#Riku is the reason i decided to grow my hair out when I was 13

[zeroth-writes]

Important Member -Riku-

masterlist | request

Prompt:  ‘ How about a Riku x reader one? In this, despite the reader not being a Keyblade user out of her friends, she still tries to contribute and do her best. She trains more fiercely than anyone else and even uses the training machine in the Garden of Assemblage, takes her studies seriously and tries to research ways on defeating the 13 darknesses, and tries to quickly and effectively master as many spells as possible. However, doing all of this has taken a deep strain on Reader’s health, causing her to grow pale, have bags under her eyes, lack of sleep, and not eating much. When Riku just happens to see her studying, that was when he saw her nose bleeding. He tries to help her but she insists she’s fine. Riku starts to yell at her and berate her, but that only raised reader’s stress level to the point where she passes out. Riku takes care of her and Reader is slightly paranoid that they may lose until Riku comforts her. ‘

Pairings: Riku x Reader

Summary:

Word Count: 766

Out of all your friend, you were the only one without a keyblade. You watched from the sideline as Sora, Riku and Kairi all summoned theirs. In the beginning they would tell you “Don’t worry, you’ll get yours soon.” As if it was some birthright. Over time though you knew you ever different. You wouldn’t get the feeling of summoning a keyblade for the first time, never have the realistic dream of becoming a master. Sometimes you’d accepted that, there were enough keyblade wielders to keep everyone safe. However other times you think you were holding your friends back. Think that they always had to keep an eye on you, make sure you weren’t doing anything stupid and getting yourself hurt.

You slowly began to accept that you’ll never wield a keyblade like your friends. Instead you helped them in other ways. Reading and practicing spells. Studying up on information about enemies. Over time you spent less time taking care of yourself and more time getting better. Instead of sleeping you’d read spell books in your room, saying you already ate when you were really gathering intel on enemies, spending too much time training and not properly resting.

Glancing at the clock you see 5:04 in bright red. You know you should go to bed. You told yourself you would get some sleep tonight. However seeing how little pages in your book you had left, you decided against it. You knew if you went to bed now you would forget everything you learned tonight. After stretching out your arms you quickly get back to your book, spending the next half hour engrossed in the words in an attempt to memorize all the given information. Throwing your head back you let out a groin of frustration. When you put your head back down you feel a wetness coming from your nose.  Reaching a hand up you let out a sigh when you see red on your finger. Quickly grabbing tissues you attempt to stop the bleeding

It wasn’t long after you hear knock on your door. You turn around to see it open and reveal the silver hair of Riku. Before he could see you, you quickly turn back forward in an attempt to hide your bloody nose. “You’re still up?” You could hear the worry in his voice. Knowing how you would sound, you only give him a small nod. After hearing your door close you let out a small breath thinking he was gone, until you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“You know I care about you right?” The sincerity in his voice was obvious. Not trusting your words you nod in response. “Then why won’t you let me help you.” You shrug off his hand and get up to move way from him. “Because I’m fine, I don’t need your help.” For a couple seconds you don’t hear anything. You hoped he would accept your half-ass reason and leave.

“Why do you continue to do this to yourself? You spend all night alone in your room doing whatever when you should be sleeping.” The more words Riku spoke the louder they got. As his words continues to process in your mind you can feel your chest tighten as it gets harder and harder to breath until everything went blank

When you wake up the first thing that registers in the familiar feeling of your bed sheets surrounding you. Enjoying the feeling you snuggle in closer. “I’m glad to see you awake.” You sit up at the voice coming from beside you. “I’m surprised you’re here.” You throw the blanket off you and pull your knees up to your chest. “Of course I’m here. You passed out, I’m not going to leave you alone on the floor. Please talk to me.”

“I just want to help. I know I can’t use a keyblade and I hate it! Everyone is training to become the best they can and I know I’ll never be that!” A single tear rolled down your cheek. Before you could wipe it, Riku was in front of you with one arm around you and the other on your cheek. “ You do help. Everything you do helps, From the intel to the spells and everything in between. However when you can barely keep your eyes open though..” He stopped talking as your nod of agreement got more noticeable. “I feel like if I stop then everything will be for nothing. That I’ll forget everything I learned, all my skills just gone.”

“With or without your knowledge, You’ll still matter to me.”

[aliceslantern]

Retribution, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 13

Newly a person again, Ienzo is weighed down by guilt and his humanity. He's prepared to do whatever it takes to atone... only to find unexpected solace in a familiar face. With more insight into the bonds between people than ever before, Ienzo reaches for a dangerous element from the past to help Kairi and Riku in their search for Sora. What is his life if it means saving another, brighter light?

Zemyx, background Sokai, post Re:Mind

Chapter summary:  Ienzo begins to have doubts about his conviction to save Sora, and tries to find its origin.

Read it on FF.net/AO3

---

“...Do you have a moment?”

Aeleus looked up from the puzzle he was working on. “I was looking for a way to fill my time,” he said. He gestured to the seat across from him.

He and Dilan shared common spaces in their apartment. The furniture was comfortable, broken in. Aeleus seemed to be growing some flowers and herbs in a small planter box; Ienzo went over to examine them. “It’s you that’s been working on the gardens,” he said, with realization.

“I like making things grow,” he said simply. He put another piece down onto the table in front of him. “What is it on your mind?”

“I suppose I wanted a more… objective opinion, on something.” Ienzo sat down. “Aeleus, has your heart ever told you with certainty to do something?”

He set aside his puzzle. He, too, looked odd without the frame of his uniform. “Why is it you ask?”

“I thought my heart was telling me I needed to save Sora, and do whatever it would take.” He touched his breastbone, which was still a bit too touchable despite all his attempts to eat enough. “But lately, I’ve had… doubts, in that conviction. Namely, that I am violating nature. And is that not what I’ve done before?”

“What we’ve done, you mean.” He sighed. “Tea?”

“...Please.”

A few minutes later Aeleus handed him a ceramic mug that smelled of jasmine. He sat on the couch across from Ienzo’s chair. “How do you feel when you think about it?” he asked.

“About what?”

“Doing this.”

“I’m afraid as of late my gut hasn’t been very reliable. The anxiety,” he explained, at Aeleus’s baffled expression. “Even with the medication I’ve been given, it’s hard to tell what is purely stress and what is a warning from myself. All it does… is make me feel sick. I…” He looked at his one hand, the veins visible in the early afternoon light. “I had thought at first that it would be worth it, to sacrifice myself for him. But this is bigger than just me. This is… Kairi, too.” He bit his lip. Aeleus’s expression was mostly stoic, aside from a quickly-masked flicker Ienzo thought was concern.

“You started to see yourself as having worth,” he said softly. “And now you have things to live for, aside from the guilt.”

“Well… yes. I wish to… be with Demyx, more than anything. But it goes and goes in circles, Aeleus.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Kairi feels this way for Sora. The thought of doing purely nothing when I can make change is…” Ienzo bit his lip. “It’s abundantly clear that our scientific research is getting nowhere and will get nowhere. It’s been almost a year. I--”

Aeleus stirred his tea. “Have you considered,” he began, “that perhaps this is not your responsibility? Sora made this choice knowing the price. He would not want you to risk yourself for him.”

“I… I know. But I… I owe him for… if not for the experiments, for what I explicitly asked for, none of this would have happened.”

“Xehanort manipulated you,” Aeleus pointed out. “You were… how old, Ienzo? Six, seven? He asked you to do that and made you think it was your idea.”

Ienzo was shaking. He could feel tears in his eyes. “And what of what I did after?”

“What of what I did? Of Ansem or Even or Demyx? We’ve all done awful things.” He reached over and squeezed Ienzo’s hand. “Ienzo. There are other ways of atoning.”

“But he’s lost,” he said. “Lost, and alone, and--”

“Sora will find his way home if he’s meant to. If that never happens… we must grieve, and move on, and stop trying to force the impossible. All that will do is hurt all involved. Don’t you think?”

The tears ran over.

“Whatever you decide, Ienzo, I will support you completely. But are you doing this to save Sora, or to save yourself?”

The realization was rattling him, yet it was so obvious. “I… I’m not sure.”

Aeleus handed him a cloth napkin for his face. “Think about it,” he said. “Though I must admit my bias and say… I don’t wish for you to leave this life. And perhaps that is selfish. I have so much to make up to you, Ienzo.”

He sniffled. “Like what?”

“If I had done a better job protecting you--”

“...I’d still be Zexion. That’s not necessarily a good thing. I just don’t want this suffering to be in vain.”

“It won’t be,” Aeleus said. “We’ll make sure of that.”

---

Every time Ienzo tried to think about it, it gave him such intense anxiety his heart would palpitate. He turned his focus instead to Demyx, to the bits of life that he wanted. Ienzo was by his side as he finally got his back taken care of, and the few days they spent together as Demyx rested were very nearly happy. Ienzo enjoyed the excuse to nurture him. He hadn’t realized just how much time they spent having some kind of sex until they temporarily couldn’t. All the more reason to encourage what was below that to grow.

(But wouldn’t that be sadistic, should he go through with this?)

Don’t think about that, Ienzo.

“I don’t know how you put up with this,” Ienzo said to Demyx. His bed was uncomfortable; even in the few minutes Ienzo had been lying next to him, his bones started to ache. He could feel the springs acutely.

“Eh, could be worse.” His hair was loose against the pillow, making him look like someone else. “What’s worse than the bed is having all this time to think. Can’t really play music when I’m supposed to be laying down. Which narrows my options.”

“...I don’t like thinking either.”

Demyx scoffed. “Aren’t you a scholar?”

“Yes, but lately my thoughts are so… messy.”

“Being human is a mess.”

“That is true, isn’t it?” He propped himself up on an elbow. “Messy… unexpected. Wrenching. Yet… I feel as though… I’m being offered choices for the first time in years.”

Demyx squeezed his hand. “I know what you mean.”

“You’re so different.”

“How so?”

“You care about things.”

“It’s… hard not to,” he said. “Doing what I do… I see the impacts of darkness. The pain in people’s eyes. I don’t know if I was just ignoring it before… or if I were too oblivious. I’m tired of being oblivious. Tired of being alone.”

“Is this what you want to do forever?”

“What, deliver packages?” he barked a laugh. “Hardly.”

“Then what do you want to do?”

Demyx looked up at the ceiling. “To be determined,” he said softly, with a shrug. “I used to live by the seat of my pants. But that just gives me anxiety now. Maybe…” He breathed for a moment. “My music helps me. If I could teach people… that might help them work through all this.”

“Would that make you happy? Helping people?”

“Maybe.” He sighed. “There’s another thing.”

“Like what?”

“I’ve been… trying to pick up some magic,” he admitted with a slight grimace, as though embarrassed. “White magic. I’m actually not that bad at it. What if I were to… use that to fix people?”

“That’s a hard calling.”

“I know. But… weirdly, I feel determined.” He turned his face back to Ienzo. “I think that’s your fault?”

He laughed a little. “What, I’ve instilled in you a work ethic?”

“More like…” He knotted his hands against his stomach. “Actually being attached to someone made me realize… I’ve been so selfish. And selfishness might not be part of… the real Demyx. Whoever that is.” A sigh. “I thought staying under the radar would keep me safe, but I’m not safe from the memories. Or from myself. If I want to actually enjoy life, I’m going to have to get my hands dirty.” He wrinkled his nose. “Instead of hiding or taking things away from people, if I give them… music, or help them heal… maybe I’ll help me heal too.”

“That’s very astute,” Ienzo said softly. He touched Demyx’s cheek, which was scratchy from a few days of stubble. “I often wonder… the same.”

“If helping people will fix you?”

“Yes. I think it may begin that process. But… who, and how?”

“Words,” he said. “You’re a storyteller.”

“I’m a scientist.”

“Your weapon wasn’t a beaker--it was a book,” Demyx pointed out. “What’s a memory if not a story about you?”

Ienzo felt something like a thrill. “That’s rather poetic. I suppose I could… tell the stories. About what we did. About how I feel. Maybe I can help them realize the narrative--the narrative of Xehanort. And help give it more than just a bittersweet ending.” He cocked his head. “How do you know how I feel about words?”

“I’ve read your reports,” Demyx said simply.

His eyebrows shot up.

Demyx pointed to the phone. “You forget I’m connected to the network too? I just… I dunno. Sue me for getting curious. The way you write… it’s much more alive than the way the others do. That, and… come on, Ienzo. You invented a way for people to share pictures--which are stories too.”

He blushed. “That was mostly for reconnaissance,” he admitted.

“Yet your first post was in and of itself… a story about your future. Stories can make or break a heart.”

“Yes,” he said softly. “The… future. I hope…” He trailed off. “The people we’ve hurt. Their stories are important. What they’ve witnessed. It could help them heal. I could… gather those stories. They deserve so much more of a voice than Xehanort.”

“So do we,” Demyx said.

He wasn’t sure why this felt like a revelation. “Aren’t we also perpetrators?”

“We want to do good. Helping one person won’t make up for the many people that… well, got hurt.” His eyes crinkled. “That’s not how things work. But to not do anything… is worse. Don’t forget he hurt us too. You and me could have been normal. You were a kid and I was an amnesiac. Do you think we would’ve chosen this life if we’d known?”

Ienzo blinked.

“Some things are our fault. But he was the one who pushed that out of us.”

“Demyx, you’re…” he shook his head. “Have you always been this wise?”

He laughed a little. “No.”

“I love you.” Ienzo leaned in and kissed him gently. “I’m so glad we… took this risk.”

“Yeah. Me too.”