#Rape mention

[certifiedsexed]

hi younger teen here, are there any like. adverse mental effects to having sex at a young age? i have a friend whose (currently) 13 and is already having penetrative sex (started at 12) and while im pretty sure it’s safely i also know that said friend knows someone who had sex with the same guy they are and got pregnant so? additional question can sex from hypersexuality as a trauma response be harmful? thanks!

Hi! I've never seen any research that specifically ties sex itself at a young age to adverse mental effects. There's a lot of fearmongering research calling rape "sex" and pointing out how that has adverse mental affects but that applies to rape at any age.

Just sex itself has no proven adverse mental effects dependent on age. Unless someone wants to correct me with an actual paper?? [Fr, I'm always open to reading research, even if it takes me forever to get through it.]

Sex itself can be unhealthy if you're having it with people who don't treat you respectfully, or if you don't want to be having it at all but that's also true regardless of age and can also apply to many different things!

[Sex can also be unhealthy if it's not actually sex. What I mean by that is if you're being raped/sexually abused. For example, you're a kid/teen dating an adult [someone 18+]: what you're having in that situation isn't sex, it's rape.

Same if someone is pressuring/guilting you into having "sex" with them: that's rape. Or if someone threatens you, or they "have sex" with you without getting your consent. That's rape.]

But as long as your friend is safe and enjoying themselves, I wouldn't worry too much. Hopefully, since your friend already knows this guy has gotten someone pregnant [if that's not a rumor], they'll be extra careful!

But even if that doesn't work, there are options on what to do if they get pregnant and/or think they weren't safe enough. And having support behind them is a much better option than just not having sex.

And yes, while it's absolutely okay to have trauma responses-Its in fact, very understandable but sometimes they can be harmful for you.

It depends sometimes but its definitely a good idea to keep an eye on your trauma responses to make sure you're not relying on them too heavily and if they're actually helping you or if they're making you feel worse.

But also don't judge yourself too much for your trauma responses, especially when you're still stuck in a traumatizing situation, because they help keep you alive! Be kind to yourself.

Hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions. <33

[birthofvcnus]

[mulderscully]

sometimes i wonder what i would do if i got pregnant and couldn't get an abortion. when i was 17 i had a pretty bad pregnancy scare where i genuinely thought i might have to have one, and the fear i felt at the possibility of losing control of my body, of having to give birth and of having to raise my exes child cemented to me forever that i did not want children. i'm an old fuck now and this was over ten years ago. i'm a different person, but while i am sometimes soft to the idea of motherhood in fantasy (which i think is why i like to write kidfic) i still know that i never want to be pregnant and that i do not actively want to be mother. it would be something that happens to me, either through rape or by failed contraception. what would i do? if i couldn't get an abortion i would probably want to give the child up for adoption, but would i be able to? i don't know! and even if i kept the child i would always know i didn't want to be a mother, and a child knows when someone doesn't want them. just a nightmare.

[cugzarui]

you know something odd? the pharmacists giving plan B in my country said you can only take it once every few months but now i cant find a source for it? and im pretty sure the government doesn't cover plan B where im from (its a little pricey here) so i guess you win some you lose some

but seriously is it like a common thing in the world for doctors to make inappropriate comments about a patient's sex life? sounds horrendous

I hope to never be in the position where I have to consider getting an abortion due to rape or incest. This post is not about that.

But, I need to say this about all of the pro-abortion people I’ve encountered in my life so far. Including every female doctor, and especially every OB/GYN I’ve ever seen.

When I’ve brought up, or even hinted, that I’m saving myself for marriage to these people—again, even my own doctors—they’ve acted like I’m insane. As if, because I’ve decided that the responsibility and risk that comes with possibly getting pregnant and having a kid doesn’t outweigh the proposed benefits of casual sex, I’m utterly ridiculous. I’ve been laughed at. I’ve been told « we need to change that as soon as possible. »

By people who claim they’re fighting for me to have control over my own body.

So, if it’s truly my body, my choice, why do you mock those of us who say, « not until I’m ready and I’ve found the right one. » « Not until I can handle it and what might come after the fact. »

Sex is a choice, too. Sometimes, agency and owning your body is also saying no, rather than sleeping around. I would take pro-choice people more seriously if they weren’t so condescending when you say you’ve turned people down because you don’t want to have sex with whoever is available.

[luckyladylily]

So a few months ago there was the discourse about would you rather meet a man or a bear in the woods. I didn't want to touch it while the discourse was hot and everyone dug in hard because those are not good conditions for nuance, but I waited until today, June 1st, for a specific reason.

I'm not going to take a position in the bear vs man debate because I don't think it matters. What is really being asked here is how afraid are you of men? Specifically, unexpected men who are, perhaps, strange.

People have a lot of very real fear of men that comes from a lot of very real places. Back when I was first transitioning in 2015 and 2016, I decided to start presenting as a woman in public even though I did not pass in the slightest.

I live in a red state. I knew other trans women who had been attacked by men, raped by men. I knew I was taking a risk by putting myself out there. I was the only visibly trans person in the area of campus I frequented, and people made sure I never forgot that. Most were harmless enough and the worst I got from them was curious stares. Others were more aggressive, even the occasional threat. I had to avoid public bathrooms, of course, and always be aware of my surroundings.

I know how frightening it is to be alone at night while a pair of men are following behind you and not knowing if they are just going in the same direction or if they want to start something - made all the worse for the constant low level threat I had been living under for over a year by just being visibly trans in a place where many are openly hostile to queer people. You have to remember, this was at the height of the first wave of bathroom law discussions, a lot of people were very angry about trans women in particular. My daily life was terrifying at times. I was never the subject of direct violence, but I knew trans women who had been.

I want you to keep all that in mind.

So man or bear is really the question "how afraid of men are you?", and the question that logically follows is "What if there was a strange man at night in a deserted parking lot?" or "What if you were alone in an elevator with a man?" or "What if you met a strange man in the woman's bathroom?"

My state recently passed an anti trans bathroom bill. The rhetoric they used was about protecting women and children from "strange men", aka trans women.

Conservatives hijack fear for their bigoted agenda.

When I first started presenting as a woman the campus apartment complex was designed for young families. The buildings were in a large square with playgrounds in the center, and there were often children playing. I quickly noticed that when I took my daughter out to play, often several children would immediately stop what they were doing and run back inside. It didn't take me long to confirm that the parents were so afraid of "the strange man who wears skirts" that their children were under strict instructions to literally run away as soon as they saw me.

"How afraid are you of a strange man being near your children?"

I mentioned above that I had to avoid public bathrooms. This was not because of men. It was because of women who were so afraid of random men that they might get violent or call someone like the police to be violent for them if I ever accidentally presented myself in a way that could be interpreted as threatening, when my mere presence could be seen as a threat. If I was in the library studying and I realized that it was just me and one other woman I would get up and leave because she might decide that stranger danger was happening.

Your fear is real. Your fear might even come from lived experiences. None of that prevents the fact that your fear can be violent. Women's fear of men is one of the driving forces of transmisogyny because it is so easy to hijack. And it isn't just trans women. Other trans people experience this, and other queer people too. Racial minorities, homeless people, neurodivergent people, disabled people.

When you uncritically engage with questions like man or bear, when you uncritically validate a culture of reactive fear, you are paving the way for conservatives and bigots to push their agenda. And that is why I waited until pride month. You cannot engage and contribute to the culture of reactive fear without contributing to queerphobia of all varieties. The sensationalist culture of reactive fear is a serious queer issue, and everyone just forgot that for a week as they argued over man or bear. I'm not saying that "man" is the right answer. I am saying that uncritically engaging with such obvious click bait trading on reactive fear is a problem. Everyone fucked up.

It is not a moral failing to experience fear, but it is a moral responsibility to keep a handle on that fear and know how it might harm others.

[autolenaphilia]

This post has been in the back of my mind ever since i saw it last year because it is a mask off moment for a usually more subtle transmisogynist. : I blacked out the account names being accused in the screenshot above, because i don't want to be spreading fake transmisogynistic callouts around even to be criticquing them.

Like "trans women are sexual predators who use their identity as queer women as cover to prey on children and other vulnerable people, and liberals are too afraid of being called transmisogynistic to stop them" is like the basic transmisogynist narrative. It's literally the terf narrative about trans women. This is the real terf rhetoric, not trans women criticizing (trans)misogyny.

Yet it is still so common among ostensibly transfem-accepting liberals/leftists. Like trans women using their identity as a shield against legitimate criticism of their predatory behavior is such a common trope in queer spaces that claim to be against terfs. This is because TME people use hating on terfs as a substitute for dealing with their own transmisogyny.

This is extremely common among people in the callout culture transmisogyny fandom like the screenshotted blogger.They go for this line about "transfems using their identity as a shield against genuine criticism" all the time when their obvious if lightly veiled transmisogyny is pointed out. This is their main argument, their own shield against criticism. And it rings very hollow when these people call out transfem after transfem as sexual predators based on them liking harmless kinks like fauxcest and CNC, literally using old radfem arguments against kink.

What this sort of thing is, is the denial that transmisogyny even exists. A claim that instead of being an especially oppressed class of women, we are actually a privileged group. And terfs here are open about saying it's because we are men and have male privilege. The more subtle kind of transmisogynist, the "trans women are women, terfs dni" crowd, leaves the trans women have male privilege bit unsaid but implied.

And of course it's false. As people are surely aware, being transfem makes you more likely to publicly accused of being a sexual menace. And they are most likely false accusations. Accusations against the privileged and powerful, like cis men, are seldom false. The social power that these men wield make it dangerous for any victim to come forward.

Accusations towards members of marginalized groups like transfems, however, are easy and safe to make, because they don't have that kind of social power or privilege. Their position in any social setting is tenuous, and it's easy to turn the group against them to exile them. Transfems don't have the power to defend themselves even against the flimsiest of accusations, while privileged men can defend themselves even against the most well-documented ones. Transfems are instead more likely to be victims of abuse, and then DARVOed by their abusers, being accused of abuse when they were actually abused.

The fact is that transfems can "scream transmisogyny" but few TME people, including other lgbt people, are not likely to listen.

And this is not a "white girl" problem despite what the screenshotted post implies. This problem is far worse for black transfems suffering from transmisogynynoir, and other non-white transfems. Read writings written by black transfems like Position of Guilt: Black Hot Allostatic Load by Anonsee Storyweaver.

[headspace-hotel]

i haven't posted in a long time about Palestine but I just don't know what to say anymore.

Human Rights Watch reported recently on the Israeli military torturing health care workers. I won't describe it. It's the worst and most detestable level of human capability for cruelty. They were trying to force the doctors to confess to being part of Hamas and in some cases threatened to do horrible things to the doctors' families.

I don't understand the reaction of people that still support Israel. They think the attack by Hamas was terrible and unjustifiable—Yes, I understand that part

But we have reliable reports from numerous news and human rights organizations that the Israeli military is doing all of the same stuff and worse.

People say "I think what Hamas did is unacceptable", but supporting the actions of the Israeli military means they think those things are acceptable. If killing massive numbers of innocent civilians and torturing and raping prisoners for being "maybe" associated with the enemy is okay, why the hell would Hamas make you upset.

Are crimes against humanity "okay if you feel like it's a good idea" or are they bad. MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MIND

[dungeonmastersconsortium]

things are getting WILD on far-right twitter

[awakefor48hours]

Please stop telling people, for any reason, to kill themself. Stop advocating for suicide in any form or capacity.

[cutecipher]

Why is the idea that transmisogyny is "just" an online problem so pervasive? Trans women face issues from rape to starvation to imprisonment for being trans women to name a few, these are extremely "irl" issues that are pretty common from my experience.

[manstrans]

honestly the reason I'm so confident in myself when I talk about transandrophobia being real is because I remember what it was like to be ace in 2016

any random blog could come out against aspecs at any time. didn't matter what their content or gimmick was. and if they did come out supporting us, they'd be harassed and sent death threats. it even happened to thomas fucking sanders, who was generally seen as beloved before that (at least from what I saw)

the last major aspec discourse I remember seeing in that era was when someone said "it's bad to rape asexuals". that was all they were saying. and so many people arrived from nowhere to say "actually, aces are the ones withholding sex in the first place, which is abuse, so it's fine"

and when people replied to this saying "you're condoning rape. this is rape apologia," these people doubled down, trying to find reasons why it was okay

so now when I hear "transandrophobia isn't real you don't need a word for that" I remember "aphobia isn't real you don't need a word for that" and how the latter spiraled into justifying corrective rape so easily

[fairuzfan]

Here's a summary of what's been happening in Sudan the past couple of days. It's gotten to the point where women are asking for contraceptives for fear of getting raped by RSF forces.

[reachartwork]

can you guys be normal for like five seconds please

[anti-terf-posts]

can terfs please stop acting like agreeing with one thing they said equates to being one of them. No, saying that women should have access to safe abortions is not a terf-only opinion. I'll say "rape is bad" and then they come by and be like "Oh so you agree with us? So you're a radical feminist? So you're a terf? So you accept that trans men are women and trans women are men?" Like girllll no one said that it's just you and your imaginary friends

[cardentist]

I have a full post about this here [Link]

but I genuinely need people to start making the connection between terfs and radfems being Weirdly Invested in silencing trans men when they open up about being raped, calling them MRA's and misogynists and trying to get people to Stop Listening To Them or taking them seriously

and the fact that you can find terfs and radfems openly fantasizing about corrective raping trans men on this very site.

people who silence victims do it for a reason, and I think we should All acknowledge that terfs seem to Love doing it

[headspace-hotel]

Radfems commonly ask "What did J.K. Rowling do wrong besides say that 'woman' is a real biological category?" as a 'gotcha' and, well...

(referencing Matt Walsh's documentary, 'What is a Woman')

this is matt walsh (skip to 1:30)

If you don't want to click the link, this is where he says that girls are "most fertile" at 17 and that getting pregnant at 16 was the norm throughout history and that "teen pregnancy" isn't a real problem, only unwed pregnancy.

This is Matt Walsh's blog post explaining exactly what he thinks of feminism.

This is another post explaining what Matt Walsh thinks of feminism.

This is what Matt Walsh's twitter says

(Yes, he self-identified as a fascist on Twitter back when the interaction with JKR took place.)

If J.K. Rowling agrees with Matt Walsh on 'what a woman is,' she is anti-feminist, misogynistic scum.