#POV of a computer program who loves the computer's user and just wants to spend time with them.

[roseverdict]

yall ever just. come full-circle and have a moment where you have to just sit there and process it?

completely unrelated but why can't i go over my tags in full in the mobile app post editor anymore? if i want to double-check my long tags i want to check them before i post it!!!

[acertaincritic]

The Last Jedi - Opinion

To say that I have mixed feelings about this movie would be a serious understatement. I have a chaos in my head, a tangle of let-down hopes, pleasant surprises, and above all else, my inner critic’s ramblings. One thing I can say for sure – it’s better than “The Force Awakens”. But I guess it doesn’t tell you much, eh? Well, let’s try and unpack this mess, shall we?

Heavy spoilers under the cut.

But I mean it.

I. Do. Not. Hold. Back.

Where do we start when all the words fail us? How do we begin to describe the infinity? Eh, I don’t know. But for this movie, let’s start with all the good things, and then dive right into the bad stuff. Pretty much like “The Last Jedi” does.

So… Characters. I was surprised to find that I actually came to like Finn in this movie. He’s proactive, he’s heroic, he’s got motivation – a solid character now, that guy. Rose I liked too, and Poe, and of course good ol’ Leia. Luke was outstanding, and even more so Kylo Ren. Almost every character (see who’s missing?) got better by miles; I was sincerely afraid for some of them, and sad to see others go. Whoever was the screenwriter, they’re definitely praiseworthy.

Next. Special effects, camera work, music… But I don’t really have to list these, do I? What else do we expect from a high-budget Disney movie these days? Scene writing – and directing – was pretty good too. An example: we pick up with Rey just where she ended in the last movie: offering Anakin’s lightsaber to Luke on a forgotten island… He takes it, and then throws it away like nothing – brilliant! That’s the last thing the viewer expects, but at the very same, it aligns very well with Jedi’s ideal of not getting attached to things. To Luke, a Jedi Master, this lightsaber means nothing. It’s a little twist, but a twist that makes sense.

There’s plenty of other fun moments too. Luke teaching Rey the first lesson about the Force? With a blade of grass? I cracked a smile then, and at many other occasions too. Unfortunately, at some point creators seem to have got lost in the form, and stopped caring about the substance – more on that in a second.

Kylo-Rey talks. I loved it. Even more I loved the way Luke-Kylo past was revealed, complete with the little tweaks. When Luke first gives his lie about how he just went to Kylo to talk, this is what we see on screen – a memory he wants to remember. When it’s Kylo’s turn, we see Luke from his POV – a mad killer ready to strike. When we finally get to know the truth, we can see how both the versions came to be, and the whole picture makes an awful lot of sense.

Kylo and Rey vs Snoke. There are problems with this scene, undoubtedly, but overall I would be willing to forget them if not for what followed. Before that, though – the way Kylo killed Snoke was just perfect. I was holding my fingers crossed the entire sequence, and was not let down. Just. Why couldn’t the movie end right then and there?

That would be this. All the pleasant surprises listed above. Should I let my inner critic speak now? And heck, he has a lot to say…

Troublesome worldbuilding and inconsistencies

This is something that I care the least for, when compared to the other stuff, but it’s still a huge problem. See, there are things in this movie that just don’t make sense, or render the past actions laughable. The most obvious thing – destroying a super big imperial ship by jumping into hyperspace for a split of second, then dropping out of it. And I ask – if that’s possible, why didn’t we see any other character do it? Where’re the hyper-drive based missiles, why didn’t the Rebellion use this trick anytime before? Judging by the scale of destruction, they could’ve easily destroyed a Death Star with it – no need for a suicidal mission for a few dozens of pilots, let’s just send a single kamikaze. Bah, if a human can do it, then all the more a droid or a well-programmed computer. We see the ball take control of an imperial walker after all, why can’t it steer a ship as well? No need for anyone to die, let’s just keep building droids and ships with hyper-drive… Oh no, actually, the Empire can do it as well! Look how funny the battle scenes look now – like two fleets of comets raining against each other. Well.

Time flow is another serious problem. We know that the plot is supposed to take 18 hours – and yet Rey manages not only to spend at least a day on Luke’s planet (it feels like much longer), but also to return to the Rebellion in time for her facedown with Snoke and Kylo. What happened? Previously, even travelling by hyperspace took long hours; now it functions like teleportation.

There’re many other problems like this, and I’m sure you’ll find science nerds to list ‘em all. I’ll stop at this – I believe you see the point. And, like I said, this is the least of the problems.

The Force and its philosophy

Long story short, the Force is pretty much omnipotent right now. The sky is the limit! No, wait, actually, the sky is but a little obstacle… After all, Luke’s got no problems fighting Kylo through the Force when he’s in some faraway point of the galaxy. The creators were careful enough not to show us any actual map, but even assuming that they were barely a system away, these are still light years apart. Even in the Prequel Trilogy, for all its flashy somersaults and prophetic dreams, Force Users were not wizards. They could fall to the fire of a few blasters, and they weren’t able to do much against a full unit of fighters. But here? Who cares! Everything can be done, starting with reading one’s entire mind, finishing at surviving in the vacuum for long minutes and even levitating to safety. Basically Jedi are the new Superman of the galaxy, ugh.

Don’t get me wrong. I like magic, and I like the concept of the Force as something more mystical than just ‘microorganisms living in one’s body’. Previously I was often irritated that the characters don’t use it as often as they could, or that they do something outstanding one moment to forget about it twenty minutes later. But here? Here the creators went over the top, then climbed up the Mount Everest, and then decided that they’re still too low. The perfect balance of Force abilities I found in “The Rebels” seasons one and two – here it’s completely broken.

Speaking about the balance… the philosophy is a problem as well. It’s clearly established that the balance of the Force means both the Dark Side and the Light Side. That when there’s great light, there’s also great darkness. The problem is, it doesn’t make sense. If that was the balance, then what about the Chosen One? Why would Jedi wait for him, knowing that he would have to destroy them? Bah, is there any sense fighting for the Light then? We know for sure that the evil will only rise again, because ~balance~. What kind of message is that?

See, previously, the balance of the Force was the Light Side. The Jedi’s philosophy was to surrender to the will of the Force, to preserve harmony. The Dark Side, on the other hand, was extracting your will over the Force. Literally forcing events to go your way. This was why Jedi had various colors of lightsabers, and the Sith only red. This was why Sith’s eyes would change color – to reflect that what they were doing wasn’t natural. Bah, eventually their bodies would rot and turn ugly, distorted. The Light Side Users didn’t suffer that.

Now it’s all over the place. And it doesn’t make sense. Honestly, I never found the idea of surrendering to an outside will compelling, but at least it was consisted and provided a great explanation as to why the Sith are evil, and the Jedi good. Sure, you can say that the Jedi Order eventually rotted and let Darth Sidious rise – but it was because of their complacency and tendency to choose meddling in the politics over guarding the galaxy, not because something was inherently wrong with their philosophy. Now it’s because it was necessary for the balance, apparently.

Structure problems

Putting the clumsy worldbuilding aside, the first two-thirds of the movie are really great. The characters get development. We learn about what happened between Luke and Kylo. Kylo and Rey are having their strange conversations, really enjoyable to watch and adding depth to both of them. Then their showdown with Snoke – and what a twist, Kylo kills his evil master in a clever moment of badassery. And the fight! And Finn and Rose get captured! And the rebel ships are being destroyed one by one! But eventually Kylo and Rey win – what a great finale!

Just that… it’s not the finale yet. There’s another twist – Kylo’s not good after all, he killed his master only to take his place! And the imperial ship got cut in half by a kamikaze attack, so Finn and Rose have to run away ASAP! And the rebels reach their old base, hurray! What a great fina–

No, wait! The baze is now under attack by Kylo! And nobody responds to the rebels’ call for help, and they’re trapped inside, they have to destroy the big-ass cannon that the imperials have brought, and Finn is ready to commit suicide to do so, what a great f–

But wait! Finn is saved by Rose, and Luke suddenly comes for the rescue, now he’s facing against Kylo, and–

Do you see it? There’s no finale in this movie. There’re a good few sequences that would work very well as the finale, if they stood alone. But they don’t – they come one by one, with little to no break in between. The first one’s great, the second a surprise, but the third is tiresome, and the fourth straight-out irritating. You just can’t hold your viewer on the edge for so long – they want a conclusion, not an endless cycle of ‘they almost made it but...’ And I must say, the twists are very cheap too. No foreshadowing whatsoever, no satisfaction when they happen – all save the Snoke scene. Why the creators didn’t decide to go through with what the story was clearly building up to is beyond me. It was perfect, it was interesting, it was against the tropes – and yet they turned around in the last moment. It’s like an overly elaborate matryoshka doll. You unpack a layer after a layer, at first interested but then progressively more annoyed, hoping to finally find the last, whole doll – but in the end there’s nothing inside, just empty air.

Seriously, I felt like the creators were jumping at me from behind the corner, crying, ‘Surprise!’, in their childish belief thinking that they are being clever. But you can laugh at a cheap trick like this once, twice, maybe even thrice – then you’ll find that you’ve had enough. You don’t want every corner to be a playground for the insistent kid. Pulling things out of your ass is not a plot twist.

Just too many unfulfilled promises. After this crazy ride, we ended up just where we started, with a very cliche ending. I can’t even express how massively disappointed I am.

Rey

When I was a child, I dreamt of a female Jedi, you know? I imagined countless little stories of kinda-my-insert training, and eagerly pinpointed female Jedi among the fallen ones in the “Revenge of the Sith” to prove to myself that it was possible.

Nevertheless, Rey is by far the worst Star Wars lead I have ever seen.

She’s nothing. She has no character at all. No writing, no backstory, no motivation to be a hero. Luke wanted to be a Jedi because he wanted to be like his father – and then he had to grow and mature when he discovered his father’s true identity. Rey doesn’t grow, doesn’t mature. You can’t grow something that is nonexistent in the first place.

Why did Rey help Finn and the rebels in “The Force Awakens”? Even Rose has her reasons – she gives us a story of how Empire destroyed her home planet. But what did Empire do to Rey? Nothing. It was her parents who left her on Jakku as a slave. Sure, she wanted to be free, have adventures, just like Luke. But she didn’t have to join rebellion for that. She could’ve just left them once she got off Jakku, become a smuggler, bah, an imperial officer even. Why not?

To Luke, Empire was what killed his father. He wanted revenge, in some extent, I’m certain. Sure, that conviction turned out to be false – but he didn’t know about it when he left Tatooine with Obi-Wan and Han Solo. Rey doesn’t have a motivation. There’s just this weak ‘because everybody can see that Empire is EVUIL, mwhahaha.’ But really, this is a meta reason and as such, should not be considered at all. We as the audience can see it – Rey cannot.

Worse, even. In the second movie, Luke had to face his own Dark Side. First in the cave, where he failed, then in the form of Darth Vader who turned out to be his father – the man Luke had strived to imitate. He thought that it meant becoming a hero, just to discover that he was so, oh so wrong. But at this point he had grown close with the rebellion, with Leia and Han. He had other reasons to fight.

Rey didn’t change in this movie. What was the point of her cave scene? She went in there, saw some funny vision, and went out. No shock, nothing learned. ‘But, Critic,’ you may say, ‘she had an arc this time – she wanted to find out who her parents are!’

No. Just no. Yes, it was mentioned several times, but it was also 100% superficial. It was as if the creators realized that hey, our protagonist is completely bland, we need to give her something – and decided that of course, searching for her parents would be the right thing. Luke had something similar, right? The problem is, this searching in no way reflects in Rey’s actions.

Had it really been an integral part of Rey’s character, she would have taken Kylo’s hand.

Why not? She supposedly struggled to accept the truth that her parents were nobody, that they sold her and then died somewhere away, that they didn’t want her – and here’s the guy that does want her, that begs her to join him. Why shouldn’t she take his offer? From what she knew, Luke abandoned his mission and preferred staying on his tiny island to saving the galaxy. Why shouldn’t she join Kylo, who had just saved her from Snoke, with whom she had faced against multiple opponents?

There’s only one reason – because it’s not what heroes do. But Rey has no reason to be a hero! Bah, she didn’t even need to learn from anybody, she was a perfect good girl from the start. She’s the one lecturing Luke about his duties, not the other way round. Even Yoda states that she already knows what it means to be a Jedi. How? Why? How dare you ask! She’s super powerful because, uhm, ah… I know! Because balance! Because when Dark Kylo grows stronger, then so does Rey, because she’s his counterpart in the Light.

Don’t you find it ironic? The creators pretty much admitted that Kylo was the one who did all the heavy lifting. Rey’s power isn’t something she achieved – she was given it by the Force for the sake of ill-understood balance, because Kylo worked hard to grow more powerful.

Blah. And the creators probably congratulate themselves on writing a strong female lead. How condescending can you get? I want a female Jedi as the lead – but I want a female Jedi who is a character, not a mere plot device with a ‘woman’ slapped on the back as her only characteristic. I’ll eagerly wait for one – right now, I can only turn to “Clone Wars” and Ahsoka.

That would be all. I’m pretty sure that I missed plenty of things – but I feel fulfilled nonetheless. Thank you for reading so far, and may the Salt be with you. Always.