#Oh? You've got mommy problems and also everyone problems and no one loves you?

[flamesfrenzied]

Have come to the conclusion that I don't want just matched freak. I want freak that is surpassed. Freak that is obliterated. Freak that is blown out of the fucking water

[songmingisthighs]

[8.39] dad!jongho × baby!yechan (ft. dad!atez & baby!xikers)

⇀ yechan is such an excitable, happy baby. well, maybe a little too much but nothing jongho can't handle. besides, you both are trying something new on yechan today, that should be fun. right?

⇁ you've heard of hammer time. now is impulse time

genre : fluff, dad!au, baby!au

wc : 3k

baby!xikers collab

buy me coffee ?

From the moment Yechan was able to walk, both you and Jongho know that you got a particularly hyper baby in your hands.

No matter how much you and Jongho whine and panic over Yechan running away at any chance he got, the both of you are actually very glad your son is a happy baby. Sure, the motto in your house has changed to "oh god, where's Yechan?" and you both had to come up with strategies frequently in case Yechan found a way to break free once again, but you just love him so much to actually complain or hate his little quirk. This was why you came up with a weekly trip to the park so that you can bargain with the little bugger to calm down the rest of the week and let loose on that one day in the park. Well, you voiced your concern to your husband's friends and Yeosang jokingly suggest letting the 'pup' have all the fun he wants in the great outdoors. Little did he know, you'd take the suggestion seriously. Of course, Jongho complained about how his hyung had just insinuated that his son needed to be taken for a walk like a dog, but even you can't deny the boy has some puppy qualities to him.

Unlike his 'cousins', the moment Yechan was strong enough to stand, he immediately tried to run off. This was expected as the baby had once crawled around the house so quickly like a crab running from predator. That day, you and Jongho spent the whole day losing, finding, and caging your son who seemed to be able to slip away no problem. Jongho even boasted that one day his son can be a pro athlete to which Mingi joked that it can also mean that Yechan can potentially be a successful thief. Everyone agreed to Jongho almost immediately, after Jongho pinched a large and very dark bruise to Mingi's back.

Yechan, being the smart kid that he is, was fully aware of the days he was going to be out at the park with his cousins based on how the previous night and morning went. Usually, he'd be tucked into his bed in the middle of his cartoon and in the morning, you'd make him pancakes and let him use as much syrup as he wants and his dad would always have to help him not drown the pancake in a lake of syrup (much to his disappointment). Then, after wiping his mouth clean, you'd carry him to his room and let him pick out what he wants to wear from the selection you've put out. After he was done putting his clothes on, his dad would bring him out and sat him down on the couch to watch his cartoon as you and Jongho got ready yourselves.

Usually, that was it. The moment you said 'let's go, boys', Yechan would get off the couch and have you or his dad put his sneakers on his feet. But today was different, he saw you wearing a dress which you usually won't wear especially when you all were going to the park. And Yechan couldn't help but panic when he saw you putting on high heels with him and his dad just standing there, watching.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Jongho asked, sighing as he helped you slip your feet in your shoes without crouching down by holding your hands. You nodded at him as you straighten up, "Yes, and because it's a gift, we are going to try it, okay? See if Yechannie likes it," you turned to look at Yechan who was looking at you with much confusion. "Mommy, let's go?" he asked, tilting his head and raising his arms as if he was asking you to carry him. You cooed and opened your arms to which he immediately ran and hug your legs. Gently, you pat Yechan on his head as you explained the situation, "Mommy needs to go meet some of mommy's friends so you go meet your hyungs with daddy, okay?"

The pout on the baby's face almost foiled your plans of not joining them at the park. But thankfully, Jongho stepped in by grabbing the baby up into his strong arm and pulling you into a quick kiss, "Okay, I see where this is going and you are meeting up with your friends, you're not cancelling," he then gently pushed you to the front door and even opened it to let you out, "Yechan and I will be fine so you just have fun, okay?" This time, it was your turn to pout at your husband. "Fine, but please let me know if anything happens, okay? Especially if any one of them makes fun of Yechan," you huffed. Jongho raised an eyebrow confusedly, "Baby, I don't think Yechan's cousins are going to make fun of him, they're great kids," he defended. You rolled your eyes and sighed at your husband's blatant confusion, "I'm talking about your friends, honey. Particularly the one that sounds like a tea kettle," to which Jongho nodded in understanding. "Don't worry, I can handle him just fine, now you go before you're late." Before you could turn to walk away, Yechan squealed and almost threw himself out of his dad's arms. "Mommy, kiss!" he pouted, arms spread widely and eyebrows furrowed in utter displeasure. You couldn't help but giggle at your baby's adorable clinginess that he definitely got from his dad (much to his denial) and took a step back to properly blow a raspberry to your son's cheeks which made him giggle in delight before leaving.

Soon after you left, Yechan was put back on the couch as Jongho cleaned up some things before going into Yechan's room to retrieve something. When Jongho came back in front of Yechan, he looked back and forth between the item in his hands and his son a couple of times, clearly hesitating to do something. Yechan could only stare up at his dad in confusion, not understanding why his dad seemed so concerned. "Daddy?" Jongho snapped out of his trance at the sound of his baby calling for him, "Let's go?" he grinned widely, excitedly awaiting their departure to the park. Jongho smiled at the innocent boy and nodded, signalling that he could get off the couch and that they both were going out.

Just as Yechan was about to walk to the shoe rack, Jongho stopped him and crouched in front of him. "Buddy, you need to wear this before we go," Jongho said as he began attaching the item in his hand to Yechan's body. Yechan looked down, unsure of what the thing is but didn't feel disturbed. Out of curiosity, Yechan tugged on the straps and felt around to feel where the contraption was but before he could even understand what it is, Jongho had scooped him up and placed him on the porch to put both his and Yechan's shoes on. Once Jongho deemed that everyone was ready, he took Yechan in his arms and locked the door before walking off to the elevator to the car, ready for a day of having fun with his son and his friends along with their kids.

The ride to the park wasn't long, they all had managed to find the perfect park not too far from where they were all living separately and the kids love the place to bits.

As per usual, Jongho got off the car first before he rounded the car to his son's side to get him out of his seat. With the clasps of the seat off, Yechan was just about ready to jump off and run to find his friends when Jongho pulled him so that his head was leaning onto his dad's strong shoulder, exposing his back. "Okay buddy, I only need to attach this to you and then we're good to go," Jongho said. Yechan heard something clicked but he didn't know what it was because he couldn't see what was going on. Nevertheless, the thought was wiped away when Jongho carried him in one arm as the other arm carry his diaper bag before closing the car door and locking the car.

Even from simply looking at the leaves Yechan was already excited. The thought of playing tag with his cousin Hunter and Sumin ran through his head, he also wanted to know what toy his cousin Junmin brought that day or what clashing colours is his cousin Minjae wearing. The closer they got to the rendezvous point, the jumpier Yechan got. This is what you would call the equivalent of a race car warming up before taking off and whenever Yechan does it, it never failed to make Jongho chuckle because it was just too precious.

"Yechan!" Yujun screamed when he finally saw his cousin Yechan in Jongho's arms approaching them. Hearing Yujun call Yechan out, the rest of the boys ran away from their parents and out of their games to greet Yechan even though he was still quite further away from the rest of them. Yechan was more than happy to be welcomed though, he started wiggling around, trying to get out of his dad's grasp to run off and meet his cousins halfway. Any one of Jongho's friends would say that it's hard to get out of his grasp but as Yechan is his little baby, Jongho tends to be more gentle and less restrictive on him which was why Yechan was able to jump off and run free towards the nearest boy, Seeun.

One thing Yechan didn't account for was the contraption Jongho put on him not too long ago.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?" Wooyoung's boisterous voice rang as he fell into Yeosang who was trying to figure out what it was they were seeing. Seonghwa smacked Wooyoung on the backside of his head with his eyes widened in shock, "Can you not say the f word in front of my kid?" he scolded. Wooyoung could only kept laughing though, pointing at Jongho and Yechan, "How can I when the fuck i meant is Jongho with his kid on a leash!"

With that, the rest of the adults on the table; Seonghwa, Yunho, Yeosang, and San snapped their heads to gawk at Yechan who was being pulled to the playground by his cousins as Jongho tailed behind with something in his hand that was attached to Yechan's body.

The closer Jongho got to his friends, the hotter his face felt. It was a huge relief that Yechan didn't seem to understand why his uncles found it so funny that he was tethered to his dad like so. Because Jongho was damn embarrassed for the both of them.

"Don't say anything," Jongho grumbled as he placed Yechan's diaper bag on the picnic table. Wooyoung was trying so hard to hold his laughter in, to the point that he looked like he was trying so hard to not shit his pants. Yunho and Yeosang were in a similar situation but not as severe, both of them sporting dumb grins on their faces as they watched the youngest dad trying his hard to not scream out of embarrassment. San on the other hand was still trying to figure out what it was he was seeing. "Is Yechan on time out or something? Is he being punished?" he asked, looking up at Jongho, not quite sure what he was actually seeing. Maybe Jongho forgot to unlatch the straps of Yechan's car seat and he's just THAT strong that he managed to rip the straps off?

With a groan, Jongho braced himself with the fakest smile he could muster. "No, it's called a safety child tether, it's supposed to-" Wooyoung cut him off before he could say what it's supposed to do, "It's a damn leash, Jongho, I bought Hunter's puppy's the same model but in a different colour," he laughed. At Wooyoung's words, Yunho burst out laughing while Yeosang turned to Yujun as a way to hold his tongue for the sake of the toddler. Thankfully, before Jongho could send Hunter home to his mom with a message that his dad is now floating in the next galaxy, San shoved a sandwich into Wooyoung's mouth to successfully shut him up. "Dude, Yechan's not a dog," he scolded his friend, receiving nothing but a scoff from him but thankfully no backtalk. Just as Jongho felt glad that at least one of his friends is defending him, San turned to look at him and stated with a deadpan look, "But yeah man, that's a leash." "It's not!" Jongho cried, plopping himself on a vacant spot, simultaneously pulling Yechan off of Junghoon and closer to him, "It's a child safety tether and (y/n)'s friend bought it when she heard that we got a runner in the family." Out of curiosity, Seonghwa took a seat closest to Jongho after handing Junmin his juice box, "Wait, which friend?" he asked, to which Jongho simply answered, "The middle-aged lady with like 6 succulents on her desk and always wear that red coat." All of his friends almost simultaneously smacked their foreheads in disbelief and it took Yeosang saying something to make Jongho understand, "You mean the lady with 6 dogs and counting?" It was then that Jongho looked down on Yechan and remembered what you told him after you brought home the so-called present, something about your friend using the same thing on her misbehaving child. "But she does have kids!" Jongho tried to defend himself. "Those dogs are her kids, Jongho, we all saw her Instagram page!" Yunho said, shaking his head.

Defeated, Jongho could only stare at his son who was staring up at him innocently. He felt bad and almost like he was responsible for putting him in such a position. Almost.

"And look who we have here!" Jongho heard Mingi call out.

He turned slightly and saw Mingi and Hongjoong walking towards them whilst carrying a cooler together. Wanting to greet them, Yechan let out a squeal and was about to take off on his own but he ended up flopping onto his stomach with an 'oof' instead because the tether held him back.

Sumin squeaked and ran to Yechan's side, followed by Hyunwoo who left his sister Soohyun with Junghoon to check if the toddler was okay. Jongho was about to jump in and hold the boy in case he cried, but Yechan only looked up and grinned goofily at everyone around him. Even as Sumin and Hyunwoo help him up, Yechan only giggled until Mingi crouched down in front of him.

"Why hello there... Puppy?" He joked, almost making Wooyoung choke on his water. "Hyung..." Jongho warned but Mingi just waved him off, "Look at you all happy!" Mingi pointed out which made Yechan giggle louder and stomp on his feet side by side, "Your tail's a-wagging!" Mingi exclaimed, causing Wooyoung to burst into another fit of laughter, surprising Hunter who wanted to ask him for his water bottle. San and Yunho had to drag him away before he burst his stomach. "Hyung, I swear," Jongho warned, pouting at how his friend was making his son seem more like a puppy. "Oh, lighten up, Jongho," Hongjoong chuckled, "You know your son is a good boy. A very, very good boy and we just want to appreciate that," he smirked. Realizing that Hongjoong had jumped in, Jongho could only groan and bury his face in his palm. "I swear, you guys are KILLING me," he grumbled into his own hands. Yechan took notice of his dad's posture and pouted, momentarily leaving his uncle Mingi to tap on his thigh, "Daddy, okay?" worry was obvious in his voice, not liking that his dad seemed distraught. "Maybe your dad just needs a drink, Yechannie. Here, fetch!" Mingi reached into the cooler and was about to pass Yechan a bottle of cold water. Thankfully, Jongho heard the command first and his head shot up to glare at the two people before him, "No, don't! Yechan, stay!"

The adults froze when Jongho slipped a command at his own son. They all needed a moment to process what had just happened but once complete realization was made, not even Seonghwa could hold in his laughter, he had to turn his body so as to not laugh even more while Hongjoong doubled over, holding his stomach. Yeosang was clutching his chest as he continuously slap Jongho's shoulder in amusement, laughing at both Jongho's situation and the fact that Mingi was on all fours on the ground, heaving like a cat trying to pass a furball. On the other side, a little bit further away, Yunho was laughing at how San and Wooyoung were completely on the ground, clutching their foreheads in pain as they laughed. They had managed to bump their foreheads together clumsily but not even that could stop them from laughing their asses off.

"Guys, please, you're all ADULTS with CHILDREN!" Jongho scolded angrily but the shade of red on his face indicated that he was rather embarrassed.

Confused, Yechan tugged his dad's pants and tilted his head to the side, "Uncles okay?" behind him stood Sumin who could only stare at his dad on the ground with his eyebrows furrowed. Hyunwoo had run off when he heard his dad laughing whilst saying 'ow', concerned and curious. Of course, Jongho would be more than happy to explain to his child that his uncles are crazy or that they were possessed, but Yechan was just a child and it would be such a shame to waste a good excuse in this situation. With a sigh, Jongho smiled at the boy and pat his head before removing the tethe- fuck it, it's a fucking leash, he removed it from his son's body before sending him and Sumin off to play, a cover because he was about to kick some grown-up ass.

Safe to say, you came home later in the day with the child leash ripped apart and shoved into the trashcan followed by Jongho ranting about how the day went. Even you had to admit it was funny but with your husband's passion for his son's justice, you decided to keep quiet and tease both him and Yechan at another day. Most likely the very next.

network :

@cultofdionysusnet @kflixnet

taglist :

@yvnnieurl @kodzukein @phenomenalgirl9 @skzatzloveismonsterous @memorymonster @thesolarplanetarysystem @dreamlesswonder86 @maddiebabyxoxo @imababywolf @do-you-actually-care @marievllr-abg @ilsedingsx @wasteitonserendipity @bbymatz @noonaishere @honeyhwaaa @ateezourstars @yoonjunshi @yoongiigolden @camillelafaye @charreddonuts @jcngh0-hq @kpopnightingale @starryunho @atinct @mirror-juliet @hyuckilstan @jayb17 @kpoplover718 @haatohwa @x-bluee @erinaimeexx @blackb3ll @mingiholic @angelicyeo @vampcharxter @meowmeowminnie @marvelous-llama @kawennote09 @hongjoong-lovebot @ming-ki @stopeatread @spooo00oky

[vfdbaudelairefile13]

Misery Loves Company Part 2:

Meet Esmé Squalor:

The city's sixth most important financial advisor, powerhouse fashionista, and fixated on revenge coke addict. Esmé takes no time showing the orphans that she is just as scary and dangerous as Olaf and sometimes they think she is the worst of the two. Esmé has one thing on her mind and that is her precious sugar bowl which she vows she will steal back or she will burn the entirety of VFD down trying.

Esmé has no problem with any of the vicious acts that Olaf suggests. She is down for just about anything he has in mind. Murder? Yes. Very in. Kidnapping? Yes. Completely In. Arson? Yes. The innest thing since aqueous martinis. And making sure a young child is never able to sleep peacefully again? In her words that 'deliciously in'. The children have a new villain to watch out for and believe it or not...shes more unstable than Olaf.

《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》

[Trigger warning: subtle and not so subtle hints at Esme and Olafs hideous and devious intentions with teenaged orphans. Please read with caution]

Olaf was driving like an absolute psychopath as he raced from the burning hospital to the rundown carnival in the hinterland. He was angry. He felt defeated. Not only did those three blasted orphans escape his clutches AGAIN, now apparently someone had survived one of the fires...which one? He did not know. But that bastard, Jacques Snicket, seemed so sure of it when Olaf was watching that video. *stupid fucking VFD and their stupid fucking members escaping their well deserved deaths!* he thought as he growled as loud as he could. And to make matters worse while he was driving this way all he could think about was the woman who broke his heart so many years ago and so many times since then because he was driving just like her.

"YOU IDIOTS LET MY PRETTY LITTLE PET RUN AWAY!" He yelled hitting his fists as hard as he could on the steering wheel.

"Well technically boss..." the bald man spoke up. "She didn't *run away* the bookworm rolled her away on a gurney,"

Olaf growled again. "Oh. How I *cannot* wait to obliterate *that* brat! Oh, he thinks I've been brutal before, he hasnt the faintest fucking idea! And if you dont shut your mouth YOU WILL FEEL MY WRATH AS WELL!" Olaf yelled.

Now everyone in the car shifted a little, even Esmé who was unamused at the whole situation but kind of fearing for her life as he drove like a unpredictable madman. But...when I say that everyone in the car shifted a little...I mean *everyone* and even the three secret passengers in the trunk shifted a little especially Klaus Baudelaire who started to shake.

"Klaus...Klaus...you're fine," Violet whispered desperately reaching around for his hand. Once she found it she squeezed his hand tightly trying to keep him in reality with her and Sunny.

"We shouldnt have gotten in this trunk," Klaus whispered back. "He is going to kill Sunny and I...and..." he stopped talking when he looked towards Violet, who frowned. Both older orphans knew what Olaf would do to Violet if given the chance. Hell, both older orphans knew what Esme wanted to do with Klaus if given the chance. They both feared that even Sunny, by now,  Had a faint idea of what Olaf was talking about. "Why did....you *make me*... get in his trunk," klaus cried as he began to sob. Sunny turned her head towards her brother.

"Shhhh," Sunny pleaded. "Quiet," she reminded Klaus.

"We're going to die..." he whispered fearfully.

Violet frowned as she held klaus' hand tighter and grabbed Sunnys hand with her free hand. "I got you guys," she whispered. "I'll always protect you,"

"We know," sunny whispered back.

"Can you believe there is a SURVIVOR!?" Olaf shouted and then he screamed in pure anger. "Just when Ithought I was winning! I framed them for my MURDER for fucks sake! I HAD that pretty little brat!" He screamed angrily.

Violet shuddered and Sunny put a comforting hand in hers.

Esme scoffed and rolled her eyes when he mentioned Violet being 'pretty' again. He turned to her. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!"

"HOW THE FUCK IS THIS *MY* FAULT!?" She asked angrily. "It was YOUR idea to use the girl as bait!"

"But you let the Baudelaires take the Snicket bitch right out the operating theater!"

"YOU SET THE HOSPITAL ON FIRE! I GOT THE FUCK OUT OF THERE!" she yelled. "He was standing right next to YOU. Why didnt ypu do anything!"

"HE WAS HOLDING THE LARGE KNIFE YOU GAVE TO HIM!" Olaf yelled back. "The plan was to use the girl as BAIT! NOT have him actually kill her! She is our key to BOTH fortunes!"

Esme gave a wicked smirk. "Oh...that was the plan? I must've forgot,"

"You pathetic jealous bitch!" He yelled.

"Oh *Im* pathetic? You've lost to these children for MONTHS now!"

"YOUVE LOST TO THEM TOO!"

"If I was in charge of this entire thing, those two girls would be dead and the boy would be our little prisoner," Esme replied wickedly smiling.

This made Klaus shiver and Sunny put her free hand in his the same way she had for Violet.

"You wouldnt have the SNICKET fortune if you killed the Snicket bitch you dumb bitch!"

Esme smiled wickedly at Olaf again. "I dont need Lemony's fortune...hell, unlike *you* I dont need Beatrice's fortune either," she laughed. "No what *I* want is to make *Beatrice's little mommy's boy suffer* " Esme tapped her long nails against her window. "Of course I also want back what's *mine*!"

Olaf rolled his eyes. "*So do I*!" He screamed. "But NOW one or two of them might not be inheritors of ANYTHING! SINCE THERES A FUCKING SURVIVOR!"

"Darling...youre honestly looking at *that* all wrong. I think this is good news," Esme replied

 Olaf responded by pushing his foot harder on the pedal.

"How is that a GOOD THING!?" hr asked.

"Well...think about it. Whoever it is. We will get to kill," esme pointed out. "I personally hope its Beatrice. I'd love to kill that sugar bowl snatching bitch...ooooh and we could make her children watch!"

"Or we can torture her children in front of her," Olaf pointed out smiling.

"Who do you think the survivor is boss?" The hook handed man asked.

"I dont know. If its Bertrand...well that's the least exciting option. But Esme's right...if its Beatrice, torturing her or her precious son and daughter would be fun."

"What about Snicket?" The henchperson of indeterminate gender asked.

Olaf pushed hard on the brakes causing everyone to ram forward a bit. His car came to a screeching halt. Violet, who had the misfortune of getting into the trunk first was squished harshly against the end of the trunk as Klaus tried to shift himself away from violet to give her room. Violet had let go of Klaus' hand in attempt to shield Sunny from hitting anything. Olaf turned around to face his henchperson. "I doubt that its Snicket...but...if it is...let's just say when I find his pretty pipsqueak daughter...I will make him watch as I *destroy* her entirely and then I will make her watch as I murder her father agonizingly slow and then I'll murder that stupid fucking bookworm and biting brat in front of her too," he hissed causing Violet to start shaking.

He took a deep breath and began driving again. Esme huffed in annoyance as the hook handed man did his best to hide a disgusted face.

Klaus looked to Vi. "Speaking of that...did he...?"

Violet wiped a few tears from her eyes. "I dont know...while I was conscious, no. Esme kept barging in before he could do more than touch my face or leg. But... when I was unconscious...I dont know. Wouldnt I know? Like...wouldnt I feel different?" She whispered as she began to sob quietly.

Klaus sighed. He didnt know the answer to that. He just gave Violet a small smile. "Yes, I think you would feel different. So if you feel the same then he didnt," he lied as he shifted his arm under her head to give her head some support. He had no way of knowing...and he feared that Violet would never get a true answer.

Violet nestled closer to Klaus and Sunny as she shivered form the cold mountain air that seeked in through the bullet holes of Olafs trunk. Klaus and Sunny could hear her whimpers and shivers. Klaus tried his best to take off his suit jacket from where he laid but he couldnt. Sunny shifted to lay more on Violet to act as a blanket for her. "Violet..." klaus whispered.

"Yeah," she replied back in a hushed tone as she wiped a few tears from her eyes.

"I just wanna say this... if I ever find out that he *did* hurt you or if he ever *does* hurt you like *that*...or if he continues to try to hurt you like *that* **I'll castrate him myself...**" klaus whispered. Violet looked towards her brother and even in the cold, dark trunk of their worst nightmare's car, she could see the dark look in his eyes.

"Klaus...you dont..."

"Oh you're right," he replied. "I'll hold him down and let you do it if youd rather.."

Violet gave a small chuckle to that.

"Darling! I've been thinking about what you said back in crow town,"

"What did I say back in crow town?" Olaf asked confused as he continued to drive like a psycho.

"Well... you said that the boy was much more fun to torture than either one of the girls...and *you're right!*" Esme recalled. "So why dont we just keep him,"

Olaf growled. "Wr are keeping the Snicket bitch! That little tease has another thing coming..."

"We are keeping the boy..." esme demanded in a tone that made Klaus shudder.

"Why dont we just keep who we catch first?" The hook handed man replied. "Besides when we left the hospital the brats were stuck in a utility closet...I doubt they all made it out,"

Olaf snickered at this. "It would be nice if one or two of them burned to a crisp...just like their parents," he began smiling and laughing.

"Well, except the survivor," the henchperson of indeterminate gender replied.

This sent Olaf into another screaming and raging fit.

Esme rubbed her temples. "I just want my sugar bowl...that's it...that's all. I'm down with murder, kidnapping, and making it to where little children cant have another peaceful night of sleep but I AM NOT DOWN WITH THE YELLING AND THE INSANE DRIVING!!!!"

"Fuck off...we are almost to Caligari Carnival. Then we can ask Madame Lulu where to find that little Snicket tease and the two other ugly brats," Olaf replied.

Esme rolled her eyes. *I will kill that fucking brat. Hes not touching any girl related to that bitch Katherine* she thought as she continued to rub her temples. 

Esme was not someone who was used to someone telling her that she cant have her way. She was too rich, beautiful, and powerful for *that* bullshit but as she sat in the passenger seat of Olaf's car she was beginning to think that shed have to take matters into her own hands if she was going to get what she wanted. Olaf seemed determined to have the Snicket brat as a captive...and Esme would rather have the infant than the Snicket girl.

"Do we have any wine? I'm parched and I heard wine is very in this time of year,"

"We have some in the trunk. I would be happy to get it if we stopped," the hook handed man replied.

The three children froze. Violet put her arm around Sunny tightly as Klaus put his arm around Violet to hold her and Sunny, who laid on top of Violet hoping to keep her warm, put a loving hand on Violet and her other on Klaus. Their hearts stopped as Olaf stopped the car.

[dxlfhotch]

here i am giving you full lyrics and my interpretation and everything, this took so long to write so please feel free to cry with me. I did a mix of all different kind of Mitski songs from different albums and genre's shes done.

Emily Prentiss

"Me and My Husband"

of course i had to do this song, it can fit her and Doyle or if you're a hotchniss shipper I suppose you could apply this song to them too, depending on the tones, everyone has a different perspective of this song.

["I steal a few breaths

From the world for a minute

And then I'll be nothing forever

And all of my memories

And all of the things I have seen

Will be gone/But me and my husband

We're doing better

It's always been just him and me

Together

So I bet all I have on that

Furrowed brow/And I am the idiot with the painted face

In the corner, taking up space

But when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved"]

"Your Best American Girl"

lyrics and guitar just felt like it matched her tbh, it was either this or Frances Forever, but im indecisive as fuck

["Don't wait for me, I can't come

Your mother wouldn't approve of how my mother raised me

But I do, I think I do

And you're an all-American boy

I guess I couldn't help trying to be your best American girl

You're the one

You're all I ever wanted

I think I'll regret this"]

"Nobody"

this could apply to most cm characters, but after she faked her death? Yep. Cant put lyrics bc tumblr is being fruity

Spencer Reid

oh boy is this bitch mentally ILL yet again who isn't theres so many ones that can apply to him oh lord

"Class Of 2013"

AHAHHAHA yea,,,, hes mommy issues to the max. I think the lyrics apply to his thoughts of 'i had to grow up to take care of you, i wish you could've just taken care of me instead' kind of thoughts, its all self explanatory.

["Mom, I'm tired

Can I sleep in your house tonight?

Mom, is it alright

If I stay for a year or two?

Mom, I'll be quiet

It would be just to sleep at night

And I'll leave once I figure out

How to pay for my own life too

Mom, would you wash my back?

This once, and then we can forget

And I'll leave what I'm chasing

For the other girls to pursue

Mom, am I still young?

Can I dream for a few months more?"]

"Why Didn't You Stop Me"

Again fairly self explanatory, season 2/3 Reid with his drug problems and him having to get over Gideon leaving, boy oh boy

["I know that I ended it, but

Why won't you chase after me?

You know me better than I do

So why didn't you stop me?

Why didn't you stop me

And paint it over?

I look for a picture of you

To keep in my pocket

But I can't seem to find one

Where you look how I remember

Look how I remember

Look how I remember

Paint it over"]

"First Love/Late Spring"

theres way too many songs that relate but just read these fucking lyrics man

["Lately I've been crying like a

Tall child

So please hurry leave me

I can't breathe

Please don't say you love me/And I was so young

When I behaved

Twenty five

Yet now I find

I've grown into

A tall child

And I don't wanna go home yet

Let me walk to the top of the big night sky"]

Penelope Garcia

oh my sweet girl garcia,,,,

"Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart."

If you think about when she got shot by that guy she met at the coffee shop, she said something across the lines of "guys like that don't look at girls like me and think I'm beautiful" and hhahahhahahah broke my heart

[" So I don't blame you

If you want to bury me in your memory

I'm not the girl I ought to be, but

Maybe when you tell your friends

You can tell them what you saw in me

And not how I turned out to be

There is some kind of burning inside me

It's kept me from falling apart

And I'm sure that you've seen what it's done to my heart

But it's kept me from falling apart"]

"Strawberry Blonde"

THIS SONG IS SO PENELOPE like ugh last one was sad but shes just so sweet and tries to be happy and hgh i love her also ooh sad song happy beat who knowssss >:)

["I love everybody

Because I love you

When you stood up

Walked away, barefoot

And the grass where you lay

Left a bed in your shape

I looked over it

And I ached/ You tell me you love her;

I give you a grin

Oh all I ever wanted was a

Life in your shape

So I follow the white lines

Follow the while lines

Keep my eyes on the road

As I ache"]

Derek Morgan

"I Will"

i actually found this song from an edit of Morgan and Spencer's friendship, and i cried a bit. I feel like this song is his need to take care of his loved ones, same with Hotch, that protective nature he has to make sure everyone's okay.

[" So stay with me

Hold my hand

There's no need

To be brave

And all the quiet nights you bear

Seal them up with care

No one needs to know they're there

For I will hold them for you"]

"Door"

oh haha you thought it was gonna be a happier song? no fuck you (ily) ahhah remember in season two they talked about his childhood? I think you know where this is going. C*rl B*f*rd. Yep. its really fucking sad and he deserves better and the lyrics hurt.

["There is a door to me

I've never seen it

Sometimes I get closer to it

But I've never found it

At twilight I almost had it

But then the night fell

I looked out at the dark and wondered

How could I have lost it?

Then one night at the park

I saw it with my cheek in the dirt

I couldn't move underneath the dark

But at least I finally found it

It cried out a creak and opened

To show me what's beyond it

A hopeless, a violence

I named it love"]

Aaron Hotchner

good lord all the shit they hinted at his childhood and his dad, plus everything that happened in the show oh boy oh boy

"Washing Machine Heart"

while i really believe this song could fit legit aNYONE on the team it reminds me of hotch the most. him going through his divorce, strauss giving him shit and just everything,, jesus

["Baby, though I've closed my eyes

I know who you pretend I am

I know who you pretend I am

Do mi ti

Why not me?

Why not me?"]

"Last Words of a Shooting Star"

after haley died he was probaly sad as fuck and ahhahahha lyrics oh boy

["And I am relieved that I'd left my room tidy

They'll think of me kindly

When they come for my things

They'll never know how I'd stared at the dark in that room

With no thoughts

Like a blood-sniffing shark

And while my dreams made music in the night

Carefully

I was going to live"]

"A Pearl"

the lyrics,,, i have a hard time explaining but just listen to it smh

["Sorry I don't want your touch

It's not that I don't want you

Sorry I can't take your touch

There's a hole that you fill

You fill, you fill

But it's just that I fell in love with a war

And nobody told me it ended

And it left a pearl in my hand

And I roll it around

Every night, just to watch it glow

Every night, baby, that's where I go

Just to watch it glow"]

Jennifer Jereu

she lost her sister at a young age and she definitely feels a lot of empathy for families of victims, especially with her own kids at home

"Pink in the Night"

jemily vibes? yea if you want tbh

["I could stare at your back all day

I could stare at your back all day

And I know I've kissed you before, but

I didn't do it right

Can I try again, try again, try again"]

"Fireworks"

remember when she got kidnapped and they didnt pay much attention to her trauma? yea this just reminds me of that

["One morning this sadness will fossilize

And I will forget how to cry

I'll keep going to work and you won't see a change

Save perhaps a slight gray in my eye

I will go jogging routinely

Calmly and rhythmically run

And when I find that a knife's sticking out of my side

I'll pull it out without questioning why

And then one warm summer night

I'll hear fireworks outside

And I'll listen to the memories as they cry, cry, cry"]

i definitely will update this later and do this with more artists, theres a lot I missed and feel like i need to add more AHHHHHHH

EDIT: LMAO WHOOPS I FORGOT ROSSI whatever ill add him and Alex and other characters like that later bc nnmmnhhjm MISTKI

i should kin assign criminal minds characters Mitski songs 😁 see how you hoes feel about that