#PEOPLE KEEP FORGETTING THAT SHE WAS ABSOLUTELY TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF DURING HER GRIEF AND ITS DISGRACEFUL

[justallamaimaginingthings]

Goodbye [Jorah Mormont x Reader]

Request: "Because the finale made me angsty could u do a jon snow or Jorah Mormont x reader that takes place during ep. 3 and the reader is killed and then turned into a wight and they are forced to fight her? Maybe they don’t know she is dead until they see her turned?" by anonymous

"22 with jorah? My heart is broken" by anonymous

A/n: Stress is making me an absolute bitch, so I thought you should all suffer with me. Please enjoy the angst. Plus, I feel like I've been only writing for Jorah these days and even though he's one of my faves, the next ones will be about Jon (will probably also write this one about him too), Oberyn, Jaqen and more.

Prompt: 22: "This isn't goodbye"

Words: 2000ish  ||  GoT Masterlist

His reason

That’s what you were for Jorah, the reason why he stayed strong through everything, the reason why he kept trying even in the darkest of times, the reason why he carried on. If it weren’t for you he would have given up long ago but you were what kept him standing, his anchor and his light in the darkness. He couldn’t imagine a life without you by his side and that’s why he insisted so much on the fact that you shouldn’t fight in the Battle of Winterfell.

“I can take care of myself” you argued stubbornly and even though Jorah knew that to be a fact, it wasn’t enough to ease his worry. Having seen you risk your life multiple times since the two of you met, Jorah knew that sometimes your bravery overcame logic, getting into dangerous situations without hesitation in order to do what was right. And even though he admired your sense your courage and determination, your recklessness had pushed him to become more protective towards you.

“Y/n, this is an enemy unlike any other we’ve ever faced before. This is death��� he pleaded and you had never seen such a desperate look on his face. It was a battle you were probably going to lose and you both knew it, but you would certainly fight it. The Starks had never been the ones to give up, after all, and neither were you.

“Jorah there is no way in seven hells I’ll stay in a crypt while you and every other person I know and love fight against the dead. I need to do this” you insisted. Truth was you’d never forgive yourself if something happened to him and you hadn’t been there. A long time ago you had made a promise and you were determined to keep it. Jorah had known you would not give up easily, just like you had never done so in the past. He couldn't help hoping this time would be different though.

And it was at this moment the horns of Winterfell rang.

“Please” he begged framing your face with both his hands.

“Fear not, my love for this isn’t goodbye, I promise” you replied pulling him into a fervent kiss. Jorah's fear and worry was evident as his grip on your waist was tighter than ever, holding you close to his chest as he tried to put all his feeling into the kiss.

If there was one thing you took pride in that was being a person of your word. Not a single one of the promises you had ever given were broken, even the smallest and more insignificant ones. And out of all, this one turned out to be the one you wouldn’t be able to keep. The moment you saw the wights surrounding Daenerys, you knew there was no possible way you’d come out of this alive.

“I’m sorry” you whispered shooting a sorrowful look towards the castle of Winterfell, knowing Jorah was somewhere in there fighting for his life. Quickly turning your eyes away, the grip on your sword tightened to the point where your knuckles turned white as you ran towards your Queen. Cutting and slicing through the undead you made your way towards her just in time to cut off the hand that was extending towards her hair.

“Y/n?” She asked in a trembling voice.

“Stay behind me. We just have to make it to the walls” you yelled in order to be heard through the cries of the battle. She nodded before surprising the both of you by picking up a fallen sword. Looking at her, you gave the most reassuring smile you could muster. By that time a bunch of wights had gathered around you and it seemed like each one you killed was replaced by two more. Soon you were so tired you could barely hold your sword in your hands, but you refused to give up even after having taken multiple hits.

By the time Drogon flew above you, grabbing Daenerys in his wing and helping her ride him, you were a bleeding wreck. Your hands were shaking in exhaustion and the slightest action caused an immense wave of pain course through your body. Drogon turned around in the sky, heading back to your aid and for a second you believed that maybe there was a way out. That was your mistake, hope. A wight took advantage of your distraction and kicked you to the ground. Your sword fell out of your hand and by the time you grabbed it, four of the undead creatures had gathered around you.

The last thing you remember was Danny's heart wrenching outcry as a cold piece of metal pierced through your chest.

Since the moment Jorah had lost sight of you, a dreadful feeling of fear had taken its place in the back of his mind only getting stronger as time went by and upon hearing Drogon's sorrowful shriek he realized something had actually happened. The newfound sense of horror sent another wave of adrenaline through his veins as he sliced his way through wights. However, there seemed to be a never ending number of creatures rushing into the castle to replace the ones they managed to kill.

Jorah's face was covered in cuts and bruises and every muscle in his body ached in exhaustion as he fought off as many of the creatures as possible with only one thought burning through his mind. He needed to know you were fine because of you didn't make it nothing of this would matter. Looking around he had the chance to observe the absolute hell that was taking place around him. There was almost no hint of light, forcing the soldiers to fight in near darkness and the sound of metal clashing against metal was deafening, mixing with the pained cries of the injured to create an atrocious symphony.

The situation was already turning out to be increasingly tough for the living when the first bodies began rising. Everywhere he looked there was a hauntingly pale pair of emotionless eyes staring back at him as every one of the fallen was resurrected. The scene seemed to be taken out of a nightmare as Jorah was forced to turn against his own friends and allies, killing people he had seen and talked to less than hours ago. Despite knowing those he once knew were long gone, each time his sword hurt one of them something deep inside him shattered.

But fate's cruelest turn was yet to be revealed.

The sight Jorah was faced with when he turned around was one that actually broke him. Your once beautiful and warm eyes had turned pale blue, completely void of emotion as you turned to look at him without showing any signs of recognizing who he was. Jorah couldn't bring himself to step back as your familiar figure headed towards him. Stepping out of the shadows, a ray of light shone on your body allowing Jorah to see the massive blood stain covering your whole chest.

"No…" he whispered trying to tear his eyes off you. No, this wasn't you, his Y/n was long gone and standing in front of him was a sadistic joke fate was playing on him. An inhuman growl passed through your lips causing Jorah's blood to turn to ice. The same soft and sweet pair of lips he would never get enough of.

As your form moved closer, Jorah was barely enough to step back so that he could avoid your sword swinging at him. Taking another step back, his back hit the wall as his heart sank in his chest. There was only one way out of this but the man couldn't even bear the thought of what he had to do. Jorah's heart clenched in agony as he observed you for what he knew to be the last time. You were the same person he had loved and at the same time something completely different. The stance of your body was cold and unnatural and it no longer radiated the kindness and passion it used to. That was only a puppet wearing your features.

Your sword landed inches away from his face, managing to deliver a small cut on his cheek but he was too numb to notice the drops of blood making their way down his face resembling bloody tears. Managing to pick up the sword once more another hit was about to be blown when Jorah's sword plunged right into your once beating heart causing your body to drop down.

"Forgive me, my love" Jorah's quivering voice whispered as he caught your already cold body before it hit the ground, falling into his knees in the process "Forgive me" he repeated before breaking down in tears as strangled sobs escaped him. At that moment Jorah could feel his heart collapsing into his chest as it was replaced by an empty cold feeling. Leaning his head on your shoulder he allowed himself to break down as he hugged you close.

How he hoped to feel your arms wrap around him and hear your sweet voice reassuring him it was all going to be fine, to be able to kiss your lips and see the smile that made him forget about the world. Playing back your last conversation, your words replayed in his mind. This isn't goodbye, you had promised and what a bittersweet irony that was. In some way this was his fault. If he had convinced you to stay back, if he had kept you next to him during the battle, if…

But it was too late. You were gone and there was nothing he could do to get you back. Jorah's grief was so overwhelming he didn't notice when the dead started collapsing around him. Either way, it didn't matter anymore. Even if he lived, Jorah knew his heart died that night and nothing would ever be the same.

He didn’t know how much time had passed until the tears stopped and he just sank down, unable to weep anymore. Refusing to let go of you, he stayed there brushing away the strands of hair the wind blew into your face. He didn't acknowledge the cold that creeped into his armor for the cold he felt in his soul was much more dangerous, already eating away at him.

It was almost dawn when Grey Worm found him standing next to your body with a devastated look on his eyes as despair and anguish were written all over his face. Jorah resisted any attempts to be taken away from you, not ready for it to be the last time he laid eyes on you. It took three Unsullied to finally carry him away.

After that everything seemed unreal. Daenerys and many others offered their regrets but it was like words had lost their meaning. Jorah felt nothing but a gaping void increasingly growing in his chest. The next day went by without him realizing it when he was given a torch and led right outside the walls of Winterfell.

Seeing your body lay on top of the wooden pile a sickly sense of heartache dominated his heart and soul once more. By the time he reached next to your body, tears were blurring his vision as he took a deep breath in a failed attempt to regain his composure. It was the last time he'd ever see you and there were millions of things he wanted to say forming a knot on his throat yet he stayed silent. Leaning down he left a soft kiss on your forehead, wincing at how cold your skin felt.

"Do you really believe it's possible?" you asked looking up at Jorah trying to hide the melancholy from your voice. Daenerys has been nothing but a fair and just ruler for as long as you had known her, but that was in Essos. Westeros was a completely different story, much more complex and cruel.

"What are you talking about my love?" Jorah's smooth voice made a shiver run down your spine despite the warmth both the warm covers and his body provided.

"A better world" you explained, snuggling even closer to his chest and leaning your head on his shoulder listening to his rhythmic heartbeat. The weight of the question caused the relaxed atmosphere to switch slightly and you almost regretted speaking. Moments of calm and quiet were extremely rare between the two of you.

"We've made it this far, haven't we?" he replied appearing certain of his words, but the tightening of his grip around your waist let you know he wasn't as confident as he aspired to appear.

"We have…" you agreed "And we should keep trying, you know. For a better world"

A better world, that was what Jorah had fought for, but now that the end was almost there, the one person he wanted to share it with was gone and Jorah found himself completely lost once again. It was supposed to be your world, the one the two of you would share after it was all over.

No, he had to be strong. The world you had always dreamt was still in danger and there was no time for grief. You may be gone, Jorah realized, but your dream carried on. That world you had fought and died for was awaiting, calling for him.

"For a better world…" he whispered shoving back his tears. The war was not over and Jorah knew he needed to give his everything into making the world that would surface after all the bloodshed and destruction be one of kindness and compassion. At that moment, Jorah made a vow to do whatever it took to help build this world you so much desired.

Sorrow and regret would have to wait because this was a time of hope.

And Jorah was determined to fight for it even if it killed him.

For a better world

For you