#One Direction - Live While We're Young (Behind The Scenes) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

daydreamkissesxo · 4 months ago

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Antonio Dawson x reader | baby daddy.

warning: (18+, mature) this story contains smut!

Part 1

Voight and the team eagerly gathered around the board centred in the bull pen, evidence of an old case now pinned up against it as Voight guided them through the necessary information.

"So, we're looking for this prick right here." Voight pointed up at the prison mugshot of your father, one he'd taken on a less serious charge than he'd inevitably face now.

"Previously incarcerated for assault and attempted murder, now he's thinks he's the fucking godfather. Got a whole community behind him, and a hit list longer than my arm." Voight watched as everyone's gaze shifted to the board, stepping aside before lifting his hand to tap the photo beside your father's. "His wife, childhood sweetheart and the mother to his only daughter."

The photo beside your mothers was yours, one your friends had previously taken of you on one of your recent vacations to Greece.

Voight glanced over at the team but one member in particular caught his attention immediately, Antonio.

There was something more than curiosity lingering behind his eyes, he was truly engrossed in the photo on display.

Antonio was aware of the clear age gap between the two of you, but that didn't stop him from admiring the way your breasts almost spill from the tiny bralette you chose to wear, the sunkissed glow that was only highlighted beneath the beach bar's bright lights.

"See something you like, Dawson?" Voight asked as he directed his attention towards him, the rest of the team soon following.

"No, no. Just taking it all in." Antonio replied, attempting to sound as convincing as he could while his cock throbbed almost painfully.

Voight wasn't convinced, but he couldn't care less as there were more important things occupying his mind.

Upon turning away, he tapped your photo on the board with the tip of his index finger.

"This is Y/N, the only daughter of this wannabe mobster. She's our key to getting close to him, and I need someone to go in undercover and woo her hard enough to get there."

Adam raised his hand which brought out an amused chuckle from Antonio, there was no way he was going to let Ruzek take the job.

"I'll go in." Antonio said, completely cutting Adam off before turning to look over at him.

"You think her dad is gonna trust someone as young as you? No. He'd trust someone who's been in the scene longer, someone he can relate to."

Adam looked oddly offended yet he couldn't stop the smirk creeping its way onto his face.

"There's a slight age gap here. You not worried you're old enough to be her dad?"

Antonio chuckled sarcastically, pushing himself up off his desk before roughly patting Adam's shoulder.

"Experience comes with age, pretty boy. Trust me, she'd pick me over you any day." He said confidently, dropping his hand as he walked away.

Antonio barely slept the night before your meet, curiosity kept his mind active.

He hadn't been able to stop thinking about you since leaving the precinct, you were the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on.

He combed through every social media profile you owned, desperate for further insight into your life.

It was easy to see how freely you lived, your posts varied from extravagant city breaks to endless shopping trips.

He could have spent all night looking through the photos, but sleep was the only way for time to pass fast enough so the day you'd meet would finally come.

Antonio had never rolled out of bed fast enough that morning, his heart was already racing with adrenaline and he wasn't even in your presence yet.

His shirt was pristinely ironed, his hair slicked back neatly and he'd even worn his finest cologne which Adam repeatedly pointed out during their meet at the surveillance van.

"What cologne is that? I think my dad wears it." He bit back a laugh, nudging Kevin's side playfully.

"You know, if you worked as hard as you did cracking jokes, the city could finally sleep." Antonio glared up at him before glancing down at his belt to continue readjusting it.

Once comfortable, he slipped the newly tapped phone into his pocket before lifting a hand to gently hover over his perfectly slick hair, ensuring not a piece had fallen free.

"How you planning on woo'ing her?" Asked Kevin as he looked up from the screen in front of him.

"I can get you some viagra if you're struggling to keep it up these days, heard it happens as you get older. I know a guy." Interrupted Adam, on the verge of bursting into laughter.

"Yeah? You go there often?"Antonio snapped back, running his hand down his pristine shirt to smooth out the tiniest of wrinkles.

"How I woo her is none of your concern, let's just focus on the job."

With the surveillance van parked across the street, Antonio stood at the entrance of the bustling bar with growing nerves.

Upon entering, he was met with the attention of several clearly unsettled regulars and a cocktail of scents.

His eyes met every corner of the room in search of you, and it wasn't long before he'd finally spotted you.

He took a moment to admire you from afar, he never knew such beauty could exist.

He cleared the cluster of nerves from his throat, attempting to look around in search of a free seat to avoid any possible suspicion.

Antonio took the seat at the bar beside you, the radiating scent of your perfume hit his nostrils as instantly as he'd sat. The scent was so intense it almost knocked him off the barstool, that paired with your presence had his heart fluttering like a prepubescent boy.

You hadn't acknowledged him yet, and for that he was grateful. Everything he'd planned out before entering the bar had vanished from his mind at the sight of you alone, he had seconds to fully prepare himself and he was panicked.

You abruptly ended the conversation with the girl beside you as the sudden scent of men's designer cologne hit, turning your head very slightly you then noticed the man sat beside you.

You looked him over intriguingly before turning your body to fully face his, your heart excitedly skipping a beat as your eyes unintentionally meet his.

He nervously chuckled and averted his gaze, such simple actions made you feel so incredibly powerful, did you always have that effect on people?

"Can I buy you a drink, handsome stranger?" You asked, your voice dripping in seduction which caused Antonio to smirk as Adam's comment about age sprung to mind.

Antonio turned to look at you, the mischievous twinkle in your eye made his heart flutter.

You smiled as he nodded, motioning over the bartender to order the best bottle of bourbon whiskey on the menu.

You were practically undressing him with your eyes and it didn't go unnoticed, Antonio felt hot and flustered under your seductive gaze but he had to pull himself together for the task.

"Do you always buy handsome strangers a drink?" He asked playfully, placing his hand on the bar just inches from yours, the tip of his index finger brushing against your pinky.

Your heart skipped a beat at the slight touch, taking this as a sign that he was just as interested in you as you were him.

"A man has never let me buy him a drink before. Men usually want me tipsy, hoping I'll give in to their pathetic advances." You smirk, pulling your hand away as you watch the bartender place the bottle down.

"Is that what this is? You wanna get me tipsy?" Antonio smirked, watching as you pour the bourbon.

His playful tone made you smile, this encounter was far different from any you'd ever had with a man before.

"Fuck, you've caught me." You joked, rolling your eyes playfully before placing the glass in front of him.

He reached for your hand as you started to retract it, he held it gently before lifting it to his lips to press a tender kiss to your knuckles.

Your heart fluttered so violently you almost winced, your eyes scanning between his lingering lips and the gentle gaze that stared back at you.

"You're so beautiful Prinseca." He whispered, his lips brushing against your delicate skin before slowly lowering your hand but continuing to hold it.

You'd heard that compliment a thousand times before, but this particular one made you physically incapable of responding.

Antonio knew you were taken back by his forwardness but he shrugged it off, reaching for the glass you'd set in front of him to throw the bourbon back.

You watched his every move in amazement, attempting to gain some control over your newly paralysed vocal cords.

"I'm Mateo." He smiled, his thumb slowly caressing your knuckles.

You briefly glanced down at your hand, watching how delicately he touched you, while you could only dream for a slightly harsher touch.

"Y/N.." you replied, your eyes meeting his once more, your darkened pupils immediately noted by Antonio.

"I bet your dad nearly has a heart attack every time you leave the house."

Your smile brightened with amusement, shaking your head slightly in disagreement.

"Thankfully not. As long as I'm not getting into trouble, he doesn't care where I go.."

Antonio thought it was quite sad, your father was too preoccupied with his own affairs that he'd let you roam so freely with no care or concern.

He could now confidently confirm that you were clueless to your father's source of income and he was thankful for that.

"He'd probably kill you if he saw how close we were sitting though." You smirked playfully, glancing down at the very small gap that separated your knees from touching one another's.

He chuckled, shrugging it off. "Yeah? Well then I'd die a very happy man."

You giggled as he winked, your infectious smile causing Antonio to smile too.

As the night went on, the two of you spent hours conversing about multiple topics, all lead by Antonio as he was practically conducting an investigation of his own.

You'd shared personal stories about your childhood and the absence of your father growing up, money very clearly bought your silence as you never dared to complain about your upbringing.

He didn't shy away from physical affection for comfort, occasionally caressing your knee or softly stroking your hair.

Each gentle touch felt like you were being edged, he could have changed the direction of the night many times but he wanted you to be the one to do it.

You placed your hand on his knee, giving it a gentle squeeze before slowly leaning closer, purposely bringing your barely clothed breasts closer to him.

"Why don't we go and get room service?" You asked in a seductive tone, sliding your hand up and down his thigh a little.

He knew he shouldn't, he knew he could possibly lose his job, but he was ready to risk it all for just a singular night of passion.

"Lead the way baby." He replied, allowing you to take his hand and lead him through the bar and into the back towards the attached hotel lobby.

Once clear of a crowd, Antonio tugged at your hand to spin you around to face him.

You lightly collided with his chest, your hand pressed against his peck as you gently push yourself back to gaze up at him in confusion, your mind immediately assuming the worst.

His arm slithered around your waist, his hand settling on your lower back as he pulled you against him, your breasts forced against his chest.

He saw the nervous glint in your eye, you'd had no experience with a man of his age and he was determined to be both the first and last.

He watched as your lips started to part, assuming it was to ask him something, but he immediately cut you off with a burning kiss.

You instantly reciprocated his kiss, your hand slowly gripping a fistful of his shirt in desperation.

You stumbled back in an attempt to lead him towards your room yet the two of you never came apart, he closed in the gap you'd unintentionally created.

Hotel guests watched in disgust as the two of you passed by, unable to keep neither your hands nor your lips from each other.

Each time you tried to create just a small amount of distance to catch your breath, Antonio pulled you right back in.

Your back collided with the wall as he pinned you against it, his hands groping your breasts before falling to your waist.

"Where's your key, baby girl?" He whispered against your lips, one of his hands falling to your outer thigh before his fingers slipped beneath the hem of your dress to graze your skin.

Your hands desperately unbuttoned his shirt, gasping excitedly against his lips as hands roamed his toned abdomen as his shirt now hang open.

"In my bra." You replied, pulling back from his kiss to plant several wet kisses against his exposed collarbone.

He wasted not a second longer, slipping his hand past the confinement of your bra in search of the key.

He groaned softly as his fingertips graze your nipple, groping your unclothed breast before retrieving the keycard.

He pulled back to glance down at the room number engraved on it, stepping back before reaching for your hand to lead you towards it.

His heart excitedly skipped a beat as he heard the click of the door signalling it was open, and like a gentlemen he then held it open for you to walk in.

You waited for Antonio to follow you in before shoving him against the door to close it, kissing him passionately.

Your hands roam his bare chest as he walks you towards the bed, his hands sliding around your lower back and down towards your ass to grope it.

Antonio wrapped his fingers around the hem of your dress either side, almost tearing it as he rushed to pull it up and over your head.

Your hair fell back into place perfectly, you were left in the light pink lace lingerie you'd thankfully chosen to wear.

He groaned in pure arousal as his eyes roam your semi naked body, you looked so pristine and he just had to corrupt you.

Your eyes fell to his hands as he fumbled with his belt, you immediately reached for his hands to pull them away and replace them with your own.

He felt a sense of relief as his jeans were loosened, allowing you to drag them down past his hips so they pool around his ankles.

He grabbed hold of your cheeks, forcing you to look up at him before his lips came crashing down on yours.

"Go and sit on the bed like a good girl." He whispered as he pulled away.

You did as instructed, taking a seat on the edge of the bed with your legs purposely spread, your hands placed behind your back on the sheets.

He felt a bead of pre cum leak from his aching tip at the sight alone, he was almost breathless.

He watched as you lay back, pressing a knee between your thighs as he lowered himself to hover over you.

With one hand placed beside your head for support, his free hand was able roam your body.

He lowered his head, pressing tender kisses against your neck while his hand slid down your chest and abdomen to find placement between your thighs, tracing your clothed core with his fingertips.

Your hips eagerly bucked in desperation, hoping it would somehow force a slightly harsher touch.

Antonio smirked, halting his touch altogether as he glanced up at you.

"Let me savour this moment mi amor, be patient." He scolded, redirecting his attention back towards your core.

He pushed aside your newly damp underwear with his fingers before slipping them between your soaking wet folds, eliciting a whimper from you.

It was like music to his ears, and he craved to hear more. He ran his fingers through your folds several times over, spreading your arousal and forcing further moans from you.

It wasn't until his fingers started to circle your clit that he saw a drastic change in your response, your moans grew louder and your back started to arch off the bed.

"You like that, baby? Hm? That feel good?" He asked, expecting little to no response as he purposely plunged his fingers into you, his eyes widening lustfully at as your walls flutter.

Your growing pleasure was abruptly cut short as harshly pulled his fingers from you, hooking his fingers around the waistband of your underwear to yank it down past your hips and thighs, stepping off the bed as he dragged it down your calves and ankles before letting the skimpy material fall to the ground.

Aching for his touch and curious as to his next move, you pushed yourself up onto your elbows to watch him.

Your gaze fell to his hands as you watch him slide his boxers past his hips, watching as his cock spring free.

You were practically salivating at the sight, your hole clenching around nothing in anticipation for the pleasure his cock would offer.

You watched as Antonio reached down to pull a condom from the pocket of his discarded jeans.

Your heart sank dramatically at the thought of him actually using it, you didn't want to be deprived of the sensations he naturally had to offer.

You waited until he hovered over you once more before taking the opportunity to flip the two of you over, placing one of your hands on his shoulder for support while the other reached down to hold his cock upright before allowing yourself to sink down onto it.

A loud moan erupted from your throat in unison with a grunt from Antonio, your head tilting back as you'd bottomed out.

You placed the hand that guided you onto his chest before starting to rock your hips, a mixture of loud moans and soft whimpers leaving your lips.

Antonio was in and out of bliss, the reasonable man within him knew he had to use the condom that sit between his index and middle finger but the pleasure you provided was so great that those thoughts were interrupted.

"Baby? Baby, I gotta put this condom on." He whispered, lifting a hand to wrap his fingers around one of your breasts to knead it.

You purposely picked up the pace hoping it would distract him, your moans becoming more frequent and noticeably louder.

Bringing both of your hands up towards your back, you unclasped your bra before pulling it from your body and throwing it over your shoulder.

Your breasts bounced freely as you rode him and his eyes watched them so attentively.

"No daddy, please. I wanna feel you, please." You whine desperately, placing your hand on his forearm before gliding it upwards until your hand slipped over his, forcing his hand back up towards your unclothed breasts.

Antonio's mind malfunctioned in that very moment, he stared up at you in disbelief. He'd unintentionally allowed you to dominate the entire moment and being so far gone in pleasure, he didn't even attempt to try to stop you.

Your moans were pornographic and Antonio felt like a god hearing how good his cock made you feel so he refused to deprive himself of hearing how good it'd feel as he came inside you, especially as you were so desperate for it.

He threw the condom aside before reaching up to on your cheek roughly, pulling your head down towards his to allow his lips to crash against yours.

"No condom baby girl." He whispered against your lips, eager to please you.

He felt your movements start to falter and took full advantage of the situation, placing his hand on your mid back to hold you in place as he rolled the two of you over.

In the process of switching position, he'd thrusted into you so deeply that his tip surely touched your cervix, the moan you let out forced Antonio's eyes to roll back.

His hand gripped the pillow beside your head as he thrust into you relentlessly, he was once again in full control.

Antonio's fingers found their way to your clit once more and it took only a few seconds for you to start convulsing beneath him.

He felt your resistance as you attempted to push yourself further up the bed in avoidance of his touch, clearly overstimulated.

The hand the rest beside your head gripped at your shoulder, pinning you against the bed to hold you in position.

"Where you going baby girl?" He whispered almost sadistically, his fingers circling at an increasing speed.

You were a whimpering mess beneath him, writhing within his restraint.

"Don't fight it baby, relax. Just relax.." he cooed, his own climax drawing near as he felt your walls start to tighten around him.

You raised a hand to push at Antonio's shoulder, signalling him to stop but the impending wave of unimaginable pleasure finally hit.

"Fuck, Mateo!" You cried out, throwing your head back as you let it wash over you, your back arching off the bed.

Your body was on fire, pleasure coursing through your veins and slowly paralysing you.

Antonio completely looked past the fact you were calling out his fake name, the sensation of your walls fluttering around him were enough to throw him over the edge of his own climax.

His thrusts began to falter as he filled you with his cum, thick white ropes of it now coating your walls.

He became a whimpering mess, barely able to hold his head up as he felt his body grow limp.

He used all the strength he had left to prevent himself from collapsing onto you, his gaze slowly meeting yours as he looked down at you.

"You okay, sweetheart?" He asked sincerely, using his now free hand to support his body weight as he brought the other hand down to your cheek to cup it gently.

You nodded in response, a smile slowly creeping its way onto your face.

"Are you?" You asked playfully, breathing heavily as your chest rise and fall at an increased pace.

"Better than okay, never been better." He smirked, slowly pulling himself out before moving to lay on his back beside you, his chest moving just as rapidly as yours.

A part of him expected you to immediately cling to him, but he watched as you lay still, as if you were almost hesitant to do so.

The hesitation regarding your climax slowly came to mind seconds later, it left him to wonder whether you'd even ever experienced one before, his detective skills were slowly piecing these bits of information together to come to his very own conclusion.

Perhaps you'd only ever met men who selfishly thought for themselves, but he wasn't going to let you feel dissatisfied in his company.

He extended his arm, sliding it beneath your neck before gently pulling you closer, signalling for you to get closer.

You slowly turned your head to look at him, the warm gaze staring back at you made your heart flutter violently.

"You're gonna hurt my feelings if you don't get over here. I am good for other things, you know?" His tone was playful and it made you smile.

You willingly let him pull you closer, resting your head against his shoulder as he'd instigated before wrapping your arm over his chest, your calf slipping between the two of his.

The warmth radiating off his body and the exhaustion of your sexual encounter made you sleepy, you allowed your eyes to close to preserve whatever energy you could.

His fingers gently play with several strands of your hair, a smile slowly settling on his face as if he had not a worry in the world.

He forcibly shut out the facts, the real reason he was in your company and the task he had ahead.

He wanted to prolong the night, the time he had left with you before he'd inevitably had to leave to report back to Voight.

He froze as he felt you nuzzle your head against his shoulder, lifting his head a little to glance down at you.

He leant in, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head before reaching for the comforter to pull over the two of you.

He wasn't particularly bothered about himself, but he wanted to cover your modesty and keep you warm.

He adjusted the covers, covering only up to your shoulders as he didn't want to smother you.

"So, no round two?" He joked, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"In a minute.." you mumbled sleepily, drifting in and out of your sexually induced sleepiness.

He held you close as he lay his head against the pillow, soaking in the beauty of the moment you’d shared while he could.

- This is my first time writing and I’m still not too confident, any constructive feedback is welcome!

-I am posting several other parts to this story in the next few days🫣

#antonio dawson x reader #chicago pd #antonio dawson #x y/n

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undreaming-fanfiction · 2 years ago

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Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Robin Buckley and Nancy Wheeler have a well-known channel on YouTube (the name is something horrible and punny that Eddie and Robin made up, way before they blew up - Four Some (just some four guys and gals you perv). They cover pretty much everything - music reviews, various activities like ice skating, pole dancing or sculpting, they do tasting videos, social experiments and much more. Their personalities are so different but somehow that only makes their content more appealing. It doesn't matter if their videos contain Steve and Eddie replicating the famous pottery scene from the Ghost (and Robin's screeches that they ruined a completely fine vase) or Robin testing whether Nancy's vocal range increases proportionately to how many wine glasses she drinks

Gradually they grow their audience and gather a small crew that works with them. Barb Holland does a lot of editing and directing and she is getting recognized for her achievements, just like Gareth Emerson for his work with sound. Everyone in their crew are friends and are supporting each other in growing and promoting their talents.

There is only one person who has always remained a mystery. The person filming them, always hidden behind a camera. Credits always mention Chris C. and the fanbase tries to pry and figure out who they are, they really do, but the group shuts down their attempts almost instantly. "Chris has been instrumental to this channel's success," Eddie says and there is something hard behind his eyes, something that almost never makes it past his laid-back attitude and usual theatrics. "They have decided to stay out of our videos for a reason and we'd like you to respect their decision."

Not everyone drops it, but the four creators assume a united front and eventually, people stop prying. So it comes as a shock when around a year later, a new video drops on the channel. But the face in it is unknown.

"Hi guys," the young woman smiles and she looks so dejected, so scared, but the sound guy Garreth sits next to her and squeezes her hand, grounding her. "I swore I'd never sit in front of a camera again, but...I think it's time. So let me introduce myself. I am Chrissy Cunningham, but you know me as Chris C. And also..." she takes a deep breath, "I am also Chrissy from the Cunningham family channel."

Chrissy goes through it all. She talks about her life with her mother, an obsessive family blogger, who had Chrissy give up all her hobbies, her friends, her privacy from a young age. How her only friend became the school outcast, Eddie, and she had to keep him a secret too - not because she was ashamed, he meant everything to her, but because her mother would steal him too. How she could never have anything of her own, was always on camera, always tested for reactions, always forced to perform and mocked for it at school. How she couldn't handle it anymore and as soon as she was eighteen, she moved in with Eddie and his uncle. How it was only then that she started learning about herself, about who she was and what she wanted to do. "Now that you know who I am, I hope you can look past what I was made to do years ago and see me as...me. Just me."

She and Gareth leave their seats and are replaced with Eddie and Nancy. While Eddie mostly sits quietly, Nancy introduces their newest project that Chrissy suggested - documentaries on dangers of YouTube, TikTok and their insufficient regulations, especially when it comes to family vloggers and loss of privacy. "It might not be everyone's cup of tea, but that is exactly the point", says Nancy and looks directly at the camera. "We're here on camera, showing you parts of our lives that we want to show. But there are many who didn't consent to this, many who are being exploited for views. And on behalf of this chanel, let me address those who think this is okay. We're coming for you."

#steddie #ronance #drumcheer #stranger things au #steve harrington #eddie munson #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #barb holland #chrissy cunningham #gareth emerson #look I love YT #but some things are seriously fucked up there

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harryshomebaby · 3 months ago

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it's hard to find the right words to say and i truly never thought i'd ever be writing something like this. and i apologize if this doesn't all come out the way i want it to.

i hate that i have to preface this by saying that i was not a fan or a supporter of Liam in recent years and do not condone anything that he did. the victims of his actions still deserve to be heard and find closure that they'll now sadly never see...

but if you were anything like me, Liam Payne was a significant part of who you were growing up. 1 of 5 individuals that we looked up to as role models, and that created some of the online communities we're still a part of today. that built friendships we probably still have to this day.

a mature but loveable boy that we all fell in love with in the very early days of One Direction, or even later. with video diaries, music videos, and behind the scenes clips that shared a glimpse of his personality with us, and tweets that some of us will never forget (it's a snake habitat, turn around!!), we watched him grow up alongside the boys while we were growing up ourselves.

we even had the privelege of seeing a small part of where he grew up and the people who raised him in This is Us and the "Story of my Life" video. we got to know a little bit about his life before One Direction, with small stories and anecdotes from his mother, Karen, and his father, Geoff. we got to see how loved he was by his family, by the band, and by all of the fans that adored him just as much as we did.

i still remember when i first learned about One Direction in 2012 and couldn't tell Liam or Harry apart because their hairstyles were so similar. and the shock the fandom had when he buzzed his head.

we got to see the good in him... even if it was only for a brief moment. five years of a band that carried so many of us through dark periods in our lives and that connected all of us to one another in a way that many of us had never experienced before.

we watched him grow up, live through the prime of his career, and saw the subsequent downfall of who he used to be. after One Direction split up, he opened up about his struggles with addiction during their tours and it was clear that despite what we all saw, it was never as pretty as their management had made the band out to be.

it's completely devastating that he was still struggling with substance abuse in the end. that he was never able to get the help he needed. and i am deeply sorry to all of the people who became victims at his hand. to maya henry who only recently opened up about her relationship to Liam and who is going to receive even more hate than she already has because of this tragedy.

i am sad that he wasn't able to get better. to get sober and attempt to rewrite some of his wrongs. that his addiction caused so much harm to him, but also to so many others. i am sad that he was so deeply troubled in his youth that he turned towards drugs and alcohol, and was never able to truly get his life back. i am sad at what fame did to him at such a young age. and i am sad for every single person that he hurt.

the entire fandom is on my mind today. all of those victims are on my mind today. his family is on my mind today. his 7-year old son is on my mind today. Niall, Zayn, Harry, and Louis are on my mind today.

this is heavy. and it's hard. and if you're struggling with the news, you are not alone.

my 15-year old self is in mourning today at news that i never thought i'd hear only a decade after One Direction's time. i may have never been a true fan of Liam in his solo endeavours, but he was still a big part of my childhood and the band that partially shaped who i am today.

this isn't how his story should have ended. and i'm sorry that it did. we'll never know the true intent of what happened today, but i do hope that he is in a better place and can find peace, and i sincerely hope that everyone he hurt is able to heal.

rest in peace, Liam Payne.

we'll all remember the good times we once shared every time we hear a One Direction song.

if you're struggling with your mental health, addiction, substance abuse, or thoughts of suicide, please consider reaching out to someone. everyone deserves a chance to get better. ♥

Suicide Hotlines & Support Below ↓

USA:

Suicide & Crisis Hotline - 988 Crisis Textline - text HOME to 741741 Youth Helpline - (877) 968-8491 or text 839863

Canada:

Suicide & Crisis Hotline - 988

Suicide Hotline - 1 (833) 456 4566 Kid's Help Phone - 1 (800) 668 6868 Tran's Lifeline - 1 (877) 330 6366 First Nation's and Inuit Hope for Wellness Hotline - 1 (855) 242 3310

Australia:

Suicide Lifeline - 131 1141 Suicide Callback Hotline - 135 247 Beyond Blue Counselling & Helpline - 1300 22 4636

Argentine:

Centro de Asistencia Suicida - 11 5275 1135 , 800 345 1435 Servicio Gratuito de Atención Médica y Urgencias - 11 5050 0147

Ireland:

Suicide Hotline - +4408457909090 Samaritans - 116123

United Kingdom:

National Suicide Hotline - 0800 689 5652 Mental Health Crisis Support - 01708 765200 Hopeline247 - 0800 068 41 41 UK Supportline - 0 (170) 8 765200

For a full list of hotlines & support in your country:

Or find a Helpline Here:

#liam payne #one direction #mental health awareness #rest in peace #niall horan #harry styles #zayn malik #louis tomlinson

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kkxrmx · 6 months ago

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live while we're young ⋆.✧˚

SYNOPSIS : when beating your best friend, kai, at too many arcade games leads you to the stuffed animal-filled claw machine; he swoops in to help you win a plushie of your own. PLAYLIST : live while we're young - one direction ; love 119 - riize PAIRING(S) : best friend!kai x gender neutral reader WARNING(S) : none (?)

꒰ note : have you missed the other dates? read soobin, yeonjun, beomgyu, and taehyun's day dates over on saku's blog and their night dates here !! if you're back for todays dates, thanks for tuning in to our summer !! go check out kai's day date on saku's blog <3 enjoy and i'll see you this weekend for the finale !! ꒱

𖧷 "oo, it's so pretty in here," you say in awe as you enter the room, the rainbow lights on the brightly colored arcade machines. kai, your best friend, who's holding the door, walks in behind you. before he could agree, you rush off to the first game you see.

the arcade is mostly empty. the only people to be seen are tired employees sipping fountain drinks and chatting. you look around and scope the scene, looking for your favorite games.

you bounce between games and machines, gaining tickets. you play against kai in air hockey and beat him by a landslide. kai challenges you to a rematch, and this time, he wins. ignoring how he rubs it in your face, you find more games to battle him in.

𖧷 "oh, come on! i beat you fair and square, didn't i? the rematch was winner-take-all, so i won!" he brags, and you roll your eyes, the playful banter between you always a source of amusement. but you'd never tell him that.

you rush to point at a claw machine, sliding in a few coins. you fiddle with the joystick, guiding the claw to hover above a cute plush penguin. you push the bottom beside the joystick, and the claw descends, clasping the arm of the blue penguin. it comes back up and takes the plush with it. it glides across the top of the machine.

as the plush penguin nears the prize slot, it falls short. you try again unsuccessfully, and after your fourth attempt, you give up. you whine and slump down a bit before you turn to look at kai. "hey, hyuka?"

𖧷 kai looks at you, already knowing what you're going to ask, and moves closer, inserting his coins. he does the same as you, but more methodically. this time, the claw successfully drops the plush into the prize slot. he retrieves it and offers it to you, and you accept it with a victorious smile, hugging it tightly.

"oh my god, he's so cute!! look at his little face; he looks just like you!!" you go into a cuteness aggression, squeezing the cheek of the plush and doing the same to kai.

you get blinded by the adorable face of the plush, and kai begins to pout. you both still stand in front of the claw machine, and he leans against it, observing you. jealousy bubbles in his chest as he watches you baby the cute stuffed animal.

𖧷 "i'm starting to think you like that penguin more than you like me," he jokes, but you still don't look up, reading the plush's tag. you finally speak up, thrilled. "his name's kai, too!"

you look up at him with big eyes, and he leans down to kiss you before he can even question himself. you can't even focus on kissing him back before it's over, and you mentally scold yourself for missing your chance.

he rushes to apologize. "oh my god, uhm, i'm sorry. your cheeks were red, and you looked so pretty with the lights on your face, but i should've asked—"

𖧷 "can i kiss you?" you cut his apologetic rant off, and he stares at you dumbfounded. he nods, and you peck him lightly. once you pull back, kai takes the penguin into his hands and looks at him. "can we have shared custody? he's really cute, actually."

your stomach growls after you walk around the arcade and have a long conversation about your new son. kai giggles under his breath. "wanna get some pizza?" you perk up at his offer and skip over to the food counter.

"as long as you're paying!"

taglist : @hyukassubi @lun4kazumii

#cece&saku our summer #huening kai x reader #kai x reader #txt x reader #txt fluff #txt headcanons #tomorrow x together #my posts <3

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silveraura · 2 years ago

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Join the party campaign 2 ending spoilers

(I know it's been out for a while, but I'm also behind, so the spoiler warning is just in case)

Alright yesterday I finally finished listening to JTP campaign 2 and it made me tear up. So a little context to my day: I had just been hit with a rent increase and me and my housemate realised our basic rent is higher than we thought (and now even higher), so we won't be getting any rent allowence from the government after my birthday like we thought. Basically, it was a huge dissapointment and made me want to cry about capitalism.

So then I go do other stuff and start listening to the final bits of the finale episode. (Insert obligatory "what the fuck Eric?", but like, lovingly, because it was so good). Multitool makes the ultimate sacrifice, and asks for people to be able to do what they want without having to worry about earning enough to live. I feel a lump in my throat. That's a beautiful wish if I ever heard one, and my god do I want to not worry about rent rn.

Eric plays a scene between two people in a grocery store. It's so simple, yet it makes me wish to live in that world so much. The symbolism of the stretched out hand makes me tear up. I have so many things I want to do and a big source of worry and stress is money. I'm not even doing bad, I'm fine. If necessary I could even lean on my parents, that would just be complicated. It's just that every soul in my body wants to reject capitalism. I don't understand the economy (and barely want to) and investing. I have student debt and the safest way to get myself out of that after my studies is to keep working in this field, even if I am currently much more motivated about my dreams of writing books and doing art than my studies.

I know some people are gonna read this and think I'm acting like a child, and I should suck it up. It's not that bad, I don't have much to complain about. And they're right, in a way. I live in a world where I can escape to others, like the worlds of Join the Party, and honestly it helps me cope. But every now and then these fantasy worlds become so idealistically reachable but realistically fantastical that it hurts. It's not an insane farfetched idea to have universal basic income. But it feels terrifying to hope to transform the current systems of the world so much to allow for something so nice, because most things don't promise we're heading in that direction. As a gen z young adult I can barely dream of owning a house in the future, because our current housing market would have to annihilate itself will I ever get the chance to buy anything that permanent at all.

Anyway, long post, many thoughts, some tears. The conclusion is that I love Join the Party and they make me keep wishing for a better world. I'm not a pessimistic person, just some days the world hits me in the face and makes me cry a little. Those days I dream of hugging January, questioning doctor Morrow about physics, asking Val for advice about being queer and fashion and a bunch of things, nerding out with Milo, petting Tuna and Pizza, sharing oldest sibling struggle stories with Aggie, and much more. And maybe some people who read this feel the same.

#personal story #join the party #thank you jtp for providing me an escape from the capitalistic hell hole that is real life sometimes #long post #little scared to have this in the main jtp tag so I might get too anxious and untag later #jtp campaign 2 spoilers

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kdnss77 · 5 months ago

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Girl Hell 1999/Shojo jigoku ichi kyu kyu kyu (1999)

basic info: directed and written by Daisuke Yamanouchi (also known as the executive of such titles as "Red Room" or "Celluloid Nightmares" from the same year). it's classified under the genre of horror, for the sake of including acts of slight gore, violence and a broad range of sexual abuse performances.

overall ratings: imdb: 5,1/10 letterboxd: 2,5/5

plot summary: the movie sets off with a melancholic shot featuring the protagonist, 17-year old Misaki, which turns out to be a leap into the future in the latter take (and, probably, captures the rather suicidal state of her mind - as the events unfold, we're gradually familiarized with all that the girl had dealt with and what has left her almost completely callous to the matter of her own existence). subsequently, we learn that Misaki actively supports a homeless woman living near the bridge in the town, bringing her leftover food and keeping her company. however, it turns out she's in the center of attention of both a young, although extremely short-tempered and abusive worker and an individual standing behind the repetitive thefts of her biking seat (which, to me, at first seemed more of a cruel joke made by her classmates, so as to bully her. but it comes down to a gross piss kink later on). its also revealed that the schoolgirl parts her daily life with an unpredictable father and a heavily wounded sister, who constantly needs to be taken care of. her sibling's immobility is unfortunately taken advantage of by the parent, him imposing becoming an object destined for rape only on her. more into the movie, when Misaki resigns on meeting the guy interested in her, he and his loyal friend run for a vigorous killing spree in revenge - first, they brutally deal with the oblivious woman from under the bridge, then knock Misaki's father off and end up torturing her sister until she's become completely lifeless. in the meantime, Misaki herself is captured by the pervert, who has been the initial cause for her bike seat to magically disappear (this sequence includes a picture of the man drinking her urine from a tube). then we're finally brought to the point, with which the whole movie began - Misaki's out of any emotions, becomes completely soulless and simply gives herself in to the two previously mentioned friends, who have just murdered her only family. the ending scene is rather unexpected - while walking off, the protagonist encounters the beaten up, homeless woman, holding a different doll (the previous one and therefore the one woman has been taking care of so thoroughly ever since - Haruko - had been destroyed by the workers). this sight causes the girl to snap and proceed to continuously hurt the terrified woman with a bat.

my thoughts: this one, no matter from what angle you look at it, is plainly pointless. just a story about a schoolgirl who somehow happens to have everything and everyone against her, suffering non-culpably for being too pure and kind-hearted for this world. having oversimplified what my reflections on this have morphed into so far, of course. nevertheless, the movie has some remarkable bits, that make it live up to my expectations in a way. in terms of the production it's, however, way below those - it's clearly a low-budget one, what emerges in inadequate cuts or sudden lightning changes (on the contrary, one could state that this was purely intentional - personally i liked the random alternations between first colored and then black-white canvas in the meantime of all the dramatic shots. it points to some further vision and potential, that - unfortunately - wasn't entirely fulfilled). what i find valuable about "Girl Hell" is the aftermath of its story. the plot alone is rather senseless, but taking into consideration the burden protagonist has to deal with, it makes her a pretty complex character. firstly, she seems to live in constant fear - the moments, in which she contemplates on entering her own house are filled with unspeakable tension. deep inside she'd rather be anywhere else, far away from the hell she has to deal with every day after school. she never knows what to expect from her perverted and aggressive father, of whom she's afraid of and can't do much to stop him from sexually abusing her disabled sibling. her sister on the other hand, loathes her, even though Misaki is the one to treat her unhealed wounds. what's more, she's convinced Misaki's glad she ended up like this, prompting her to spiral down her own helplessness even deeper. in a hazardous confrontation with her father, after pointing a knife at him, she's also obstinately defending her mother, who had abandoned their family some time ago. however, it seems that - somewhere, under the surface of self-indulged guilt - she pities her parent for leaving her, not receiving this motherly kind of love. this lack emerges, among others, in the scene where Misaki starts to drink milk from a breast of the homeless woman - sucking on it just like a newborn child, almost wistfully. then, again, in the ending scene of the movie - when Misako realizes, that a new doll has already found its place in the arms of the lady, she rages on her with a blood-covered bat, granting her with numerous hits. to me, it seems that she might have seen herself in this particular piece of plastic - she's been simply thrown away by her mother (who, taking into account the words of Misaki's father, has probably run away with an another man), despite being nothing more than a child. it's symbolic in a way - it's the first and only time in the whole movie that Misaki lets her frustrations out instead of obediently cramming them inside. this scene, in fact, literally rescues the production as a whole. but it still doesn't contribute to exceeding the norms of mediocre watch. i just wish Yamanouchi contented himself on releasing a rather poorly made, although self-sufficient movie. and not something aspiring to be a high-budget crap, screaming with potential yet too proudly exhibited. and it's exactly what killed it.

my rating (on a scale from 1 to 5): 2,5/5

favorite quote: "I bet you feel real good, now that i've ended up like this." (these words come from Misaki's sister. i find them crucial in a way, as the point of the protagonist's story is the exaggerated focus her inability to prove anyone or anything wrong - including the self-loathing she most probably experienced too in the face of it. her family life is a torture, she's surrounded by perverts and abusive individuals, basically drowning in all sorts of depravation. it seems as if she was sentenced for them, the one to be blamed for everything that ever happens. just like you could imagine the generalized perception of hell, a never ending torture).

the images were found by me on the internet, credit to their original uploaders.

#movie review #movies #horror movies #shock movies #girl hell 1999 #letterboxd

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yesterdanereviews · 2 months ago

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Space Monkeys (2022)

Film review #634

Director: Aldo Iuliano

SYNOPSIS: Five affluent teens are throwing an end-of-summer party. Moving on to one of the teen's houses while his parents are away. They use the house's A.I. to participate in increasingly extreme drinking games, but a tragic turn of events forces the youths to reflect on events and themselves...

THOUGHTS/ANALYSIS: Space Monkeys (Also known as Code Terror) is a 2022 Italian film. Centred around five affluent teens who are throwing an end-of-summer party, they visit the home of Stefan, one of the teens, who shows them around this bizarre home full of weird aesthetics and a home A.I. named Able, who controls the functions of the abode. Stefan gets Able to concoct a series of increasingly extreme drinking games, pushing the teens to their limits. The setup for this film is a bit of a horror and sci-fi one: A group of young, unlikable teens get trapped in a house with an A.I. that tries to kill them....that's what I thought the film was about based on the trailer anyway. The only thing to say about the first half of the film is that it serves simply to make the five teens seem as unlikable as possible: they're either obsessed with their social media, arguing with each other, or pushing each other to do stupid things. Stefan, in particular, is such an odious and annoying personality it's difficult to tolerate his presence: seriously, he says some very nasty things. Marta is the only one who seems to have any sense of reason, but that just begs the question why she is friends with the rest of them anyway. I was waiting for the film to actually begin, but as mentioned, the first half is just constant drinking, arguing, and stupid pranks that never seems to end, and you're left wondering what you're doing watching this, or when something of purpose is going to happen.

At the halfway point of the film - almost down to the very second - we get the film flipped on its head and finally a sense of direction, as Stefan dies from a choking prank gone wrong. Finally, the free-loving have to confront reality, as they have to deal with what to do with Stefan's body. The film continues to be as sporadic as the first half, with no real direction and the characters just aimlessly wandering about; which is somewhat to be expected given the circumstances and the fact that they have never dealt with anything like this before in their sheltered lives. There's a hint of the film wanting to do a The Breakfast Club style intervention for Gen Z, but that just doesn't work because we don't know any of the characters, and they don't really confront themselves or their relationship with any of the others: one of the characters just wanders off and doesn't come back until near the end. With The Breakfast Club, the characters were forced to confront themselves through each other, interacting with people they wouldn't normally, and learning about themselves and others. In Space Monkeys, there's a distinct absence of any of that. The only character that seems to deal with the situation is Marta, but we still don't get much of an insight into her character to really get involved with the dilemma she or any of the others are facing. The film's setup with the whole A.I. trying to kill them and whatnot just...evaporates into nowhere as well, and we're left wondering just what the point of it was. I don't know if I was supposed to feel bad that Stefan was dead by the end, but I really wasn't: he was absolutely insufferable.

There's obviously some intention behind the way the film is structured: the way the film flips at exactly the halfway point is meant to shock these carefree youths with reality, and there's a number of scenes where the camera is purposefully placed at a specific angle to frame things, but again, there's no real substance to anything, nothing to interpret, and no maturity in any of the characters. The film ends abruptly with the four abandoning their plan to say that Stefan died on his own without them being there, and just calling the police to tell them the truth, which I suppose is meant to show them taking responsibility; something which wasn't earned in their aimless wandering through the film, and it just makes the whole thing just seem like a waste of time. Any attempt at redemption of these characters fails because the film goes so far and hard in the first half to make them unlikeable. By the time the film tries to turn it around, it's too late to dig itself out of the hole it has made for itself. A glint of intention behind a directionless mess, Space Monkeys fails to get to grips with it's characters, and any attempts at redemption and confronting reality through the events that transpire are far too inadequate due to the sizeable hole the film digs itself into by making the characters as obnoxious and unremarkable as possible.

#movie #movie review #space monkeys #code terror #film #film review #2022 film

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whileiamdying · 2 years ago

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FILM REVIEW; Snow Falling on Cedars: Prejudice Lingers in a Land of Mists

''Snow Falling on Cedars'' is an almost heartbreaking example of what can happen when a filmmaker becomes so overawed by his source that he confuses dramatic storytelling with the production of mammoth coffee-table art books. Bathed in deepening shades of snow-lit Prussian blue, this screen adaptation of David Guterson's popular 1994 novel is admirably high-minded and visually gorgeous but fatally anesthetized by its own grandiosity.

Frame by frame the movie, directed by Scott Hicks (of ''Shine'') and filmed by Robert Richardson (the virtuoso cinematographer behind several Oliver Stone movies), isn't just a series of shots but a sequence of exquisitely balanced photographic compositions. The piling on of so much visual beauty, however, only contributes to the sense of the movie as a frozen artifact cut off from the real world and designed to be viewed from behind a glass casement.

There's a lesson here about the aesthetics of mass-audience movies. Pretty pictures, as nice as they may be, are finally no substitute for a living, breathing screenplay. And ''Snow Falling on Cedars,'' like many an elegant coffee-table book, has a skimpy text (by Mr. Hicks and Ron Bass) that too often substitutes distilled, poeticized oration for everyday speech.

Hardly a moment passes when we're not conscious of the movie's messages about tolerance and forgiveness being shoved in our faces. Even when they are delivered by an actor as gifted as Max von Sydow, playing a defense lawyer who is the movie's official conscience, ''Snow Falling on Cedars'' rings with the hollow boom of a Sunday school sermon.

Perhaps the biggest mistake in translating the novel to the screen was to have the film imitate the book's intricate flashback structure. Flipping back and forth between the present and the past on the page is one thing. (It encourages your imagination to make leaps and allows you to take whatever time you need to bridge those transitions.) But when a movie does the same thing, the imagination is short-circuited, and there is hardly time for reflection. The film is so busy darting back and forth between past and present that from scene to scene its characters barely have time to breathe.

There are also far too many lingering close-ups of haunted faces. And a surreal montage that harks back to the early films of Alain Resnais (specifically ''Hiroshima, Mon Amour''), brings the movie to a dead halt. This might have been a coup de cinema in another film, but here it seems narratively evasive.

The story unfolds as a series of flashbacks from the 1950 murder trial of Kazuo Miyamoto (Rick Yune), a young Japanese-American accused of killing a fisherman on his boat off the coast of the fictitious San Piedro Island, north of Puget Sound. Most of the events are seen through the eyes of Ishmael Chambers (Ethan Hawke), a morose young reporter covering the trial for the local newspaper. Many years earlier Ishmael and the defendant's wife, Hatsue (Youki Kudoh), were teenage lovers who met secretly in the hollow trunk of a cedar tree deep in the rain forest. The affair ends when it is discovered by Hatsue's mother, who is vehemently opposed to interracial relationships.

The film's strongest scenes look back to World War II when the island's Japanese-Americans were interrogated, rounded up and sent to internment camps for the duration of the war. The murder trial revolves around the bitterness surrounding a land deal on which Kazuo's family defaulted while imprisoned. During the trial, the prosecutor (James Rebhorn) blatantly appeals to the local whites' lingering anti-Japanese prejudice in speeches that play on the racist stereotype of Asians as treacherous and inscrutable.

As the movie jumps back and forth in time, we meet Ishmael's late father, Arthur (Sam Shepard), the crusading local newspaper editor who stood up to the anti-Japanese hysteria that swept the community after the bombing of Pearl Harbor. Nine years later Ishmael, poring over evidence in the case, decides to strike his own blow for truth and justice.

''Snow Falling on Cedars'' may be dramatically inert, but it is well acted, and it succeeds in sustaining a mood of spellbound reflection. The endless swirling snow, the blue-lit fog and the rain forest with its dripping evergreens evoke a brooding interior landscape where memory and reflection loom solemnly over the present.

But even this mood is undermined by James Newton Howard's bombastic score, which suggests the romantic minimalism of Michael Nyman encrusted with heavenly vocal choirs. The overwrought score is the final lethal touch in a movie that buckles under the weight of its own pretensions.

''Snow Falling on Cedars'' is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). It has sexual situations.

SNOW FALLING ON CEDARS

Directed by Scott Hicks; written by Ron Bass and Mr. Hicks, based on the novel by David Guterson; director of photography, Robert Rchardson; edited by Hank Corwin; music by James Newton Howard; production designer, Jeannine Oppewall; produced by Kathleen Kennedy, Frank Marshall, Harry J. Ufland and Mr. Bass; released by Universal Pictures. Running time: 130 minutes. This film is rated PG-13.

WITH: Ethan Hawke (Ishmael Chambers), James Cromwell (Judge Fielding), Richard Jenkins (Sheriff Art Moran), James Rebhorn (Alvin Hooks), Sam Shepard (Arthur Chambers), Max von Sydow (Nels Gudmundsson), Youki Kudoh (Hatsue Miyamoto) and Rick Yune (Kazuo Miyamoto).

Snow Falling on Cedars Director: Scott Hicks Writers: David Guterson (novel), Ronald Bass, Scott Hicks Stars: Ethan Hawke, Max von Sydow, Yûki Kudô, Reeve Carney, Anne Suzuki Rating: PG-13 Running Time: 2h 7m Genres: Drama, Mystery, Romance, Thriller

#Snow Falling on Cedars #Ethan Hawke #James Cromwell #Richard Jenkins #James Rebhorn #Sam Shepard #Max von Sydow #Youki Kudoh #Rick Yune #Yûki Kudô

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curiousconch · 3 years ago

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Chase You / Chase Me (Pt. 3)

Part 3: Remember when everything was different

Catch up here: Series Masterlist

Chapter Summary: Aislinn, Gigi and Alex find friendship in the midst of the competition. One discussion led to another, pushing Alex to take a trip down memory lane, revealing the moment in her past where she and Gabe's paths crossed for the first time.

Book/Pairing: Choices - Laws of Attraction / Gabe Ricci x MC (Alex Keating)

Words: 1.7k+

Rating/Warnings: Mature (16+) / alcohol consumption, language. Scenes/themes may trigger trauma for some, reader discretion advised.

Disclaimer: Most of the characters as well as some dialogue belong to Pixelberry. I am merely borrowing them.

Sunday, downtown New York

"Wait, can you back up for a moment," Aislinn said across Alex, who was scooping the remains of her melted banana split. Gigi was sipping her ice-cold mimosa, their brunch table full of plates with scrapes of leftovers. The sun was out and so were they, dining al fresco under the shade of a huge white parasol and the gentle breeze cooling them every now and then. It was a perfect day so far.

The trio has agreed to meet up that Sunday to discuss what went down with the Rothswell case as well as to prep for the conference Sadie had invited them to. They were on some kind of a peace pact, all of them sharing the view that pitting women against women in the corporate world is just shitty business.

Alex has enjoyed their company. They exchanged imaginary one-liners that would have made Martin frown his heart out or Beau McGraw chortle his head off. And speaking of McGraw, they all concluded that the best strategic course of action was to let Beau enjoy his moment in the sun. One day, Alex would make sure to remind him that he tried to rain on her parade.

It was a refreshing and enlightening discussion, though she will forever be traumatized with how many swears Gigi can cram in a single sentence. But the sight of a flustered Aislinn while Alex and Gigi engaged in a battle of pick-up lines with their waiter was a strong second contender.

As their drinks flowed, the conversation naturally led to rhetorical questions, now settling at why they became a lawyer. Aislinn shared first, surprisingly, stating that her knack for analysis was just a natural fit to the demands of a career in law. Gigi's answer was simple - she can leverage her eidetic memory to earn herself some serious dough, allowing her to live it up and take impromptu vacations to Bali.

Alex tried to dodge the question. She had never needed to discuss her reason of leaving pre-med behind to attend law school. It wasn't a pleasant memory, and she doubted it will ever be.

The two ladies were quick to see her attempts of evasion. But together, they finally wore her down, Alex left laughing with their shenanigans as they cornered her to tell her story. So she told them that she knew Gabe Ricci. And that it was because of him why she was a lawyer. Alex decided that revealing the truth was worth it, seeing how their jaws just dropped to the floor.

"Girl, you have to explain yourself right now," Gigi demanded, to which Aislinn seconded.

Alex snorted as she went back to skimming what was left of her dessert. "It's a boring sob story, and I don't want to turn this lovely morning into a snooze fest."

"We're not going anywhere, right Gi?" Aislinn turned to Gigi beside her, who nodded whilst sipping another glass of cocktail.

"Fine, but only if you swear this won't leave this table," she said. The two held up their hands invoking a half-smiling Alex, sensing nothing but sincerity. So she drank down her glass of bloody mary and took a deep breath, composing her tale.

"Buckle up, ladies, you're in for a ride."

10 years ago, in a town near Boston

Alessandra Keating had never felt more alone than she did that day.

They said she needed to just move forward. But how can she, when every day since the crash, she felt nothing but emptiness? How can she feel alright, when the only life that she knew was suddenly taken away from her?

It wasn't long before she found out that the car accident was caused by someone being reckless, by someone who thought they were above the law. Then, she imploded. No way could she let her parent's deaths be forgotten. No fucking way.

For the past three years, she invested all of herself into this endeavor. Researching, studying, choosing the right counsel, even raising funds. It was what kept her breathing, what gave her purpose. Ultimately, it was what kept her sane.

From filing the lawsuit to attending mediations, to numerous settlement meetings and colliding with every legal roadblock possible - Alex made sure to see them through. Only for everything to be decided that day - the bench trial.

One sweltering summer morning in her hometown's courthouse, Alex sat on the side of the plaintiff, with her long brunette hair tangled in waves. She let her senses wander, taking in the dark wooden panels and pews, her sense of smell invaded by the scent of old mahogany. She sealed her lips into silence, hiding her nerves by straightening the bargain khaki suit that she borrowed.

She barely held it in as her eyes travelled to the table beside them, catching a glimpse of the man that caused her immeasurable pain. With jet black hair and looking as young as her, he sat with an almost mocking expression. He was wearing a crisper set of suit, creating an illusion of trustworthiness that Alex can easily see through.

Maximilian K. Cornell. The green-eyed teenager who swerved his sports car onto the same slippery road Alex and her parents were passing through. The very same boy who got out unharmed, but left Alex's family to die in the snow. Her opponent was a slithery snake who managed to screw the justice system so many times over, just because his parents had the grease to do so.

But after the crash, the town decided they can no longer turn the other cheek. Alex's decision to sue was propelled by the support of the countless friends and families whom her parents have helped in their hour of need. But that still proved not enough.

Her mind whirled back to the proceedings, and to how every strategy, every plan of attack was being thrown out. With every whip from the defense, she started to grow impatient. As another traffic expert from her camp was dismissed, Alex just snapped inside. She leaned to Mr. Leroy, a withering man on the brink of retirement who was her lawyer, asking for them to convene outside.

"I'm sorry Mr. Leroy, but your strategies were just scrutinized and torn into pieces," Alex said in a low voice the moment they stepped out into the hallway.

"Alex, I am doing my best here. We clearly don't have the upper hand, lacking the incriminating evidence that we need," the man replied, exasperated.

"Have we dug up his previous records? I mean, why on earth would he have a sealed history? Doesn't that mean something?" she continued.

She continued to dictate her litany of better-positioned moves, but even Alex knew she wasn't getting through. So she excused herself from the conversation, hoping a cup of iced coffee will somehow mitigate her frustrations.

As soon as she came back, she found Mr. Leroy convening with a much younger man in a dark navy suit. His aura screamed "big city hotshot", albeit the exhausted look in his brown eyes. Not wanting to interrupt, she held off from approaching. However, her curiosity didn't stop her from eavesdropping.

What she heard the charismatic man say was a legal precedent that would have opened the sealed records in question. And with all the mind-boggling legal jargon, that's just about what she understood.

"Gabriel Ricci? I'm looking for an attorney named Gabriel Ricci?" a female voice from a nearby window called out, which made the young man raise his head. She saw him end the conversation abruptly, where a flustered Mr. Leroy hastily thanked him. Alex took that as her queue to approach her lawyer.

"Alex, we might be able to turn things around," she heard Leroy say.

And by some miracle, things did turn around. With her lawyer using the precedent offered by the young attorney earlier, their side gained the needed momentum to tip the scales in their favor. By the end of the trial, the verdict was out - Cornell will never be able to drive another vehicle, along with paying her a hefty amount of damages and fees.

They won.

Alex had to pinch herself before the victory sunk in. When it did, she felt an immense burden lifted from her shoulders.

After a long, long time, Alex can finally breathe.

Broken free from her nightmares, she asked herself what's next? The answer came to her almost immediately. Right there and then, she decided what she wanted to be. Like that man from the courthouse, she will become a lawyer.

Fueled by this new sense of mission, she saw a future for herself. No longer held by the past, she finally was able to move forward.

Indeed, Alex became what she set out to do - a lawyer who took on hopeless, even impossible cases and won them. A lawyer her parents would be proud of.

A damn good lawyer, just like Gabriel Ricci.

Present Day, at a New York Penthouse

Gabe sat in his home office clad in nothing but his white bath robe, holding a worn manila folder.

Five years ago, Gabe saw this case as his opportunity to make Robbie proud. The defendant had all the parallels with his brother - a teenager, incarcerated young, where the punishment had presumed to be too harsh. He now knew it was rightfully just.

But at that time, he was blinded by passion and ambition. He wanted to prove to himself and to Sadie what he can do. Taking on this case that was practically unwinnable would give him more power, more control over the pro bono cases he wanted to take. Actually winning this though, that proved to be his fatal mistake.

Your cockiness got the better of you again, Ricci.

His mind went to Alex. That was the direction his every waking moment drifted to nowadays. Whether he liked it or not, he'd answer some other day.

He had to let her know. If he didn't, Alex would eventually find out herself. Once she discovers that he was the one who had set this man free, she would hate him.

Gabe can't bring himself to think of that happening, of losing that chance with her, or of losing Alex's trust.

Hell, I'm going to lose her entirely if she finds out.

These realizations devastated him.

But how can they both escape the looming shadows of the past unscathed? Even he couldn't figure that out.

Sighing, he rubbed his hand on his face, reeling at his lack of options. He then stood up, slamming the open folder on his desk as he turned to face the window, simmering in his own regrets. Papers slipped out to the carpeted floor, including a full-page mugshot of the defendant.

It was Maximilian Cornell.

Author's Notes: With Sadie being shady AF, I feel like we all need some dose of female friendship right? Also, this is my HC why Gabe constantly pulls away from MC, not only because of their working relationship. Did the reveal live up to the cliffhanger? Let me know in the comments! 👇👇👇

Tag list: @adiehardfan @pixelnutrookie @starryjieun @latinagiraffe @sarcastic01lily @spookycolorpeanut @ophrookie @suitfer @thegreentwin @mkatschoicesblog @made-of-roses

@choicesficwriterscreations

Thank you for your continued reading!

Want to be added or removed to the tag list? No problem - just let me know 😊. Reblogs are also much appreciated! 💕

#laws of attraction #choices laws of attraction #choices loa #laws of attraction fanfiction #choices laws of attraction fanfiction #choices fic writers creations #fics of the week #gabe ricci x mc #gabe ricci #aislinn tanaka #gigi sinclair

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ms-indifferwnt · 4 years ago

Text

I'm Cold

"I'm cold"

"And?"

"Can't you give me your jacket or something?"

"Can't you accept my proposal and marry me already?"

In which Prince Donghyuck's parents are forcing him to get married and he decided to propose to the first girl he sees to shut his parents up

Genre: Prince!Lee Donghyuck x Maid!Reader, Angst, Fluff, Arranged Marriage (kinda), Slowburn

Warnings: Curse words, Suggestive (I'll add more if there are)

Word count: 1.9k

Notes: Chapter 1 of I'm cold

Prev / Chapter 1 / Next

The whole room went quiet at Prince Donghyuck's words, even his parents stood agape, Y/n herself was starting in disbelief mouth slightly open "Y-You're highness?" She asks "you've mistaken"

Donghyuck laughs and stands up, reaching to hold her hand "Really my love? Are you that mad?" He lifts her hand and kisses her knuckles softly, smiling softly and lovingly but Y/n knows that there was something underneath that charming smile "I know that you don't want the secret out yet but I can't just stand back as my parents force me to live someone else when the love of my life is right behind me"

Y/n still couldn't get over how Prince Donghyuck was acting and why was it directed at her "but My Lord-" she was cut off by a smiling Prince squeezing her hand a little too hard

"It's Donghyuck, my love." He says as a matter of fact "we've had this conversation before, remember"

She was still shock and Prince Donghyuck held her hand tighter, "play along" he whispered that even she has thought it was her imagination, in all honesty, she should've denied it, she should've said no but if she does the prince will be denoted as a liar so instead she nodded slowly and through clenched teeth "Donghyuck" and just like that a big smile graced the princes' nature "are you still mad at me my love?"

She was sure, she hated the prince, pf all the maids of all the people why her? She shakes her head, still staring at the prince

Prince Lee Donghyuck's parents stared in disbelief at the scene "For how long?" The queen spoke, looking at their intertwined hands "why didn't you say anything Hyuck?"

Prince Donghyuck's acting was on point, he made an effort to make it look like he didn't want to look away from Y/n and smiled sheepishly to his parents "turning two years on my birthday" He confessed, and looked back at her. She tried her best to not roll her eyes at the Prince's words "She was the one who told me to keep it a secret"

She glared at the Prince, Oh fuck you, she couldn't help but think, Prince Donghyuck smiled sweetly at her "Excuse me mother, your highness" he says and bows to Prince Jeno's parents "I would like to speak to Y/n privately" he motions and she bows to the King and Queen only to be dragged out by Prince Donghyuck

"Oh thank you" Prince Donghyuck spoke after they were out of earshot, readjusting his suit as he spoke "it was getting annoying on how they keep forcing me to marry" she still hasn't spoken, one cause she was speechless and two cause he still hasn't allowed her to. He looks at her with a raised eyebrow "speak, you're allowed to, you're my fiancé now"

"Fiancé but my Lord-" she spoke and he cuts her off with a "Donghyuck" and she shook her head "You're the prince, Your Highness." she points out and looks at the prince "I can't-You can't"

"And why not?" he asked looking at her, you do know there are hundreds of ladies who would do anything to be my bride"

She sighs and looks up at him "Than ask them, not a maid like me" he smiles amused "is that what you were worried about?"

"My Lord-"

"Donghyuck"

"My Lord, you are a prince, and your bride should be someone who knows how to be a queen someday"

"Tempting, but honestly I'd rather just marry you, I already made an announcement and you agreed, you could've denied"

"Then you would've been a liar!" she yelled and covered her mouth, bowing a full ninety degrees as an apology "forgive me, but I only thought of the royal families well being if you have been exposed, you're whole family would be in trouble"

He wrapped his finger under her chin so she'll look at him "Oh my love, You do know a little something when it comes to royalty"

She pulled away readjusting her dress and looked at the prince as he sighs and nods "Please, Its the modern age and my father is still worried he won't have any heirs, marry me and I'll make sure you, you're family is safe and will get whatever it is you all want"

Anger bubbled up on Y/n's chest at his words, does he actually think that she will agree by that promise? that she could be easily persuaded by money? Yes, it's tempting, she won't lie but not like this, she won't, She absolutely refused. "Do you actually think I can be easily persuaded by that?" her voice was quiet and The Prince looked at her in shock, in all twenty years of his life he has never encountered anyone, much less a peasant to tell him off, it was always Yes Prince Donghyuck, Whatever you say, My Prince "I'm sorry, My Prince but when we return to the kingdom, I will tell the King and Queen the truth" she replies and storms off and out of the room, taking long and careful steps to back to the dining hall, with the Prince at her heals trying to reason with her

"Y/n can't I attempt to make to change your mind?" He asked and grabbed her wrist pulling her so that she'll face him or even better fall into his arms

"My Prince-" she gasped in surprise at the tug spinning around only to collide face-first to The Prince's chest

"Oh my" Prince Chenle's voice was heard and he smiled at the sight "You and Hyuck Hyung are so cute" he gives a comment which made Y/n blush and shakes her head, pulling away from Donghyuck "No wait, Prince Chenle-"

And he just smiles approaching the couple and bowed politely at her "Please It's Chenle when there are no cameras," he jokes and takes her hand in his, pressing a polite kiss on her knuckles "Noona"

A blush covers Y/n's cheeks at the young prince's words "Your Highness-"

"Chenle" He corrects and grins, pulling away from her "Hyuck Hyung, I can't believe you're engaged, you should've seen the look on You're parents face" he slaps his hand in delight "And Lucas Hyung literally started choking when you left"

Prince Donghyuck was quiet as the younger spoke still holding on to Y/n's hand "You found it amusing?"

"No not really," He confessed "I wish the two of you have announced your relationship early, I would've loved to meet the new member of our family," he hums "what were you afraid of Noona? did we scare you?"

Y/n bows her head but didn't reply and Prince Chenle smiled softly "Don't be shy, we're family now" he says and walks back towards the dining hall, leaving Y/n alone with Prince Donghyuck

She looks down at where the prince has her wrist, pulling it away and taking a step back, bowing and following after Prince Chenle

Upon entering the dining hall with Prince Donghyuck behind her, looking at her from the corner of his eye

"Did you guys fight?" Prince Mark asked and stood up greeting Y/n with a kiss on the knuckles "Hyuck here looks like a kicked puppy" He leads you through the ball with Hyuck sitting on his chair

"Prince Mark" she murmured cautiously as he laughs and shakes his head

"Mark Oppa" he pats his chest and motions to every prince in the room "Lucas Oppa, Renjun, Jeno, Jaemin, Chenle, Jisung"

She shakes her head, not wanting to call them by their first name when all of a sudden Prince Donghyuck's Parents stood up and bowed. She yelped "No please your highness, don't bow," she says and shakes her head

"We're sorry, My Child" She spoke "It must be been uncomfortable when we spoke about Hyuck to get a girlfriend when you're here," she reached out to tuck a piece of hair behind her head "Forgive us for being selfish, and causing the fight between you and Hyuck"

She didn't reply in shock and bowed to the King and Queen just as Hyuck goes behind her, holding her shoulders to lead her to the seat "sit down and eat with us"

"Have you eaten, Noona?" Jisung asks as he takes a bite of his meal, he runs his fingers through his hair as he looked at the girl, cheeks stuffed with food

She shakes her head and everyone started ushering her to eat while she sat down on a chair beside Prince Donghyuck "no please eat, I'm not hungry" She looks around but there was no maid or butler around, this won't be an easy conversation later, and a sigh left her lips, playing with the steak In her plate

There was a chorus of whines and groans, ushering her to eat and that she shouldn't be so polite, Donghyuck on the other hand watched her play with her food. He started cutting his steak into small bite-size pieces, grabbing his plate and looking at her "let's exchange plates"

Y/n looked at him, "what?" She asked but it was too late, Prince Donghyuck has already exchanged their plates, the cut-up, bite-sized pieces for her and an untouched steak for him

"I already cut it up," he shrugged and smiled "it's yours"

As the room started to giggle and whisper with the conversation, Y/n took a bite

The room was quiet other than the pleasant atmosphere of conversation when Renjun spoke "Y/n" he calls making the female stand up on impulse, her head bowed and hands on her lap held politely, ready to answer to what the Prince might ask of her.

Her suddenness made the Prince Renjun stand up as well, thinking he may have offended her only to see her stance and smile "No, No" he says shaking his head and his hands "please" he motions for her to sit "I would just like to ask for a question"

She sits down and nodded "yes of course, how can I help?"

He smiles "How did you and Hyuck meet?" He asks with a slight tilt of his head

Y/n looks at Prince Hyuck and he looks back "at the palace" she answered factfully

"Aww really?" Chenle pouts "boring"

"How else would we meet? She is a maid of our kingdom" Hyuck replied and laughed moving to place half of his baked salmon on to her plate, in an outsiders point of view it looks like Prince Donghyuck affectionately giving half of his meal to his fiance, but in reality, Y/n knows that the prince doesn't eat salmon, being a maid into the family for years she isn't surprised anymore, she nods and takes a bite of the fish

Finally giving up, he returned to eating his meal while Jaemin pretended to be disgusted by the sight of affection in front of him

Prince Donghyuck and Y/n were walking in Prince Jeno's Family Garden, her hand out touch the petals of the flowers. The royals will be staying the night, Prince Donghyuck's parents have issued for their son and his fiance to stay in one room

"Is that how your future bride will be treated, My Prince?" She started and stopped to bend over and sniff on the Pink Camellias

"Yes, if you become my bride, my parents, my friends, will treat you like this, you your family will never worry when it comes to financial ever again"

"I'm sorry, your highness. But the world, or at least mine, doesn't revolve around that"

"Be my bride Y/n," He says getting annoyed at the lack of cooperation "I promise you, you won't ever regret it"

"No"

#haechan smut #nct donghyuck #donghyuck imagines #nct x reader #donghyuck x reader #7dream #nct dream #lucas #mark #renjun #jeno #jaemin #chenle #sungchan

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torilovestowrite · 4 years ago

Text

Dabi x Reader; Try Again pt. 9

Synopsis: Years ago, (Y/n) was left by her villain boyfriend, Dabi after discovering an unexpected news. Ever since then, she never had a lover— focusing on her only son, Yuta. Later on, she meets Todoroki Touya— a new co-worker who seem to be persistent towards winning her heart and attention.

Ship: Dabi x Fem! Reader

❗❗❗Content Warning: Mentions of Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Manga spoilers, Dabi is a Todoroki theory

🖤 chapter navigation 🖤

It's been... what, 3 weeks? 3 weeks since that incident wherein Y/n has blown Touya's cover. A huge fight between them happened after that night— the day she returned his belongings. The young woman didn't even waste her time confronting him. It wasn't the most delightful reunion; but a tragic and hurtful one for the both of them— especially to Y/n.

"Here's your stuff." Y/n spoke while she was trying to hand out Touya's black leather wallet. He grabbed it from her hands and stared at her face— meeting her emotionless eyes; still in-shock from what she discovered. It was something that's hard to swallow for her.

"Thanks." Touya attempted to leave, immediately going towards the door after she gave his things.

Y/n rolled her eyes as she began to become shady, sneering at him with her words. "You're so used to running away as if nothing happened, aren't you? Then tomorrow, you'd come back as if nothing happened again."

Touya closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh as he was stopped from his tracks. Yes, he knew that this moment would come— the day she discovers the truth behind his identity. But still, he never knew that it would come too soon— and that it would be this tragic. He felt his guts tightening from stress and pressure; until small flames began to appear on his skin. Ah, it's been a long time ever since his quirk was used; the sensation that the blue fire left on his skin was purely nostalgic to him.

He turned to Y/n and began to face her direction. The young woman's eyes slightly widened but a stoic expression was still displayed on her face. Isn't he used to running away? What is he doing?

"I'm sorry." Touya apologized, coming towards her and attempting to hold both of her hands. Y/n's eyebrows furrowed at his gestures as she began to look away. "I-I know I couldn't come back as someone who I used to be. That's why I did everything so—"

"And you think you can come back just like that?" Y/n's voice was shaking as hot tears began to dwell on her eyes— falling and staining both of her cheeks. "Dabi, you really have no idea how hard it was for me, don't you? You have no idea how difficult it is to find happiness after what you did to me, right?"

He couldn't cry— despite going through a massive surgery, his tear ducts were still burnt. And so, blood came out from his eyes; which caused a bit of panic to Y/n. But they were both crying now— and she didn't know what to do.

"P-Please." Y/n pleaded, removing his hands from her skin. "Stop seeing me and Yuta. Just leave, Dabi."

After that fight, Touya couldn't be seen anywhere. He stopped appearing from work and he also stopped visiting Y/n and Yuta from time to time. It was painful for the both of them— but Y/n knows that she needed time to think; to absorb everything that has unfolded right before her eyes. And as for Touya, he needs to reflect on what he did— and to ask for Y/n's forgiveness. It was bittersweet— but shouldn't it be like that?

Y/n could still remember the disappointment in Yuta's face when she said that he'll never come back. The young boy would always look at the windows to see if his beloved Uncle Touya was there— but of no avail, no one came. She felt bad for her son. Perhaps, it was too harsh for her to decide on her own without even asking her son? Y/n didn't know. But what she knows is what she did— would be the best for all of them right now.

It was a typical Sunday morning for the mother and son duo— Y/n was cooking lunch for the both of them while Yuta was in the backyard playing alone. While the young woman was cooking, loads of questions began to float in her mind.

How did Dabi survive? How did he change his name to Touya? Why did he decide to come back? Just... how did everything turn out to be as it is right now?

It wasn't too long until her thoughts were interrupted after hearing a child-like scream from the area where Yuta was playing. She immediately turned off the stove and rushed towards the scene with her mind filled with panic. Her eyes met her unconscious son who was laying on the ground with light blue flames appearing on his frail-looking body. His skin was bruised— and it was quite obvious that he was trying to catch his breath. Did Yuta perhaps... try to train himself?

Despite the high temperature surrounding his body, Y/n's maternal instincts didn't care. She carried the young child in her arms and rushed him towards the nearest hospital.

"I know I was the one who told you to never come back. But I really need your help this time, Dabi." Y/n guiltily looked at her toes as she spoke to the red-haired man right before her eyes; meeting his blue unreadable orbs.

It's been two days since Y/n and Yuta returned from the hospital. He was unconscious for at least 5 hours— but Y/n decided to confine him in order to assure that his body is in the right track before they could be released.

"Just call me by my real name, Touya." He spoke as he took a sip from the cup of tea that Y/n prepared for him when he visited. The young woman rolled her eyes in return and said, "Whatever, Touya."

"Anyway, I know we're not okay right now... but you have to stick around. At least not for me, but for Yuta." Y/n swallowed before speaking— just like how she'd swallow her pride just for her son to feel more better about his quirk.

"Apparently, Yuta's body was too frail for his quirk— which is why he was left unconscious while trying to train himself on how to control it." She explained, showing him papers in order to prove her point— which Touya immediately read once he received it.

A small smirk appeared on his face as he began to look at the records. "Guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, huh?"

"Train him please." Y/n spoke in a soft tone as she pleaded. "Y-you're the only person I could ask about this. You have the same quirk as him."

A moment of silence wrapped around the room. It was uncomfortable for Y/n, considering that she can't really determine what Touya was thinking.

Meanwhile, the young man was drowning in his thoughts too. His hands were shaking— that old trauma once again came back. What if he becomes like the older man who raised him? What if he ends up hurting Yuta? What if Yuta ends up becoming a young man who claimed the innocent lives of 30 people? What if he ends up becoming like Dabi? But suddenly, these negative ideas began to disappear as he felt a pair of warm hands hold his'. It was Y/n— oh god, did he miss the feeling of those hands.

"Once everything becomes fine, I'll introduce you as his father." Y/n claimed as she squeezed his both hands tightly. "Compensate for your loss now, Touya."

And eventually, without even having any second thought, these words came out from his lips— almost like a slip.

"I will do it." He spoke in a deep tone, "I will not be like my father."

Taglist [OPEN]: @babayaga67 @marydragneell @xxtrash-kingxx @paranoiac-666 @velvet-kissesss @orenjineki @mermaid-starlet @ikita454 @yo-girl-lunar @pansexual-booknerd @daimiyu @marvelousbakugou @peculiarinsomniac @cutesnakemum @sam-i-am-1025 @lawlesshedgehog @sonderkook @miss-buttersworth @threbony @noonewouldlisten25 @missalicebaskerville

#boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia imagines #boku no hero fanfic #mha x reader #bnha x reader #my hero academia x reader #bnha dabi #boku no hero spoilers #dabi #dabi imagines #dabi x reader #bnha dabi x reader #dabi is a todoroki #todoroki touya #touya todoroki #touya x y/n #touya x reader

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dizzyingdaze · 4 years ago

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no seats | s.r

a scenario where you can't keep your mouth shut and steve rogers wouldn't want it any other way.

only warning is cursing

New York was somewhere you never thought you'd visit let alone live in, yet here you were. Clutching the bag of your friends coat as she shuffled her way into the busy cafe during lunch time, the worst time to be in any cafe in the city.

Women in pencil skirts exchanged pleasantries with men in dark suits, briefcases occasionally knocking off the guitar case lain against one of the long sofas a group of teenagers occupied.

The jazzy playlist was overtaken by the loud chatter of the customers, the scent of fresh toasted panini's and cinnamon buns intermingling with the raw coffee bean tones. It was chaos to be short if the screaming baby who knocked over their babysitters iced coffee, smack in the middle of the bustling building, was any indication.

Hearing a hefty sigh pass your side, a young worker grabbed a mop and placed down a wet floor sign, shooing anybody standing nearby away.

"Oh no, we're not going to get any seats I think," your friend Karolina said to you, eyeing the usual window seats taken filled up completely.

You signed in response as the line waddled forward, names being shouted out as you continued to eye all tables, eager to jump at any tables with packing bags and empty drinks.

"I'm going to shoot upstairs and check, get me a mocha?," She nodded her head in reply as you broke away from the impatient grumbles and weaved through the tables.

As you neared the end of the stairs, accidentally kicking an empty cup on the floor, you eyed a girl sitting by herself, nestled in the of the window sets. Her bag sat on one chair while an empty one sat across from her.

Eyes widening with an idea you began to walk towards her when a couple beat you there. An almost six foot boy placed his hands down on the table, garnering the attention of the lone girl.

"My girl and I need somewhere to sit and I see your cup is nearly empty. Mind moving? Thanks," He bared his teeth at her in an almost smile, the annoyed crease between his blonde brows giving him away.

His girlfriend seemed less than interested, typing out a message on her phone, only glancing up when the girl opened her mouth.

"Actually I'm waiting on somebody as I'm meant to be tutoring, I don't mind giving you one of the seats though?" She gave a watery smile, her hands beginning to slowly shake at his direct nature.

He downright glared at her response, leaning further into his hands until his face was an inch away from hers. "I was being courteous, now I'm annoyed. Move it,"

Her face flushed red at the embarrassment as his girlfriend began to giggle behind him, clearly used to his egotistical nature. Your own face flushed too but rather in anger, just who the fuck is this dick ordering around random girls?

What a huff you strode up to till you stood between the two, pushing him back with your hand you glared harshly at him as a "What the fuck?" escaped his lips.

'What the fuck yourself, who are you to tell this girl to move? Everybody here wants a seat to yet you don't seem them acting like a little child," You spat watching his neck go red at the confrontation, clearly not used to it.

He stumbled for a second finding words before shooting back "I can tell whoever I want to move especially if she's been sitting there with an empty coffee cup. I don't have to listen to any bitch trying to boss me around!" The cafe had gone quiet as he shouted out the last sentence, Karolina looking on surprised, the drinks held in her hand. She moved forward to pull you away from the scene but you didn't even budge.

"Oh I'm the bitch? That's rich coming from a dickhead picking on somebody smaller than him, tell me, do you always start throwing tantrums when you don't get what you want? Like a child?," Hearing you call him a child again seem to strike a chord in him.

His girlfriend moved to pull him back as his hand balled in a fist, Karolina whispered to you "Not again, let's go please," into your ear. But you both shared the same stubborn nature, refusing to move.

The tension rose as you just stared each other down, veins almost bulging, jaws clenched so tight they began to ache. The man pointed his finger right in your face, the thought of biting it ran through your mind. "You do not tell me what to do and I'm not a fucking child you hear me? You better learn to keep your sharp tongue to yourself and out of my goddamn affairs!" His attention shifted to the girl he had originally spoken to, her eyes beginning to tear up as he moved the finger from you to her.

Pushing him back again, outraged at the audacity he had to even speak to her again you pushed him back full force with both your hands, grounding your boots into the sticky floor. Taken aback he stumbled into his girlfriend and you swore you could see his pride take a physical hit.

Without missing a beat he rolled his shoulders and balled his fists and you did the same before two large figures stepped between you two.

"Easy there tough guy, hitting a dame the best way to win a fight you shouldn't have started?" The voice wasn't familiar but the metal fingers peeking out of the black denim jacket was, clutching the boys shoulder so hard he bent forward at it. "Let me go what the fuck-" He started before the stranger grabbed the back of his lettermen jacket and dragged him out of the shop through the back exit, the girlfriend shouting along with him as she followed them out.

The second man had bent down in front of the girl in the middle of this all, her shoulders shaking as the man whispered soothingly to her. You coughed awkwardly uncurling your fists, clocking all the eyes on you and your friend just deadpanned at you. "Don't you even try, why does your ass always have to get in the middle of other peoples business? I said, don't start!" She placed a finger over your lips as you obediently went quiet.

You could always explain later. You turned to face the man and the girl, to see how she was when you recognized who he really was. Light blue eyes stared into yours as you took in the broad shoulders and blonde hair peeking out from under his cap. You just blinked in surprise but said nothing, choosing to crouch in front of the girl who was no longer shaking.

"Are you alright?" She nodded, thanking you as she bent forward for a hug you gladly returned, albeit a bit quickly because there was so many people here. "I probably would have moved and most likely cried in the bathroom so you know, thanks for that," You grinned at her response, standing up as Karolina threw her free hand up.

"If you're not outside in the next five minutes i'm throwing your drink down the drain," She stalked out, blonde ponytail bouncing behind her as the onlookers resumed their previous activities, leaving you standing rather stiffly in front of Captain fucking America.

"I take it from your friend being annoyed, you do that thing a lot?" His lips curling up as you nodded shortly. "She's not actually annoyed at me, she'd be more annoyed if I let that twat continue to shout at her and do nothing," He chuckled at that, stuffing his hands into his jacket pocket as you stared at the door your friend left.

"Well don't let me hold you back but hey, Captain America approves of your social justicing! Or in the name of social justice? You get what I mean," His cheeks blushed a light pink as you giggled at his roundabout way of complimenting you.

"Yeah I'll say that next time it happens. Nice to know an Avenger approves! I'd better go..." You trailed off as he stepped to the side and sent a curt salute your way.

As he watched you saunter away Bucky, who re entered the shop from the entrance, clapped a hand on his shoulder, sighing lowly. "She reminds me of you in some weird, female way, hopefully she doesn't end up in back-alley brawls" He commented, Steve scoffed as they made their way back to the two seater in the corner of the cafe, drinks now a gross lukewarm temperature.

"Please, did you hear her? Her words alone could get a guy bleeding internally," The words slipped out and Bucky whistled at them. "Didn't know all it took was some curse words and authority to get you mushy. Yet, Natasha is a poster child for it and you couldn't care less," Bucky grimaced after sipping his hot chocolate, the once sweet warm mixture now cold and slimy on his tongue.

The other soldier slowly circled the rim of his latte, thinking of how fast you stood up to him, pointing your finger up in his face. "Nat sticks up to assholes 'cause it's her job but she did it for the sake of it. Excuse me, I am not mushy!" He sent a quick dig to his friends shin the offended's brows furrowed at the sharp pain.

"Oh yeah? You're wearing the same damn look you did when Peggy came into the pub all those nights ago. Bet you even tried to find her name on those coffee cups the blonde had," Rubbing the attacked body part, Bucky snidely remarked.

Steve said nothing in response, choosing to stare out the window next to him. He was right, your quickly scribbled name was engraved in his mind as was the white ford fiesta you had hopped in a few meters down from the cafe. Not that he was looking, of course, it was mere coincidence his eyes never seemed to leave your figure.

Mere coincidence, he thought to himself as Bucky rolled his eyes at his friends behaviour. He wondered what weird excuse Steve was going to give for the rest of the week or month it would take to run into you again.

#steve rogers #captain america #steve rogers x reader #captain america x reader #marvel imagine

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hello-that-happened · 4 years ago

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How She-Ra, Wrong Hordak, and I Deconverted in Six Steps

Alright y'all, it's time for my fourth essay exploring how She-Ra and the Princess of Power (SPOP) used Christian themes and parallels to provide a humanist message.

My first post named 9 major messages of SPOP that contradict Christian fundamentalism.

My second gave the historical context of how our generation and Noelle's are growing up to overthrow Christian fundamentalism after it became such a powerful enemy in the U.S.

My third discussed the parallel between Horde Prime’s rage at Hordak’s self-naming and the Christian idea that everyone is an instrument of God’s will.

Now I want to discuss how Adora's and Wrong Hordak's journeys defections from the Horde parallel my story, and potentially others', of leaving Christianity. Adora and Wrong Hordak experience many of the same stages in his journey out of the Horde as many ex-Christians experience leaving Christianity.

My own experience leaving Christianity was a journey into atheism, so I will interpret Adora's and Wrong Hordak's stories through that lens. Plenty of people who left toxic/conservative Christianity behind still believe in God, in heaven, and/or in the value of Christian communities. I do not want to minimize or dismiss their experiences, and I welcome progressive Christians as allies in the fight for LGBT+ rights and social justice generally. But when I watched Adora and Wrong Hordak leave their belief in The Horde behind, I saw myself leaving Christianity behind. I want to tell my story through/alongside theirs. I hope some of you can relate, but it is okay if you cannot, regardless of your religious beliefs or lack thereof.

Deconversion in Fast-Forward

Adora, Wrong Hordak, and I escaped from the organizations that raised us and its worldview in six somewhat-distinct stages:

Multiple major characters' arcs in She-Ra begin with rethinking their loyalty to The Horde. Wrong Hordak and Adora both lose their faith in The Horde after a lifetime of indoctrination into its ideals and goals. Their journey away from The Horde mirrors many young Americans' away from Christianity, with at least one notable exception: time. Deconversion takes multiple years for most ex-Christians, but only takes a few days for Adora and Wrong Hordak. Their de-conversion basically represents a speed run of most ex-Christians'.

Full Breakdown of Each Stage

(tw: mention of depression and suicidal ideation)

Adora takes delight in pretending to beat up an imaginary princess in the show's first scene, and later calls princesses "violent instigators who don't even know how to control their powers." She believes in the ideals of The Horde, and feels excited to rise through the ranks to become Force Captain. Obedience to Horde authorities comes fairly naturally to her, and she even chides Catra for being "disrespectful."

Wrong Hordak consistently repeats his loyalty to Horde Prime throughout his first episode and beyond. Even while being attacked by his fellow clones, Wrong Hordak affirms that "We serve Horde Prime's will." Unprompted in the next episode he happily announces, "I believe in Horde Prime!"

I felt proud, as a kid in Sunday School, that I could answer more questions about the Bible than any of the other kids. My church's youth group was the most enjoyable part of my middle school years especially because I got to hang out with the guy I only recently realized I'd had a huge gay crush on. I started viewing "feeling happy" and "feeling the presence of God" as identical. I wrote in my 2011 "Faith Statement" for my church's Confirmation that "I fell in love with God," and that "I thank God that I was born into a good Christian family and was raised to honor God."

Adora is kidnapped by the Horde's enemies and taken away from her home, separated from all of the voices reassuring her that The Horde is a good organization with a just mission. Shadow Weaver is not around to give her orders or map out her future anymore, leaving her alone with her enemies and her thoughts.

Wrong Hordak's connection to the hive-mind he knew for all of his life is severed. "I am…alone?" he asks in shock, then breaks down and cries, "I am alone!" For someone who grew up living in the same mind as his entire communal "family," suddenly losing that connection to everyone he knew would be traumatizingly shocking. The best equivalent I can think of in human experience is being suddenly ripped away from your family and community and then never seeing them again.

I kept conflating happiness with my faith in God for years, even after my crush moving away drove me into suicidal ideation for a couple weeks in 2011. My mental health recovered for a year before settling into a long-term depression in 2012. Because I conflated happiness with the presence of God, my depression felt like something had taken away the presence of God.

Adora defends the organization that raised her by quoting her highest authority: "Hordak says we're doing what's best for Etheria. We're trying to make things better. More orderly." Glimmer argues against Adora's worldview by showing her (1) that princesses are just people instead of dangerous violent monsters, and (2) what The Horde has done: first the ruins of a village destroyed by The Horde, and then that the village of Thaymor which she was told to attack was peaceful, innocent, and happy.

Wrong Hordak grabs Entrapta by the hair for the crime of "trespassing," and enjoys saying, "Prime shall hear of this, and his punishment shall be merciless." But once Bow’s arrow disconnects him from the Horde’s hivemind, he is simultaneously stranded away from the people who constantly reinforced his belief in Horde Prime’s goodness and stuck with a group of people opposing Prime. For a long time, Wrong Hordak simply pretends that the Best Friend Squad™ serve Horde Prime just like everyone else he ever knew. Every line of his dialogue in “Taking Control” is a quick, snappy motto he took from Horde propaganda, like “I believe…in Horde Prime” and “True nourishment comes from the favor of Horde Prime.” [see footnote 1]

I was well aware, growing up in a progressive suburb, that plenty of my high school friends were nonreligious. After my depression sunk in, I found myself arguing about religion with a brilliant but very smug British friend who consistently refuted my arguments in ways I could not dispute. Searching for arguments to support my pre-existing beliefs, I started reading Christian apologetics, but found nothing my friends could not easily refute. [see footnote 2]

Adora sees the ruins of the site of a Horde attack while with Glimmer and Bow, and at first rejects what Glimmer tells her about what she sees to preserve her worldview: "This doesn't make any sense. The Horde would never do something like this…You don't know them like I do." But when she sees The Horde attack Thaymor, the belief system painstakingly constructed by The Horde and drilled into her over 15 (or so) years comes crashing down. At first she can rationalize away her experiences to preserve her beliefs, but when the evidence of her own senses becomes overwhelming she cannot resolve the cognitive dissonance between her belief in The Horde's goodness and her direct experience of The Horde attacking the innocent town of Thaymor. Her worldview cannot explain what she experienced.

Wrong Hordak keeps his belief in Horde Prime's all-powerful nature for a long time after joining the Best Friend Squad. However, when until the Best Friend Squad catches him in a contradiction. He tells them what he was told: that Krytis does not exist. As soon as they start questioning the contradiction he was fed, he becomes extremely uncomfortable. He maintains his denial of Krytis' existence even after they land on the planet, until he can no longer deny the evidence that Horde Prime is not all-powerful.

I grew up, like many of you, on the Internet. My depression began during the heyday of the online atheist movement—and by “heyday,” I mean “seemingly inescapable presence,” especially on YouTube where I hung out. I kept running into comments asking questions that I could not answer: Why does Christianity seem to promote belief based on internal feelings instead of observable evidence? Why would an all-loving god send anyone to hell forever? Why did I believe claims from Christian doctrine and doubt claims from every other religion? Why has Christianity seemed to cling to the past instead of embracing a progressive future? The questions overwhelmed me. I found myself terrified of my own growing doubts. Eventually, my belief was based entirely on two emotions: nostalgia for past happy experiences I associated with Christianity, and a fear of losing the vague hope those experiences gave me.

The first time that Bow and Glimmer met Adora, they immediately labeled her “Horde soldier!,” and the label stuck through the first three episodes. Adora has always identified herself primarily as a soldier serving The Horde, echoing the messages she has heard for her whole life: “Shadow Weaver said it didn't matter who I was before, that—that I was nothing before Hordak took me in.” The language of “I was nothing” reflects cult dynamics where a group tries to retain someone permanently by making them think of themself as nothing more than their worshipful loyalty to the group. Similarly, it is a common Christian belief that “without Jesus we are nothing.”

After realizing that Horde Prime fes him lies, Wrong Hordak collapsed into a sobbing mess. “Who am I if not an exalted brother of Prime?,” he bawled, still thinking that the only legitimate kind of identity is one based on fully devoted worship of an all-powerful authority. Per Entrapta, “It seem[ed] that Wrong Hordak has begun to question the meaning of life.” She later described Wrong Hordak’s breakdown as an “existential crisis,” which happens “when individuals question whether their lives have meaning, purpose, or value, and are negatively impacted by the contemplation.” Without an all-powerful father figure to value him, Wrong Hordak thought, who would?

I identified myself fundamentally as a Christian for my entire childhood and teen years. I found joy, purpose, and a sense of self in my religion. Leaving my religion behind felt like burning the bridge to who I was behind me. When I de-converted from Christianity, I felt like I was standing at the brink of a void. I thought that without finding goodness in God, I might find no goodness at all. [see footnote 3]

When Wrong Hordak finishes (digitally, but also emotionally) processing the Krytis data logs of Horde Prime leaving in defeat, he explicitly renounces his old loyalties and declares his opposition to the organization and beliefs that he used to believe in with all his heart: "Brothers! Horde Prime lied to us. He is a false ruler. We must rise up against him, and free the universe from his unjust reign!"

After Adora betrays the Horde at the Battle of Thaymor, she pledges her loyalty to Bright Moon in her battle against the Horde: "I’ve seen for myself the atrocities the Horde has committed against the people of Etheria, and I’m ready to fight to stop them. If you give me the chance, I know I can help the Rebellion turn the tide of the war."

I didn't have an explicit declaration statement like Wrong Hordak or Adora. However, on 5/5/15 I arranged a meeting with my very friendly and understanding youth pastor as a last-ditch effort to save my faith. I hoped that he would crush my worrying doubts. Instead, actually encouraged me to become agnostic and to look into non-Christian beliefs on the subject of religion. Rather than feeling terrified of what I might find and wishing that someone could indoctrinate me into my old belief system, I started on a path to discover the truth wherever it might lead me.

Footnotes for Context

Christian fundamentalists’ similarly simplistic snappy phrases have been labeled by ex-Christians as “thought-terminating clichés… brief, highly reductive, definitive-sounding phrases” where “Simple labels are attached to something you like or dislike, and they are the start and finish of all thought on the subject.” Such black-and-white “totalistic” thinking is common in Christian fundamentalism, especially how it labels complex political topics as somehow being merely a cover for “spiritual warfare” between the totally good/Godly side and the totally evil/demonic side.

Specifically, I started reading an “Intelligent Design” propaganda apologetics book by Lee Strobel called The Case For A Creator. A self-proclaimed former atheist, Strobel wrote his The Case For series using my same research strategy: Only do research using sources that already agree with you. Whereas Strobel exclusively talked to other Christian apologists, though, I at least tried talking to atheists. Anyway, I walked into school one day with a confident smile and a copy of Strobel’s book and sat down with some friends. One of them, another brilliant atheist but with a far subtler and humbler personality, noticed it and his face immediately sunk into the expression of someone exhausted by the topic as he braced himself for my bullshit. When I confidently asserted a creationist talking point trying to dismiss the findings of some old experiment, he not only knew the experiment but immediately dismantled my talking point. I had no reply. What struck me most was not just his swift rebuttal, but his weary tone: My arguments were not only bad, but so bad that he was genuinely tired of them.

Around the same time, I became obsessed with the character of Kefka from Final Fantasy 6. To me, Kefka represented what I feared most about leaving Christianity behind — that I would lose any sense of meaning, purpose, or morality in my life. ("Life… Dreams… Hope…Where do they come from? And where are they headed? Such meaningless things!") Edgy, I know, but in my mind that kind of absurdism seemed to be an inevitable result of abandoning my religious beliefs. Fortunately, I came to understand that there is plenty of meaning, purpose, beauty, and goodness outside of the particular religion that I happened to be born into.

#she-ra #spop #she-ra spoilers #spop spoilers #religion #christianity #long post #...#about me #religious meta

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hopetofantasy · 5 years ago

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'wtFOCKDOWN: the first Flemish quarantine fiction has arrived'

Translated interview about the behind-the-scenes of wtFOCKDOWN

- Source: Knack Focus (16/04)

Scenes in FaceTime, dialogues in WhatsApp and a director who gives directions in Google Hangouts: the youth series wtFOCKDOWN is the first Flemish fiction series in lockdown mode.

The candidates of 'Blokken' play from home, soaps 'Familie' and 'Thuis' get an early season ending, 'Dagelijkse Kost' has a director at distance, 'Topdokters' sends out corona diaries, 'De Ideale Wereld' does telework. Just about the entire TV world has had to adapt to the new reality in recent weeks and find creative solutions. Usually with the help of FaceTime. Or Skype. Or Google Hangouts.

There is a striking amount of video out there.

However, no Flemish series had to go as far as wtFOCK. The youth phenomenon - in good weeks 450,000 unique visitors go to wtfock.be - always strongly focused on real time and the current living environment of young people. If a character experiences something during the lunch break at school, the video goes online in the afternoon on a school day. For example, if the elections are coming or GOT has its last episode, the characters will refer to it.

Which also means that when the schools suddenly closed indefinitely, all plans for the upcoming fourth season couldn't go through. If all your viewers are home, it makes no sense that the characters still go to school. wtFOCK's solution: the first 'social-distancing drama' in the world, as production house Sputnik, which makes the tv series for SBS and Telenet, calls it. Fiction that not only takes place in quarantine, but is also turned into quarantine. On April 1st, the first video went online, a video conversation between characters Senne and Zoë. Since then, the experiment seems to get more interesting every day.

wtFOCKDOWN is the most far-reaching TV answer to the lockdown yet. How did you come up with a 'social-distancing drama'?

Rutger Beckers (producer at Sputnik TV): As soon as the government closed schools, we knew we had to throw all our plans overboard. It was clear that this wasn't just for two weeks: the lockdown would take much longer. Quickly, we started thinking about a plan B within the team, a very young team, and there were some very long video calls. The term 'social-distancing drama' had fallen quite often. Everyone is in the same situation, everyone runs up the walls. Especially young people. In one weekend, their reality has completely changed and their lives take place between four walls. It seemed interesting to adapt the fiction to that new reality. Plus, we hope it can also be a support or refuge. Everyone is in the same boat: that kind of feeling.

We then put together a small team to see what was possible. A few practice scenes have been written. We tested things with the actors. What works? What not? After a few tries, everyone was very enthusiastic. They were also immediately involved with Telenet and SBS. This was much more than a little plaything or filling a gap in the schedule. It soon became clear that, with the right storylines, this was something fundamentally new. Something no one had ever done before us.

The lockdown was announced on March 16th, on April 1st the first video of wtFockdown went online: that is impressive.

Beckers: Especially in the world of fiction. It helps that we were already very tight regarding film schedules of wtFOCK. The recordings are made four or five weeks before the broadcast, which is short for fiction. Even on set, we continued to adapt storylines to current events.

With wtFOCKDOWN, we can plan everything even closer. The circumstances compel us to do so. Nobody can get together - we are very strict about that. So no locations have to be sought, no extras have to be collected or soundcrew have to be booked. We also have to make it with a very small team. wtFOCKDOWN is shot with the actors, a director and someone who does social media. Everyone is also at home and is available. What makes that you can switch very easily. Simply put: tonight we will decide what things we have written today, will be played out tomorrow.

The videos all start from the home screen of the characters' laptops and cell phones. The story is told in WhatsApp conversations, video calls and video messages. A kind of found footage, but in real time. That is cleverly done.

Beckers: Because it also makes sense: for most young people, the screen of their laptop or smartphone is their only view of the outside world these days. Then it makes sense that you tell the story like that.

Moreover, it is the technology that we really use to create the series. The actors act in their own room with their own laptops and mobile phones. First, we rehearse in a video call, while the director watches. When a scene is right, the actors video call each other and record the scene. It also doesn't matter if the quality of image or sound is a little less: that just increases the authenticity.

wtFOCKDOWN has been running for two weeks now, but as an experiment in mobile television it is interesting to say the least. Real-time WhatsApp conversations set to music, where you see the letters typed, for example, turn out to provide good scenes.

Beckers: That is also something that we ourselves are happy with: that these storytelling techniques work. wtFOCKDOWN was a leap of faith. There were no examples, no anchor points. When we put the first videos online, we had no idea what the response would be. But you feel that our enthusiasm after those first tests, is now also the same as the viewer.

That is also exciting as series makers. It started with a few tests. Then a few videos that came online. Then we started building bigger storylines. And it just keeps getting bigger. Every day we are faced with new surprises and new problems to solve. But that feeling that we are creating something new, something that can be valuable in the situation that young people are living in today, only increases enthusiasm. Especially with the people of eighteen or nineteen years old in our team: you feel that they now want to go for it. Maybe this could be the start of a new kind of genre. Real-time fiction, played decentralized. Who knows.

You're sure no one has ever done this before you?

Beckers: I certainly haven't come across anything. We also noticed that countries abroad have been interested in the concept. In the meantime, we're in contact with the Norwegian public broadcaster NRK, who made Skam (wtFOCK is one of the many remakes of Skam internationally). They were very intrigued by our plans and went to show it to Spain, Germany, Italy and France, where local versions of Skam are also running.

While wtFOCKDOWN explores new horizons, a large part of the Flemish television world seems to be on hold. 'Familie' and 'Thuis' must finish their season early. It is unclear what will happen for programs such as 'Mijn keuken, mijn restaurant' and 'The Voice Kids'.

Beckers: Today the situation is very strange for the TV world, especially with the commercial channels. The ratings are going up. Much more TV is watched than in recent years. Only: there are far fewer advertisers.

It is indeed striking that programs such as 'De Mol' hardly have any commercial breaks.

Beckers: Many brands do not want to advertise now and have postponed their budgets until after the summer. Which will soon cause another strange situation. Autumn normally gets very busy, but hardly any production houses are making programs right now. Almost all productions have been shut down. Running a normal fiction series is simply impossible today.

Will we get a lockdown version of the soap 'Familie' soon?

Beckers: I think that chance is slim. (laughs). With wtFOCK, the new technology is just a bit more in the DNA of the program.

The main thing is that no one currently knows. Everyone is waiting for the situation to normalize and to get up again. It only starts again, when there is insight into the matter.

You are in a precarious situation with wtFOCK, I just realized.

Beckers: Why?

When the government announces that schools remain closed, doesn't it mean that all the plans and footage from the fourth season will be thrown away?

Beckers: That's also the disadvantage of the time limited fiction: the time. All of the references to the end of the school year, or festivals, will be tossed. These caught up with the reality. But we'll see how we are going to get around that. We don't have anything meaningful to say about the future. If I have learned one more thing about the past few weeks, it's that you constantly need to adapt to the new realities and to find new solutions. So it's not just about the wtFOCK.

#wtfock #wtfam #behind the scenes #wtfockdown #wtfock bts #skam #skam remakes #skam bts #skamverse #skam belgium

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mixxoh · 4 years ago

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Save You | One

Contents/Warnings: Swearing, Violence, Gore

Word Count: 7.3k

It had been a while since Veena had been comfortable. The constant feeling of fear and uncertainty had dwindled as the years went by but never went away, a reminder of that time three years ago in Shiganshina.

Veena was only a young teenager at the time of the attack on Shiganshina District. Living with her parents and older sister, she had a happy life living in the quaint yet busy district. Her parents owned a small shop around the corner where she often worked to pass time with her older sister, Olivia. Olivia had been the sweetheart of the district, captivating the hearts of men in Shiganshina and the surrounding districts. She is beautiful, ethereal, and has a way with her words that ensured the likeness of everyone she met. Those characteristics didn't pass well to Veena, however. Veena is pretty, but not beautiful. She's charismatic, but not as much as Olivia. She's well liked, but not as popular. In a way, Veena has always envied her older sister but ever since the fall of Shiganshina, the envy she held for her sister slowly diminished until it no longer existed.

Olivia and Veena were working in their parents shop when the Colossal and Armored Titans destroyed the wall. Veena was behind the counter counting the money they made so far in the day while Olivia was assisting the customers in the shop itself.

"Ven," Olivia called out. Looking up from the cash in her hands, Veena found her sister deeper in the store assisting a man, giving Veena a soft smile with a book in her hands. "Can you check him out? Give him the discount, please!" She asked while handing the book back to the customer, her smile growing larger.

Giving her a small smile back, she looks back down at the cash in her hands. Putting the cash in an envelope, she hears Olivia and the man exchange a few more words. The discount that Olivia gives out isn't much, really, only about 5% off, but she gives it out only to the nicer guys that hit on her. Their parents don't mind either, taking advantage of their daughter's good looks and personality to keep men coming back to the shop. Hearing the customer walk up the the small wooden counter, Veena glances up. Meeting his eyes, she gives him a smile while grabbing the book he handed out to her.

"Just the journal is going to b-"

Suddenly, a loud boom interrupted their conversation. Startled, Veena locks eyes with Olivia across the room, her eyes wide.

"Ven-" Screaming interrupted what Olivia was going to say to Veena. Veena's head snaps to the front windows of the store, breaking eye contact with her sister to see a mass of people running past the store. Now very much scared rather than concerned, Veena puts the book down on the counter and rounds the wooden counter to crosses the store to the set of windows, her gaze set on the chaos outside. Looking out to where the now even larger mass of people are running from, her fear only grows larger. As the smoke dissipates, Veena sees a large titan peering over the wall.

"There's no way..." Veena mutters to herself.

"No way, what? Veena!" Olivia screams at Veena, hearing Veena's muttering over the sound of screaming and shoes on pavement outside. Meeting Veena at the window, Olivia can feel her heart drop into her stomach as she sees the titan for the first time. "Is that...?" She mutters.

Their gaze is interrupted by another loud boom. Casting her eyes slightly downward from the large titan peering at them from behind the wall, Veena sees a large hole in the wall with titans now coming through into the district. Olivia must have seen the event too, quickly grabbing Veena's hand and squeezing it tightly. Veena was frozen in fear, not even wincing at the death grip that Olivia was giving her hand, while Olivia starting shaking in fear, feeling tears form in her eyes as she began to sob. After hearing her older sister's whimpers, Veena snaps out of her daze. Turning to face her sister, Veena grabs her attention.

"Olivia, we gotta go." Olivia's head snaps to meet Veena's gaze, her eyes wide as her heart starts to beat impossibly faster.

"Veena, are you crazy? We can't go out there, there are titans!"

"Are you kidding? We can't stay here, Liv." Veena observes the scene in front of the shop, trying to piece together a plan of what to do. Her mind was scrambling, her eyes fitting everywhere almost all at once, observing the people running by, the titans pooling into Shiganshina, and the large titan that continues to peer at the chaos it's caused.

"Crap." Veena jumps, surprised by the male voice behind her. She had completely forgotten about the customer in the shop. He's peering outside the windows with Veena and Olivia, his eyes wide and breathe hard and fast. This sisters watch as he rushes to the front door of the shop, forcing it open despite the large crowd of people running against the door. Immediately, he's knocked down as the rush of people push past him, no one caring about the grown man knocked to the ground being trampled on.

Olivia starts to sob harder, watching the man being trampled to death in front of her. Staring in horror, Veena struggles to think of a plan to get out of this situation. They need to leave immediately before the titans reach their location and they get eaten, but they can't leave through the front door or else they'll be killed by their own people during the chaos.

"Olivia, we need to go, now." Veena emphasizes to her sister. Turning towards each other, Veena has problem focusing as she watches her sister crumbles to the ground and break down in front of her.

"We'll, um, yeah we'll leave through the back door into the alleyway and follow the crowd. The alleyway should be empty. I'm sure the Garrison is doing something about the crowd right now." Veena concludes out loud. "Liv, let's go." Grabbing her hand roughly, Veena pulls her sister up to her feet and starts to make for the back door on the opposite end of the shop. Pushing the door open, Veena pulls a sobbing Olivia into the alleyway. Looking at the open end of the alley, another large crowd of people are rushing by. "C'mon Olivia." Pulling her sister's hand hard, Veena and Olivia start running to the open end of the alley to the mass of chaos. Meeting the crowd, Veena pushes herself and Olivia into the swarm and beginning sprinting with the flow of people.

It's absolute chaos, the sounds of people's screams and cries are deafening as they run to who knows where. The sight of everything are traumatizing itself, lone children crying for anyone to listen, dead bodies already littering the streets, and destroyed homes.

As they continue to run, Veena can feel Olivia pulling back on her arm. "Ven, what about mom and dad?" She manages to say despite her sobbing and her being out of breath due to the running.

Veena's blood runs cold, forgetting completely about her parents during everything happening. Truthfully, she's doesn't know what to do. She's conflicted, because if she risks finding her parents, her and Olivia's lives are even more at risk than they are now. However, if they were to continue with their current plan, they may not even see their parents again. Veena realizes she has to decide quickly seeing as they're approaching the market where their parent's were shopping at during the time of the break on the wall.

"Fuck, okay," Veena hesitates, "we'll swing by since the market's close, but we're gonna be quick, okay? We can't risk wasting too much time." She concludes as she tells Olivia. She can hear Olivia hold in her sobs, grateful that Veena is taking over in this situation.

Olivia had always envied her sister. Veena had always been headstrong and quick to think and move. She's incredibly strong mentally, never allowing things to bother her, or at least if it does, she never shows it for the sake of those around her. Olivia wasn't dumb like many thought, she knows many girls of the district were jealous of her beauty and charisma and many men wanted her. She knows her reputation in Shiganshina, but never truly understood why her sister didn't have the same reputation alongside her.

Honestly, Olivia was scared. Her mind is racing with thoughts of what will happen, what did happen, and is happening. She desperately wanted her parents here to help them and to make sure they were safe. Olivia felt immensely guilty right now, having her younger sister take over and protect the both of them during a time like this.

Turning right, Veena continues to pull Olivia throughout Shiganshina, weaving themselves around people, rubble, and bodies. After a few more minutes, they reach the almost deserted market. The market was a large area filled with booths of vendors selling anything you need or can think of, however, now it was just an area of destruction. The usually large, empty, area was now littered with broken booths, produce, bloodied bodies, and stone from the now destroyed wall. With barely any people making their way through the area, it was easier for Veena and Olivia to look around.

"Remember, Liv, make it quick. Okay?" Veena tells Olivia. After Olivia makes her understanding known, they separate their hands. Veena and Olivia begin to look in every spot they can for anything to identify their parents with. They look under pieces of booths, around corners, and even under rocks in their desperate search for their parents.

Suddenly, Veena hears Olivia release a scream. Snapping her head in Olivia's direction, just a few feet to the right of her, Veena finds her older sister with her knees on the pavement, her shoulders shaking as she sobs. Veena feels her stomach drop, immediately running in the direction of her sister. Meeting her, Veena feels her heart break at the sight in front of her. Sinking to her knees next to her sister, she too starts to cry at the sight of their parents dead bodies. Veena couldn't believe, just a while ago her parents were leaving the shop with a smile and a wave, claiming they'd be back soon.

Olivia starts sobbing harder and hides behind her hands, not believing her eyes while Veena sits still, tears running down her cheeks as she's frozen, not being able to process what she's seeing. Closing her eyes, Veena leans her head back, facing the sky, and inhales deeply. After she lets out a breath, Veena brings her head back down looking one last time at her parents. As Olivia continues to sob, Veena reaches for her parents' hands and grabs their wedding rings. She pockets them after slipping them off of their fingers and moves to stand up. As she leans back, she feels the ground rumble. Alarmed, Veena looks up and around, trying to find the source of the noise. Wiping the tears from her blurry eyes, the sound continues. Veena attempts to find it while she stands up, getting ready to grab Olivia and run. The rumble gets louder each time it occurs. Footsteps, Veena realizes. Now very alarmed, Veena attempts to get the attention of her still sobbing sister.

"Olivia, we need to go right now." Veena emphasizes, reaching down to grab her sister's shoulders, still searching for the source of the footsteps.

"Ven," Olivia manages to choke out, "I don't think I can go." Her hands still holding her head, covering her eyes.

Veena snaps her head to the back of her sister's, "Olivia, you're kidding me right? We can't stay here, let's go." Veena's grip on Olivia's shoulder's tighten as she attempts to pull her sister up to her feet. Olivia struggles, wanting nothing more than to be with her parents right now.

Veena's eyes sting with fresh tears, "Liv, please, we need to go."

"I can't leave them, Ven!" Olivia for the first time since finding their parents lifts her head from her hands and locks eyes with her sister's. Veena's heart aches more, if that were possible, as she looks at her sister with red eyes and tears threatening to spill out, but trying her hardest to hide it for her older sister's sake.

"Olivia, please, I can't lose you too. Let's go before-" Suddenly, Veena realizes the footsteps are much, much closer than just a minute ago. The thuds becoming louder and louder with each passing second.

"Hey!" Veena whips her head behind her to the sound of the deep voice calling out to them to find two Garrison soldiers running their way. "What are you guys doing? Get to the boats!" One screams as they make their way to Veena and Olivia.

A loud thud distracts Veena however, bringing her gaze to the area before her, locking eyes with a titan standing at the opposite end of the market. Her breathe hitches and her adrenaline rushes through her, her blood turning cold with panic at the sight of a titan just mere meters in front of them. Olivia either doesn't notice or fails to care, continuing to grieve their parents' deaths with her head buried in her hands.

The Garrison soldiers arrive to the sisters, noticing the titan standing just in front of them. "Shit," one of them mutters, "Smith, grab her and run before that titan decides to move for us, alright?"

The other soldier swallows thickly and nods, moving to grab Olivia's elbows to pull her up from the pavement. The soldier that spoke grabs Veena's shoulder, spinning her around and taking her frozen gaze from the titan that still hasn't moved.

"Are you okay? You both need to get to the boats immediately. Let's go." He says to her as he pushes her in the direction the soldiers came from on the opposite end of the market from the titan that continues to stare at them.

"Wait-" Veena tries to reason, not wanting to be separated from her sister.

"No, you need to leave now. Understood? The boats are waiting, you know where they are. We'll deal with her. Just focus on your safety right now." The Garrison soldier interrupted.

Veena knew he was right, in times like this you need to be selfish and think for yourself, no one else. However, Veena had already lost her parents and didn't want to lose her sister too. Veena's mind was racing with what to do, either she stays and risks her life, or she leaves and risks never seeing her sister again, whether that be death or being separated wherever they end up as refugees. She felt herself finally break down. Veena always prided herself in keeping her stress and fear hidden from others, in knowing when to step up and be there for everyone else. But she was tired. As the seconds ticked by, she felt her resolve dwindle little by little until she could barely hold herself up. She felt her eyes stinging with tears, threatening to slip out at any moment. Veena felt sick with herself. She's ashamed that the one thing she prided herself in is failing. She's ashamed that she can't support her sister who needs her right now more than ever, that all she wants to do is run and never look back.

"Liv, please, let's go." Veena pleaded with her older sister as her tears finally slipped out, staining her cheeks. She stood just a meter behind Olivia, watching as Olivia shook her head no. In a way, Veena was mad. She was extremely frustrated at her sister, her collected façade finally fading away at her sister's constant denial to save herself and her sister. Veena felt herself get angrier as the seconds ticked by. Why is her older sister acting like this, a child? Veena shouldn't be the one calling the shots, being the comforting hand in a time like this. She's only so old, being 15 years young and having to save her older sister's life as well as her own.

Veena sense movement in front of her, noticing the titan beginning to move slowly toward the group.

"Shit, Olivia, get your ass up and let's go the boats, now." Veena demanded with her sister one last time, her patience stretching thin as the situation gets worse and her stress level rises.

"Smith, bring this one to the boats," motioning towards Veena, frozen in fear as she watches the titan slowly but surely make its way towards them, "I'll carry that one to the boats. Move now!" the Garrison soldier ordered to the other. Immediately, Smith sits up and makes his way to Veena, grabbing her elbow and pulling her with him to the boats. Veena wants to struggle, wants to stay with her sister, but she can't find herself doing so, allowing the Garrison soldier to pull her in the direction of the boats. After taking a final glance at her older sister, Veena turns around and runs to the boats with the soldier, making a silent final goodbye to her family.

Veena was sitting on the soft grass outside, basking in the cool air of the autumn season as she looked at the calming scenery in front of her. She was enjoying the view when she heard footsteps behind her, the sound of flattening grass causing her to turn her head as she observed who had decided to interrupt her intended time alone that she sets time for everyday. The bright sun behind Veena had blinded her momentarily as she shifted her gaze to the intruder, quickly covering her eyes to protect them from the bright sunlight. She curses, turning her gaze back around to the view of the small town below her from the hill. Veena heard a deep chuckle resonate from behind, the person coming to interrupt her peace and quiet now just inches behind her. Immediately, she scoffs, knowing exactly who is now taking their seat next to her on the grass to join her.

She rolls her eyes, "Shut up, Marco."

He fully laughs this time, always amused by way of conversation. "Oh please, Fischer. You're a dumbass, I can't help it."

She felt herself crack a smile at that, "You're such a fucking smartass, Marco. Now leave me alone, you know 5pm is my alone hour." Out of everyone in the 104th Training Corps, Veena was closest to Marco. After the fall of Shiganshina, she had been alone for years, her witty and quick to engage attitude long gone. Veena never looking anyone in the eye, never stood up for herself, and never bothered to befriend anyone. In a way, Veena did this to punish herself. She greatly regretted what she did to her only sister, Olivia, leaving her to die in order to save herself. Veena had always hated selfish people, but had turned into one even with family involved. Her life had no direction during those years, only living to survive. Granted, there wasn't much she could do as a refugee. She constantly felt like a burden to those around her and the locals made sure the refugees knew that with either their words or their actions. Veena felt empty during those years, at some points just waiting to die, the loneliness and guilt eating at her constantly. Everyday, she wished to go back and do things differently on that day in Shiganshina.

She finally started to feel like less of a burden and more of a person when she joined the 104th Training Corps. Seeing it as a way out of being a refugee, Veena reluctantly signed up and started her training. As the days went by however, she started to actually enjoy herself. She made friends with those training alongside her and felt her burdens slowly lift off her shoulders.

Veena began actually looking forward to being a soldier, getting the opportunity make up for her sins and protect others rather than herself. She trained hard everyday, never backing down without a fight, in hopes to make it to the Military Police to live a quiet and comfortable life. Granted, it would be more rewarding for her to join the Survey Corps or even the Garrison, but even after the fall of her home district, she was still a selfish person on the inside now matter how much she hated it. Veena definitely wasn't the best cadet out there, far from it really, but her dedication to improve had caught the eyes of her superiors and fellow cadets to where she was seen as a respectable soldier, despite her skills. However, she wasn't as skilled as she had hoped, choosing to join the Survey Corps after failing to make the top 10 cadets during her training.

Veena felt Marco place his hand on her shoulder from beside her, giving it a small squeeze as he said, "Yeah, well, dinner's ready. I thought I should be a good person and grab you before all the food ran out and you just got the scraps."

Feeling herself scoff, she muttered out, "Fucking Sascha. I swear, she hasn't gotten better about this food thing after all these years, even with everyone beating her ass about it everyday." Looking to her right, she sees Marco pull a large grin, silently agreeing with her.

"She is crazy, that's for sure." He agreed. "Eat with me, we haven't eaten together ever since our first day of training."

Veena felt her blood boil, getting annoyed with what Marco was requesting despite knowing how his bestfriends act around each other. "Marco, you know I can't do that. Meals are Jean's time with you." She reasoned with him. She loves Marco, she really does, but she would definitely rather spend less time with him if it meant she could avoid Jean.

Jean and Veena used to get along, them two with Marco making an iconic trio. However, Veena and Jean's friendship ended suddenly, for reasons both of them couldn't identify. Now, it's a mutual hatred, both competing for Marco's attention. Granted, Veena knows she doesn't need to prove her friendship with Marco to Jean, very confident that her friendship with Marco is strong. Normally, she would find this type of behavior childish, wanting nothing to do with it. But for a reason unknown to her, Jean frustrates her to no end, to the point of her participating in his childish competition.

Looking to her right, she sees Marco frown, still looking at the scenery of the small town in front of him. "Yeah, I know." He mutters to his friend to his left.

She leaves it at that, feeling Marco's obvious disappointment but not wanting to get into it, knowing her attitude would get the best of her. Jean and Veena's constant competing has affected Marco the most, no doubt. Constantly being called to one of the two while the other is present, having no choice but to be in the middle of whatever their trying to prove to each other. It was hard on him, his usual nice and friendly demeaner running thin when the two of them are together. Veena obviously senses this, so she tries her hardest to either avoid Jean or ignore him, for the sake of her and Marco's sanity. Jean makes it hard to do so, however, loving how he can rile her up and see what reactions he can get out of Veena.

Veena moves to stand up, Marco's hand sliding off her shoulder at the movement. Brushing the dirt off of her pants, she holds her hand out for Marco to grab. After reaching his own to her, Veena helps him up. "C'mon, let's go eat before Sascha gets a chance at the food."

They make their way back to the Mess Hall, the sun now setting behind them. "I'll stop by your dorm after dinner for a little, I promise." Veena says, peering up at the tall man next to her. His happy eyes fit to hers, giving her a warm smile at the promise.

"Good," he says, turning his gaze back to the Mess Hall, "I miss you, Fischer, we don't hang out anymore." He informs her, the pair getting closer to the doors of the cafeteria.

Veena scoffs, rolling her eyes in annoyance.

Marco interrupts her before she can say anything, "I don't wanna hear it, Fischer, I know. It's always Jean. Why can't you guys just get along? Like old times?" Marco asks Veena, he voice softening. He really did miss his best friends getting along.

Veena sighs at that, not wanting to continue the conversation. "I don't know Marco, ask him." She stops the conversation at that. Arriving at the doors of the Mess Hall, Veena gives Marco a small wave and smile as she opens the doors and walks in, "I'll see you after dinner, I promise!"

Marco gives her a small smile back, following behind her and making his way to sit with Jean, Sascha, and Conny. He takes a seat next to Jean, saying his hello's and settling into the conversation at the table. Sascha and Conny are complaining adamantly about training tomorrow, not looking forward to the hand-to-hand combat that was scheduled for the cadets. Jean was listening to the two friends complain, saying things here and there, but never saying too much in the fear that their captain, Levi, will hear, who will not hesitate to enforce the harshest of punishments on his scouts.

"I cannot be paired up with Mikasa again this time." Sascha emphasized to their group, remembering Mikasa landing Sascha on her back every time they re-matched. "She's insane, I was sore for a week after that."

Conny nodded enthusiastically, "She really did beat your ass over and over again, it was impressive you didn't die from embarrassment, honestly." At that, Sascha smacks Conny's arm next to her, "Ow!" He exclaims, rubbing his somewhat sore arm.

"Annie's insanely good, too." Marco butts in, remembering her spar with Ymir just last week.

"Fischer's really good too, definitely not on the same level as Annie or Mikasa, but definitely a good fight." Conny commented, watching her spar last week with Christa. Granted, Christa wasn't much of a fight, but Veena made very good technical points.

Jean scoffed at this, "Please, I could take Veena in a fight." Glancing to a table a few meters in front of him, where Veena sat eating with Reiner and Bertoldt. This made Conny and Sascha laugh hysterically, eyes wide at the claim.

"Jean, you're hilarious! There's no way you'd win in a fight against Fischer, but I'd definitely pay to see you try." Conny managed to let out in between his laughs, his mouth set in a wide grin as he looked at Jean. However, Jean had his hard gaze already fixed on Veena, planning to prove his friends wrong by beating her at training tomorrow. Jean pushes up off the table suddenly, standing up and beginning to make his way to Veena.

"Oi! Jean, where are you going?" Conny calls out to him but Jean ignores him, already close to the table Veena resides at with Reiner and Bertholdt.

"Hey." Veena jumps, startled at the sudden intrusion that interrupted her conversation with her friends. Looking up, she sees none other than Jean making his way to her table. Instantly, her mood sours.

She rolls her eyes, "What do you want, Kirstein?" She asks, fitting her gaze onto his.

"Pair up with me tomorrow."

Her eyes widen, amusement starting to settle in as her lips start to curl into a smile. "Are you serious right now?"

This infuriates Jean, seeing her amusement in her eyes.

"Um, Jean, no offense, but I really don't think that's a good idea." Bertholdt butts in, sitting to Veena's left.

Jean scoffs, "What's that supposed to mean?" He accuses.

"Jean, listen, we don't mean to be rude to you when we say she would easily put your ass on the ground." Reiner points out from across the table, causing Veena's smile to turn into a grin.

She meets Jean's eyes again, "Why would you even want to pair up with me Kirstein?" She asks him, confused by his request.

"Well, Veena, everyone seems to think you're good at hand-to-hand combat." Her smirk grows at this, "But," he continues, "I disagree, you're average, at best."

Immediately, her smirk vanishes and her eyes narrow at him. At this, Jean wears his own smirk, satisfied with her reaction.

"Excuse me?" She asks him, offended. She can't believe his words, her ego definitely wounded as he insults the one of her defining features as a scout. They have the attention of the whole cafeteria now, everyone watching the scene unfold, nervous as to what's going to happen next. Veena and Jean are known to get aggressive with each other, constantly bickering, with some of their arguments almost reaching physical. This sort of thing was common for the group, Jean and Veena always finding something to argue about.

Veena chuckles darkly, standing up from her seat and leaning onto her hands that sit on the table in front of her, eyes set firmly on the man in front of him. Their eyes narrow at each other, trying to figure the other one out. Veena rounds the table, making her way to stand in front of Jean, never breaking eye contact with him.

"Y'know what, Kirstein, why even wait for tomorrow? We can find out right now if my 'skills are average, at best.'" She challenges, blood boiling and adrenaline running. They step closer to each other, challenging each other with their eyes as they continue to stare, eyes never fitting anywhere else. Veena can hear someone stand, the sound interrupting the silence that had fallen throughout the Mess Hall, shoes hitting the wooden floor as whoever it is comes closer to the pair. Eren put his hands on Veena and Jean's shoulders in an attempt to calm the situation.

"Guys," Eren said to the pair, "break it up before Captain gets here."

"Shut the fuck up, Jeager."

"Stay out of this, Eren." Veena and Jean snap at Eren at once. Eren backs off, removing his hands from their shoulders and huffs out a sigh, returning to his table with Mikasa and Armin.

"I'll take you up on that offer, Veena." Jean mutters to Veena, his voice quiet and deep.

Ignoring how he called her by her first name, Veena's eyes widen slightly at the sound of his voice, a shiver running down her spine and her body warming up, not expecting it to sound so deep. She's startled at how she reacted to his voice, realizing that she sort of liked hearing him say her name like that. Scoffing, she rolls her eyes, annoyed with herself.

Jean notices the actions. Thinking her attitude was a result of what he said, he feels his annoyance at the girl grow. He takes another step closer to her, watching as she instinctively takes a step back at his intrusion.

"Watch yourself, Kirstein, don't cross a line with me." Veena warns him, feeling uncomfortable with how close he's gotten to her, not enjoying how her body is reacting to him being so close.

Jean, of course, is unfazed by her warning, staying where he is. If he's being honest, Jean is worried. His body is on fire being this close to Veena and he doesn't understand why. He's never been this close to her, even when they were good friends, and a small part of him doesn't mind being this close to her. However, the majority of him had sirens going off in his head, telling him to back away before he did something dumb.

Before he was able to, though, the doors of the Mess Hall slammed open, revealing Captain Levi alongside a nervous-looking scout. His eyes fall on Jean and Veena immediately. "You two," his voice booms in the quiet Mess Hall, grabbing everyone's attentions immediately. Jean and Veena salute him, turning away from each other and facing their captain. Veena can finally feel like she can breath, the situation far too tense for her liking. "Come with me," Levi orders, turning on his heel and walking outside.

Nervously, the pair follow. After meeting Levi outside, he stares at them for an uncomfortably long period of time.

Jean and Veena stare back, too scared to move or say anything. After a few more long minutes, Jean begins to speak, "Um, Captain-"

"No," Levi cuts him off. "You'll speak when I allow it. Now, one of you, tell me why I just had a scout interrupt my meeting with the Commander so I can make my way over here to break up a potentially physical altercation, which, as I saw when I arrived, was very close to being violent." He orders at the pair, his eyes flickering between Veena and Jean, waiting for an answer.

Veena's heart starts racing, trying to get a grip to give her superior an answer before Jean ruins it by opening his mouth. "I apologize sir," she starts, her eyes meeting Levi's, "Our argument got out of hand, it won't happen again, sir." She apologizes, starting to feel ashamed she let Jean get to her and for things to get so far.

Levi is not satisfied with her apology, he will not condone behavior like this from his squad. "I will administer your punishments tomorrow," Levi informs, "now, finish your dinners and don't let this happen again. You're supposed to work with each other, not kill each other," He warns, "If you desperately want to fight each other, do so during training." He finishes, leaving the pair as he returns to his office.

"You're a dumbass, Jean." Veena breathes out after the Captain is a good distance away. She's exhausted from everything that has occurred in the past 15 minutes, feeling a headache take over. She turns, intending to walk back into the Mess Hall to finish her dinner before bed, seeing as she needs to shower and chat with Marco before heading back to her own dorm for the night.

"Fuck you." Jean counters, saying the first thing that can come to his mind as he trails behind her. She ignores him, and continues to her table. She plops back down on her seat, her elbows resting on the table in front of her. Veena brings her head into her hands, shielding her eyes from the views of everyone and massaging her temples.

"Are you okay, Fischer? What happened out there with Levi?" Reiner asks her, moving across the bench to sit in front of her.

She lifts her head looks at him, "He's deciding our punishments for tomorrow. I just have a major headache right now. I think I'm gonna leave dinner early and head the showers, I'll see you guys tomorrow, yeah?" She says to the two, standing from her seat.

"Yeah, see you. Let us know if you need anything." Reiner ensures, sliding her dinner his way to finish. She smiles at that, appreciating that the food won't be going to waste due to her loss in appetite. She waves them a goodbye, turning around and entering the hallway to head to her dorm to prepare for her shower.

Veena's mind is racing, if she's being honest, not quite used to her reaction to Jean being so close to her. She hates him, that fact is obvious, and the way her body started heating up at his deep voice and close proximity made her feel sick. She decided to ignore this for the time being, pushing it to the back of her mind. Arriving to the room she shares with Christa, Veena walks to her side and begins rummaging through her dresser. Finding her pajamas and grabbing a towel, she begins her trek to the showers. After her shower, she arrives back to her shared room, finding Christa also getting ready for her shower.

"Veena! Oh my god, are you okay? You seemed really stressed out after talking to Levi." Christa expressed her concern, wanting to make sure her roommate wasn't hurt as Levi is known to be harsh with his punishments.

Veena smiled at this, looking at her roommate, "Don't worry, Christa, I'm fine. He's telling us our punishments tomorrow. I'm just exhausted, is all. Jean infuriates me too much. Also, you know-"

"Yeah, yeah, 'Only call me by my last name,' whatever." Christa rolls her eyes. "But Jean can be a pain," Christa agreed, "be sure not to let him get you too worked up, okay? I'm worried about you."

Veena laughs at this, genuinely happy that she has someone to look after her. "Thanks Christa, but don't worry about me, I'll be fine." She promises to her roommate. After getting dressed, Veena turns her attention to Christa, watching as she grabs what she needs to freshen up before bed. "I'm going to chat with Marco for a bit, so don't wait up!" Veena says to Christa as she opens the door, heading out into the hallway. After hearing Christa throw out a, 'See ya!', Veena shuts the door behind her and begins her walk to the other side of the dorms that house the boy's rooms. After walking only a short few minutes, she arrives at Marco's door, giving it a knock. After a minute of waiting, the door swings open to Jean with his shower supplies being carried under his arm.

At the sight of Veena standing outside his door, Jean lets out an annoyed huff, turning his head to Marco, who was sitting on his bed reading a book, already having taken his shower. "You didn't tell me she was coming over, dude. Warn me next time so I can be out of here before I have to look at her."

Veena scoffs at Jean's annoyance, shouldering him to push into the shared dorm room. "Shut it, Kirstein, I'll only be a minute." She says, making her way to sit on Marco's bed with him.

Jean watches her pull herself onto Marco's bed, leaning her back against the wall next to him. "Whatever," he says, "Just be sure you're out of here before I get back." He finishes, heading out the door and shutting it behind him.

Jean couldn't help but feel annoyed. He hated how she was everywhere, whether that be in the same area as him, hearing her name slip out of other people's mouths, or now, even in his head. He hadn't thought of her like this until recently, tonight's events at dinner riling him up. Jean wasn't sure if it was due to annoyance or something else, but his body reacted to her in a way he didn't want to happen again, embarrassed by how caught up in the moment he got. Yes, he likes to push her buttons to see how far he can push her before she cracks (he honestly couldn't believe he almost got her to crack tonight), but tries to restrain himself from going too far, before things get physical or things are said that can't be taken back.

Veena misses hanging out with Marco, this fact becoming much more present as they talk on his bed. They were laughing, Marco bringing up what his friends were talking about at dinner tonight, specifically about what made Jean snap and challenge Veena. She was laughing hard as Marco recounted what Conny and Sascha had said of Jean when he left the table to find her. The door to Marco and Jean's dorm swings open suddenly, causing Veena to halt her laughter and snap her gaze to the front, startled by the sudden intrusion. In walks a topless Jean, his towel hanging around his hips and his hair still dripping with water. Veena's eyes widen an embarrassing amount, her eyes glued to Jean as he steps in the room. Holy shit, Veena thinks, her cheeks starting to burn. Immediately, Veena whips her head to the side, taking her eyes off of the man in the doorway as she shuts her eyes, Ew, she thinks to herself, disgusted that she had this kind of reaction to Jean.

"Fuck dude, put some clothes on next time, yeah?" She shouts angrily at him, her head turning back around to face him, eyes concentrating on his as she glares at him.

Jean scoffs, turning away from her as he rummages through his drawer to find some clothes to change into. "Shut it, Veena, I thought I told you to be gone by the time I got back. Plus, this is my room, don't overstep." He warns her, annoyance creeping up on him. It was embarrassing enough to have to walk around the halls in nothing but his towel, and now he really didn't want to be reminded that the reason he had to do that in the first place was due to Veena's presence. He had completely forgotten about his change of clothes, for some reason his mind wiping clean when he opened his door to her small figure waiting on the other side.

Veena rolls her eyes as she jumps off Marco's bed, smoothing out her clothes after her feet land on the wooden floor beneath her. "Alright, whatever, I'm leaving now." She announces to the pair, turning her body back in Marco's direction behind her. "See ya tomorrow, Marco." She says to him, giving a wave. She makes her way to the door, "Later, asswipe. By the way, stop calling me by my name, you know it pisses me off." She calls out to Jean as she opens their door, continuing through the doorway as she hears him respond with, "Yeah, whatever."

After pulling on his clothes, Jean climbs onto his bed on the opposite wall of Marco's, leaning his back against the wall. He looks at Marco, who pulled his book back out after Veena had made her leave.

"You still like her, don't you?" Jean asks Marco. Pulling his eyes from his book, Marco cracks a smile as he looks back at Jean.

"Oh please, Jean, that was ages ago, I'm over it. You never got over your crush for her, huh?" Marco cracks a smile, the memories of those years ago resurfacing as he turns his attention back to the book in his hand. Marco had always thought about this, assuming the reason Jean had changed his attitude with Veena was because of some dumb crush, but as the days turned into months and the months now turned into years, Marco isn't confident in his theory anymore.

Jean doesn't even hesitate as he scoffs, "I never liked her like that, Marco, you know that. She pisses me off too much."

Marco knows Jean is lying, "I really don't believe you, Jean. You know, it's okay to like her, she's cute, you gotta admit." Marco teases, enjoying this (one-sided) playful banter.

Jean is really annoyed now, "I'm not talking about this right now."

"Life for us is short, Jean, don't waste too much of it with petty arguments and being in denial, yeah?" Marco lectures. Jean lays down now, pulling the covers over intending to go to sleep soon. He can hear Marco sigh, putting his book on the nightstand next to him. As Marco puts out the oil lamp, hiding their room in darkness, Jean can't help but replay Marco's words in his head over and over again, annoyed knowing Marco is right about having a short life in this world.

Yay! First part! I'm not sure how many part there are going to be total, I didn't plan that far ahead. You can also find this work on my Wattpad and AO3 account! I'll be combining chapters here since I'm anticipating over 20 chapter so far and I don't want to have that many on here! Let me know how you think of Save You so far!

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