#SORRY I COULDN'T INCLUDE MORE OF RIDLEY | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

casspurrjoybell-25 · 4 months ago

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Cold as Ice - Chapter 32 - Part 1

*Warning - Adult Content*

Landon Reilly

If I knew that Coach Foreman was going to have me rooming with Cooper for our away game, I would have faked an illness or something to get out of it but since I didn't know that beforehand, I was stuck here and sharing a small space with someone I absolutely loathed.

Coach didn't know what he had done when he made this rooming arrangement because there was a chance Cooper wouldn't make it out of here alive if he decided to push me.

I was dreading having to go back to the room.

Once the game finished, I took my time getting out of my gear and heading to the showers but Coach was rushing us, seeming to be in a bad mood even though we won our game.

I sat on the bus with Rojas, putting my headphones in and ignoring everyone around me.

Rojas had actual friends on the team but he always insisted on sitting with me.

He just waned me to feel included and he didn't understand that sometimes I just wanted to be left alone.

I couldn't let myself get too annoyed at him.

He was the only one on the team that I really talked to.

When I got back to the hotel room, it was empty, no sign of Cooper.

I flipped the light on and put my stuff down next to my bed.

As if sensing that I had just gotten to the room, I got a text from Wren.

To: Landon Reilly [Don't forget to check the bed for bed bugs.] From: Wren Ridley

To Wren Ridley [Already did.] From: Landon Reilly

To: Landon Reilly [Did you pull up the sheets and check the seams of the mattress? yes dad You can call me Daddy if you're into that.] From: Wren Ridley

My face flushed as I read his text and I let out a short laugh.

To Wren Ridley [You wish.] From: Landon Reilly

Wren had been texting me more than usual since I left for the weekend.

He missed me, though he would never admit it and I wouldn't mention it because I was afraid that if I did, the texts would stop.

I would need his presence if I were to get through this night in the same room as Cooper.

A few moments later, the door opened and Cooper walked into the room.

He didn't even look my way as he set his bags down and went into the bathroom.

Good.

The least amount of interaction the two of us had the better.

When he was done in the bathroom, I went in to get ready for bed, the two of us sidestepping each other so that we wouldn't make contact.

Cooper finally spoke up when I was pulling back the covers to get into bed.

"So..." Cooper trailed.

I looked back at him briefly before getting into bed.

"We don't need to speak," I said, moving to turn off the lamp on my side of the room.

"This feels kinda awkward, man," Cooper said.

I scoffed, not even bothering to respond.

It was his fault if he felt awkward.

He was the one who forced himself on me, it was him who got all of his friends to gang up on me.

It had everything to do with him and nothing to do with me.

People like him had a hard time not being liked, so they would do anything to gain the favor of the many even if they had to step on the few to get there.

People like me didn't care about being liked.

He couldn't stand that.

"I just wanna say... I'm... you know," he started.

"I'm sorry about what happened. I've been feeling kinda guilty about it."

Again, I didn't respond.

He might have felt guilty but it didn't matter.

He would still step on me for the favor of his friends.

It wouldn't change the fact that he kissed me without my consent but was I really any different than Cooper?

I felt guilty over everything I had done to Elijah but that guilt wouldn't make it all go away.

I still did those things, still hurt him and he had to live with that hurt forever, even if he moved on and forgave me.

It was the same with my father.

If he ever felt remorse for everything he had done to me, would it change anything?

It wouldn't, I knew it wouldn't but he would never feel guilty or ask for my forgiveness.

Not the way I craved Elijah's forgiveness.

So maybe my father was a different story.

He was a vile man who hurt his children because he wanted them to be his perfect creations like he was God or something.

I hurt Elijah because of that man because he made me hate myself, hate Elijah and maybe Cooper was just like me in a way.

Maybe he had his own self hatred that caused him to hurt others the way I did in the past and maybe if he wanted forgiveness, the same way I did, I should give that to him.

"I'm also feeling guilty because I may have told the guys about what happened but that you were the one who came onto me," Cooper added with a sheepish look, his eyes cast downward like he couldn't bear to see the look on my face at his confession.

My head snapped toward him and I was seeing red as I stared at him with a look of anger and disgust.

All thoughts of forgiveness for him were thrown out the window at that moment.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" I snapped.

He looked over at me, his face red with embarrassment.

"They were starting to ask me why I suddenly had a problem with you," he explained.

"It was easier to tell them that you had done something to me than it was to admit I was embarrassed about what I did to you."

I was beyond livid.

I could barely think and I couldn't remember the last time I had felt this angry.

I surprised even myself at the restraint I showed by not going over there and punching Cooper in the face.

It seemed like he expected me to by the way he was looking at me.

I shoved my pillow over my face and let out a strangled yell to release some anger.

My hands were in fists, begging me to let them hit something but I held back and took deep breaths.

"Dude, I'm sorry," Cooper said.

"Hit me or something if it's going to make you feel better."

I threw the pillow down on the bed and turned to glare at him.

"If you want to stop feeling guilty, then tell your friends the truth and keep my name out of your fucking mouth for the rest of your life."

I couldn't even look at him anymore, so I turned to face away from him and willed myself into sleep.

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