the force of it, his fingers curling against you as he relentlessly lashes your clit, refusing you the option of a come down. 

Pressure. It’s so much pressure, his fingers curling and pressing against you as he snarls into your folds like an animal, barely drawing breath himself as the wet squelch of his fingers fills the deserted café, your whimpers and pleas of his name muffled in the crook of your arm as he keeps pushing, and pushing and pushing.  

You feel it. The wet burst of liquid that accompanies a second, deeper orgasm, you hear the splash on his face, the wet smack of his hand as his fingers are pushed out by the force of it, immediately transferring to your clit to skate across it, gliding smooth and effortless as he drinks from you, pressing his tongue inside you with a desperate groan. 

You’re weightless, your limbs made of clouds and stars as he rises, still pinching at your twitching clit. You barely see his cock when he frees it from his sweats, pushing them down just enough to angle himself into you, the stretch a burn inside you as he buries himself to the hilt with an obscene sound.  

His hand is wet when it grabs your face, squeezing your cheeks open to press his thumb against your tongue, the salt tang of you bursting across your teeth as he folds you in half for the leverage, fucking into you savagely, his hips bouncing against yours as he spews filth into your ear. 

“That’s my fucking girl, there you go, that’s what I want. Fucking drenched aren’t you, all fucked out and cock dumb. You're so good to me, letting me wake you up in the middle of the night because I'm craving a taste of your sweet little cunt. I want to wake you up like this every day, burying my tongue inside you while I jerk off, I want to fuck you awake, and to sleep. I want the last thing you feel and the first thing you feel to be this fat cock splitting you open, so you know every day what a fucking animal I am for you”  

His skin is fevered to the touch, his fingers pressing on your tongue as he fucks into you deeper, punching the air from your lungs with every savage thrust of his hips. 

“You take it so good for me, I can feel it, the way you want to cum again. You going to cum for me again, get me all wet so I can cum on your fucked out cunt, smear myself all over your dripping folds. Pretty as a picture, I'll paint it for you, we can hang it over our bed. My favourite meal, my favourite girl, mine...” 

Your back arches as you grab him, your nails digging into his shoulder as you cum again. Everything white hot and sharp, electricity as your toes curl, the scream let loose into the empty space as Dieter jerks his cock across your clit, the head smearing messy and wet across your folds, his eyes focused on where you join. 

He cums hard, covering your belly and thighs, dripping down into the mess you’ve already made, his voice hoarse as he buries his face in your neck, the scrape of teeth against your hammering pulse.  

He fucks it back into you, cramming his twitching cock inside your fluttering cunt as he kisses you, as sloppy and uncoordinated as you feel, breaths caught in milliseconds as he squeezes your waist, thanking you with half a breath. 

“Missed you too” you manage, looping your arms around his neck as your limbs relax stroking the base of his hairline, feeling him shiver beneath your touch. 

“I couldn’t see Andromeda tonight” he mutters, catching his breath against your skin. “Too many clouds”  

“Perseus fought to the death for her right?” you ask, the memory of him telling you the story under blankets on his balcony. 

“Mmm” he says, his hands squeezing your hips as he kisses your jaw. 

“How come all the stories in the stars are tragedies?” You wonder. 

“Maybe because they haven't all been written yet” he replies, wrapping an arm around your back to pull you closer, his lips descending for a kiss. 

** 

Christmas Eve brings snow. Flurries of spiralling white blanket the city, dampening the rush of traffic, people with places to be crunching through the slush, wrapped in warm coats with frozen fingers, angrily shivering as they wait to cross the street.  

It brings a brief reprieve to Owen and Molly. The café closing early as they make their way upstairs after, smelling of coffee and burnt sugar, both of them retrieving the bags of clothing they stashed in the early hours of the morning.  

“It’s tradition” Molly explains, adding flips of electric green eyeliner with a practised hand. “Eric pays, and Owen and I get absolutely wasted on his dime, and sleep it off on the couch”  

“A Christmas Miracle” Eric says, offering them each a tiny pill of ecstasy, a puff on a tidy joint. They both accept as you wave him off, the pills not interesting you. Dieter has cookies in the fridge, and you’re planning a night of payback, a few hours to unspool him again, watch the way his face twists with your mouth around his leaking cock, your hands holding his hips steady as he keens. 

Just the thought has you shaking off their invitations, Eric quieting their protests with a knowing grin. You’re almost certain he heard you, the scent of fabric cleaner was thick enough on you both in the morning for him to deduce where you had vanished to, what Dieter had left you tucked in bed to clean. He just smirked and winked, laughing at the heat of your skin.  

They look like famous people when they're done. Dressed in neon's and accessories, rave kids, call-back to the club kids, their pupils becoming wider as the drug kicks in. They all drink water before they leave, long kisses on your forehead and warm smiles as they vanish out the door, singing about Daddy Warbucks in offkey voices.  

Dieter falls apart within the hour.  

“We have to move” 

“We don’t” 

“We have to, you’re dripping out of me” 

“Say more things like that” Dieter growls, grabbing at you and pulling you closer. He’s still inside you, the occasional twitch of his spent cock a valiant effort as he wraps his arms tighter around your waist, trapping you against his bulk.  

“There’s no way you can go again” you laugh, stroking his sweaty hair off his forehead as he tilts his chin, angling for a kiss. 

His movements are slow, deliberate as he presses you into his chest. You're both spent, limbs full of static and lead as you lazily explore the slick of each others skin. His hair is wild, curling madly from the heat, the room clouded with the scent of sex as he grabs your ass, grinding you into his pelvis as you whine.  

“Is it Christmas yet?” he asks, stroking your cheek as you press your forehead against his, the chill of winter just starting to creep back into your body heat. 

“Not yet” you mutter, flicking your eyes at the clock as he pouts.  

“I have something for you” he says, unable to leave your lips long enough for the sentence to finish. 

“I didn’t get you anything” you reply, panic settling in your stomach as he grabs at you, forcing you to stay pressed against him as you try to rear away. 

“Yes you did” he says, smiling at your panicked expression. “You got me everything”  

It smacks you hard in the chest, the affection so violent as to make you stiffen. It comes in waves, crashing into you when you least expect it. The way he kisses you, holds you. The way he asks you about your day, follows up with questions of things you’ve taught him. 

He sees you. He remembers everything you’ve ever said to him, listens when you talk. He paints beautiful works and presses your thumb into them. He’s never pushed, never asked you for more than what you’re ready to give. Even now, his hands tracing patterns on your back, he watches your face come to these earth-shattering revelations with a serene smile, a loose grip on you, as if he knows you won't run away.  

“Dieter... I...” 

The door downstairs crashes open. You both hear the off key harmonising of Eric and Molly as the door slams shut behind them, the stumbling of the stairs as they continue a tune you can’t hear. 

You’ve just wrestled into a shirt, blankets covering your bare legs and Dieter’s still nude groin when Owen appears, wearing Molly’s shirt and carrying pizza boxes. His face is covered in glitter, there’s paint on his exposed midriff, his smile wide and lazy.  

Eric and Molly have a Whole Foods bag and less clothing than they started with. The glitter that shakes free from them is like a cloud of stars as they tumble through the door, collapsing together on the couch as they shout a greeting to each of you in turn. 

“They were fucking” Owen says, pulling a slice of pizza free with a grin. 

“They’re always fucking, you still aren’t forgiven for that mess you failed to clean up by the way.” Molly hiccups. 

“Dieter is insatiable, we all know that” Eric replies, grabbing Owen’s wrist to steal a bite of pizza. Owen kisses his nose as he chews.  

“She tastes like sprinkles on a birthday cake, can you blame me?” Dieter asks, wincing as you smack his shoulder. He reaches to the nightstand, grabbing a joint and lighting it as you pull the blanket higher, relaxing back into his chest as the vegetal scent covers the smell of sex still emanating from both of you. 

“Sprinkles on a birthday cake eh” Eric says, running his finger down Molly’s cheek as she curls into his lap.  

“What’s in the bag” you ask loudly, unwilling to continue this conversation without underwear on. 

“Presents” Molly sighs. 

Owen reaches for the bag, toppling it over the couch as a rainbow of colour spills out. 

“Are those...” 

“Sex toys. Yep” Eric says, giggling as he reaches for the joint on offer. 

“We ended up at this drag show and they were just giving them away” Owen says, laughing as he pulls a multicoloured strand of anal beads from the pile. “Thought we could use them as decoration for New Years” 

“Of course, if you have any favourites...” Eric says, winking at you as a heavy violently pink plug rolls across the floor. 

“I’ll let you have first choice.”  

You stay up late, laughing and talking as you share pizza and another joint, Molly falling asleep first, curled between Owen and Eric, who grab blankets and form a protective nest around her. Your conversation slows, the guys nodding off as the ecstasy does, the weed making them fuzzy and slow. You hear their even breathing, a synchronised mass together on Dieter’s couch as he strokes your hair, kissing your temple. 

“Is it Christmas yet?” he asks, his voice low. 

“Yes, it’s Christmas”  

He grins, reaching into his nightstand drawer and pulling out a gift wrapped in twine. You pull the string, letting it fall apart in your lap as the paper falls away. 

It’s a journal.  

The cover is dark, a faux leather, with the coming year burnt onto the front. It feels soft beneath your fingers, a worn give to its weight already as though it had been in use for years already, history in its pages before you open it. 

The pages are off white, uneven but perfect, tied together with uneven knots of twine down the middle. The front pages feature his spiky script, a hand drawn calendar, decorated with linking stars. As you flip through, each month has a watercolour in miniature, betraying the seasons as they change throughout the year. 

It’s set up exactly as your current one, the familiar columns and free pages organised exactly how you would have done. Birthdays and anniversaries and reminders are already sketched in, the loops of his handwriting familiar as you look at the pressed pages, the thickness of them, the way they would take the ink. 

“Dieter... did you make this?” you ask, awe in your voice as you look at the paintings. Figures, dancing in the rain, the snow, the falling leaves with high rises and stars in the background. 

“Thought you’d need a new one for next year” he hums, wrapping his arms around you from behind as you trace his fingerprint, a different colour on every page, a heart in every corner. “Sorry I had to look through yours for how you like it set up”  

The tears come without warning, pricking the corners of your lashes as you flip through the year. He’s marked certain days, little mementos in the corner. Day I first met you, Day we first watched Baby Jane, first time I tasted you, first time you tasted me, first time you realised you loved me, first time you stopped yourself from saying it. 

“I love you” it falls with tears from your eyes. Streaking hot down your cheeks as it blooms like a flower, crackling and sparkling like electricity through your system. “I love you so much”  

Dieter hums, pulling you to wrap your arms around his neck as you whisper it, over and over into his skin. 

“You’re ahead of schedule” he says, smiling as you cry into his neck. “Luckily, I had a plan for such an occasion” 

He pulls a hessian pouch from the nightstand, peeling your face from the crook of his neck to hand it to you, his eyes sparkling with tears as he tips the bag into your palm. 

“I saw you, for the first time, soaking wet. I was down in the shop because I was pulled there from the rain. It ruined a canvas that day, that summer storm out of nowhere. I was down to irritate Owen with my pouting. Then the bell creaked, in it’s old way, and there you were. It was like I had been struck by lightning, every cell in my body exploding like a nova from the minute I saw your face. I’ve been looking ever since for something just like this. Turns out, I just had to be patient.” 

The ring is uneven, waving and discoloured, a deep rich gold streaked with scarlet as he holds it to the light. 

“The rust from that bell is what dyed the paint for that journal. It's old bones are this ring”  

It fits your finger perfectly, already warm as he slips it to the knuckle, tilting your chin to look at him. 

“I’ve loved you since the minute I laid eyes on you. I’ll love you until our atoms are scattered across the universe in an exploding star.” 

He kisses you, full of promise and warmth. 

“Because I know they’ll find their way back”