#PJO Hermes

[softestaries]

Not Hermes dragging out their time at the casino by ranting to Percy Jackson about how difficult parenting is while Poseidon is literally waiting (🧍) to make amends with his son outside in the ocean as they speak

[waterisntreal]

Ok no Hermes saying “Do you know what that feels like? To be so close to someone you love, knowing neither of you has any choice but to keep hurting each other? I know you do” to Percy and then making him have a flashback to sitting in the back of a car in front what I’m assuming is a school looking sadder than a 10 year old has any right to be was absolutely CRIMINAL

[georgies-ftts]

Apollo theatre kids gonna be confused as fuck as to why their uncle is Alexander Hamilton

[apollosothertwin]

all of the younger olympians have different ways of dealing with grief

athena separates herself from the violence of war

hermes avoids his children so he doesn’t get attached

ares shoves it all down and puts on a mask of uncaring

dionysus changes the names of the demigods so he doesn’t remember them

hephaestus stays away from people, focusing on his machines

apollo just keeps on hurting while giving himself a mask of dumb blondness

[frozenrose20]

The more I see this man the more I understand Luke's betrayal cuz what on Earth are you doing at the casino sir go visit your kids! Go claim Chris! You mean to tell me that the master bolt was stolen and that Poseidon and Zeus are about to go to war and this man is just shooting dice!?

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

“Apollo is Zeus’s least favorite son-“

Me: *grasps you by the shoulders* NO. HE IS THE FAVORITE SON. LITERALLY WHO ELSE WOULD BE THE FAVORITE? ARES? THE GUY ZEUS LEFT IN A JAR AND SAID TO HIS FACE HE DESPISED HIM? HERMES? THE GUY WHO IS JUST THERE? HEPHAESTUS? THE GUY WHO AVOIDS OLYMPUS LIKE THE PLAGUE? DIONYSUS? THE GUY WHO IS CHAOTIC?

listen to me. LISTEN TO ME. *frantically shakes shoulders* THIS WILL SOUND BACKWARDS BUT IT MAKES SENSE.

ZEUS. PUNISHES. HIS FAVORITES. WITH. THE WORST. PUNISHMENTS.

therefore, we can conclude Apollo is the favorite and Dionysus as second favorite son.

also Apollo is mythologically the favorite son. so.

BIG OL’ PILE OF ANGST POTENTIAL!

[bright-eyes-strawberry-lies]

I love Luke so much. He's so spicy.

[anotheroceanid]

Triton “I’m not particularly interested in my half-blood brother’s life, I just think…” ‘s opinions on some of Percy’s relationship outside the seafam:

Chiron: Should’ve been more careful with Percy, but overall okay given Chiron being an obviously underpaid and overworked old man

Grover: He likes him. It’s pity he didn’t marry Polyphemus, it’d be nice to have him in the family and maybe he would convince good old Polyphemus to start a healthier diet

Luke: Bad thing he betrayed Olympus, blah blah blah, but in a positive light he left camp before Percy’s hero worship turned into something more 👍

Annabeth: She… oh… okay… I guess I can’t write that, Triton. I’ll leave it here that you are strongly against her near your brother. What? No, I won’t say that either. What does Athena and Pallas have to do with this… Okay, enough. Next!

Apollo: Again, I can’t write that. I cannot call the god of sun a [redacted]!!! Okay, I’ll leave the message. Directly quoting Triton (not my words, Triton’s) “I know things about you, cradle robber. Don’t make me come for you!”

Hermes: Not bad. He’s happy that at least one god has restraining. Keep distance, either way. In fact, STOP visiting Percy with presents you were NOT allowed to gift him with.

Thalia: Surprisingly alright about their friendship, laments that she is the daughter of who she is, but she’s got points since she doesn’t like her father much, too.

Hazel: Best half-blood around (after Percy, ofc), says he’d like to have her and Frank over to dinner any day at the palace.

Frank: Basically family, he totally approves of Percy’s friendship with him. Pity he’s Roman and child of Mars, “no one is perfect, I guess”

Nico: In the name of Lady Amphritite, Lord Triton is asking you to eat more healthily. Mostly okay and “Don't crush on Percy again, if you know what's good for you.”

Jason: Roman. Jupiter. Multiple hisses… I don’t know what he meant with it, but whatever.

Beckendorf: He’s ranting for three hours about how great Beckendorf was. Terms such as “Honorary Percy’s Big Brother” were used.

Rachel: Very nice mortal. Poor taste in patrons, though.

[bullshit-and-sticks]

Hermes : my son.. pride is NOT the word i am looking for

[literallyjusttoa]

Two rough sketches about how being one of the only Olympians with one (1) functioning parent probably made Apollo way more prepared for Hermes and Dionysus. Apollo has been the number 1 coolest parent sibling for the past 4000 years.

[purpleshadow-star]

Listen, Lin Manuel Miranda ate as Hermes. Anyone who disagrees is simply wrong. Idk what to tell you.

[demi-gods-posts]

Pjo but Hestia has her own cabin and unclaimed kids go there because she’s the goddess of the house and home. So 1: the Hermes cabin isn’t so crowded and 2: so they can get claimed faster if all the unclaimed kids are in one area.

[r-u-living]

HEADCANNON

All of the Demigods in camp-half blood have some sort of useless power.

Zeus: Can (kinda) predict where lighting will strike

Poseidon: Always get the best waves when surfing

Hades: Don't feel sick looking at pictures of dead bodies

Demeter: Make a BANGING fruit salad

Apollo: His kids can -and will- stare at the sun (just to freak their dad out)

Hermes: Can always bond with middle children (even if not middle child themselves)

Athena: Never get papercuts

Ares: Can always get people angry enough to fight. (Only if it's a topic their passionate about)

Aphrodite: Never get frizzy hair.

Hephaestus: Always screw, screws the right way first time

Dionysius: People always seem to forget the time around them.

Hestia: Can cook food perfectly on a raw fire

(Minor Gods)

[goblinwithartsupplies]

This is not my original post it belongs to @caffeinatedflumadiddlebutpjo who deleted their account but it’s so good and needs to be preserved

I like that there is just... A noticeable gap in the gods' under standing of mortal children. Like, Zeus really accused a TWELVE-YEAR-OLD of stealing his master bolt and the only justification I have for this is "Well, Hermes stole Apollo's cattle right after birth so that tracks".

But now I have a theory that the gods don't rediv understand how mortal

children work and that's why they're so blase about sending them to do ridiculous nonsense?

Like...

Zeus: What do you mean 'first word'? Why would they only speak one word?

Artemis: Humans can only cry when they are born.

Zeus: Nonsense. When vou were born you didn't cry. You delivered your brother and then came to me to ask for a birthday present.

Artemis: Humans aren't the same though. They can't walk or talk for many months. When they do speak it is only in small, short words.

Zeus: …that's not true

Artemis: I'm afraid it is

Zeus, under his breath: What the fuck

Later on...

Zeus: Did you know human babies can't speak when thev're tirst born?

Poseidon: that's so sad. Are demigods like that?

Zeus: I have no idea.

Poseidon: Mavbe we should ask around more. Athena was saying something about brain development.

Zeus: Their... THEIR BRAINS AREN'T DEVELOPED?!?!

Poseidon: I guess

Zeus: THESE HUMANS ARE WALKING AROUND WITHOUT FULLY FORMED BRAINS?!

Poseidon: I mean, so are you and I don't complain.

The quest continues...

Hermes: So... you're telling me that human kids don't know how to fend themselves at all? They need to be taught? I mean, fighting, of course, but outside of that???

Poseidon: Yeah, I thought it was like fish

where you just naturally know what you’re supposed to do. But apparently they have no idea and need to be shown everything

Hermes: I... that's awful. Why?

Poseidon: I don't know.

Suddenly all the gods are very concerned...

Ares: You mean to tell me that my kids are probably traumatized from war??

Hermes: That's what the research shows. Human kids aren't supposed to handle that kind of stuff and demigods are more human than we anticipated.

Ares: But... War?

Hermes: Idk what to tell you, bud. I'm beginning to understand why they hate us tho.

Everyone is naturally panicking

Demeter: YOU SENT MONSTERS AFTER MY BABIES WHEN THEY HAD NO BRAINS AND COULDN'T EVEN READ?!?

Hecate: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT DEMIGODS WEREN'T BORN KNOWING HOW TO READ!?!?!

Athena: Our children all have dyslexia.

Demeter: YOU LET YOUR DAUGHTERRUN AWAY WHEN SHE WAS SEVEN! SILENCE!

Athena:…And? She is very mature and had my protection. I'm not like the rest of you. rhave done my researcn on humans and led her accordingly.

Apollo: Think of it this way, Athena. She would have just started losing baby teeth when she left home.

Athena: What?

Apollo: According to my son, they shed teeth. Like, they fall out and get new, bigger ones when they re old enougn. Didn't you know that?

Hades: That's disgusting. Our children do that?

Athena: I... That's not true! Your son is a liar!

Apollo: I AM THE GOD OF TRUTH!

It's a whole thing on Olympus

Hephaestus: Wait, they NEED to eat?!?! It isn't just for fun???

Hermes: What about water???

Dionysus: How do none ot vou know these things. Maybe you all should be camp directors for awhile-

Hades: Eight hours? They need EIGHT hours of sleep? A Day? There's no way NICO Is getting that much..

Dionysus: Oh, are they? Yeah lol. None of them are getting that much.

Aphrodite: Oh my gods... What happens if they don't get enough? Do they become ugly? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE MY KIDS UGLY?!

Zeus: They're so fragile. Why are they even allowed out of the camp?! Chiron, explain!

Chiron: You... Uh, ask them to do stuff for you?

All of Olympus: *flips a table*

[apollosothertwin]

After ToA, Hermes is very surprised that Apollo has actually changed. His whole philosophy is that god can’t change, and Apollo breaks all of that down

[frozenrose20]

Greek myth retellings are so funny to me because what do you mean these are all the same person