#Or maybe it's spymaster hubert that needs my insight into covert privacy practices...

[nerdnag]

"Now then, Sunshine," Hubert said, plucking a fresh sheet of parchment from the corner of his desk and readying his quill. "Tell me about this person you wish to bring into Lady Edelgard's service."

"Really, Hubert, you should be ashamed not to have heard of my dearest Sara before!" Constance crowed. She unfurled her fan purely to brandish it for dramatic effect. "Her talent for the magical arts is simply extraordinary! Th-though, no match for my own, of course…" she added nervously.

"Yes, yes, your magical prowess is unparalleled," Hubert intoned, waving a dismissive hand yet smiling fondly. "Continue."

Constance stomped her foot. "Hubert! Have you forgotten which of us is the more skilled with Morfean magic?! Anyway… Sara is really quite accomplished in her field! She is trusted with the most important clients, and many of her coworkers rely on her expertise and insight. It is marvellous how skillfully she interprets contracts of privacy law and explains them to others! And the other day, she came up with a most revolutionary Excel formula as well! Why, I believe that with the proper training, she and I could truly be Sister Sages of the highest calibre!"

"And that is not all," Constance continued on. "No no! Sara has many talents off the battlefield as well! She pens the loveliest stories. In fact, you should read the wondrous tale I commissioned her to write about our activities on our wedding night—"

Hubert choked on his coffee.

"And she draws quite skillfully also!"

"Please tell me you didn't commission a painting to go with that story," Hubert groaned, head in his hands.

"Oh, no, I mainly commission her to paint flattering portraits of myself," Constance replied airily. "One of my favourites is a particularly striking one of me against a starry sky that I'm sure you shall like to see sometime!"

"Ah, but I can see you against a starry sky any night I wish, lovelier than any painting."* Hubert smirked as Constance flushed and began fanning herself, clearly flustered.

"I— yes, well—" Constance took a moment to compose herself again. "Let me finish telling you about my dearest Sara's redeeming qualities! She is an excellent friend: a joy to be around, and her presence is sure to brighten one's day. She is funny and kind, and, dare I say, very nearly as charming as myself!"

"I see. She does sound quite promising." Hubert put down his pen. "I shall have to conduct a background check, of course."

"Is my word not enough?!" Constance protested. "Need I remind you that for all your repute as Imperial spymaster, you had not even heard of such a dazzling star as is Sara before?"

"Need I remind you who it was that brought Epimenides himself into our midst?" Hubert shot back, but there was no real fire in his voice. "Based on your personal recommendation, I shall expedite the process. If all goes well, we will send this Sara a formal offer by the end of the moon."

Constance huffed, unable to argue the point. "I suppose that is agreeable enough."

"It's settled, then. Now, I believe we have tea with Lady Edelgard to be getting to." Hubert stood and offered Constance his arm. "Shall we, my dear Countess Vestra?"

Constance took it, positively glowing at the form of address. "Yes, Count Vestra, we shall!"

* Eifie double dog dared herself to write this line.

OH. MY. GOD?! You wrote this for me..? 😭💚

Original Eifie work! So cleverly written!! Lots of references to my fic and little details about me and incredibly well-characterized! You even went out of your way to include romo 🥹

THE EXCEL FORMULA ASDFGHJKL it truly is like magic. Also I LOVE the idea that every single art work and fic I've ever made of/about Constance has been commissioned by her. That is hereby canon.

Thank you for taking me into consideration for the position!! 🙏 (Though I must admit I'm a little scared of what Hubert's background check will mean for me......)