#Roman's got a lot of mixed feelings when it comes to Sylvia because this man is so emotionally stunted | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

princessofthedarkrealm · 7 years ago

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Queen of Ash and Dust- An IT/Dark Tower crossover- Chapter 16

Knock, knock

You opened your eyes. You thought you had heard something.

Knock, knock.

You threw back your covers. Someone was at the door. The knock was soft. It had to have been Roland or Allie. You were halfway across the room when you saw something on top of the little dresser next to the door. Three somethings actually—some kind of small vial, what looked like either a choker or necklace, and a piece of paper with some writing on it.

Knock, knock.

“Just a second,” you called.

You opened the top drawer and hastily stuck the items inside. The vial contained something that looked suspiciously like blood. And a necklace too? There were only two people who could have sent them to you. And you didn’t feel like thinking about either one of them. You unlocked the door and threw it open. Roland was standing there. He held one of his guns, his arm hanging slack.

You glanced from his gun to him. “What’s wrong?”

“May I come in?”

“Yeah. Sure.” You moved aside for him to enter. “What’s up?”

“I tried to come in last night. The door was locked. I knocked but you didn’t answer.”

Your brow knit. “Huh? You’d think I would have heard that. I heard it just now.”

Now it was Roland’s turn to frown. “You didn’t have any…problems, did you?”

“Oh no.” You shook your head. “I just…came in my room and got ready for bed.”

You felt bad lying to him. But there was no way you could tell him about Walter.

“What happened last night?”

“I had to scare him off. Are you sure you were alright by yourself?”

You tilted your head at him. “Roland…I’m fine. Really.”

Actually you felt more than fine. You felt relaxed. Even your stomach wasn’t bothering you.

Roland squinted at you and tilted his head sideways. “What is that?” He pointed at your neck.

“What?”

“There’s a dark red mark the side of your neck.”

Your eyes grew wide. Your stomach knotted up. Walter must have left you a hickie.

“It’s uh…I don’t know. Maybe something bit me.”

You went to the chest at the foot of your bed. Your hands went to pick up your shirt, but you stopped. You slowly picked it up. Then the pants.

Your clothes were completely clean. You let out a heavy sigh. Walter was really going out of his way to make you comfortable. Literally.

You glanced over at your empty bed. You imagined Roman laying there on his side, patting the spot next to you. How badly you missed being in your husband’s arms.

“I need to find Roman.”

“I’m sure he’ll come back. He always does.”

You spun around at the bitterness in Roland’s voice. “No. I need to find him. Things are getting out of hand. Or they’re about to.”

Roland narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean? Are you talking about Sylvia?”

“I’m talking about the fact that everyone here around me is getting super protective all of a sudden. First Roman asked you to lock me in my room and then-”

You scowled. How could you have done that to Roman? Even though it had just been a kiss, more than that, you had to remind yourself. In a way, Walter had been intimate with you. And not only had you let him, but you had made the first move.

“Y/N…”

Roland’s voice snapped you out of your reverie.

“I know something’s bothering you. I wish you would tell me.”

You lowered your gaze. “There’s a lot I wish I could tell you, Roland,” you answered quietly. “But I just think it would hurt things more than anything. I know they haven’t helped when it comes to Roman.”

“But I’m not Roman. I’m here.”

You glanced up at him from under your eyelashes and gave him a small smile. “I know. And I appreciate that. More than you’ll ever know.”

Roland put out his arms and you stepped into his embrace without hesitation. The two of you stood like that for a minute and you had no desire to step out of his protective, supportive warmth. When you broke apart, you couldn’t help but notice the caring, desperate look in Roland’s eyes. He reached up to caress you cheek. Slowly, he leaned down towards you.

Your lips parted. Was he about to kiss you? You really didn’t want him to, but you were afraid to move. You heard footsteps in the doorway and you and Roland both glanced up.

Roman stood there, his eyes murderous. “Well I guess three really is a crowd. Or more like four in your case.”

He turned and disappeared from view.

“Roman!” you called. You followed him down the hall. “Roman, please.” He didn’t respond. You followed him down the stairs. “Roman, will you please just listen? It’s not what it looks like.”

He rounded on you. “You seriously cannot wait for me to leave, can you?”

“What in the hell are you talking about? We were just hugging!”

“And did you just hug the sorcerer last night? When he came into your room?”

Your mouth fell open. “Roland said he scared you away.”

“Yeah well I came back. Too bad I missed the show.”

He turned away from you again and stalked across the main room. There was no way you were letting him leave again.

“Roman, goddamn it, I never cheated on you. Walter came to me but nothing happened. We didn’t…Goddamnit, Roman, listen to me!”

He stopped in the middle of the room.

“I never cheated on you. Not with Roland. Or Walter. Nobody.” You heard heavy footsteps coming down the stairs. It looked like Roland was going to get an earful too.

Roman still didn’t look at you. When he spoke, his voice sounded pained. “I know your smell, kitten. When you mate…I know your smell. I smelled it last night…And I smelled him.” He turned sideways. “Are you still mine?”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. How could he even ask that? He finally turned. His face looked haggard, worn. He slowly approached you.

“Answer me, Y/N.” Finally he stopped right in front of you. “Are you still mine? Are you still my wife?”

You looked him square in the eye and said without hesitation, “Yes. I did not sleep with Walter.”

Roman’s jaw muscle twitched. “But you did do something with him.”

His voice was low, dangerous.

You swallowed. “Yes.”

“Did he put his hands on you?”

“Not inappropriately.”

It was like in a court room with everyone waiting for the judge to give his final verdict.

“His mouth?”

The gavel fell.

“Yes.”

“And you let him?”

Your body felt light, like she were standing outside of yourself, watching the whole thing. You saw it flash through your mind—Walter’s mouth on your breast, your hand cupping his head.

You let out a shaky breath. “Yes.”

Roman nodded. You could only imagine what he was thinking right now.

“It was a kiss, Roman. It was a goddamn kiss. You fucking left me. Again. Over things that hadn’t been my fault.”

“You sure didn’t mourn for too long.”

“You son of a bitch.” You shook your head, anger heating your blood.

Roman’s head shot up.

“You left me, Roman. I was on the floor. I was literally on the floor. You and Roland had both left me.” You paused. “You could have both killed each other. For all I knew I was about to lose everything. I wanted to die. I literally wanted to die.” Another pause. “I felt someone pick me up. I didn’t even see who it was. They could have carried me off for all I knew and I wouldn’t even have had an ounce of strength to stop them, because I did not care anymore!” You were almost hollering now. “Walter brought me in my room. He laid me on my bed. My lamp came on. I told him to leave. I told him to turn the light back off and leave.”

“But he didn’t,” Roman said flatly.

“Hmph. You think it was that easy? He told me that I couldn’t go to bed in my dirty clothes and, oh my God, that pissed me off so much! I told him that I didn’t want him! And then he…he made a deal with me. That if I let him undress me, that he would turn off the light and leave. So he turned off the light. And then I…I let him take my shirt off. But he didn’t touch me. At all. But I…”

You stopped. You saw Roland standing there out of the corner of your eye. Roman leaned forward and placed his hands flat on the table in front of him.

“Then what happened?” he asked.

Your posture drooped. One shoulder of your night gown fell and you didn’t even bother to adjust it. “I didn’t have a reason to care anymore. I still don’t know if I do,” you said in a small voice. “But he was there. He was actually trying to take care of me.” Your voice broke. Your throat tightened.

This wasn’t fair. None of this was. You and Roman were supposed to be happy. You were supposed to be going on dates, to be holding hands and laughing, cuddling and making love. But that was all over now. And something inside your soul finally broke.

Your voice was hollow as you spoke. “I kissed him. I kissed Walter.”

Roman let his head fall. His fingers arched. You could see his nails dig into the wood. “He killed our baby. He tricked you into mating with him.”

“I know that! Goddamn it, Roman, you think I don’t know that?!”

Roman threw his gaze at you. There was just a hint of yellow in his green eyes. “You did this to me? To get back at me, is that it?”

You took a step back from him. “No. Roman, that was not it at all.”

“Then what? I know I haven’t been here for you. And I’m sorry if I have trouble handling all this and don’t have a home to go back to any more when things get rough.”

“Then make me your home.” You pointed to yourself. “Make me your safe haven. That’s what marriage is supposed to be, Roman. For better or for worse. In sickness and in health. I know we never took any vows, but that is how I feel. I never stopped loving you. I never stopped wanting you. I never stopped believing in US!”

The look on Roman’s face was a mix of anger and guilt. And hurt. But you weren’t finished yet. He had hurt you way too much.

“You kidnapped my brother. He is just a toddler. And you kidnapped Georgie. You tried to kill my co-actor so that you could be in my play. You got me pregnant with a monster!”

Roman ran a hand through his hair. He never responded the whole time.

“Maybe one day a man will love me that I don’t have to worry about those things with. But not today.” You copied his stance, hands flat on the table, and leaned in towards him. “I only…wanted…you. We are mated, Roman. I chose that. I chose you. Coming to another dimension has not changed that. Having our link broken has not changed that. And Walter…he will never change that. So if anyone has changed us…then it is you.” Your stomach growled. You stood. “I am going to get dressed. I want you to think about everything I have just told you.”

You turned around and froze. Allie was standing next to Roland, her arms crossed over her chest and a deep frown on her face. Roland’s gaze landed on you and the sorrow you saw in his eyes almost broke your heart. You calmly walked past him, trying to keep a straight face the whole time. You had laid all your cards on the table. The rest was in Roman’s hands now. You climbed the stairs and begrudgingly went back to your room.

You had now hurt the two men you cared for the most. Part of you dreaded going back downstairs. What if they were both gone, for good this time? Would you call on Walter one more time and take him up on his offer to get you out of there? Walter! You remembered the items in the drawer. You quickly locked your door and pulled the top drawer of the dresser open. They were still there. You took a deep breath and lifted out the necklace first. It was a star inlaid with diamonds on a black cord. It looked like the North Star. You ran your thumb along the cord. It felt like silk. There was a clasp on the end of it. You carefully laid it on the top of the dresser. Next came the vial. It was a little taller than the palm of your hand. You opened it and brought it to your nose and inhaled.

“Fuck,” you gasped.

Definitely blood. You placed that on the dresser top too. You took a deep breath and held it as you picked up the note. You quickly glanced at the bottom it. Walter’s name stared up at you. You let your breath out.

“Lord Jesus Christ,” you said tartly.

You dropped your hand to your side and went sat on your bed. You tucked your legs up under you and read.

The North Star is constant and unwavering. It is the only thing in the night sky that does not move. Remember that the next time you feel lost. Follow the star…and you will find your destiny.

Hmm. Follow the North Star? Was Walter trying to tell you where he was? But then he had to know that would lead Roland and Pennywise to him also. And wait a minute. Did that mean Walter was telling you that he was your destiny? Of course. He had told you that before. The night he had been waiting for you in your bedroom. You continued reading.

Yes, the blood is mine. Use it sparingly. It will help you with your condition. I have a project that I am working on right now that needs my utmost attention. I will not be able to come to you for a while, so do not call me unless it is absolutely urgent.

Wear the choker. Black looks good on you. And I know you think it feels good too.

Walter

Your stomach flip flopped at that last line. Your face grew hot. Feels good? Of course. He had to have been talking about last night. That he was the “black” that you thought felt good on you. Clever man. Devious, but clever. And there was something else about the letter that stuck out at you too. ‘The blood is mine’. That line was darker than the rest. Was it a code for something? Every section of the note had different meanings to it, but why give special attention to this one? You reread the line again. And then the two lines after that. He had mentioned your condition. You scowled at the letter. You had told Walter you hadn’t been feeling well, but condition? The blood is mine. Your heart started pounding faster than it already was. You knew why he made that line stand out above the rest. He was answering a question. A question you had had about your condition. The condition that was growing in your womb.

Walter’s unborn child.

***********

You trudged down the stairs. You had been in your room for longer than you had been expecting, but you had had a lot of thinking to do. To your surprise, Roman and Roland were both sitting, waiting for you. They both stood when you got down. Roman’s hands were in his pockets as he made his way to you.

“I thought you would have left again,” you said.

“There is nowhere else I want to be,” said Roman. “Nowhere else worth being.”

The corner of your mouth lifted. You glanced over at Roland. He gave you a nod. Apparently he felt the same. You let out a deep sigh.

Roman’s face turned into a scowl. “Where did you get the necklace?”

You handed him the note, then stood with your hands behind your back, not saying anything. Your face burned the whole time. You kept passing furtive glances at Roland and your blush deepened. You thought Roman was going to crumple up the note, but to your surprise, he handed it to Roland.

Roman glanced at you but then quickly looked away. You could tell he was trying to keep his face neutral. He went to cross his arms, but then seemed to change his mind and the put them back in his pockets.

“So you are with child.” Roland handed you back the note.

“You caught that too, huh?” You took the note back from him. You folded it up.

“His project? I don’t like the sound of that.” Roland crossed his arms across his chest and started pacing.

“I don’t like the sound of any of this,” you retorted, gesturing with your hand that held the note. “I can handle wearing the necklace, but the fact that he wants me to keep drinking his blood? That it will help with the baby? I didn’t even need to drink blood when I was pregnant for Eleanor.”

“Walter is a demon,” Roland said flatly.

“I know that. But so is Roman. You know what scares me though? Walter told me a while back that he killed Eleanor on purpose. What if he was afraid for me? If he is a demon, then he knows that my carrying Eleanor wouldn’t have been good for me after a while.”

“Of course he wants to take care of his own child,” Roman retorted.

“Exactly. But my thing is, if he didn’t want Eleanor to hurt me…”

“Then this child was an accident,” Roland finished for you.

“Exactly. Not even Walter was expecting me to get pregnant, you guys.”

“Y/N, what are you getting at?” Roman asked.

“What if my getting pregnant for him wasn’t an accident? In fact, what if getting pregnant for either of my children wasn’t an accident? I mean, think about it. Eleanor’s spirit is still in the Tower. And I can go to the Tower. Sooo…” You waved your hands about. Both men stared at you with questioning gazes.

You smiled. For the first time in days, you actually smiled. It was like everything finally made sense to you now. “What if I’m meant to be a guardian of the Tower?”

Roman stared at you as if you had just told him you and Walter were getting married.

“There were guardians at one time. The gunslingers. My people. We protected the Tower,” said Roland.

“I don’t think that’s the kind she’s talking about,” said Roman. “There are other guardians. Twelve of them. And they are all animals” He shook his head. “Kitten, I don’t think you know what you’re talking about.”

“I know exactly what I’m talking about, Roman. My children are the most important thing to me and the really messed up part is that it took for the person who has orchestrated all of this bullshit to make me realize that. If Walter destroys the Tower, none of this is going to matter anymore. I mean sure, you would probably be able to just go off and hibernate somewhere, but what about me? What about the child growing inside me? And what about Eleanor? What’s going to happen to her soul if the Tower is brought down?” You slowly closed the distance between you and Roman. “I know where I stand, Roman. I stand with my children…and I stand with the Tower.” You paused, trying to let what you had just told him sink in. “So what about you? Are you going to stand with your wife? Are you going to stand with your mate, Pennywise?”

The silence was almost palpable. Off in the distance, a rooster crowed.

“I was planning to bring you into hibernation with me…but it looks like that’s not going to happen now.” Roman tucked in his lips. He started nodding. “I stand with you,” he said softly, and then louder, “I stand with you, Y/N.”

Your face lit up. Roman pulled you into his embrace and you threw your arms around him. You were back. You and Roman were back together.

And no one was going to rip you apart this time.

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