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goldenseresinretriever · 4 months ago

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One Man’s Trash

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe but can be read as a stand-alone

CW: Angst, fluff, suggestive language, medical inaccuracies, hockey inaccuracies etc. No use of Y/N.

Word Count: 3.4k

Series Masterlist

“Bunny come on, just consider it.”

“Jake Seresin,” you place your hands on your hips and try your best to keep a stern expression on your face as your boyfriend gives you puppy eyes rivaling those of the actual dogs on the screen in front of him. This discussion has been occurring more and more often and you’re starting to feel your resolve slipping. Jake wants another dog. With you so early on in your career, you’d expressed your desire to wait to get married and have kids until you’ve had time to get your feet under yourself, and Jake, ever the respectful partner, had supported and agreed with your decision. An unforeseen side effect, however, was that instead of baby fever, your boyfriend has come down with a severe case of puppy fever. He spent every spare moment looking at shelter websites and showing you photo after adorable photo of puppies up for adoption.

It’s not that you don’t want another dog. You love Pudding but she’s always going to feel like Jake’s dog, no matter how much the two of you love each other, to the point that Jake constantly complains that she likes you more than him. And the house is more than capable of housing another pup. Even with its single-floor layout, the backyard is open to the beach and it's perfect for a dog. And yet despite all that, you can’t help the guilt that gnaws at your heart at the idea of leaving yet another dog at home when you and your boyfriend are busy jetting around the continent for work, sometimes for weeks at a time. Sure, right now you had an ideal situation with your parents being empty nesters just two hours away in Anaheim, and more than willing to babysit Pudding while the two of you were out of town, but that was an arrangement formed out of necessity. Willingly bringing another dog into your anything-but-consistent lifestyle made you feel like a bad parent. It was another reason you were holding off on kids. Jake, of course, who was more used to this lifestyle didn’t feel that same guilt the way you did and he’d even gone so far as to bring it up when you were at your parents’ house for dinner last. Your parents enthusiastically expressed their support and willingness to take care of yet another dog should you choose to get one. You know part of that is due to the fact that your parents have decided that despite being their youngest child, you’re likely going to be the source of their first grandchild. They want to be as supportive of your and Jake’s relationship as possible to get to that point since Charlie is married to his job and Tucker’s currently single and busy with his career.

You watch Jake’s brow furrow and feel a different stab of guilt in your chest. You don’t mean to be so cold to him but you just want him to consider your point of view and reservations. The smart thing to do would be to wait until the off-season at least before taking on a new member of your family, but he’s insatiable. “Fine, Bugs,” he says and you feel your heart squeeze at the coldness in his tone. He closes the laptop and gets up from the counter. You feel frustrated tears making your nose tight. You don’t want to fight with Jake but he can just be so damn stubborn sometimes, and while it’s one of your favorite qualities in him, it’s also been a point of contention in your relationship.

You’re left alone in the kitchen, fighting back the tears until a wet nose presses into your hand and you look down, blinking past the tears to smile at Pudding, who’s gazing up at you with concern in her honey eyes. You squat down and wrap your arms around her fluffy neck, burying your face in her fur as the tears escape. She nuzzles you gently, placing a paw on your bent knee, whining softly in concern. When your tears finally stop, you decide to take some space to breathe and grab your keys and Pudding’s leash. You load her into the back seat of your new SUV. Your heart aches at the memory of Jake surprising you with it for your birthday. He’d been chiding you about getting a new car longer than you'd been dating but you’d been hesitant to spend the money, so after a careful line of questioning and a few times he’d been able to coax you to test drive some cars for the hell of it, he’d surprised you with the forest green SUV that was bigger than you needed but Jake insisted it was a safer option than a car.

You feel your heart pinch again as you drive to the nearest dog park, wishing Jake was with you. Going to the dog park as a little family was one of your favorite things to do on your precious days off and you can’t help but feel his absence like a dull ache in your chest. You hate fighting with Jake. By the time you get to the park, you’re ready to turn right back around and go home but you can tell that Pudding’s excited even if she can tell that something’s wrong.

You manage to play for about an hour or so before wrapping up with a long walk around the park and heading home as the sun begins to sink below the horizon. Jake’s not home when you return and your heart sinks. You’re eager to set things right with him, but you force yourself to cook dinner, leaving some out for him, before climbing in the shower. The tears come again, then, at the idea that Jake may not be coming home tonight. Your shoulders shake with sobs as the shower water mixes with your tears. When you finally leave the shower, the water has long since run cold and you get dressed for bed in a daze, exhaustion sitting heavy on your bones.

When you pad out of the bathroom, however, your heart lifts at the sight of Jake sitting in bed, reading whatever coach’s biography he was currently working through. He doesn’t seem to have noticed your presence, that or he’s ignoring you, and if that’s the case you can’t take it. You approach the bed cautiously, climbing in, and Jake starts, “Hey Bunny, how was your sh-“ he’s cut off as you scoot across the bed at lightning speed and curl against his side, inhaling his scent and letting it ground you even as you shudder against him. “Bunny? What’s going on, sweetheart?” He puts the book down, his full attention on you as you don’t answer, and simply curl closer. Jake pulls his arm free from under you and wraps it around your shoulder and you feel your body relax into his touch.

“I’m sorry, Jake.” You blurt and hate the way it sounds wet and weepy as your tears flow once again. He stiffens underneath you and then his other hand reaches for your chin, guiding your face up to his so he can see the tears coursing down your cheeks, alarm in his eyes.

“Sorry for what? Bunny, what’s going on?” You blink, surprise stopping your tears as confusion takes over.

“For earlier, about the dog,” you blubber tearfully. “I hate fighting with you and I should have been more patient-“

“Fighting with me? Bunny, I’m not mad at you,” he says, surprise lighting his eyes flecked with pain. “Was I frustrated in the moment? Yes, but I’m not mad at you sweet girl, I could never be mad at you over something like that.” You blink up at him.

“Then where did you go? You were gone so long I thought you weren’t coming home tonight,” his eyes widen and he wraps his other arm around you, pulling you closer.

“Oh Bunny, I told you this morning I was golfing with the guys this afternoon and we’d probably do drinks after.” You’d completely forgotten about that. “I figured you and Pudding went out to have a girls’ day, I didn’t realize you were upset or I wouldn’t have gone, I’m sorry.” You shake your head against his chest.

“No, I’m sorry, I should have articulated better and not just assumed you were angry at me. And I really am sorry Jake, about telling you no about the puppy. It’s been just as hard for me as it has been for you.” You pause and Jake seems to know you have more to say so he waits patiently. “I haven’t been fair to you. I know I’m asking a lot to wait before we have kids, and you’ve been so respectful of that. And I know this is a natural compromise but I can’t help but think about how irresponsible it feels right now and… it makes me feel like a bad mom.” Your voice gets softer at the end but you know he heard you as he pulls back so he can look you in the eye.

“Bunny, first I want you to know that you should never feel guilty about wanting to wait to have kids. You’re right, neither of us are ready for that right now. I’m lucky enough to have a girlfriend that travels with me to my games, if I had to trade that for kids? I’d pick you every time. Kids can wait, I want to enjoy you, just you, for a little bit longer. Second, I know you just want what’s best for us and this puppy, and I know I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on you to make this happen sooner rather than later and I’m sorry. I know you’re right about waiting until the off-season and I’m sorry I haven’t been receptive.” He leans in to press a kiss between your eyes. “Third, you’re not a bad mom. You never will be, not when you care this much. You’re not impulsive, you’re level-headed and you care so much it hurts you. You’re such a good mom to Pudding and you’re going to be the perfect mom to our future puppy and kids.”

You sniffle, leaning back down to lay your head on Jake’s chest. “I really do want a puppy, you know? I want to raise them together, and I don’t want to miss a single second of it, which is why I want to wait. So know that as much as you want to get one as soon as possible, so do I, the timing just isn’t right right now.” Jake nods above you.

“I know, sweet girl.” He kisses the top of your head. “You know I love you, don’t you?” You nod.

“I know, and I love you too, Jake.”

“That’s my girl. We’re a team, even when we disagree, remember that. And we’re not going to make any decisions for this team without agreeing about it first, okay?” You nod again and he eases the two of you down to lay down in bed, reaching over to turn off the lamp.

***

Two weeks later, you’re running late. You’re supposed to be meeting Jake and the rest of the team at a restaurant downtown now that the game in Anaheim is over. You would have driven up with Jake but you had some things to finish up in San Diego before the game against the Ducks that evening in Anaheim. The guys had decided to drive to the game instead of taking the jet since it’s basically local and they were anxious to spend a day at home after a long road trip even if they had one last road game before the next stretch in San Diego. You’re wrapping up the last of your preparations, Pudding at your side. She doesn't usually attend away games but your parents came to the game and brought her so she can come home with you and Jake after almost two weeks apart. Jake had offered to take Pudding with him but she’d been glued to your side to his dismay. Now she’s waiting patiently as you load up your gear and various forgotten articles you’d found during a final sweep of the locker room. You swing the trunk shut, ready to be on your way.

You turn to Pudding but she’s nowhere in sight and you panic suddenly, turning to look around the deserted parking garage in fear as you call out for her. You hear a yip in response and follow the sound to a large dumpster in one corner of the garage. Pudding’s jumped on top, balancing on the one open lid, and she’s digging around inside, a distressed whine coming from her as you approach. You’re confused. While you and Pudding have become quite close, you haven’t quite managed to grasp the meaning of all her various noises.

“Pud, what’s wrong, honey?” You ask tentatively as he just whines louder and digs more. You approach the dumpster, trying to see what she’s so upset over. Those aren’t her hungry noises, you know that. When you get closer, she grabs your sleeve with her teeth, dragging you even closer and your brow furrows in concern. Something’s definitely wrong. When Pudding realizes you don’t understand, she huffs before jumping into the trash and you let out a yell of surprise. She digs around in the trash and before you can shout at her to get out her head disappears under the trash. You start calling for her frantically, considering whether you should climb in after her when she starts to resurface and that’s when you hear it. It’s weak and muffled but the whimpers are clear as day once you catch the sound. Pudding’s head comes back up and clutched gently in her teeth is the scruff of a puppy. You let out a cry of surprise as you reach out instantly and Pudding gives you a knowing look before passing you the puppy.

He’s skinny, too skinny and there are cuts and tiny sores on his grayish blue body but you recognize him to be a pitbull puppy and his distressed whimpers and whines tell you he’s terrified. You pull him close, curling around him protectively as Pudding pulls herself out of the dumpster and jumps down next to you. You give him a basic once-over before calling to Pudding and heading to the car. He needs to go to the vet for a proper checkup but from what you can tell, he’s okay.

***

You’re pacing around the exam room. The vet’s cleared the little puppy and prescribed him some medicine to help with the sores. Pudding has climbed up on the exam table and is licking at the tiny puppy lovingly, and he seems to be comfortable with her if not still very anxious. You don’t blame him, it’s a new place with new people and he was abandoned in a dumpster before this. He lets out a little whine and you stop your pacing, making your way over to the two dogs, squatting so you’re eye-level with them before smiling at the little guy. You reach out a hand to stroke his tiny head and he licks your fingers as you giggle. Your heart clenches as you spot the dark patch on his chest that looks a little like a heart.

You’re enjoying the moment when Jake bursts through the door to the room, worry on his face. He turns to you instantly.

“Is she okay, what happened?” You’d texted him letting him know you’d be late or possibly miss dinner due to an emergency trip to the vet. You stand up, giving him a shy smile as you gesture to the little pup curled under Pudding’s chin.

“Meet Taz,” you whisper and he whips his head around in confusion until his eyes find the little gray bundle, widening in surprise. He squats down then, reaching a tentative finger out to stroke Taz’s tiny head.

“Hey there little buddy,” he whispers softly and Taz rubs up against his hand. Jake’s face breaks into a grin and scratches behind his ears gently. “Where’d you find this little angel?” Jake asks, turning to look up at you. You shake your head.

“I didn’t, Pudding did. He was buried in a dumpster in the Ducks’ parking garage. Pain passes across Jake’s face as he turns back to the dogs, reaching his other hand to scratch Pudding’s head.

“Good girl, you did so good,” he praises and you can’t help the smile that creeps up your cheeks. “You’re ready to be big sister, huh?” He asks, turning back to you. “So, Taz?” There’s more than one question in his eye and you nod.

“Like the Tasmanian Devil, since we’re already Bugs and Lola.” You shrug as he grins. “I know we talked about waiting, but I feel like we found him for a reason,” you give him a nervous look, “if you’re ready that is?” Jake’s eyes soften, leaning down to kiss Taz’s little head before standing to wrap you in his arms, kissing your head next.

“I’m ready if you are, Bunny.” You nod against his chest.

“I think I am,” you smile and pull back to see Jake smiling too.

“Then I guess our family’s growing by one,” he says, reaching down to scoop up Taz as he ruffles Pudding’s fur with his other hand, his arm looped around you, and you curl against his side, smiling contentedly.

The door to the exam room opens and the doctor walks in, smiling. “You must be Dad, what’s the verdict?” She looks excitedly between the two of you and you smile, leaning back against Jake as he presses another kiss to your head shamelessly.

“We’re keeping him,” Jake confirms and she grins at him, clapping her hands excitedly.

“Congratulations! I’m having my nurses draw up some paperwork and then we can talk about whether you want to get his preliminary vaccinations taken care of today or if you want to wait to take him to your family vet.”

***

That night you’re exhausted by the time you get home. Jake stopped by the pet store to grab some necessities for Taz while you took the puppies home. You left Taz in Pudding’s care while you hopped in the shower. When you pad back into the living room, Jake’s sitting on the floor next to a smaller dog bed he’s placed right by Pudding’s that Taz is currently exploring while Jake watches. You walk up behind him, pressing your legs to his back.

“Hey, did you get everything?” Jake nods, tilting his head back to look up at you. You return his fond smile as you sit down next to him and Taz nervously trots over to you and you scoop him up, nuzzling him against your cheek.

“Hi, sweet boy, are you getting all settled in?” You coo softly and you can feel Jake watching. He places a kiss to the part of your shoulder that’s bared by his shirt being too big on you.

“See Bunny? You’re not a bad mom.” He whispers against your skin and you feel your heart squeeze. “Thank you,” he says then you turn to look at him, pulling Taz against your chest where he snuggles in.

“For what?” You ask as Jake lays his forehead against yours.

“For growing this family of ours, and for bringing us something that’s truly ours equally.”

“Well it didn’t seem fair that you’re outnumbered by the girls in your own home,” you tease and he bumps his nose against yours playfully.

“Something tells me he’s going to be a momma’s boy and then you’ll all still outnumber me anyway,” you giggle at that.

“Well if it makes you feel better, I think Pudding has the two of us beat for favorite,” you point out as Taz wiggles out of your grip as Pudding comes over to lie on her bed and then he’s attempting to climb onto it beside her. She watches for a few moments before giving in and reaching over to grip the scruff of his neck between her teeth gently and lifting him up onto the bed. He immediately snuggles up against her and she nuzzles his tiny head with her nose.

You see Jake watching them with a fond look in his eye and lean over to kiss his cheek. “You’re MY favorite, though. Always will be.” He smiles at that.

“You’re my favorite too, Bunny.” The two of you watch as the puppies snuggle up next to each other and you swear you feel your heart grow a size bigger as your family does too.

#san diego dogfighters au #San Diego dogfighters #San Diego dogfighters hockey au #snitches get stitches // goldenseresinretriever #sgs // goldenseresinretriever #jake hangman seresin x you #jake seresin x you #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin #top gun maverick hockey au #top gun maverick #top gun #TGM #no use of y/n

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goldenseresinretriever · 4 months ago

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False Confidence Masterlist

Pairing: Javy “Coyote” Machado x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe

Summary: The Athletic named Javy Machado the fifth sluttiest player in the NHL last year. He’s a known playboy who leaves every game with a different girl. As far as he’s concerned he’s living the dream, playing his dream job with the dream lifestyle. Unfortunately his friends and bosses don’t agree. At 33, they think it’s time for him to settle down. You’re a kindergarten teacher at an esteemed private school. You don't expect much when you finally accept your colleague’s invitation to attend her husband’s hockey game but when you accidentally get separated in the post-game rush, you find yourself in a compromising situation with the last person you’d ever expected to meet. When his PR rep suggests a mutually beneficial agreement, your hands are tied. How long will you have to keep up the act? And how long will you be able to?

Series CW: 18+ ONLY, swearing, angst, fluff, fake relationship, suggestive language, anxiety, school system inaccuracies, hockey inaccuracies etc. There will be individual chapter warnings. No use of Y/N.

A/N: This is a partial repost and continuation of my series False Confidence that originally started in March 2023 and was lost when my blog was deleted.

Main Series

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Oneshots

Nothing here yet!

Blurbs

Nothing here yet!

#san diego dogfighters au #San Diego dogfighters #San Diego dogfighters hockey au #false confidence // goldenseresinretriever #fc // goldenseresinretriever #javy machado x reader #javy machado #Javy Machado x you #javy coyote machado #Javy Coyote Machado x reader #Javy Coyote Machado x you #coyote x reader #Coyote x you #top gun maverick hockey au #top gun maverick #top gun #TGM #no use of y/n

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goldenseresinretriever · 2 months ago

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False Confidence: Chapter 13

Pairing: Javy “Coyote” Machado x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe

Word Count: 6.1k

A/N: I’m back!!! Thank you to everyone who waited so patiently for this update! It’s been a long time coming and I’m glad to be settled to the point where I can start writing again!

Previous Chapter // Series Masterlist // Next Chapter

Not many things in your life have been as hard as having to leave Seattle the morning after Valentine’s Day. You and Javy had stayed up all night, walking around the Seattle center after the Space Needle, and eventually heading back to his hotel room. Despite your initial nerves, the two of you had sat on his couch and simply talked until Josie knocked on the door to let you know it was time to go. You’d felt the physical heartache as you forced yourself to walk through his door and you know it must have been showing on your face because Javy simply grabbed his jacket and tagged along in the Uber to the airport, keeping an arm around you without another word. Despite that extra half hour together you still held him tight as the Uber lingered for Reuben and Javy at the deserted drop-off area.

While you’re extremely thankful to Josie for the Valentine’s Day surprise, it’s made the rest of your week unbearable, and you could barely do anything but watch the clock, waiting for Friday. Things have gotten even harder now that you know that Javy’s back in town. He’s just on the other side of town and you can barely hold yourself back. You still have a day of work and Javy’s probably exhausted from the road trip. You tell yourself that he’s at home, asleep, and you shouldn’t bother him, that you shouldn’t be so desperate, and yet you’re aching to text him and ask if he wants to grab dinner because you’re not sure you can wait until your plans tomorrow to see him.

You’ve resorted to turning your phone off and banishing it to the bottom of your deepest desk drawer and throwing yourself into your teaching to try and keep your mind off him. It was working, for the most part at least, but now that your students have been dropped off in the cafeteria for lunch and you’re faced with your empty classroom, your thoughts run wild in the space. Josie’s not even here to keep you company. She took the kids off-campus for lunch to meet up with Reuben. You have no idea how Josie’s done this for ten years, and you’re even more impressed with how adaptable the Fitch kids are. You’ve always known it must be hard, not having their dad around so much, but now that you’re right there alongside them in the trenches, you feel their pain acutely.

You drum your fingers on your desk as you debate releasing your phone from its prison if only just to distract yourself from the silence in the room contrasting with the loudness of your mind. Your fingers itch for the distraction, and you’re so in your own head that you almost miss the knock on your door. Head whipping up from where you were scrutinizing the wood grain of your desk, your heart leaps into your throat as you meet the pair of dark brown eyes peering through the window into your classroom. Your body moves before your brain, tripping over your own feet and your chair as you scramble towards the door as it swings open. Your legs give up their struggle with the chair and you go tumbling into Javy’s arms as he runs over to catch you and you let out a screech of surprise.

“Hi,” you breathe out on an exhale as you stare up at him where you’re crumpled awkwardly as he holds you up.

“Hi,” he says fondly as he smiles down at you and you bask in the warmth of his expression as he helps you find your footing.

“What are you doing here?” You can’t keep the wonder out of your voice as you’re tempted to reach out and touch his face to make sure he’s really here. He chuckles as he leans down and bumps your foreheads together.

“I missed you,” he says like it’s nothing but it sends your heart racing and you swear he can feel it pounding through your skin.

“I missed you too,” you feel your cheeks heat at the admission, at speaking the words that have been echoing in your head all week and you’re heart stops as his face brightens into a boyish smile at your words. You can’t stop yourself from kissing the smile off his face and he leans into your touch, reciprocating in kind. Kissing Javy feels like making up for lost time, it fills you up in a way that feels like bottling up sunshine, reenergizing you like you run on the solar energy that comes from simply being in his presence.

When you break apart, you can’t tear yourself far, hovering close to him and he seems to feel the same way until he pauses like something’s just occurred to him and he turns behind him and you follow him with your eyes as he scoops up a brown paper bag that’s fallen onto the floor and comes back over to you. “I brought lunch,” he explains and you’re glowing all over again as he leads you over to your desk and hands you the sandwiches he got from a place near his apartment. The food tastes spectacular but you’re pretty sure that has more to do with the company than the food itself.

Javy asks about your week and you ask him about his. You’ve had at least some idea of what he's been up to since you spent Thursday evening at the Fitch’s to watch the Colorado game together. He leans into you conspiratorially when you ask how Denver was and you try to ignore the way the proximity makes your heart skip. “I think Bradley almost proposed,” he whispers and your eyes widen in surprise. You don’t know Bradley as well as you know Zam, now that you’ve been welcomed into a group chat with the other girls since your art show, but you know from Zam that she and Bradley are particularly close.

“Didn’t they just get together a few months ago?!” You squawk indignantly and Javy laughs as he nods.

“They even broke up for a bit in December, but that’s Bradley.” Javy shrugs.

“Wait how do you know? Did he tell you?” You ask and Javy barks out a laugh.

“Bradley’s a locked vault, Meep, and only Zam has that key. But according to her, next time they go out for pizza in Denver, the team has to come because a certain someone has no self-control.” He shrugs nonchalantly but you can see conspiratorial mirth dancing in his eyes and you can’t help the giggle that bubbles out of you. The two of you sink into a comfortable silence as you eat, content just to be in each other’s presence after the time apart before Javy breaks it.

“By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask,” you arch an eyebrow silently as you chew, “do you think you’d be able to come to our away game in Dallas next month? It’s on a Saturday so you’d be back in time for school on Monday, and I’d take care of the tickets, but it could be fun.”

“I’d have to look at the exact date, but I should be free, yeah.” You say, smiling shyly at the fact that he’s inviting you to an away game. Somehow it feels different than going to a home game. “Of course, I’d love to come,” your heart thuds at the ease that those four letters fall off your tongue. The relief on his face is apparent and you’re confused by how it contrasts the excitement dancing in his eyes. Your head cocks in suspicion but where you’d normally bury the feeling and wallow as your anxiety sows the seeds of distrust, you feel the urge to confront Javy. Maybe it’s because he’s always been painfully honest with you. No matter how well he seems to think he is at hiding his secrets and emotions, he wears his heart on his sleeve. Maybe you can learn to do the same. “There’s more, what aren’t you telling me?” His eyes widen in surprise and you feel your heart thunder in your ears at his confirmation that he’s hiding something. It makes your stomach turn sour even as your brain screams for you to hear him out before you pull away, retreating into the hermit-crab shell in your mind.

“I…” he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “It’s not that I’m hiding it, I just…” he shakes his head. “I didn’t want to overwhelm you, especially when you’re still at work, and I didn’t want you thinking that I was making assumptions or moving things too fast.” He’s still walking around the truth, treading carefully as he tries to slow you down and grab your metaphorical hand before you can run for the hills.

“And?” You hate how small your voice sounds. You’re supposed to be getting better. Javy’s brought you out of your shelf over the past month along with all your new friends, but it seems old habits die hard. You see something you can’t read pass through his eyes at the tone of your voice.

“My mom wants to meet you,” he says with a resigned sigh, and your brow furrows in confusion. You’d expected a lot of things, but not this. “Well my sisters too, but my mom specifically. I told her about you, about us,” you watch his hand twitch like he’s holding back from reaching for yours. “And she said she wants to meet you. The whole family usually comes up to Dallas for our away games there and she asked me to bring you.” He pauses before adding, “If you want to obviously, she didn’t ask me to kidnap you or anything.” The last addition makes a small laugh bubble up in your throat and you let it slip out to watch Javy’s shoulders relax at the sound.

You nod after a pause. “Sure, Javy, I’d love to meet your family,” your heart squeezes gently as you watch the nerves holding Javy stiff release him from their grip and you wonder if that’s what you always look like to him. “Thanks for telling me,” you murmur, a mirror of what you tell your students when you successfully get them to open up. He nods, but you can tell something’s still bothering him so you reach over and take his hand in yours, rubbing reassuring circles on the back of his hand.

“I didn’t mean to lie to you, I mean it.” You give him a gentle smile but he’s not looking at you, instead, his eyes are focused on your joined hands. You reach your other hand to guide his chin up to look at you, trying not to get distracted by the feel of his smooth, warm skin under your fingertips.

“It’s okay, Javy. I mean it. I didn’t like you trying to keep it from me, but I understand why you did, and you apologized and I accept that apology. You’re okay. We’re okay.” You reassure him and you watch his deep brown eyes search yours before the uneasiness slowly creeps out of them. His fingers close around yours in his lap and he turns his head to brush his lips against your fingers still on his chin.

“Thank you,” His voice is soft like he’s still a little unsure, but then he shakes his head like he’s fighting to keep words inside his mouth. “Are we still on for tomorrow, Meep?” You can’t stop the way your face blossoms into a smile at the mention of tomorrow and you nod enthusiastically.

“Are you going to tell me what you have planned?” You ask, trying to hide how desperate you’re becoming. Javy’s promised that he has top-secret plans for your belated Valentine’s Day plans but he’s been annoyingly vague about them since he asked you to save the day for him.

“And ruin the surprise?” He raises a cocky eyebrow that makes you scowl. He brushes another kiss to your fingers. “Not a chance.” You pout at him and he looks like he’s fighting a grin. “So impatient,” he mocks and you roll your eyes, removing your hand from his chin with a scoff that lacks any real strength. Your attention is caught by the beginnings of movement outside the classroom and your heart aches subtly at the realization that he’ll have to leave in a moment and you’ll have to return to your work like he didn’t just blow through the door and lift your mood exponentially. Once again you feel the urge to ask him if he has dinner plans but your anxiety holds you back from possibly overstepping. He’s already taken time out of his precious day off to come and bring you lunch, you don’t want it to feel like you’re smothering him. Javy’s eyes dart to the window in your door, clocking the motion outside as well and you’re convinced that you see his shoulders slump slightly, but it’s likely your own delusion. “Guess I should get out of your hair,” he says, before coming back to look at you. Normally, you’d feel uncomfortable, being the subject of a person’s undivided attention but you don’t with Javy. His eyes rove over you like he’s recommitting your features to memory and you feel your cheeks heat as you take advantage of his distractedness to do the same. You can see the exhaustion from the past week lingering under his eyes and your heart aches slightly at the idea of how exhausted he must be as guilt twists your stomach. He should be home, asleep, or at the very least getting some rest.

“Get some rest, Javy,” you implore softly and he smiles gently in response.

“Don’t you worry about me, Meep, you just have a good day.” Your brows pinch together indignantly.

“I mean it, Javy.” Your voice is sharper, your teacher voice slipping through.

Javy chuckles. “Yes, Ms. Roadie,” he sing-songs, imitating your students and you roll your eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” Your brow relaxes and you nod.

“I’ll be there,” you assure him before adding, “That is as long as you tell me where we’re going.” You give him a pointed look.

He gives you a mysterious smile, “All good things to those who wait, Meep.” You’re about to protest again but the sounds outside your classroom rise in volume and you know your time together is almost up. Anxiety at the idea of Javy leaving knaws at your stomach and before you can stop yourself, you’ve reached out, arms wrapping around Javy in a tight hug. His body starts with surprise under you but he reciprocates before you can draw away and second-guess your decision. “I’m tired of waiting,” you know you sound petulant as you grumble the words into his chest, but his chuckle in your ear reassures you that he knows your words go deeper than your plans tomorrow and he feels the same.

“I’m tired of waiting, too, Meep.” He reassures you and you heave out a sigh, relishing the feeling of being in his arms for a moment longer.

***

Your knee bounces particularly hard and slams into the steering wheel as you drum your fingers on it, waiting for the light to turn green. You’ve spent the last week brainstorming ideas of what Javy’s grand plans for today would entail but instead, he surprised you by texting you last night to meet him at the arena, which seems odd since he has the day off, but you didn’t question it, knowing he probably has something in mind. He told you to dress warm but the anxiety gnawing at your gut has your brain convinced that the sleeves of your sweater are itchy. You scratch your arm for what seems like the hundredth time as you gaze at Hard Deck Arena looming ahead of you as the light finally turns green.

As expected, the private parking garage is almost empty but you spot Javy’s Land Rover and you park next to it. A quick peer inside the neighboring car confirms that Javy’s not there. You’ve been to the arena a few times now but you still can’t shake the feeling that you’re intruding as you step out of the car, wiping your sweaty palms off on your jeans before you make your way to the door and swiping the guest pass Zam hooked you up with a few weeks back.

The hallways are eerily quiet with the day off and the normally raucous atmosphere of the players and staff being absent. You pause, halfway down a dimly lit hallway, fishing your phone out of your pocket before you call Javy. You don’t hear a phone ring in your vicinity and you can’t help but feel a sense of foreboding. Did he stand you up? Even worse, are the lights about to come on and reveal a hidden camera? Is this all a prank? A familiar sense of unease twists your stomach and your heartbeat is so loud in your ears that you miss the click of the line picking up.

“Meep, are you here?” Javy’s voice in your ear makes you jump and you spin around like you’re expecting him to appear behind you.

“Javy?” You question the shadows around you. He chuckles in your ear.

“Hold on, Meep, I’m coming to get you. Hang tight.” His voice stops but the line doesn’t cut, a quiet reminder that you’re not alone except for the sounds of his muffled footsteps on the other side of the line as you do your best to ignore the dimly lit hallway around you as you await his arrival.

Contrary to his explicit instructions to you, Javy’s wearing a fitted t-shirt, arms bare and glowing under the dim LEDs as he jogs down the hallway towards you, grinning boyishly. He takes you by surprise when he doesn’t stop, barreling into you and sweeping you into his arms as you let out a squeal of surprise, arms instinctively reaching for his neck to hold on tight as your feet leave the ground. “Hi,” his voice is breathless with giddiness as he greets you, dark eyes boring into your own, mouth spread in a wide grin as he holds your body against his, the heat radiating off him a comfortable aura that you’re shamelessly drawn to.

“Hi,” you breathe back as the air comes back into your lungs and you gaze at him, lips slightly parted in surprise. Your mind goes back to yesterday and you nervously let the words on your tongue escape, heart fluttering at the vulnerable honestly. “I missed you.” His face is like the sun as he beams at you, surely a mirror of yours yesterday when he let the same admission slip. He rubs his nose against yours affectionately, the warmth rolling off his skin in waves meeting the shy heat of yours.

“I missed you too, Meep.” Your body relaxes instantly, reassured the moment he reciprocates. He puts you down then, but even once your feet are safe on the ground again, he keeps you caged in his arms, pressed tightly against him. He doesn’t seem keen on inviting space between your bodies and you’re hard-pressed to argue.

“So,” your curiosity bubbles to the surface from where it’s been percolating all week. “What are we doing here?” You ask, and you watch boyish mirth dance in Javy’s eyes as his lips quirk into a ghost of a smirk.

“So impatient,” he teases, leaning down to peck your cheek as your skin tightens beneath his lips as you scowl at him, no anger behind the twist of your lips. He chuckles as he pecks your pouted lips, effectively sending your brain into a tizzy. It’s still getting used to all this casual attention after years spent lacking it. “Alright then, my little roadrunner, let’s go,” your body instantly bemoans the loss of contact he pulls away but he makes up for it, sliding his hand unto yours and lacing your fingers together like he too can’t bear to not be touching.

He leads you down the dimly lit hallway with a familiarity you envy. Your feet almost stumble as you reach a slight incline and then you catch sight of light at the top. When you emerge into the arena, the contrast of the blindingly bright LEDs compared to the dimness your eyes have adjusted to makes you blink rapidly, struggling to adjust quickly to get your bearings. The cooler air confirms your suspicion until your eyes adjust to the blinding sight of the lights bouncing off the white of the ice rink. Javy waits patiently next to you as your eyes adjust and your frown of discomfort shifts into one of confusion. He clocks the difference and leads you through a clear door into the bench area. You’ve seen it through the glass before but you’ve never been in here. It seems laughably small considering that it’s meant to house several dozen men in bulky gear. You make your way to the boards that you’ve watched the boys swing over effortlessly, eyes widening as you see where it falls in comparison to your body, realizing exactly how much upper body strength it must take. You’re not sure you could do it, let alone piled under the extra pounds of hockey gear. You shake your head in disbelief before turning to where Javy’s watching you, seated on the bench.

“This is amazing,” he grins at your words.

“Just wait until we get out there, Meep.” He says, grin widening as your stomach drops and the puzzle pieces start falling into place.

“Out. There?” You squeak even as your brain has already descended into chaos as you glance from Javy’s smiling face to the white ice stretching out ahead of you. Anxiety rises up and claws up your throat as you realize exactly what Javy has planned. “Oh,” the word is a soft exhale and it must betray your fear because Javy reaches for your hands, pulling you closer and turning you to face him. “I can’t skate.” The words flood past your lips, splattering into the floor between you, laced with nerves and fear and you watch Javy’s eyes soften. He rubs circles into the flesh of your hands where they’ve started to tremble in his hold.

“I know, Meep,” he says and it doesn’t reassure you. “Nat told me, so I figured maybe I could teach you.” Your eyes widen in surprise as you slowly put things together. You look away from his gentle gaze back to the rink, the bright expanse daunting as it glows back at you. You swallow, fear sticking in your throat. Javy lets go of one of your hands, reaching to turn your chin back towards him, cupping your cheek, and sweeping his thumb across your trembling skin. “It’s okay,” he soothes gently. “I won’t let you fall.” The words are like hot water, thawing the ice of the nerves encasing your heart. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. You believe him.

His smile turns rueful as he squeezes the hand still holding yours. “It’s okay if you don’t want to, though.” Your heart squeezes painfully. “We can get out of here, forget it ever happened. We’ll go get some dinner and then we can eat at my place.” He keeps up the gentle strokes of fingers against your skin. Your nerves are still present, deep in your stomach, licking painfully at your gut but your heart glows at Javy’s words. “Don't worry about it, either. This day is for you. If you’re not comfortable, it’s not worth it.” The aching of your heart is overwhelming, drowning out the twisting of your stomach and you shake your head.

“No, I want to.” Your voice doesn’t sound convincing so you clear your throat, squeezing his hand in yours. “I’ll be okay. I want to try at least.” He smiles, soft, as he scans your face, looking for any signs that your words aren’t genuine. When he’s convinced you aren’t doing this for him, he tugs your hand, gently, standing and switching places, carefully guiding you to sit on the bench as he stands in front of you.

“Sit tight,” he says and you nod as he steps over the bench to fuss with something behind you. While you wait, you nervously bring your gaze back to the ice rink. It looks cold and unforgiving. A thought pops into your mind as you wait for Javy.

“Javy, I don’t have skates,” the words die on your lips as he steps back in front of you, and your eyes fall on the box he’s holding in his hands. It’s clumsily wrapped in pink patterned paper with a bow awkwardly perched on top and he hands you it, an embarrassed smile on his face.

“Sorry, it’s not the neatest job. I probably should have just gone with a bag, but I’d already committed to the paper, and I figured since it was just a box it couldn’t be that hard.” Your eyes soften as he blubbers in front of you and you take his hand in yours, squeezing gently.

“I love it.” You reassure him and you watch the nerves seep out of his body, shoulders slumping in relief. You let go of his hand so you can unwrap the box on your lap, being careful not to tear the paper too much. You know you’re going to want to keep it. Maybe you’ll try your hand at a mixed-media piece and you can find a way to incorporate it. Adding some of his work into yours. The box inside is nondescript and you open it, breath catching in surprise as you unfold the tissue paper inside to reveal its contents.

The blades of the skates sparkle under the bright lights and you reach a curious finger out to run along the surface. The skates are simple but beautiful. As you reach to pull one out to examine it better, the paper falls away and your heart clenches as a simple detail catches your eye. Along the ankle portion of the skate is a custom patch depicting the Looney Tunes Roadrunner. A surprised laugh bubbles up your throat as you run a revenant finger along the patch. When you lift the skate, you see a matching patch of Wile E. Coyote on the other skate. Your lips quirk into a smile as you look up at Javy where he’s watching you.

“They’re perfect,” you assure him and his smile widens. “I love them, thank you Javy,” you reach for him awkwardly, trying not to drop the box on your lap and he closes the gap so you can give him a hug. When he pulls away, he drops to one knee in front of you, easing the skate box off your lap and placing it on the floor by your feet he holds out a hand, and you flush as you offer him your leg, feeling silly as you watch him carefully remove your shoe and guides the skate onto your socked foot, lacing up the skate, glancing up to make sure he hasn’t pulled it too tight.

When he finishes, he takes a seat next to you, lacing his skates up with a practiced speed. Then he stands, and you gawk, looking down to see how he’s standing balanced on the blades, your nerves quickly resurfacing at the idea of having to do the same. He clocks your expression and gives you a gentle smile as he steps over to you, holding out his hands. “I told you, Meep. I won’t let you fall.” You swallow, hard, before placing your trembling fingers in his. Javy’s brow furrows and he bends down, rummaging through the box at your feet, before he produces a pair of gloves and guides them into your shaking hands. Then he laces your fingers together again. “Ready?” You nod and he squeezes your linked hands and pulls, gently helping you ease off the bench. You’re surprised when balancing isn’t as hard as you expected.

Javy carefully leads you across the rubber flooring to the small door in the boards, slipping through and holding it open with his hip and you stare at the ice. “Whenever you’re ready, take your time,” Javy says comfortingly, waiting patiently for you. You swallow before raising a trembling leg and placing your skate on the ice. You feel the blade slide through the ice and gasp. Javy’s hand tightens on yours and you look up from the ice to meet his eyes. “I’ve got you,” he reassures you and you squeeze his other hand and carefully step your other foot onto the ice. Your footing is much less sure now, and your legs tremble like a baby deer as your wide eyes go from the ice to Javy’s. “There you go, look at you, Meep. You’re doing it.” His pride is a little premature, you know that, but your chest still swells under his praise. “You ready to move?” You swallow, throat feeling dry, but you manage to nod anyway. He carefully pushes off, still holding tightly to your hand and he skates backward, effortlessly, slowly pulling you after him.

“Javy!” The surprise of how easily he moves and the strange feeling of gliding behind him forces the cry out of your mouth. Your weight feels unbalanced and your feet not having a proper grip on the ground is disorienting.

Javy slows to a stop, pulling you in so you’re close to him. Your hands grip his forearms tightly. “Easy, Meep, I’ve got you. Okay so to balance you’re going to want to bring your center of gravity lower, kind of reach for your knees. I’m going to let you go and-”

“NO!” You shout, fear gripping your heart at the idea of having to let go of Javy.

“Hey, hey,” Javy placates gently as your wild eyes find his. He’s calm and you force yourself to focus on him, to even your breathing. “Even if I let go, I’m right here, okay? I won’t let you fall. The moment you need me, I’ll be right here.” You swallow, hard. You’re scared which you know is ridiculous. The worst thing that can happen to you is that you fall and Javy’s reassured you that he’ll catch you if you do. You need to trust him. You do trust him. Despite the racing of your heart, you nod weakly.

“Okay,” you hate how small your voice sounds. “Okay, I can try.” Javy beams down at you.

“That’s my girl,” he praises and you feel your entire body go hot. His words echo in your ears with your heartbeat and you feel stronger. “Okay, I’m going to let go, okay? Just reach for your knees, you won’t fall.” Your heart thunders as Javy’s fingers slip from yours and you feel yourself start to wobble. “Reach for your knees,” Javy’s voice breaks through your panic and you feel your center of gravity shift as you alter your stance, the wobbling evening out. Your eyes widen in surprise.

“I did it!” You cry, grinning giddily up at Javy and he grins back.

“You did it!” He reassures you and then skates back a few feet, holding his hand out. “Now try to move. See if you can come over to me. Just remember, it’s not like walking. Think about how you used to skid around in your socks as a kid.” You decide against pointing out that you still do that now. “You’re going to move with your knees and push.” He skates over to you slowly and your brows furrow in concentration as you watch his motions, committing them to memory so you can try and replicate them. “Here,” he skates over to stand beside you, “just copy me, and if you start to slip, I’ll grab you.” You watch his leg and follow with your own. Your attention is glued to his legs and replicating his movements. “There you go, you’re doing it!” Javy’s cheers snap your attention from his legs and you realize how far across the rink you’ve moved. Your eyes widen and you forget to move your feet. Unfortunately, unlike on the floor, when you stop moving your feet, you don’t stop moving and you continue to glide forward. You squawk in surprise as you realize you have no idea how to stop.

“Javy! Javy, I don’t know how to stop!” You shout and Javy’s quick to skate in front of you.

“Okay, easy now,” Javy says as your panic rises. “You’re going to bring the tips of your skates in, like the point of an arrow, and keep your weight in the center.” You fight the doubts warring in your mind and try to trust Javy’s instructions, moving your feet slowly, and to your surprise, you slow to a stop right in front of Javy. You gape at your skates attached to feet that don’t feel like yours before looking at Javy who’s wearing a proud grin. “Attagirl! You did it!” He cheers, wrapping you in his arms and you sink into his before realizing that’s probably a bad idea as your combined weights are unbalanced. Javy shifts his weight almost instinctively, keeping the two of you from bowling over. “What did I say, I won’t let you fall, pretty girl.” You feel your cheeks heat as you relish being in his arms. “You did so well, Meep, I’m proud of you.” His pride warms you from head to toe and makes you feel confident. “You all skated out, or do you want to try some more?” He’s giving you an out and your new-found confidence has you shaking your head.

“I think I want to try some more,” you see pride and joy sparkle in his eyes and he helps you rearrange your weight so you can stand on your own again.

“Well then, let’s see what you’ve got, Roadrunner,” he grins at you. “You think this Coyote can catch you?” You know he could without breaking a sweat but you play along.

“We’ll just have to see,” you tease as you carefully start moving across the ice again and Javy follows right behind, sticking close.

***

An hour later, you’re exhausted and your legs are trembling from that rather than nerves as you and Javy sit side by side on the bench, unlacing your skates and trading them for your shoes. Strands of your hair stick to your forehead that’s somehow managed to get a little sweaty despite the chilly air.

“So, did you have fun?” Javy asks as he scoops up his skates, offering you his free hand to help you back to your feet. You nod, a giddy grin still on your face. You weren’t anywhere close to his level of skill but by the end, you were a lot more confident moving across the ice. And Javy had kept his promise, you hadn’t fallen once.

“Thanks for this, Javy, really. I loved it.” He pulls you into his side, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“It was perfect,” he agrees before he pulls away so he can see your face as he asks, “What do you say to doing this again next weekend, maybe with some more company?” You cock your head, confused before he explains. “Next weekend is Family Day, where all the guys bring their girls and their families to the rink. We all just hang out and skate. There’s a potluck after and it’s just a team bonding event. I’ve been meaning to ask you to come but I knew you didn’t know how to skate and I didn’t want you to have to feel pressured to learn in front of a bunch of strangers. So I planned this, and I’d say you’re more than good enough to come if that’s something you want to do.”

Your heart pounds even as it aches at Javy’s concern for your comfort. You nod without a second thought. “I’d love to come, Javy.” You squeeze his hand in yours. “And thanks for looking out for me, I really appreciate it.” He smiles, the relief on his face is like watching the sun come out from behind the clouds and you smile back. “I can’t wait.” You assure him, snuggling against his side and he wraps you in his arms.

“Me neither,” he says and you can’t help but feel that despite the nerves and jitters, today has been perfect. You’re glad you didn’t let your nerves and anxiety ruin this perfect day, and you’re even more thankful to Javy for making you feel safe enough to have this much fun. You wouldn’t have been able to do it without him.

A/N: And with that, the Valentine’s Day festivities come to an end! But there’s plenty more to look forward to on the horizon! Which are you most excited for?

#san diego dogfighters au #san diego dogfighters #san diego dogfighters hockey au #false confidence // goldenseresinretriever #fc // goldenseresinretriever #javy coyote machado x you #javy machado x you #javy coyote machado x reader #javy machado x reader #javy coyote machado #javy machado #coyote x you #coyote x reader #top gun maverick #top gun maverick hockey au #tgm #top gun #no use of y/n

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goldenseresinretriever · 4 months ago

Text

False Confidence: Chapter 11

Pairing: Javy “Coyote” Machado x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe

Word Count: 4.1k

A/N: I planned to wait until 5pm but fuck it, we ball

Previous Chapter // Series Masterlist // Next Chapter

You pick at the knit fabric of your sweater before you remember how much it cost and forcibly pull your arms back to your sides. The sweater and skirt you’re wearing under it are another product of your shopping spree with Nat and you’d secretly chosen it for today, planning of course to find some Javy-related event to wear it to later to justify putting it on his card. You couldn’t help it, you wanted something special for tonight. After an anxiety-ridden week spent pacing your living room every night trying to choose the pieces you wanted to showcase, it’s finally the night of your gallery showing. Pop-up gallery, you remind yourself. It’s a one-night event, promising minimal exposure for your art, but the idea of hanging it somewhere that’s not on your walls is enough to have you bouncing on your feet as you overanalyze your canvases currently hanging on the wall. You didn’t have the budget for the ornate frames you secretly envision your pieces inhabiting so the naked canvases are on display and you try not to let it bug you. Your little area is flanked by plenty of other artists, ranging in notoriety. None of them are particularly mainstream, but you’ve heard of a few of them on social media including the one hosting the event.

You’ve only been allowed five pieces tonight, but you know even that is more than nothing. Hanging in the center is the piece Nat had complimented and then gone on to text you about multiple times this week insisting that you include it in the gallery exhibition. You gaze at it as you bounce on the balls of your feet. The gallery should be opening anytime now, and while Nat promised to swing by sometime tonight, you aren’t expecting any other company. Your art has always been something intimate and personal, and you don’t talk about it often. Most people don’t know you paint, and even those who do rarely get a glimpse of your art. Despite your unwillingness to share it with the people in your life, you long for the world to see it, just perhaps not those who know anything about the artist. You tell yourself that you want your paintings to speak for themselves instead of adding to your friends’ perception of you. In reality, you’re probably afraid of criticism, of them seeing the darkest parts of yourself, unveiled and hung on a wall for their scrutiny. What if they don’t like what they see?

The painting of the bay makes your stomach twist. You don’t usually paint scenes from your life, rather using your experiences and emotions and pouring them into whatever your brush creates out of them. This painting feels oddly intimate, but you assure yourself that it shouldn’t. The only person who could possibly recognize it is Javy and he won’t ever see it. To the rest of the world, it’s simply another piece in your collection. Your eyes trace the canvas, slowly but surely making their way to the nondescript figures in the corner. Your heart tugs painfully as you’re taken back to that night, remembering the storm in your head and the way he’d quieted it with a single touch.

“Holy shit, Meep, this is amazing,” you almost think you hear his voice and chuckle to yourself. That is until you hear it again and feel a body step closer to you, the air between you crackling with electricity. “You’re amazing,” you turn in surprise, face transforming as you run through a thousand emotions at once. Shock at his sudden appearance, surprise that he’s here, terror that he’s here, and joy because he’s here. Your lips part in shocked surprise as you stare at Javy, standing next to you, eyes glued to the canvas in front of him, a bouquet of tiger lilies in his arms.

“Javy?” Your voice comes out choked with the emotion you can barely contain. He’s here. What’s he doing here? He turns to you and the strength of his smile almost sends you to your smile. “What? What are you doing here?” You stammer, as your brain fires at a mile a minute as it tries to understand how.

“Meep, as disappointed as I am that you didn’t tell me about this, I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”

“B-but how?” Your brain has descended into a world of gray static as you stare at this man standing here, who showed up for you when you didn’t even ask.

“Nat said the gallery opened at 8, but she’s running late because she’s always running late. I would get used to that, by the way, she doesn’t mean anything about it, she’s just always been that way-” You cut him off as you throw your arms around his neck and seal your lips against his.

***

You’re kissing him. Javy’s brain short-circuits. He’d expected a lot of things when he arrived here without an invitation. Nat had mentioned that you’d seemed surprised that she’d even wanted to come, and he was sure you’d already be overwhelmed by the event itself, and even more by Nat’s presence since he knows she can come on strong. Not to mention that it sounded like she essentially invited herself to the event. He knows he’s not much better, but you’ve been entertaining a lot of his antics. You’ve come to games, you’d come with him to the auction, and on top of that, you somehow hadn’t blocked him despite all the silly texts he’s been peppering him with. Not to mention that he wants to be here. He’s wanted to see your art since you first mentioned it, but you’ve never offered. You’re even protective over your home, which he’s realized is at least partially due to your art being all over the living room according to Nat. Today is different. If the public gets to see your art, he should count as a member of the public, right? He’s brought the flowers as a peace offering. That and he can’t erase the look on your face when he gave them to you out of his mind.

He’d expected you to be good, you’re a hard worker and determined. You put your all into everything you do, and he’s sure it would translate to your art as well. He hadn’t expected to be so completely blown away, though. He almost feels silly, having taken you to that auction, paying such high prices for someone else’s art for his home when he’d rather have your work all over his walls. Especially the piece in the center. He recognizes it immediately, the stretch of road off the coast of the bay where he’d been scared he’d lose you before he’d even gotten to know you. The cliffs, the highway the water churning below, are all painted in various shades of dark moody blue, and there in the corner, a pair of indestinct figures locked in an embrace. Suddenly all his feelings are at the front of his mind, and he wonders nervously if maybe you feel for him a fraction of what he feels for you and it sends his heart into a tizzy.

Then there’s the look on your face. He watches every emotion process clear as day as panic slams against his ribcage, afraid of overwhelming you, afraid of hurting you, afraid of ruining your evening, afraid of ruining everything. Then before he can find the words, words to apologize, words to try and calm you in an effort to calm himself, your arms around his neck, and your lips are on his.

He can’t breathe but if this is what not breathing feels like, he never wants to take another breath. Your lips are soft, so damn soft. How does he not remember them being this soft? Though the initial kiss was full of adrenaline-fueled determination, he can feel you begin to falter, your lack of experience threatening to let the nerves win so he kisses you back, meeting your hunger with his own, doing his best to control himself from pinning you against the wall like the piece of art that you are. He lets his hands find your waist, hauling you impossibly close as your fingers twist into the fabric of his turtleneck, holding on for dear life as he kisses it out of you. He guides your lips with his own and you’re the perfect student, as your nerves melt and you let your body respond to him. He registers a sticky texture on your lips and almost groans against your mouth as he recognizes it as the gloss you’d worn to the art show. He’d been desperate to kiss it off you that night and he takes the opportunity to do it now. His tongue darts past his lips to taste it before he can stop himself but your soft whimper in response tells him it’s okay. He almost sinks to his knees right there at the sound.

***

Your brain turns to mush as you feel Javy’s lips move against your own. His hands find your waist in a way that’s simple, perfectly respectable, and yet the force that he’s gripping you threatens to leave bruises on your skin. Secretly you hope he does so you can assure yourself later that this is real, that you’re really kissing Javy Machado. And he’s kissing you back, returning the hunger that’s been stoked to life in your heart. You feel something wet dart against your lips and your eyes almost roll into the back of your head as you realize it’s his tongue. The deep rumble that comes from his chest after that forces a whimper from your throat. Heat washes over your face as you realize but he doesn’t seem deterred or embarrassed, he just pulls you closer and you go like a moth to a flame.

It’s been so long since you’ve kissed someone and meant it. It feels like falling into a fire and somehow coming back to life after burning down to microscopic ashes. Your heart squeezes in your chest as your brain pounds with the realization. He wants you. He wants you back. He wants you too. You want it to last forever, even as you grip Javy’s shirt with a desperacy that screams at him not to slip through your finger. That screams at you not to be the butt of another joke. But you won’t be, not this time, because he wants you. The cynical voice in your head drowned out by each desperate press of your lips. You want it to last forever even as your lungs beg for relief. Your head and heart are at war and you’re not sure how you’ll make yourself choose that is until a voice breaks through the pounding in your ears.

“Really? Come on, you guys, we’re in public for heaven’s sake.” You reluctantly pull away from Javy and your vision spins as you come back down to the ground. You don’t get very far, Javy’s lips chasing yours until he registers the voice. He groans and you suppress the urge to shudder at the rumble of it against your skin as he leans his forehead to your temple as you turn to face Nat who’s standing with her hands on her hips, a playful look of disapproval on her face as she suppresses the giddy grin fighting it’s way to the surface and you follow her gaze to where the bouquet Javy was holding has fallen to the ground and your cheeks heat in embarrassment.

“Fuck off, Nat,” Javy grumbles, pressing a kiss to the side of your face before turning to pepper the nearby skin with dozens of small pecks.

Nat raises a single eyebrow. “This is Roadie’s big night, Javy, come on, let her have her moment.” He groans against your skin, still not moving.

Your eyes widen as Jake appears behind Nat, coming around the corner, followed by Bugs, Zam, Bradley, Dragon, Bob, Mickey, Reuben, and Josie with the kids. You feel tears well in your eyes as Jake approaches and you realize he’s carrying a cake. He grins and you catch sight of the cake. The edge has been decorated to look like a frame and inside are the words, “You’re a Work of Art, Congratulations Roadie!” You don’t realize you’re crying until Javy pulls you against his side and strokes your hair gently.

“Congrats on the gallery spot, Roadie!” Jake says and suddenly you’re surrounded by these people who are slowly but steadily becoming your friends and you’re sobbing harder as each of them hugs you. When you finally get to Nat you throw yourself into her arms and she squeezes you tight.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” you sob over her shoulder.

“Welcome home, Roadie,” she whispers back and you hold her tighter.

That’s how your first gallery show that you’d spent the whole week stressed out over turns into a party. Everyone sits down on the floor around your wall and Josie expertly cuts the cake that Zam reveals Bradley made, to which you launch onto him to give him a big hug he instantly stiffens in response to before he relaxes and hugs you back. Mickey brought paper plates and soon you’re all eating cake and chatting, and if the other artists give your group dirty looks, you don’t even notice.

You’re leaning against the wall under your paintings when Javy scoots beside you, shoulder brushing yours. “So, is any of the art here for sale?” He asks and you shake your head, gesturing around the room.

“Not exactly, this is different than an actual sale, but I’m sure some artists end up selling if someone shows up and is willing to pay a good price. We come here for publicity and hopefully to make some connections, but if you sell a painting I’d say it’s a pretty good night.” He nods before turning to you.

“And your art? Is it for sale?” Your eyes widen in surprise.

“My art?” He nods. “You want to buy my art?” You stammer, trying to wrap your head around the idea. “I couldn’t make you pay for my art,” you say, frowning and he pokes your forehead with a finger, soothing the frown away.

“You wouldn’t be making me do anything, I want to. After all,” he gives you a pointed look, “it’s the least you can do after letting me pay $50,000 for what you claimed was the perfect centerpiece for my living room.” You frown again and he reaches up to attempt to smooth it away again.

“I meant that, why, did you not like it once you hung it up?”

He chuckles. “I like it just fine, but not as much as this one,” he moves his finger from your forehead to gesture above him to the cliff painting. Your cheeks warm as you follow his finger.

“Javy…”

“I mean it, Meep. I love that painting, more than anything else we saw last week. I love it even more knowing that you painted it.” He leans his head against yours. “I want to buy it.” He turns then and you feel his nose brush your ear as he whispers, “I want to buy my girlfriend’s painting and have it hanging in my house because that’s where it belongs.”

Your cheeks are burning and you feel dizzy as Javy whispers that word. It feels different somehow and you find your lips repeating it, trying it on, trying to reconcile that it’s real. “Girlfriend?” He nods against you.

“If you’ll have me,” he whispers back and you reach down where his hand is splayed between the two of you and lace your fingers together before you turn slightly so his nose slips against yours.

“I’ll have you,” you whisper against his lips and he shudders. This big, strong, proud, cocky man shudders at your words. You look at him in silent awe, committing every bit of his face to memory. His beautifully smooth skin so close to yours, his eyes so dark and yet so bright, dancing with mirth when he doesn’t notice, and those lips, so full and steady and you marvel at the way they’re slightly swollen, your subtle mark on him.

“Like what you see, Meep?” he asks, his voice a soft exhale like he’s trying to avoid breaking your concentration as you stare at him. You hum in affirmation. You want to paint him, to try and capture his likeness even when you know you’d never be able to do him justice, like taking a picture of the moon.

Nat blows a raspberry at the two of you and Javy squeezes his eyes shut like he’s praying for patience. Your cheeks heat as you’re reminded that you’re not alone. Nat winks at you cheekily and you turn back to the group. Jake looks over and gives you a fond smile that you return shyly. You look around at the people who’ve come into your life over the last week and smile as you think over Nat’s world. Maybe they could be your home after all.

***

Javy’s thigh bounces as he watches the screen of his laptop while the video call rings. He’s been abnormally poor about catching up with his family since he met you. Deep down he knows why, but he’s finally decided he needs to say something. He doesn’t doubt that Isa’s opened her mouth since he told her about you but he’s hoping he’s in time to do some if any damage control. His oldest sister is more than capable of reading him for filth and has done so her own fair share of times over the years. Most of the time he deserves it.

The call finally connects the four faces that pop onto the screen. Isadora’s sitting next to his mother and Javy’s once again stricken by how similar they look. Cecilia and Sophia are perched on kitchen stools behind the older women, but even they’re not little girls anymore and Javy finds himself mourning the days when they still looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky. Instead, all four women are wearing the same suspicious look and he heaves a sigh. It’s going to be a long evening.

“Hi Mama,” he starts but before he can continue, her eyes narrow.

“Don’t you ‘hi, mama’ me, Javier,” he swallows, hard. “You haven’t called in almost a month. Don’t think I didn’t notice. I know you’re busy but it looks like you’ve been busier than usual this month.” He swallows, again. “It seems everyone but your own mother knows you have a girlfriend.” She arches a single eyebrow in question and wishes you were here. You’re so much braver than him.

“Fake girlfriend,” Isa clarifies, and Javy closes his eyes as he braces for the onslaught about to come his way.

“Okay but is she a fake girlfriend, if he actually likes her? Doesn’t that just make her a crush, or is that one of those ‘situationship’ things?” Cece pipes up and Phe rolls her eyes.

“Javy doesn’t even know what situationships are, how could he possibly be in one.” Phe points out. His youngest sister has a good point but it doesn’t keep Javy from frowning as Cece gives him a shrewd look.

“Okay, but do you like her, Javy, or did you just tell Isa that as a cover?” Cece asks with an accusatory tone. He suddenly wishes he’d just called every member of his family separately to explain before attempting a group call.

“Why would I even call Isa to ask for help buying her flowers if I didn’t like her? I have female friends, you know.” He points out and Cece rolls her eyes. “I consulted a professional for a reason.”

“And that reason is?” Isa asks even though she knows.

“Look I know what you want me to say but I’m not saying it to you before I say it to her, that’s cheating.”

“Javy, you wouldn’t know cheating if it had its tongue down your throat.” Cece remarks and Javy glares at her even as his stomach roils. She doesn’t know the half of it.

“Well, I’m not saying it, until I tell Roadie, I stand by that. And if you’d let even get two words out, I’d just tell you that she’s my girlfriend. My real girlfriend, not my fake girlfriend, and yes I know the difference. I asked her out yesterday.” He fights the urge to cross his arms defensively as he scowls at the screen. He thinks it might be frozen because for once the figures on the other side don’t say anything.

That is until Cece breaks the silence “And she said yes?” It’s Javy’s turn to roll his eyes and this time he does cross his arms across his chest.

“YES.” They all fall quiet again and then Phe screams. She jumps off her stool and brings her face up close to the camera.

“JAVY HAS A GIRLFRIEND! JAVY HAS A GIRLFRIEND!” Is his youngest sister twenty-six years old? Yes.

“Sophia sit down.” Javy’s smile dies before it fully eclipses his face. Phe returns to her stool, flashing him a supportive smile before his mother speaks again. “Javy, I want the whole truth, not just bits and pieces from you, Isa, and the media.” He swallows, hard. He’s done a lot of regrettable things in his life, but he’s never had to explain them to his mother before.

He fights the urge to squirm in his seat and he’s wishing you were here again. A wet nose nudges his hand he looks down to see Roxy cocking her head at him. He scoops her into his lap, letting his fingers bury themselves in her fur and trying not to wish it was your hair. “So, I… I met Roadie after a game. She came with her friend who’s one of the other guys, Reuben’s wife. I found her wandering around lost after a game, and I thought she was a puck bunny looking for a hookup so I kissed her.” He winces as Cece’s jaw drops and his mom’s and Isa’s mouths tighten into identical thin lines.

Roxy nudges his hand for pets and he continues. “The press somehow managed to get a photo and it started making the rounds. Zam had her come in so I could apologize and we could find out if she wanted to sue, which she would have been well within her rights to do, and instead, we made an agreement. She would pretend to be my girlfriend to help my public image, and I would pretend to be her boyfriend because the school she teaches at has some new backward policy that has her teaching contract renewal hinging on whether she’s in a relationship.” He shakes his head in irritation at the unfairness of your situation all over again.

“So we started fake dating and it turns out she’s amazing. She’s a kindergarten teacher and she’s so good at her job. The kids love her, and you can tell she loves them. She also does art in her spare time,” he pauses then, bends the laptop screen back, and picks up the computer so he can show off the painting hanging behind him. “She painted this,” he explains proudly. “She’s so damn talented.” He sits back down, places the computer back on the coffee table, and Roxy climbs back on his lap. “I fucked up somewhere in the middle. I could tell I was starting to have real feelings for her and I hurt her,” he falls silent, the image of your teary eyes as you pushed past him at the karaoke bar playing before him.

“She helped me realize that there were things I needed to fix, to change. My friends all helped me try and get her back, and she let me back in. We decided to continue the charade as friends but I was already in love with her. It was too late. And then yesterday she kissed me.” He feels hope bubbly giddily up in his stomach. “It's still new and it’s probably too soon to say, but I think she’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and I’m going to fight for her. Not because I deserve her, because she deserves a hell of a lot better than me, but because she chose me, and that’s enough.” He looks back up and sees a small smile on his mother’s face as she watches him. He expects her to say a lot of things, but he doesn’t expect the next words out of her mouth.

“Bring her to Dallas, Javier, I want to meet her.”

A/N: AAA AAAA AAAAAA!!!! I’M LOSING MY MIND!!! It’s been a long time coming~

#san diego dogfighters #san diego dogfighters au #san diego dogfighters hockey au #false confidence // goldenseresinretriever #fc // goldenseresinretriever #javy coyote machado x you #javy machado x you #javy machado x reader #javy coyote machado x reader #javy coyote machado #javy machado #coyote x you #coyote x reader #top gun maverick #top gun maverick hockey au #tgm #top gun #no use of y/n

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goldenseresinretriever · 4 months ago

Text

False Confidence: Chapter 7

Pairing: Javy “Coyote” Machado x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe

Chapter CW: 18+ ONLY, swearing, angst, fluff, fake relationship, mentions of death, suggestive language, anxiety, school system inaccuracies, hockey inaccuracies etc. There will be individual chapter warnings. No use of Y/N.

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: This one’s kind of quick but it is what it is

Previous Chapter // Series Masterlist // Next Chapter

When you wake up on Wednesday, the shame and anxiety that clawed your heart to sleep last night have melted into simmering anger that licks into white-hot fury as the day goes on. Last night when you’d left the bar, you’d felt so stupid. Stupid for believing that Javy respected you enough to be loyal to your agreement even if he didn’t have to be loyal to you. That’s the thing, the women didn’t bother you. You’d known what you were getting into the second Javy shoved his tongue down your throat the day you met. That and when you’d made it clear that you had no intention of warming his bed, you’d acknowledged that someone else probably would be. You’d just hoped he would respect you enough to have a little discretion. Zam was right, the bar was full of people with phones, cameras, and social media that would have eaten photos of Javy and those girls right up.

This time when you pull into the parking garage at Hard Deck Arena, your hands don’t shake as you hold back the urge to slam your car door as your flats slap against the concrete floors and the sound echoes through the space. You wrench the door to the arena open and trust your feet as they guide you to the door marked with the pink plaque. You knock on the door and thankfully a voice from inside calls out for you to enter. You barely wait for the door to shut before the words are out of your mouth. “I want out.” Zam looks up from her computer, pink lips parting slightly in surprise, though whether that’s due to your unexpected visit or what you’ve just said, you’re unsure. When she doesn’t answer, you enunciate the words again. “I. Want. Out. I’m done with the contract.” That seems to burst whatever bubble she’s trapped in.

“Roadie…” She says and you shake your head.

“No Zam, I’m done. I mean it.” Her lips purse into a thin line and she nods slowly. “Is there something I need to sign or anything? I can’t exactly afford a lawyer right now but I can try and figure out something if I have to.” You’re running out of steam now that Zam’s confirmed that you can get out of the contract. Relief washes cool through your veins, soothing the anger that’s been powering you all day.

“No, no, nothing like that. It’s not like you’re on our payroll or anything. The contract was more of a formality for the legal team in case things went sideways for any particular reason. “Consider it done unless you want to rip the physical copy up for closure.”

You’re surprised when you nod. “Yeah, I think I would actually,” she smiles faintly at that as she nods and gets up to root around in a file cabinet. She pulls a familiar sheet of paper out of a pink manila folder before she hands it over to you. You take a long look at the contract, unable to stop your eyes from wandering to the bottom of the page and tracing your and Javy’s signatures. This is for the best. You grip the top of the paper and rip. The sound seems to echo in the quiet of the room. That is, until the door swings open without warning and Javy walks into Zam’s office unannounced.

“Zam have you heard from-“ he blinks, surprised, as he takes in the sight of you, blinking back at him wide-eyed. “…Roadie.” You’ve moved to tear the contract smaller and you break the silence with the sound before you’re attempting to make it past Javy to the door of Zam’s office. Javy sticks an arm out to grab the door that’s still in the process of swinging closed behind him, effectively barring your path. “Hey Roadie, I’ve been trying to reach you all day.” You blocked his number last night once you got home. Originally you’d planned for it to be temporary while you gathered your thoughts. Now you doubt it’s a decision that will ever be undone.

You suppress the urge to roll your eyes and school your features, pressing the torn pieces of the contract into his chest which he has the sense to grab with his free hand while you duck under his arm, making your escape. You don’t look back as you call out to him. “Goodbye, Javy.”

***

Javy leans on the doorbell with a force that he should be concerned about, but he can’t find himself to care. The sound of a chorus of barks makes him slump with relief until the door swings open and it’s not who he’s looking for. Bugs is standing in the doorway, arms crossed across her chest as Pudding and Taz squirm from where they're sitting behind her legs, no doubt commanded to remain there by their mother. Her brow is furrowed and she’s glaring at him. While Javy’s been on the other side of Zam’s wrath, he’s had yet to cross his best friend’s girlfriend and somehow her wrath is scarier than his PR rep’s. He swallows, hard.

“Bugs,” he acknowledges and her brow furrows deeper but she doesn’t say a word. “Listen, is Jake here?” He asks, scratching the back of his neck, the tension making him uncomfortable. She hums in a way that gives him nothing before stepping back from the doorway and jerking her chin towards the living room, a silent invitation for him to come in.

He steps into the house and Bugs directs the dogs to move for him before she leads them off to where he assumes she’s planning to keep them while he and Jake talk. Javy’s surprised to find the living room is empty when he gets there, however, and just as he’s about to turn around and search for either of the house’s inhabitants, Bug’s voice startles him. “Sit down, Javy.” The firmness of her tone doesn’t leave room for argument so he sits down on the couch, awkwardly. She stands across from him. “Javy, four months ago you were asking me not to hurt Jake and now I feel like we’ve reversed roles here.” Her anger melts and Javy gets a look at the tired woman behind her anger. “What you did was cruel, Javy. I don’t know why you did it, and maybe I don’t deserve to know, but she does, Javy. She deserves closure even if she can’t have your respect.”

The sound of the front door breaks the silence followed by the sound of Jake’s voice. “Bunny, I’m home, are you here?”

“In the living room, babe, we’ve got company.”

Jake appears in the living room a few moments later, hair pushed back and damp with sweat. He looks like he’s just gotten back from a run. “Javy,” he says and Javy nods to acknowledge his best friend. Jake looks between Javy and Bugs before he tilts his head towards the back door. “Come for a walk with me?” He asks and Javy nods again, wordlessly before he stands and leads the way to the back door.

Jake doesn’t say anything until they’ve made it halfway down the beach behind the house. “So, Javy what are you doing here?” He asks like he doesn’t already know.

“Look, man, I…” Javy trails off, letting his eyes follow the water as it laps up against their bare feet. “I fucked up. I know that.” Jake shakes his head.

“You didn’t just fuck up, Javy,” Jake says, and Javy flinches at the bitterness in Jake’s voice. “You made a promise to Roadie. You signed a damn contract, and then not only did you embarrass her, but you did it at an event YOU invited her to. What the actual FUCK, man? What did that sweet girl ever do to deserve that?” He shakes his head. “Hell, Javy I signed off on this, I let this happen, and you went and did something not only extremely rude but it was cruel. And I know no matter what happened between the two of you, she didn’t deserve that, Javy. Not from anyone, and certainly not from you.”

“I know I just…”

“You just WHAT, Javy?!” Jake snaps finally and Javy looks up, surprised. Jake’s genuinely upset with him. “I’ve kept my mouth shut for years man, because no matter what you were doing at least it was mutually understood between you and whatever girl you were fooling around with that it wasn’t serious. No one was getting hurt so I kept my damn mouth shut and let it happen. I thought one day you’d wake up from whatever daydream it is you’re stuck in and decide to grow up even if you didn’t want to settle down because I respect that if that’s not something you want. And then Roadie got involved and I thought maybe it was the start of something new and maybe she’d be the catalyst that got you to change and not only did you not change but someone actually got hurt this time, Javy.”

“Don’t pretend that you understand,” Javy grits out, fists tightening next to him.

“Understand what, Javy? What is there to understand? I’ve been begging you to explain it for years and you refuse to-”

“Because you wouldn’t get it!” Javy snaps, turning on Jake. “And don’t you dare pretend to understand because you don’t!”

“Why, why wouldn’t I-”

“BECAUSE YOU LEFT!” Javy snaps and Jake has the good sense to look surprised. “You left Arizona and you never once thought about how that affected everyone else, about how that affected me!” His chest is heaving as the anvil that’s been sitting on it for years lifts. “And I didn’t hate you for it, I really tried not to. You had a chance to be close to home and you took it and I couldn’t be mad, I really couldn’t. You were amazing and you were destined for greatness and maybe it was childish of me, but I always thought we’d be great together.” He shakes his head, trying to ignore the sting of tears threatening to push their way to the surface. “And then, after I’d finally made peace with it, you got hurt, left Dallas, and came to San Diego, knowing I would be there, and you didn’t even bother to give me a heads up. You were my brother, Jake, I always considered you one. But somewhere along the way, you reminded me that I’m not, not really.”

Jake has the good sense to look embarrassed. “Okay, Javy, I fucked up, and I’m sorry. I didn’t realize me going to Dallas meant so much to you. And I know I’ve already apologized for what happened when I came here and I know I can’t do anything to make up for what I did, but I’m going to work every single day to try and make up for that.” He shakes his head. “But why does Roadie have to pay for my mistakes?” He asks and Javy feels his chest squeeze uncomfortably.

“I never knew my dad,” Javy whispers and he hates how quiet his voice sounds. “You know that.” He swallows, hard. “And my uncle passed when we were in college. The two most important men in my life were gone before I even turned 20. And then you left too. Everyone was leaving and I didn’t know how to cope with it. I didn’t want to be alone. I hated the way it made me feel and I didn’t want to feel that way anymore. I didn’t want to be alone, but I also didn’t ever want to be the reason someone felt the way I did.” He shrugs, lightly. “So I made sure that couldn’t happen.”

“By keeping things casual.” Jake finishes and Javy nods. “The problem is, someone actually got hurt this time.” Javy sighs deeply.

“Yeah, someone actually got hurt this time.”

“If you don’t want to hurt anyone, why did you do it?” Jake asks, but all the malicious ferocity from earlier has left his voice.

Javy shakes his head. “It was supposed to be fake, you know? It wasn’t supposed to be real, but damn it, it started feeling real. Or at least as real as I can remember anything feeling. I didn’t think, I invited her to karaoke without really thinking about it, and then the moment I had a moment to actually think about it, I panicked. Then those girls were there and it was just so easy to slip into old patterns so I did it without thinking.” He takes a shaky breath. “I didn’t mean to hurt her.” He hates how weak his voice sounds. “And I don’t know how to make it right.”

“Do you want to?” Jake asks, finally looking at Javy and Javy forces himself to meet the other man’s eyes.

“More than anything.” He pauses for a long moment. “She told Zam she wanted out of the contract. She ripped it up and threw it in my face.”

Jake lets out a chuckle, “good for her.” Javy finds himself matching the smile.

“Honestly, yeah,” he lets his mind drift for a second before his smile widens. “You know, she threw Josie Fitch’s expensive-ass shoes off the edge of the freeway?” Jake barks out a laugh and Javy chuckles in response.

“Did she really?” Javy nods.

“I think that’s the moment I fell in love with her,” Jake’s mouth drops open slightly before he attempts to school his features but Javy catches it. “If you ever tell anyone I said that, I’ll use your spare key and murder you in the dead of night.” Jake mimes zipping his lips before throwing the invisible key into the ocean.

“So what are you going to do to get her back?” Jake asks and Javy smiles to himself.

“I think I have a plan.”

***

It’s been two weeks since you ended the contract. Two weeks since you’ve been to Hard Deck Arena, and two weeks since you last saw Javy. For the most part, your life has gone back to the way it was. Well, except that everyone still thinks you’re dating Javy, not that you’ve done anything to correct them. In your defense, the conversations have never been directed to you so much as at you as you walk into the teachers’ lounge too quickly for the conversation to die before your arrival, or some people simply feeling shameless enough to quiet their voices in your presence.

Today, however, you don’t have time to worry about the whispers as you struggle to accommodate the horde of adults crowding into your classroom that’s never felt small until this exact moment. You try to push down the feeling of embarrassment that’s been plaguing you all morning. In your rush this morning, you’d opted for a cheerful top and jeans for comfort and ease but now, surrounded by suits and smart-looking dresses that make your classroom smell faintly of starch, you feel severely under-dressed. Both students and parents alike are buzzing with excitement as you try and finalize a lineup that allows for the busier parents to get back to their jobs as soon as possible when a knock at your door makes you look up.

Your heart stops in surprise as you see the faces on the other side of the glass. You wave the unexpected visitors in before you can stop yourself and suddenly your room is even more full as two hockey players make their way into the room. Javy gives you a rueful smile while Jake is full-on grinning as he waves at the kids who are gaping at the players. Jake’s simply dressed in his jersey over jeans but Javy’s fully suited up except for his skates that he’s holding in one hand while the other is carrying an equipment bag.

“Mr. Machado!” One of the kids calls out and you push past a group of parents currently snapping photos of the players.

“Jake, Javy,” you shake your head as you try to wrap your head around the situation. “What are you doing here?”

Javy shrugs. “You asked if I would come to Career Day. I know you the deal is over but since I got dinner and lunch, I thought I owed you at least this. And if not for you, then for the kids.” He adds on quickly and you nod before you can stop yourself. Just because you’ve gotten a little braver in the last month doesn’t mean you’re ready to have a fight with your ex-fake-boyfriend in front of your entire class and their parents.

“Okay, okay. Um, just have a seat over there,” you motion over to where the other parents are gathered. “Oh!” You remember as they’re walking past you. Both boys turn to you. “Are you good with going last or do you need to get back to work?” Your brain is screaming at the idea of having to reorder the schedule, especially when a mom in a pantsuit who’s scheduled to go first is currently glaring daggers at the back of your head for the holdup. Jake shakes his head.

“We’ll go whenever you’re ready for us.” You give him an appreciative look and mouth a thank you at them as you head back to the front of the room.

***

An hour later, the last busy parent has just escaped your classroom after waving hurriedly back at their kid and you let your shoulders slump slightly in relief. Of course, there are a few parents remaining that have taken the day off to be here and they’re chatting amongst themselves. You motion over to Jake and Javy who’ve honestly been holding the attention of your class the entire time. As much as the other parents had tried to sway them, their tiny minds were in awe of the bright jerseys and Javy’s equipment.

The boys make their way to the front of the classroom and the class cheers. “Hey guys, it’s nice to see you all again!” Javy greets them and a chorus rises across the classroom.

“Hi, Mr. Machado!” Jake mimes grabbing his chest in response and they all giggle as he introduces himself and enjoys his own hello. You watch on fondly as the boys explain what they do for a living, Jake using Javy as a mannequin to explain the different parts of hockey gear.

Then they move on to the bag Javy brought and then the boys are handing around hockey pucks, one for each one of your students. They’re emblazoned with the Dogfighters’ logo and you watch as your students turn them over in their tiny hands, eyes wide in awe. Your heart aches at the kindness and thoughtfulness of the gift. These kids will remember this moment forever. Javy and Jake are holding up hockey sticks and showing off how to hit a puck with the stick.

Once the demonstration is over, Javy and Jake patiently field questions from the kids and while Jake’s explaining why they can’t wear their skates in the classroom, Javy turns to look at you and you feel your face heat as you’re caught staring. You give him a tiny wave and the corner of his mouth quirks upward and he gives you a tiny wave back. He turns back in time to answer a question from another one of your students.

By the time the bell rings for lunch, your students are still on a roll peppering the boys with questions and you have to corral them into a line and out the door. When you get back from dropping them off, you thank the parents that are left and see them out before you turn to your surprise visitors, crossing your arms across your chest as you regard them warily, the unease creeping into your mind now that you’re alone with them. “Thanks for having us today, Roadie!” Jake says goodnaturedly, as he collects the equipment they brought with them. He turns to Javy, “You should get changed.” Javy nods and gives you a nod before he heads towards the door.

“Oh! If you want, the staff bathrooms are a lot more private. Here I’ll get you my key-” You reach for your neck, rummaging through the keys on your lanyard as a knock sounds and you turn to see Josie leaning against the doorframe.

“Hey boys, I thought I heard familiar voices in here.” She says as she takes in Jake and Javy. You continue to fumble with your keys as speak up. “They came by for career day.”

“Did they now?” Josie says, a thoughtful look in her eye as she regards you a little too cooly and you abandon your key struggle.

“Actually, I should probably walk you down there myself.” You gesture for Javy to follow you, and you try to ignore the knowing look that Josie gives you as you pass her and she steps into your classroom. Once you’re out of earshot you turn to Javy to kill the silence of the hallway. “Thanks for coming today, I can tell it meant a lot to the kids. They’re going to remember today for the rest of their lives, and the pucks were such thoughtful gifts.”

“We actually wanted to bring shirts, but I wasn’t sure what everyone’s sizes were and Josie could only really just get us a head count.” Your heart squeezes slightly at the thought that Javy had reached out to Josie to ask for her help. “I was thinking, and Jake said we could talk to the front office about it, but maybe we could arrange for the kids to come to the arena for a field trip? They could hit some pucks and maybe watch practice? It could be fun.” Your heart squeezes tighter.

“I think they’d like that a lot. I can talk to our front office too and see what I can do on my end.” You say, giving him a tight smile as you reach the staff bathroom. You unlock the door and hold it open for him and you have a sudden thought. “Are you going to need any help with… any of it?” Javy chuckles and shakes his head.

“Don’t worry, Meep, I do this every day, I’ve got it, but thanks for asking.” You take your lanyard off and hand it to him, trying to ignore the fact that he’s still using that name.

“Here, so you don’t have to worry about rushing because I’m waiting. Just lock up when you’re done.” You show him which key as you place the lanyard in his outstretched hand.

“Hey, Meep?” He calls out as you turn to go and you look back at him. “Do you always worry about other people like that?” You tilt your head to the side slightly, surprised by his question.

“Yes, why?”

“It’s nothing,” he says and then he pauses before he speaks up again as you’re about to walk away again. “Isn’t it hard? Worrying about everyone all the time?” You feel your cheeks heat as you shrug in a way that probably looks more like a grimace.

“I’m used to it.” You say simply before you walk back to your classroom.

A/N: I know that this one leaves off on a bit of a cliff hanger but it was a lot to try to jam into one chapter.

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goldenseresinretriever · 4 months ago

Text

False Confidence: Chapter 9

Pairing: Javy “Coyote” Machado x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe

Series CW: 18+ ONLY, swearing, angst, fluff, fake relationship, suggestive language, brief mention of sex, anxiety, school system inaccuracies, hockey inaccuracies etc. There will be individual chapter warnings. No use of Y/N.

Word Count: 3.8k

A/N: a little something something going into the weekend 🩵

Previous Chapter // Series Masterlist // Next Chapter

When you reach Javy’s apartment, he pulls into a spot right next to the sports car that you recognize from your first date. When he gets out, he doesn’t head for the door to the lobby, instead leading the way around the sports car to another vehicle. You frown in confusion as you look at what seems to be a game of “one of these things is not like the others.” The Prius parked on the other side of Javy’s sportscar looks old, almost as old as your car, but it’s definitely been a while since it’s seen any action. It’s clean as a whistle despite its age and looks ridiculous surrounded by Javy’s two other cars and the other various luxury vehicles that populate this garage. “Here she is,” Javy announces proudly as he runs an affectionate hand over the roof of the car.

“You’re kidding…” you can’t help yourself. “This is your car?” You ask, arching a skeptical eyebrow as you approach the car.

He chuckles, “She is indeed, though it’s been quite a while since she’s seen any real use. I drive her around every now and then to make sure she still runs, but as you can see, she’s had her day.”

“So why do you keep it?” You ask and he smiles ruefully.

“I could tell you it’s a reminder to never forget where I came from, but honestly? I can’t bear to give her up. My uncle got it for me when I moved to Arizona for college. My mom kept insisting that I wouldn’t need a car and that it was an unnecessary expense, but he wouldn’t listen. He told me he’d been saving money for years for it, and it was the last thing he ever gave me. He wanted to make sure that I’d have everything I needed to chase my dreams and never look back.” You surprise yourself when you reach out for his hand and slide your fingers into his. He gives you a soft smile in response. “I’ll grab you the keys and she’s all yours.” Your breath catches in your chest as you remember why you’re here in the first place and you shake your head.

“Javy I can’t, it clearly means a lot to you, I couldn’t drive her.” He chuckles and squeezes your hand gently.

“Yes, you can. I hate seeing her just sit here and not get used. I’d be honored to have you take care of her.” You purse your lips in a thin line as you consider Javy’s offer. “I’m not going to force you to take her, but then we’re getting back and the car and going to a dealership. As much as I’d love to drive you everywhere, unfortunately, my schedule doesn’t really allow for that.” Your cheeks heat at his words.

“Javy…” you whisper and he smiles.

“I mean it, Meep, I want you to have her. I know you’ll take good care of her. And I’ll add you to the insurance so you don’t have to worry about that.” You feel the emotions of the day catching up with you and tears well up in your eyes.

“Thank you, Javy. I mean it, thank you so much.” You hate the way your voice sounds like you’re blubbering but Javy just chuckles and pulls you into a hug.

“You’re welcome, Beautiful. That’s what friends are for.”

***

You’ve severely underestimated what it means to be friends with Javy Machado. Your phone buzzes for the seemingly thousandth time and Nat gives you a knowing look from where she’s sitting on a couch in the fitting room. “Starting to regret getting back with him yet?” She asks as you come over and open the message and you roll your eyes at the picture of Javy force-feeding Bradley a slice of pizza along with a message asking how things are going with you. Things are going well. You and Nat are finally going for the shopping date that Javy promised you. Zam wanted to come but she’s been particularly swamped this week. You’re extremely grateful to Nat for coming along and so far she’s been nothing but supportive as you pick out some new dresses. She doesn’t push you out of your comfort zone and has even managed to pull a few suggestions that suit your taste perfectly. The dresses are modest yet classy and you smile at your reflection in the full-length mirror as you consider how to reply to Javy’s text after sharing the image with Nat.

“You should send him a picture of that dress,” Nat suggests and you look from the mirror to her and she gives you a knowing smile. The dress is a simple yet elegant style that falls to your mid-calf made of gorgeous emerald velvet. The modest neckline and love sleeves make you feel comfortable and even pretty. You love the way the dressing room light reflects off the fabric as you swish the skirt idly. You glance back at the mirror and when you turn back to Nat she’s holding up your phone.

“Nat!” You exclaim as you realize she’s taking a photo. She grabs your wrist and drags you over to sit next to her on the couch as she sends the photos to Javy. You’d had a mind to complain about the lack of warning but when you see the photos, you’re grateful to Nat. The candid shots mean that you’re relaxed and natural-looking. The two of you watch as little hearts appear on each of the photos before Javy replies. You’re expecting all kinds of possible responses, but the message you get back in response is simple.

“Buy it.” Nat cackles as she hugs you and you feel your cheeks flush. Then your phone rings and Nat gives you a knowing look before she stands up and collects the dresses you’d placed in the no pile and walks out of the fitting room to give you some privacy as you answer the call. “Hey Beautiful,” Javy greets and you feel your cheeks heat.

“Hi Javy,” You whisper as you fiddle with the slippery fabric.

“I absolutely love that dress, Meep. It suits you perfectly.” You murmur your thanks, embarrassed at his straightforward compliments. “Do you like it?” He asks after a beat and you start, surprised that he’d ask that. Your eyes go again to the mirror and you feel the corners of your lips raise slowly.

“I do, I really do.” You admit and you can practically hear Javy’s smile.

“Perfect. Then make sure you get it. I think I have the perfect occasion for you to wear it to this weekend.”

“What kind of occasion?” You ask, eyebrows pinching together in worry. You and Javy haven’t gone on any dates since reinstating your fake relationship. You’d be attending the Dogfighters’ game tonight but other than that, Javy hasn’t mentioned any other plans.

“It’s a surprise, but I promise you’ll like it so don’t worry your pretty little head about it. Just show up looking beautiful as always.” You pout slightly at Javy’s insistence on giving you as little information as possible but the nagging voice in the back of your mind begs to you trust him. Javy wouldn’t pick something that would make you uncomfortable. He’s literally paying for today’s shopping trip to ensure that you don’t.

“Okay,” you acquiesce and you can hear the grin in his voice.

“Great, I’ve got to run, but I’ll see you tonight, okay?” You confirm that you’ll be at the game tonight before you hang up. Nat comes back in not long after that with a few more options and the two of you get to work.

***

“It’s really that simple?” You ask as you adjust the sleeves of the jersey that are currently falling past your hands. Josie nods as she looks you over.

“I mean you could do more, but it’s honestly more comfy to go simple.” That’s rich coming from her you think as you gape at the pointed heels of the knee-high boots she's wearing over her jeans. She’s dressed in a replica of Reuben’s jersey, opting for the men’s fit rather than the women’s style that would definitely hug her curves a lot better. In comparison, you’ve opted for your simple white sneakers along with jeans and Javy’s jersey. You’ve also opted for the men’s fit after Josie pointed out that though they won’t mention it, the boys much prefer their girls in the baggier men’s jerseys as opposed to the more fitted female styles. “It looks like you’re wearing their jerseys.” Josie had explained as you tried on the jersey for the first time. “And their dirty little minds love that.” You can’t help the way your cheeks heat as you examine your simple appearance in the mirror. Hopefully, Josie’s right, and Javy will appreciate it. “Don’t worry about the long sleeves,” she adds as she puts the finishing touches on her makeup. “The rink can sometimes feel a bit chilly and you’ll appreciate them.” You tug the ends of your sleeves over your hands experimentally and find that Josie’s probably going to be right.

When you reach the arena, things are already in full swing. You help Josie wrangle the kids and you make your way to the same set of seats you’d sat at last time. Traffic getting to the arena was slow-moving and warmups have already begun. As you help Josie get things situated the kids run up to the glass, eager to see their dad and you follow, scooping Skylar up into your arms so she can see the rink while Jamie slaps the glass to try and attract his father’s attention. You notice Mickey waving across the rink at the kids before he gets Reuben’s attention. Reuben skates over and waves to the kids who eagerly wave back. He carefully tosses a puck over the glass and Jamie catches it, cheering for his dad as you smile softly. You let Skylar down so she can bicker with Jamie over the puck and watch the warmups themselves, trying to remember what Nat taught you.

You’re so absorbed in your own thoughts that a bump on the glass makes you jump. You blink in surprise as you see Javy grinning at you from the other side of the glass. Your cheeks heat as he lays a gloved palm against the glass and you tentatively put your up to it. Javy’s grin widens as he thumps the glass three times and you follow his lead before he skates away, blowing you a kiss, and your heart stutters before you remember that you’re in public. He’s supposed to be your boyfriend, of course, he’s being romantic.

You return to your seats and do your best to focus on the game. Nat’s lessons pay off and you’re able to follow the game better than last time. The boys are playing hard but the other team is keeping up. By the third period, you’re flinching less at the hits and grabbing Josie as the two of you watch the tied game with bated breath. Unfortunately, the other team finally pulls ahead with five minutes to go and you and Josie collapse back against your seat with exasperated groans. Next to you, Skylar is asleep on her brother who’s struggling to stay awake, but even the infectious energy of the crowd is enough to keep the exhausted kids from feeling the effects of the busy week. Your teeth have worried your bottom lip into a mess over the last two and a half periods and you’re hoping the Dogfighters can take it to overtime even if you can feel exhaustion pulling at your bones.

The timer drops lower and lower and while the Dogfighters are giving it their all, the other team isn't giving up any ground. Bob is working double time to stop shots and keep the score difference from widening but that’s left the two teams at a stalemate, struggling against the other as the clock runs out. Finally, the ref blows the whistle and you and Josie let out a collective groan. The win was hard fought, but you can’t help but wish the Dogfighters had been able to take it back. You help Josie carry the things you’d brought, leading a drowsy Jamie by the hand while Josie hoists a sleeping Skylar into her arms. You make your way to the private part of the arena, reserved for players and staff to wait for Reuben. A yawn escapes your mouth and Josie gives you a tired smile of her own. The two of you give up on standing after a few moments where you’re sure Jamie almost falls asleep standing up and all pile onto a bench in the hallway, leaning against each other and fighting sleep. You must doze off regardless because you’re roused by the sound of Reuben’s voice as he coaxes Josie awake next to you, a fond smile on his face. He’s wearing his arrival suit and he comes around to crouch in front of a sleeping Jamie and you help him wrap Jamie’s small arms around his neck and Reuben lifts his son into his arms. You stretch, your arm having fallen asleep with Jamie sleeping on it. Josie stands with a groan, still carrying Skylar, and follows Reuben down the hallway toward the parking lot after exchanging sleepy goodbyes with you. You readjust yourself with a yawn, letting your shoulders sink with exhaustion, fighting the urge to full-on lay down on the bench. Javy’s offered to drive you home in exchange for you coming to the game since it would be late and the Fitches would have to get the kids home. If Reuben’s done, Javy shouldn’t be far behind.

***

You stir, your cheek bumping into something solid and you wrinkle your nose, squirming as you try and get comfortable again. You can’t have shut your eyes for longer than a moment. You blink, trying to reorient yourself and you’re staring sideways at a pair of knees. You frown, brows furrowing as you roll over onto your back and find yourself staring at the ceiling. Well, the ceiling and Javy’s face as he peers down at you. “Hey Meep,” you watch a smile creep across his face as yours twists into a confused frown, “sleep well?” You sit up slowly, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you frown at Javy who’s looking down at you endearingly, mirth dancing in his eyes.

“Wasn’t asleep, just resting my eyes,” you murmur sleepily and you’re too tired to glare when he chuckles. With great effort you manage to sit up, groaning as your heavy head protests. When you look up again, Javy’s back is facing you and your brows twist in confusion until his head turns to you and he jerks his chin awkwardly.

“Get on,” your brain is suddenly more awake. Your frown deepens and you shake your head as you slowly wrap your mind around what Javy’s proposing, your mind going back to Reuben and Jamie. “Meep get on, you’re exhausted so let’s not fight tonight and get you home. Your frown deepens even more at the idea that Javy’s right and so you wrap your arms around his neck, a sleepy pout on your face and you’re just awake enough to remind yourself not to bury your face in his neck to hide from the harsh hallway lights as you try to hold onto the threads of sleep and relax against Javy’s back as he carries you.

***

Javy can’t help the way his mouth quirks into a smile as the low rumble of snoring tickles his ear. Your arms around his neck are starting to go concerning slack, but he’s almost at the car. He tightens his grip on your thighs and freezes as your face nuzzles into his neck and he doesn’t miss the way his heart lurches in his chest. He knows you’re asleep. You’re doing all this involuntarily. You don’t mean to. And yet his heart is officially pounding out of his chest. He leans forward so you don’t slip with your grip loosening as he reaches the Range Rover. He thanks the keyless entry as the car chirps and unlocks without having to dig into his pocket for his keys. He comes around your side of the car and briefly considers laying you out in the back so that you can sleep more comfortably. He decides against it, worried that you’ll wake disoriented and scared somewhere he can’t instantly assure you that you’re safe. Well, that, and he doesn’t want to look like he’s kidnapping you. He fumbles to open your door before he does his best to ease you carefully into the passenger seat. He frowns as he carefully buckles your seatbelt. You’ll wake with a sore neck if you lean against the door while you’re sleeping so he finds a middle ground, carefully easily the seat back slightly so your body can curl slightly into the seat rather than need to lean against the door.

When he’s satisfied, he goes back around to the other side of the car, sliding into the driver’s seat and turning on the car before he looks back at you and slides his suit jacket off, draping it over your dozing form. At least this way he doesn’t have to focus on how good you look in his jersey. It’s not something new, per se, having a girl wear his jersey. He’s hooked up with plenty of girls with the 68 emblazoned on their backs, doing his best to ignore the brand-new smell of the fabric that sometimes even still has the tags on it. If he makes an effort to accidentally get a stain or two on those, rendering them unreturnable, it’s just an unfortunate byproduct of hooking up. He’s only had a girl or two blatantly complain about it, having the balls to admit they were planning on returning or selling the piece of clothing. One girl a few years ago had actually applauded him for “increasing the sale value” of the jersey and he’s been skeptical of girls in his jersey ever since. Being a hockey player already feels like a commodity where girls are considered, and the idea of them selling his semen, and worse, paying to buy it, gives him the ick.

There’s something different to be said, however, of you in his jersey. Sure he’s heard enough from Jake about how much he loves seeing Bugs wear his name and number, and he’s not blind to the way Bradley’s eyes can’t seem to tear away from Zam on the odd occasion that she dons his jersey. Josie shows up to every game repping her husband in some way or another, but he’d never considered what it would be like to have that himself. Then, tonight, seeing you and Josie watching you and Josie gripping each other excitedly in the stands, he’d found himself thinking about how good you look in the Dogfighters’ colors. He hadn’t even considered that the jersey you were wearing was his until he happened to look over during warmups while you were standing, your back to the rink as you helped Josie finagle something in a bag and he’d caught sight of his name staring back at him where it’s emblazoned across your back. He almost dropped his stick, accidentally shaking into Bradley who’d glared at him until he followed Javy’s gaze and smirked at him instead, skating away without another word.

He’s not sure when he decided he liked the idea of you being his but now he’s sitting here in his car with you asleep next to him when a month ago you’d never have considered letting your guard around him enough to relax let alone fall asleep. His heart is still hammering in his chest and his cheeks warm at the memory of your nose brushing his neck. Every part of his head is screaming in panic, the way it had that day after meeting your class for the first time. Every instinct that’s been burned into him over the year screams at him to run for the hills and burn every bridge on the way out, but he grips the steering wheel tight, pushing the voices away as his breathing comes out ragged.

He jerks the car to a harder stop than he’s like at a red light and takes a shaky breath as he looks over at you. The moonlight reflects the calm stillness of your face, brows smooth and at peace as you doze and he feels his grip loosen. You’re so brave, he thinks. He’s done nothing but push you out of your comfort zone and yet you’ve squared your shoulders and taken it in stride. Sure sometimes you’ve forged ahead with shaking hands and teary eyes, but you haven’t faltered once. You’re the bravest person he knows. He once thought that being brave meant being fearless but as he chances another look at you as he pulls into your parking lot he thinks maybe that being brave is being afraid and doing your best anyway.

He watches as you shift your smooth brow furrows in sleepy confusion and your nose scrunches in a way that goes straight to his heart as your eyes blink open, taking in your surroundings. You shift to sit up, peering out the window and Javy tries and fails to keep his eyes from shifting to the back of your jersey. “I fell asleep.” Your voice is rough with sleep as you rub at your eyes but he catches the irritation in your tone.

“And now you’re home, so you can get upstairs and back to sleep,” he points out and you turn, regarding him like you’ve forgotten that he’s in the car too. You nod, frowning as you try to make sense of his words. “Come on, Meep, let’s get you to bed.” You nod again, turning to let yourself out of the car. When he gets to the other side of the car you’re fumbling with your purse to find your keys. When he offers you his hand you wave him off, shuffling sleepily towards the stairs up to your apartment and he trails along behind you, making sure you don’t just collapse somewhere halfway up and spend the night there. When you reach your door, he watches as you fumble with your keys for a solid thirty seconds before he takes the keys from your hand. You don’t argue but he can feel your glare on his temple as he unlocks the door. Your hand grips the knob, taking your keys from him with the other.

“Goodnight, Javy.” He smiles at the sleepy slur in your voice as he steps back and you give him a nod.

“Goodnight, Meep, sleep tight.” You wave half-heartedly as he chuckles softly and you duck past him into the apartment, surprisingly quick as you swing the door shut behind you, and he waits for the turns of the lock and deadbolt before he turns and heads back to his car, trying not to think about how badly he wants you to come back and invite him in.

A/N: Where do you think Javy and Roadie are going this weekend?

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goldenseresinretriever · 4 months ago

Text

False Confidence: Chapter 12

Pairing: Javy “Coyote” Machado x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe

Word Count: 5.2k

A/N: Happy Friday, y’all!

Previous Chapter // Series Masterlist // Next Chapter

You examine your classroom, straightening the decorations that you’ve hung on the wall. Every square inch of the room is decked out in various shades of pink, red, and white. Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and while your students are too young to really grasp the concept, the air has been buzzing all week. It has little to do with love and everything to do with the promise of candy and cookies at the class party on Tuesday.

You find your eyes searching for the calendar on the classroom wall and a frown creeps up onto your lips. The Dogfighters are on a road trip right now and you’ve found yourself irritated at the way it feels like life has seemingly returned to the way it was before you met your new friends. You’ve spent the last week going home straight after work, occasionally to the Fitch house where you help Josie with the kids while she attempts to get some work done. She’s stretched thinner than usual with Reuben out of town and you can’t help the way you wonder to yourself if this is your future. And while it makes you nervous, there’s a part of your stomach that flutters giddily.

You and Javy have been official for a little over a week, but the road trip has taken up most of that time. You’re anxious to see Javy again, and you’re seriously starting to doubt the old proverb that promises that absence makes the heart grow fonder. You’ve finally allowed yourself to be upfront about your feelings for him, given that he’s actually your real boyfriend now. He’s your real boyfriend now. You can’t help the way you bounce on the balls of your feet in excitement as a fresh wave of giddy butterflies flutters through your stomach. Another glance at the calendar reminds you that despite this being your first Valentine’s Day with Javy, he’s going to have to meet it, playing a game in Seattle tomorrow night. The two of you have plans for the weekend, however, a belated celebration once he’s back and rested. After the game in Seattle, they have one more game in Denver on Thursday before they get back to San Diego on Friday.

“You’re in a good mood this morning.” A voice from behind you teases and you pause your drawing on the board to look over your shoulder to where Josie’s leaning against the doorframe.

“Josie! Good morning!” You greet her as you cap the marker and wipe your hands off on your overalls as you go over to give her a hug that she returns before handing you a to-go cup that smells delicious.

“We stopped for a little treat this morning since the kids are missing Daddy extra.” She gives you a tired but rueful smile. You know if you miss Javy after barely dating him for a week, Josie must be missing Reuben something fierce after being married for a decade.

“They’ll be home on Friday,” you remind her, trying to sound cheerful but your melancholy must show through your facade because Josie gives you a gentle smile.

“Hey, what are you doing tomorrow night?” She asks, and you see a scheming twinkle in her eyes.

“Tomorrow? Nothing really, I was going to watch the match while I grade papers, and then Javy said he’d call afterward and we could get takeout for Valentine’s Dinner.” You ignore the way your stomach flips at the words Valentine’s Dinner. “Why? Did you need help with the kids tomorrow night?”

“Yeah actually,” Josie says casually, sliding a hand into her pocket. “I thought maybe we could watch the game together?”

“Of course! That would be so much fun, what time should I come over?” You’re secretly excited not to have to spend the night alone with your TV and your thoughts when you’re sure the jitters will be too distracting to get any work done anyway.

“Well we’re going to have to leave right after school if we’re going to make the flight,” Josie says and you blink, confused until you look down and see the tickets that Josie’s holding out to you.

“W-what?” You stammer as your brain struggles to catch up with your eyes.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Roadie,” she says and you look from the tickets back up her and then back down to the tickets before you almost spill the coffee in your hand as you throw your arms around Josie. Josie laughs, fishing the coffee from your hand and depositing it safely on a nearby bookshelf.

“Josie, I can’t, it’s too much,” you blubber uselessly as you sob into her shoulder, all composure lost at your best friend’s kindness.

She just shakes her head as she pats your back comfortingly. “The kids miss their dad, I miss my husband, and you can’t miss your first Valentine’s Day with Javy. He’s still not my favorite person in the world but he makes you happy so I can’t hate him.” You choke out a chuckle at Josie’s words.

“Thank you, Josie.” You whisper and she just shakes her head again.

“Don’t thank me, just enjoy the day.” She pauses before she adds. “I’d originally wanted to surprise you with it tomorrow but I figured I should give you a chance to pack.” She laughs and you join in.

“I think my brain might have exploded,” you point out and she laughs harder.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning, so we have just one car and we can go straight from work to the airport.” You nod, still breathless over the fact that you’ll get to see Javy tomorrow.

“Wait, do the boys know?” You ask, your brain firing at a mile-a-minute.

Josie shakes her head, a conspiratory grin spreading across her face. “I thought we could surprise them. Zam knows she’s the one that arranged the game tickets.”

“We’re going to the game?!” You grasp the papers Josie’s still holding and you shuffle through them to see the game tickets under the plane tickets. “Josie!” You shriek and she laughs, head tipping back.

“Don’t yell at me, those are complimentary! WAG privileges,” she reminds you and you shake your head in disbelief. Not only do you get to see Javy tomorrow, but you get to go to the game and surprise him. “Alright, I need to get going before my kids start showing up but I’ll see you at lunch,” you wave to Josie before returning to your prep for the day.

Suddenly you feel ridiculous for all the stressing you’ve done over the past week, trying to decide what to get your boyfriend for Valentine’s Day. You know Javy has no qualms about spending ridiculous sums of money on you, but you’re not exactly in a position to do the same. All the same, you’re feeling pretty proud of your Valentine’s Day gift for Javy. You’re also extremely happy that you finished in time for Valentine’s Day despite thinking you wouldn’t be able to give it to him until Saturday. You’re nervous but excited to see his reaction to it. You’re even more excited to see his reaction to your and Josie’s surprise.

***

You’re secretly glad that all you have planned for today is a Valentine’s Day party. You’re not sure you have the focus required to teach your students today since you’ve been bouncing off the walls with nervous excitement since you got out of bed this morning, not that you’d slept much at all. You’re secretly thankful for the parents who volunteered to help with the party because your mind is on this evening, your eyes flitting to the clock constantly, counting down the seconds until you’re done with work.

You know you should calm down and conserve your energy. The next twenty-four hours are going to be a whirlwind. After school ends, you have to rush to the airport to make your direct flight to Seattle, and from there you need to rush to the arena to make it in time for the game. After that, you’ll spend the night in Seattle before catching a red-eye from Seattle back to San Diego with barely enough time to make it back in time to teach Wednesday morning. Josie’s planning to drop off the kids with Penny for the day, since they’ll likely be too exhausted to handle a full day of school after all that travel. You secretly wish you could afford to take tomorrow off, but with so little notice, you know better than to try.

Your eyes move from the clock to the comically large vase currently taking up most of your desk. The flowers had been delivered during first period and you can’t help the giddy smile that stretches your face as you look at the bright orange blossoms. Your students had descended into giggles when you told them it was from Javy and you couldn't help but join in.

***

Your students finally make their way to lunch and you slump across your desk, letting the scent of the tiger lilies above you permeate your nose, and as sweet as they smell, you find yourself missing a different scent, a smokier, spicier one. You let out an exhausted groan as Josie lets herself in, coming to sit across from you.

“He sent you flowers,” she remarks, and you think she sounds a little impressed. You turn your head to squish your cheek against the cool wooden surface as you look at her and nod.

“Aren’t they perfect?” You say, a shy smile tugging at your lips as you follow her gaze to the orange blossoms.

“Tiger lilies? Not roses?” She asks, reaching a hand out to finger the blossoms, curiously.

“They’re my favorite.” You explain. “I don’t know how he knew,” you muse as a thought occurs to you. “Did you tell him?” Josie holds up her hands in surrender.

“It wasn’t me. I didn’t even know you liked tiger lilies.” Your brow furrows in thought.

“Well, technically, I love all lilies,”

“But those are your favorites now since they’re the ones he bought you,” Josie interrupts your thought and you look at her, surprised as you nod, cheeks heating.

“I used to like mums, back in college, they were my favorite and I was super vocal about it. Then I met Reuben and on our first date he bought me dahlias because he’d bought them thinking they were just big mums, and in that moment I realized I never wanted anything but dahlias. They reminded me of him, and how eager he was to make me happy, and now they’re my favorites.” The two of you sit in content silence for a long moment before she speaks up again. “Are you excited for tonight?” Your face brightens instantly and you nod enthusiastically.

“I still can’t believe it’s real, thank you so much again, Josie.” She shakes her head.

“Thank you for coming with me,” she chuckles, “but after you experience flying with two kids, I don’t think you’ll take me up on the offer again.” She teases and you roll your eyes.

“I love your kids,” you remind her and she chuckles.

“You do now, just wait.”

***

You can’t help the nerves that are pacing in your stomach as you worry the edge of the jersey you’re wearing. You try to channel the restless energy into helping Josie wrangle the kids. They are restless too, excited to see their dad, and cranky from their naps on the plane. You can’t find it in you to be irritated with them when you see your own raw emotions on display in them. You glance over your shoulder, anxious for warmups to begin so you can see Javy and the tension in your heart can finally snap.

Skylar bumps into you on accident as she tries to wrangle one of the homemade signs that are jammed into the bag on the floor. They’re incredibly cheesy, but Josie had insisted that they’re a necessary part of the surprise. You help her unfold them and hand her and Jamie the one they’ll hold together. It’s a simple mess of glitter and paint that reads, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Daddy!” Josie gives it a long look like she’s considering hoisting it herself and you roll your eyes as you slide out the sign that Josie made for the two of you. You haven’t seen it yet and you’re a little nervous. Josie is a lot braver than you are and she’s been married for a decade while you’re in your first real relationship that’s barely a week old. You carefully unroll the sign and feel your cheeks heat as you read the words on it. “It’s not just puppy love, Happy Valentine’s Day, Dogfighters!” It’s sweet and playful but your eyes are caught on one particular four-letter word.

Your heartbeat thunders in your ears so loud that you almost miss the rise of cheers that rise through the arena. You look up as Josie grabs your arm in one hand and her side of the sign in the other. You’re yanked back to the present as a familiar blur of green whips down the ice towards you. The team heads down to their end of the ice to start warming up and you remember to lift your edge of the sign as your eyes dart furiously from one player to the next, searching for number 68 and any sign of Javy. You hear the kids screaming for their dad in the corner of your consciousness, followed by the pound of their little hands against the glass as Reuben skates up.

Your eyes turn more frantic even though you know he’s here somewhere, he has to be. Your heart thunders in your chest as the unreasonable doubts start crawling in and making a home in your aching chest. You miss the moment a figure on the ice stops until a full body slams into the glass in front of you making the whole wall shake and then you’re looking at Javy’s full grin and wide eyes and he looks like an excited puppy as he gapes at you. You can’t help the excited grin that bubbles to the surface and matches his. You wave slightly as you place your hands on the glass over his on the other side.

“Hi,” you whisper even though you know he won’t be able to hear you.

“Hi,” he breathes back. His breath clouds the glass and your stomach flips when he draws a lopsided heart and writes “hi” inside it. You giggle as grins at you. Your moment is broken as Jake skates by and grabs Javy by the back of his jersey playfully. He blows you a kiss as he drags Javy back towards warmups. You try not to think too hard about the fact that Javy’s eyes stay on you the entire time before they disappear back down the tunnel.

***

You know you should be focussing on the score. It’s currently tied at 1-1 but instead, you’re still dizzy over the adrenaline of the day and the way Javy’s playing at the top of his game today. He’d assisted Jake’s goal in the second period, and you spent the whole break watching the replays online since it was on the other side of the rink. The score remains tied and the clock is running on the third period. Your lips are gnawed to hell as you watch the clock drop lower and lower. This period the Dogfighters are shooting on your side of the rink and you’ve been glued to the glass since it started. You wince as one of Seattle’s defensemen scuffles with Javy by the boards feet away from you, digging at the puck as it slides between their sticks and skates. Your brow furrows as a stray elbow catches Javy’s shoulder and you shout out in protest, as your hands find the glass where you bang alongside the Seattle fans. When you hear them cheering for the other player, you hear your voice rise, cheering for Javy amidst the louder screams. You’re caught up in the fever, the adrenaline of the game, the excitement of the day, and seeing your boyfriend. You catch his eye briefly as his eyes dart up unconsciously and you swear he winks at you, sending heat up your cheeks and knocking the breath from your lungs. Javy manages to dig the puck out of the corner and you watch as he knocks it backward to where Jake’s waiting to whisk it off towards the goal. Your heart is in your throat as you watch Jake’s approach, the opposing defense coming up to try and block his path to the goal. His linemates are trying to open themselves up for a pass but there are no open paths on the ice.

You watch his stick swing anyway, but you don’t see the puck fly into the fray. Your brow furrows in confusion until you watch Javy shoot out from behind him, the puck dancing along the edge of his stick, completely unmarked. Your stomach flips as you see the look on his face. For a moment it feels like you’re watching the sun come out from behind the clouds as you take in the boyish grin stretched across Javy’s face. His eyes are glinting with mischief you’ve seen plenty of times on your students’ tiny faces, and he’s glowing with confidence as he whips down the ice. Your heart is in your throat as you watch the other players slowly realize where the puck has gone and then you watch the black disk fly off the end of Javy’s stick. The goalie starts to move in his direction, but it’s clear he hasn’t realized Javy’s shot until it’s too late and his glove is still inches away as the puck sails over his shoulder.

You’re sure you’re screaming and then Josie’s screaming and she’s grabbing you and you’re grabbing her, and you can’t take your eyes off him as he roars in triumph and then he’s pointing with both hands and you’re trying to understand what at, it doesn’t make any sense and then he’s laughing and you read his lips as he tries to contain himself. “You.” Your brows furrow and you look down at yourself in confusion before turning around to look behind you as Josie laughs beside you as the other boys start crowding Javy.

Josie grasps your shoulders as your confusion grows. “It’s you, Roadie.”

“W-what’s me?” You ask, glancing back towards the ice where Javy’s getting set up for the next face-off.

You look back in time to see Josie shake her head, a fond look in her eyes. “Everything,” she says before giving you a tight hug and you feel your stomach twist as you watch the jumbotrons replay the goal and you watch Javy point at the stands all over again. Oh. You. You’ve spent your whole adult life expecting not to be chosen, never expecting to be anything but the butt of a joke, that you weren’t worthy of being chosen. People look through you, people look past you, people don’t look at you, people don’t see you. And yet in the last month, you’ve felt more seen than you have in the last thirty years of your life. They look at you, they see you. He sees you.

You don’t hear the whistle, you don’t hear the last of the game, you don’t hear the horn as the clock runs out. You’re overwhelmed, and you’ve been overwhelmed before, but it’s different this time. The usual fear, the pain, the panic, none of that is what you feel now. “Roadie?” You blink and realize belatedly that you’re crying and you turn to her and throw your arms around her neck.

“Thank you, just thank you.” You don’t recognize the sound of your voice as you shake your head and just hold your best friend. She doesn’t question it and holds you back like she already knows, and maybe she does.

***

You place a hand over your knee to try and stop the way it’s restlessly bouncing as you sit on the bench in some hallway, waiting for Javy. You’re not a spouse, so you weren’t allowed into the locker room area with Josie and the kids. A member of the Kraken’s staff had led the four of you to the private section of the stadium and you’ve been waiting for at least an hour. You turn your phone on, glancing at the clock and debating texting Javy but you know he’s probably just finishing up his post-game responsibilities. He knows you’re here. He’ll find you. You stifle a yawn as you stare at the screen, your stomach dropping as you realize how few hours you have until you’ll have to head back to the airport and back to your life.

You close your eyes, trying to ignore the math that your brain insists on doing because it’s not enough and you’re not ready to be back home, exhausted and alone, thrust back into your routine for another three days until Javy gets home. You barely suppress a groan as you lean your head against the wall behind you, trying to reconcile the consequences of your actions as the lull in the business of the day gives you a break from the adrenaline that’s been coursing through you all day. You’re slowly descending into a spiral of your own thoughts when you hear the squeak of hinges in your periphery and you turn your head, your body sitting up, the giddy excitement of seeing Javy beating out the exhaustion settling into your bones as you watch the corner, begging Javy to come around it.

You’ve barely caught enough of his silhouette to confirm it’s him before you’re bouncing off the bench and running for him. Running to him is a blur, but then you’re in his arms, and the scent of sweat mixed with his cologne engulfs your nose and you feel the tension melt out of your body as you settle against him. The two of you stay silent for a long beat, your bodies refamiliarizing themselves with the feeling of holding the other, committing it to memory, to carry the two of you through the rest of the week. When the two of you finally choose to speak, it happens at the same time.

“Thank you,” Javy whispers into your hair.

“Thank you,” You croak, your voice breaking over the words all over again. The silence that falls between you is comfortable and you can tell he’s waiting for you to go first so you tell him the words that have been on your lips for the last hour. “Thank you for seeing me.” Your chest heaves shakily as you fight the words out, but his arms just tighten around you as he holds you, like he’d physically hold you together if you shattered to pieces.

He pulls back and removes his hands from your waist to cup your cheeks as his dark eyes look into yours and straight through to your soul. “You’re impossible to miss.” He says as he strokes his thumbs over the apples of your cheeks, and when he says it, you find that it’s not so hard to believe it. “Thank you for coming,” he whispers before running his nose against yours, your lips just shy of ghosting over each other.

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be,” you whisper back, and when he kisses you it feels like you’ve let out a breath you’ve been holding for the last week.

“Alright, Meep,” Javy says when he finally pulls away, leaning his forehead against yours, arms returning to your waist to keep you close, “you gonna tell me what you’re doing here, beautiful?” You feel your cheeks heat even though you’re already in his arms, and he’s already kissed you.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Javy.” It sounds so silly as you say the words, but you wonder if that’s because it’s the first time you’ve said them romantically.

He chuckles softly before pressing a simple kiss to your lips “Happy Valentine’s Day, Meep, but I mean what’re you doing in Seattle on a school night.” You shrug slightly because you don’t really have an answer.

“Josie’s the right brand of crazy and she has the budget to back it up?” You both laugh at that.

“I hate to ruin the mood,” Javy says before closing his eyes for a moment, “but when do you leave?” Your stomach drops again. In the joy of being reunited with Javy, you’d forgotten that you’ll have to leave him again in just a few short hours.

“We have a red-eye back to San Diego so we can make it back to work tomorrow,” you explain and you know Javy’s doing his best not to mirror the disappointment you’re feeling. “But you’ll be back in San Diego on Friday, right? That’s not so bad.” One glance at him says that he believes your words about as much as you do. “But at least we have tonight,” you relent.

“At least we have tonight,” he agrees. “Well then, let’s not waste a second.” He leads you out of the stadium. Most fans have since dispersed, returning home since it’s a Tuesday. The area around the stadium is lit with lights as and there are a fair amount of people milling around. Javy takes your hand and leads you through the park surrounding the stadium as you crane your neck back to get a good look at the Space Needle as it closer and closer.

There are a few people milling around and entering the Space Needle as you and Javy approach the ticket desk. The lady at the desk��s eyes widen in recognition as Javy purchases tickets for the two of you. When you enter, you stay close to Javy, feeling nerves bubble like butterflies as the photographer takes your picture and you watch Javy give him him email address for the photos. “My privacy is already nonexistent, there’s no need to compromise yours,” he explains when you offer to give yours instead. You walk up the spiral walkway to the elevator with Javy’s hand in yours. The ride to the top is silent and you’re sure you notice the elevator attendance staring at the two of you. The fact that you’re wearing Javy’s last name on your back doesn’t really help with the subtlety.

When the elevator doors open your breath catches in your throat. There are glass walls separating you from the balcony that wraps around the room the elevator opens onto, but you can already see the lights of Seattle twinkling from here. You find yourself dragging Javy to the balcony. The city of Seattle is alight all around you. From here you can see Climate Pledge Area, the rest of the park, and various museums in the area around you. You can also see the darkness of Elliot Bay. As you make your way around the balcony, you come face to face with the dazzling skyscrapers of downtown as the city itself sprawls out into the distance. It’s gorgeous and your fingers itch to paint the stunning view. You pull out your phone, snapping some inspiration photos. You’re already planning how you’re going to approach the painting when Javy slides his arms around your waist from behind, leaning his chin on your shoulder.

“What’s going on in your pretty little head, Meep?” He asks and you feel embarrassment creep over you for just abandoning him when he brought you up here and came all the way here to see him.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about how much I want to paint this view,” You explain as you gaze out at the city below you.

“Well, I can’t wait to see it,” Javy whispers. “And I hope I have first dibs when it goes on sale,” he murmurs, nuzzling your cheek gently.

“Javy, I’m not making you pay for my art!” You exclaim indignantly, leaning into him as the wind off the bay whips around the two of you. Javy wraps his arms around you from behind, pulling you close.

“Pretty girl, where is your coat?” He asks as he snuggles you.

“We live in San Diego, I don’t have one!” You grumble indignantly. “It doesn’t get this cold there,” he nods against your shoulder.

“Okay, that is true, I’ll give you that.” He rubs your arms. “At least you’re wearing long sleeves,” he points out.

“Do you like it?” You’d been too shy to ask last time. Well, that and last time you hadn’t been wearing his name as his real girlfriend.

“I love it,” he says with a forcefulness that makes your heart flutter.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” You wiggle out of his grip to get the box out of your purse. “I know we’re going to celebrate on Saturday, but I figured since I was going to be here, I could give you your gift today!”

“Meep,” Javy groans. “You came all this way, you didn’t have to get me anything, plus I don’t have your gift here,” he bemoans and you wave him off.

“You didn’t know I was coming, and neither did I until yesterday, so I had already gotten you a gift. Plus, you bought the tickets to come up here,” you remind him. You hand him the narrow box and he arches a curious eyebrow as you draw the sleeves of your jersey over your hands and hug your arms around yourself. Javy notices and gently guides you so that your back is to the building behind you and he’s blocking the wind with his body before he opens the box. You hold your breath anxiously as he unwraps the paper inside before his breath catches.

“Roadie…” he murmurs and you swallow hard, trying to decipher if you’ve hit the nail on the head or missed it entirely. Javy lifts the tie out of the box, examining it in the light that’s filtering out from inside. You’ve covered the originally-white fabric with fabric paint, doing your best to recreate a slice of the cliff painting he bought at your show. And there at the very bottom are the embracing figures that represent him and you. “Roadie, this is beautiful. Did you paint this?” His voice is full of awe as he looks at you and you nod.

“I know it’s not the most faithful recreation but fabric paint is pretty fickle. I thought maybe you could wear it with one of your game day suits.” You admit. While exploring the team’s Instagram account you found the highlight of game day suit posts, and that had inspired you to make the tie.

“I’m getting rid of every other tie I own when I get home,” Javy declares and your eyes widen in horror.

“But this is blue, and it won’t match every suit!” You protest and he chuckles.

“Well then I’ll just get rid of all the blue ones, and every year I can get rid of a different color.” You see the nerves dancing in his eyes at the boldness of his statement, at the assumption that there will be more years. That you’ll be together long enough for a dozen Valentine’s Days and a dozen ties.

“Well I do take requests,” you say and you watch the anxiety leave his shoulders and you kiss your boyfriend at the top of the Space Needle on the night of your very first Valentine’s Day, and everything is perfect.

A/N: The Valentine’s Day festivities aren’t quite done yet, what do we think Javy has planned for Saturday?

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goldenseresinretriever · 4 months ago

Text

False Confidence: Chapter 8

Pairing: Javy “Coyote” Machado x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe

Chapter CW: 18+ ONLY, swearing, angst, fluff, fake relationship, suggestive language, anxiety, I don’t know how car insurance works sue me, school system inaccuracies, hockey inaccuracies etc. There will be individual chapter warnings. No use of Y/N.

Word Count: 4.3k

A/N: This one’s a heavy one…

Previous Chapter // Series Masterlist // Next Chapter

Javy hates the way his heart hammers in his chest, to the point that he swears that he can hear the echo in the single-stall bathroom. There isn’t really anywhere to sit and the toilet doesn’t have a lid so he’s planted his back against his wall for support as he squats awkwardly and removes his gear. He’s sweating like a pig at this point. Being in full gear isn’t anything new, but usually, the rink is at least cold and your classroom when packed with two dozen kids and at least half as many parents hasn’t exactly been a picnic. It’s worth it though, for that tiny smile you’ve had on your face since you saw him. Well, he and Jake, but he’s trying not to think too hard about that. You hadn’t corrected him when he called you Meep either. Hope tightens the noose around his heart as he glances at where he’s hung your keys on the hook on the back of the door.

He peels his gear off, wrinkling his nose at the smell and wishing that he had asked if there was a gym locker room he could use so he could jump in the shower but he figured an elementary school probably wouldn’t have those. Once he’s gotten out of his gear and he’s left standing amid the pile like a fool, he’s still hesitating to put on his clean clothes. He knows that hockey players stink. God knows his sisters and mom complained enough growing up. He wants to make a good impression. He steps over the mess on the floor over to the sink. He looks from the paper towel dispenser to the sink before he shrugs. He dampens a folded paper towel and does his best to wipe himself down. It’s not the same as a shower but it's something. He tugs on his clean clothes and sprays himself with a few spritzes of cologne for good measure before he stuffs the sweaty gear into his duffle. When he’s done, he grabs your keys, examining your ID badge. In the picture, you’re smiling at the camera, albeit in that shy way you always do, significantly different than the way you smile around your students. The plastic of your ID is almost completely covered by little stickers that he knows must be your students’ handiwork and he smiles to himself as he leaves the bathroom, and fumbles to find the key you’d taken great effort to make sure he wouldn’t forget, locking the room behind him before he heads back the way you’d gone.

***

When you get back to your classroom, Jake and Josie have fallen into an easy conversation that you’re sure comes from the familiarity of having known each other for the last five months. They both look up when you come in. Jake makes a show of looking around you for Javy before he quirks an eyebrow at you. “You left him there by himself? What if he falls in!” You roll your eyes and don’t miss the way Jake’s smile widens when you do.

“Jake, I teach kindergarteners for a living, and I promise you, no one actually falls in.” He laughs at that and Josie gives you an impressed look as you cross past them to get to your desk and you pull out your lunch before looking at the sandwich that Jake’s eating that looks suspiciously like the one in Josie’s hands. “You packed them lunch?” You ask as Josie reveals a third sandwich, placing it on an empty corner that’s now been silently assigned to Javy. Josie shrugs.

“Call it a motherly instinct. I know what Penny suggests for them since I cook for Reuben so I thought I’d make them something to hold them over until they get back to work.” Jake thanks her through a full mouth and both you and Josie make a face of disgust. “Jake Seresin, you’re a grown man, don’t talk with your mouth full.” Josie admonishes and Jake has the good sense to look chagrinned as he swallows.

“Thanks for coming, by the way.” You speak up before you forget to thank Jake. “It really means a lot to the kids.”

Jake waves your thanks off. “I love visiting schools. It was my favorite thing to do back when I was back in Dallas. I got to go to my old elementary school a few times, and nothing really comes close to that.”

“Says the man who’s won a cup before,” Josie says, arching an eyebrow.

“Well one of the times I went was when I took said cup there, so the joke’s on you, Jo.” She rolls her eyes and goes back to her sandwich. The door opens and Javy comes back into the room. Josie gestures to a chair at the closest desk to yours and Javy pulls it up. When you see him fold his much-too-large body into the tiny chair, you wince as you take your keys back from him.

“Here, Javy, we can switch seats if you want?” You start to stand up but he waves you off.

“Don’t worry about it, Meep.” You see Josie raise an eyebrow at you in response to the nickname but she doesn’t say anything.

“Meep?” Jake says, but his voice is garbled around another bite of sandwich and both you and Josie glare at him.

“JAKE!” He puts a hand up in apology and swallows as Javy grins at him.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, but Meep? What’s that about?”

Javy shrugs as he unwraps his sandwich. “She’s the Roadrunner, right? So, Meep,” he shrugs as he takes a bite of his sandwich as Jake snorts.

“You realize the Roadrunner says ‘beep beep’ right? Not ‘meep meep.’” Javy stops chewing mid-bite. Jake bursts out laughing at Javy’s reaction and you can’t help the smile that twists the edge of your mouth. Javy frowns at Jake but you can tell it’s in a comedic sense.

“How was I supposed to know that!” He complains indignantly when he finishes swallowing. “It’s not like it enunciates!” A giggle rises in your throat at the sight of these two grown men cramped into your students’ chairs bickering about Looney Tunes. Javy turns to you at the sound and opens his mouth presumably to say something but he’s interrupted by your door swinging open without warning. Your expression shutters instantly and your lips purse into a thin line as Jeremy comes in. He’s wearing a chagrinned expression that can’t be good.

“No way, you know Mark said he thought he saw you guys walk by his classroom? But I didn’t believe him.”

“What do you want, Jeremy?” Josie says in a tone that sounds bored. “If you came to bother the ogle hockey players, you’re going to have to buy a ticket.”

“Oh, right.” He shrugs. “When Mark and I were going to lunch, we noticed that it looked like someone had accidentally backed into your car, Roadie.”

“WHAT?” You can’t help the indignant squawk that comes out of your mouth laced with panic as you scramble to your feet, lunch forgotten.

“What’s to say you and Mark didn’t do it?” Josie says cooly, eyes narrowing. Jeremy looks shocked at the suggestion.

“Why would I even bother lying about that? My insurance would cover the damage if I did. My guess is that it was one of the parents who came in for career day.” You shake your head, unable to wrap your head around the news. You grab your keys in a haze, needing to see the proof for yourself.

“Roadie wait!” You hear Josie call out from behind you, but you don’t stop, shoving Jeremy out of the way when you get to the doorway and speedwalking towards the parking lot. When you get outside you all but run to where you park every day and your heart sinks as you look at your car, or at least what’s left of it. Backed into it is an understatement. The extent of the rear damage means that whoever did so was in a hurry and you blink hurriedly to try and stave back tears as you stare at the mess that’s what’s left of your car.

“Fuck…” You turn to see that Javy’s followed you. “Did they leave a note or anything?” Javy crosses over to inspect the windshield of your car. When he comes back empty-handed he shakes his head in disbelief. “Maybe they talked to someone in the front office?”

“Roadie, there you are! SHIT!” Josie and Jake make it to where you’re still frozen, staring at your car. Javy’s saying something to Jake that you can’t hear before Jake nods and heads back toward the building.

“I asked Jake to go see if whoever did this left their information with the office. Shit, Roadie, I’m so sorry.” As Javy apologizes, you feel the first fat traitorous tear escape your eyes.

“Oh honey,” Josie says as she notices the tear carving a line down your face, your lips quivering. She wraps you in her arms and you hide your face in her chest. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay.” She rubs your back encouragingly. “That poor car was on its last legs as it was. You said you’ve had it since you were in high school?”

“College,” you sniffle. “It was a graduation present from my parents when I moved out to go to college. And she’s not that old, she drove just fine.” Josie gives you a squeeze before letting you go and you wipe furiously at your damp cheeks that you’re sure are already starting to get puffy.

“You should probably call a tow, and then give your insurance a call.” She points out and you wince. You hate making phone calls, even though it’s an important part of your job, and you can’t help the way that you squirm at the idea.

“I’ll call the tow.” Javy pipes up and you look at him, surprised, having forgotten he was still here. “Take some pictures of the damage and we can go from there.” You nod wordlessly. “I can give you a lift home too, if you want?” The sentiment is appreciated but you shake your head.

“That’s okay, Javy, I’ll just get a ride home with Josie,” but Josie shakes her head too.

“Sorry Roadie, I’ve got parent-teacher conferences today, and the kids are just going to hang out with after-school care until I’m done. Go with Javy.”

“But we still have afternoon classes, I can’t leave yet.”

“I’ll come back and pick you up. Just tell me what time.” Javy says like it’s that simple.

“She should be done by 4,” Josie says before you can protest.

“Perfect, I’ll be there,” Javy says. “Now I’m going to call the tow, so I’d take whatever you need to out of the car.” You’ve given up control of the argument at this point so you just do what he asks.

“I’m going to go ask the custodians about getting some stuff to clean up the broken tail lights.” She heads after Jake back into the school, leaving you and Javy alone.

You collect your stuff in silence as Javy makes the phone call a few feet away. He’s finished by the time you’ve stuffed everything in your car into two grocery bags that you found under a seat since your trunk is jammed shut at the moment. You haul the bags around the other side of the car and place them by your feet as Javy gives you a once-over. “You okay, Meep?”

You let your shoulders slump as the exhaustion sets in. “Not really,” you whisper and he nods slowly.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You shrug and he just waits.

“I just… I just really can’t afford a new car right now.” You whisper. “And I know fixing my car isn’t going to be worth it, and I just… I don’t know what to do.”

“I could buy you a car,” Javy says nonchalantly and you wait for the laugh and when it doesn’t come you turn to gape at him.

“JAVY, I’m not letting you buy me a car!”

“Why not?” He says, cocking his head to the side. “I can afford it. You can’t. And let’s face it, if you’d decided to sue me, maybe you would be able to. So, let me buy you a car.”

“No.” You frown at him. “No, absolutely not, Javy, I can’t let you do that.” You shake your head firmly. He looks like he’s thinking about arguing. “Javy, I mean it. I’m not letting you buy me a car.” You cross your arms across your chest.

“Fine, fine.” He relents. “Then at least let me lend you one of my cars.” You gawk at him.

“Cars? As in plural?” You stammer and he shrugs.

“Yeah, I have three, and as you know, I only really need one.” You shake your head in disbelief.

“Still, I don’t think I could drive any of your cars, Javy… no offense.” He must realize what you mean and he laughs.

“Oh don’t worry, they’re not all like the one you rode in. That one’s mostly for show. It’s the one the press recognizes and the one I usually take girls in. I think I have the perfect one for you, actually.” He must see the skepticism in your eyes so he adds, “I can show you after work if you want? And then you can decide.” You know you’re not exactly in the position to be picky right now so you relent and nod.

“Looking can’t hurt,” you say and he smiles.

“Perfect.”

***

By the time the school day finally comes to an end, you’re exhausted. Javy ended up taking the bags from your car with him so you didn’t have to find space for them in your classroom and Jake and Josie got the front office to see what they can do to try and pull footage from the security tapes in the parking lot to find out who hit your car. You had to make the call to your insurance company while your students took their afternoon nap and you just want to go home and take an early night. You’re packing up your things after helping with pickup duty when a knock at your door makes you look up. Javy waves through the window and you motion for him to come in.

“Hey, you’re early,” you say, looking up at your clock that lets you know he’s fifteen minutes early to be exact.

“Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you weren’t waiting.” He says and you give him a tired smile.

“Thanks again for doing this, and sorry for the inconvenience.” Javy shakes his head as you collect your belongings. He holds out a hand for your backpack and you tentatively hand it to him and he slings it over a shoulder with ease. The floral patterned fabric looks comical against his dark t-shirt and muscled shoulders but he doesn’t seem to mind.

“Meep, you’re not an inconvenience.” He says and you can’t help the way your heart flutters at the easy yet sincere way he says it. He reaches a hand out to you and you’re surprised to find that you take it, letting him hold your hand as the two of you walk out.

When you get to the parking lot, Javy leads you toward a forest-green Range Rover SUV. “This is my usual ride.” He explains, before opening the trunk and placing your backpack next to the bags you’d sent with him earlier. As Javy pulls out of the parking lot he turns to you. “I don’t want you to feel like I only offered to drive you because I wanted to get you alone, but I’ve been wanting to talk to you. Well, more like apologize to you.” You twist the seatbelt nervously as Javy finally addresses the elephant in the room.

“What I did that day wasn’t just shitty, it wasn’t fair to you.”

“I mean it wasn’t really though?” You say, shifting your gaze down to your lap. “Even when we signed the contract, I knew there would be other girls, you know? I mean you have needs and I told you I wouldn’t have sex with you. I just… I guess I expected you to be more private about it since we were supposed to be dating.” When Javy doesn’t say anything you look up to see him gaping at you.

“You thought I’d be seeing other girls while I was dating you?” His voice is touched with disbelief and you try to ignore his word choice.

“I mean there wasn’t exactly a celibacy clause, and sure I never planned on seeing anyone else, but that didn’t mean I expected you not to.” You shrug. “It’s not like your job was on the line.”

“Roadie no… no… I… I never had any intention of seeing other girls when I was with you. I just…” He sighs and you think maybe it sounds a bit shaky. “Hold on,” he makes a turn and you look up in time to see him pull into a fast food parking lot. Once he parks, he turns his attention fully to you. “I mean it. I didn’t plan on seeing anyone else while we were dating.”

“Pretending to date,” you interject and he nods.

“Right, yes,” he says. “Look, I haven’t been in a real relationship in years, Roadie. I just… well I told you some of it already. I’ve had a lot of people leave me in my life: my dad, my uncle, Jake. And I know it’s not a good reason, but I hated how that made me feel. I hated being left alone so I never wanted to feel that way again, and I didn’t want to ever make someone else feel that way, so I decided that casual relationships were the best way to do that. The girls always knew it wasn’t going to turn into anything real, I was always very adamant that they knew that going in, and so they didn’t care if I left, and I didn’t care when I did. And then I met you, and I know it was supposed to be an act, but it, it was the closest thing I’d had to something real in a long time and I got scared. Seeing our pictures in the tabloids, and then meeting people at your job, and meeting your kids, it felt so real and the idea of it ending, knowing it would hurt, freaked me out.”

“I was flirting with those girls before I even fully thought about it. I didn’t even consider that it would hurt you the way it did because I was so busy worrying about how I didn’t want to get hurt, and I’m sorry about that. I really never intended to hurt you. I promised you that I wouldn’t and I broke that promise and I’m so sorry.” When you look up from your hands, you see Javy’s eyes widen in response to the tears tracking down your cheeks.

“When I was a senior in high school,” you whisper and you hate how weak your voice sounds. “This guy on the football team asked me out. He wasn’t the star quarterback or anything but I’d never had a boyfriend before. I’d never even had a boy give me the time of day, and I was so excited that I forgot to be nervous. He wanted me. He actually wanted someone like me.” You smile slightly through the tears as they keep flowing. “He was perfect. He was so sweet and thoughtful. I didn’t really have any friends in high school and for the first time, I wasn’t alone. It felt so nice.” You wrap your arms around yourself to try and keep your hands from shaking. “And then he took me to prom and it was perfect, it felt like a dream come true. Then I went to the bathroom to touch up my makeup and I guess I didn’t take as much time as he expected because when I got back all his friends were high-fiving him and giving him money.” You swallow to try and dispel the lump in your throat but it won’t go away. You shake your head. “Turns out they’d had a bet over it all. It was all just a game to them.” You hate how small you sound but you manage to get the words out. “I felt so stupid that I didn’t see it sooner, you know? But I never once considered it or questioned why he’d want to be with me of all people. It must have been a lot of money if he was willing to put up with me for four whole months.” You’re shaking now. You’ve never told anyone the truth about Andrew. Not even your parents knew, you’d just told them that you’d broken up because you were going separate ways for college.

“Roadie…” You have to force yourself to look up at Javy. You expect pity, second-hand embarrassment maybe, but what you’re met with is white-hot rage. You flinch away on instinct at the intensity in Javy’s eyes. “What’s his name? I’m going to kill him.” You start with surprise at Javy’s words.

“It was over a decade ago, Javy, it doesn’t matter.” You shake your head, trying to talk him down. Javy shakes his head back and then he’s opening his door and getting out of the car. You sit up straighter, trying to see where he’s going and you’re surprised to find he’s coming around to your side. For a second, you consider locking the door in a moment of fear but you leave it. Javy said he wouldn’t hurt you. Javy swings your door open and before you can ask him what’s going on, he wraps you in his arms, pulling you close. You squeak in surprise, your seatbelt digging into your neck at the awkwardness of the position.

“It does matter. It clearly still makes you upset, so yes it does matter. You matter.” He enunciates the last sentence as he squeezes you tight. “And I’m so sorry that that happened to you, and I’m even more sorry if I ever for a single moment made you feel like you were reliving that.” Your heart aches as you lean into Javy’s touch and take a deep breath, breathing in the now-familiar scent of him. There’s a touch of sweat under the usual cloud of cologne but instead of wrinkling your nose at the intrusion, you sink into it, relishing in its familiarity.

***

You’re not sure how long you and Javy stay locked in the embrace but eventually, your neck hurts enough that you pull away. When Javy looks at you he notices the seatbelt digging into your neck and hisses at the sight as he instantly goes to slide his warm hand between your skin and the belt. “Shit, Roadie, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know,” you reassure him and when he looks at you, you know that he understands that your words are about more than just the seatbelt. He leans his head against the frame of the car and looks down at you for a moment longer before he looks behind him at the fast food place you’ve found yourselves in the parking lot of.

“You hungry?” He asks and you give him a watery smile as you nod.

***

Not long after, Javy’s back on the road and you’re eating fries next to him as San Diego traffic crawls around the car. “Look,” Javy says, breaking the comfortable food-induced silence you’ve descended into. “I know you told Zam you wanted out of the contract, but you still need to make sure you can keep your job, right?” You nod, taking a sip of your drink as you consider what Javy’s proposing.

“We have a better idea of where we’re both coming from now, and I think we could do this right if we tried again, but it’s up to you.” You nod slowly as you take a bite of your burger and hold out the fries to Javy’s outstretched hand.

“I think so,” you say slowly, “everyone already thinks we’re dating, and like you said, I do still need a solution to my job problem.”

“I’d want to propose a few changes to the original plan, though,” Javy speaks up and you nod carefully as he smiles around the fries he tosses into his mouth. “Maybe I’m not your real boyfriend, but I’d like to be your friend if that’s okay with you.” You smile shyly around your straw as you nod.

“I think that could be arranged.” You say and he grins at you.

“Good, and I’m going to be straight up with you. I won’t see other girls. I don’t want to see other girls. And it’s not an inconvenience. You’re not an inconvenience, not to me, and if I ever make you feel like you are? You have full authority to kick my ass.” You giggle and he fixes you with a hard look. “I mean it, Meep, if not you then I suppose Josie can do it, I’m sure she’s dying to at this point.” You make a point to look away with a shy smile when he gives you a knowing look. “And the minute you don’t want to do this anymore? Say the word and we’re done. No fuss, no bus.”

“Okay,” you say and Javy reaches across the console to squeeze your hand in his.

“I’m not very good at this, whether it's real or fake boyfriend stuff, but I’m going to try as hard as I can to do it right this time. I promise I won’t hurt you, and this time I’m going to keep that promise. As the traffic continues to crawl and you listen to Javy chatter on about anything and everything, you wonder if you’re going to be able to keep up your half of the bargain, because while you don’t have much experience in the friend or girlfriend department, you’re sure that what you’re starting to feel for Javy is more than friendship.

A/N: So I know there was a lot in that chapter, but how are we feeling about the big reveal?

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goldenseresinretriever · 4 months ago

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You Catch More Bees With Honey Masterlist

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe

Summary: Bradley Bradshaw, blindsided by a team he trusted like family has been traded to the San Diego Dogfighters. Across the country from the place he calls home, Bradley feels lost and betrayed. Not to mention the familiar faces and ghosts from his past that he now has to face every day at work. Bradley’s caught between wanting to show his former team the mistake they made in double-crossing him and wondering if it’s time to hang up his skates after one final season. You’re living your dream as the PR representative for the Dogfighters. When Coach Maverick made a bid to bring his godson to the team, you hadn’t batted an eye. Bradley was a good teammate, and a good player. Unfortunately, the Bradley that shows up in San Diego is nothing like your research suggested. He’s moody, irritable, aggressive, and angry, throwing a wrench in all your careful planning. What’s caused such a drastic change in him? And can you figure out how to help him before he makes a mistake you can’t fix?

Series CW: 18+ ONLY, swearing, dead parents, drunkenness, alcohol consumption, violence, sports violence, blood probably, angst, fluff, eventual smut, age gap (28 and 38), enemies to lovers, suggestive language, hockey inaccuracies etc. There will be individual chapter warnings. No use of Y/N.

A/N: This is a repost of my completed series, You Catch More Bees With Honey. It was originally posted in November-March 2023, and was lost when my blog was deleted.

Main Series: COMPLETED

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Oneshots

Nothing here yet!

Blurbs

Nothing here yet!

#san diego dogfighters au #San Diego dogfighters #San Diego dogfighters hockey au #you catch more bees with honey // goldenseresinretriever #ycmbwh // goldenseresinretriever #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x you #bradley rooster bradshaw #Bradley rooster Bradshaw x reader #Bradley rooster Bradshaw x you #rooster x reader #rooster x you #top gun maverick hockey au #top gun maverick #top gun #TGM #no use of y/n

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goldenseresinretriever · 4 months ago

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False Confidence: Chapter 6

Pairing: Javy “Coyote” Machado x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe

Series CW: 18+ ONLY, swearing, angst, fluff, fake relationship, suggestive language, anxiety, jealousy, infidelity, school system inaccuracies, hockey inaccuracies etc. There will be individual chapter warnings. No use of Y/N.

Word Count: 5.6k

A/N: Oops another one that ran a weee bit long 🫣

Previous Chapter // Series Masterlist // Next Chapter

It’s finally Tuesday and you’ve been trying to calm your nerves all morning. You’ve been disguising it as the same infectious excitement bubbling in your classroom over the fun activities planned for this afternoon. You glance at the clock, twisting a lock of your hair around your finger absently as you wait for your students to come in from recess. You’re meant to be setting things up for the octopus stew on the patio outside your classroom and looking out onto the playground in the distance. The parent volunteers should be here anytime now. You check the pots that you’ve had boiling on a camping stove in the corner of the classroom before you start unwrapping the Tupperware you brought of hotdogs meticulously cut into small octopi. You reach for where you laid the apron you brought from home to start putting it on but your hands don’t find the fabric so you turn and come face to face with Javy.

“Javy!” You yelp in surprise and almost drop the Tupperware in your hands. He holds his hands up in mock surrender, one holding the apron you were searching for. You clutch the box to your chest as you struggle to slow your racing heart.

“Hey there, Roadie. You okay?”

“You scared me!” You say indignantly and you reach for the apron in his hands. “Now give me that,” he pulls his hand back and you frown at him. “Javy, I’m at work right now, I don’t have time for your games.”

“Easy, Beautiful, I’m just trying to help, okay?” He unfurls the apron and holds it out, spinning his finger in silent direction and you sigh before complying. He eases the apron over your head before pulling the strings taut and tying them behind you. “There you go,” he says as you turn back around. “What can I do to help?” he asks and you hand him the Tupperware.

“Open that while I stir,” you direct before you go back to the pots and open two other Tupperware full of chives and olives that you pre-sliced last night.

“Yes ma’am,” Javy says and you hear the pop of the Tupperware lid as you stir the vegetables into the two pots. “What’s with the two pots?” He asks as he comes to stand beside you.

“One’s vegetable broth for the tofu octopi,” you gesture to the last unopened box and Javy moves to open it as well. “The other is chicken stock for the traditional hotdog octopi.” You explain and Javy nods as he passes you the hotdog box and you carefully pour them into their pot.

“Huh, we never had that when I was in kindergarten. It’s cool though, so all the kids can join in.” He says and you smile to yourself as he passes you the tofu octopi. You frown down at them. “What?” he asks.

“I had to improvise a vegetarian substitute on the fly and I have a feeling they're going to fall apart in the soup.” You say, not taking your glare off the octopi in the box. Javy reaches over, placing a hand on the box and you assume he’s just doing that to take a closer look until he twists the box and you squeak in shock as the tofu octopi topple into the broth below. “JAVY!”

“Sometimes you just have to take a chance,” he says and you twist to look at him to see the ghost of a smile on his lips. “You never know if you’re accidentally going to find something amazing.” You swallow, hard and turn back to the soup, pushing one of the ladles in his direction.

“Shut up and stir. You’re on hotdog duty, I can’t have you accidentally crushing the tofu.”

“Yes, chef,” he chirps and you glare at him. “What are the odds I get to kiss the cook?” He asks, smirk widening to show his teeth and you scowl.

“Absolutely none.” You deadpan and go back to your stirring as he chuckles.

Before he can retort the door to your classroom swings open a few of the parent volunteers trickle out and you’re greeting them. A few of them start up idle small talk before one of them turns to Javy.

“I haven’t seen you around here before, whose parent are you?” one of your students’ mother asks and you don’t miss the way her eyes linger a little too long as she sizes up Javy and you feel a twist in your chest as a sour taste fills your mouth. Javy laughs a little too easily for your comfort before he shakes his head.

“No one’s, I’m Roadie’s boyfriend.” He holds out a free hand to shake hers but the mother is dumbfounded.

“No way! That’s crazy!” You flinch slightly at the blatant disbelief in her voice. She takes his hand then and you hate the way your stomach twists as her perfectly manicured fingers wrap around his and you freeze as she pulls him into a hug that lasts a little too long for your comfort, especially given the fact that you know she’s supposedly happily married. When she finally lets go the awkward moment is broken by the arrival of more parents.

“Javy Machado, you have GOT to be kidding me?!” One of the dads looks like he’s just won the lottery. “Man, I’m such a big fan, this is crazy.” Javy shakes his hand goodnaturedly while you mentally scramble to find a way to gain control of the situation. While you don’t have any issues controlling your students, their parents are a completely different beast.

“Just here to help out,” Javy says and the man just shakes his head.

“Is it like a community outreach event or something?”

“Oh no,” Javy says and he scratches the back of his neck, chagrinned. “I’m helping out my girlfriend.” He says and he steps towards you, meeting your eyes before sliding a casual arm around your shoulders as you stir. He taps your arm discreetly three times before he presses a casual kiss to your temple.

“OH.” The dad says, looking between the two of you. “That’s really cool of you man, thanks for coming out.” You resist the urge to roll your eyes as you glance at your watch. It’s about time for you to collect your kids so you nudge Javy gently.

“Hey, do you think you can take over? I need to grab the kids.”

“Aw, Roadie you trust me?” Javy gives you a saccharine smile and you shake your head.

“Absolutely not,” you turn away from him and call out to one of the other volunteers. “Allison, do you think you can take over here while I get the kids from recess?” She comes over and you hand her your ladle while Javy mock-pouts at you. You roll your eyes as you walk away.

***

Javy wasn’t sure what he expected when he asked to join your class today. It was more of an impulsive thought than anything else and now he has to admit he feels a little out of his depth. Between the dads whispering amongst themselves as they point at him when they think he’s not looking and the moms who keep giggling and the one who keeps blatantly flirting with him, he’s ready to go home. He stirs his pot obediently while making polite small talk with Allison. She can’t be that much older than you and she has a put-together appearance that screams PTA mom and Javy’s definitely intimidated. She doesn’t seem curious about him like the other moms, though, and he’s more than happy to just listen while she rattles on about school politics and some other woman named Felicia who was apparently supposed to be here but backed out at the last moment “like she always does.”

He’s distracted as the sound of a symphony of tiny chatter reaches his ears and he turns to see you leading a chaotic line of little kids towards him. While you always seem to be making yourself smaller when you’ve been around him and other adults, you stand tall as you lead your little group and he’s reminded of a mother duck and her little ducklings. You look positively adorable today, having traded in your usual dresses for a pair of overalls and a scarf in your hair and you’ve got the bright red apron tied over the outfit that makes Javy’s heart warm in a weirdly domestic way.

“Everyone, look who’s here!” You say in a voice that’s bright and full of energy in a way he’s never heard from you and it feels like stepping out of a building into blinding sunlight. The kids squirm excitedly from their line and he can tell their second away from descending on the group of parents. “Can we say thank you to all the lovely people who came to help us today?” You ask, and a chorus of thank yous rises from the kids. You introduce each of the parents and their kids raise their hands excitedly when you ask who they are. When you reach the end of the parents, one of the kids raises their hand and you call on them.

“Yes, Alana, what is it?”

“Ms. Roadie?” Javy’s heart melts as he hears the little girl use your nickname and judging from your expression it’s not an uncommon occurrence. “Who’s he?” She points at Javy and you follow her little finger before you smile.

“Everyone, this is Mr. Machado. He was nice enough to want to come help out today, and he’s a big fan of octopus soup. Can we all say hi to Mr. Machado?”

“Hi, Mr. Machado!” A chorus rises from your students.

“Whose daddy are you?” Alana asks and Javy doesn’t miss the strangled noise that comes out of your mouth and he fights the urge to laugh.

“I’m not anyone’s daddy, Alana. I’m Ms. Roadie’s boyfriend.” He watches twenty-four pairs of eyes widen to the size of saucers.

“Ms. Roadie, you have a boyfriend?!” One of the little boys yells at you and you blink twice before you’re back in teacher mode.

“Yes, yes I do.” You say, giving Javy an apologetic look that’s mixed with panic.

“Are you two going to get married?” A small blonde girl asks and it’s Javy’s turn to choke. You look too stunned to speak and Allison sweeps in, authoritatively clapping her hands.

“Okay, that’s enough questions, why don’t we get started with the octopus stew?” The kids are thankfully distracted enough at the thought of food that you’re both given a reprieve from the question.

***

You exchange a panicked look that you see mirrored in Javy’s eyes. You make your way over to the pots while Allison assumes control and starts leading the students back into the classroom to wait for the stew. “You okay?” He asks and you shake your head.

“This was a bad idea,” you say as you struggle to unwrap the styrofoam bowls and Javy reaches out to take them from you, tearing through the plastic with a flex of his forearm that you catch yourself staring at.

“What was a bad idea?” He asks, casually.

“You, here.” You say, unable to hide how flustered you are by the burden of your ruse and the already heavy burden of the responsibilities of your job.

“And why’s that?” He’s surprisingly calm about it.

“It’s too much. I can’t- I don’t think I can-” You blubber and almost drop the bowl you’re currently filling until Javy takes it from you and places it on the table next to you before taking both your hands in his.

“Hey, hey Meep listen to me. I need you to breathe.” You take a shaky breath and he nods, encouragingly. “There you go, that’s good. It’s going to be okay. I’m sorry if you didn’t want me to tell people here that we’re dating, I should have let you lead and just followed along. But you’ve got this.” He squeezes your hands. “You’re a great teacher and the kids clearly love you. So let's go in there and eat some octopus stew, okay?” You nod, your breathing already stabilizing. “I need to hear you say it, Beautiful.”

“Okay,” you whisper.

“Louder,” he urges and you frown at him.

“Okay.” You say indignantly and he smiles.

“There she is. Let’s get these bowls filled shall we?” You nod just as the dad who was talking to Javy earlier comes out to start helping shuttle bowls inside for distribution and Javy hands him the first few before he continues to help you fill them.

***

You’ve calmed down by the time the bowls have been filled and distributed and you make your way to the front of the classroom. “Alright, everyone! Now that everyone has some octopus soup, let’s be sure to be careful and blow on it because it can be very hot! But first, why don’t we show our guests what we’ve been learning this week?” The kids cheer and you reach over to pick up your phone and turn on the speaker on your desk. “Is everyone ready to sing?” The music starts and you lead your students in the song. They all sing along and by the last chorus, you realize that Javy’s singing along from where he’s posted supervising one of the tables. He catches your eye and smiles as he sings along.

After the song is done, you leave it playing on repeat as your students dig into the food and you make sure the adult volunteers each get a bowl, ending with Javy. “How is it?” you ask as you pause next to him before making your next round of the classroom.

“I mean, it’s definitely not as good as I remember, probably since it's just hotdogs and olives in chicken stock, but not bad.”

You chuckle, “Don’t forget the chives.”

“How could I ever forget the chives?” He says as he takes a comically large slurp and you bat at his arm.

“Stop that, you’re supposed to be setting a good example.” He raises a hand in surrender.

“Fine, fine,” he pauses, looking around. “Wait, Roadie where’s your bowl?”

“Oh,” you fidget nervously. “There wasn’t enough left over,” you clock his expression and rush to assure him. “It’s fine though, like you said, it’s not exactly fine dining.” You pause your rambling as Javy’s spoon stops by your lips. “J-Javy…” you stammer at his brazen action. “Javy, I can’t I’m at work.”

“Can’t or won’t?” He asks and you feel your cheeks heat. He taps your lips with the spoon.

“Javy’s you’re going to spill!” You say as carefully as you can.

“Then open up, Meep.” You glare at him as you open your mouth and he spoons the soup into it. “That wasn’t so hard, was it, Meep?” He says as you swallow.

“I’m going to turn YOU into octopus stew.” You growl quietly at him and he laughs deeply as you walk away.

***

Half an hour later you’re cleaning up alongside the other volunteers as the kids head off to their actual lunch. The last of the parents say their goodbyes to you and then it’s just you and Javy as you tie off a trash bag. “Here, I’ll take that on my way out.” You look up to see Javy holding out a hand to you.”

“Oh, it’s fine, Javy, I’ve got it.” He doesn’t move, however, and that’s how Josie find the two of you when she walks in with her lunch.

“Oh, Javy! I forgot you were going to here today.” She most certainly didn’t since it had been the only thing she wanted to talk about this morning. He gives her a tight-lipped smile in response.

“Josie.” He nods curtly before turning to you, flexing his fingers in your direction in silent request for the trash bag. “I was just about to leave. Roadie give me the bag.” You’re about to protest again when Josie snatches the bag from your grip and practically throws it at Javy.

“Thanks, Javy, that’s so sweet of you.” You swallow hard at the barely disguised animosity between the two of them.

“It’s nothing.” He says tightly before turning back to you. “Roadie, I wanted to invite you to come out tonight. A group of us are going to karaoke tonight and after that rendition of Octopus Stew, you have to join.” Your cheeks flame instantly.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but he’s right. Roadie you should go.” You round on Josie with a surprised look.

“You’re not going?” You ask, and she shakes her head.

“Not on a school night, sorry hon. But the other girls will be there, you should go. They don’t bite.” It’s not the girls biting that you’re worried about but you don’t bring that up.

“Then it’s settled,” Javy says and you whip around back to him. “I’ll text you the address. We usually start getting there around 7, I’ll see you there.” You gape as he hefts the trash bag and heads at the door, turning when he gets there, giving you a wave before he disappears.

You round on Josie. “Jo!”

“Oh, don’t Jo me, Roadie, you should go! Who knows? Maybe you’ll even have fun!” Josie says as she pulls up a chair to your desk and settles down with her lunch.

“I can’t sing in front of people!” You insist as you slump into your chair across from her.

“You sing in front of people every day, hon.” She says and tilts her head at the classroom behind her.

“That’s different,” you pout and she waves her fork at you.

“So just pretend they’re your students. Imagine them as a room full of cute little kindergarteners. If it helps, I’m sure Zam has their actual baby pictures and if she doesn’t she can find them for you.” You shake your head.

“I don’t think I can do it.” You say and you hate how whiny your voice sounds.

“So don’t. No one said you have to sing anything. Just show up, and hang out with everyone. And if it’s awful? Call me and I’ll come and save you.” You go quiet and scrutinize your sandwich while Josie watches you over her pasta salad.

“Why would you do that?” You say, finally.

“Because you’re my friend and I love you?” She says nonchalantly and you pause for longer than you’re comfortable with before you nod and go back to your sandwich.

***

The karaoke place is in a nice part of town and you glare at the full set of street parking spaces in front of the bar. You hate having to parallel park as it is and now you can’t even find a spot. A sharp honk from behind you forces you to keep driving past the front and attempt to find parking as you make the world’s most convoluted loop around the block. Fifteen minutes later, you’re on the verge of tears as yet another car honks angrily at you as you continue your search for your third time around the block. You’re about to just give up and go home when your phone starts to ring and Nat’s name comes up on the screen of your car. You take a deep breath before you tap the screen to answer the call and then Nat’s voice is filling the car.

“Hey, Roadie! Javy said he invited you to come tonight and I wanted to make sure he gave you the address?”

“Y-yeah he did, I just, I’m trying to find a place to park.” You hate how defeated you sound. “Is there some kind of lot I’m supposed to know about because this is my third time around the block and I still can’t find a-” Another car honks behind you and you snap. “STOP HONKING AT ME, I’M TRYING, DAMMIT!” You snap, forgetting that Nat’s still on the line.

“Hold on Roadie, I’m coming, I’ll show you some spots that we usually try when it’s a busy night.” You struggle out an affirmative as you try not to die of embarrassment as you make another loop around and Nat waves from the sidewalk outside the bar when you make it back around. She runs over and slides into the passenger seat and your feet are on the gas, too scared of getting honked at again. Nat directs you down some side streets and lo and behold you finally find a parking spot.

“Thanks,” you murmur, still embarrassed as you climb out of the car and follow Nat back toward the bar.

“Don’t worry about it. People can be such assholes, honestly, there’s no reason to honk over nothing.” She says and gives you a comforting smile that you can’t help but return.

When you get to the bar you’re pleased to find that it’s clean, well-lit, and much nicer than you would have expected. You spot Jake, Bradley, Zam, Mickey, and a few other people you don’t recognize at a table near the back. Jake waves when he sees you and you manage a shy smile before you wave back. “Roadie!” He calls out when you get closer, “glad you could make it!”

“Thanks for having me,” you say, twisting the strap of your purse as Zam scoots over to make space for you next to her. Nat sits on your other side. There are two girls on Zam’s other side that you don’t recognize. The older one looks about your age and she reaches a hand over to you.

“Hi, Roadie! I’m Bugs, the team physician and Jake’s girlfriend. It’s so nice to finally meet you! Jake’s been talking about you, nonstop!” The other girl looks significantly younger than the rest of the group and if you didn’t know better you’d think she was a college student. She tilts her chin in greeting.

“I’m Dragon, the goalie development coach.” You give her a timid nod back. The boy sitting next to her has a sweet face behind round glasses, and he gives you a friendly wave. “I’m Bob, I’m one of the goalies.” He introduces himself and you smile slightly.

“Roadie! My main competition!” Mickey exclaims and you have to giggle at that. You and Mickey trade off on babysitting duty for the Fitch kids so you’ve crossed paths on more than one occasion. Zam laughs as well. “It’s so cool that you came out tonight! What are you thinking of singing?” You curl into yourself a little at that.

“I-I’m not sure yet.”

“You want first dibs?” Jake asks around the chicken wing he’s currently devouring and your mortification must show on your face because Bradley pipes up.

“He’s kidding, obviously.”

“You just want to go first, Bradshaw,” Jake says good-naturedly while he licks sauce off his fingers. “You wouldn’t guess it, but he’s such a microphone hog.” He says conspiratorially to you even though the whole table can hear and Bradley rolls his eyes, shoving a good-natured elbow in Jake’s direction.

“Where’s Javy?” You ask since he seems to be the only person missing that you’re aware of. Jake frowns at that.

“Good question, he said he was getting beers for everyone, but that was a while ago.” He cranes his head in the direction of the bar, but there are too many people in the way to get a clean line of sight.

“I’ll go look for him,” you offer, and Nat scoots out of the way so you can get out of the booth.

“I’ll come with you,” she says and Zam scoots out behind you as well.

“Make it three, I want cheese fries.” Bradley reaches a hand over the table to grab her wrist.

“Put it on my tab, Honey,” and Mickey makes exaggerated kissing sounds as Zam disengages her wrist from his grip with a smirk.

“I’ll think about it,” she says, sticking her tongue out at him and he frowns slightly before rolling his eyes as Zam links arms with you and drags you towards the bar. The line is long so the three of you join the end of it and still aren’t any closer to being able to see the bar or Javy. Zam squeezes your arm. “I’m so glad you came out, tonight Roadie! We never have enough girls so we’re always outnumbered. This is perfect!” You force a smile as her bubbly personality threatens to overwhelm you. Nat squeezes your other arm.

“It’s nice to have at least one other sane person here.” She says with a wink and Zam gapes at her.

“You did NOT just say that!” She says and Nat shrugs.

“The truth hurts,” and she laughs and you can’t help but join in. You hear the microphone crackle and Bradley has taken up the microphone first. Zam cheers, waving to him and he grins at her before the bar fills with the sound of Jerry Lewis’s “Great Balls of Fire.” He has a good voice and the three of you enjoy the performance as the line creeps forward. Bradley’s finished and Jake’s gone through a frankly impressive rendition of Mamma Mia by ABBA, and now Mickey’s serenading the bar with some sweet-sounding song in Spanish when the bar finally comes into view and your eyes find their target and your feet stop.

Javy’s standing by the bar, a beer in hand with not one but two model-looking girls standing on either side of them. One has a hand on his bicep and you can’t help the way your stomach drops. The other is looking him up and down like he’s a three-course meal and you feel pain lance through you as you see him return the favor.

“What the FUCK?” Zam says next to you and you realize both your companions have also spotted Javy. Nat squeezes your hand tightly but you feel numb. “I’m going to kill him!” Zam exclaims, tightening her grip on your arm.

“Not if I get there first,” Nat says in a scarily calm voice. You swallow, hard, unmoving until Zam starts to pull away, making to head towards Javy. You reach out instinctively, grabbing her arm.

“Wait, wait, Zam don’t!” You try to stop her and she rounds on you, eyes wide in surprise.

“I mean if you want to, be my guest, of course.” You shake your head.

“No, no, I-” you shake your head again. “Just leave it, Zam. It’s not worth it.” She gapes at you and even Nat looks surprised.

“Roadie, that’s your boyfriend over there flirting with not only one but TWO other women? And you want to just leave it alone?”

You swallow hard as traitorous tears threaten to rise to your eyes. “But he’s not, is he? He’s not my anything. So just leave it, and I’ll go home, it’s fine. Seriously.” She frowns at you, pulling her arm free of your grip before crossing them across her chest as she rounds on you.

“Yes, yes he IS your boyfriend. We’re at a a bar, we’re in public, full of people with cameras and social media, so yes Roadie, he’s your boyfriend and that does make this your problem.” You duck your head as your cheeks heat, ashamed.

“Hey, hey, calm down, both of you. Roadie if you don’t want to make a scene then that’s okay, we can take care of this a different way. But just know that if you do want to make one? We’ve got your back.” She gives you a grim smile and you shake your head. “Okay, now let’s be smart about this. Come with me, Zam you stay and get your fries. I’ve got this.” Nat leads you back towards the table and Bradley catches sight of the two of your first. You see his brows furrow at your grim expressions.

“Hey, what’s going on?” He calls and the others turn to look at you and Nat. “Where’s Zam?”

Nat jerks her chin back towards the bar, “she’s getting her fries. Jake we have a problem.” Jake arches a blonde eyebrow before his furrow too at Nat’s steely expression. “Javy’s probably not coming back with those beers anytime soon given that he’s busy flirting with some girls over by the bar.” Jake and Bradley’s jaws tighten at Nat’s words. “You,” Nat jabs a finger at Jake, “need to step the fuck up as a captain and his best friend, because this is unacceptable. Roadie shouldn’t have to clean up after him like he’s a fucking toddler. That wasn’t part of the agreement.” Jake nods, grimly.

“I’ll talk to him, Nat.” He turns to you next, “Roadie are you okay?” You shrug numbly.

“So get him back,” Dragon speaks up and you look over to where she’s scowling in the back of the booth.

“I-I don’t…” You stammer and she shakes her head.

“If you don’t have the words, use someone else’s.” You look confused until Mickey comes back to the table.

“Who’s up next?” He asks, holding out the microphone.

“Roadie,” Dragon says as she slides over Bugs to join you. “Come on, let’s go, Roadie.” You exchange a look with Nat and she follows you and Dragon up to the karaoke kiosk. “Remember,” Dragon says, turning to you. “If you don’t want to be yourself, you don’t have to be. Be someone braver. It helps me.” She says with a shrug and you swallow, nodding as you look through the song list.

***

You’ve started to tremble by the time you climb onto the stage on shaky legs, gripping the microphone like it’s a lifeline. You try to focus on Dragon’s words. You don’t have to be you. Right now you need to play a part, the girlfriend scorned. You think back to Zam and Nat’s righteous anger when they’d seen Javy and close your eyes to concentrate as guitar creeps through the speakers.

“Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, I'm beggin' of you, please don't take my man.” You open your eyes and focus on how you have a clear view of Javy and the girls. He hasn’t seen you yet and suddenly you feel a rush of power as you watch them from afar. “Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene please don't take him just because you can.” Your voice trembles but in it a way it adds to the mood of the song. It’s then that Javy finally looks up, probably due to your voice not being one of his friends’ and as you lock eyes with him the fear disappears from your mind.

“Your beauty is beyond compare with flaming locks of auburn hair with ivory skin and eyes of emerald green. Your smile is like a breath of spring, your voice is soft like summer rain and I cannot compete with you, Jolene.” You feel your body begin to sway slightly in time with the music as you watch Javy’s lips part in surprise.

“He talks about you in his sleep and there's nothin' I can do to keep from cryin' when he calls your name, Jolene.” You let a single tear that hasn’t dried from your lashes slide down your cheek. “And I can easily understand how you could easily take my man, but you don't know what he means to me, Jolene.” You give a slight shrug of your shoulders as you close your eyes again, letting yourself become the woman in the song.

“Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene I'm begging of you, please don't take my man. Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene please don't take him just because you can.” When you open your eyes again, the two girls who have been flirting with Javy are following his gaze to you and you feel the edge of your lip curl into the slightest hint of a smile.

“You could have your choice of men but I could never love again.” You shake your head every so slightly. “He's the only one for me, Jolene. I had to have this talk with you. My happiness depends on you and whatever you decide to do, Jolene.” You dip your chin slightly and you glance back from the girls to Javy and even from here you can see the guilt shining in his eyes as you go into the last chorus.

“Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, I'm begging of you, please don't take my man. Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, please don't take him even though you can. Jolene, Jolene.” Your voice is strong now and you grip the microphone like it’s a weapon rather than a support. Applause errupst from the bar, definitely loudest coming from your party’s small table. You see Dragon wolf-whistle and you give a slight curtsy in her direction.

When you step off the stage you hand the microphone off to Zam who looks impressed. “I’m heading home for the night, I have some lesson plans that need finalizing before tomorrow, but thanks for having me.” You give everyone a polite smile and no one moves to stop you as you make your way across the bar. You’re almost to the door when a hand wraps around your upper arm.

“Roadie!” Javy’s voice catches your ear and you turn your head to meet his gaze, cooly. “Wait, listen, I can explain.”

“NO.” The words are firm and he lets go of your arm at your sharp tone. “Fuck you, Javy.” You say coldly and then you turn and walk out of the bar, trying to ignore the bite of pain in your heart as you hear the door swing shut behind you, unobstructed

A/N: Yiiiikes, Javy’s really fucked up this time… how do we think he’s going to make it up to Roadie? Also since I’m the only one who grew up with octopus soup, apparently, here’s the song.

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goldenseresinretriever · 4 months ago

Text

False Confidence: Chapter 10

Pairing: Javy “Coyote” Machado x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe

Word Count: 5.6k

A/N: This might be my favorite chapter I’ve written so far 👀

Previous Chapter // Series Masterlist // Next Chapter

“What type of flowers do girls like?” A burst of raucous laughter crackles through the speaker of his phone and Javy glares at the screen as he rifles through his dresser, looking for a clean pair of socks. The woman on the screen slumps over the wooden counter she’s sitting at, tears in her eyes as she keeps laughing and Javy rolls his eyes. “Isa, I’m being serious.”

“I know!” The woman looks up from where she’s sprawled over the counter, wiping tears from her eyes as she shakes her head at him. “That’s the best part!” Javy flips his oldest sister off as he puts his hands on his hips.

“Come on, Isa, help me out here!” He considers hanging up on her, but he really needs her help. She turns her head to make eye contact with the camera, still sprawled across the counter. The look in her eyes is a combination of mirth with a sharp glint of something dangerous and Javy swallows nervously because she looks so damn much like their mother right now.

“Tell me what’s really going on, Javier, and then maybe I’ll help.” Her voice is dripping with danger that urges him not to push her but dammit he doesn’t have time for this. He’s supposed to pick you up in an hour and he doesn’t want to be late. His mother raised him better than that.

“I have a date. I feel like I should get her flowers.” He blatantly ignores the way his heart starts pounding as the four-letter word passes his lips and focuses on the cool glare his sister is angling at him as she sits back up.

“With the girl you’re dating?” Javy’s brow furrows in confusion before it hits him. Fuck.

“Isa… Isa I can explain,” he stammers but the look he gets from her has him snapping his mouth shut so fast that he swears his teeth rattle.

“Javier Antonio Machado… you were raised by not one but FOUR women and we have to find out you have a GIRLFRIEND from the MEDIA?!” Javy flinches. A heavy silence falls between them before Javy dares open his mouth.

“It’s not that simple Isa, it’s complicated. She’s not technically my girlfriend, well she is, but that’s only on paper, she just…” He hesitates and watches his sister’s suspicious eyes narrow so he plows on. “We’refakedating.” The words rush out before he can avoid them and he watches Isa’s eyes widen and he keeps going before she can stop him. “We’re fake dating but turns out she’s actually really nice, and I think I like her, but I’m not sure because I’ve never liked anyone like this before. I don’t want her to get hurt, least of all by me, but it’s probably inevitable, and I’m really trying not to think about that right now so I’m taking her out on a date because I think she’ll like it and I want her to like it so I was thinking I should buy her flowers but I’ve never bought flowers before, I mean I have once but those were just from the grocery store and I didn’t really think about it, and this time I am thinking about it and that’s why I’m asking WHAT KIND OF FLOWERS DO GIRLS LIKE!” His chest is heaving by the time he finishes and he can hear his heartbeat in his ears. For once his sister doesn’t say anything and he feels ridiculous, standing there like he’s just run a marathon staring at her staring at him.

“Do you know her favorite color?” Isa says finally and Javy blinks a few times before he realizes she’s asked him a question. He shakes his head even as guilt bites at his stomach for never asking. She purses her lips in thought as she looks around her at the rows of pots and various greenery. “Well then, let’s get to work, shall we?” Javy lets his shoulders slump in relief as he nods nervously at his sister as she picks up the phone and starts walking around the store.

***

“Roadie these are really good!” You look away from the bathroom mirror where you’re putting the finishing touches on your hair. Unlike last time, you’ve gone as simple as possible. The green dress is elegant and you’ve elected for your usual light makeup, except for the slight dusting of gold Nat tastefully brushed on your eyelids. As you shyly regard your reflection you can’t help but feel beautiful.

You follow the sound of Nat’s voice to your living room where she’s examining the various canvases leaning against the walls. The space isn’t traditional in any sense, lacking any entertaining furniture such as sofas and chairs. Instead, you’ve repurposed the space into a makeshift studio, the space taken up with easels and tables, canvases leaning against anything and everything in various states of completion. It’s a little chaotic but it works for you. Truth be told, you’ve had more people visit in the last month than in the last three years.

Earlier, you’d stared at your phone while sitting on your bed, brow furrowing as you hesitated over who to call. Normally, Josie would be the obvious choice, but normally she’d be the only choice since you didn’t have any other friends. Tonight, however, you were faced with the possibility of options, your phone feeling heavy with the weight of all the new numbers you’ve been collecting. You could still taste the bitterness in the back of your throat after Josie had dressed you for your last date with Javy and how you’d had to explain to her afterward why her thousand-dollar heels were somewhere at the bottom of the bay. Before you could overthink your decision, you’d called Nat, inviting her over to help you get ready for your date.

To your surprise, you’ve become comfortable around her. She knows Javy, and slowly but surely she’s getting to know you, and as much as you love Josie, you can tell how much animosity she harbors for Javy. With every day that passes, you’re realizing that somehow you’ve started falling for Javy and while you’re terrified of the realization, you’re even more terrified of how Josie will react to it. Nat, however, you don’t mind. She’s only ever known you as Javy’s fake girlfriend, so if she’s going to judge you over any of your choices, it’s that, and she’s already made it clear that she doesn’t.

You make your way over to see which canvas Nat is looking at and your cheeks heat as it comes into view. The canvas is covered in swathes of dark shades of blue, silhouetting the shapes of the edge of the cliff and the roiling water at the bottom. The background is so fierce and dark that it draws attention from the tiny figures in the corner at the edge, curled around each other. You don’t normally find yourself painting scenes from your life, but something about the salt in your lungs, and the way the wind whipped around you as you became aware of your body like a live wire, has been stuck in your throat every since so you’d let the feeling pour out of you onto the canvas. You had meant for it to be a landscape, but the figures in the corner, light bluish-gray forms with no defining features, had seemingly painted themselves, flowing out of your brush before you could stop them.

“Thanks,” you murmur and Nat turns from the canvas to you, smiling.

“I mean it, Roadie. The world deserves to see them.” You squirm with embarrassment under the compliment but manage to find your words.

“I actually, I have my first gallery show next week,” you splutter. You haven’t told anyone, despite jumping and dancing around your living room when you received the news. You’ve dreamed of having your art shown at a gallery for years, a dream you’d thought was out of reach for the time being until you’d gotten the call earlier this week. “It’s not much, just a pop-up event for one night, but it’s something.” It’s everything. Nat blinks at you for a long second before she screams and jumps up, almost knocking over the easel in her excitement and she wraps you tightly in a hug, jumping up and down and you can’t help but join in.

“Oh, Roadie! That’s amazing, congratulations!” She squeezes you tightly and you try to force down the tears welling up in your eyes at Nat’s enthusiasm, trying not to ruin the makeup you’ve just finished. “You have to give me the info so I can swing by!” You freeze, surprised at the offer. You hadn’t even considered that anyone would actually want to come.

“But, but you’ve seen everything already,” you wave a hand at the room around you. She looks at you like you’re crazy.

“I mean yeah, but I haven’t seen them all hung up! Plus, I want to come see YOU, silly! This is huge, we have to celebrate!” You swallow hard as your lip begins to wobble and Nat’s eyes soften as she pulls you back into a hug. “Hey, it’s okay, that’s what friends do, okay? We support each other, we cry together during the losses, and we celebrate the wins no matter how big or small. I’m so proud of you, Roadie and I hope you can be proud of you too.” You nod into Nat’s shoulder, sniffling as you try to hold back overwhelmed tears. When she pulls away, she motions for you to stay still while she disappears into your bedroom, coming back with a tissue that she carefully uses to dab at your wet eyes, making sure not to smudge your makeup. “One more thing,” she digs into her pocket before she shows you a clear tube and when you frown at it in confusion she unwraps the packaging before carefully applying the clear gloss to your lips. “There we go, subtle but has the perfect amount of zing.” She holds up her phone camera for you to examine the way your lips shine with the clear gloss. She’s right, it’s subtle, not tinted, but it makes your lips look for lack of a better word, juicy. It feels sexy while being simple and it[‘s your turn to hug Nat.

“It’s perfect, thank you, Nat.” She squeezes you back before letting you go and pressing the small tube into your hands.

“Just so you know?” She says with a fond smile. “I’m rooting for the two of you.” You feel your cheeks heat at her words and you surprise yourself when your next words come out.

“Yeah, me too.” Before she can reply your doorbell buzzes and your head jerks towards the door as your eyes widen. Javy’s here.

“Go get him, tiger,” Nat says as she pushes you towards the door, gently and you shuffle over, stopping to bend over and step into your shoes for the evening. Another product of your and Nat’s shopping spree, they’re simple wedges that provide good support and are much shorter than the shoes Josie lent you.

You unlock the door with shaking hands and the sight on the other side steals your breath. You’ve seen Javy in a suit multiple times before, from the day you met, to your first date, and then yesterday at the game, but the sight of him in a full tuxedo has your heart skipping a few beats. The tuxedo is a simple black but the sight of his crisp dress shirt buttoned to his throat, complete with a black bow tie has him looking more handsome than the sexy that his usual style tends to lean towards. You’re so busy ogling him that you don’t see the flowers at first but your breath catches as your eyes find the brilliant orange flowers. You reach out a shocked hand to trace the curves of the tiger lily blossoms as you try to ignore the voice in your head screaming that you have their pink cousins currently wilting on your kitchen table after you’d excitedly purchased them for yourself last week.

“Hi,” Javy says and his voice is so soft you almost convince yourself that he’s as out of breath as you are.

“Hi,” your voice is breathy as you finally tear your eyes away from the flowers back to his face. “Tiger lilies,” you whisper like it’s a question and he looks down at the flowers like he’s just remembering he’s holding them.

“They reminded me of you,” he says to the flowers before he looks back to you, and your brow furrows in confusion. The blooms are bright and bold, shaped like trumpets that announce their presence, nothing like you. “They’re delicate and shy,” he runs a finger along a bloom that’s slumped over slightly, “but they’re also bright and full of life.” He gives you a gentle lopsided smile that almost knocks you over. Even so simple and small, it feels like you’ve been hit by a sunbeam and you can’t help the way you smile back.

“Thank you, Javy, they’re beautiful, I love them.” You reach for them and as he hands them to you, you realize they’re in a vase already.

“My sister, she runs a flower shop, and she said if you should get a proper bouquet made so whoever you’re buying the flowers for gets a gift instead of a chore, or something like that.” He scratches the back of his neck with his now-empty hand.

Before you can answer, the door opens wider and Nat appears. “Well look at you, who knew you clean up so nice? I’m gonna head out so you guys can be on your way, but I’ll take those first.” She takes the vase from you and heads back inside as Javy gapes after her.

“Sorry, I invited her over to help me get ready-” Javy turns back to you, shaking his head.

“No, no, that’s fine, great even.” He pauses before thoughtfully adding, “She needs more friends.”

“JAVY MACHADO I HEARD THAT!” Nat yells from inside the house before she emerges, glaring at him. “Fuck you, too.” She says flashing the finger at him before stomping past the two of you and heading for the parking lot. Javy sticks his tongue out after her. “Have fun, you two, and Javy if you do anything stupid, I’m calling your mom!” She calls and you watch Javy blanche slightly at her words before he turns back to you. You watch the worry slide from his face as he looks at you.

“I know I’ve already seen you in the dress, but you look beautiful, Meep.” Your cheeks heat at his compliment. He offers you his hand and you take it without a second thought, letting him lead you down to the parking lot. When you reach his car you frown in confusion as he opens the passenger door of the Land Rover.

“Where’s your car?” You ask as he helps you into the passenger seat. Javy looks like a deer caught in the headlights as he answers.

“I, uh, thought we could just go out tonight. Just us, no press or anything.” You feel your cheeks heat to match the way his have to be.

“Oh,” you whisper.

“If that’s okay with you, I mean,” he stammers awkwardly. You consider his words. He’s giving you an out if you want it. This isn’t a part of the contract, and you both know that. And yet you don’t want to get out of the car.

“Yeah, that’s okay with me, Javy.” You try not to focus on the way relief transforms his face as he grins at you before closing the door and jogging around to the driver’s side.

***

Your eyes are wide as Javy hands his keys to the valet in front of a gallery that you recognize the name of. You’ve never visited but the artist’s name emblazoned on the banners outside makes you slightly dizzy. Javy offers you his arm and you take it before turning to question him. “Javy, what are we doing here?” You whisper urgently as he leads you inside and towards a table where a woman with a clipboard is seated. He ignores your question to address the woman.

“Machado, party of two.” He says, flashing a polite smile at the woman and she blinks at him in surprise before she checks the list on her clipboard and gives him a saccharine smile as she hands him a pair of paddles that catch your attention as Javy pulls you closer and you look up at him, surprised before you catch the predatory gleam in the woman’s eyes and the way Javy’s gone rigid against you. You curl against him, silently reassuring him with a squeeze of his arm. You feel him relax at your touch and then he turns away from her.

You reach for his hand, fingers brushing as you take the paddles from his hand, examining the numbers on them as Javy silently leads you to a pair of double doors and into a big room. There are tables around the room and a stage at the front with a podium. He leads you to a table that’s currently empty as people are still arriving. When you sit he finally turns to you, and you see exhausted frustration in his eyes and you reach out, placing a green-painted fingertip against his lips. “It’s okay, it’s going to be okay,” you whisper and his shoulders relax. You watch his lips pucker slightly in what could be construed as a kiss to your finger. You withdraw it and reach for his hand, squeezing it in yours. “Don’t let her ruin our night,” you remind him and he nods. In an attempt to take his mind off it, you gesture to the room. “Are you going to tell me what you’re doing here?” You ask.

He surprises you by leaning his forehead against the side of your head as you glance around the room. “Come on smart girl, you tell me,” he says and you hope he can’t hear the way your heartbeat is in your ears. You reach for the paddles he’s set on the table, turning one in your hand thoughtfully.

“An auction?” You ask, cursing the way your voice shakes in nervous excitement. He nods against your head before he straightens.

“Attagirl, I thought it might be something you’d be interested in,” he explains and your heart flutters in response. “Have you ever been to an art auction, before?” He asks and you shake your head.

“I can barely afford to make my own art let alone buy anyone else’s,” you admit before you can stop yourself and you cringe in embarrassment.

“Well that’s what I’m here for,” he watches your eyes widen in surprise and your mouth open to argue but he shakes his head. “My treat, if you see something you love, let me know. Plus, I need some pieces for my apartment, and I want to get something for my mom. I don’t really have a great eye for this kind of thing, so I figured I’d ask a professional,” he tips his head in your direction and you feel your cheeks warm. “You’ve seen my place, let me know if you see something that’ll look good there.” You nod, dizzy at the prospect of Javy valuing your opinion enough to want it.

“Okay,” you relent and the grin Javy turns on you may be worth more than all the art that’s going to be sold tonight.

***

“Javy,” you hiss as he raises his paddle, brow furrowed as he glares at a little old lady whose paddle is also up. The painting currently up for auction is a gorgeous modern impressionistic take on a rainy night in the French Quarter and the moment Javy had set his eyes on it, you’d seen the adoration and nostalgia in his eyes. It’s gorgeous and you think it’ll make the perfect centerpiece for his living room and you told him as much, but things have quickly spiraled out of hand.

“$30,000” the old lady exclaims indignantly and you feel sick to your stomach.

“$35,000” Javy retorts, and your eyes threaten to bug out of your face.

“$38,000” the old lady aims a sharp glare back at you and Javy.

“$50,000” Javy’s voice is almost lazy and you gape at him as he shrugs and smirks at the old lady who’s gone white as a sheet.

“$50,000 from the young man in the back. $50,000, going once,” The auctioneer calls, looking impressed. Javy arches a challenging eyebrow at the old lady who’s gaping at him. “$50,000, going twice,” Javy gives the old lady a nonchalant shrug. “Sold to the young man in the back for $50,000.” He finally turns to you and you’re still gaping at him.

“$50,000?!” You squeak at him and he shrugs.

“You said, and I quote, ‘It’s beautiful, and it would be like having a piece of home in your apartment and it would make the perfect centerpiece for the living room,’ and I remember telling you I trust your judgment.” You shake your head at him in disbelief.

“Not for $50,000!” You hiss and he rolls his eyes.

“I thought you believed in supporting artists,” he says, arching an eyebrow at you and you throw up your hands in exasperation. He leans in then, whispering so only you can hear. “You know if you let me see yours, I’d bet it’s worth a lot more than $50,000,” you roll your eyes even as heat creeps up your cheeks. Your art isn’t worth that much. You’re not so self-deprecating that you don’t think your art is good. It is, but it’s definitely not worth anything financially, especially since that’s not why you make it in the first place. Your art is a creative outlet, a way for you to process emotions that are too big for yourself, the words you can't bring yourself to say, a way for you to scream without saying a word.

You’re saved from retorting by the reveal of the next painting and your breath catches as the assistant steps away from the painting he’s just placed on the display easel. It’s a simple landscape at first glance, but the colors are what take your breath away. It’s a sunset over the bay, the cliffs beautifully silhouetted in shadows and you’re reminded of the view from Javy’s car on the way here tonight as the sun progressively sunk to the horizon. The flurry of oranges, purples, pinks, and blues, feels so perfect that you almost wish you’d painted it yourself. You almost don’t hear the auctioneer as he confirms the first bid until your ears catch the end of it. “...from the young man in the back,” you turn to Javy, lips parting in surprise as you catch him looking at you a fond smile on his face that he quickly schools.

“Javy,” your voice is a whisper but he just shakes his head gently as he turns back to the auction and counteroffers as bids come in from across the room. You have to excuse yourself, looking for the bathroom as the tears rise unbidden to your eyes. You dab carefully at your eyes as you stand in front of the mirror and try not to think about how Javy is currently spending thousands of dollars on you. You start with surprise as the door opens behind you and the little old lady from earlier walks in. You brace yourself for her anger but instead, she chuckles when she spots you before giving you a fond smile.

“Young love,” she remarks to no one in particular before she addresses you. “You’re a lucky lady, you know that? He reminds me of my Nathan,” she says with a bittersweet smile that you return as you nod. “Have a good evening,” she says simply before walking past you to a stall. You resist the urge to splash some water on your burning cheeks, leaving the bathroom before she finishes, hurrying to get back to Javy. As you approach the table, you spot a woman standing next to Javy whom you quickly recognize as the lady from earlier in the night. You frown as you approach and then you catch Javy’s voice. “I told you already, I have a girlfriend, so I’d appreciate it if you left us alone.” You can hear that he’s gritting the words out through his teeth and you feel anger wash through you. The lady doesn’t seem deterred by his words and you approach, hands shaking equally from nerves and rage. You watch as she places a possessive hand on Javy’s arm.

“I believe he asked you to leave him alone.” The harshness in your voice surprises you and you watch Javy and the lady turn towards the sound of your voice as you approach. “No means no.” You say firmly as you reach out and forcibly remove her hand from Javy’s arm. “Now please leave before I have someone come make you.” You don’t believe your own threat but she seems to as he eyes widen and then she turns and heads back the way she came as you glare after her. Once you watch her exit the room, you turn back to Javy, brows furrowed in concern. “You okay?”

***

Javy stares up at you like you’re an avenging angel, your gentle fingers replacing that woman’s claws on his arm. He shifts so the tablecloth hopefully hides the beginning of what he’s sure is going to be a very painful case of blue balls. He realizes you’re still looking down at him, worry swirling in your eyes and he almost pulls you into his arms then and there. His fingers itch to bury themselves in your hair and he wants to climb inside your skeleton to get as close to you as physically possible. Instead, he simply breathes the words rattling around inside his skull, “Thank you.” Your eyes soften and he can’t stop the way his eyes flit down to your perfect plump lips.

“That’s what friends do, right?” You say with a soft smile and your words are a proverbial bucket of ice water that’s been dumped over his head. Friends, right, friends. Javy doesn’t know much but he knows he’s never wanted to tear the dress off of one of his friends. He also knows he wouldn’t have just spent ten grand on a painting for a friend, but he also knows he needs to let you set the pace here. It’s the best advice he’s ever been given as much as he hates that it came from Bradley Bradshaw. As you sit back down next to him and turn your attention back to the auction he thinks back to a week ago.

***

“I just don’t want to fuck this up,” he admits, squirming in the chair he’s currently sitting in. Around him, curled up on the couch and sprawled on the floor are Bugs, Zam, Dragon, Nat, and Josie. Josie’s been glaring daggers at him since she arrived and honestly, he’s surprised that she showed up, but he has a feeling it has more to do with girl code than any particular desire to help him.

Zam regards him thoughtfully from where she’s seated on the couch, hugging a fluffy pillow that looks like a new addition. “Well that’s the first step, I think. You know what you want, and you know you don’t want to hurt her anymore,”

“Though why you hurt her in the first place is still a mystery,” Josie remarks from her spot next to Zam.

“That’s not why we’re here,” Bugs reminds her while giving Javy a soft look that tells him he needs to have a chat with his best friend about secretkeeping. “We’re trying to find a way to move forward, not back. Zam’s right, acknowledging the problem is the first step in making any progress toward a solution.

“What the fuck?” Javy’s stomach drops as everyone’s eyes follow his to where Bradley Bradshaw is standing at the entrance to the living room.

“Bear! You’re home!” Zam chirps happily, ignoring the irritation blossoming on her boyfriend’s face. It softens slightly at her greeting as he answers,

“Hey Honey,” before he turns back to the the scene taking place in the living room, roving over the girls’ faces before coming to a stop on Javy. “What the fuck is he doing here?” His frown deepens.

“Javy’s acknowledged that he’s in deep shit, and has called upon the sage knowledge of the Dogfighters’ Council of Ladies.” Bradley’s brow doesn’t budge.

“That still doesn’t explain why he’s HERE.” He points out and Zam rolls her eyes.

“Well we wanted to meet somewhere where all the ladies are,” she points out, waving a hand towards a small table next to where Bradley’s standing. Javy had cloaked it when he first arrived. On it are two picture frames, one of a couple that must be Bradley’s parents and the other of a woman who looks like an older version of Zam. There are also two vases, filled with daisies and irises respectively. The fight surprisingly goes out of Bradley as he follows Zam’s hand.

“Fine, am I ordering pizza?” He asks, heading for the kitchen, and Zam brightens.

“Yes, please!” He shakes his head but Javy can tell it's an endeared exasperation. “Okay now, back to business, ladies, what do we think Javy should do?”

“Leave her the fuck alone, that’s what,” Bradley calls from the kitchen where he’s tapping away at his phone.

“And why is that?” Zam turns to face him, glaring at him over the back of the couch.

“Are you kidding? She’s too good for him. She deserves better.” Bradley says without looking up and Javy hates the way his stomach tightens because he knows Bradley’s right.

“That’s rich coming from you, Bradshaw,” Dragon remarks and Bradley looks up, cocking an eyebrow at her. “Mr. Grumpy, ‘I emote with my fists,’ Mr. ‘I punched my girlfriend before the first date’ who’s dating someone that’s absolutely out of his league wants to talk about ‘too good’ and ‘deserves better?’” She arches an accusatory eyebrow right back at Bradley and in that moment Javy’s reminded of who her dad is. Splotches of heat climb up Bradley’s neck and he looks chagrinned. “You want to participate, maybe you should be the one giving Javy some advice.” Bradley puts down his phone and leans against the kitchen counter, looking at Dragon for a long moment before turning to Zam and Javy watches him watch her, fondness mixed with anxiety in his eyes.

Finally, he turns to Javy, almost against his will. “Fine, you want to get her back? First, apologize, and really mean it. If you don’t, don’t even bother. And if she accepts your apology? Take things at her pace, and give her control. She’s a nervous little thing, so let her take the lead. Only go as far as she lets you. Relationships are built on trust and right now you’re fresh out. You won’t get anywhere without it so you have to build it. Show her she can trust you. That’s it. The rest will take care of itself.” He shrugs before he picks his phone up again and continues ordering the pizza.

“Damn,” Josie speaks up. “I hate that he’s right.” She turns to Javy. “But I’ve been married to a hockey player for ten years and honestly that’s it. It all comes down to trust and respect. If you can earn that, you have a chance.” She thinks for a long moment, “Well that and she has to be attracted to you.”

“Is she?” Javy asks before he can stop himself. Josie snorts in response and it’s Nat that speaks up.

“Yup, definitely.” She pops the p and Javy’s head jerks to look at his friend. “That’s all I’m giving you, Javy, so don’t you dare come sniffing around for more. We hung out when she came to watch practice and she definitely likes you,” Javy tries to ignore the way his stomach flip-flops at the reveal of this new information.

“That poor girl,” Bradley mutters from the kitchen. “Alright, Machado, you got your advice, now get out of my apartment.” He jerks a thumb towards the hallway.

“But Bradley, what about the pizza?” Zam pouts at him.

“It’s ordered, but it’s Council-only, he’s not staying,” Bradley says, crossing his arms across his chest, leaving little room for argument. Dragon does anyway.

“You’re not on the Council,” she points out from where she’s sprawled out on the floor.

“I live here and I paid.” Bradley shoots back.

“I’ll pay half,” Javy offers and Bradley’s eyes narrow as they come back to him. “Or I could pay it all,” he amends and Bradley considers the offer.

“Fine, but the moment the food’s done, you get out.�� He states firmly and Zam cheers as Javy nods and pulls out his wallet.

***

Javy smiles to himself at the memory and the fact that Bradley had given him the money back on his way out with strict instructions to buy you some flowers with it. He’s doing his best, even if it’s not great. You seemed to like the flowers at least. But as he looks down to where you’re holding his hand, he wonders if maybe he’s not doing so bad after all.

A/N: Y’all… I think he’s in love 🥺

#san diego dogfighters #san diego dogfighters au #san diego dogfighters hockey au #false confidence // goldenseresinretriever #fc // goldenseresinretriever #javy machado x you #javy machado x reader #javy coyote machado x reader #javy coyote machado #javy coyote machado x you #javy machado #coyote x you #coyote x reader #top gun maverick #top gun maverick hockey au #tgm #top gun #no use of y/n

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goldenseresinretriever · 4 months ago

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Matcha Latte

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe but can be read as a stand-alone

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

CW: None, pure fluff, No use of Y/N.

Word Count: 0.5k

A/N: This is a repost from my completed series, Snitches Get Stitches. It was originally posted in October-November 2023, and was lost when my blog was deleted.

Series Masterlist

“I think I did something wrong, this tastes like grass.” Jake makes a face as he glares down at the cup in front of him. The recipe he’d found was deceptively simple and yet the green liquid in front of him tastes anything but. He squints at his phone screen again before raising the mug to his lips and grimaces as he takes another sip. Yep, still tastes like grass. Pudding lets out a concerned whine at Jake’s expression from where she’s sitting on the kitchen floor next to him. “I don’t even think you’d like this, girl, no matter how much you love eating grass.” She tilts her head at him. He hears the sound of your car pulling into the garage and glances at the mess in front of him, panicking. He’d hoped to have finished by the time you got here. He wanted to surprise you. After turning down his offer of coffee yesterday morning, he’d been thinking about learning to make a matcha latte. Thankfully the recipe hasn’t called for much and all he’d really needed to buy was the matcha powder and a sifter.

The click of the door opening seals his fate as you come in, wearing your usual scrubs and smiling when you see him. His heart melts a little at the sight and he wonders what it would be like to see that smile for the rest of his life. For the first time, he hopes his leg takes longer to heal if it means having you here, in his kitchen, looking like you belong in a way that knocks the breath from his lungs.

“Something smells good,” you smile again, shyer this time as you get closer to him and the urge to wrap you up in his arms and give you one of his signature bone-crushing hugs is intense as Jake side-eyes the disappointment on the counter. Before he can say anything about it, though, your face lights up as you see what he’s working on. “Jake, is that matcha?” You’re glowing. He did that.

He rubs the back of his neck, ruefully. “I was trying to make you a matcha latte since you said you don’t drink coffee but I don’t think I did it right.”

You pick up the mug, sniffing tentatively before taking a sip and sighing contentedly. “Jake, what are you talking about, this tastes amazing.” Jake’s brain had short-circuited the moment your lips touched the mug where his had been not five minutes ago. He shakes his head to clear it.

“Really? You’re not just saying that?” He says dubiously as you keep drinking, shaking your head.

“I don’t think your ego needs any more boosting than it already gets, do you?” You arch an eyebrow as you take another sip. “The only thing that would make this even better is some honey. You wouldn’t happen to-” He’s already moving, fishing around in the cabinets before producing the honey, and handing it to you. You squeeze a dollop in and he makes a mental note to remember that tomorrow. He watches you drink, a small smile on his lips as your butt wiggles cheerfully at the taste. He’s not even sure you know you’re doing it, but he’ll be damned if it’s the last time he gets that reaction out of you. If it’s grass you want to drink, it’s grass that he’ll make.

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goldenseresinretriever · 5 months ago

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Snitches Get Stitches: Prologue

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe

Summary: Jake Seresin, golden boy of the NHL and Captain of the Dallas Stars makes headlines when he unexpectedly signs with newly-formed San Diego Dogfighters. When your future seems at the verge of crashing down, you receive the opportunity of a lifetime to become the team physician for the Dogfighters. You never expected to be working directly with your favorite hockey player. Jake has a secret and you have a job to do. Will he be able to trust you enough to help and will you be able to trust him with your heart?

Series CW: 18+ ONLY, swearing, car accident, suggestive language, medical inaccuracies, hockey inaccuracies etc. No use of Y/N.

Word Count: 1.3k

A/N: This is a repost of my completed series, Snitches Get Stitches. It was originally posted in October-November 2023, and was lost when my blog was deleted.

Series Masterlist // Next Chapter

Two weeks out from the end of your fellowship should have felt better. Fifteen years of work and you were so close to the finish line that you could taste it. You’d worked your ass off, topped your classes over and over, sacrificing every bit of your social life, sleep, and general welfare to guarantee that you’d have your choice of job once you came out the other end, and you had. That was at least until three months ago when everything came crashing down. A misunderstanding, a miscalculation, something that felt so far beyond your control and the past fifteen years had been swept out from under your feet. Now you refreshed your email in desperation instead of excitement. You were sitting on a dragon’s hoard of student loans and not a single job offer. The downside of being at one of the top fellowship programs in the country was ironically the same as the upside, they were extremely well-connected. As a result, you were basically blacklisted by every potential employer.

Anyone else would question how you did it, getting out of bed like nothing was wrong and going to your fellowship with a professional smile plastered on your face as if everything was right with the world and you’d be on your way to the first day of your dream job in just two short weeks. It turns out that delusion is highly motivating. You’d refresh your email every morning as if an offer was going to suddenly appear, then go about your day as if maybe this evening something would show. At least that’s how most days went. Today everything that could have gone wrong, had. Your alarm hadn’t gone off because your phone was dead, your charging cord seemingly having given up its last breath sometime over the last twenty-four hours. Then the hot water had been out, for the third time this month, so you were shivering like a drowned sewer rat as you hauled yourself into your car, running too late to make your tea.

Even the Anaheim sun couldn’t seem to warm you as you pulled onto the highway toward Los Angeles. Not even five minutes later a piercing chime sounded through the vehicle and your dismayed gaze fell on your gas light, shining bright since last night, when you had been far too exhausted to brave a seedy gas station in the dark, relegating it as a “tomorrow problem.” Tomorrow was here and you swore defeatedly as you made your way to the next exit, issuing irritated commands at your phone to find the nearest gas station. You swore your whole attention was on the road as you did your best to follow the monotone directions from your speakers as you pulled into the gas station when the motorcycle flashed across your field of vision, fast but not fast enough. You screamed as your brain caught up to the sight in front of you. You don’t remember putting the car into park in the middle of the entry to the gas station and vaulting out of the vehicle, burying your panic as you go into doctor mode, rushing to the aid of the driver sitting up on the asphalt.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, sir are you alright? I’m a doctor.” You sputtered as he turned to look at you, a rueful smile on his face.

“Oh, no worries, Doc, I’m all good.” He scratched the back of his neck as he looked over to his motorcycle which lay abandoned a few feet away. “I need to remember I’m not twenty-five anymore.”

“Sir I’m afraid I’m going to have to insist that I check to see if you have a concussion.” You glanced around, searching for something. “Especially since you weren’t wearing a helmet.” You couldn’t help the annoyed purse of your lips. He chuckled, nodding as you squat down next to him, fiddling with your phone to turn on the flashlight.

“So, you’re a doctor, huh kid? What kind, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Sports medicine, and I mean yes I’m a doctor, I’ve graduated from medical school, but I’m still finishing up my fellowship so I’m not employed as one yet per se.” You sat back on your heels, satisfied that he really was alright. His eyes brightened at your words.

“Sports medicine? What sport are you working with?”

“I’ve worked with a bunch of different ones through my fellowship but my dream job is hockey.” If you ever got a job that was.

His face split into a huge grin. “You don’t say? When do you finish your fellowship?”

“Two weeks… why?” You suddenly remembered that this man was a total stranger as his questions became more specific. It was at that moment that your brain finally exited doctor mode that you realized that he was in fact not a total stranger, not really and you recognized exactly who was sitting on the concrete not even five feet from you. “Oh my fucking god, you’re Pete Mitchell.” The words tumbled out of your mouth in a rush before you could stop them. He barked out a laugh as he extended a dusty hand to you.

“The one and only.” You stared at his hand like you were wondering if it was safe to touch, which is ridiculous. You worked with star athletes for a living and you’ve never gotten star-struck. But that was within the four walls of your job, where you were completely and totally in doctor mode, not squatting in the driveway of a gas station. You shook your head, unsure of how long you’d left him hanging before taking his outstretched hand and shaking it, introducing yourself. “It feels ridiculous to ask, but are you an Anaheim fan?” He asked, flashing his signature grin. You flush, embarrassed.

“They’re my second favorite but my dad’s a ride-or-die.” Pete laughed at your brutal honesty. “But, I mean, everyone who’s everyone knows you.” You sputtered. “You have one of the longest records in the NHL. 26 years is a long time, and with three cups on top of that? You’re practically hockey royalty.” He smiled, seemingly amused with your floundering.

He stood then, helping you up with him. “Could I get your information?”

“Oh yeah, of course. I’m so sorry about your bike, is it good to drive?” You gave the abandoned motorcycle a worried look. “I’m sure my insurance can cover whatever repairs you need.”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that.” He shook his head gently, laying a fatherly hand on your arm. “I actually wanted to offer you a job. Well, an interview, I’m not actually authorized to offer you a job, not my department.”

“I mean I did hit you with my car, WAIT WHAT?” The full effect of his words hit you like a truck. He laughed again.

“Sweetheart, I promise you I can take care of the damages,” giving you his best I’m a multimillionaire retired athlete look. “And as for the job? I’m serious. You’re clearly responsible, professional, good in a crisis, and the team I’m working with is looking for a physician. Unless of course you’re already committed to another job?”

“No! Uh, no, no I’m not.” Shame crept up your neck. “I really appreciate this, Mr. Mitchell.” You stammered as you fumbled for your wallet and produced a business card that you offered to him, doing your best to hold back the tears of gratefulness threatening to fill your eyes.

“It’s not a problem at all, Doc. I’ll be in touch, and please, call me Mav.” He handed you a piece of paper in return and you stared down to see his signature scrawled across it with a brief note Congratulations on such a talented daughter. - Pete “Maverick” Mitchell “Tell your dad I said hi.” He said with a wink before turning away from you to his motorcycle. You stood there, frozen in shock as he got the bike upright and drove away with a wave. The moment he was out of view, the tears escaped your eyes. You’d been desperate for someone to take a chance on you, but never in your wildest dreams would you have expected that person would be Pete fucking Mitchell.

#san diego dogfighters au #San Diego dogfighters #San Diego dogfighters hockey au #snitches get stitches // goldenseresinretriever #sgs // goldenseresinretriever #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin x you #jake hangman seresin x reader #Jake hangman seresin x you #jake seresin #jake hangman seresin #hangman x reader #hangman x you #no use of y/n

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goldenseresinretriever · 5 months ago

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Snitches Get Stitches: Chapter 1

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Part of the San Diego Dogfighters universe

Series CW: 18+ ONLY, swearing, violence, sports violence, medical stuff, blood probably, angst, fluff, (potentially eventual) smut, forbidden romance, sexual harassment, suggestive language, medical inaccuracies, hockey inaccuracies etc. There will be individual chapter warnings. No use of Y/N.

Word Count: 3.4k

A/N: This is a repost of my completed series, Snitches Get Stitches. It was originally posted in October-November 2023, and was lost when my blog was deleted.

Previous Chapter // Series Masterlist // Next Chapter

“And that’s everything,” Pete says with a grin and a shrug of his shoulders as you approach the board room. He’s been giving you a tour of the facilities since it’s your first day as the team physician of the newly formed San Diego Daggers. You were still pinching yourself. Two weeks ago you’d been unemployed and spending every single waking moment stressing about what would happen once you finished your fellowship at the Cedars-Sinai Kerlan-Jobe Institute when you’d quite literally crashed into the opportunity of a lifetime when hockey legend Pete “Maverick” Mitchell had driven his motorcycle in front of your car at a gas station. Turns out he was the newly appointed head coach of the San Diego Daggers hockey team and when you’d let slip that working for a hockey team was your dream he’d offered you an interview on the spot.

Since then, you’d found out that he hadn’t been kidding when he said that wasn’t his department as the general manager, Beau Simpson had exasperatedly informed you during your interview. Thankfully Mr. Simpson had been impressed with your resume and had offered you the most level-headed response to your situation you’d received in the three months since the incident occurred. You’d taken a chance in trusting him with the details of what happened but you knew it was better that he heard it from you before someone else could twist the story with their own opinion and interpretation of the events. The two of you had struck an agreement that stipulated the basic work contract to account for your situation, but the job was yours.

Now here you were, on your first day, being shown around your new place of work. “Now I want to introduce you to the newest member of our team, he’s going to be our team captain, so it’s imperative that you two get acquainted as soon as possible so you can start organizing physicals for the team. The ink’s quite literally still drying on his contract, but I think he’ll be the perfect man for the job.” You nod along, as you’ve been for the better part of the last hour. “By the way, kiddo, I never got the chance to ask. You said the Ducks were your second favorite team, who’s your first?” His eyes twinkle with humor as you chuckle, embarrassed as you remember your first interaction.

“The Dallas Stars,” you answer. “I’ve been a fan of them for as long as I can remember.” Oh but you can remember, you remember the day your loyalties shifted from the childhood love of Anaheim you’d shared with your dad, but you’ve embarrassed yourself enough in front of Pete Mitchell for a lifetime, or so you think.

His grin widens and his eyes light up conspiratorially as he pushes the door to the conference room open. “Well then, kid, I think the two of you are going to get along just fine.” You blink as your eyes adjust to the change from the dimmer ambient hallway lights to the bright LEDs in the conference room, just as the seat closest to the door turns to reveal its occupant. “Jake! I want you to meet our brand new team physician. Kiddo, this is Jake.”

Jake Seresin. Jake motherfucking Seresin, Centre and Captain of the Dallas Stars, and the very reason you became a Stars fan in the first place, stands from the chair and offers you his hand. “Hey there, it’s nice to meet you, ma’am” His grin is wide and just as blinding as it is on TV, but it doesn’t touch the storm in his eyes. The piercing green that’s always warm, inviting, and jovial now looks more like a raging sea. Thankfully your professionalism manages to rush back to your brain in a timely manner and you take his hand, feeling the calluses on his palm scrape the smooth skin of yours.

“H-Hi,” you introduce yourself with the eloquence of a deep sea fish, as he releases your hand before your curiosity gets the better of you. “I thought you played for the Stars.” It’s harmless enough, it’s not like you’ve divulged anything personal but it feels like you’ve revealed yourself as some kind of unprofessional super fan in front of someone who is first and foremost your colleague and your patient for God’s sake.

He shifts uncomfortably, scratching the back of his neck as he deliberates how to answer your question before he settles on, “I did, until,” he breaks eye contact to check the watch on his wrist. “38 hours ago.”

“Oh,” is all you can manage as your brain descends into chaos. “Well, I guess since I signed about a week ago, welcome to the team.” He lets out a laugh at that and you watch some of the weight lift off his shoulders. Your mind is racing but the sensible part of it reminds you that this is your place of work, he’s just a client, regardless of who he is.

“So Mr. Seresin, or do you prefer Captain Seresin? When would be a good time to meet and go over scheduling the team physicals? I know we’re in the off-season right now but I want to get all the routine procedures done as soon as possible and adjust training as needed based on that.” He chuckles and it puts you at ease instantly.

“Just Jake is fine, ma’am. You’re the one in charge here, remember? As for the physicals, I agree that we should get those out of the way first and foremost. Scheduling that is up to our trainers, however, not me.”

“No, right of course, but as Captain would you be willing to go first to kind of show a united front? If I’m going to properly and efficiently take care of your team, trust is key.” You almost miss the bob of his Adam’s apple as he hesitates.

“Sure thing, sign me up.”

“Seresin.” The door opens behind you as Mr. Simpson enters the board room. “And our new physician, good to see you made it.” You nod in acknowledgment. “Seresin we’re glad to have you here, you’re a last-minute catch, but that does mean we need to get you up to speed as soon as possible.”

“Of course, sir.” Jake’s back to his charismatic self for his manager, the troubled man you’d met just minutes ago gone. “It was nice to meet you, ma’am.” He pipes up as you make your way towards the door, your dismissal unspoken.

You turn back to give him a smile, “Nice to meet you too, Jake.” You’ve barely made it halfway down the hallway when the door opens again and Mav is jogging after you, a shit-eating grin creeping across his face.

“So, what do you think?” He’s ecstatic.

“Mav,… I mean this with all the grace of a professional, but how the fuck did you manage to get Jake Seresin?” He laughs, loud and long before leaning in conspiratorially.

“We didn’t. He came to us.” You’re shell-shocked, to say the least.

You open and close your mouth without saying anything for a few seconds before you remember your last conversation. “Mav, about what I said to you earlier,” He grins. “I said that to you as a friend, not a coworker and I’d really appreciate it if you kept that to yourself, for the sake of my professionalism, please. Jake’s my coworker and patient, and anything else would affect his ability to trust me as his physician.” His eyes twinkle as he winks.

“Your secret is safe with me, kiddo. I appreciate your dedication to the job from the get-go. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you asked for his autograph, though.” You can’t fight the flush that creeps across your cheeks. He pats your back gently. “Don’t worry kiddo, any girl in the world would lose their head a bit if they had to work with that boy. I played with plenty of guys just like him in my day.”

“Mav, you were a guy like him in your day.” Mav laughs again as you reach your office.

“Good luck, kid. Break a leg!” He leaves with a wave and you sigh, pushing into the room.

The moment the door swings shut, you turn to press your forehead against the hardwood, letting out a breath you’ve been holding since you entered the board room. You’re fucked, totally completely, royally fucked. You’ve never struggled with professionalism in the workplace. Your entire patient base was made up of multimillion-dollar athletes, any awkwardness due to this had been a hurdle you’d long since crossed. But this? This wasn’t just close to home in the way that you were a fan of the sport your patient played, you were a fan of the player period.

Jake “Hangman” Seresin had had a successful enough career long before he came to play for the Dallas Stars but it was during his first season with them that he first caught your eye. Sure, every girl who knew anything about hockey salivated over the Ken doll on skates but that wasn’t what had drawn you to him. You’d been a hockey fan long enough to know that there were plenty of pretty faces on the ice and sooner or later his dazzling smile would be short a few perfect teeth. Plus, they weren’t there to be pretty, they were there because they could play, and damn if Jake wasn’t the whole package because he was a monster on the ice. He hadn’t earned the nickname “Hangman” for nothing.

It was Dallas vs. Anaheim and Anaheim had the game in the bag, or so you thought. It was the third period, the score was 6-2 in favor of Anaheim. Dallas had managed to take a single point each period, saving themselves from a total wipeout but a four-point difference with nine minutes left in the game had most people switching channels, safe with the knowledge that the match was decided. Then Dallas made a game-changing switch, they switched their centre, just their centre. You’d written it off the same way as everyone else, as a last-ditch effort by Dallas to change the flow of the game in any way they could, but it was anything but.

The moment Jake Seresin hit the ice, the energy in the entire arena shifted, as if they knew what was coming somehow. That was the thing about Jake Seresin you learned that day, he played every second he was on the ice like it was the last second of a tied game. He was a game maker. In the next nine minutes, not only did Dallas tie the score, making up the four points that they trailed, but they sunk a final, victory point with three seconds left on the clock. Of those five points, only two were scored directly by Jake, including the final one, but it was a unanimous opinion that Jake was the reason behind the win. He knew how to move a puck, he knew how to support his teammates while finding shots through a jungle of defense like an octopus in a wall of rock. You weren’t sure if you breathed at all during those nine minutes, and when it was finally over, you’d sat back, too stunned to speak, eyes wide and mouth parted. You’d been brought back to earth by your dad’s laugh from next to you as he gave you a wry smile, “And that’s the moment you’ll fall in love with hockey.” It was something he’d told you once when you asked how he’d come to love the sport as much as he did, a love he’d passed down to you. For him it was an Anaheim game that he was passively watching in a hotel room, half asleep and channel surfing, looking for something to lull him to sleep. For you, you’d always thought you loved hockey, you’d been watching Anaheim games with your dad for as long as you could remember, but it wasn’t until that night that you saw Jake Seresin play for the first time that you realized that while you loved hockey, you couldn’t have been in love with hockey because nothing had ever felt like this.

You’re broken out of your thoughts by a firm rapping on the door you’re still leaning your forehead against. You straighten with a soft groan before opening the door to reveal an unfamiliar woman on the other side. Compared to your forest green scrubs and white coat, she’s a vision in a powder pink suit, her hair pulled into a no-nonsense bun at the base of her neck, and a pair thick of black glasses propped on her head. She extends a perfectly manicured hand to you, her other one occupied with a pink leather folio that matches her suit and nails, introducing herself. “Everyone here calls me Zamboni, though, or just Zam.”

“Can… can I ask why?” You’re a little intimidated by her, the color pink has never made you feel mildly terrified before but there’s a first time for everything.

She laughs at that, a rich, real sound. “I got it at my first unofficial gig, they said it was because I smooth things over, just like a Zamboni smoothes the ice.” She rolls her eyes playfully. “College guys think they are so funny, but the name stuck.” She shrugs. “I like to think it’s because I’m good at my job. I’m the PR rep for the team.”

“It’s nice to meet you Zam.” You weigh your options quickly before deciding to dive right in. “Actually, I have a question I was hoping you could answer.” Zam raises an eyebrow at the way your voice drops but nods to encourage you to continue. “What’s Jake Seresin doing here?” Both eyebrows are raised now. She lets out a defeated huff, crossing her arms over her chest in frustration.

“You know, I pride myself on knowing every aspect of my job inside out, and that includes my players, but that’s one question that even I don’t have the answer to, and not for lack of trying. All I know is that Seresin reached out to Beau two nights ago and showed up here this morning. No private plane, no nothing, the man took a commercial red eye. It does make you wonder,

what exactly had him running like hell to get out of Dallas, but as far as concrete answers go, I’m all out.” She frowns. “Any particular reason why you ask? Do you know something?”

You shake your head, disappointedly. “Nope, but I watch enough hockey on my own time to know he could be anywhere and why he’s here makes little to no sense. I know he and Machado are friends but that doesn’t seem like enough to pass up re-signing to Dallas, and definitely doesn’t explain why he decided to move in less than 48 hours.”

“Just one of life’s mysteries.” An unfamiliar voice interrupts. You both turn to see another woman approach. “I’m Natasha Trace, the head equipment manager.” You shake her outstretched hand as you look over the dark-haired woman. She has a strong grip and you feel the barely there brush of calluses on her hand as if they’ve long faded but stubbornly remained in some places. “If it helps, Javy didn’t know he was coming here either, he’s just as surprised as the rest of us.” Her eyes darken sadly. “Honestly, he’s more pissed than excited right now.”

“Are you two close?” You ask and she’s smiling again.

“Yeah, we went to high school together. He’s actually the reason I have this job, he recommended it to me.”

“And by proxy you know Jake, then?” She shrugs nonchalantly.

“He’s Javy’s best friend, but honestly we don’t see enough of each other to really say I know Jake. Most of what I know about him is what I hear from Javy. I could count on one hand the number of times we’d met before this.” She claps her hands, signaling the end of the conversation. “As much as I enjoy gossiping like old hens with both of you, I did actually come here for a reason. Mav wants to introduce you to the rest of the team so you can start getting into their physicals.” With that, Zam is back in professional mode, straightening from where she’s been leaning on the doorframe to follow the two of you as you do your best to memorize the route Natasha is taking. When you enter the rink, the boys are mid-practice, zipping around on the ice while Maverick watches from the sidelines, taking notes. He turns at the click of Zam’s heels as your group approaches.

“Ladies, welcome! Kiddo, glad to see you’re getting assimilated!” He turns back to the ice, blowing his whistle to signal the guys over to the bench. Your nose is hit with the familiar smell of sweaty athletes as they collect on the ice in front of Mav, removing their helmets and shaking out their name hair. A few swing over the boards to take a seat on the bench, grabbing water bottles as slowly all eyes come to rest on you. You glance over the group, clocking familiar faces. Javy Machado, a right winger, here from the San Jose Sharks and Jake Seresin’s former teammate on the Arizona Coyotes. Left winger, Bradley Bradshaw, the oldest player on the team, from the Philadelphia Flyers. The defensive duo, Reuben Fitch and Mickey Garcia from the New Jersey Devils. Rookie goalie Bob Floyd, whose acquisition has been turning a lot of heads. And of course, Jake Seresin, former captain and centre for the Dallas Stars.

Mav claps a hand on your shoulder. “Gentlemen, this is our new team physician. I’m gonna let her take the floor.” He steps back at that to linger with Natasha and Zam as twenty pairs of eyes focus on you.

You introduce yourself and put on your best smile as the boys chorus back their own greetings. “My first order of business is going to be scheduling your physicals. I want to get as much of the basics out of the way early so we can catch any hidden injuries or undiagnosed conditions as soon as possible so that we can adjust anything we need to have you ready and fighting fit when the season starts in two months.” You almost miss the way Jake shifts uncomfortably at your mention of hidden injuries and undiagnosed conditions and you store away that tidbit for later. “I look forward to working with all of you this season and I want you to know that my priority is your health and safety, and if we want to make the best of our relationship then we need to trust each other so I hope I can earn your trust.” You make eye contact with Jake as you say this. His eyes are back to the stormy seas from this morning and you hope he can trust you enough to tell you what’s really going on so you can help. Just as you’re about to wrap up you remember something. “One last thing! I want to clearly emphasize that this physical will not, and I repeat, will not include any reason for you to be naked. I’m a licensed general physician but this physical doesn’t involve checking your testicles or your prostate unless a specific condition makes it necessary. So please, please keep your underwear on for both our benefit. I don’t want to see any dicks in my exam room, am I clear?” A chorus of laughs and yes ma’am’s bounce off the walls. When you turn to excuse yourself, Mav is grinning too. You decide to get this out ahead of time. “Mav, we need to discuss a good time for me to start the physicals.”

He nods before shrugging. “We’re done here for a bit so If you’re free to start now, you can start taking them one by one.” You nod, turning back to the boys on the ice who are slowly trudging off the ice at his words. “Captain, you’re up.”

Jake stiffens before his mask is back on. “Sure thing, ma’am, I’ll be right there as soon as I hit the showers.” You nod in return and head back to your office to prepare yourself. This is about to be a lesson in professionalism.

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