#Riddle ''most predictable person ever'' wrote more deathswitch boys more at 11

[fountainpenguin]

"It's not that difficult to get your head around; you'll never meet another me..." (x)

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New Pixels Imperfect stuff today! || One-Shot

“There Are Many Benefits to Being Corporeal”

Read on AO3

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I am back on my “LazyBeans26 and PiglinMyNose are the same person on NameMC” propaganda… Sniff and Pig have infected my brain, so here’s a silly sickfic about a tired camera boy and his weird new friend who's just contracted "experiencing the horrors of being sentient" disease.

(First 1,000 words under the cut)

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When Jimmy and Scar asked if they could take turns possessing his vessel, LazyBeans26 didn't even hesitate. "Sounds like fun! I'm in." Why not? He's always down for a good time and he's not a square.

They tracked him to his studio apartment, 4th floor of the Raisin Tower. It's the Sun Ray Tower; nobody ever calls it that. Yeah, he's earned it; he's been around New Star Station a long time. It's a tiny place, but that just feels right, y'know? Must be his slime hybrid genes. Something about small, square spaces just feels right. And it's really not bad for a guy who's lived his whole life alone. He's not a builder; he hates doing interiors. This spot works just fine for him, even though Jimmy and Scar are bumping into each other in the kitchen space and they're so close to the bed, Scar could jab it with his cane.

"Are you sure?" Jimmy asks, tilting his head. Lazy's in front of his mirror in the skin change room, two bobby pins in his teeth as he ties back his hair. He clamps the pins to one side with his tongue.

"What d'you mean? Of course I'm sure. I've been thinking of changing my name, actually… It's about time I haul my butt across the station and hit up Etho for that anyway. He'll be much happier if we make it a two-fer. He'll get all huffy if it's just the name."

"Oh, really?" That's Scar. "What- What are you changing your name to?"

"Pig. Pig something… I haven't figured out the rest. I'm just kind of tired of going by 'Lazy.' It's kind of run its course for me. And '26' never really clicked as a name." Hair pinned back, he rinses his hands and splashes at his face. "I'll settle it on the way over. Shall we go?"

"Gods, you're so cool," Scar breathes, staring back at him. His mouth quirks up in a smile at one end in a very GoodTimesWithScar sort of way. "I told Jimmy you'd say no."

"How long have you known me, Scar?"

Scar giggles, waving a dismissive hand. "L-let's not get into it… You're very cool, Pig. And handsome!"

"I appreciate that, yeah."

They give him the rundown on the way downstairs. Jimmy and Scar are looking to team up, taking turns with a single vessel, in a painful attempt to defeat the ender dragon and free the End before the chaotic duo of Grian and Joel. "And every time we die," Jimmy explains, looping his arm around Lazy's neck, "then Scar and I switch off who's in control."

"So are we all in my vessel at once?" he asks, pushing open the apartment door. They step onto the street together. The road's all bedrock, accented in a sidewalk of deepslate half-slabs as far as the eye can see. As always, Lazy glances down the left-hand street. The slime soul spawner sits in a place of honor in the town center, wrapped in the roots of an enormous dark oak tree. It's custom made, entirely decorative… but it's fun to admire nonetheless. Should I say hi to Mum? I should swing by and say hi to Mum.

"No, no… We're taking turns." Jimmy pats Lazy on the shoulder as though in reassurance. He's not the most reassuring fella that there's ever been, but Lazy lets him anyway. "The thing is, we log off every time we die. You're the only one who'll know everything that's happening for the both of us. You're collecting all the footage and as a third party, you'll be there to hold us responsible so we can't do any cheaty cheating. We're in a race, after all. We're Minecraft professionals. Does that all sound good?"

"You want to know what I think?" Lazy peels away from Jimmy and starts walking backwards, thrusting his hands in his hoodie pockets. He sticks his tongue at Scar. "I think Mr. Good Times With Fey here is hoping to wheedle out another password for his collection!"

"Oh, no, no, no," Scar protests, eyes like innocent emerald blobs. He lifts his cane, shaking both hands back and forth. "I don't take those anymore… I'm an honest man, Mr. Pig!" He bops Lazy on the head with his cane, then scampers down the road with a hum. He catches the copper rod of a lamppost with the cane hook and swings around, over and over, just waiting for Lazy and Jimmy to catch up. Lazy rolls his eyes.

"You're getting a substitute password if we do this. And you can keep it."

Scar makes a face, but doesn't protest. One-times do nothing for me, goes unsaid. His cane clicks and scrapes as he twirls around the pole again. Then Scar drops back to the road and pauses to massage his foot.

Grian and Joel, apparently, will be inviting someone new to the station to play this little game. Lazy asks about that as he and Jimmy wait for Scar. Jimmy shrugs. "Some endermite soul showed up near the fox spawner and got tangled in their soul-catcher. They never found his vessel, so Mama Fox let Etho bring him to the station."

Lazy lifts one eyebrow.

"All right," Jimmy amends, scratching behind his neck. He flashes a guilty smile. His canary-yellow wings, small and positioned low against his back, give the softest flutter. "He may have smuggled the guy out to bring him here, yeah. You know Mama Fox. She's gotta have one of everything in her collection…"

"I do believe I made her acquaintance once, yes. I wasn't gonna mention it, but I did wonder how he could've swayed an entire soul out of her if there wasn't a bit of deception involved. It's been a hot minute since we've had a new endermite hybrid running around, yeah? Good for him. Hey Scar, I'm gonna say hi to Mum real fast."

"That's fine! I'll be up in a minute. Just gotta rest my foot. My glitch did a weird jolt when I hopped down; oooh boy… I'm gonna be feeling that."

[Cnt'd on AO3 - Link at top]