#SWEETHEART. sweetheart is cute and cheesy and one of cas' favorites

[clairenatural]

so sorry but it does throw me off when i see cas calling dean "baby"

[swiftlymoniquesblog]

To the Fandom from Dean

Hey, there sweetheart,

So, things aren’t the best right now, huh? Sammy was just telling me one of your favorite shows is ending, is that so? Well, I don’t know anything about being that invested in a tv show, or anything really, to fully understand how you’re feeling, but I hate seeing you like this. Come on, you’re supposed to be smiling and laughing loudly as you do! Where did that go? A tv show really affects you that much? Why is it ending anyway? Look, I don’t know how to answer any of these questions for you, and I wish I could, I really do, but I can’t. Maybe I’m not really helping here, but I am trying, really. Sammy mentioned too, that it was that stupid show where people are acting like us and are telling our story? Oh, come on now sweetheart, there can’t be any part of that show that makes you feel so strongly, is there? Well, I guess there is otherwise, I wouldn’t be writing you this letter, now would I? You know me, I’m no good at expressing my feelings or sympathy too much, but for you, I’ll give it my best shot.

I’m really sorry that the show is ending. I had no idea it meant that much to you and if I did, I probably wouldn’t have said all the mean things I have about it. Or even in this letter. So, know what? Just ignore those negative comments I mentioned earlier. Ah, you know, I just, I don’t know, I’m just sorry. Nothing bothers me more than seeing you sad; I hate it. But I know it’s so much than just a show to you. It’s how you’ve met a lot of your friends, whom you probably wouldn’t have because of that show, so I guess it’s good in that way. I have a confession and you probably don’t even know this, but I watch you sometimes when you’re watching the show. Shocker, I know, but I do. Have you ever wondered how you look when you watch that show? Well, I can tell you, it’s pretty freaking adorable. You get so drawn into it, I’ve thrown things at you, and you don’t even flinch! Seriously, I’ve done a lot of crazy things when you watch that show…I mean…pretend I didn’t just say all that, okay? The look on your face gets really intense when things get intense on the show or they're funny; your laugh is too cute. And your eyes go wide whenever you see that guy who plays me. I’ll admit, he is pretty damn attractive, but I’m obviously cuter. Plus, he sounds too Texan to be me; I’m from Kansas for God’s sake!

With all that being said, there’s something else I want to talk about. I know too, that in your world, I’m just a fictional character. I’ll be honest, that scares me. Not that I think it would actually end up happening, but I don’t want people to forget about me. I’ve prayed to Castiel that people won’t forget me after the show ends. It’s one of the only ways we can communicate and you know I’m real, but as soon as the tv gets turned off, I’m just a thought in your head. And I hate that. There’s nothing more I wish I could do than to come and see you. I want to be with you, on a more regular basis! But I can’t and that scares me. You’ve been a huge part of our family in the last several years and now you’re leaving. I don’t know why; I wish you wouldn’t leave me-I mean us. We’re all going to miss you. Oh, screw it, I’M going to miss you. A lot. In fact, I can’t think about you not being here with us all the time. That’s why I didn’t mind that show because you would be here with me, even just for an hour at a time, once a week. And that! What’s up with that? They can’t air it more often? No, I guess not, but there are reruns, right? So, if you watch more often, you can come back and see me, right? Please visit me. I’m cool with it not being all the time, but you’re too damn important to me to lose forever. Don’t do that to me, please? You have to come to see us soon; we won’t survive if you don’t.

What will the future be like for me and Sammy? Not sure to be honest but I do know one thing; we’ve asked Cas and Jack to move in here, so we can be a family. You always wanted that, remember? I do know too, that we’ll take that vacation to the beach soon. I need a chair, a drink in one of those cheesy pineapples with the fake umbrellas! And a bunch of girls around me. And beer. And bacon. And burgers. Oh, and pie! Can’t forget the pie; remember I told you that. Don’t give me that disapproval look about the girls, you know you’ll always be my number one girl. With everything going on in your life, you’re doing one hell of a good job. Your work is a bitch, that stupid virus is still holding on and keeping everyone from living a normal life without a mask! Not to mention, your inner thoughts and demons you are constantly fighting. You are so strong and I know it feels like you are just barely hanging on, but you gotta keep fighting, okay? You gotta fight for yourself, your family and friends, and me and Sammy. We’re rooting for you, all the way, 150%! You’re our girl, please don’t ever forget that either. Hold tight to the thought of the first time you came to see us. That was a day I’ll never forget; the best one in fact. Guess I should probably tell you this since I won’t be able to say it after I finish this letter, but I love you. No, not just as a friend or a little sister, I fell in love with you. I love it when you watch that show, or any show really. When you give me attitude back when I tease you, throwing your hands on your hips and staring up at me like you’re going to fight me, but I just wrap you in a hug and tickle you until you turn red. I love it when you get annoyed with my jokes but you laugh anyway. Or how you always give me a hard time about how much I love Baby. I don’t care if it’s “not healthy to love a car that much.” I overheard you tell Sam that you think I love that care more than I’ll love anyone, and I want you to know, that’s not true. I love you way more than that car but I guess it really doesn’t matter anymore does it? And I know how you’re going to be when you read this. You’ll be so mad that I admitted my feelings to you in a stupid letter and not to your face, as a “man should do!” And I’m sorry this is the way you’re finding this out but I couldn’t find the right words to speak this out, so I wrote it down.

Anyways, I want you to know, no matter what happens to you in your world, you’ll always have me, Sam, Jack, and Cas cheering you on. We may not be right there with you, but you will always have us in your heart and your mind. I’m just a thought or an episode away from being there for you. And I’ll always come running when you call; that’s what I do for my girl. If it were up to me, you’d be living in the Bunker with us all the time so we can protect you from dangerous situations and I can just easily hold you when you cry and kiss your tears away, but I can’t. Damn it, I started crying. Haven’t cried over a girl in a really long time; see how much I care about you? It’s a lot. Wherever life takes you, I am so proud of you and I am always rooting for you; your biggest fan. I love you, kiddo.

 Yours,

Dean Winchester

Read Sam’s letter here

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[canyouimaginethatstory]

The Perfect Date (Team Free Will/OC Imagine)

Summary: When Jack finds out Heather has never been on a date and doesn't feel special enough for any guy he and the boys plan to show her different. Will it work?

Heather was sitting in her room in the bunker on her bed with her laptop. She was watching some sappy romance movie about a first date. She had left her door open. Jack walked by and stopped when he heard her sniffle. He walked in and saw she was crying. “Heather are you ok?” he asked. She sniffled wiping her eyes with a tissue.

“I’m ok Jack,” she smiled.

“You’re crying,” he pointed out. She giggled.

“Yes, but it’s because the movie I watched was sad in a happy way,” she explained.

“So, the character’s happiness about her first date made you cry?” he asked trying to understand better as he noticed the movie she was watching.

“Yes,” she said, “mainly because I’ve never really been on a date myself,”.

“Why not?” he asked.

“I guess I just haven’t been special enough to anyone,” she said.

“You don’t feel special?” he asked. She smiled at the concern in his voice.

“I’ll be ok Jack,” she said patting his head, “maybe one day it’ll change,”. Later that night Jack met the other guys in the map room.

“Hey, guys,” he said, “Heather is special to us right?”.

“Of course she is Jack,” Castiel asked and Sam nodded.

“Why do you ask?” Dean asked. He explained what he saw earlier and what Heather had told him.

“Do you wanna do something to cheer her up?” Castiel asked.

“Why don’t we all give her the perfect first date,” he said, “we all do something sweet for her that you would do on a date,”.

“That’s not a bad idea,” Dean said, “let’s brainstorm,”.

The next evening she walked into her room and saw a note on her bed. When she read the note all it said was wear something nice and be dressed before six. She picked out a pink and green camo t-shirt, a faded jean skirt, a black flannel button-up shirt she left unbuttoned, and her favorite pair of black boots. She brushed her long, black hair and applied some lip gloss and eyeliner to bring out her hazel eyes. Just as she finished up there was a knock on her door. She opened it to see Sam standing there. He was dressed nicer than usual in a gray shirt, a blue and white flannel shirt buttoned over it, and a nice pair of black jeans.

“Hi Heather,” he greeted, “ready?”

“For?” she asked.

“Well, I’m not allowed to say,” he said holding out his hand. She took it closing her door. He lead her into the living room where she saw two cups of tea and a book on the table. “Would you like to read with me?”. She and Sam would read lore together all the time.

“As in research?” she asked.

“No,” he said picking up the book. She saw it was the first book of one of her favorite book series’ Flowers In The Attic by V.C. Andrews. She smiled.

“One of my favorites,”. They both sat on the couch her snuggled up against him enough to be able to read along with him. Before long she rested her head on his shoulder. About an hour later Dean entered the room just as they finished the book. Sam kissed her cheek and left the room. Dean walked over to the stereo in the room and turned it on. A soft, slow melody started to play. He walked over to her and held out his hand.

“Heather, can I have this dance?” he asked. She smiled. She didn’t know what the boys were up to, but so far she liked it. She nodded and took his hand. He helped her stand up and walked her to the middle of the room. He put his arms around her waist and she wrapped her’s around his neck.

“What are you guys up to?” she asked.

“Just relax and enjoy sweetheart,” he said. She soon laid her head on his shoulder as they slow danced. The smell of Dean’s cologne tickled her nose. She loved the scent. A little while later Castiel entered the room. Dean smiled and kissed her forehead as he turned the stereo off.

“Heather,” Castiel said walking over to her, “would mind taking a walk with me?”. She smiled. She could never resist the awkward cuteness of her favorite angel.

“I would love to Cas,” she said. He wrapped his arms around her and they were soon on a forest path. He kept one arm wrapped around her back as they walked down the path. She looked around. “Forests are so peaceful,”.

“Have you spent much time in forests?” he asked.

“When I was little,” she stated, “my family would spend pretty much half the summer camping, and if I wasn’t camping with family I was with friends,”.

“Sounds like they’re good memories,” Castiel pointed out.

“Best moments of my life,” she said, “until I met you and the boys,”. He smiled as they got to a small clearing. There was a fallen log and across from it was a small field of flowers.

“Wow,” she said. They soon sat on the log and she just gazed up at the bright stars.

“Without all the lights the city casts stars are so much brighter,” Castiel said looking up.

“Did you help place them in the sky?” Heather asked.

“Not a lot,” he answered looking up, “but I did help create some the constellations,”. She smiled at the twinkle in his dark blue eyes as he said that.

“Hey, Cas, can I tell you something that might be cheesy for a friend to say?” she asked.

“Of course,” he said making the cute confused facial expression he always did, “but, how can a comment be cheesy?”. Heather giggled.

“I hope this isn’t insulting,” she started, “but ever since we met I’ve considered you my guardian angel,”. The angel smiled.

“That’s not insulting at all,” he said, “I consider it an honor,”. She gave him a little hug and continued to look at the stars. Trying to trace shapes with them. She shivered a little and Castiel happily took off his trench coat and draped it over her. She now felt honored. She had never seen Castiel let anyone else wear his trench coat. “We should head back now,” he finally said.

“I suppose you can’t tell me what tonight is about either?” she asked. He just smiled and helped her up. They were soon back in the bunker living room. Jack walked in just as Castiel hugged her. “Thank you for the walk and stargazing Cas,”. She said.

“My pleasure Heather,” he smiled and walked off.

“Heather, would you like to watch a movie with me?” Jack asked.

“Sure Jack,” she said, “what movie are we watching?”.

“You get to pick,” he said.

“Sliding Doors ok?” Heather asked, “it’s a movie on Netflix,”.

“I’ll make popcorn,” he smiled and headed off to the kitchen. She and Jack sat in Dean’s man cave munching on cheddar popcorn as they enjoyed the movie. Heather was a little nervous at first. She and Jack were about the same age (as much as they could be given he is a nephilim) and she has had a crush on him for a while. She was debating with herself on if she should try to hold his hand. Her face shaded a light red color when she felt Jack softly place his hand on her’s. Had he heard her thoughts? It was an angelic power after all. If he did hear her he didn’t say anything. He just sat there watching the movie with that sweet little smile on his face. She swore he learned that from Castiel.

Just as the movie ended she started to smell something delicious fill the bunker. Jack stood up, “I’ll be right back,” he said and hurried off. He came back a few minutes later. His smile wider making her heart melt more. “Are you hungry Heather?” he asked.

“I could eat,” she said as he walked over and held out his arm.

“Can I escort you to the kitchen?” he asked. She smiled as she stood up and hooked her arm in his.

“Of course,” she said. When they walked in there Heather’s eyes widened. The boys had set up a table. On it where some of her favorite foods. The boys had made beef stroganoff, cheese and broccoli, seasoned mashed potatoes, and a chocolate cheesecake pie. She noticed there were candles lit on the table. They even had a bottle of wine chilling in an ice bucket. Jack went over to the table and pulled out a chair.

“Your chair Miss Heather,” he said. She smiled feeling her cheeks turn rosy again as she took the seat and Jack pushed her up to the table. Sam poured everyone a glass off wine and then they all joined her.

“Now that the guest of honor is here we can dig in,” Dean said. As they ate they all kept the conversation mostly on Heather listening to her answers to questions they asked and stories and whatever else they could get her to talk about from TV shows to books, etc.

“Ok, guys,” she said not able to take it anymore, “why have I been getting the treatment of my life today?”.

“Well Jack told us how you told him you had never been on a date,” Sam said.

“And that you had never had a guy make you feel special,” Dean added.

“So we all four planned what we hope has been a dream date for you with us,” Castiel said.

“Did you like your first date Heather?” Jack asked. Her heart felt like it was gonna explode and tears fill her eyes. These four amazing guys who took her in and made her feel like she was wanted like she was family just made her feel more loved than anyone ever had in her entire life.

“You guys did this all,” she said waving her hand at the table, “just to make me feel special?”.

“No,” Sam said, “we did this not to make you feel special, but to show you that you are special,”.

“And any guys who can’t see that,” Dead added, “are douchebags,”. She giggled wiping tears from her cheeks.

“I love you guys so much,” she got up and gave each boy a hug and kiss on the cheek. As she hugged Dean he pointed to Jack.

“This was mostly his idea,” he said, “he was dead set on doing this for you,”. She looked at him and Jack had the proudest smile on his face.

“Jack,” she said walking over to him and taking his hands in her’s, “this was the sweetest thing ever done for me, and it was the best date anyone could have ever had,” she gave him a short, soft kiss on the lips and then hugged him, “Thank you so much,”.

“Anything for you Heather,” the young Nephilim said hugging her back. His smile almost permanent on his face now.

Request Info: Here

[missjackil]

One Year.... One year ago this month, I was introduced to these AMAZING gentlemen, and life has never been the same! I don’t recall the exact day it happened, but I do know it was March, 2016, 

This is how it started... It was a very cold, snowy winter here in NJ last year, so my life long friend Dawn, my daughter Sarah, and I started binge watching different series on Netflix. Dawn first suggested this show Supernatural, which I had only heard of in passing a few times over the years, but she had watched since the beginning. She said I would love it, the brothers  are hot, they hunt monsters and demons, delve a lot into Religion, which is a big interest of mine, I even have a degree in Theology, and am legally ordained. I checked the title on Netflix and saw it had 10 seasons available, and I said ��“Nah, that’s a pretty big commitment, I dont think I could stay interested in a show that long” then Dawn informed me, that it was still on the air and in season 11. Not my cup of tea, so I declined. She next suggested Nurse Jackie, which was really good, but so easy to burn through. I got the next pick and picked House MD which had been mine, and my daughter Sarah’s favorite series to date.  This was a longer series than Nurse Jackie, 8 seasons instead of 7, and hour long episodes, as opposed to half hour. This took almost 2 months to get through. While watching this series again, I would keep commenting how much I loved the bromance between House and Wilson, to wish Dawn would always reply “The you will LOVE Sam and Dean!!” So since she had next pick, I agreed to give Supernatural a try.  And this is what happened... *CRASH BOOM BANG  <heavy flop>* “Wooooaaah easy tiger” “Dean?” Yeah, these boys are freakin adorable, and Im gonna love this bromance. I thought Dean was hot, and Sam was cute. Too young for me to think he was hot (me being 49 at the time) but I felt like the monsters and a lot of the horror was pretty lame, and sometimes even cheesy, though I did enjoy the chemistry the boys had with each other, and found Sam’s psychic visions to be an interesting element, I didn’t think I would stay interested for very long.  For a while, we were only watching 2-3 episodes at a time, a couple times a week when Dawn would come over. Near the end of S1 I told her I didn’t think I wanted to continue. She asked me to PLEASE give it to the end of season 2 and if I still didnt like it, we could find something else. As promised, I did become more interested in S2. The humor was funnier, the acting got better, and the bromance was hotter, and the emotional moments were even more heart breaking. The first episode that left a really big impression on me was Born Under a Bad Sign. Until then, I knew Sam had psychic powers, and his father was worried he would turn dark, and left it on Dean’s shoulders to save him or kill him (good idea John, what the hell) and this episode was probably showing Sam go bad. I didnt want that, I liked the boys and I wanted to like both of them and not have to start thinking of Sam as evil, but he was soooooo creepy in that episode! I was so afraid he was going to rape Jo, fortunately he didn’t, but that “My daddy shot your daddy in the heeeaad” thing gave me the willies! I was so uncomfortable with this “Dark Sam” I thought maybe I couldnt continue. Dawn didnt want me to stop just yet, but didnt want to give me spoilers, she told me “Don’t worry, Sam and Dean are the GOOD guys and Sam is a REALLY good guy” so I continued. When it was discovered that Sam was possessed, I found that very interesting, I didn’t think the boys would ever succumb to the evil things, just kick their asses all the time, though I assumed theyd have their own asses kicked sometimes, I never thought the show would allow the heroes to really suffer.... boy was I wrong huh??  I recall my first noticing that Sam was hot and built like a truck, in Heart, and it was also the first time I really cried. I remember telling Dawn, I will watch it when she comes over but Im watching it on my own too, because now Im much more interested, but I also said “it’s kind of a bummer knowing the boys wont die, that will take away from the suspense and emotional moments when it’s feared they might die, and I remember her giving me this look... she said “trust me, you know nothing”. She was right ... All Hell Breaks Loose 1 & 2 had me sobbing! When Sam dies in Dean’s arms and Dean sobs into his neck, I dont think Ive ever seen such intense, realistic  grief on a TV show. And then Dean goes and sells his soul for Sam!! This turned what I thought was a “My brother is my best friend” love into a “Id willingly spend eternity in fire and torment, to have one more year with my brother” love. That was a big turning point for me. I new Id watch it till the end and couldnt wait for those long days off when I could just binge all day long.  Then Season 4 happened... I dont know when exactly it happened, or which episode it was, but somewhere early in S4, I discovered the most amazing thing. I woke up one day and realized I am madly in love with Sam Winchester! And to top it off, I was hopelessly addicted and obsessed with SPN! I wont give a rundown of how each season hit me, but its been a crazy, emotional, tragically painful, beautful roller coaster that I have no intentions to ever get off of. By the time I got to S9 and started seeing the episodes dwindle away, I didnt want to finish too fast, yet I wanted to keep binging, so thats when I decided to start rewatching. ration out the newer episodes so I dont finish too fast, and binge the ones Ive already seen, and Ive done that continiously since then, and that was in May. By the end of June, I had watched everything on Netflix and purchased all of S11 On Demand and just kept finishing and starting over, rinse, repeat.  What I have learned... I mean no disrespect to Dean, I love him... but, if he ever says “As long as Im around, nothing bad is ever gonna happen to you” ... just RUN!! He said this to Sam in S1 and things just unraveled fast for poor Sam. I dont think there are many bad things LEFT that haven't happened to Sam, and we still have at least 2 more seasons to go!!!  To me, Sam is the most beautiful, kind, selfless, brave character ever. Yet, he can be a little selfish on occasion, but if you needed any of the duct tape and safety pins that hold him together, he wouldnt think twice about giivng them to you. He is scared fairly often, but it’s never stopped him from facing any big bad monster life could hand him.Season 10 was definitely not his most attractive season (that hair?? WHAT??) and if you piss him off, he can viciously sting with his words at the very least, or be brutally lethal with his hands when need be. He is a full on nerd, but not the least bit pretentious about it. He doesnt think he is better than anyone, and maybe even not as good as most. He is brilliant, but wont ever make you feel stupid. He is the sweetest, kindest gentleman you’ll ever meet, but 100% badass as well. But most of all. he loves Dean with everything in his life. He will never leave him (again) for anyone. If he ever finds a significant other, they will have to accept him and Dean as One person. Package deal and thats it.  To me, Dean is a rock. He rarely ever changes, This isn’t a bad thing. This compliments Sam, who is ever changing. Dean doesn’t live inside his head. He expresses his feelings more physically than with words, though he isnt one to mince words if you need to hear it. He’s emotional, not afraid to cry, but maybe afraid of who he allows to see it. He’s not perfect, he has made a lot of poor choices for himself and for Sam as well, but never with any ill intent (other than when influenced by a Supernatural force) He is a sweetheart, who unfortunately carries too much baggage. In Regarding Dean I feel like I met the REAL Dean that is lost under decades of pain, lossm and never ending violence. He can piss me off big time, but I forgive him because Sam does, and the most important thing in his world is Sam. There is nothing he wouldnt do, nor lines he wouldnt cross for Sam, and I believe he would give Sam anything in his power if Sam would simply ask.  What I think of the side characters  Cas, Crowley, Rowena, Bobby, etc.. all good characters who bring a lot of interest to the show, but none are strong enough characters to have their own storylines apart from Sam and Dean. Their side stories arent very interesting. I would watch a show that was only Sam and Dean (which is what I prefer) but I wouldnt watch a show that was only Cas or Crowley or whomever. They should support Sam and Dean and thats it, in my opinion.

What I have learned about the Fandom... Supernatural is the Holy Reaches of Heaven to them and they are Religions. Separate groups of individuals, expressing their love for the show and the characters in different ways. Some SPN religions are open and accepting, and some are vicious and hateful. Everyone gets different things from different parts of the series, but some of these religions, think their thoughts are the best and only True Canon even when sometimes, their thoughts are not canon at all. There are some fun, silly, kind loving fans in the SPN Family, and I have met a few, but Ive also seen some unnecessarily hatefull, mean spirited individuals who I cant consider family. SPN belongs to me, and it belongs to you. Take from it what you take from it... blog your blogs, go meta crazy, ship your ships, and write the shit out of fan fic... but please dont belittle and berate those who think differently. It is a ficitonal show, no one is going to go to Hell or be arrested for their views on it. If you don’t like it, dont watch it, but let those who do still love it, like myself, enjoy it while they can. Don’t go trying to hurt our feelings with “It should end!!” because someday it will, we know this, but we want it to live on for as long as J2 are happy to do it, and even then, it’s gonna hurt like the death of a loved one to see it go, so try to be more considerate okay? If you stayed to read ALL of this, You are precious to me :) and thank you!

[casffeine-blog]

misc. 008 / WHEN IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY.

open when... it’s our anniversary!

i think by the number you should be able to tell what this is for. i’d put this under an open when, except i just felt like it. heheh. it’s the eighth miscellaneous letter i’m writing for you, and this is to be read on the eighth of the eighth month. at this point, isn’t casphanie synonymous with infinity? i’ll be taking a long way down memory lane for this, so expect a long long post ahead! ( maybe i’ll even divide it into two parts, who knows. ) without further ado, here’s my version of the casphanie story! disclaimer note, this account only has some of what i consider the ~* iconic *~ moments, and may be incomplete! feel free to tell me if you want anything added! heh. ( dates are based on my timezone! )

on july 30th, 2016, i came on to a conversation where you jokingly say you’re open to a polyamorous relationship. you should be taking note that this was just a day or two after we met, so i was not fully aware of who you are and what your views are! i wasn’t about to be judgmental about a man who i might or might not be crushing on! so i asked, to confirm, whether or not dating you meant having to share and be shared. you held me possessively in response ( isn’t it cute how you’d react the same way if i asked you this even now? ) and i asked you what dating you meant. 

"i want to write about you, but how could any combination of the 26 letters really accurately describe the ethereal being that is you. but god- i would spend my time writing poems about the crinkle by your eyes as you smile, or the way you hold my hand is one of my frames of reference. i suppose dating me isn’t a simple equation but i want you to know that your smile is like sunshine to me and i savor each moment we spend together because there’s just something about you- i can’t fully explain. but for some reason, i want to hold you, and take care of you.” 

on july 31st, 2016, you were the first to wish me a happy birthday! you’ve referred to me as your princess even before we got together, and though the nickname still does make me blush up to this day, you should be able to tell why i was so convinced you were a flirt! not only did you claim me, you even referred to me as royalty. call me easy, but anyone would fall for a cheesy and great smelling man who calls them a princess!! you couldn’t even tell me you loved me, yet, and only told me you adored me. i remembered vividly waking up to a bouquet of beautiful pink roses, together with a glass of coffee and some very cute ( and very delicious ) cupcakes!

“happiest birthday, my princess! 21 years old and kicking ass, heh. i adore you, and wish you an opulent year ahead of happiness and love, and home. i’ll make sure of it! let’s celebrate. p.s. my heart is full of love for you.”

on august 1st, 2016, you accused me of liking you! this is one of the most adorable conversations i can recall us having! i couldn’t admit to liking you just yet, but you were already so sure about it, pffft. 

- “cheeseball cheeseball cheeseball.” - “you like cheese!!!” - “i do!! a whole lot!!” - “and you like me!” - “. . . . . well.” - “you . . . more than like me.” - “isn’t that you towards me. pft.” - “then how do you feel about me?” - “a lot of emotions at once! it’s a cozy balance of relief, happiness, excitement and elation! i thought i told you this.” - “ngh, yes. thank you, baby.” - “why the sudden thank you? aw.” - “because i’m happy that you feel the same way, ehe.” - “what did i do to deserve you again?” - “you’re being yourself, that’s all you have to do.”

on august 4th, 2016, i made a kakao account for you! eheh. your first message to me was asking whether or not i was the person you were looking for, eheh, and i responded by asking who you were in return!

“OH. WELL I’M YOUR OPPA AND YOUR CAS AND JUST GENERALLY YOURS!”

on august 7th, 2016, we used our first couple dp! and we’ve been using couple dp’s since then, haven’t we?

> feel free to redirect yourself! <

on august 8th, 2016, you became mine as i became yours, also the first time you’ve directly told me that you loved me instead of adoring me, yes yes? hehe. thank you, sweetheart, for making me the happiest ever since. ♡

“my heart beat is a song about you, and i’m just following the music. your hands in mine is my frame of reference. the best of you, the worst of you; i choose both. i am only yours, and i will always be yours. i love you.

truth be told, it’s taken me hours to finish this letter. perhaps it’s the nerves, or the anticipation? no matter what it is, my heart is racing as i type all of this down.

usually, words are my forte. i love writing and poetry but for some reason my mind is spinning so fast that i can’t formulate the sentences; there are so many thoughts in my head, but they’re all about you.

about your smile, and laugh, and the way you look so beautiful naturally as you sleep; how you just fit perfectly in my arms, and how we kiss like we have all the time in the world. i see forever with you, stephanie. it’s scary to say so but god- you make me brave. you are worth all the risks.

i really am so in love with you.

i love coming home to you, and falling asleep with you, and waking up with you in my arms. i adore the way you smile, and laugh, and hold my hand. and i can’t get enough of our playful arguments, and all the cuddles in between.

i love you, stephanie. and i’m asking you to be mine, officially; only mine as i am only yours.”

on august 11th, 2016, we had our first movie date! high school musical 3, yes yes? and that was only the beginning of our many movie dates! thank you for singing along with me and letting me hide in your arms whenever i get all sad or scared, hn. 

> feel free to redirect yourself! <

on august 13th, 2016, we got ourselves our first pup! i remember not being home with you during the entire adoption process, and the story of how flynn was the only one left still makes me sniffle, but i’m glad we got our second pup together! flynn’s presence not only makes me one of the happiest, because he’s so so adorable hn, but is only a blessing to the both of us, isn’t he? whenever one of us isn’t around for the other, we always have an accountable pup to cheer us up! 

- “COME HOME SOON, HE’S BEEN PAWING AT MY CHEST- AND YET SO SHY.” - “ARE YOU TREATING MY BABY WELL.” - “HE’S ALSO MY BABY, HUSH. AND YES, OF COURSE.” - “WHY ARE WE CONSTANTLY ARGUING ABOUT OWNERSHIP.” - “I’M NOT ARGUING. I’M SAYING HE’S OURS.”

on december 8th, 2016, we reached our fourth month together! now, i’d put every monthsary we’ve had here, except, like i always mention, everyday feels like an anniversary with you! the fourth would probably be the one put up here because it’s on december, also the month of our first christmas together! i find it extremely amusing and interesting how you still sound the same whenever you talk to me, despite this being four months ago! just shows how little you’ve changed, right? still the same person i fell for, and am constantly falling for. you were already referring to be as your future wife though, ehe ~*

“you told me that every day feels like a monthsary, that each day is a celebration of this love. and i couldn’t agree more. however, this is a special day! and you always, always deserve the best, my love. on the night we met, i already saw how the moonlight kissed your skin and i had realized clearly, that i am meant to do the same. you are the weirdest person i have ever met and i really love that about you, y’know? you’re SO DORKY. and you’re my dork. i would go on my knees and whisper hymns to your skin, not because you are a holy temple. but because you’re you. i have honestly never felt this secure. my past self was always so doubtful but then i met you and you- you keep me safe. this isn’t much, but i really hope this makes you smile, baby! i still have my christmas gift to you, hehe. to my stephanie, my princess, my mochi bun, my baby (future) wife. happy four months! forever to go.”

on april 8th, 2017, you gave me one of my biggest moments of disbelief and laughter! this day also made me realize just how much and why you enjoy naked cuddles. pfffft. also, it was our 8th monthsary! 8 was always my favorite number, and you’re giving me more reasons to love it. hn. award of the most extra hubby goes to you!

“topic proposal: why steph should let me nuzzle her boobs i. in regards to our eighth monthsary      a. to celebrate our eighth month, it is only fitting that you allow me to nuzzle your boobs in the process.      b. it complements the cuddles we’ll have tonight, considering that we’ll most likely be:           1. naked as we cuddle           2. more sentimental (because our celebration will heighten our emotions)           3. in a teasing mood ii. to enhance my motivation      a. your boobs are divine           1. because of this, being able to nuzzle my face against them will somehow bless me with the capacity to finish all the work i need to do           2. i will worship and adore them, and kiss them as i should. hehe.      b. with my motivation enhanced further, this guarantees more overall productivity. iii. how this benefits you as well      a. i will do my best in ensuring it is a pleasurable experience for the both of us           1. being aware of how your body reacts to stimula, i will use my hands, lips and tongue to make you feel good           2. if we were to cuddle naked, even more so      b. i will be giving you even more kishes in compensation of your permission.”

on may 25th, 2017, the butterflies in my stomach were exercising to their extreme! this is the day i woke up as your girlfriend, and went to sleep as your wife. the day i got to see my beloved in a tux looking as dashing as ever. the day the ring on my finger first settled in. the day it was okay for me to be the center of attention. the day i allowed you to keep staring. the day of many magical moments! thank you for making me the even happier than happiest, my darling. thank you for letting me be the privileged one to receive your beautifully written vows. 

“here’s to my stephanie; my best friend, my darling, my princess, the love of my life, my soulmate, my everything, and soon- my wife. where to even begin, really. you often call me a poet, but you’re the one who can make any word sound so beautiful that you leave me speechless.

i remember the first night we met. we started off talking about our similar interests: from greek mythology to oriental food and comic books. it was so mundane yet little did we know that this instant connection we had grew into so much more. suddenly, i couldn’t help but keep thinking of you, but keep talking to you. perhaps it wasn’t love at first sight, but in just one night, i already knew you’d be important to me.

it was scary at first. my past relationships didn’t really end that nicely and things like those leave scars and i honestly was thinking no relationship i’d get in would work out; that it would always end with broken vases and abandon. but you appeared and i can’t describe it but you began to change my mind and my heart little by little. how else can i say it but that, whenever i was going to see you, i felt like i was going home. i’ve never felt as safe and as secure until you entered my life, sweetheart. you show me miracles every single day. 

you let me into your heart, and always make me feel loved in return, just as much as i love you. i’ve never had that, and it makes me realize that we must have met at that time in our lives because we were finally ready for the real thing, y’know? that we had to go through all those challenges so we know how to love when the real thing happens. we really are each other’s right person, baby. there is no doubt in my mind, there never has been, when it comes to you.

i promise to take care of you, to always love you and keep you safe. i have once felt like each thing i’d hold would break but you let yourself be vulnerable in my hands, you always trust me and i will always keep this trust. let’s continue building this home together.

i promise to love you when you are happy, and when you are sad. when you are in perfect health, and when you are sick. from this moment until we meet again in another universe, and onwards from then.

i promise to love you even when you don’t feel like you can love yourself. i promise to love you even more when that happens. i will pick up any broken piece and we’ll put it all back together. no love is perfect, but that is why i admire it. people are messy, and love is messy. but it is love that makes us see that it will always be worth it.

you are worth everything, my baby. i cannot give you the world, but i am giving you everything of me. i am all yours, my love. infinitely. i am so very in love with you, and i cannot wait to finally become your husband.”

this may not be what you expected for an anniversary gift, but i thought it would be adorable to remind you of some of the moments of our relationship that makes me really really think about how lucky i got with you! happy anniversary, my love, my best friend, my darling, my sweetest, my soulmate, my husband, my life! here’s to many many more anniversaries ahead of us, yes yes? more shared moments, more christmas’ and halloween’s! new year’s and even valentine’s! you make me look forward towards the future, you always have. we’re slowly accomplishing an idea we talked about almost a year ago about traveling around the world together, and i can’t wait to visit the most beautiful places with the most beautiful person. i love you!