#Oh gosh! Dip stomping! Haven't done *that* since highschool! And Bill's just the kind of high-ranking magic user they wanna impress! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thatonegayship · 2 years ago

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Hey man me again, it’s nearly 3am and i was curious. What would theoretically happen if someone (say a human bully, or a lesser uninformed demon or smthn of the sort) were to put down and talk absolute shit about Dipper with the anticipation of Bill joining in and/or being impressed and agreeing cause here’s this super cool and sexy guy surely he also thinks Dipper’s a useless freak right? How would Bill take this kinda confrontation about his husband? Would his reaction vary depending on wether or not Dipper was there? (I lowkey think it would but I’m just a worm in a bait bucket uk) (also sorry this comes across like a fucking critical thinking question from a middle school textbook)

At best someone talking shit about Dipper gets a long lecture about all the reasons Dipper is way, way cooler than them! And some broken bones. That's Bill's husband, he picked a great partner, and he is not going to pretend otherwise for someone else's ego.

The rant's absent if Dipper's around, but frankly? It'd be better for the bully/demon if Dipper was around to hear someone dissing him to Bill. In that Bill would refrain from the most gruesome acts within his mortal's sight.

Though if they're smart, they'll notice the way Bill's looking at them, and take that brief amount of time to run.

#People don't understand Bill and Dipper's relationship. All the bickering and teasing is honestly ENDEARING #Anyone from the outside looking in is going to think that they must really hate each other and anyone who *does* know #Is going to let out a tiresome groan when they start up with the poorly cloaked flirting and tenderness #Jesus you two. Get a room!!!#For the bullies who used to beat on Dipper (especially this One Jerk) they're thrilled to hear someone starting up the Dipper hate train #Bill very loudly and very openly proclaims Dipper the World's Hugest Loser (affectionately) while flicking his head #Oh gosh! Dip stomping! Haven't done *that* since highschool! And Bill's just the kind of high-ranking magic user they wanna impress!#It's almost too easy to slide back into their usual habits of picking on him and all of his glaring flaws. Physical and magical and other #Giving him a little shove isn't hard even though he unlocked a buttload of magic seemingly over night. Wasted potential on this guy #Even an ant would've been a better candidate than this weirdo somehow hitting magical puberty #Not that it matters. He's still a freak; right Bill? ☺️#They look back for confirmation only for their blood to immediately go cold- Bill's looking on like he's too angry to even *move*#They threw a few names at Dipper. And pushed him. That's usually the golden ticket to a Job Well Done from any bully #The only reason Bill didn't immediately tear their heads off was because their intervention confused him #They just sort of barged in and started laying it on Dipper with insults and harassment. Totally not cool since Bill was doing that first!#It's familiar in a way that's almost friendly but that can't be right with the way Dipper's features fall #His usual pout morphs into a stiff grimace as they throw their arms around his shoulders smiling and taunting laughter #God it's even more embarrassing with Bill there. He ready didn't feel like being verbally and physically humiliated in front of his husband #That's a purely bedroom occassion and *no one* else is involved. Not to mention this isn't usually how it goes #He expects to hear Bill's cackling or groaning as he watches all that magic inside of him go to waste as he just sort of. Takes it.#He's not expecting to feel a pulsing heat emulate from his left followed by all of his bullies jabs going silent.#Dipper turns to look at his husband and- oh. wow. WOW he is pissed. Jesus #For a second he's almost worried it's targeted at HIM before going 'Well if he *is* fire's not gonna cut it'#But then why does he have that look on his face? And why are there so many flames? And why are the bullies cowaring?#oh. OH! oh😳 Oh man. No one's ever- I mean. Stan did a *few* times but. Well he's never seen someone get so mad on his behalf. it's #well it's nice actually. Bill doesn't notice it yet but Dipper's gaze is going so full and sweet and warm as he inches towards his targets #He can't look away; it's still kind of confusing him but he's TOTALLY cool with this outcome if it means Bill's defending him #Dipper's good about fighting his own fights when it really comes down to it but he's been raised with a stinking 'Code of Honor'#He knows not to whip out the magnum dong that is his magic and metaphorically fuck normal people in the ass with it #Bill of course doesn't have sich reserves and is rewarded WONDERFULLY. so many smooches. Dipper kisses the breath outta his stupid face

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