#Of course they also call Zai 'Mom' or 'Mama' sometimes

[soulsxng]

For most of his life, people tended to call Zahine by the nickname "Zae". This changed when Io and Luvi came around, and they started calling him "Zai", specifically because neither of them wanted to call him the same thing that Mattias called him. That was before they even started to notice some of the ways Mattias would treat Zai, too, so that's just a little extra "Fuck you" to Mattias that I think is really petty and hilarious.

[themarchblessing]

EPILOGUE

Dos  Años Más Tarde...

COREY

“Oh..Elle!” I called out. Hopping off the last step I made a quiet advance toward the kitchen. When I stepped inside I instantly went to the pantry. The door is cracked and I can see the pink glitter from Elle’s slippers surrounding the bottom of the door. I decided that I would play with her a bit longer just so she thinks she’s gotten over on me.

“Oh princess Ellena! Where is my beautiful princess?” I called again. Faint giggles from the kitchen almost made me burst into laughter. I’ve come up with all kinds of silly names for Elle and she loves them all. Her favorite is princess. She giggles up a storm when I call her that. And if I call out to her in a funny voice, she’ll definitely laugh.

I stumbled around the house for another ten minutes winding back up in front of the pantry. “I wonder where she is.” I mumbled. Dramatically pulling the door back I spotted Elle holding her jar of cookies, crushing them. “Well would you look at that. The princess got hungry huh?”

She turned her head up at me and did exactly as I thought she would. “Ow me.” she cheesed, pushing her hair out of her face.

“Oh yeah I found you alright. You gonna share some with me? You gonna share with papa?” I asked, leading her out of the closet. Closing the door I took Elle out to the back porch. We lay in the hammock watching people walk down to the beach.

“Daddy..” She said.

Looking at her I opened my mouth to accept the cookie she was giving me. She used my head for support as we took in the beautiful view from here. Seeing my daughter grow up before my eyes over these last two years has really turned me into a soft ass man. Elle gets whatever she wants from me because she’s the baby. Just like her mother and Zay I buy it all. If Elle asks, she gets. I can’t say no to her. Sabrina and sometimes Zay have to step in and be the enforcers so the balance of power is just right.

I’ve also gotten extremely close with Izaiah over the last year.  He’s been curious to know about his childhood and how he got here. Sabrina faced one of her biggest fears and had that talk with him. Zay had a lot of questions and Lori provided him with more than enough in response. He still gets a little upset every now and then when he realizes that I wasn’t around to watch him grow up for so many years. Like when Elle said her first word, took her first steps, stood up on her own, and things like that, Zay will distance himself from us.

I never take his anger to heart but I do empathize with my son. And I also feel angry with myself at times for the same reason. All I have been doing is reminding my boy how much I love him, how proud of him I am, and that I promise to be there for him until I’m no longer living. When Zay does get in one of his moods, Sabrina gets really emotional because she blames herself for it all. She puts all the blame on herself for Izaiah and I building our relationship when he was six instead of when he was a baby. I then have to remind Lori that the way our lives ran its course is not her fault.

We’ve both had numerous conversations about accepting our separate journeys for what the are. Neither of us can change the past but we are learning to live with our paths in life.

“Papa, is mama?” Elle asked, sharing the other half of her cookie with me.

“She’s out shopping but she’ll be back soon. You miss mama?” Lifting my hand I ran my hand over and through her curls. She and Zay both have hair like their mama. Sabrina has these pretty, deep set shaped curls that never lose their shape. In fact after she had Elle, her hair got even curlier, kinkier too. Izaiah has much looser curls that he shockingly still doesn’t want to cut off. And Elle, well her locks are kind of a mix of Zay and her mother. She’s the lightest of the family, complexion wise. Diane is definitely the reason behind my daughters skin tone.

“Yeah.” She nodded.

Elle and I chilled outside for a good while enjoying this weather. Izaiah came home and was in a super good mood so I took the kids to the beach. Elle loves playing in the sand. She always asks me to pick up seashells with her and of course I help her. Every time we leave the beach with new shells I clean them, dry them, and set them in this big glass vase in her bedroom. She’s got these shelves on her wall that we house her favorite things on. Her seashells being one of her top favorite things in the world. I’m sure she’ll ask to count them all out some day.

Because Elle is evolving as a child so rapidly we often let her pick out her outfits now. She likes having a sense of herself when she gets dressed. As her parents, Bri and I feel it’s important to give her the chance to choose what she wears. Two days out of the week she will only wear this one particular set of pajamas all day long. Ravyn came to visit for Elle’s birthday last year and gifted her a set of footie pajamas that have bunny ears and a fake tail. Elle instantly asked for Sabrina to change her clothes. So in the middle of unwrapping her gifts she got changed into her bunny pajamas.

Another big change aside from her trying to talk more is that she’s teething really bad and we’re in the potty training stage. Her gums have been so inflamed for the last couple of weeks because she’s got more teeth coming in. So being that she’s in so much oral pain I give her a lot of soft foods. Yogurt, peaches, bread, grapes, macaroni and cheese is her favorite now, ice cream and just anything that won’t hurt her gums more.

Bri hates that I let Elle eat the way she does but nothing else helps to soothe her mouth. When she starts crying Bri will try and use this safe to swallow ointment that Elle’s pediatrician gave us but lil mama can’t stand it. We hate seeing her fuss about her incoming teeth so we just let her eat all the soft foods she likes. As far as the potty training goes baby girl is getting the hang of it pretty well. I cry sometimes watching her reach certain goals. She’s our little girl and the sight of her growing up scares me.

By the time we got back in the house it was well after sunset. Izaiah ducked off to take his shower leaving me the time to bathe Elle. She more so ended up playing with her toys for the first half of the bath. Then she started fussing about how cold she was so I made her put her toys up so she could get clean.

Picking up her nightgown I fitted it over her head, fanning out the fabric around her little body. Elle went into another one of her baby rampages where she mentioned food and some other things I didn’t quite understand. Once her hair was brushed and she had her favorite princess shoes on, it was dinner time.

I still cook most of the time and I still don’t mind. Truthfully I enjoy cooking more today than I ever have. Being able to feed my family brings me the greatest sense of pride and happiness. Elle and Zay are in the kitchen with me every time we’re about to eat. Elle usually watches us while she plays with her makeshift kitchen toys.

Sometimes Sabrina is down here with us and other times she’s sleeping. Ever since we broke Elle off from breastfeeding, Lori has been napping a lot more. Seeing Elle come off the boob was a huge milestone for us as parents. Sabrina expected to breastfeed for at least a year but that went on to being one year and ten months. Sabrina feels like her old self again not having to share her body anymore. Except with me of course. Now that our kids no longer need their mama to supply them with nutrition, I get all of my wife back. Every square inch of Sabrina Delores Howard is mine and I’m thrilled. She makes constant jokes about how I used to get jealous when Elle wanted to feed for hours. Technically her body was Zay’s first, then it became mine, and then Elle arrived but she’s all mine again.

“Guys!” Mommy’s home. Elle sat upright and turned around looking for her mama. “Donde estan todos!” Bri sang cheerily.

“Mama..” she mumbled. Her arm was outstretched as she kept a lookout. I couldn’t help but smile at how badly Elle wants to see Lori.

“Sit still baby so you don’t fall. Zay, I got this. Go make sure she doesn’t try to jump off the counter.” I can handle dinner by myself right now but I need to make sure Elle won’t hurt herself waiting to see her mom. Zay stood directly in front of Elle to keep her entertained for the time being. Although she realized her brother was the distraction she enjoyed the attention.

Izaiah adores the hell out of his baby sister. She is the perfect child in his eyes. For a boy he doesn’t mind letting Elle play in his room all day long if she tries. He reads to her, watches movies with her if me and Bri are too tired or I’m working on a project or something. He’ll help her eat, brush her hair, and whatever else she wants to do. For a kid who’s on his way to going through puberty in a few short years, he’s not a dick to her. Which is a good sign on Lori’s and especially mine’s behalf. My dad didn’t allow me to be that stereotypical angry black boy. He made sure I used my manners, respected family, worked for everything I wanted and was always kind to loved ones.

The same way my dad was with me, I’m like that with my son. He’s always been a nice kid but the influences of today’s world and kids his own age could change that. Not with who Izaiah’s parents are. We aren’t raising a dickhead for a son.

Lori rounded the corner looking as beautiful as always. The lights caught her rings and then I noticed she did something to her hair. She had her hair blown out looking dark brown with blond-ish highlights fading out towards the end of her hair. Putting the bread in the oven I shut the door and went to take these bags off Bri’s hands.

“Thank you, this stuff is heavy.” She said right away.

“What you got in here anyway?” I asked. Bri kissed me softly and began getting comfortable.

“More pull ups, a few cleaning supplies, and some groceries. You’re cooking early?”

“Thank your daughter. She was getting ready to throw a fit after her bath so I went ahead and got started. She’s been waiting on you. You changed your hair. What for?” Putting only the groceries she brought away I washed my hands and went right back to cooking.

“Yeah..I wanted to do something a little different. I’ve never colored my hair before so I took a risk. You like it?” Looking up from the cutting board I nodded.

“Yeah I like it. It’s different but it suits you.”

“Thank you. Three hours is how long I sat on my butt for her to do this.” She huffed, going over to where Zay and Elle were. “Hi mama’s babies. I missed you guys so much.” They soaked up every second of Lori’s affection. Zay talked her briefly as he came back over to join me.

“When is it due?” Bri asked picking Elle up off the counter.

“Next month. My teacher is giving us three weeks to work on it but I’m already half way done.” Zay checked on the bread first and then he went into the refrigerator to take something out.

“You smell so good my love. You have fun with your daddy and bubba?” Bri smothered lil mama in kisses as she sat across from me.

“Yeah.” Elle nodded.

“How’s your mouth, baby? Is it still hurting?”

“Yeah.” She replied again sounding sleepy.

“Can mommy see?” Elle let Bri check inside her mouth to look for any new signs of teeth.

“Nothing yet?” I spoke up.

Bri told Elle to close her mouth since she was all done. “No sign of her back molars yet but I can tell where they’re going to come in. Her bottom gums are red again.” Bri took out some applesauce and began feeding it to Elle. “I hope this doesn’t last much longer. I hate seeing her in pain.” Bri complained.

“It’ll pass. And besides all her teeth are almost in. She’ll be okay as long as you keep that stuff out of her mouth.” I warned in reference to that cream.

“I know she hates it but that’s what it’s for Corey. She used to be okay with it.” Bri frowned briefly letting her face settle after about a minute. “Here baby..” spooning more applesauce into Elle’s mouth Bri picked up a nearby rag to place over her clothes. Elle can be a messy eater in this terrible two stage that she’s in.

We’ve had enough outfit changes from feedings alone to supply four families with for a whole winter season. That’s how badly Elle can ruin her clothes. And it only happens when she tries to consume too much at once or when she feeds herself. She’s getting much better with getting the spoon in her mouth with all the food on it though. I do give her that.

“How’s your mom doing? Is she ready to move down here?” Bri’s mom has to move close to us due to her health declining. Bri puts a brave face in front of the kids but when it’s just us, she breaks down quite often.

Sighing deeply, Bri finished feeding Elle in silence. I saw what me asking did to her mood so I put that conversation on the back burner until we get alone. I don’t want her to be upset about her mom in front of the kids so I changed the subject. Izaiah noticed and jumped in to help me out.

Sabrina didn’t say much when it was time to eat. She was silent setting up our table, fixing Elle, Izaiah’s and my plate. When we all sat down she was completely tuned in to assisting the baby with her food. Every so often she would respond to something that one of us said so she didn’t mentally shut everyone out. She was on her way to helping Zay with his school work until I stepped in. I let Bri have some time to herself hoping that by the time I get in the room she’ll be in a better mood.

“Is mom okay?” Putting away his art supplies for his project Izaiah sat back on his bed.

Sitting forward with my elbows on my knees I cupped my hands over my mouth.

“Dad?” Zay called quietly. He carefully got off the bed not wanting to wake up lil mama. It’s past her bedtime and if she wakes up it’s going to be damn near impossible to get her down again. Zay closed his door and stood in front of me. “What’s wrong with mama? Is she mad at you?” He asked.

“Nah. She’s not mad at anybody. Your grandma is moving down here to be closer to us. However, it’s the reason behind grandma’s move here that has your mom so upset.” I explained.

“Is grandma sick?”

“Yeah, she’s not doing too well. She’ll be here by the end of the month and it’s scaring your mom. So if you ever see her get really quiet or distant, or she looks like she’s about to cry, be her shoulder. Do whatever you have to to ensure that your mom knows you love her. I’d never wish anything bad on anyone we love but if something does happen to your grandmother, mommy is gonna need a lot of love. From me, you, and Elle. She needs us right now.”

The tightness in my chest and that massive urge to throw up hit me like a ton of bricks. I can’t believe I just said that out loud. I never ever wish any negativity on those I care about. But the reality of the situation is the that Diane isn’t as healthy as she used to be. Losing her husband did her in. That’s when she started to go downhill emotionally. Sabrina’s father dying really affected Diane to her core.

I guess talking about my mother-in-law hit more nerves than I thought. I didn’t start crying in front of my kids because I fought the urge with all my might. I talked to Izaiah for a while about how he can help comfort Bri if she starts to lose it. Elle is back in her bed sound asleep. Now it’s time to check on Sabrina. Walking down the hall I stepped in the room sensing a lot of weird energy.

“Bri?” I said. Turning the corner I walked to the bathroom to find Lori standing in the shower, motionless. She was facing the backyard letting the water pour out over her head. I gave her company whether she was prepared for it or not.

I stepped behind her tracing over her tattoos. She noticeably relaxed under my touch. Seeing her react to my sense of touch hit me deeply, making me understand just how much of an effect on my girl I have.

“I can’t lose her Corey.” She sniffled. “I can’t lose her too.”

I knew this would happen. I knew mentioning her mother earlier on would cause her to break down once she wasn’t in front of Elle or Izaiah. It’s not in my nature to sugar coat but the first thought that came to mind would hurt her feelings. Now is not the time for me to blunt but I can’t mask my honesty.

So rather than causing my wife more hurt I said this instead, “you’ll never lose her. She’s always gonna be with you Sabrina. Always. Just like your dad. Everyday since he’s been watching over you, helping to guide you and protect you.”

“My tio said she’s happy to be moving down here. I however thinks she’s in denial about the meaning behind her relocation. I just hope she can handle this transition okay. After all she’s leaving behind her home and the life she’s known for so long.” Bri threw her head back, squeezing the bridge of her nose with her eyes shut.

Using my hands to gather her hair I set it over her shoulder leaving me plenty of area to play with. “She’s gonna be okay. She’s got a hell of a daughter looking after her. And I know she loves you so much.”

“I just don’t know how I’m gonna deal with losing another parent. And I don’t need you to tell me that death is inevitable because I know that. But that doesn’t make loss any less painful.” Bri turned around to face me. I could see the pain in her eyes as she decreased any space between us. Her head fell to my shoulder, one arm she threw behind my back, and the other across my free shoulder.

“Why are you thinking about losing her already? I could see if your mom was laid up in a hospital but she’s not. She’s still in her prime and you have to believe that. Stop getting ahead of yourself and just live in the moment.” I advised hugging her back. As we stood here chest to chest I thought over possible ways to make Diane’s move easy for us all. After all these years of being in the states, mama Guerrero is coming back to live in her home country.

Somewhere deep down inside I know Lori is happy to have her mother close to her again. It was my idea to get Diane a house just twenty minutes from ours to begin with. The idea came from Lori storming in the house, screaming about her mom going to the ER. This was on the first of this month. She was beyond panicking. Sabrina was all “we have to go” and “we can’t stay here anymore”. Basically saying we need to move to California.

I was against it only because of Izaiah and Elle. Izaiah has moved around and switched schools enough. Even though Ellena is still very young I couldn’t bare the pain of turning her world upside down. A move would only confuse and upset her. I didn’t want to put our kids through a drastic change in lifestyle regardless of how young they are. Sabrina and I have worked very hard on our home and to maintain the lifestyle we’ve grown so accustomed to.

“No matter what happens Lori, I got you for life.” I vowed. Lifting the arm she had on my shoulder I kissed her hand and each of her fingers.

Bri fingered the back of my neck melting in my embrace. “And I thank you. You know you’re never leaving me right?” She stated. Her sass does nothing short of turn me on.

“Why would I ever want to? You ain’t going nowhere either. You’re stuck with me forever. Your soul wouldn’t be able to rest without mine anyways so be ready for the rest of our lives and afterlife to be just like this. I was the first and the last to ever put a ring on your finger and give you beautiful babies. Ain’t no nigga other than me raising my kids.” I joked.

Lori fell out laughing cause she knows I’m right and seeing her happy is all I ever want.

“Ay, eres un pesado..” Standing up right Lori ran her fingers through my hair. The act was relaxing enough to make me close my eyes. “Your mom told me that I’m the best partner she’s ever seen you with. And we both know there have been a lot of women.”

“A hell of a lot of you.” I nodded. She slapped my shoulder because of what I said.

“Anyways...she’s very proud that you quit hoeing around and settled down. So is your dad.”

“I wasn’t hoeing around. I wasn’t content keeping any old girl around. Settling is not my style. Maybe testing the waters and seeing what else is out there but never settle.”

“What about me?”

Opening one eye I saw how serious she was. Quickly I looked at her through both eyes and told her, “you my love are an exception. The difference between you and the rest of them is that I didn’t have to find you. You were always there and I couldn’t be happier for it.”

She smirked. “Oh yeah?”

“Mhm. We’re gonna last. I know that for sure. But you will always be my best friend Lori. First and foremost. That’s not gonna change for anybody or anything.” I have no doubts that Sabrina and I will be each other’s last. No doubts whatsoever.

The End.

[themarchblessing]

SPECIAL TO ME

SABRINA

“Mommy, what we are doing here?” Izaiah asked, swinging our joined hands together as we walked into one of my favorite stores. My birthday is in a couple of days so Ravyn teamed up with Brian to plan this overzealous birthday party for me. Turning 38 is not a big deal for me but I am only two years away from 40. I’ve been trying very hard not to think much into my age and so far so good. However, with this little shindig my best friend and goofy ass Brian are planning I think more and more about my life and achievements.

“Well baby I have to find a really pretty outfit for my birthday party that your titi is throwing for me. What do you think I should wear, hm?” Holding the back of Zay’s head I led him over to a wall lined up with dresses of all kinds.

“A dress. You always look pretty in those. Can I help you find one?” He walked a little ways from me looking at another rack of dresses in my line of vision.

“Of course you can. That’s I brought you here. I need an honest opinion and I know you won’t lie to me.” I smiled at how helpful Zay is as I sorted through the different dresses. I looked through this entire section not seeing anything at all. All of a sudden I found this blue dress that made my eyes pop. “This one is gorgeous.” I whispered to myself. Looking around for my baby Zay I saw him looking at shoes with concentration. Walking over to him with the dress draped over my arm carefully I studied the heels he was examining. “What ya got there baby?”

Zay looked up and turned around showing off these gorgeous gold, suede, floral print heels.

“Oh honey these are beautiful. What size? Let me see.” I turned the shoe over seeing it’s just my size. Sitting down next to Zay I laid the dress over his lap and switched my sandals for the heel. Once I secured the buttons I stood up and walked around to get a feel for them.

“How do they feel?” Zay quizzed from behind me. Walking back over to the mirror I checked them out picturing the type of dress I need to put with these.

“They feel really comfortable and they’re pretty. I just don’t know what dress I’d put them with. What you think of the dress? Yes or no?” Going to sit down I took the heel off and put my sneakers back on.  

“It’s pretty and I never seen you wear this color dress before. Try it on.” He suggested putting the display show back on the shelf for me.

Zay and I went over to the dressing rooms and stood in the small line. When it was my time to speak with the woman who was in charge of assigning changing rooms I asked myself if Zay would want to stay out here or go in with me. But he answered my question for me by following beside me holding onto my hand as went down to the fitting room. He locked the door and sat in the big chair holding onto my purse for me. I told him he could play games on my honee while I try on the dress and see how I look in it. I managed to zip the dress up halfway but then I needed help.

“Can you help me with this?” I asked him kindly. Zay stood up on the chair and finished off zipping up the dress for me. Rising to full height I looked at myself in the mirror with wide eyes at how big my tits look in this dress.

“Let me see mom.” Zay hopped down from the lounge walking over to turn me around by my hips. “Ooh it’s nice and soft too. Don’t you like it?” Zay walked circles around me liking a buyer looking at a potential car.

“Do I look okay?” I have pretty high self esteem but I don’t know why I feel nervous right now.

“Why is there so much space in the front. It should be closed more. Let’s find another one.” Zay said already helping me get out of it. I laughed internally at how well he noticed how much chest I’m showing. We left the fitting room once I got back into my regular clothes and went to find another dress option. We searched the entire store looking at dresses for every occasion and I didn’t see anything.

The search bummed me out. I’ve got two days to find something to wear or else I’ve gotta wear something I already have. But I want something new. Feeling a little down and out I took Zay to an indoor gym where kids of his age can play all sorts of sports and games free of charge. All of the equipment is here, so all we have to bring is ourselves. I put on my best attitude and participated in everything Zay asked me to do with him. We played basketball, a game of air hockey, we even rock climbed on the small wall together.

Seeing Zay so happy to just be a kid and not worry about anything is the perfect remedy to cheer me up. Sitting down on the bleachers I unzipped my sweatshirt and laid it across my lap.

“It’s hot as hell in here.” I groaned. Fanning myself I watched Zay run over to me and sit down beside me.

“You need some water mom.” He said reaching into my purse and pulling out a bottle of water I totally forgot about.

“Thank you baby.” Accepting the bottle from him I took long sips of the cold drink feeling much better. I passed the bottle to him so he could have some as well. “Zay can I ask you a question?” Looking over at him I used my nails to run through his hair feeling that I need to wash it.

“Sure mom.” He smiled half way.

“How do you feel about Corey? I mean do you feel comfortable going to his house and when he comes to ours?” I think it’s time that I open up the can of worms to Izaiah on Corey and I’s relationship.

“I like him. He’s a cool guy and he makes you happy. He makes me happy too. And he’s really fun to be around.” Zay shared making me less nervous about this talk.

“Okay good, good. So I want to talk to you about something very important. You’re a really smart boy so I won’t talk to you like you’re a baby. Corey has been my best friend since I was a little girl ok? We’ve known one another pretty much our entire lives. And when you are that close to someone for so many years, sometimes you develop certain feelings for them. You understand what I’m saying so far?” Turning to face him I fixed his t-shirt and tucked the tag inside.

“Yes.” He said with confidence.

“The reason I’m talking to you about this Izaiah is because I love Corey. Like I really love him. I’m not sure for how long but lately I’ve come to realize that is how I feel about him. He’s not related to you in any way so you don't have to use the term ‘uncle’ when you address him if you don’t want to. There will be times when the three of us are together and if you ever see anything between him and I, I don’t want you to be confused or feel any type of negativity. I’m not sure what we’re doing but I really really care about him and I just want to make sure you’re okay with him being in our lives this much. Because if you aren’t then you can tell me and I will make some changes. Zay, I never want you to feel uncomfortable around anyone I introduce you to.” I explained, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders.

“I understand. So is he your boyfriend?” He quizzed with his little eyebrow arched really high.

Chuckling at how silly he is I halfway nodded. “I think so but I’m not sure. Just know that he makes me very happy. But with that said no matter what happens a between us, Corey will be in our lives. If I can’t be there for you for whatever reason he will make sure that you’re safe, you’re fed, you’re healthy and happy. He will take excellent care of you when I’m not around. Corey loves and cares about you too so don’t think that he doesn’t. And even when I am around he’s going to have your back just like I do.” Taking a quick breath I reached down to tighten the ankle of my pants leg.

“He loves you too right?” Zay said.

With certainty I nodded. “Yeah he does. The reason I’m telling you this baby is because I don’t want you to question anything you see happen between him and I. I always tell you that I’ll be honest with you and that’s what I’m doing. I teach you all the time to be honest and forthcoming about your feelings and opinions right? Why? Because honesty gets you a long way in this life.”

“As long as he makes you happy mama. If not I’ll tell Manny to beat him up.” Zay chuckled. Ever since he learned who my uncle is he’s been calling him Manny. That’s not even close to my uncles name but Tino doesn't mind so when Izaiah addresses him as Manny.

Shaking my head at my silly kid I opened up to him about a few more things on my mind. Corey was right when he said we need to figure out what’s going on with us and talk to Izaiah. I made a vow to never leave Izaiah out of the loop on my relationships and what happens within our family dynamic. I promised myself and my mother that I wouldn’t have thousands of men around Izaiah and our home. A part of me is glad that Corey and I started fucking around. With him around I don’t have to be on edge about Julian. I don’t have to worry about him blowing up my cell or popping up somewhere that I am. I don’t have to worry about him period because he’s hardly around as it is.

After that night we had dinner I made it very clear that I wouldn’t pursue a romantic relationship with Julian. He wasn’t very happy about it but he said he understood why I felt that way. After Zay and I talked we played some more games and went on home. When we got there Corey was waiting inside with a full meal prepared and another present for me. This man spoils the shit out of me and I swear I don’t ask. He just gives so freely and my heart swells each time. I’m lucky to have a man like him. I also gave Corey the spare key to my house recently. I figured since he’s here so much and we’ve gotten pretty hot and heavy, he should come and go as he pleases. After all it’s not like he’s a new man in my life. He’s just new at being my man in a romantic way. I trust him with my life and so many of my loved one’s lives and I’m content with him having full access to my home.

The three of us ate together and watched whatever Zay picked out for us. I had to leave the boys early tonight due me to feeling super tired all of a sudden. I shut my door and drew up a hot bath for me just to soak in for a while. I didn’t burn any candles but I did put instrumental music on for me to relax to. Even threw in some bath bombs and epsom salt to help me really wind down. A soft knock on the bathroom door made me open one eye and look over at it.

“Come in..” I said, closing my eyes again, raising my arm up to rest on the rim of the bathtub. I leant over on my arm feeling my heart beat slower in my chest as I relaxed again.

“You alright? You didn’t say anything when you left..” Corey shut the door behind him and I assume he came over to sit next to me. I felt his presence nearby but since I don’t want to see anything I can only feel how close he is.

“Yeah I’m just really tired and I don’t know why. Zay still up?” I mumbled, feeling his hands rub my shoulders and neck.

“Nah he’s asleep. He told me that you talked to him earlier, about us.” Corey brought up making me smile faintly.

“Mhm,” I hummed the longer he worked at my shoulders. “I figured it was time and you were right about us needing to come to terms with what we’ve become.” Letting my head fall forward I bent over as well so he could continue his work with my entire back. “Ugh, que se siente muy tan bien..” moaning and groaning at how good this feels I curled my legs up to my chest to support my head.

“Sit up for a second, I need to show you something.” Corey lifted me back up making me whine that he stopped with the massage.

“Corey..” I groaned sitting up to see him resting on the rim of the tub with a red bag in his hand. Giving him that look I reached over the rub and dried my hands off. “What is this?” I asked leaning out of the bathtub so I don’t drop whatever he’s about to have me open.

He stayed mute as usual so I opened it up anyways. Brand new, still in its original packaging was a pair of rose gold, Cruel collection, Giuseppe Zanotti heels. My jaw might as well have disconnected from my face as I stared at both shoes in astonishment.

“I take the deer in headlights look as a good thing I hope,” He chortled, running his hands over his hair in the way that it grows.

“I don’t even know what to say other than thank you like..I..” I had a short speech in mind but I can’t get the words to come out. For years I’ve drooled over these shoes and any woman that owned a pair. And now I have a pair of my own.

“Happy early birthday baby, look in the bag again, there’s something else for you.” He advises holding the box of shoes for me.

I went inside the bag again seeing this little box with nothing on it. Raising an eyebrow not sure what’s inside I held on it not knowing what to say.

“Sabrina just look at it please, I know you hate when I do this but please just open it. If you won’t do it for me, do it for your dad.” He bargained giving me helping hand.

Discreetly I wiped away a tear just hearing him say think of my dad. Hesitantly I opened the box feeling myself get really emotional. The water works came before I had a chance to even give myself the pep talk not to cry. Before my father was killed he gave me this antique locket with a picture of him inside. I couldn’t quite understand why there was solely an image of him in the locker but I loved and cherished it. When my relationship with Ace started to crumble he destroyed a lot of my sentimentals including that locket. I cried for days when I saw what he did to my necklace. He broke my heart all over again. It was like losing my dad twice in one lifetime. My mom has a ton of his things in safe hiding but that necklace was the last physical piece of him that he personally gave to me.

“It took me months to find the exact same locket that he gave you and when I did find it, I almost didn’t get it. But I fought for that necklace because Ace should’ve never touched this. Anyway, I got a hold of your uncle for a good picture to go inside and that’s the one he gave me. I hope you like it baby.” He explained.

I took the necklace out of the box and put it on without a one word, still crying like a baby. Next, I moved the shoes and boxes and bags out of the way so I could get Corey out of his clothes and into this tub with me. He joined me in my bath and the second he sat down I faced him, mounting his lap. The desperation in me wants to show him how appreciative I am for everything that he’s done for me. But the state I’m in emotionally and mentally is hindering any plans for intimacy. For right now at least. Laying on his shoulder I caressed the back of his neck not able to stop the tears.

“Talk to me..what’s going on?” Corey kissed my forehead and ran his hands up and down my back making me cry harder. I don’t think I can talk right now. This necklace is the best gift I have ever been given since the first time I received this locket.

Lifting my head to give him eye contact I remained mute, kissing him tenderly. Corey is downright without question the best man, friend, and boyfriend I’ve ever had. He treats me the way every woman deserves to be treated. My parents would be very happy to know what kind of relationship I’m in. After the Ace drama my mother forbid me to get serious with men and I listened to her. I fucked around up until I decided I wanted to have a baby. And now at this age I finally get to experience what it's like to be in a healthy, well rounded relationship. I think it’s safe to say this is more than just your average ‘love’. With Corey, this all feels like a real life fairytale.