#PePW

[dzpenumbra]

15 questions 15 mutuals

Tagged by @normeda

were you named after anyone? 

Yes, my first name is my mother's brother's name, and my middle name is my mother's father's name.

when was the last time you cried? 

Yesterday, while listening to a song on stream.

do you use sarcasm a lot? 

Surely not... noo.... I mean, who does that?... PEPW

what's the first thing you notice about people?

Their body language, usually. Try to get a read of what mood they're in.

what’s your eye color?

Hazel.

scary movies or happy endings?

I used to be fanatically into scary movies, but not as much the past five years. Lately, I'm more into happy endings.

any special talents? 

I'm very adept and experienced with barefoot hiking. I'm a multi-instrument musician (guitar, bass, drums, composition) and an interdisciplinary artist. I can read tarot pretty well, I think.

where were you born? 

New Jersey, USA.

what are your hobbies? 

Video games, indoor gardening, dream analysis. I'm doing my damnedest to fuse all of my hobbies into one patchwork career.

have any pets?

Not anymore, unfortunately. I just lost both my female German Shepherd and orange tabby cat last year. I will have pets again someday, but the birds who come and visit my feeder are plenty enough animal friends for me for right now.

what sports do you play/have you played? 

I used to do a lot of sports. Basketball, soccer, ski racing, fencing. But after high school, it has been pretty much exclusively hiking, skateboarding and snowskating. Maybe a little snowboarding, if I can ever afford it.

how tall are you? 

5'8"

favorite subject in school? 

Most people would expect me to say "art"... since I fucking got a degree in it... and I love doing the work of art, don't get me wrong... But the classes I was most excited about going to were "TV Studies" in high school and Art History in college, but more so for the ancient history parts than the more modern stuff.

dream job?

I don't know, honestly it's a hard question. I try really hard to fuse any dreams I have into my whole... artist thing. I have new dream jobs every month, I swear. So, if I want to work in trail maintenance, I'm trying to design it so I can just... make that part of my job and incorporate the skills and knowledge I learn from that job into my art. Like Mike Rowe and his show Dirty Jobs, but with art. And less dirty. Still trying to figure out how to make it work, but I'll be damned if I'm giving up any time soon.

Tagging:  @0nlinejournal (If you haven’t done this:) You!

[pensieri-e-parole-world]

La ragazza

Mi alzai dal letto, misi le mie converse ormai usurate dal tempo poi presi il cappello e lo indossai senza preoccuparmi dei capelli e dopo presi la macchina fotografica. Appena fuori casa misi le cuffiette e attaccai la musica, una playlist a caso.Camminai per un po’ poi vidi una panchina e mi sedetti, presi una sigaretta e accesi. Feci un bel tiro. Fuori il freddo mi avvolgeva e il fumo rimaneva come bloccato a mezz'aria. Tolsi le scarpe le posizionai per terra e gli scattai una foto. Faceva sempre più freddo. Buttai la sigaretta per terra, mi rimisi le scarpe e feci una foto alla sigaretta ancora mezza accesa. La presi da per terra e la buttai nel posacenere vicino al cestino non lontano da me. Fuori non c’era nessuno, forse per l’orario un po’ scomodo, oppure per il troppo freddo. Non curante mi incamminai verso casa.La musica mi portava a camminare con un passo saltellante, allegro anche se allegra non ero per niente. Mi avvicinai al fiume, tolsi le cuffiette e ascoltai il rumore dell'acqua. Chiusi gli occhi e rimasi in quel posto forse per troppo tempo. Mi congelai completamente. Sentivo il mio corpo irrigidirsi. Corsi a casa e mi buttai sotto la doccia calda. Dopo la doccia ancora in accappatoio mi misi al computer e scaricai le foto fatte quel giorno e dopodiché andai sul balcone e fumai un'altra sigaretta, la seconda della giornata. 

Mi sentivo terribilmente sola. 

Questo sentimento non mi abbandonava mai. Ormai ci ero quasi abituata. Presi la bottiglia di vodka e bevvi un sorso. Con la testa che iniziava a girare per l'aver bevuto troppo in fretta mi buttai sul letto a peso morto.

 Mi buttai su quel letto sfatto che odorava ancora di lui.

 Pensieri-e-Parole-World

[as-troz]

@keiiilalei smh no one even reads these

name: Astro :)

gender: male

star sign: aries

height: good question

time: 9:09 pm

birthday: 4/15

fav band: paramore

fav solo artist: a tie between elley duhe, solange, KYNE and alina baraz

last movie: the shape of water

last show: spungebop squarepants 

when did i create this blog: late 2017

what do i post: shitty hnk doodles, bad hnk fanfics, shitposts and reblogs of art i like

last thing i googled: “eren”

do i get asks: nah this tungle gets 0 interaction ever :PEPW:

why i chose this url: ‘astro’ i cant ever get as a username so i gotta compromise with different spellings

following: 319

followers: 92

average hours of sleep: 7-8 ish 

lucky numbers: ???? i dont know

instruments: i used to play violin and clarinet for a few months when i was younger but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ didnt stick

what am i wearing: grey shirt, grey vans sweatpants and same black headband

dream job: something that involves traveling whether that be my current career or something entirely different, idc, i just want to go places

dream trip: japan, egypt and brazil

favorite food: cheese fry :) and pozole 

nationality: american :cring:

fav song: at the moment???? uhhh XBOW by Bishu

last book i read: houkago play 3 (manga)

top three fictional universes i’d like to live in: cocoon (ffxiii), psamathe (apex legends) and yharnam (bloodborne)

@rinboz @radishleaf @goterina if yall want, feel free 2 ignore smile

[macryanmac91]

Bob Ross and No Face got some new friends today! 👽🎈 #It #Pennywise #overwatch #ana #reaper #alien #ripley #xenomorph https://www.instagram.com/p/B1nKFO-pEPW/?igshid=8vsn4etu0t2w

[serak-sarak-meta-sarahk]

Pepaw mark at least told me that one day neigh far away 2022, once you have slept under Pepaws chin as lifelong below pepaws shin sleeper. And he said one day I'd experience pretty princess pepw most nap vibes to effects of the nap.

[ourgiulianasodalove]

Linguine al merluzzo con bacon e mix di ortaggi Ingredienti per 4 persone: 320 g di linguine 400 g di merluzzo pulito 80 g di bacon 4 pomodori semisecchi sott'olio 1/2 peperone rosso, verde, giallo e arancione 1 melanzana piccola 1 ciuffo di origano 1 ciuffo di maggiorana farina olio extravergine di oliva sale pepe Procedimento: Taglia a bocconcini il merluzzo e a listarelle sottili il bacon e i pomodori sgocciolati. Priva i peperoni di semi e filamenti e tagliali a falde. Spunta la melanzana e riducila a cubetti. Spella la cipolla, tritala finemente e falla rosolare a fuoco dolce in un tegame con un filo di olio per almeno 5 minuti, aggiungi la melanzana e falla dorare mescolando. Unisci i peperoni, falli saltare per un paio di minuti e infine condisci gli ortaggi con sale, pepw, origano e maggiorana. Infarina i tocchetti di merluzzo e rosolali in padella con un filo di olio, a fuoco vivace e su tutti i lati, poi condiscili con un pizzico di sale e mescolali con la julienne di bacon e i pomodori. Cuoci le linguine in abbondante acqua bollente salata, scolale molto al dente e trasferiscile nel tegame con gli ortaggi. Falle saltare per 2 minuti. Metti sulla placca 4 doppi fogli di carta da forno, rialza i bordi e versa la pasta, poi aggiungi il merluzzo al bacon e pomodori. Sigilla i cartocci, lasciando un po' di spazio e infornali a 250 gradi per 5 minuti. Nel fondo la pasta continuerà a cuocere, aiutata dai liquidi che si formano dentro il cartoccio: scolala 3 minuti prima del tempo e lasciala molto umida. Preparazione: 20 minuti Cottura: 20 minuti https://www.buongustaiag.it/linguine-al-merluzzo-con-bacon-e-mix-di-ortaggi/ https://www.instagram.com/p/CEjicwxlI7V/?igshid=ewo2eah0abnw

[theonetrueemo]

Baby blabbing?? Okay!

You weawwy weawwy need to stowp bein such a meanie! Twump is a bad bad man! Awso you witterwawy sad day da definifon of pansegsuwal is somone who wike to wape wots and wots of pepwe. I nevew sad dat bein twans means i not homophobic, i sad i not homophobic. you need to go back to scool befow you com to me wiff all dis buwwcwap!!!

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

@profetens-apenbaring Hm... For being 18 y/o you sure do care a lot about whether I have tits or not. Very odd

How would you even know I’m a trans guy unless you were looking a little low? My eyes are up here idiot.

You fucking think it’s alright to harrass a 15 y/o just because of your dumb beliefs. Okay I’m pagan, I’ll harrass you until you worship the Greek gods

And don’t fucking hide in the tags cunt

Come out here and fight me like a man

Or sorry, I mean woman

Oh see, it’s so easy to correct yourself when you misgender someone

Honestly, we can put this all behind us if you just apologize, and say I’m a man

Deal, bb?

[usaessays-blog]

Problem-solving

Problem-solving WATCH: The documentary Beware the Slenderman. This is available on the BB unit site under Assessment/Assessment 1 – Problem Solving Task folder.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEpW-WNr1KI This is the true story of two 12-year-old girls charged with attempted murder for the pre-planned stabbing of their friend, another 12-year-old-girl. [Time required: 1.54 hours) ATTEND AND/OR…

[almightyguardie]

my friend painted this on my back

[dzpenumbra]

6/14/23

Caught up on sleep today. Even with only 7 hours, the difference is absolutely night and day. Did yoga and today's exercise routine which was pretty upper body heavy. This one pushed me close to my limits. I still find it weird that I'm getting to the point of where my muscles kinda go weak and give out, but I still don't get sore. It's just odd to me.

I played a bunch of Rimworld. Kinda just spaced out and absorbed things on my secondary monitor as the game played itself. I always forget how much I love that game, it pulls me in so deeply. I could draw a map of the colony from memory at this point. I'm playing a Sanguophage scenario on Blood and Dust difficulty, pretty heavily modded, and I'm playing around with a map that's an island in the middle of a lake. It's challenging because you have limited area to build on, and getting to resources on the main landmass can be slow-going, but it offers extra security being completely surrounded by water. I'm starting to construct bridges too, so I can control the flow of where raids, caravans and my colonists go. I think having a big stockpile of wood for repairs would be good, then if raids start getting rough I can just put an incendiary IED on the bridge and let them blow it, to cut their own reinforcements off, then rebuild it after.

I've always played by sorta... making one general common room and then just expanding a complex off of that. So the whole colony is one giant building, basically. Then making walls and bunkers around that for extra security. But... I've been trying to break out of that lately, and build more realistically. I'm trying to build separate structures, and dedicated power for individual structures too, so that I can sorta... break dependency on a centralized power grid. At least to start, I'm curious how it's going to play out. But... this building style is much more space demanding... and I'm on a small island... so that limitation is going to likely keep population pretty low.

I'm tempted, as always, to record another playthrough. To make a story out of it, since it's always a story anyways. It's a little late for that, but... I'm tempted to do one in the format of journals kept in the colony. So the footage shows the events, and the journal is read as voiceover, reflecting on the events as we watch them unfold. I like the idea. I'm not crazy about the work involved. But hell, it's better than just playing and not making a series.

What I don't want to do is... play on stream and get backseated. I am so fucking eternally grateful that people can't fucking spoil a randomly generated game, I swear to god I will never play a game with a narrative on stream ever again. People are just children. I really don't understand it. What the fuck is the deal with people and spoilers. Or thinking they're being coy with spoilers, like "ohh... :D why don't you find out? <wink wink>" or... "ohh... this part PEPW" I just can't. It ruins it. It absolutely ruins it. The whole point of a story, a narrative, is... it's meticulously designed (or at least it's supposed to be...) with something called "pacing". Well crafted stories give you information at a deliberate pace, there's an art to it, you see what you're supposed to see, as a way of controlling the reveal. Feeding information like that ahead of time literally ruins the effect and intention of the entertainment medium. Permanently. You get no second try to see something for the first time. It is mindblowing to me that people who appreciate this medium of storytelling so much that they not only consume it themselves, but watch other people consume it as well... don't actually understand how it works. Or maybe they're just sadists. I don't really know which is worse.

Needless to say, I'm having doubts about playing games on stream if I get back into streaming. It's been crossing my mind again lately. Mostly because... I don't have Mods. It's really fucking hard to fluidly play a game, play tech support for your own stream, tell an in-depth improvised story and babysit full-grown adults with impulse problems who have been told multiple times to cut the shit and stop trying to control the damn stream. It tests my nerves, which I really don't like. I had tried really hard to be patient and nice to these people over the years. I explained at length to several of them exactly why backseating is shit. Why it ruins the playthrough, I even put "No Backseating" as a tag. It's really important. I need to fuck up. I need to forget things. Say someone drops in a transport pod and they're bleeding out and need to be rescued and they would make a great addition to the colony, and I go "okay, I'll get right to that" and wrap up some shit first, but I get distracted and that person bleeds out. That's big. That's an important plot point. That completely changes the story. I'd say... 1/3 of the story is what the game randomly generates. 1/3 is what I input into it as part of playing the game, the decisions I make and things I miss. And 1/3 of it is how I connect the dots to stitch a narrative. Those may not be even thirds, but all three are crucial components, and when one is compromised, the others (and the whole) suffer.

So, in the past, I made it very clear to people - because they do have good intentions, they're just approaching it like... helping someone solve a crossword puzzle, not like watching a movie... - I made it clear to people that periodically I will consult chat for their input on what they think we should do in certain circumstances, so they do get some input in how the story plays out. Anything outside of that, no. Pretty easy system to understand. But I still had regular problems, which is where a mod would come in.

Anyway... yeah, clearly streaming again is on my mind. I'm just hesitant. Same old reasons. Might just do it for fun just to prove to myself that it's not the end of the world.

I've been trying to connect the dots to get here. I did more work on the digital piece again today. The one I was getting bad vibes about. I went back in and deleted the prototype texture layers and made newer bigger ones, and it looks much better. But this piece is going to take fucking forever. Which, of course... led me to thinking about streaming it. Especially if I'm trying to get away from RP streams. I've actually detoxed off them pretty well lately. Mostly because the balance on the server just went to shit. It's 1985 and they're selling crowbars for over $70. $9 for a slice of pizza. "Immersion"... Every beat of how fucked the economy is on that server, a direct reflection of all the current problems going on today. Depressing. Seriously though, it really kills immersion in a setting that's specifically trying to capture a certain time period. Like... there are real-life price points for reference... But if you get a player base that knows that a crowbar is a game mechanic tool that is required to break open ATMs... and you have a server that allows players to own all hardware stores in the game and set the prices... You'd really hope they'd actually... roleplay like it's real life... and not take into consideration that these are the only tool you can use for that particular crime... You know, because it's roleplay... not a competitive video game... right? I mean surely they wouldn't be taking the fact that crowbars are the only tool for that specific criminal job into consideration when they jack the price of them... right? Right? <exasperated sigh> People just can't fucking help themselves. So yeah, it's kinda stressful to watch how much OOC and meta shit is going on in that server right now. Only took a month, well done people.

But yeah, as I was saying... before I got derailed for the thousandth time... I have been considering streaming my digital art because it would be easy as fuck. All I have to do is figure out the audio routing and I should be fine to just play tunes. And I have a ton of work left to do, so... plenty of material to work with. As long as I don't have to deal with DMCA bullshit, that's all I care about. I can break up the monotony with Session or Risk of Rain or even Noita. I can make it work.

So... the digi piece is coming along well. And this was after a false start with the pair of shorts I was going to ink a design into. It started with an image from the Papyrus of Ani with Anubis weighing the heart against the feather of Ma'at. And... I got sidetracked trying to translate the hieroglyphs... then subsequently getting myself back on track and trying to put a sketch on the pants but... the idea I wanted to do was put the design over the cargo pocket on these khaki colored shorts. I ironed the pants as flat as I could get, but I couldn't get the pencil sketch to show up visibly enough for me to be comfortable working with it. Then I went to a plan B, doing a sketch of an image of Thoth from the same Papyrus, sorta standing next to the cargo pocket... but it was just kinda weird location with it on the top and inner thigh of the pants... so I kinda scrapped the idea. I hate scrapping ideas, but I just don't think it's gonna work with these pants. I'll keep brainstorming and come up with something eventually.

After I finished working on the digital piece, I started throwing together my simple mala necklace. And... I don't know how I feel about it, honestly. It's... very simple. Like... 13 Tiger's Eye beads on a white-dyed piece of hemp. And I was going to knot them about an inch and a half apart. And that was going to be it. But... it's just... much more simple than I was envisioning. It kinda feels like it's... too simple. I like the white and different colored Tiger's Eye contrast. I like the idea of the knots. The spacing seems good enough that I don't have to put on a clasp, I can just make it a closed loop. I'm just tempted to fill the space between the stones with wooden beads. But if I do that... it's going to be a lot of them. I don't know, maybe I'm overthinking it and I should just make it, and if I don't like it after I finish it... I can just untie the knots and re-make it.

So yeah, that's kind where I'm at today. Lots of creativity today, happy about that. And not a lot of anxiety, which is nice. I think I only got anxious one time, watching some analysis video of The Matrix and realizing it came out... 24 fucking years ago... and that just... yeah. Oh boy... I remember being in middle school when that came out, I remember my friends would come over and we'd watch it in my family's living room on VHS. I think... I think that was before DVD was big. Yeah, I guess when I put it that way it was a long time ago... XD

Alright, enough rambling, tarot time because I want a shower before bed.

Past - VII: The Chariot, inverted (Taking action; setting goals and remaining focused.  Approaching obstacles with strategy, tenacity and courage.) Present - Page of Swords, inverted (Childlike awe and wonder, epiphany. Encountering wisdom but unable to process it.  Keen intellect, strong will, but lacks context and experience.) Future - Five of Wands (Competition, disagreement, strife, and the accompanying need to step up to the challenge, prove yourself and see it through.)

I'm going to keep my placeholder card hidden from me for now, I'm curious to see if it's relevant at the end of the reading.

This thread starts with The Chariot, inverted. I've kept glancing at The Chariot on my index in my Tarot Study doc for a few days now, it's one of the few of the Major Arcana that I hadn't gotten yet with this deck. In this position, I think this would kinda represent... struggling to put things into action, being hesitant and restrained. Like something is holding me back, and seeing courage pop up in that resonated a lot.

This is connected to a card I've gotten a few times recently, the Page of Swords, this time inverted. The Page of Swords feels to me like the image of someone really excited and inspired, but clumsy and inexperienced. And I'm kinda getting the vibe of... stuck with this one.

And this leads to... Five of Wands. Conflict... more specifically competition, I guess. Those are different things. Being challenged by others and having to rise to meet that challenge. Which I, being a very strict pacifist (aka "pussy"), have been deeply struggling with for a long time. But standing by your creations, your expressions, is an important part of being yourself in society. It's standing up for yourself.

So... my hesitation to move forward due to fear and kinda... being a bit disorganized... is leading to me being stuck in this state where I feel very knowledgeable and inspired, but very clumsy and naive... and this leads to being challenged by others, and having to defend myself. There's a definite trend of courage leading from origin to end here. Courage to drive The Chariot, courage to fail/learn as the Page of Swords, courage to stand up and prove yourself as the Five of Wands. If I were more courageous in The Chariot stage, there would be much more stability to work off of. If there was more courage in the Page, the slips and fuck-ups wouldn't be setbacks, merely bumps in the road. And all of that courage is essential for Five of Wands, in the end.

The placeholder card I had was Queen of Pentacles. A new one for me with a really long description that I skimmed through, but didn't really gather any of it because I really have to pee. Meh, points for trying. I'm off to bed.

[pensieri-e-parole-world]

#2

Passò una settimana, tutte le sue cose in giro per casa erano sparite. Rimase solo una stupida spazzola, la lasciai lì. Non la toccai, non sapevo se dovevo ridarla a lei o se potessi tenerla. Era l’unica cosa rimasta, se fosse venuta a prenderla, l’avrei rivista, ma non avrei più un suo oggetto. L’unica cosa che ci legava era quella spazzola, e i nostri ricordi iniziavano a confondersi nella mia mente.

Decisi di mandarle un messaggio. Dovevo vederla, parlarle l’ultima volta.

Heyy, scusa il disturbo, ma hai dimenticato la tua spazzola. Se la rivuoi te la posso portare oppure vieni a prenderla. 

Non sapevo se inviare o no. Lo cancellai e lo riscrissi un centinaio di volte. Chissà che cosa sta facendo in questo momento, magari si sta facendo la doccia, oppure sta scrivendo a qualcuno, o sta annotando i particolari della sua nuova vita sul suo diario. Spero che sia felice. Almeno lei. Io penso di aver perso quel treno. 

Questo numero è inesistente.

Pensieri-e-Parole-World

[pepnasty]

A badass denim jacket and a pink skirt from @missguided 💖 #babesofmissguided

[flmncoflmngo]

peanut butta jelly thyme