#RENT TIME... i'm actually on time this year
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Skallagrim laughs "I don't actually know anymore... I think I'm closing in on 2000 or so" he says shrugging. "That's awesome. I've adopted a ton of kids," he says, laughing a little bit. "Hey you know the camp where I have the our family reunion every year is empty a lot of the time, We could do a retreat for the vets, Rent a bunch of horses, do trail rides, enjoy the lake, just relax out away from the city and all the hustle and bustle" he says
OPEN RP
Sam is throwing is annual 4th of July barbecue for the veterans at the Venters Center and decided to go all out with who he invited. He opened up the guest list to basically everyone he knew. He thought it would be nice for the Vets to interact with some other hero’s and exchange stories.
Sam had everything set up. He rented a park. Not a space in the park, the entire park. He had the grill, the food, the drinks, and the music. Now all he needed was the people. He sent out invitations the week before and he hopes people cleared their colander.
He even invited Bucky and people from his team. His lawyer wouldn’t like that but… at the end of the day him and Bucky are friends. He wanted him to be there.
Sam smiles as people start to arrive. He leaves one of the Vets in charge of the grill as he walks over to greet those walking up.
“Hey!” He says. “So glad you could make it!”
Tags under the cut
@oh-to-be-a-murderer @kingqup (any blog you want) @chuchucharlie (any blog you want) @totallyspiderman @clintbarton-thearrowguy @soldier-in-winter @captain-sam-t-wilson @dancepooool @jacks-muses @julietterogers @d-adpool @official-buckybarnes @the-best-black-widow @your-fav-russian-assassin @thebestmerc-1 @nothingf-i-s-h-yhere (any blog you want) @theironcan @gwayn-the-white-jaguar @over-bi-the-wayside (any blog you want) @matt-murdock-in-gotham @wh1tewidcw @buckybuck-barnes @babyfalcon-torres @urfavouritefalcon @bucky-bonky-barnes @realbucky-barnes @star-spangled-rogers @captain-eagle-stuff @steve-rogers-language @therealbobreynolds @falconanon @king-ofwakanda @jade-lopez-maximoff @notmsmarvell @dr-bruce-banner-official @rosaline-wilson @the-only-sister @l0uis-e @peter-parker-photos @rednexxsaysthing (any blog you want) @avengers-kiddo @officialrobert-bobby-reynolds @official-natasha-barnes @the-ironman @god-of-thunder-mcu @serenastark-official @officially-kate-bishop and anyone else out there in the rp universe please interact I’m desperate
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Ok I don't usually wade into political posts, but its pretty f**king clear @project2028 and everyone else reblogging this and similar posts don't actually gives a damn about preventing camping deaths.
I'm also sure only a handful of people will reblog this post, because talking about NWS alerts and how to actually f**king saving lives won't put any more points on the political scoreboard.
But as a nomad, the misinformation in these posts is p**ssing me off and if I can save at least one life by telling some hard, inconvienant truths, then it will so so worth it. Feel free to unfollow me now.
There were AT LEAST 6 alerts issued from NWS for the Kerrville area. The NWS issued a flood watch on July 3rd afternoon. Flash flood warnings began 1 a.m. CT July 4, with emergency alerts at 4:03 a.m. (Kerr County) and 5:34 a.m. (Kerrville). At least 6 emergencies total, warning of a "deadly flood wave" on the Guadalupe River.
The problem was people decided to camp near a river where a flood warning had already been issued in the afternoon and they a) didn't keep their phones on at night to get alerts or b) make the decision to camp with an emergency radio so they could get alerts.
Trust me, I've been a nomad for over 8 years now -- a weather alert will most DEFINITELY wake you up IF you care enough about your life and the lives of your loved ones to carry an emergency radio and/or make sure your phone is charged.
So let's recap.
1. If you go camping, always make sure somebody always knows where you are. If your plans change, ALWAYS text or call somebody so that emergency crews know where to find you if shit goes wrong. People die every year because they couldn't be bothered to send a text that would have told emergency crews how to find them.
2. If there is a weather warning issued for the area where you decide to camp, always assume this will be the one time that the warning will turn into a serious situation. Write down the address or coordinates of where you are at before you go to bed. That way you are ready to give a good location to emergency responders if needed. Keep your phone on through the night and charged so the alerts can wake you if shit hits the fan. Battery packs for phones are only twenty to thirty bucks and can save your life.
3. You should NEVER camp unless you have an emergency radio and extra batteries. Again, this stuff is cheap and could save your life.
4. Have a f**king plan. I will repeat - have a f**king plan. Have a bag packed that you can grab quickly. Make sure you have meds, your pets stuff, extra keys in this bag, etc. If you are in an RV, keep a tool to break a window. If you are renting a cabin, know where the exits are and have a plan to get to safety.
5. Finally, shit can happen fast in a natural disaster. I had a friend who was camping near a wildfire. He stepped outside for a moment, looked around - and in that moment, the wildfire jumped the road and reached his RV. Fortunately he had his keys with him, so he was able to jump in his truck and drive to safely. His RV was a total loss. Keep extra keys in vehicles, keep your emergency bag close, and ALWAYS be prepared for things to go bad very fast.
Let me recap again. A NWS alert is ONLY as good as your willingness to be prepared, and every NWS warning should be heeded if you go camping.
Again, I know a lot of people will now unfollow me, or start sending me hate messages because how dare I challenge the Very Important Political Narrative that NWS failed, and you know what? I honestly don't care. If I can save one life by this post then all the hate I am about to get will be worth it.
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Ok, so I got to meet Varada Sethu and Faye Marsay yesterday and actually speak about Vel + Cinta. It was genuinely so lovely to get to tell them both how much they mean to queer Star Wars fans.
I got quite a bit of time with Faye, because her lines were shorter. She was so excited when I picked the Vel/Cinta window image for her to autograph (Faye Marsay saying "Velcinta forever" at my choice lives in my head rent free now) and we spoke a bit about how I was doing, how she was doing and where I'm from (she recognized my accent) and she thanked me when I asked her if she was alright (cons are EXHAUSTING). Then we discussed how it was about time Star Wars actually featured queer characters front and center. Below is a paraphrased and condensed version, as we discussed other topics in between.
Me: I love Star Wars, but never really felt included properly until Andor and Vel and Cinta.
F: About time, innit? We're (queer people) everywhere and I've loved playing Vel.
M: She and Cinta are very special to lots of people.
F: Have you gone and seen V yet?
M: No, not yet! Her queues are huge, but I'm on my way after.
F: Super popular, proud of her!
M: Now Andor's over, we need that Velcinta spin-off.
F: We do! Though V had to make it awkward by popping her clogs, didn't she?
M: A prequel spin-off!
F: Yes! Let's make it happen. Actually, our kiss scene was the first thing me and V shot in season 2, which was funny. Because we hadn't seen one another for a bit, so it was like "hey mate, let's make out!" And it was absolutely freezing in there too. So we were just happy for the warmth.
We then spoke about Pride and other personal topics I will not be mentioning for privacy of Faye/myself, but she wished me a happy pride and thanked me for coming and off I went. She's such a darling and it was really clear to me how much she loves Vel and Cinta.
I unfortunately didn't get a lot of time with Varada, her lines were huuuuuge and full of Doctor Who fans. But even standing in the line and speaking about Andor, it was just nice to be reminded how well-loved Vel and Cinta continue to be. I ended up talking to this lovely woman who hadn't even touched Star Wars for years, but came back after hearing about Vel and Cinta. We commiserated a little about the handling of Cinta (canon, what is canon really?) and she went on her way to meet Varada.
Again, meeting Varada was extremely brief. They were sending people away if you had a ticket number over 200 (I was 199!!!) and she was leaving at 6. I did manage to thank her for Cinta though, and she was excited to see the autograph.
V: My gorgeous Vel and Cinta. They're both babes, aren't they? I'll take wife's lead here and sign it Cinta as well.
And that was it! Really brief and I was a little sad not to speak longer, but I totally understood why. But it was nice to feel the love for Vel and Cinta with other people and with Faye and Varada themselves, because they did A LOT for those characters.

Anyway. It was great. I haven't stopped smiling since.
#aimee chats#adding to the tag for my fellow velcinta fans 🧡#ship: velcinta#they know how loved they are trust me!#cast: varada sethu#cast: faye marsay
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Somber announcement
@bastardtrait just posted about this and you know what? What the hell. I've been in denial for weeks but it's time to set myself freeeeee
All my main saves are fried. Yup. Gone. Kaput. I thought the nature of it were mod issues, but the save corruption has been happening to me a little too often (those who follow @dustbon know what's up) and now my long time saves are unplayable, no matter what I do. Lite cc, vanilla, playing in recovery saves and backups, repairing the game, 50/50, following tutorials to optimize the game, you name it. Even some of the sims' tray files from those worlds were corrupted, so my personal gallery was compromised as well. The culprit? Most probably the for rent ep, since those problems practically never happened to me before after years of playing this game with even messier settings, saves and cc. And I know I'm not the only one.
I recently got desperate, deleted my game and reinstalled it. Started fresh. It's been running fine so far, I've been testing it with the very veggie challenge I started posting at @dustbon. I'm so angry and sad my personal save, the stories and legacies I worked on for years and the sims I was so attached to are perfectly unusable now... But this is a game, and I want to have fun with it while playing. Not stressing out after spending hours trying to fix what's wrong when I actually have the chance to sit and relax for a while one day or another.
So... Yeah. No more princess save, not so berry, anything. I think I'll take this as a chance to start from a blank page. Since that means I won't need a sideblog anymore, I'll be moving the gameplay posts from dustbon here. Excuse the messiness since I could probably just keep posting there without problem, but I think it's more of an emotional need. @pixel-bloom @rillabrooke, the sims you sent me are safe and sound, and I'm so sorry for not being able to play with them properly. If you're ok with it, I would like to include them in the save I'm currently playing in.
Whew, that was long. I'm glad I could take it out of my chest because the anxiety and frustration was killing me, tbh. So... Thank you. And those who were asking about the continuity of the stories and gameplay challenges (I got your asks), I'm afraid that's not happening. I'm really grateful you enjoyed them as much as I did, you know? Hopefully the casual gameplay can compensate something.
#bad news tag i guess#ron you just liberated me without knowing#anyway...#ill be doing some blog hosekeeping#so it feels good to post again#soon i hope!#i also just got into a new job so let me get adjusted to my schedule#it's easygoing but i went from traveling 3 times a week to 5 without notice#i love you guys#i keep having a toxic relationship with this game but i love it here#this is still my happy place after all
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from here on in i shoot without a script 🎥!!!!
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I WENT SHOPPING FOR MY NEW APARTMENT!!!!!!
#i haven't gotten approved for the lease yet but it's been on the market for months and they dropped the rent several times#with my father as cosigner i'm confident i'll get it#it's from 1960 so i'm gonna make it grandmacore & thrift old wooden furniture & put my porcelain dolls and vases of dried flowers everywher#i have always loved vintage stuff and i'm so hyped#YOU SHOULD SEE ALL THE GLASSWARE I GOT FROM GOODWILL!!! wine glasses‚ champagne flutes‚ rocks & marg glasses‚ embossed water glasses#and beautiful floral porcelain plates!! and at target i got heart/flower-shaped floral pillows for when i have a couchhhh#i'm actually gonna FREAK OUT this feels like a dream!! I BOUGHT SHOWER CURTAINS BRO. MUGS. BAKING SHEETS. ICE TRAYS. DRAWER ORGANIZERS!!!#and my best friend said they're gonna get me an air fryer and/or keurig as a housewarming gift!! 🥰#ahhhhhh i'll get my own apartment either way but i want the 1960 more than anythingggg i don't even care that it's 65 years old#personal#marla escapes the torture labyrinth.txt
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i'm going home tomorrow & i'm so excited to see my family, i really missed them
#also my mom told me some time ago that i'm really brave & i shouldn't give up#but i don't feel brave i feel tired#so basically i had three different jobs this year#first one i quit because i hated it & it was too chaotic#i got fired from the second one after over a month because apparently i was too nice#now the third one i know is just temporary because it's similar to the one i quit last year#and it's only because i need money so i can't stay jobless#my situation is kinda fucked up because i live here alone so i have to pay rent#and i really don't want to go back to my parents#i know i can but i wanna stay here#i've been working so hard to move to my favourite city and i want to start studies here this year i just can't give up#so i just took the job i didn't want#and i keep looking for something i might actually like#but god i'm tired#i feel like the biggest fucking failure#i just need a normal fucking job jesus why is it so hard#i don't want to work with customers anymore i hate people#and i also want to earn a little more money because trust me it's not that easy to live fucking alone#i mostly spend my money on food cause unfortunately i have to eat#but i'm not interested in just surviving i really want to start feeling alive again#ugh#[i say whatever and whatever that i want]
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Suddenly stressing out so so so much because farrier school starts march 31st and i still need to find an apartment near the school and also buy all my tools and also buy new work boots and also more jeans because i only have like 2 pairs left (???) and also need to get a trailer hitch installed on my car so i can even drive my stuff up to Minnesota in the first place and also-
#except i have absolutely zero money to do it all with AAAAAHHHH#literally the entirety of my first paycheck is going toward paying off my taxes#the entirety of my next pay check is going to have to go toward paying for my car#and then after that I'm going to only have like. maybe two more paychecks and then I'll have to quit my job#i really wish i had an easier time asking my parents for financial help. like they can afford it no problem#but actually going to them and being like “hey. im barely scraping by. could you help me out?” makes me feel like im having a heartattack#probably has something to do with how i was 100% preparing myself to get disowned when i came out as trans to them#or the fact that they dropped all financial support of me when i dropped out of college#(because the alternative was me driving my car as fast as it would go into a tree lmao)#so i suddenly went from having schooling + housing provided for to having to figure out how to survive on $10/hr + tips#while very mentally unwell#tho i think maybe they'd be a lot more willing to help if they knew just how much ive been struggling the last 6 years? maybe?#but then how to fuck do i tell them “oh yeah. since you stopped helping me ive barely been able to afford both food and rent every month”#“yeah ive technically been living below the poverty line the last 6 years but im terrified to ask you for help for reasons i cant explain”
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#oh my goD could my mother stop stealing all my fucking stuff for even 1 fucking week jfc#im gonna scream#she thinks that bc she's the one paying the majority of the rent and is technically my caregiver bc im too disabled to do certain chores etc#that she is simoly entitled to everything in the apartment and can do whatever she wants#steals my food steals my drinks steals my products steals my laundry card etc#now she's stealing my clothes and pyjamas#the fuck dude#i have severe skin allergies and have very selective clothing i can wear w/o a painful reaction#and now she's just. taking that too#the same way she takes the select few foods that don't set off my issues or allergies and steals the drinks that keep my blood sugar up#and steals the unscented hypoallergenic products i have to use#it never fuckin ends this woman is so self-absorbed and arrogant i rly cannot handle it sometimes (most times)#the irony is that she's a teacher and regularly works with kindergarteners who can understand 'don't touch what isn't yours'#and gives regular lectures to her students of all ages about respecting other ppl's belongings and never assuming u can take something#gives a big ol spiel about attentive listening and boundaries and respect on a daily fuckin basis from 8 am to 8 pm for her 2 teaching job#then comes home and immediately disregards that to take everything that isnt hers / disrespect my belongings and space#and yell at me when i tell her not to / get mad at her for doing it#ma'am.#ur 5 yr olds understand this. so do ur 8 yr olds. u r 60 MF YEARS OLD WHY CAN U NOT COMPREHEND THIS#nah actually the worst part is that she *does* understand it. she simply doesn't care#she would never do this to anyone else just me. bc im disabled and a burden and she hates having me depend on her for things.#idk if its vindictive or bc she feels like i owe her for basic care and decency or if she just enjoys lashing out like a petty bitch#i stopped trying to figure it out a long time ago#all i'm fucking asking is for her to STOP STEALING MY SHIT#is that so much to beg for. is it#ugHdjddjsk#someone find me a wall i need to bash my head against it#(or maybe hers. that might be better)#ask to tag#negative
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You've heard of [person/character/show/story/media/art] living rent free in your head right?
Now get ready for: that, but each is a little bird in the nest of you mind, some birds are there for a long time and some just a little while, as they come and go and theres some you feed more than others And it's not until you realize that suddenly "theres less birds here" "where'd the other babies go?" That the bird you started to feed a couple days ago is Cuckoo bird
#(Metaphor for when you have a new special interest that suddenly takes over your brain-#that you cant even focus on other things that used to live rent free in you brain because it's all [CUCKOO] now)#Sometimes theres multiple birds that get along okay (I can focus on each without distracting from the others)#with maybe a favorite of the bunch#but I switch between them fine#And often there will be a new bird that visits for a bit before flying away#And other times a new bird just comes in all of a sudden and takes over#But most of the time. I think it's just a new bird to visit for a little while#and then suddenly it's the only one in the nest#Where my other babies go? Whyd you push them out?? Yet I dont stop feeding the cuckoo. I cant. I have to feed the baby#Anyway. Tmnt is a cuckoo but there is now another cuckoo in the nest and they're fighting#We'll see if the new one manages to push tmnt out or if tmnt will regain the upper hand#The 'new' cuckoo has actually been here before. But it had been well over 4 years since it was the leader of the nest#And almost a year and half since it visited . (So it's been building strength since and came back with a vengeance lol)#I'm taking the metaphor too far#I'll shut up now#Midnight rambling#It is 2:30 am#living rent free in my head
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hate my sister's shitty good for nothing boyfriend. can you imagine being a 30yo man with two kids who won't even scramble an egg. Not for his kids, not for his girlfriend, not for himself. literally if my sister doesn't leave out pre-made meals when he's watching the kids he will rip up bread or pour them dry cereal or open a granola bar and make himself microwave dinners. like, lowest effort possible. but if i mention this to my sis, she'll be like "no he's definitely cooked for the kids! he scrambled an egg for them once! i watched him do it!" but it's like...so he scrambled one egg in the last five years. just to like, prove he can? at your direct insistence? should we all clap? like seriously. hate this guy. had to really hold back recently because he had someone over and he was interacting with the kids more than usual for appearances, and he had to keep asking me and my sis what the 5yo was signing because he barely bothered to learn his own son's primary form of communication. i was so tempted to say "that one means 'go home' but you wouldn't know that because you don't take them anywhere." so hard to hold that in. If I had to describe this man in two words they would be these: Low Effort. Not quite bare minimum, but JUST enough to convince my sister that it would be too much hassle to get rid of him. he's stupid as fuck, but just smart enough to quickly stop shit like screaming obscenities at the kids for doing normal kid things. and he once stomped on my headphones and broke them in a fit of rage, but gave my sister money to replace them so it was "fine." Like, my sister thinks that he's just struggling with his anger issues, because he had a bad childhood, blah, blah, and oh he would never actually hurt her or the kids. and like, good for you, but i don't trust like that. genuinely hoping he gets struck by lightning and dies instantly.
#my sister and i do all the hard stuff and most of the easy stuff too tbh#cooking and cleaning and sorting out benefits and insurances and getting the kids to school and events#doctor's appointments and medications and dentist appointments and taxes#we get the groceries and care for all the pets and kids and household things#we both have jobs#i actually have 3 jobs#good for nothing boyfriend makes $12 a year plus some under the table cash as a “private trainer”#which means between that and selling his plasma and borrowing money from his mom he can...pay his super cheap tiny part of rent#and occasionally hand my sister like $20#he doesn't buy groceries or diapers or household supplies or clothing or toys or literally anything#literally the only household chore he does is fold laundry#that's it. and it's not “DO” laundry. it's just folding the clean and dry stuff#you know. the chore my parents would have us do when we were like 10 so we'd feel helpful#the 5yo is medically complex and we frequently make trips to a slightly distant hospital with him#and they literally asked us to stop bringing my sister's boyfriend along because he was disruptive and confusing#which was a polite way to say 'obnoxious and stupid as shit'#do you know how many times in one visit w/the same doctor he would ask 'so when does he get superpowers?'#he also obviously didn't know how to answer basic questions like 'how many times does he poop a day on average'#and 'how often has he been eating and what has he been eating day to day?'#like bro this man can go days without changing a diaper and will not even heat up a can of spaghettios to feed his own kids#he cannot answer those questions with any kind of accuracy#also i'm saying boyfriend because my sister desperately wanted to at least be engaged so she could say fiance in front of ppl#but just like marriage this was apparently a 'waste of effort'#not even the cheapest ring or the most underwhelming proposal or a courthouse wedding was worth his energy so...#yeah glad she hasn't married this waste of air. and i'll be praying for that lightning strike
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Fun fact, back when I worked at Dave and Busters and was told I needed to work labor day, I asked if we'd get holiday pay for it and my manager literally didn't answer; he just laughed at me and walked away. I'm glad there are places that at least offer holiday pay since they want retail and service workers to work on labor day.
that's beyond fucked up. it should totally be required by law for working on federal holidays to get the overtime pay??? sorry but if the country considers it an important enough day to give themselves off, the folk who have to work should be properly compensated.
I hope you coincidentally were 'out of town' or 'sick' on holidays cause fuck that manager
#til holiday pay isn't even required#that actually makes me so mad#I'm already working for shit wages and like there's no way I'd not get paid for holidays#my wage isn't even LIVABLE for my town#I did the math a few months ago to go over rent with my mom#and if I spend absolutely nothing besides internet and phone bill#I made about 700 bucks on the terrible hours my work gave me (a month)#rent went to 1600 this year#I don't even make HALF of my rent#Im fucking partime and if I went full time I still wouldn't make it#before the house got foreclosed mortgage was like 900#unfortunately my dad was terrible with money and my mom never held him accountable so bye byr house#bye bye living wage#God I want this housing bubble to pop#can't believe having a roof over our head isn't considered a human right#what a fucked up world we live in
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sorry my only possessions are these stupid blurry pics of this stupid fucking idiot trying to make coffee taste... well like coffee..?



personally I don't think we as a fandom have dragged him enough about this yet
I mean how hard can it be to succesfully make one cup of coffee 😭 he owns a French press but acted as if he's never used one smh, diagnosing him as a disaster 🤲
#i'm one to talk but in my defence i don't drink coffee#so i'm forced to use any kind of coffee machine approximately once a year when my landlord comes for a visit#he's coming this friday actually but i'm so nervous about the coffee thing that i've decided i simply forgot to buy some#sorry mr. landlord no coffee this time pls lower my rent#i'm just so insecure about it lol i fear that people are too polite to say if the coffee i make actually tastes terrible#anyway. thanks for leaving disaster gremlin in my askbox hope you're having a great evening <3#answered asks#mosvu
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did i mention that i ran around on friday panic buying last minute gifts for our family xmas gathering on sunday alone bc my sister was working (understandable) and my brother couldn't be fucked (less understandable) and then caught something while i was shopping and missed christmas because i was too sick to go.
#this is what's spurred my need to hibernate next year i'm not doing this again#texted my brother on friday morning like 'so what time do you wanna leave to get the prezzies bc i've got plans in the morning'#and he said 'oh i forgot about that i just kinda wanted to have a pj day today tbh'#26 year old man who does not pay rent. btw.#so i went on my own and picked out what i thought were actually pretty good presents i know my dad LOVED his#but yeah picked something up at good old eastland (which is hell in december btw do not ever go there then) and the fam hates me anyway#for not being there. also neither of them have paid me back. i love christmas.
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the apartment we looked at today was really bad - like, one room was missing half the flooring and they (the landlord) just put carpet over it. luckily it was only the current tenant there, though - she told us about the landlord and that she's... not great. so even if the apartment had been decent we wouldn't have been interested after that.
#it also helped us further narrow down which places/villages we'll consider from now on#it's basically just down to three places now.#and they're the same ones we would have preferred the last two times we moved.#but damn I'm just really not willing to go through all this work again just to end up in *another* shitty village that I know I won't#really like.#I'd rather stay with my mother for a couple months if it means we find a good place.#(it'd have to be my mother and not my in-laws because we're pretty sure they wouldn't want our cats in their house. so)#like it'd SUCK but I can. not. keep moving somewhere new every fucking year#especially since it takes me a year to start feeling sort of at home#we've been thinking we *might* be able to start thinking about maybe possibly mayyybe buying a house at some point. if I find a job and if#it's one that pays enough and so on.#and we would really rather not move again until we can do that.#(if we can. it's only a very vague idea at this point. but we've realised it's the *only* way we'd actually feel fully comfortable somewher#we're bad at living in a house with other people 🙃)#(and there are *no* houses for rent that aren't absolutely huge and/or way too expensive)#personal
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The worst thing about how some of the most known people in the general community have been shitty to me in the past is that...I'm just cut off from the community even on the occasions I do want to interact. You don't get to play in the same pool as everyone else when someone who owns it has decided to invent the most bad-faith assumptions about you and run with them. You just stop having that social avenue, the end.
But then I think, do I wanna play in a pool run by people who think the way they behaved is normal and good and a bunch of people who support their wildly incorrect take on the situation, no questions asked? Nah, not really.
But it's still fucking frustrating.
#this post was way longer but I removed a lot of hornet's nest kicking from it. yes I'm still in that mood.#I basically can't attend othercon even if I wanted to. there are multiple panels every year that I'd be barred from.#can't join any of the still-active forums.#can't join several discords.#and why? because *checks notes* I tried a little too hard to apologize once? and this got read as malicious action somehow? okay sure Jan.#and 99% of the time nobody lives in my head rent-free except me and my alters but 1% of the time I miss Having A Community.#and this invariably leads to remembering why I don't AND CAN'T Have A Community and how it's kinda fucked actually!#and it's really hard to not be angry and frustrated about that.#IYKYK. I don't care if this gets back around to the individual(s) responsible. let 'em think what they want about me. whatever.#like they're gonna continue to believe whatever they invented about me and I obviously can't stop that.#the version of me they invented to get mad at sounds like a real asshole anyway. I'd hate that guy too.#(okay I doubled back and threw ONE pebble at the hornet's nest. I'm not sorry.)
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