#Poking Astarion's identity as an elf with a sharpened spoon

[y-rhywbeth2]

The rest of that section sticks with me, like:

"Race had nothing to do—" "It had everything to do with your actions!" the Shark interrupted. "What you forgot is that this creature is not an elf any longer and therefore did not deserve your misplaced protection. He's a vampire. They are things of purest evil. They know no race, and the only thing they 'deserve' is a stake through the heart..."

From a mechanical perspective this is either right or probably right depending on edition (3.5e vampire was a template, so you're kinda both although 'humanoid' does get overwritten with 'undead'). Mostly she's correct: an elven vampire is functionally a vampire with maybe some elven traits leftover from what/who they used to be. She's also not wrong that vampirism will, almost all of the time, override the old identity (probably a side effect of the level drain where a vampire drains your life experience and soul along with your life force and blood - possibly why Astarion's memory of pre-vampirism is fucked up (trauma is another one, but I'm not sure reverie is actually impacted by trauma nor that there's an opt out from reviewing bad memories.))

Also 99% of elves absolutely will not consider a vampire Tel'Quessir. (Although as Rhynn, the moon elf being questioned shows, some of them still do.)

Although going off of Jander (the elf vampire being discussed in the quoted story) and the Baldur's Gate series what with Cazador and Bodhi there's definitely some innate elfiness in there. Screaming.

'[Bodhi] revels in her carnal nature even as the elf within despises the creature she has become.' - Journal of Jon Irenicus

As ever I love tragic walking identity crisis monsters.

...my original point was less the nature of vampire vs elf, and more like I frequently wonder how vampirism affects Astarion as an elf. He leans very hard on defying elven values to the point he almost seems to be protesting a bit too hard sometimes (and did that start pre-vampirism or post? Did vampirism exarcebate it?). He never brings it up, besides a passing allusion to Evereska. Also he'd probably deflect if asked and snap if pushed for an answer.

Maybe something like Irenicus' experiences:

'My condition grows worse, and what I remember of my "home" is fleeting. I see images of family whose names I cannot recall and dream of emotions I no longer feel as vividly. On occasion, I sense nature as if she were my mother, as though never removed from her bosom, but such moments are few. I bear the hallmarks of senility with the rage and power of a young elf to lament it.'

(Hey Astarion, can you still sense trees?)

Whatever one's feelings on elvendom, being effectively torn out of it even just on the cultural level should probably hurt like a bitch? And then there's the other level of no longer being apart of nor accepted by your People and your gods and potentially the Weave and the Balance which made up a fundamental part of what you intrinsically are/were - that has got to fuck you up. Especially knowing that the whole 'they're just evil monster parodies of the people they were' thing is exactly how most of the world sees you on top of that. And that it's not exactly false, few people 'survive' becoming vampires (personality/soul-wise).

But it is the nature of vampirism to bury your doubts in power and denial in the downward spiral to monstrosity. It's been so long you maybe don't even remember what filled the void! Everything's fiiiine.

(And it's Sehanine, Corellon and Mystra who're hooking you up with the mystical elf network, so not even Ascension can fix that loss.)

This is probably angst I'd explore in fic if I wasn't too lazy to write. Or neurotic about going OOC.

"I don't care what lies you've heard. He deserved to go free." "Ah, you elves do protect your own, don't you?" Shark's lips curled in a sneer. "I've never heard of an elven vampire before. I'm looking forward to this case." - Blood Sport

'Elven vampires are so rare!' And then the section on Toril's vampires has an adventure centred around three elven vampires. D&D's token 'good' vampire is a sun elf. I recall something about a vampire drow somewhere. One of the villains of BG2 is an elven vampire. BG3 has four of the damned things...

I'm going to be honest, I don't think vampire hunters are very good at their job. How have you never heard of an elven vampire when you can't throw a rock without hitting the bloody things??