#SaNa-Sup

[senantiyasa]

aku ingin menjadi rumah

aku ingin menjadi rumah. bagi diriku yang tidak sempurna (sebagaimana manusia lainnya) ini. aku ingin menjadi rumah, bagi baiknya diri yang sedang kuusahakan. aku ingin menjadi rumah, bagi buruknya diri yang sedang kuupayakan untuk tersisihkan. aku ingin menjadi rumah yang aman dan nyaman untuk diriku sendiri.

di rumahku, aku bisa memeluk segala yang ada pada diriku. berhasil-berhasilnya, juga gagal-gagalnya. di rumahku, aku bisa duduk dengan tenang dan tidak terburu-buru ke sana kemari. di rumahku, meskipun aku tahu tidak selalu aku punya waktu, aku bisa berbaring dengan ringan.

rumahku tidak akan besar. ukurannya kecil saja, perabotannya pun belum lengkap. pelan-pelan jumlahnya akan bertambah, tapi kalau hilang suatu saat nanti pun tidak masalah. ada tanaman-tanaman yang tanahnya rajin kusirami dengan air. ada sayur-sayuran yang butuh tenaga untuk merawatnya, tapi menjadi asupan harian yang sehat. tidak harus ada kucing karena aku tidak begitu suka hewan itu.

di rumahku, tenangnya menjelma hangat. di rumahku, riuhnya menjelma gembira. di rumahku, semua perasaan dirayakan. bahagia disambut dengan tangan terbuka, begitu pula sedih yang terkadang datang meminta secangkir teh tanpa gula. kecewa juga sesekali tiba, setelahnya giliran penerimaan yang berkeliling ruang keluarga.

aku ingin menjadi rumah.

suatu saat nanti, mungkin ada rumah lain yang bersedia kudatangi. makin lama, rumah itu mungkin berkenan kutambahi dekorasinya. pemilik rumah lain itu mungkin bersedia juga bila aku sering berkunjung dan memasakkannya sup makaroni jamur. sebaliknya, suatu saat nanti, mungkin rumahku bersedia didatangi pemilik rumah lain. makin lama, rumahku bertambah satu set alat makan dan alat mandinya. aku mungkin berkenan pula pemilik rumah itu sering bermain dan membaca di teras rumahku.

mungkin waktu itu akan tiba. tapi, selagi penghuni rumahku masih satu-satunya adalah aku, aku mau menikmati setiap inci rumahku. mengenali setiap sudutnya. menjaga dan merawat setiap permukaannya dengan hati.

aku ingin menjadi rumah untuk diriku sendiri. yang aman, nyaman, walau harus repot setiap saat kurawat dengan hati.

senantiyasa, 2024.

[knightyoomyoui]

The Tale Of The Bloodline | TWICE MiSaMo (Mina, Sana & Momo) x Male Reader- CHAPTER 9: “The Reason Why”

PREVIOUSLY ON TTOTB: CHAPTER 8 [Authorized For Responsibility]:

They continued arguing with each other until, suddenly, they were cut off by the sound of a ringtone coming from Sana's phone.

She grabbed it and looked at the screen. "Oh, it's from the Empire Chief", YN scoffed.

Sana answered the call, putting the phone near her ear. "Yuta, hey. Yeah, no, actually I was about to go out there and I talked to him about it." She glanced at YN.

She looked away from him and rather at Momo to make him hear less about what she was going to say to Yuta. "Personally, I think he could've done something. I feel like he chose to do nothing. Yeah, no, I'm with him right now. I'm looking right after him." Sana stared at YN, who returned with a higher intensity of gaze at her.

She lowered the phone and handed it to YN. "He wants to talk to you."

Agitated, he snatches the phone from Sana's hand and pressed it on his ear. "Sup, man. Yeah, I know what you told me about Monday. You said I have to make her get the W but this fool said she had it now. Let me just-" YN paused from talking and showed some wincing expressions on his face.

"Y-you're the Empire Chief. I got you."

He aggressively returned the phone back at Sana, bumping her hand before looking away to control his temper.

Sana listened to whatever Yuta is telling her until Momo and YN were taken aback when Sana burst out a laughter.

"W-what he's saying?" YN pokes Sana using the back of his hand.

"It's just an inside joke, don't worry about it."

YN just looked away again, he sulked as he felt offended that Sana didn't bothered not to share it to him and kept it as a secret.

"Wait, Yuta my music is about to hit soon. We'll talk later, okay?"

Right on the spot, the producers played her theme in the arena. They all heard it and probably Yuta behind the call too.

"Gotta go, Empire Chief. Bye bye!"

She dropped her phone to the table and tapped both Momo and YN as she rushes out of the curtain while YN followed the Honorary Muse from behind after high-fiving at Momo and leaving her cousin for a while.

Minatozaki Sana, the Honorary Muse for The Bloodline is currently having a match together with MAMAMOO's Solar for this week's Friday Night Knockdown.

In the ring, Sana lifts up Solar and throws her down with a powerslam. She walks out of the ropes and climbs at the turnbuckle. YN who is on the ringside watching along with Moonbyul, raises his finger to the sky.

Viewing Solar who is slowly rising back from her feet, Sana stood straight and was about to hit a double axe handle but she was caught by a dropkick by Solar, putting both of them down. YN covered his mouth in shock at the impact.

Back again at each other, Solar ran through Sana and dodges her attempted left hook, she went bouncing on those ropes and was about to give Solar a kick but the latter caught her feet in no time, they fell together until Sana decides to roll Solar for a pinfall.

"1...2.."

Solar kicks out. They both stood up again, and this time Solar seeks the momentum when she hit Sana with a leaping knee straight to her forehead. Solar covered Sana for the win.

"1...2..."

Sana kicks out. After some few moments of them exchanging attacks at each other, it led Solar sitting at the turnbuckle. Sana was about to her but the defense was activated to blow some knuckles atop of the Honorary Muse's head and a kick to make her kneel on the ground.

Solar starts to set off both her feet on the top rope but Sana charges again, now she tries to push off Solar but she gets ducked instead. Sana climbs at the corner and hooks Solar's head for a possible superplex but Solar fires hits on her midsection before ending it with a headshot to get rid of her.

Without no more distraction, Solar positioned like a frog at the top turnbuckle and slowly stands to fly away at Sana but instead, the outcome went opposite as Sana quickly backs up and finally pushes off Solar out of the ring. The height of her fall has what made Solar to unable to stand for a while after crashing to the ringside.

Sana grabs Solar and rolls her back in the ring.  Going for another slam, Solar avoided it and chops Sana's chest, then ran through a hopes with a clothesline maneuver. Down on the mat, Solar climbs again on the turnbuckle but Sana rolls off the harm's way.

"And here comes Solar, going off the top rope, taking out Sana!" commentator Knight Yoo said as Solar targets Sana with a cannonball dive to continue the assault on her outside. Moonbyul cheers for Solar while YN is looking agitated at Sana's condition so far.

As the two fighters went back in the ring, Moonbyul and YN got into a confrontation. The referee saw them narrowing their gaps together as they argue and starts to warn them.

That didn't prevent YN to just unleash a thunderous superkick at Moonbyul, releasing his stress at her. Solar saw what happened, she was about to call out YN but Sana pulls her back and performs her Purple Thunderbomb signature move at Solar.

She pins her enemy "1...2..." but Solar kicks out at two. YN starts to encourage Sana to keep fighting and don't let herself get beaten.

With another sequence of attacks from two opposite profiles, Solar finally strikes a double axe handle at Sana to get dizzy. She makes the crowd to join her hype the finisher she's about to execute on Sana to finish the match, clapping her hands altogether with the chant saying "MAMAMOO".

"Solar got Sana where she wants her, but wait a minute; YN Myoui climbs to the ring to draw the ire of Solar!" Knight called on the right hand man's action as YN received a punch instead on Solar for doing that.

The distracted Solar got surprised by a roll up by Sana and the referee began to count.

"1...2.."

Solar kicks out. She tries to hit Sana with her finisher, the Decalcomanie spinning heel kick but Sana dodges. She stood behind, lift her off with her own attempt of the Purple Thunderbomb but Solar ducks under and flips Sana for another cover.

"1...2.."

Unknown to the referee, YN offers a back up as he push back Solar using his feet to her chest, allowing Sana to roll the pin against Solar.

"1...2...3!"

"YN Myoui with the kick, reverses, Sana with the win! YN hands the win for Sana!" Knight exclaims as the referee signalled for the bell to rang.

"Here's your winner, Minatozaki Sana!" the ring announcer Song Jihyo declares as YN slides to the ring and lifts the victorious Sana raising her fists. He patted her in the shoulder and sent her congratulations.

----------------------------

"Tonight. Momo, you get the job done for The Bloodline just like I get the job done for The Bloodline." Sana said as she motivates Momo who is crossing her arm, scheduled also for a match tonight.

"Yeah, you're welcome though. You're welcome, Sana." YN said.

Sana furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "For what?"

"The Empire Chief wants me to give you the W and that's what I did, muse." YN explained.

"How?" Sana blurted. YN's stare began to increase its intensity again, not liking how this is going for him.

"Look, YN I get all of that on my own and for once I would like to appreciate a credit for me." Sana replied, pointing at herself. "Is that too much to ask?"

"Wait, Sana are you kidding me right now?" YN expresses his disbelief. "Yo, Momo! Tell me you saw that. Tell me you saw what happened back there."

"Nope, I didn't." Momo answered. "I missed it. I was watching Sana, and I'm learning a lot from you, muse." she said at Sana.

YN scoffs, turns his body around and seethes in his temper as he covers his face with his hands.

"And you have learned a lot from me, Momoring! Now, you're going to follow my footsteps. The former 3-time Southeast Asia Champion. Tonight, you're gonna be out there on your own and you're gonna ran through all of those fools to become the number one contender for the Southeast Asia Championship. That championship... is yours." Sana pours all of her inspiring message for Momo who is nodding at the words she listens to.

"You know what, after I level up tonight. When I embodied these fools, I'mma have me get a piece of a gold for myself too." Momo sweared.

-------------------

OCTOBER 21, 2023 | 1 WEEK LATER

Hirai Momo is scheduled for a fight against the leader of BLACKPINK stable, Lisa Manoban after their little altercation that happened back in the Fatal 4 Way match for the No. 1 Contender opportunity to face for the Southeast Asia Championship, in which costs both of them to lose.

The Bloodline members, the twins YN and Mina Myoui, the current Japan Combat Federation Tag Team Champions and the "Honorary Muse" Minatozaki Sana watches on the ringside for Momo while Kim Jisoo and Park "Rosé" Chaeyoung is there also to support Lisa.

During the match, Momo chops Lisa on the neck, ran through the ropes and fires a spinning leg bump to her. As she approaches Lisa, she throws her rather out of the ropes and blows a forearm at Momo's spine.

Lisa was about to position Momo for her signature 10 Beats Of Boombayah by hooking her arms each on the ropes but Momo struggles until she gives a hard elbow at the side of Lisa's face.

Lisa holds Momo's hands and tugged her arms down on the ropes to apply pain on her shoulder. Momo tried to reach Lisa but she dragged her out instead to the ringside.

Lisa sat and leaned her back on the steel steps to rest for a little but the adrenaline cursing over Momo won't let her be in peace as she charged at the hurting fighter with a rear bump, driving onto Lisa's weakened shoulder again.

Few minutes later, Lisa regained the advantage. She hooks the exhausted Momo's arms on the ropes and locks it before pounding her arms on her chest for the 10 Beats of Boombayah, with the crowd chanting the counts.

It was supposed to be just ten, but Lisa is too frustrated that she gave an extra five more beating at Momo as she slowly collapses on the apron after the breathtaking pounding that she received.

"Lisa and the BLACKPINK are all fired up here tonight guys." Knight said as Lisa stood in the corner and points at the crowd chanting along with the members for her. She starts to taunt her finishing move, the Shut Down kick.

She marches at Momo but avoids and rather unleashed a superkick on her face, it stumbled Lisa and bounced on the ropes only to elicit a high knee in return to Momo's face.

Lisa covers Momo "1...2..." but Momo kick out just before the referee shouts three.

That brought the Bloodline in shivers as they got nervous thinking Momo would almost lose there. Sana climbs on the apron and complains on the referee but Jisoo pulls her leg down, making her head bump on the ring. Mina to the rescue, gave Jisoo a superkick that sends her atop of the announce table.

Rosé came to avenge her partner as she charges at Mina and aggressively punches her but YN superkicks Rosé, joining her partner beyond the announce table.

"And now, the announce table gets put on the top of BLACKPINK! Rosé and Jisoo are trapped by The Myouis!" Knight exclaimed as he and his commentary partner Lee Kwangsoo watched their area get destroyed in order to use as a way to eliminate the fighters.

Lisa saw what happened, she climbs on the top turnbuckle and jumps at The Myouis witj a double clothesline.

She returns to the ring, Momo approached her and she gave her a weak albow due to how tired she already is.

As she was about to enter, Sana grabs Lisa's leg but ended up getting kicked only to allow Momo to kick the arm where Lisa's damaged shoulder is located.

Momo shouts her battlecry, she clutches on Lisa and slams her down with her finisher, the Ultra Urinagi before going for the cover.

"1...2...3"

Sana raised her fists up in joy as she witnessed her co-member and friend take the victory for The Bloodline, thanks to her help.

"Here is your winner, Hirai Momo!!!"

After the match, Sana enters and congratulates Momo while YN grabbed Lisa and threw her outside the ring.

Lisa still tried to fight back but she got cornered by all the four members of The Bloodline, assaulting her all at once.

YN commands Sana and Mina to grab some steel chairs on the timekeepers area and they did.

Momo sets up the weakened Lisa on the steel steps, YN steals the chair out of Sana's hand who got startled, Mina locked Lisa's bad arm on the chair while Momo continues to punch Lisa.

"Lisa Manoban is helpless, Rosé and Jisoo are still here buried under the announce table." Knight said.

"THIS IS FOR DISRESPECTING MY FAMILY!!!" YN yelled at Lisa, he hits the chair twice on the floor before proceeding to smash it on the chair where Lisa's bad arm is locked in.

"OH NO!!! HE'S TRYING TO BREAK LISA'S ARM! SOMEBODY STOP THEM!!!" Knight reacted pitifully as Lisa shouts in torment while YN repeatedly smashes the chair on her arm for 7 times.

"JUST GET THE DAMN SECURITY OUT HERE" Kwangsoo agreed on Knight.

Sana interrupts YN and asks him to stop before Momo and Mina lets go of Lisa, letting her clutch her damaged arm and grit in pain.

"You don't bad mouth, you don't cross the family, you don't cross the Bloodline. This is their primal domination." Knight said on the final shot of Momo, Mina, Sana and YN surrounding the viciously assaulted Lisa being checked upon by the medical team before the show ends.

--------------------------

OCTOBER 28, 2023 | 1 WEEK LATER

After what happened to their leader Lisa Manoban in the merciless hands of The Bloodline, Rosè and Jisoo are out for payback against them.

They requested a match on General Manager Bang Sihyuk and he agreed, which he decided to make them face off against Minatozaki Sana and Hirai Momo.

As they made their entrance and wait in the ring, the camera shifts on The Bloodline behind the curtain, with Mina and YN cheering both Sana and Momo for their match tonight.

"YN, can I have a word with you for a sec?" Sana excused YN who looked at her seriously.

"Listen, tonight is a big night for us, okay?" Sana said as YN listened. "You understand what I'm saying here?"

"Let me guess, you don't want me to get involve tonight, don't you?"

"No, no. The exact opposite of that. Tonight is all hands on deck. Okay, last night was a bit of a black heart for The Bloodline. Yuta Nakamoto is not here yet, The Empire Chief is not here yet. When he gets here, the first thing he needs to see is all of our arms raised in victory, okay?" Sana continued.

"Look, a couple of weeks ago, you helped me against Solar. I saw it, so I need that tonight.  Can you do that for me? Can you bring that energy tonight?"

YN nodded and slapped his title belt. "Yeah."

"There we go. Alright, lets go!" Sana clapped as all of them make their way out of the curtain while Momo's theme began playing in the arena.

------------------------------

"Tag!"

After Jisoo successfully escaped Sana's control by giving her a dropkick to reverse the advantage, she made a tag to Rosé to prevent Sana from reaching Momo.

Sana tried to attack Rosé but she was greeted by a clothesline, then a shoulder tackle and a flying one as she increased the speed of her sprint through the ropes.

As Sana went to the corner, Rosé didn't stop her barrage of attacks as she fired a couple of splashes on the Honorary Uce before she got stopped with a boot to the face.

Sana ran through the hopes and attempts to hit Rosé with a crossbody but Rosé's strength enabled her to catch the enemy with a smile on her lips. Twisting the body, she planted Sana down in the mat before the referee counts the pin.

"1...2..."

Sana kicks out at two. "Panic in the eyes of The Bloodline, this is slipping away in the worst possible time." Kwangsoo commented as he viewed YN and Mina's nervous demeanor after Sana barely made it alive.

Rosé placed Sana bending under her, grabs her underneath to perform a powerbomb but as she had her in the air, Sana hammered her head to let go.

She stayed on the ropes, Rosé went closer but Sana shooed her away with an albow. Momo returned to the ring and tagged Sana who proceeded to went back at Rosé who lifted her up but Momo saved her with a superkick.

The stunned Rosé was pushed from behind by Sana for Momo to recieve and carry her instead for a Samoan Drop before doing another cover.

"1...2..."

All of The Bloodline's fingers raised was brought down again after they thought Momo almost had it but the BLACKPINK member fights back at two and a half count.

Momo watched Rosé stumbling on her knees and feets as she tries to stand back up. She clawed her head and slowly tugged it upward, leading it near to her face as she mocks.

"Who the hell do you think you are, huh?" Momo slapped Rosés head. "Do you know who we are?"

Momo attempted some blows on the sides of Rosés abdomen but she got it both locked within her own grasp. The two stared very between each other, their face and bodies closer, realizing that none of them could get released unless one of them should provide hurt as a key.

Rosé headbutts Momo who instantly felt that stinging pain in her forehead. She returned the same until both of them were now exchanging shots of headbutts, creating red spots and a slight cut of wound from Momo's head that caused her to bleed a little.

They ran from the ropes, until Momo launches a clothesline over Rosé, both fighters down in the ring.

Sana opens her hand, free for Momo to reinsert her into the match, so as Jisoo who is doing the same for Rosé.

Rose was the first to crawl faster and reach Jisoo but was followed afterwards by Momo who hurried at Sana. The two are now legal competitors to fight. Sana slapped Jisoo and strikes back with a slap of her own too.

They touched their aching cheeks and lip at the impact until Sana initiates a high boot at Jisoo before rotating her around and position her for the Purple Thunderbomb but Jisoo added pressure to her weight and wrapped Sana's head to a side headlock as she drilled repeated elbows on her skull.

She tried to run ahead but Sana grabs her outfit and pulled her back for another attempt of the Purple Thunderbomb but Jisoo's quick instincts helped her reverse the move, dragging Sana down and sets her up to a surfboard submission move. Mina went to the apron to cause a distraction but she ate a kick from Jisoo rather.

Sana rolls up Jisoo by hooking her leg from behind, looking to steal a victory. "1...2..." Jisoo kicks out, and dashes at Sana who countered her instead for an explorer suplex to the corner.

"Sana has now put Jisoo where she wants her, aiming for her Helluva Kick finishing manouver." Knight said as he watched Sana taunts Jisoo from the distance to show her face.

Sana runs but Jisoo dodges and kicks her to the back of her neck. The collapsed Sana is now available for Jisoo to climb on the turnbuckles and go crashing against her but Momo hangs on to her feet, not too long though as Jisoo pushes off her head.

That wasn't a bother to Sana as she mocks the preparing Jisoo to perform a moonsault but her intentions to trick the opponent was interrupted by YN who grabbed her feet and pulled her out of the ring.

"What are you doing?!" Sana looked at YN puzzledly.

"It's cool, she was about to jump on you!" YN reasoned.

"I had her, YN!" Sana said as she caressed her face irritatingly.

"Yeah, it ain't like it?!"

"I got a strategy, okay?"

"I was protecting you, Sana!"

Meanwhile, Momo sweeps off Jisoo's feet who is watching the two members of The Bloodline argue at each other. She walks over to the quarreling section where the two obvious and predictable people with beef at one another going out at it again.

"See! That's how you help, that's how you help, YN!" Sana compared Momo's action to YN's

"Oh really? I'm trying to help you out, Sana... but if you don't get out of my face right now, I'm about to get you!" YN warns Sana's unappreciative manner.

"Wait, calm down..."

"Hey, relax YN! Break it up, now!" Momo joins Sana on cooling off the pent-up boiling anger of YN, spreading her arms between the two but YN just keeps brushing off her hand.

Too busy with their argument, they weren't aware that Rosè just surprised every one of them by charging on their huddle, plowing both YN and Momo with a shoulder bump.

Sana re enters the ring to get out of the harms way, she called out Rosé for what she did before focusing her attention on the immovable Jisoo laying down on the ring. She grabbed her but in her shock, Jisoo rolled her up, hooking her leg while the other was tangled around on Jisoo's leg to make the cover unescapable.

"1...2...3!"

The bell rang. Knight and Kwangsoo reacted in astonishment as they saw Sana and Momo of The Bloodline lose over Jisoo and Rosé of BLACKPINK despite how that wasn't even suppose to end that way as from what they knew.

"Here are your winners, the team of Kim Jisoo and Rosé!!!"

"Again, the issues of Minatozaki Sana, YN Myoui and the rest of The Bloodline blew up in their faces here tonight. BLACKPINK with a huge win here on Knockdown." Knight stated as the crowd cheered for Rosé and Jisoo who successfully get their redemption and revenge for their leader, Lisa Manoban who is watching proudly on her home while resting.

"Minatozaki Sana and YN Myoui's tenious relationship here in Kyoto. They might be about to explode." Kwangsoo shares his thoughts as everybody is just watching Sana and YN continue to argue inside the ring while Momo and Mina just problematically witnessing their childish behavior.

Momo tries to calm down YN again but like earlier, he is swiping off her hand. Momo stares sharply at YN before his attention was stole by Mina who rotated him around to connect his deadly stare rather at her twin brother.

YN went silent for a second as she looked around again to see Sana and Momo's stressed faces before all them felt tense in their veins as they heard the familiar theme echoed inside the arena.

The Empire Chief has arrived in Kyoto.

"I believe there's gonna be a hell to pay." Knight said.

"The kids are in trouble." Kwangsoo replied.

As the beat drops from Yuta's theme, Knight followed his statement. "Daddy's home. The Highness Of The Land, The Leader Of The Bloodline, the current Japan Combat Federation World Champion Yuta Nakamoto with his Special Adviser Park Jinyoung, and the look on YN Myoui's face tells the story. This is gonna be a very uncomfortable conversation for the family."

YN has a troubled expression as they viewed his cousin make his entrance by raising his belt with the pyro popping off in the background before walking down in the ramp.

"You're done messed up, now you gotta face the consequences." Kwangsoo said as Yuta stops in his tracks and glanced at the four guilty members of his empire waiting for him to settle their issue altogether.

As Yuta enters the ring with Jinyoung, he showcased again his golden title belt to the crowd before Jinyoung requested a microphone for him.

He gave it to Yuta who cleared his throat before starting his speech off with his famous catchphrase. "Kyoto... RECOGNIZE ME!!!"

Most of the crowd puts up their ones to the sky to acknowledge the Empire Chief. Yuta was satisfied enough at the reception he got, nodding his head. "Alright, now it's time for me to recognize this elephant in the room."

"You two..." he said, referring to YN and Sana who looked at his back. "You wanna act like kids? Then we're going to treat you like kids."

"I don't believe that the air in the backstage is the same in the ring. I believe that the fighting and handling your business goes in the ring but you two just couldn't do that." Yuta said, with some hand gestures here and there.

"So this is what I want you to do. I want you two to put it all on the table." Yuta instructs both of them. "I want you two to let it all out because I want this problem fixed, RIGHT NOW."

Sana raised her mic to her mouth, taking the first move to speak." Well, uh...I'll be the first to admit that there's been a communication breakdown as of late, and I feel like it's pretty specifically with YN, right?" Sana said as she points her hand at YN who is glaring at her.

"So I'm going to be honest, I really don't understand what's been going on around here. I like you, YN. I've always like you." Sana said, making YN taken aback at her words as she tried not to make it obvious so he looked around by wearing a grumpy face.

"And we've always gather along but when I started to hang out with The Bloodline, I don't know what it is but you just can seem to stand me. I don't understand, Mina seems fine, Momo seems fine, everybody seems fine, except you and I just don't know what I did to offend you. I really don't but whatever it is, I'm sorry okay?"

"I just don't want this to keep going anymore, okay?" Sana said to YN who keeps on listening at her. The crowd started to applaud and cheer for Sana while Jinyoung patted her back. "T-thank you. Seriously, YN whatever I did... I'm sorry. Can we just be fine? Can we just bury the hatchet once and for all?"

Sana offers her hand for a peaceful handshake to YN who looked down at it seriously before inspecting her eyes again. Yuta, Mina, Jinyoung, Momo, and the rest of the crowd are eagerly waiting for whatever YN is going to respond according to Sana's apology.

"Sana, you only got two seconds to get that out of my face." YN said as he looked at Sana with fierce. Yuta clenched his lips, Momo and Mina shook their head disapprovingly, Jinyoung sighed and the crowd booed at YN.

Sana's mouth left agaped, in disbelief that YN still doesn't want to keep things pleasant. "I don't like you. I don't like your hair. I don't like your face. I don't like that scarf you wear. Hey! I don't even like her being around my family every single week. Hey sis this, let's go that, HEY! How do you think you're part of The Bloodline if you're not even blood! I didn't even know we're accepting butlers here from now on!" YN said as he criticized Sana.

"News flash for you, you will never be valued  and worthy of serving our family because you don't belong with us and we don't need you!" YN harshly told Sana who frowned. "Nobody in this group likes you, I'm the realest out here who's gonna say this to your face that you're just a fake muse!"

"You know what's the difference between you and me is? I share blood for every single members out here because it's my family! Don't make them look like yours!" YN exclaimed with rage. "Are you gonna do it?! Will you?! I'm asking you a question-"

"Why are you yelling at me?! I'm trying to make peace, The Empire Chief says he wants peace!"

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT THE EMPIRE CHIEF SAYS!"

The crowd elicited a loud shocked "ooohhhhh!" reaction at YN's outburst that ultimately crossed the line, especially looking at Yuta's enlarged eyes and dead expression after hearing what YN said to him.

The crowd's noise becomes louder and louder the more Yuta turns his head slowly at YN who is looking at him with seriousness. Jinyoung is covering his mouth, Mina buried her head on her arms at the corner, Momo just looked away at the scene, Sana is just stunned at what she's witnessing.

Yuta stood closer at YN and eyed him intimidatingly as the crowd chants "YOU FUCKED UP!" at YN.

"Yuta, hey look. What YB said was very messed up but... he didn't mean that. Right, YN? You didn't mean that." Sana said in defense for YN, barricading Yuta from him with her arm.

YN whispered, agreeing on Sana. "Seriously, Yuta he didn't mean that, okay? YN has gone through a lot, he's been through a lot, he's just not himself right now, okay?"

Sana continues to plead for Yuta to spare YN from his rude behavior. "He might be a hothead but I believe he doesn't want to get close with me is because he's uhm.... shy shy shy?~" she said as she did a little dance to imitate her sing song tone to tease YN, wiggling her shoulders and knocking her fists adorably along with her small voice.

Both Yuta and YN looked weirdly at her before Yuta lured his gaze away to smirk and oppress his chuckle while YN whispered "Really, Sana?" unbelievably at the unserious and bubbly muse.

The crowd began chanting SHY SHY SHY and that effectively infected Mina and Momo to slowly laugh silently at the expanded humor. Yuta couldn't help but to grin widely too at what Sana just did including Jinyoung.

As Yuta continues to stay speechless, the crowd erupted with cheers and applaud for the cute act of Sana before he switches glances at the Honorary Muse who is amused at what she has done.

"Is that what's been going on around here?" Yuta confusedly asked at YN. "I-is that because you're acting... SHY SHY SHY at Sana?!"

Yuta looked strangely at YN who is covering his face with his hands so that he could hide the uncontrollable laughter he's trying to contain and make himself not vulnerable from Sana's contagious charm.

Yuta was about to place his arm wrapped around YN's neck, the latter saw his grinning face causing him to finally broke out at how difficult it is, suppressing his laughter as he squeezed his clenched fists on his mouth.

"Stay here, stay right here would you?" Yuta said as YN wanted to distance himself a bit to avoid himself laughing out loud at Yuta's hilarious look.

"Here's what we gonna do. If you still don't work yourself being SHY SHY SHY around Sana again, I'm gonna do something you ain't gonna like." Yuta warned YN who is still couldn't calm himself down from his cackles because of Sana's newly made catchphrase.

"Here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna take that "Honorary"away, and I'm gonna make her our official Bloodline's muse." Yuta said as he points out at Sana's scarf around her neck, with YN now back at being seriousness even though the glimpse of how he surrendered herself from Sana's irresistable effect is still visible.

YN gave Yuta an incomprehensible look, muttering "You can't be serious, cous?!" but Yuta just nodded back at him and points his head. "Use the time well, think wisely."

"Well ladies and gentlemen, I think The Empire Chief has called an end to this segment. Please catch your Empire Chief LIVE and in person from all around the world next time on Friday Night Knockdown." Jinyoung said as he gave his closing remark in regards to The Bloodline, doing a mic drop before the arena played Yuta's theme again.

The show ended with The Bloodline as Yuta walked out on the ring first followed by Jinyoung, Mina, and Momo until YN and Sana were the last ones. Sana gave a cheeky smile on him in which he blushed before quickly rolling his eyes back and ignoring her to hid it away.

[pangpingpong]

Revisi

Nekad ke Seraung buat begadang ngerjain sampai larut malam. Kemudian memaksa diri pulang karena situasi dan kondisinya eh kenapa makin malam makin ramai ini. Bukan makin sepi. Iya tau sih ini coworking space. Ya bagus sih buat nambah rezeki ownernya (aku ga sewot kok ga wkwk). Cuma, sepertinya karena alone jadi feels like ga nyaman

Kalau udah dapat temponya dikerjain sebentar juga bisa kelar. Cuma kalau ga mood ya apa daya. Entah gue ini manusia atau apa. Kenapa kerja tuh kudu mood dulu sih? Dasar tidak profesional!

Di Seraung ketemu mahasiswa (padahal selama ini aman - aman bae ga ketemu siapa - siapa wkwk. Dasar gue emang si aneh. Alhamdulilahnya mahasiswa yang gue temuin adalah anak rajin yang ngumpul di kafe itu buat ngerjain deadline tugas dan rapat organisasi. Uwow aku salut). Keknya bagusan ke sana tuh weekdays sih yaaa. Terus bawa temen, jangan soksokan sendirian (lah emang gue biasanya sendirian sih ya). Tapi ga papa sih ya emang niatnya mau kerja kok, bukan gosip (naon).

Terus lanjut nonton Love Next Door. Kenapa episode hari ini menyayat hati sekali? Aku kalo jadi Choisseung mau protes sih sama writer-nimnya. Tega kali 1 episode isinya diremukin mulu hatinya. Kebayang pas lagi makan terus makdeg nyesek banget. Makan nasi berasa makan pasir sih yakin. Makan sup berasa nelen oli.

Dan sekarang gue bukannya bobok malah lanjut kerja. Wahai anak muda sayangi badanmu~~

Kelamaan pakai earphone wired 3,5mm jack ini bikin telinga kiri ku sakit (Sebenarnya ini cuma menambah excuse aja sih biar bisa beli wireless headphone). Tolong kalau ada reader yang pernah nyobain wireless headphone midrange minta rekomen dongs. Mau beli sony tapi aku naksirnya yang harga 5 jutaan (agak sableng emang). Ga maksa beli yg harga segitu karena ngerasa bukan priority banget punya headphone se-wow itu. Cuma butuh yang nyaman buat disambi kerja dalam durasi lama. Selain itu, eike bukan youtuber atau content creator dimana kualitas audio itu ngaruh sama performa pekerjaan dan berpengaruh sama cuan.

[i-dont-muggle]

Sup, it’s Sana tbh my tumblr is cringier than yours <3

.

[hahaha-darn-it]

sup sana :) how is your day?

(after the trip to the infinite existence itself)

HEY HELLO IT IS PRETTY GOOD!

(yes i am god hence i exist in such dimensions and states of being)

[spiffyhearts]

Dahyun: Sup Baby, wanna Kiss?

Sana: You know I do. but first let me slide my hand under your shirt and poke your armpit

Saida: 😂Okay Huggles

[myliberation-notes]

Menuliskan,

Yang Kusayang.

Sejak dulu sekali, sejak ratusan ribu hari lalu, sebelum aku pergi; aku ingin sekali menuliskan mereka yang kusayang; satu, persatu. Tentang mereka yang mengisi daftar usiaku dan daftar doaku. Tentang; mereka yang senantiasa ada, mereka yang seringkali ada, mereka yang sesekali ada, dan juga mereka yang ada meski hanya sekali saja.

Sebelum waktu atau kematian pergi membawaku, aku ingin menuliskan mereka yang kusayang. Biar tidak hanya aku yang tahu, betapa layaknya mereka untuk hidup dengan penuh perayaan. Biar tak aku saja yang bisa merasakan, betapa baiknya mereka dalam menjalani peran. Biar duniaku tahu, mereka hidup dalam perjalananku. Mereka tersenyum, hidup, dan selalu layak disayangi; sepenuh-setulus hati.

Menuliskan,

yang kusayang:

Yang tidak melulu membawa sepiring suka cita sahaja. Tetapi kerap kali, membawa serta semangkuk sup derai tawa. Bersamanya, dilengkapi pula segelas hangat air mata; tak selalu bahagia, namun hangatnya sampai relung dada.

Menuliskan,

yang kusayang:

Mengingatkan bahwa hidupku; tak akan semeriah ini, jika tanpa mereka di dalamnya. Meski mungkin sesekali, beberapa dari mereka; ingin sekali rasanya aku membenci. Namun nyatanya, keinginan itu hanya sebatas ingin saja. Sialnya, mereka terlanjur tercatat sebagai, "yang kusayangi".

Meski;

dikatakan atau tidak; perasaan tetaplah perasaan.

Namun untuk beberapa cerita yang tidak sempat tercatat dunia; biarlah, aku turut mencatatnya. Tentang apa-apa yang tak akan cukup kupeluk; bersama kata, akan senantiasa aku simpan detaknya. Mungkin tak seluruhnya penuh cerah, namun selalu "sayang" sebagai muaranya.

Ditulis pada pukul tiga dini hari, oleh;

seorang perempuan yang banyak sekali kurangnya. Tetapi, seperti penggalan lirik lagu yang sedang diputar beratus ribu juta kali, dibanyak tempat yang tak semua bisa tersebutkan; ~Rayuan Perempuan Gila~ milik Nadin Amizah;

sambil penuh cinta, diam-diam; berusaha.

Menulisnya.

Pada setiap yang kutulis, ada bagian hidupku di sana. Lalu aku menuliskan ini; menuliskanmu, dari sudut pandangku.

N.A. | August 05, 23 - 03.05 | Penuh Cinta.

[daydreamermike]

Life update 5/25/23

Last night nag take in calls ako at work. That was the first time in almost 6 years of being a QA. It lasted for about 20 minutes and I guess I pull it off naman. Next to that, I presented my project proposal to my sup kahit medyo rush nagustuhan nya and im happy with his feedback. Tonight's shift ippresent naman sya sa OM. Next week would be the implementation.

Also, out of nowhere nagchat yung last ex ko. He's selling his PC set which is very important for him. Me as hindi naman computer addict and i dont see the need of having one, syempre I declined. Mukhang sunod-sunod karma nya. Oh yeahhh!

Last shift na din pala tonight kasi naka PTO ako ng Friday shift kasi may beachneering kami, byahe ng madaling araw ng Saturday. Sana maganda ang weather this coming weekends.

[whenicarusfall]

I posted 207 times in 2022

That's 78 more posts than 2021!

113 posts created (55%)

94 posts reblogged (45%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@3am-incognito-tab

@irritatinglytidsoptimist

@rig0

@stuckinapril

@idleminds

I tagged 55 of my posts in 2022

#life in a nutshell - 13 posts

#spotify - 10 posts

#personal - 8 posts

#tnr writes - 7 posts

#tnr rants - 6 posts

#prose - 4 posts

#words words words - 4 posts

#tnr horney moment - 3 posts

#poetry - 3 posts

#poetry on tumblr - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 51 characters

#tangina pa try naman magstory ng random ppl oh haha

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

November 17, 2022 | Seminar

after the seminar, went to a neighborhood resto that cooks for a long period, ambiance >> food quality. Nevertheless, it was a fun experience as we started to share our plans for our upcoming outing! Before heading home, I also went to a cafeteria (coffee first) I swear, their butterscotch drink is top-tier! Not too sweet nor creamy! Worth the price, and lastly, sis bought us dinner from S&R!

📍 Cavite State University

See the full post

12 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

#4

May has been a good month. Even though hope has not shone so bright, there is always a light to lit up our sorrow. We are all this together. Fighting.

Random photo dump with my palette.

📍 Calamba, Laguna | Naic, Cavite | PH

See the full post

13 notes - Posted June 4, 2022

#3

catfishing moment

last night, went to manila to release all of my stress and went to a museum to restart my life, art has always been my go-to escape when I felt so suffocated and fucked up. Ask someone to take a picture of me (tangina) I think I am living my best life ano? Ang saya lang! Back to acads na today! Papaalam pa ako kay Nanay para sa clothing. Hahaha.

Nakakainis, sabi ko nung grade 12, sana kasama ko man lang best friend ko hahaha, I cannot picture out na ako lang mag-isa rito. Hahahaha siguro soon kasama future boyfriend ko (sana yung redflag ko nang kaklase) hahaha.

Babalik pa kami ni May Anne for year end MNL Trip namin ✨😎

📍 Manila, Philippines

See the full post

13 notes - Posted December 10, 2022

#2

sup

no one meets me in the pouring rain

cvsu christmas lighting 2022, 12/17/22

16 notes - Posted November 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

the only thing we have in common is the flickering hope glowing in our eyes, for our country. 🇵🇭

17 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[splettering]

gondry ― berumah

aeri hamil. anak donghyeok.

awalnya donghyeok seperti ditubruk air bah; terapung-apung, terasa penuh tapi tidak tenggelam mengetahui kabar itu. konteksnya tidak negatif sebab ia tidak merasa keberatan atau mengganjal sedikitpun. alih-alih ia panik sebab lakon baru tersemat sekonyong-konyong padanya. father-soon-to-be dan husband-soon-to-be. tentu saja donghyeok akan menikahi aeri―bahkan tanpa kejadian hamil inipun donghyeok selalu punyak bayangan itu. menikah.

ibu aeri memijat kening saat donghyeok dan aeri duduk bersimpuh di hadapan beliau beserta ayah aeri seminggu lalu. ibu aeri tidak galak, hanya kadang tatapannya nyalang. percis aeri. "aku tau kalian dimabuk cinta, tapi apa tidak bisa kalian bermain aman?"

donghyeok akan menjawab sebelum aeri memotong. "raw is its bestest, ibu juga suka kalau ayah polos kan?"

ibu aeri melotot, ayah aeri salah tingkah nyaris terkikik sementara donghyeok, lelaki itu tidak hanya melotot tapi mencubit paha aeri. "aw! apa sih kamu? ibuku memang―"

"sss-ayanggg...." donghyeok buru-buru membekap mulut aeri sambil tersenyum kikuk.

itu bukan hormon hamil. aeri memang selalu eksplisit maka selalu ada hal yang membuat donghyeok geleng-geleng. contoh lain, tiga hari lalu aeri pergi ke kantor dengan tee yang membuat baby bump-nya tampak. donghyeok sih tidak masalah dengan bagaimana aeri berpakaian tapi donghyeok kira aeri mau menyembunyikan kehamilannya. sebenarnya, di mata donghyeok, aeri tidak seperti perempuan yang mau menikah―apalagi hamil. maka donghyeok tidak pernah terpikir dampak aeri akan hamil. ia berprasangka kalau perempuan itu sudah pasti akan mencegah dengan caranya sendiri.

aeri itu perempuan solid yang cerdas, pandangan itu yang sebenarnya membuat donghyeok panik akan kehamilan aeri. sebenarnya donghyeok tidak benar-benar mengenal calon ibu dari anaknya itu dan donghyeok menyesal. kenapa ia tidak pernah bicara sungguh-sungguh dengan aeri. kalau orangnya hilang begini kan, donghyeok yang repot.

"kamu dimana, aeri... kamu bawa anak kita" gumam donghyeok menenggelamkan kepala dikemudi mobil.

kembali ke aeri yang tidak terprediksi, iya, perempuan itu hilang―baca: tidak ada kabar―sejak jumat malam kemarin. malam itu mereka dari rumah donghyeok. keluarga donghyeok tahu aeri hamil dan alih-alih judgmental, mereka menyambut itu. aeri kesenangan sampai hampir menghabiskan sepanci sup abalon buatan mama lee kalau saja donghyeok tidak menahannya. "nanti muntah, aeri"

"apa karena ku larang makan abalon itu ya?" monolog donghyeok nelangsa. ia masih meringkuk dan bertumpu pada kemudi. waktu itu sih aeri tidak terlihat bete dilarang donghyeok begitu, tapi saat pulang aeri minta diturunkan di stasiun alih-alih rumah.

"aku mau naik kereta"

"terus mobilnya gimana?"

"kamu naik mobil, aku pulang naik kereta"

"mana bisa gitu?"

"bisa. udah sana"

dan begitu saja. donghyeok melepas aeri tanpa menyangka kalau hingga hari minggu, perempuan itu tidak ada kabar. ponselnya tidak mati tapi menolak dihubungi. aeri seakan menghindari donghyeok dan itu membuat donghyeok ingin menangis. sekesal-kesalnya aeri padanya, aeri tidak pernah membuatnya clueless.

donghyeok jadi menerka, jangan-jangan perkara menghindarnya aeri lebih serius dari sekedar dilarang makan abalon. jangan-jangan, sebenarnya aeri tidak suka ide mereka menikah. ia setuju karena kepalang tanggung kemudian sadar kalau pernikahan bukan akhirnya. atau jangan-jangan aeri tidak suka hamil. aeri berencana mengambil master dan hamil tentu menjadi big x. maka, bisa jadi aeri membenci donghyeok yang tidak berhati-hati.

"aeri... pulanglah, maafkan aku..." rintih donghyeok. ia nelangsa, tapi juga kesal menganggap hubungannya dengan aeri mudah padahal, di waktu-waktu sekarang, ia harusnya banyak mengajak bicara aeri. perempuan itu hamil dan sangat perlu didengar objektivitasnya sebab dunianya tiba-tiba jungkir balik. bukan malah donghyeok fokus pada emosi dan pikirannya sendiri.

donghyeok masih telungkup ketika ponselnya bergetar dan menampakkan nama aeri di sana tapi, ketika donghyeok dengan tidak sabar akan menggeser ikon hijau, getaran itu senyap. aeri seakan menggoda donghyeok namun untung aeri bukan perempuan jahat sebab, selang dua detik, perempuan itu mengirimi donghyeok pesan.

|dong aku di lapangan bulutangkis dekat share house

|ayo main

----------------

donghyeok dilarang bertanya atau bicara apapun sejak menjumpai aeri di lapangan bulutangkis yang lengang. perempuan itu langsung mengangsurkan raket dan begitu saja, mereka sparing. donghyeok melewatkan pukulan berkali-kali membuat aeri mendecak.

"ck, aku servis sekali lagi. bersiaplah!" kata aeri dan kock memantul kesana kemari. sumpah donghyeok juga enggan bicara pada aeri, ia hanya mau memeluk perempuan itu.

"aku ke rumah nenek kemarin, di cheongju"

"apa?!" donghyeok setengah memekik bersamaan kock jatuh melayang ke arahnya. aeri lagi-lagi mendecak dan donghyeok buru-buru memantulkan kock itu lagi. "kenapa ke cheongju, naik apa aeri??"

"naik bus"

"gimana?!"

"dong, fokus!"

"ck," kali ini donghyeok yang mendecak keras. ia melempar raket ke lantai lantas menggesturkan tangan meminta aeri mengikutinya. "kemari," katanya seraya berjalan ke sisi lapangan. ia duduk di dudukan semen di bawah pohon dedalu.

"apa?" aeri bertanya malas tapi mendudukkan diri di sebelah donghyeok. donghyeok menghela napas seraya melihat aeri lekat. alih-alih jengkel, tatapan donghyeok lunak.

"sudah makan?"

"hm?" aeri menelengkan kepala bingung.

"kamu. sudah makan?"

"u-udah"

"kalo kemarin?"

"ya makan juga"

"tiga kali?"

"ck, 2x makan nasi. malamnya aku makan bubur soalnya lagi mau bubur"

donghyeok tersenyum simpul. "good," katanya sambil mengusak kepala aeri. "aku nggak larang kamu pergi-pergi. boleh pergi kemana aja tapi bilang-bilang. kalo nggak sama aku, boleh sama jimin atau hyeji. perjalanan ke cheongju kan lumayan jauh, kamunya juga lagi gini," donghyeok mengelus perut menyembul aeri. "emangnya lagi marah ya sama aku?"

aeri menundukkan kepala dan menggeleng lambat. ia menangkup tangan donghyeok yang bertengger di perutnya.

"terus kenapa tiba-tiba pergi nggak bisa dihubungi?"

"aku lagi nyari jati diri"

kan. jawaban nyeleneh lagi.

"nyari jati diri gimana?"

"ya aku kan bentar lagi mau jadi istri, ibu. i should know myself better" aeri merajuk sambil memainkan jempol donghyeok.

donghyeok menghela napas. "terus nyarinya harus ke cheongju?"

aeri geming sepersekian detik. "karena cuma di cheongju aku ngerasa disambut" jawab aeri lirih lantas mematri manik donghyeok. bola mata donghyeok itu serupa susu coklat almond yang selalu aeri suka di tengah malam. itu hangat, mata aeri jadi terasa panas.

"kemarin waktu ke rumah kamu dan liat gimana kamu disambut, aku ngerasa kecil. ibu bahkan nyisihin duri ikan khusus buat kamu, that's lovely, dong, bikin aku ngerasa hangat tapi juga bolong. aku sadar kalau aku nggak pernah diajarin caranya nyambut. boro-boro misahin duri, aku selalu makan makanan yang udah jadi. kecuali kalo di rumah nenek aku disuapin. jadi aku ke cheongju," aeri mengedip dan buliran air jatuh begitu saja dari matanya.

seakan sudah menjadi peran, donghyeok langsung menyeka. dia lantas merapatkan duduk dengan aeri dan mengelus lengan si perempuan. aeri akan lebih tenang ketika menangis dan tidak diinterupsi. maka donghyeok memberi afirmasi non verbal itu.

"aku mau kayak ibu kamu, yang menyambut dan menghangatkan rumah. makanya aku mau belajar dari nenek just turned out it made me realising kalau selama ini aku yang selalu jadi yang disambut kamu. itu bikin aku sedih, kalau gitu apa aku bisa jadi ibu di rumah kita? aku bahkan nggak tau cara misahin duri ikan" lambat laun aeri sesegukan lantas mencari dada donghyeok untuk bersembunyi. pun donghyeok membuka lebar dirinya, menyambut aeri yang katanya tidak jago menyambut orang.

omong kosong.

bahkan tanpa pelukan atau ikan yang telah dipilah dari duri pun, cukup melihat aeri saja donghyeok sudah merasa disambut. batangan coklat yang selalu ia selipkan di tas, botol-botol air yang selalu penuh di kulkas, makanan 4 sehat 5 sempurna yang selalu komplit dibekalkan; bukan cuma disambut tapi donghyeok merasa dirawat. diperhatikan sepenuh hati.

"aeri, rumah itu jadi hangat bukan cuma karena sambutan tapi juga perawatan. rumah yang dirawat dengan benar bakal jadi nyaman kan? dan kamu itu the best care taker yang aku tau. aku mau hidup dirawat sama kamu, terus-terusan. yang lama"

[laoirei-pages]

Back to Childhood!

Now, Chasers give me a whole day to go back in time to when you were 3-4 years old. At that time, I may not have any good memories, but today I have the opportunity to go back and enjoy that day. Tell the Chasers what I will do when the day comes, from waking up until you fall asleep at night with happiness without the burden of thoughts for tomorrow. Will you play with friends all day? Play seesaw? I��ll tell you all about it! (💭)

Aku terbangun di pagi hari, mendengar suara burung yang berkicau masuk ke dalam indra pendengaranku. Aku pun terduduk sambil mengucek mataku sebentar, dan terdiam agar nyawaku terkumpul. Rasanya sangat sepi, mungkin aku bangun lebih lama daripada hari-hari sebelumnya. Aku pun turun dari tempat tidur, berjalan ke luar kamar untuk mencari keberadaan sosok Ibuku. Ternyata, Ibuku sedang di dapur tengah membuatkan sarapan untukku.

Ibu menyapaku dengan senyumnya yang manis, sambil bertanya “apakah tidurmu nyenyak” dan aku hanya menjawab dengan anggukan. Ibu mengangkatku untuk duduk di meja makan, dan menghidangkan sarapan tepat di depanku. Aku sangat suka sarapan ini, yaitu semangkuk nasi kukus disertai dengan sup miso.

Ah iya, aku memakan dengan sendok sebenarnya. Karena aku masih kecil, aku belum belajar memakan dengan sumpit. Sebenarnya sangat ingin, tapi ibu mengatakan kalau makan dengan sumpit bisa dilakukan ketika aku sudah sekolah nanti. Dan aku menurut saja apa kata Ibu. Lagipula, sedikit susah kalau makan dengan sumpit apalagi tanganku masih terbilang sangat kecil.

Kegiatan sarapan pun usai, saatnya untuk mandi. Seperti biasa, Ibu memandikanku dengan sangat lihai dan sudah pasti bersih dan wangi. Setelahnya, aku memakai baju yang sangat lucu bermotif kartun Strawberry Shortcake. Aku duduk di ruang TV, sambil menyaksikan kartun favoriteku yang sedang tayang.

Tayangan tersebut telah selesai, aku turun dari sofa tempat aku duduk dan menghampiri Ayah yang sedang menyiram tanaman di belakang rumah kami. Di sana, terdapat kebun strawberry yang tidak terlalu luas namun bisa menanam strawberry di sana. Mengapa keluarga kecil kami menanam strawberry? Karena aku sangat menyukai buah imut berwarna merah yang manis itu. 🍓❤️

Aku memperhatikan Ayah yang sedang fokus menyirami tanaman sambil sesekali memerhatikan buah strawberry yang tampaknya baru saja berbuah. Ada beberapa buah strawberry juga yang tampaknya sudah matang. Aku yakin, setelah ini Ayah akan memetiknya. Biasanya, aku sangat senang memetik strawberry. Namun, hari ini aku sedikit malas.

Aku melalui hari sama seperti hari-hari sebelumnya. Bermain dengan mainan atau boneka lucu, bermain masak-masakan, terkadang aku juga mewarnai karena Ibu membelikanku banyak sekali buku yang bisa aku warnai. Itu sangat menyenangkan! Ibu juga membelikanku beberapa buku pelajaran, karena Ibu mengatakan aku akan sekolah tahun depan. Aku sudah sangat tidak sabar.

Malam hari pun datang, sudah waktunya untukku tidur. Aku sudah bersiap untuk tidur dan sudah memakai piyama yang sangat nyaman agar aku tidak merasa risih saat tidur. Aku memejamkan mata, tidak langsung tertidur. Tapi beberapa menit kemudian aku masak ke dalam mimpi. ૮ ․ ․ ྀིა ❤︎

[iiftaa]

sup ikan

minggu sore yang hujan. aku duduk di depan monitor studio yang menunjukkan layar hitam. aku baru saja bangun tidur siang ditemani oleh album baru Ariana Grande. seperti kata orang-orang, kalau kamu tidur siang terlalu lama, niscaya kamu akan linglung.

aku mengumpulkan nyawa yang rasanya masih mengawang. selanjutnya, aku mengangkat tangan dan merenggangkan persendianku. saat aku buka notif handphone, tertera namanya di sana.

"aku ke gereja dulu ya."

"kamu ngga mau anter?"

"ih. ngga jawab. ini mah pasti belum bangun."

"dasar sleepyheaddd."

itu adalah empat bubble chat yang dia kirimkan tadi pagi.

"hahaha. lucu." ujarku, entah kepada siapa.

"selamat sore, Ya."

"maaf, aku baru bangun. semalem ngga tidur sampe sahur. habis sahur baru tidur. bangun jam 10. kerja sedikit. terus tidur lagi jam 1. aku ngga ngecek hape sama sekali. 😬"

jariku memencet tombol send.

sekitar 10 menit kemudian, handphoneku berdering.

nama 'Ya 🐹' muncul di layar. menandakan dialah yang menelponku.

aku menjawab panggilan itu.

"bangunnn." suaranya yang sangat menggemaskan itu terdengar dari ujung sana.

"iyaaa. ini udah." jawabku singkat.

"ngga sempat cari takjil dong?" dia bertanya.

"aku kalo ngga sama kamu emang pernah cari takjil?" aku menjawab pertanyaannya dengan pertanyaan juga.

"iya sihhh. yaudah, nanti malam ke rumah?"

"kenapa ke rumah?" aku sedikit mengerutkan dahi saat mendengar pertanyaannya (yang lebih seperti permintaan).

"mamah masak sup ikan. katanya suruh kamu ke rumah." jelasnya.

"iya gitu?" tanyaku.

"iyaaaaa. sama ini, katanya chipsy juga kangen. marmut baruku juga belum kenalan sama kamu." jawabnya.

"oooh. oke. aku juga kangen... kamu." ujarku.

"dih. udah deh. ditunggu nanti malem. byeee jelekkk." jawabnya sambil tergesa menutup panggilan.

aku tidak kesal. aku justru tertawa melihat tingkahnya.

dia masih sama seperti pertama kali aku mengenalnya 15 tahun lalu. dia yang tidak percaya pada perkataan orang yang bilang kalau orang itu merindukannya. dia yang suka menyangkal. dia yang sering salah tingkah. dia yang... aku suka.

[jaemirani]

Letters written but never sent.

Bermodal video tutorial dan titah dari sang Mama lewat panggilan video, Salazar berhasil buatkan sup sayur dan nasi merah untuk Wave Joelian. Bermodal internet juga ia pilihkan menu makan siang untuk Wave yang katanya bagus untuk dikonsumsi oleh orang pengidap gerd dan asam lambung. Dan syukurnya, pemuda kecil tak banyak protes saat ia sodorkan menu sederhana yang ia buat dengan penuh usaha. Mungkin karena setiap suapnya akan dihadiahi usapan lembut di kepala, pun apresiasi yang ia bubuhi tak kalah banyaknya dari semangkuk nasi.

Usainya, setelah habiskan makan siang dan lewati banyak konversasi di meja makan, Salazar beri pelukan hangat yang sudah ia janjikan, sertakan juga usapan-usapan lembut dan menenangkan di punggung juga surai. Memangku tubuh yang lebih kecil selagi lengan itu melingkar di sekitar lehernya. Pundak Salazar juga bermain peran, menjadi tumpuan untuk kepala yang dijatuhkan kala kantuk mulai rayapi kelopak mata si kecil dalam pelukan.

Ia tak pernah bubungkan harap akan terjadinya semua peristiwa hari ini. Tak pernah ia berharap akan pangku Wave bak anak koala yang sedang manja, tak pula berharap akan hadapi sisi lain dari teman masa kecilnya. Ia tak kuat. Perasaannya membuncah, meletup-letup saat akhirnya ia dengar Wave sebut dirinya aku dan panggil ia dengan kamu. Padahal sebelumnya juga begitu, saat mereka masih sama-sama dahulu kala sekali, saat jarak belum pisahkan mereka berdua. Namun, entah kenapa, kali ini rasanya berbeda.

Ada desiran aneh yang ia rasa, kala manisnya ucap juga kalimat yang keluar dari bilah bibir yang lebih kecil ditujukan untuk dirinya. Ia ingin asumsikan ini sebagai rasa cinta, namun, rasanya seperti ada yang salah. Ia takut dengan fakta. Ia takut mengetahui bahwa ia pikul rasa itu sendirian, tanpa orang kedua.

Gerakan kecil dari pemuda dalam pelukan lantas buat matanya yang sempat terpejam kembali terbuka. Tangannya yang sempat terhenti beri usapan, kini kembali bekerja, tak ingin pemuda kecil terganggu tidurnya.

“Usapnya jangan berhenti...”

Ah, ia beri protesan.

“Iya, ini diusap lagi.”

Namun, tiba-tiba Wave tegakkan diri, lepaskan kalungan lengan pada leher Salazar. “Aku mau tiduran di kasur aja.”

“Kenapa?”

“Takut, nanti paha kamu kesemutan.”

Pemuda tinggi beri ulasan, “Gak apa-apa, semut gak bakal berani deketin, kok.” Padahal aslinya, paha itu sudah kram dan mati rasa. Namun, pemuda kecil kukuh, lantas langsung tarik diri dari pelukan sang pemuda tinggi.

Selimutnya ditarik untuk kemudian tutupi sebagian diri, kembali pejamkan mata; berusaha temui kembali alam bawah sadarnya. Sedang yang di sana masih sandarkan diri di kepala kasur milik yang tengah tidur, merekam bagaimana pemuda kecil rebahkan diri dengan posisi menghadap tempatnya duduk sekarang.

Lengan, paha, dan dada yang sempat beri dekapan masih sisakan panas, pun degup jantung yang tak normal itu masih bekerja layaknya dipacu dengan kencang. Ia benar-benar tengah jatuh, ya? Jatuh pada teman masa kecilnya. Jatuh cinta, namanya, kalau ia tak salah duga.

ㅤ

ㅤ

ㅤ

ㅤ

Lembayung senja diluar sana datang mengintip dari celah jendela, kala si pemilik kamar masih pulas dalam tidurnya. Nyawa lain di dalam sana lantas sigap tutup jendela juga tirai untuk halau jingga yang berniat bangunkan pemuda yang masih terbaring di atas kasurnya.

Tak ia sadari sudah seharian ia berada di kediaman Wave, temani putra tunggal Hansen yang tengah sakit. Sampai pukul lima sore pun, sang wanita yang titipkan anaknya pada dirinya belum juga pulang ke rumah, kiranya masih sibuk dengan jam kerjanya.

Setelah cukup lama rekam langit jingga di luar sana, kini matanya beralih pada satu kardus berukuran sedang yang ditaruh di atas meja belajar. Ia bukan orang yang kepoan, namun melihat kardus dengan untaian kata berbunyi “memori kita” di atasnya, buat ia dilanda jutaan ton rasa penasaran. Lantas tanpa pikir panjang, ia dudukkan diri pada kursi, kalakian, dibukanya kotak persegi.

Ia tercekat.

Tumpukan surat dengan kertas yang menguning, juga lembar sisa kertas yang disobek asal; penuhi kotak yang ia buka dengan tangan yang bergetar. Ia temukan beberapa bungkus permen warna-warni di dalam sana, juga satu permen cincin yang masih terbungkus plastik bening.

Diambilnya sebagian surat. Tertulis namanya di sana, dengan alamat rumah yang hanya tertera; Australia. Kalakian, dengan tergesa jemarinya buka amplop yang bungkus satu lembar kertas kekuningan. Terukir banyak kalimat di atas sana, dibubuhkan melalui tinta hitam dengan tulisan tangan tak terlalu rapi. Entah tahun berapa surat ini dibuat, namun yang pasti, itu adalah saat mereka dipisah dengan jarak tiga ribu kilometer lebih.

Ia sejenak berhenti usai buka dua surat yang secara garis besar, isinya pertanyakan kapan ia kembali. Atur napas yang semakin tak karuan. Ia mana tahu. Ia mana tahu teman masa kecilnya itu juga buatkan ia surat, namun tak pernah dikirim ke tujuan. Ia tak pernah terpikir untuk beri alamat rumahnya di negeri kanguru kala ia pamit pada Wave waktu itu. Ia mana tahu, kepindahannya akan bangkitkan berjuta rasa rindu.

Ia tak pernah tahu, mereka pikul perasaan itu dengan jarak beribu-ribu.

Jemarinya kembali bergerak, sentuh surat-surat lain di dalam sana, dan berakhir ambil dua amplop yang kemudian ia buka. Tulisan di atas lembar kertas itu cukup berbeda dari surat-surat sebelumnya; yang dua ini jauh lebih rapi. Jauh lebih banyak pula kalimat yang ditorehkan di atas sana.

Tangisnya tumpah. Tak tertampung, usai ia baca dua surat terakhir. Ia bagai disiksa. Penyesalan serang dirinya bersama sesak yang berburu.

Ia menyesal tak banyak usaha untuk bisa hubungi Wave saat mereka berpisah, menyesal hanya kalut dalam pikiran buruk bahwa Wave tak menginginkan ia dan pertemanan mereka. Ia menyesal tak cari cara dan malah berpasrah kala kewarasannya hampir dibunuh oleh rasa rindu.

Sesenggukan ia menangis, selagi tangan genggam lembar surat yang hampir basah oleh air mata. Fakta bahwa perkataan Simon tentang Wave, surat, dan puisi-puisinya ternyata benar adanya. Ia seperti menggila, menyesali semuanya, padahal segala sesuatu sekarang sudah baik-baik saja. Namun, ada sisi dalam dirinya yang belum bisa ia maafkan, sebab pernah abaikan Wave dan percaya pada pikiran buruknya.

“Umh, Salaz...”

Rengekan halus itu berasal dari pemuda yang baru saja terjaga dari tidurnya. Menyingkap selimut, lantas tegakkan diri selagi punggung tangan usap mata yang agaknya bengkak usai tidur berjam-jam. Ia berdiri, hampiri Salazar yang duduk belakangi tempat tidurnya. Kalakian, ia berhenti, membeku beberapa sekon usai mata tangkap pemuda tinggi tengah tangisi isi kotak persegi. Sebelum akhirnya, dengan sigap ia sambar kotak serta surat-surat di dalam genggaman Salazar, marah atas lancangnya pemuda itu sentuh sesuatu yang tak seharusnya ia tahu.

Tubuhnya gemetar. Tanpa sadar, ia cengkram surat-surat itu hingga kertasnya berantakan. Ia benar-benar lupa untuk singkirkan kotak itu dari tempat yang mungkin akan tertangkap pandangan Salazar. Ia tak tahu kenapa dirinya setakut ini, ia tak mengerti sama sekali.

“Kenapa diambil? Kamu takut aku baca surat-suratnya?”

Salazar berdiri di hadapan Wave, sisa tangisnya masih ada, pipinya yang basah dibiarkan begitu saja. “Aku udah baca setengahnya.”

Pemuda kecil menengadah, tatap wajah kacau pemuda tinggi. Ia tak tahu, tapi dirinya kesal. “Lu lancang!”

Yang lebih tinggi agaknya tak mengerti kala tatapan tajam miliknya ia lempar, ada nyawa lain yang merasa diintimidasi. Ia tiba-tiba ikut kesal, sesak yang berkali-kali hantam dadanya tak dipedulikan, ia tak bisa kendalikan semua perasaan yang serang dirinya hari ini.

“Kenapa gak kirim semua surat itu ke aku? Kenapa disimpan buat diri sendiri?”

“Alamat lu aja gue gak punya, gimana bisa kirim surat ke lu!”

Ia usap wajahnya dengan kasar, “then at least, biarin aku baca semua suratnya.”

“Enggak!”

Tangan pemuda tinggi terangkat, dengan lancangnya raih kotak dalam dekapan Wave, namun sang pemilik lebih dulu beri dorongan agar ia menjauh.

“Lu tuh sadar gak sih, Sal? Selama ini lu gak pernah usaha buat hubungin gue. Lu gak pernah kirim surat ke gue, padahal lu jelas tau alamat rumah ini.”

“Kata siapa?! Kata siapa gue gak pernah usaha?!” Bentakan itu akhirnya lolos juga. Kiranya, ia benar-benar kesulitan untuk kendalikan semua perasaan yang membuncah.

“Gue selalu coba buat kirim surat ke lu, tapi Papa gak suka. Dia selalu berusaha buat ganti alamatnya, dan akhirnya surat-surat gue gak pernah sampe. Gue udah usaha selama ini, Wave! Gue udah coba cari lu lewat sosmed. Facebook, instagram, twitter, di semua platform udah pernah gue cari, tapi akun lu gak ada! Terus lu masih salahin gue juga?! Kalo lu mau komunikasi kita lancar waktu itu, seharusnya lu juga usaha buat hubungin gue lewat apapun. Tapi ternyata lu, enggak, kan? Usaha lu cuma sampe nulis surat doang!”

BUGH!

Wave daratkan pukulan, tepat pada tulang pipi Salazar. Buat kewarasan pemuda tinggi terkumpul kembali setelah beberapa sekon menghilang. Buat ia tersadar telah bentak dan teriaki Wave hingga buat pemuda itu menangis.

“Lu gak ngerti..! Lu gak pernah tau apa aja yang gue lewati selama ini!”

Perasaan Salazar mencelos. Melihat bagaimana Wave menangis karena perkataannya; hal yang tak akan pernah bisa dimaafkan oleh dirinya sendiri. Ia bak orang gila, diselimuti amarah atas rasa sesal yang dirasa, dan dengan bodohnya ia malah limpahkan semuanya kepada pemuda yang presensinya sungguh ia jaga untuk tak lagi dibuat terluka.

Ia sungguh sudah gila.

“It was all my fault. Aku gak bermaksud buat bentak-bentak kamu, Wave, maaf...” Ditangkupnya pipi berisi itu, diberi usapan lembut kala pemuda kecil ingin berontak. Tatapan keduanya bertemu, bersabung lama dengan sisa-sisa bulir jernih di ujung mata. Sebelum akhirnya pemuda tinggi muntahkan untaian bunyi bahasa dengan sangat lembutnya.

“Aku emang gak pernah tau semuanya, Wave, aku clueless soal semuanya semenjak kita pisah. Aku pengen tau semuanya dari sudut pandang kamu, aku pengen tau apa yang bikin kita gak pernah bisa komunikasi selama enam tahun itu.”

Pemuda kecil tak beri protesan, kiranya usapan di pipi itu berhasil tenangkannya yang juga sempat dikuasai amarah tak berarti.

“So, please, tell me everything. Aku perlu tau, aku gak mau kita terus-terusan salah paham. Ceritain semuanya, ya? Pelan-pelan aja. Apapun itu, aku gak akan hakimi kamu.”

Lantas kala pemuda di hadapannya beri anggukan, ia ulas senyuman, sertakan usapan lembut di pipi pemuda kecil. Kembali beri nyawa atas hilangnya sejenak akal sehat mereka berdua.

[langitbirusthings]

Pulang dan semacamnya.

Sekarang, aku rindu pulang.

Sekarang aku sudah berani mengatakan, bahwa Ibu memang tempat berpulang yang tidak buruk.

Aku tidak peduli kota apa di sana, yang ditempati ibu, adik-adik serta kakek dan nenek.

Aku rindu,

Masakan pagi nenek yang tak pernah gagal;

tempoyak, ikan sambal, lema, sambal ujak, sup ayam ikan semacamnya, sayur bening, pucuk ubi santan, sambal terasi, serta terong dan ikan asin sambal, mie goreng buatan ibu (hahahah ibu terkadang masak kok)

Aku rindu pagi Mingguku disambut ketukan pintu ibu, lalu kubuka pintu itu dan kembali tidur lagi. Ibu pun ikut di sampingku, di atas tempat tidurku–memejamkan mata jua. Tiba tiba, tiba tiba, jam sudah menunjukkan Zuhur saja. Memang begitulah kita ya, Bu.

Aku rindu ocehanmu, marahmu ketika aku pulang tak tahu waktu.

"jam 5 harus udah ada di rumah"

Aku ngeyel. Aku berontak, aku selalu pulang lebih dari jam itu. Kadang jam 6, jam 6 lewat, pun sampai jam 7. Ya berujung aku mendiamkan diri, masuk ke kamar tanpa sadar salah apa.

Aku rindu drumband, main bellyra, latihan panas hujan terik hingga Azan magrib berkumandang. Ibu tak akan tega aku kelelahan. Tapi aku tetap bersikeras latihan. Aku sukaaaaaaaa. Aku suka musikkkkkkkk. Lalu lalu, banyak kejadian yang merugikan sebenarnya, tapi lagi lagi aku tak jera. Ibu marah aku keras kepala, ibu marah jika aku sakit karena memaksa untuk ikut latihan. Alhasil aku berbohong, aku bilang aku sudah sehat, aku bilang aku ada tugas kelompok, nyatanya aku latihan drumband secara diam diam. Maaaffffffffffffff.

Tapi kalian tahu hahahah, herannya... Ibu selalu ada di barisan paling depan ketika aku tampil 😭 ia akan lupa dengan ocehan-ocehannya.

Iya aku tahu, ibu sebenarnya bangga, tapi ya sedikit khawatir saja. Akuuu rinduu, aku rindu marahnya itu.

Aku rindu marah ibu ketika ibu pulang kantor rumah masih seperti kapal pecah (kata ibu sih begitu; kapal pecah😩)

Memang salahku, aku terlalu pemalas, aku terlalu sibuk dengan urusan urusan lainnn. Yaa ibu memang secapek itu, dari pagi hingga sore mengabdi kepada negara, pulang-pulang disuguhkan rumah yang berantakan sedemikian rupa. Alhasil aku kena semprot wkwkwk. Dimarahinnnnnn. Di situ aku mulai mengerjakan hal hal yang berantakan itu... Kemudian magisnya, ibu bilang "sudah.. lanjutkan besok saja, tidurlah"

Aku rindu. Benar-benar rindu.

Aku ingin menangis, tapi sungguh cengeng diriku jika begitu. Tidak, aku tidak menangis. Aku jarang merindukannya, tapi sekarang teringat masanya saja. Masa itu ternyata telah usai, ya? Tak ada pengulangan.

[rhopaloccera]

sebuah sup untuk merayakan kedewasaan.

pagi ini aku belajar beragam rasa dari dalam panci dengan berbagai isi. di luar dapur tampak sedikit gerimis dengan pemandangan favorit kita bersama; hujan dan hijau yang tampak menghibur. aku tak pernah pandai masak sebelumnya, dan kamu tahu bahwa sampai selamanya pun aku memilih kerongkonganku dicekik lapar daripada aku bergerak untuk mengapikan kompor. dan kamu begitu paham akan hal itu hingga ketika aku hendak begitu dekat dengan berbagai hal mematikan ini, kamu dengan senang hati membuatkanku satu sup dengan sisipan doa berikut tenaga yang ingin kamu salurkan.

terima kasih, ucapku dalam getir dan suara yang selalu menyembunyikan lemahku ini. dan kamu begitu paham lagi, karena ketika aku berada tepat di sampingmu, tak lain yang kamu berai adalah satu senyum yang selalu aku suka keberadaanya di sana.

aku senang ketika pagiku adalah cemas, maka dapur adalah tempat dimana aku menemukan berbagai pulihnya di sana.

karena akan ada kamu di sana, dengan kompor yang telah kamu apikan itu, bersama sup dan nasi hangat yang kamu rebus bersama doa serta separuh tenaga yang kamu punya.

karena akan ada kamu di sana, di dapur itu, dan dengannya akan ada senyum itu di sana.

pagi ini aku memilih untuk memotong sawi dan kamu mencelupkan jamur ke dalam panci. dan kamu paham jika nanti jamur itu akan lebih banyak untukmu pula sawi ini akan lebih banyak untukku. kita telah tahu porsi masing-masing seakan kita memahami bahwa cemas hari ini adalah porsi yang telah cukup pula untuk direbus bersama mereka. lalu kamu masukkan kepingan kamu ke dalam sup seperti yang senantiasa kamu lakukan ketika memasak, yang membuat seluruh matangnya racikanmu terasa begitu luar biasa nikmat.

lalu ketika sup itu matang, kita menuangkannya dalam mangkuk masing-masing. dan aku mengambil satu sendok kuahnya yang mengepulkan uap yang harum itu. dan aku sesap; aku rasakan dalam-dalam berbagai komposisi yang telah kita tuai di sini; dan aku perlahan menyadari bahwa sup kali ini dimasak dengan sebuah bumbu yang mengantarkanku menuju perjalanan-perjalanan yang lain—sebuah sup untuk merayakan kedewasaan.

"Selamat bertumbuh dewasa; dan ini sup untuk menemani perjalananmu," ujar sup itu di dalam lambungku.