#SLURPOS HIM

[xellandria]

70 #26, Alliance #16, Priest #3. What a great ding screenshot ;P

Uma's been sitting at 68 for a while, because a guildmate thought that you could tame Slurpo(, the Incredible Snail) at 70 if a level 68 summoned it. I was dubious because that's not how mob scaling works, but was willing to try it out for him. A different guildie (who is also infatuated with Slurpo, who is the tenacity pet I most often have out in our raids) was able to try it out and we did in fact confirm that it's not possible, so I was able to safely level her the last two levels. Which I still didn't do for a couple weeks because... I dunno. But she's there now, so there's that! Bonus: she already has the Fields of Ferocity chain done, so if that WQ procs a gold reward next week (when the Dreamsurge is in the Plains), I will be rolling in the dough.

(For a brief period of time at the start of Dragonflight, mob scaling lagged behind your character level a little bit, and as a result there would be periods of time after you leveled where rare elites would be your level instead of two levels above you. I picked up both Slurpo and the Forgotten Gryphon on my main while I was leveling, shortly after which the mob scaling was changed so that they always stayed two levels above you, regardless of when you leveled. This puts Slurpo out of reach of hunters who didn't pick him up in the first week or so until the next expansion comes out and you can hit level 72; there are other blue lava snails available for taming but Slurpo keeps his name and you can't exactly rename one of the other lava snails "Slurpo, the Incredible Snail" lol. I've only seen a couple other folks with a "genuine" Slurpo, though admittedly I rarely have him out while idling in Valdrakken since a ferocity pet is much better for world content and a cunning pet has its uses when running old stuff.)

[cultofthepigeon]

the first person i slurpped wa sa shitty landlord of course

[vaultmedia]

Herbo Likes To Slurpo? Chiraq Rapper Confirms Whether Or Not He’s A Messy Mouf Mugger

G Herbo Denies Being Gay After Photo Goes Viral Herbo likes to slurpo? Chicago rapper G Herbo has come out to deny internet rumors regarding a scandalous photo claiming to be of him. The ‘Get 2 Bussin’ MC has been http://dlvr.it/NKx8pV

[cultofthepigeon]

i forgot i never gave my final score of how good a vampire Slurpo/Reid is

Reid

Drama: 13/10 Five points right out he gate for “what is life but death pending” and another two for killing your sister and attempting suicide ten minutes apart. Ability to kill close friends and colleagues adds half a point while the drama over it all adds another half. Time period alone would add another. Plus four points for the four separate endings, all of them over the top and unnecessary. 3 bonus points in this category.

Badassery: 5/10 Not more so than the average vampire. Medical prowess and style lose points due to west end upbringing. Ability to pic off prostitutes and the poor also diminishes badass levels

Aesthetic: 8/10 Long coat and running around using a scythe or bone saw to kill people was already pretty peak. But working around old timey nurses in a hospital and injecting your own ass self with a needle mid fight ups the ante. Blood magic turning into shadows certainly added to it

Homoeroticism: 7/10 Three points for that time he made a dude get on his knees before drinking his blood and another three for spitting his blood into a dudes mouth while calling it a kiss. Half a point for each fanboy falling over themselves to adore Reid at every turn.

Final Score: 33/40 A good vampire with the makings of greatness in him, if not for the constraints of the game itself

[cultofthepigeon]

Slurpo on the other hand

Drama: 16/10 starts out with the same score as Reid but with the added bonus of wanting to fight for the working class and wiping out half the West End just to prove it. Gave his entire family fortune to the butler because he’s THAT dedicated.

Badassery: 7/10 His willingness to put himself on the physical and moral front lines for the proletariat makes him braver than any US marine.

Aesthetic: 10/10 I know the only difference between him and Reid is his pink bendy straw which he carries on him at all time. But it really does make the difference as far as character design goes.

Homoeroticism: 10/10 Some say the hour long unskippable sex scene with Ichabod Throgmorten was necessary and “kinda gay”.But I point to the hour long unskippable sex scene where Giselle pegs him to let out her frustrations over capitalist society as proof of Slurpo’s bisexuality. Regardless, the ability to seduce and go on a date with 12 different men is and 10 different women was, quite honestly, groundbreaking. Slurpo truly is the Bisexual Icon we deserve to have in our world.

Final Score: 43/40 The Perfect Vampire.