#OPPOSITE REASON. she doesn't want to hear something nice that makes her feel good bc feeling good is something she doesn't deserve.

[eerna]

I never though about wren using sex as self punishing but now that i though about her words...MY GIRL!!!!

Yeaaah T.T In TSH she only thinks of it in terms of "oh it's something I'd have to pressure him into, it's something I can only get if I am pathetic enough, I can't let myself believe for a moment that what I feel is mutual, I'm just a disgusting desperate creature and can't allow myself to forget it". And in TPT she is so convinced that if she isn't treated like shit, she will do something horrible. She is Not Okay

[larcenywrites]

I love those headcanons about trying anal sex with young!Tony, and they got me wondering if you'd be comfortable with writing hcs about pegging young!Tony?! 😳 Like, maybe it's after those hcs, and his girlfriend brings it up and asks what he thinks. And he's like nervous but also quite curious to try it... and the whole warm up is similar to what he did for her and she gets him ready by stimulating his perineum a lot, then actually getting him used to the feeling with her fingers and with buttplugs until he can finally take a strap on. And he turns into the perfect little sub for her and he gets all the praise he wants and deserves plus aftercare. Totally okay if you don't feel comfortable/don't want to write this!! Thank you for your time and attention anyways!

GIRRRL (gender neutral) YOU’RE DRIVING ME CRAZY 🥵🫠 Ngl I’ve thought about this even before those hcs 🤤 I’m glad you liked the anal sex hcs bc I sure did 😫 but I’m not sure if these are quite as good since I’ve never written this :(

Warnings: 18+ obviously | pegging | afab reader implied but only explicitly referenced a time or two if you wanna read it as normal m/m fucking 🤷‍♀️ though I do use the word dildo or strap-on a few times as well | some Dom reader/sub Tony |

Pegging | Headcanons

💠Honestly, I'm sure he's already thought about it, having seen all of your new toys and all, but he probably won't bring it up himself. There probably haven't been many cases where he's let you top, anyway (which is a whole different story), and he might be apprehensive about bringing it up. Sure, you experiment and all, but this is kinda a whole new level for a number of reasons. He's still all good with the usual stuff! Don't ruin a good thing, right? What if you're pretty turned off by it or something :(

💠 It's really the complete opposite! But he doesn't know that. Honestly, asking him about anal earlier probably gave you a bout of courage! He's probably the one that's usually bringing up new ideas, and since yours went so well, why not just ask about this? Even if he's not into it, he obviously won't be upset or anything.

💠So! …catch him off guard, just like before. Maybe he's half asleep, or still waking up from a nap, and innocently slide on top of him. He probably won't look down at you until your too-innocent "Hey, Tony?" Then his attention is most piqued. "If I asked really nicely, would you say yes to something?"

"Depends on what it is."

"Would you ever let me peg you?"

💠He looks away because he's embarrassed that his answer is gonna be an immediate yes, and he's trying to think of a cooler answer 🤧 "I'd let you try." He almost says it like he's challenging you, but it's all you need.

💠 You're not quite sure where to start with him, but you do go ahead and get a little red butt plug for him 😘 and maybe a vibrating one, too 😏

💠But you can really only go by how he treated you tbh, so maybe start slower. Get down on your knees, take his cock in your mouth and jerk off what you can't take down your throat, and use your other hand to play with his balls. Just like normal. Inch a little closer to that little area behind his balls and gently rub circles. He'll definitely jump in surprise… which will just send his cock further down your throat, but now you have another free hand to keep massaging his sac 🤤

💠 "Fuck." is probably the only strangled word you'll hear, if any, between throaty grunts. His hands will be tightly gripped in your hair to hold you close while his thrusts are more like oversensitive twitches of his hips. He'll have so much going on at one time, he might even get to experience that tremble in his legs that he's usually causing you 🤭 The more he's twitching in your throat, the more pressure you should apply 😋 You'll have him cumming in seconds, and a lot. You can keep going if you want, especially when he can't decide whether to twitch away from your tongue or away from your fingers, and just ends up making his situation worse (or better 😏). 

💠Honestly you can keep the experimenting around here for a few days if you want, maybe start massaging your fingers from his perineum to his ass and back and forth. If you want to get him really riled up, take a vibrator to it, but be prepared: he'll cum within seconds, and hard. The mess he makes will have you eager to see how much more of a mess he could make, and the longer you build him up, the more eager he is for the real thing 🤤

💠 He'll let you know when he wants one of his new toys, getting it out before you can even get his dick in your mouth this time. Honestly, do what you've been doing, except this time, instead of just fingers snaking around while you suck him off, massage the silky silicone plug around his tight hole, and maybe choke on his cock when those hips instinctively still twitch away. You might want to be back against the bed this time to give him something to hold on to while you ease it in, and he'll definitely be pushing you against the mattress while he can't decide whether to squeeze his thighs together or spread his legs 😮‍💨

💠Let him get used to it and watch him squirm (and feel him squirm), push at his already twitching abs to gain more room to work with and repeat your original process of massaging all around his balls while your tongue massages his dick 😌 He'll fuck you with it still inside, and he'll already be falling apart on top of you because when he thrusts a certain way and just hard enough, there's a certain poking pressure that has his dick pulsing but not enough to cum. It's more like chasing after a powerful orgasm he knows is there and fucks the hell out of you to try and find it, and the semi-edging is both frustrating and hot af too 😫

💠Hardly a day or three passes, though, and he wants the vibrating one ASAP

💠 He'll be a moaning mess melting into your neck in seconds, and thrusting feebly while it practically milks him, but only when he's pressed into you so hard, but the constant friction keeps him hard and hips jolting 🥴

💠 There's going to be a lot of cum 🥵 cum flooding out of you, too much to keep in your mouth, a mess on the floor— if he's a whining mess that can't stop cumming now…

💠He may size up once or twice, but the strap-on isn't that big to begin with, and Tony's probably been eyeing it 👀

💠Honestly it's going to be kinda funny at first trying to put it on and trying to make him get on his hands and knees 🤧🤧 but sex is supposed to be a little funny sometimes 😌 He's never been in that position and is going to be very stiff and awkward 👉👈 but he also doesn't necessarily want to look at you bc he's awkward and shy about it so…

💠So that means don't smack his ass no matter how tempting it is 😫

💠Also this mf works overtime on his appearance all the time so he's probably been pretty clean shaven 💅👀

💠His face is already buried in the sheets, probably from being shy, but he's low-key a little nervous too and probably already biting at the pillow just from you trying to push in 😮‍💨 tbh it'll help relax him if you suck him off first or even just have normal sex first! Either way, he'll be leaking precum 🫠 Don't be afraid to swipe at his tip and smear some of that warm arousal around 😉 he'll probably grip the pillow and hide away even more, but it's just bc it made him hornier 😌

💠Definitely go slow. Sure, he's had a little practice by now, but Tony's never been penetrated like this 😳 His thighs are already shaking just from the tip sliding in, but a muffled "fuck, keep going" will beg you to keep going anyway when you stop to get him a minute. Slide in until you can't anymore and watch him squirm against you for a minute 🥴 he'll definitely jolt when you run your hands over his hips or up his back, not very used to the roles being switched and all, but he'll quickly relax into your touch and arc his back a little.

💠Maybe jerk him off while you wait 😏 watch his thighs squeeze together while you do and listen to deep groans. He'll probably end up starting to fuck himself on the dildo while instinctively trying to grind against you, groaning a little louder 🥴 he's definitely letting you know you should start moving 😘

💠But keep starting slow, don't pull out too much too fast. Keep thrusting shallow and slow. Eventually you'll hear a whine that you've never heard before 😳 and it'll definitely make you want to step up your game 😈 start pulling out a little further each time and bottom out each time

💠 It's probably going to feel pretty unnatural, and it'll be a learning curve at first because you'll learn real quick that you need some stamina to thrust like that 😮‍💨 honestly it makes Tony just a little more impressive!

💠 He'll probably be hugging the pillow, but the quicker you can go, the more you'll get to hear those little whimpers

💠 He'll cum without warning! You'll only know by the sudden moan and the stiff thrusting of his hips that has him pushing and grinding against you and making him cum more 🥴 For the first time during the whole experience, he'll be tapping out with a hand on your thigh or whatever part of you he can reach. Maybe be evil and tease him just a little bit, press into him a little harder until he's shuddering before actually pulling out

💠The sheets will definitely need to be replaced no matter how much he just wants to curl up. Now he knows how you feel...

💠But once you do, he'll be curled under the blanket and probably still hiding in the pillow 🥺 He'll nod when you ask him if he's okay, he's just embarrassed and a little subby 🤭 join him on his pillow and hug him into you. Your little kisses might make him a little more shy, but he's enjoying it 😉

💠Once you both get more familiar, and maybe you get a little more stamina for it, just pound into him 🥵 slap your hips again his ass and use him as leverage when you slide your hands up his arched back. His very loud moans will turn into punched-out whines the closer he gets, and the more he'll hug his pillow 😌

💠Tug his head back by his hair and make him yelp! He'll probably cum instantly the first time you do, but keep fucking into him this time. Treat him how he treats you 😘 which is really the only thing you have to go off of tbh

💠 "You can take it, baby." Encourage him and he'll melt. With a drawn-out whimperish groan and clenching thighs. Jerk him off if you're feeling a bit evil 😈 Milk him for everything he has 😈

💠 It'll become another Dom/sub dynamic, but be a little more on the gentle side (usually). Or at least, gentle when he's starting to sob and tire out 😌

💠Eventually he'll be laid on his stomach one way or another. When he's really close or nearly sobbing, slow down and lay on his back. Hook your arms under his and rub at his and kiss his neck, or play with his hair.

💠 "Does that feel good, pretty boy?" Whisper in his ear and practically feel him shiver under you. He'll nod into the pillow and grind his cock against the mattress 🫠 and the harder you thrust, the more you'll help him out with that 😉

💠Tell him how good he takes it. Suck slow hickeys into his neck, and kiss it when he moans. He might even cry the first time, but unfortunately, you might not get to see it 😔

💠When he does cum in this position, shush him while pressing into him even harder. A quiet "there you go, pretty boy" or "that's a good boy" might melt his brain every time. And make him cum just a bit harder before he's finished 😏

💠Play with his hair and kiss whatever you can reach, and he'll be limp beneath you for as long as you want, even while you still have the strap-on still buried inside him (and low key he may be wishing he was being filled with cum 🥲)

💠Ruffle his hair and give him one more kiss before getting off him and sliding out (or be evil and just start pounding into him again— he won't really complain 😌). There will be cleanup every time unless you wise up and decide to put a towel down, which would definitely benefit Tony because he does not want to get up and will protest until he's had a certain number of kisses and pleases >:(

💠Eventually he'll get confident enough to lay on his back, and let you finally get to see him and his cock again. Keep your hands on his twitching abs and watch him moan towards the ceiling, no longer muffled into the sheets! Dig your nails into his skin to draw his attention towards you again to better see his blushing cheeks and pleading doe eyes 🥺

💠Lean over him and let his cock rub against your stomach, and trail warm precum along your skin. If you want you can jerk him off, but it may be much more fun to ask him to do it, and he'll obey in an instant. Maybe sit still and pressed inside him until he's done a good job, even if he's begging you to move again 😌

💠Time it right and thrust with his own movements, and he'll probably cum more than you've ever seen 😮‍💨 it'll definitely end up all over his chest and stomach, and if you've found that right little angle to fuck him at by now, you can even simply press the dildo's tip into it and get him to cum again right after he just finished 🥴

💠Press into him and lick a little off his chest before you slip out, and then lick off the rest when you can move around more. Climb on top of him once you've cleaned him up and just nuzzle into him with kisses and run fingers through his hair. He'll eat up the affection, and might even get hard again at any praise 😏

💠If you wanna get a little rough, scratch down his back like you normally do and mock him a little when his back arches towards the bed. "Who knew Tony Stark was such a tight little twink~" Keep your tone playful and sultry, and you'll have him whimpering a pout before moaning out when you start to speed up, but still make sure to call him your good boy 😘

💠Sometimes you may have to wipe away a tear or two (or kiss them away), and always pull him into your chest and let him hide in your neck. He still might be a bit shy about it sometimes, so you may be spooning him from behind instead.

💠Give him several minutes and he may return the favor 😏 the harder you can fuck him, the harder he'll fuck you soooo 😉

💠Sometimes he'll let you tie him up, and might even beg you to jerk him off while he is. You can choose whether or not to obey, or just tortuously rub right under the head of his dick because he doesn't control the narrative anymore 😌 You might even pull an "I'm sorry, Mommy" out of him because he's so desperate…

💠Tbh wear thigh highs while you fuck him and you'll have no trouble keeping his eyes on you, but he'll be a little upset if you make him get on his knees instead 😔 And sorry to upset you, but even you probably won't be able to force him into any thigh highs 😭 maybe one day?

💠He's a size queen 💅 You'll have to buy a new strap-on pretty soon, and he'll pick out a much bigger size-up than you had in mind 👀 maybe this one could have a cum tube- for research purposes, of course 😌

[todorroki]

I miss nature (Love Sea ep 4&5 thoughts)

I was planning on doing a post for each episode, but I was busy. Or maybe I subconsciously don't want to leave the island so I put it off and by the time I sat down to do write a post, a whole week passed. Who knows??????? LMAO

Title. i miss the island setting. which is crazy because i personally am NOT a nature person lol i prefer the city. but this is a drama and it's called LOVE SEA so like.... WHERE'S THE SEA. the only sea we're getting in the bangkok portion of this story is a sea of tears.

shoutout to the candid shots of the island. i thought that was a nice extra touch. also this scene!!! PLEASE someone give fp a royal setting or something. my god

onto the city, WHOSE HOUSE IS THIS FR. FORT IS A TALL BOY HOW ARE YOU GONNA OPEN ANYTHING WITHOUT A LADDER IF YOU'RE NOT AS TALL AS HIM!!!!!!!!!!!

i think the best part of ep 4 is seeing fort in that white tee. the gears in my head r turning at max speed. why does he fill that out so well. jesus.

how much is mook getting paid? she puts up with so much LMAO like the check must be sooo big and her loyalty to rak must be soo solid.

now for the most hurtful part of this ep, rak telling mut he doesn't believe in love and that there will never be anything more than sex between them. peat's line delivery was Good and effective. it stung as the audience just hearing it. and the way mut's face fell and rak's eyes start shifting afterwards?? he himself knew what he said hurt. but mut still wasn't deterred and at this point, i'm sure he has a good grasp on rak's general mindset.

my favorite part of ep 4, the kitchen scene at the end. them teasing each other, mut feeding rak. it was soo soft. and rak's pouty cat stare (sooo cuuute) and peat's legs! we cannot go an ep without em.

pausing between the 2 eps to gush about fortpeat for a second. why do they make domestic scenes look so good. or am i just biased (probably). the puppycat energy is SO strong with these two. i kinda want to see them play characters that are Completely opposite of themselves. i know they'd still eat their roles. it'd just be crazy to think about.

ANYWAYS, ep 5 ↓

the restaurant scene was so real. are we not allowed to call food by their names anymore. must we order a piggly wiggly mega crunch. i truly do get it. and the shopping scene afterwards???

mut telling him he wants to take care of his life. HOW CAN ANYONE WATCHING THIS NOT BE IN LOVE WITH MUT AT THIS POINT!!!!!!!!!

switching to the girls, aya did SO well in this part. the conflict, the hurt. i see it all!!! but how does mook even know if vi doesn't like women! girl believe in it!!

does prin remind anyone of stop from LITA??? like the goofy ass ego and behavior is so similar to me. wym she came all this way just to hurl verbal jabs at her cousin?? HELP. also i KNOW this is like a stand off between rak and prin, but they're both slaying so hard in the visual department. HAIR, MAKEUP, FIT! and for some reason the bgm is going so hard and for why LMAOOOO what is this music!!

and rak puts on a front like prin's words don't matter much to him, but they obviously hurt a LOT from rak's reaction to it afterwards. him telling mut to get out and leave him alone to deal with his emotions by himself!! and then seeing the food mut left for him. someone's caring for him!!! he's not alone!! and the best AND worst part is seeing rak cry into the food. my god. as someone who's been there more than once, that scene hit soo hard.

NOW THAT PART IN THE FITTING ROOM.... MUTRAK ARE SO HORNY YALL that's nawt even a door it's a flimsy curtain!!!!! i'm not mad about them wanting to bang in the fitting room btw.. im mad they got interrupted :( we could've had a whole keep your voice down kinda nc scene with so much kissing and biting smh

fort has said before they had to rework their first kiss scene bc they hadn't kissed in a while. seeing that they filmed the city portion before the island, i feel like this was the first kiss he was talking about? idk someone can correct me if im wrong. i'm simply guessing.

anyways. enough of this rambling. the ending credits of ep 5 is soo cute and my favorite so far. i can't wait for khom next week!! more characters!!!

if you stumbled across this post and read it, thank you for your time!!

[idyllic-affections]

DON'T.... BECAUSE KAVEH'S YOUNGER!SIBLING BEING ANGRY IN THEIR STEAD.. im so sorry for swarming ur inbox but ydbihsjakdas

i could just IMAGINE their arguments about it

"she's our MOTHER, you don't disrespect her like that!"

"yeah, but she ABANDONED us!"

"she didn't abandon us-"

"YES SHE DID! she ran away and left us here, in sumeru, because she was hurting. i know."

"she deserves to be happy-"

"but what about us? what about me? what about you? she sounds SO much happier with our step siblings, and she doesn't even visit us! you can't keep defending her!

you can love her all you want, i don't care. you say she's our mother, but she's been absent ever since dad died."

"you have to understand-"

"I DO UNDERSTAND! and you took care of her when she was sad. you took care of me because she was sad. you were a child too, and you were more of a mother to me than her!"

"don't say that-"

"just because she's my mom doesn't mean i have to like her!"

kinda projected here but good god this makes me wanna explode. i like to think kaveh's younder!sibling has been going through that "rebellious teen phase", but it's not a phase, it's just how they are after growing up with a pretty absent mom and dead dad. they see how much their brother suffer, they 100% wanna help him, but they're going through it too yk??

imagine how frustrating it is for them whenever kaveh talks about their mom and he always says nice things about her but they could see the sheer bitterness, guilt, and melancholy in his eyes. they can't help but hate her for not being there for them (i like to think they're maybe an infant or very very young when it happened) n making their big bro, their parental figure, go through this horrible mess.

n they just kinda grew up with that hate w/o telling kaveh bc they didn't wanna add into his plate of problems. but the hate slowly manifested with other stuff until they went from 'not wanting to cause trouble for kaveh' to 'i cause trouble because i can't control myself and i need to release my anger on something else'

so ya i think kaveh's younger!sibling would be temperamental n people see them kinda like a bully, opposite of kaveh :( even if kaveh raised them kindly, i think reader's hatred to their mom saved them from copying kaveh's self destructiveness...

which caused kinda of a strain in their relationship when reader became a teen

(on the flip side for some reason i think reader would get along with alhaitham more (which would hurt kaveh tbh) bc alhaitham's mentality clashes so much against kaveh's n it's probably what reader needs more... they probably preferred alhaitham's "you're allowed to get angry at things you felt was unfair, even if she's your mother" than kaveh's "she still loves us... she just- she just needed to move on to be happy. she deserves it.")

sorry i kinda developed a whole reader here and maybe this is incoherent blabbering im gonna hide now >q< feel free to ignore !!

NOOOOO NO DON'T HIDE I AM HEARING YOU OUT SOO MUCH RN WE ARE ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH

ohhh the strain that would come as a consequence of that rage and pain... sigh. parentified kaveh is so real, honestly, because with how bad faranak's mental health became, she definitely would not have been able to raise her youngest child. kaveh would be the one to raise them. kaveh would be the one they ran to when they scraped their knee. kaveh would be the one to kiss away their tears. kaveh would be the one to help them with homework and little things like that.

it would always be kaveh.

(and i think faranak would be painfully aware of the way they no longer come to her for comfort and consolation, but i don't think she would be able to feel bad about it until years later, because she's already so... fucked up. she would just be glad that someone was nurturing her child, even if that had to be kaveh.)

i think [name]'s anger would be a good and important testament to how well kaveh really raised them, though.

(but of course, it would also prove dangerous and self-destructive which i mention a bit further down in the post!!)

one who values themselves is one who feels angry when mistreated.

and [name] is fucking livid, for both themselves and kaveh. [name] is aware of faranak's neglect. because kaveh taught them to love themselves more than he could ever even hope to love himself. kaveh raised them well, even if that responsibility never should have been his in the first place.

so it honestly hurts them both when they fight like that.

"don't you dare disrespect her, [name]. you have no idea what she did for us." "what she did for us?! what the hell-- kaveh, she left us for some random fucking guy neither of us have ever met! how can you not see what's wrong with that?!" "do not talk about her like that. she did her best. doesn't she deserve to be happy, [name]? doesn't she?!" "oh," they'd scoff, "so 'her best' is abandoning her kids, parentifying her oldest son, and running from her past like a fucking coward?" they would roll their eyes and turn away at that point. "no, kaveh. she doesn't. neither of us are, so why does she deserve to be happy?" they'd then leave.

and consider this dialogue somewhere in there:

"she isn't my mother. she didn't raise me. you can like and defend that woman all you want, but she never was and never will be my mother."

they care so much about what kaveh went through for them. they are so painfully aware of the sacrifices he made to raise them. you know how parentified oldest siblings are usually the only ones aware of the abuse and neglect, whereas the younger siblings they raised think their parent is an angel who did no wrong? it's the opposite here.

and [name] getting along better with alhaitham in their teens... you are so right. they would.

i can imagine them fighting like this in alhaitham's home, and when [name] finally gets pissed off enough that they just leave to cool down, kaveh also retreats and stays in his room for a bit. but a few minutes later, when he comes back out, alhaitham is gone.

he left after [name], because a pissed off teen out wandering alone in sumeru and possibly sumeru's wilderness is unsafe.

(i feel like [name]'s anger could translate into ambition. hmm. pyro vision [name], maybe?)

kaveh knows they get along better with alhaitham nowadays, and i think it hurts him so much. but... he also does want what is best for them, and maybe. just maybe he is not best for them anymore.

(little does he know, they cry a lot to his roommate about just... wanting their brother. but not being able to open up to him like they used to because he'll only keep making excuses for their mother. and he'll only keep hurting himself in the process. and they don't want to see him destroy himself.)

alhaitham would validate their feelings more than kaveh would. he believes they should be pissed. he's not good with tears and feelings in general, but he is rather decent when it matters. and it very much matters when it comes to kaveh's mentally and emotionally wounded younger sibling.

i think alhaitham is better for them at this point in their life. and, you know, i feel like... in a way, he could help them learn to be less destructive. because also i feel like [name] is self-destructive in their own way, too. they get pissed and push away the people they love (aka kaveh). and they're hurting themselves in the process, but it's in a less obvious way than how kaveh is hurting himself (all the overworking, constantly doing everything for everyone, etc etc).

alhaitham is so blunt and straightforward and it would be refreshing compared to the mental gymnastics kaveh does to justify what faranak has done. and honestly, the factual truth is that [name] is allowed to be angry. alhaitham knows that and he's very clear about it.

and hear me out--

[name] enrolling in the akademiya, but instead of the expected darshan (kshahrewar or something similar)... they enroll in haravatat. just a thought.

they're probably just kind of mean in general compared to their brother, and i think that comes as a surprise to a lot of people, but i mean... who can blame them?

they need to go to family therapy HELSPDKDHSKGA

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

Hmm yeah

Huh interesting Dom :O

I might he seems pretty chill though

Ahh wait yeah that though

Hmm :/

Idk I see both sides

But he's not impaired enough to fail that

Does Morgan sound kinda sick

Yeah shrink

Oop yeah!!

Because he's been delusional his whole life probably xD but you know eh

Idk seems legit

"Hallelujah" 💀

Aww lol

Mood I feel that xD

Hmm they won't want to do it

Yep 😬

Yeah but if it could hurt you anyway xdd

Awww :'))

Hey we can say that though lol

Wonder where Lim's at

Eh if they're okay with it lol

"#Blessed" slfkghd go off girl

Hey slay!

Also :OO Lea your hair ayy :D!!

Looks cute 🥰

AYY he's with it :D

Nah she'll say no

Did Morgan do it lol

OPE O.O

I WAS KINDA JOKING

This is just like the the rookie episode I just watched xD but the opposite lol

Let's be real Lea you know that is her lol

Always xD girl you got her like 6 months ago

Well hey at least wine xD

But yeeeah oof Morgan xd

Hi Lim 🥰!

Nice to see you :D

Hmm idk I believe him

I hear about that (the malformation) often in chronically ill circles

Oop o.o

Ah 😬😬 right and she died from overdose :((

And a reason it could've been brought it the surface is Asher :((

I mean it's not like he's giving her the meds anyway

Ope :(

Ayy leaving them :'D!

Aww honey :(

Oof an hour D:

I wonder if they've been talking much anyway :((

Aww yeah fair honey :'((( it's okay to protect yourself

Be careful honey take care of yourself <33

I hope we see Jared or someone helping Jerome

Lol bro's just chilling

Hmm-

OOPE O.O

😭😭😭😭🥺🥺💔💔

I mean it was probably in the news

Huh uh oh

"Apparently I'm the only one" LOL O.O

Aww hi honey :(((

Aww D': Jared's so nice though <333

OOPE he's gonna say he's quitting isn't he o.o

Yep DD: 😭😭😭😭🥺💔💔❤️

Aww honeyy :'((

I get it and it's so real but I really hope he stays :'((

Especially because even if he quits I want him to do something not just sit in grief yk

Hmm yeah

Ah yeah the memories :'(((

I mean fair but I'd like goodbyes I think

OOP

They can make it better :O

Oh gosh that's good!!

Aww yeah getting his own for later

Hmm just gonna have to hope I guess 😬😬

"I don't want Jesus's blood on my hands" SLGKGJDKS O.O XD

LOL double gloved xD

Leaaaa are you bribing her xD

Hmm yeah others

Yeso principle xD she wants to get back at her

YOOO that's a lot :O o.o

Ahh right that 😬

He wants to go out "living"

But is he willing to take that time away from her :'((

Awww :'D

True years back

That's real but honey it's not a lot in the grand scheme of things :(

Hmm is he calling her? If she's not here I don't think she's okay

Ahh no something else. The doctor or something?

"Planning to off me on the table" XD

I wonder if she doesn't have anyone :(

Aww yeah :'((

Ahh yeah he might understand DD':

Like he does if they feel like he did

LOL interesting prayer xD but hey go off pray for whatever!

Ahh yeah might be the meds lol

Hmm okay chill a bit Jordan xD

Glad to know her anger hasn't just disappeared though

Besides that she's always kinda stubborn, I just think that's feeding in

"I didn't mean right now" xD

Uh ohhh

UH OH

Lol real not recognized

But yeah there's gotta be something

Hopefully he still wants to donate afterwards xd

If they can fix it

A what

A kidney tumor?

Bc then he can't donate it o.o

Ahh the other one

OPE o.o

But can you do that ethically 😬

Yeeeah 😬😬 :'/

LOL the guys don't care do they xD

Eh I think they'll get into it

They're like hey it's not personal butttt

"You're supporting Lea?" xDD

Ahh ordered not to talk to each other lol

XD the meeting

[zak-shit]

day 1

I already deeply miss how it was in the beginning, when she was so happy to only have me. Only wanted me, did not want anything with anyone else. Knew from the bottom of her heart that she couldn't fathom doing something else with someone else.

I wonder if she knows deep down, i don't like this. that deep down i'm only doing it for her own happiness. that has to be quite clear, because what part of this would make me thrilled? maybe the element of it making her happier, yes. I want her to feel validated and sexy. She just "wants the energy from a hook up" What I also hear in that, is that she wants that more than the energy of us being that way together.

I don't want to be sad, but right now, at this current moment. Today. Music doesn't make me happy, the songs that used to make me feel so whole and loved, are shifted by grief of not having the same dedication we used to have for each other. (in the sexual sense, the romantic way is still there) but I'm now in a relationship for nearly half a year, and the only way I'm getting off is my fucking myself. I'm a broken record with wanting it. I'm scared this could lead me to not even want her the same sexually. Because of resentment of my sexual needs not being as important to her, as hers are to me.

I'm not doing this for this reason, but I think its a true testament to my trust and love for her to allow this. I think it's incredibly selfless.

I put in my list, that what I do require is more kisses and cuddles, and that was yet to happen yesterday. Slight touches, yes. The only kiss from last night, was a peck. Given from me, and it ended up making me feel like trash bc it was "oo a little milky.. and wet, like pretty wet... maybe a little barbecue sauce too" I think why that also bothers me, is because it was one of the only things, not discussed from my list. My asking for her onlyfans was. But not the needing physical affirmation. Its something so little, but if its so little why cant she just throw me a kiss when I get home, before she rolls over for bed. at practically anytime. I don't want to toss them out, because of comments like listed above. That feels like shit.

I need my needs to be met too. Don't get me wrong. I love what we have, I love the security and safety in being loved and having someone for us both to have in all moments. To giggle, for emotional support. I'm putting trust into this still working out. However I'm allowed to have moments during this adjustment period of feeling however I'm feeling. I do plan on shutting it out at times. But I also have to sit with my feelings, dissect them. And go through the pain that they may come with. I don't just want everything to bottle up.

This morning was also not the smoothest wake up, I was of course hopeful we get to wake up to some affection, a nice "goodmorning", like we both like. We woke up a good hour before I needed to leave for work. I woke up a few moments before hand, but before I even knew she was fully awake, she was tearing about the bed looking for her vape. I get that panic and annoyance. I just handle stress differently. I'm soft with it and can be quiet. She's quite the opposite at times. Before I even began to stop stressing myself, because it was found. Two blankets were tossed at me in a playful manor with a smile on her face. Cool she's in a good mood now, but I was not ready to switch that soon. It was no big deal, but it still takes me a moment to get into a good mood. Especially since I was also let down by not getting a nice good-morning kiss which I would very much like. Nope she's already headed outside. So I took time to listen to some music, brush my teeth and face. Brush my hair. Take a deep breath. But she knew something was still wrong when I came outside and asked if everything was okay. "aggressive morning, not how I wanted to wake up" She clarified she wasn't meaning to address it at me, obviously because I didn't do a single thing. But I was still in the room. sleeping in that bed just 5 minutes, maybe less before it was being torn apart. It's just like it's all up to her, and she doesn't think of the love language affection that I need.

I've needed to for a long time, and I've just decided to remove social networks from my phone. If I want to get online, I'll use my laptop. Porn will have to switch to actual sites, I could get into that. Hopefully. Or I can use twitter on my laptop for porn. I'll look for my iPad when I get home. I think taking a step back from that nonsense from my life for a bit will do me good. I love making instagram posts. Like alot, but I cant have a balance of doom scrolling, so it should go for now. I just need to ground myself much more, and I cant get where I need to be when I'm plugged into the endless internet at all times.

Plus, I'd love to go through my camera roll, like trulllly go through it, and start taking more pictures, videos. Making videos again.

[yourmidnightlover]

never go back

Summary: spencer notices how your boyfriend takes advantage of you and finally does something about it.

TW: titty sucking, oral (female receiving), cheating, dom!spencer, scratching, slapping (only one), cursing, choking, spencer dirty talk lol, penetrative sex, creampie. *let me know if i missed anything*

WC: 3,724

A/N - i'm using noah as the 'other man' schtick in probably all of my future one shots bc i can't find it within myself to create a new character each and every time. so your douche of a bf will always be noah miller. if you ever get a nice bf i'll be sure to change his name but for now this is what we're working with. got it? got it.

masterlist

-------------------------------

there are many things that people should go back to. schooling, maybe an old job, an old vacation spot.

your boyfriend was not one of those things.

mostly because your boyfriend sucked.

it was now a fact that spencer reid himself had come to believe quite a while ago and now, well now he had reason.

he had always felt as though you were too good for noah, similar for practically anyone in existence (himself included). he was always a complete ass to you no matter the circumstance.

there was one time the entire team had been back really late from a case that took a toll on all of you. it was emotionally and physically draining. the flight back had been delayed because of weather issues in the state you had been in, meaning you couldn't leave until days after it was solved.

any time you had gone to answer the phone, spencer would be able to see your stance and body language through the glass window. you had been apologizing for something you couldn't even control. you would narrow your brows the way you only did when you were being yelled at. you bit your lip the way you did when you were being made to feel guilty.

he was guilt tripping you for something you couldn't even control.

when you had gotten back it wasn't any better. noah had been giving you the cold shoulder. he was defensive when you asked what was wrong.

and that was only 3 weeks into the relationship.

after being together for 2 months, you had gotten flowers delivered on your desk. you assumed they were from your boyfriend, reasonably so, and went to go thank him. spencer saw the shock in your eyes when you saw your boyfriend huddled in the corner with some new intern. spencer saw the look in your eye change from sadness to anger in the blink of his own.

you took a deep breath, and walked away from the situation, completely missing the way he tucked the intern's hair behind her ear as he leaned in to whisper something to make her giggle. when you got back to your desk you threw the flowers in the garbage can, not even bothering to read the note.

it was pretty indirect, but looking into it he realized it was an issue that should've been addressed. every time the team would go out together, everyone was clearly invited. you would always decline because 'noah wanted to take me out tonight' or 'noah said he needs me, so i'll have to rain check'.

it wasn't because you were a bad person, the opposite actually. it was because noah was taking advantage of your kindness.

because any time you needed him, 'noah's out with the boys' or 'noah had to work late' or, here's a kicker, 'noah had a hard time at work'. as if you don't have a hard time looking at dead bodies while he just has to write up reports.

even when you got injured during a case, shot in the shoulder, noah seemed as though he couldn't have cared less. he wouldn't even go to your apartment to visit you while you were in recovery because 'noah didn't have time to visit'.

spencer could even recall when you went out with the girls one night, spencer being the designated driver, that you had told them how 'noah didn't want you to dress too provocatively so you had to wear something more modest'.

now, spencer doesn't care all to much about what you wear because, frankly, it's none of his business. but now that he heard how noah cared oh-so-much, he decided to wrack his brain for the 'provocative' outfits you've worn. there was not a single one that anyone should make a comment about. you looked stunning no matter what you wore, so you'd grab any man's attention no matter the clothing on your body.

but spencer? he made sure to never be that much of an asshole to you. he made sure to make up for him being an asshole.

he would grab you some morning coffee like you always had before you had a boyfriend. he would make sure to tell you that you looked lovely when you were able to go out with the team. he would visit you when you injured yourself and were lonely, he even stayed back for a few days with you to help you get through it.

hell, he was the one to get you the flowers. you had been having a rough week and spencer thought it might cheer you up. he had gifted you a bouquet of 12, blue chiffon flowers because those were your favorite.

but this was his breaking point. you had come to his apartment, once again in the middle of the night, talking about noah fucking miller cheating on you.

he had done it once before when he was 'out with the boys' you decided to stop by when he said he'd be back, wanting to just be the amazing girlfriend that you are. so when you walk in and hear your boyfriend moaning along with another woman that isn't you, you immediately run back out. you run back out and drive all the way to spencer's.  

and here you are again. spencer wasn't mad at you, it was noah he was mad at. he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

spencer had always liked you, no, he's always loved you. everything about you. how could he not? you're perfect.

but loving you how he does and seeing you being used as a toy to fuck for a certain noah miller not only made his heart ache but also made his blood boil.

spencer wasn't an idiot. he had heard the way the old morgan had referred to women. the thing is, noah is way more of a fuckboy than the old morgan ever was. and that scared spencer to pieces. he knew that you would only be missing out on team outings just to get fucked by a douchebag. he knew that the only reason said douchebag wouldn't visit you was because you couldn't fuck. he knew that the reason said douchebag was cornering that intern was to fuck her, too.

so when you arrived at spencer's place, this time you weren't crying. you were furious. you were angry and upset, as was spencer.

"he did it again, spence," you breathed out as you paced across his living room floor. "i was supposed to meet him in a few hours but i was going to surprise him and i caught him with another tramp! i didn't even confront him. i just- i just left!"

"cheated? noah?" he asked as if he didn't believe it at first, not wanting to seem like as much of a dick as noah.

"yes! cheated. god! i am so ANGRY!" you ran your hand through your hair, a grunt leaving your mouth. "and... and frustrated! and... UGH!" you sighed aggressively.

"and what?" spencer asked as he stood up, slowly making his way to you. "what else?" he said, his hand now brushing that stubborn strand of hair behind your ear.

"i-i'm..." you trailed off, getting lost in his beautiful eyes.

if you were honest with yourself, you'd admit how much you loved spencer. but you thought he'd never love you like that. not since you helped him through jj getting married. he really thought she was it for him, at least that's what you'd come to think he believed. over the years you had grown so much closer and grown such an attraction for each other that the other person knew about. it was ironic, truly.

"say it, y/n," spencer leaned over you, his lips ghosting over yours. "i need to hear you say it."

"god, just kiss me," you said, your hands flying to the back of his hair to push his mouth to yours.

there was no hesitation from spencer to give you everything he had. his hand on the side of your face remained there as his other hand drifted to your waist to pull you closer to his body. your tongues met fervently with covetous, passion, and longing yet with just gentle firmness that felt protecting and as if it was how everything was supposed to be.

"please, spencer," you quietly whispered once you unlatched from one another.

"please what, princess," he asked, his hand running through your hair.

"i just... i need you," she pleaded with him, her hands still tugging gently on his hair. "please," you put your foreheads together, breathing in each others air as you silently begged him to help you in any way that he could.

"i'd do anything for you," he whispered so delicately as if the entire team were standing right beside you. "you know i'd do anything for you."

"then do something," you demanded.

spencer took action by kissing you just as intensely as before, this time his hands went to your ass. he grabbed your thighs to signal for you to jump, once you did you wrapped your legs around his torso as he carried you into his bedroom. he set you down just in front of the bed before you began to undo his shirt, him returning the favor by undoing yours.

"god, i've wanted you for so long," he growled, nipping gently at your earlobe as he laid you back on the bed. "lift your hips," he ordered, you obeyed his every command. you always would. "good girl," he praised as he ran his hands down your now bare waist.

"please," you begged, your hips bucking up to get any source of friction. "spencer..." you trailed off.

"i know, princess. i know," he said before climbing on top of you, connecting your lips with his once again, this time much more eager than before if that were possible.

as you arched your back, he took the opportunity to unclasp the hook on your bra. you shrugged it off your shoulders to allow him to throw the bra somewhere else in his room. he finally took a breath, removing his lips from yours to admire the view in front of him.

"god, you're so beautiful," he growled before placing gentle but eager kisses along the tops of your breasts, massaging the one his mouth wasn't on.

he pressed his knee between your legs, allowing you to buck your hips up to get that release you wanted so bad. you whined as he took your nipple in his mouth, his tongue flicking past it rapidly as he occasionally nibbled on it gently.

"spen-spencer," you ran your hands through his hair, tugging gently on the roots.

"mmm," he sat his head up, trailed kisses up your throat. "god, i love you so much."

"i-i love you," you moaned, pulling his head up to connect your lips together. "i love you so so much."

"i'm so glad to hear that," he huffed a sigh of relief. "because otherwise it'd be awkward when i did this," he began trailing kisses down your body, leading down towards your center. "i'll show you what it's like to be with a man that actually loves and respects you, yea? show you what it feels like to actually be pleased by a man? what it's like to be with a real man?" he teased.

his fingers trailed around your entrance, gathering your arousal that'd been building for what felt like ages. he pressed gentle kisses around your pussy before finally connecting his lips with your clit, a low groan emitting from your body because of the contact.

"yes, please," you shot your head back, relishing in the feeling of the direct skin contact.

"hey," spencer slapped your thigh, your head shot back up to see him between your legs, a truly beautiful sight that you'd never get tired of. "eyes on me," he demanded before going back down on you, not breaking eye contact as he brought out sounds from you that you weren't even sure you could make. "talk to me, princess. let me know how it feels."

"fe-feels so good," you sighed, taking your breasts in your hands and massaging them. "i-i can-can't even think," you stuttered out, too caught up in the pleasure to form a coherent sentence.

you had felt so good as he sucked on your clit, succeeding in bringing you closer to the edge than noah ever has, but when he inserted two fingers into your entrance...

"oh my fuck!" your hands shot down to grab onto his locks, pushing him further into your body, a low groan leaving him.

his fingers didn't stop their work. he curled them at just the right spot, sending you flying over the edge. spencer used his free hand to grab onto your thigh to keep them from closing in completely on his head, still working you through your high. he placed a kiss on your clit once more before he brought his head up to you, connecting your lips passionately.

"could noah ever make you come like that? huh? could he make you feel so good you could barely even think?" he grabbed your chin in his hands, holding it in place to look at him as you shook your head the best you could. "no?"

"mm-mm," you tried to shake your head 'no' once more.

"did you think of him while i was going down on you? were you thinking about how he fucked that little tramp?" he asked harshly, you shook your head 'no' again. "oh, what were you thinking, princess?" he finally released your face so you could speak.

"ab-about how well you know my body. about how, how good you looked between my legs. about how much i love you," you replied quickly, knowing exactly what to say.

"right answer," he connected your lips once more. "what do you want, love?" he asked, peppering soft kisses along your jaw where his hands once held your throat firmly.

"you. i-i want you in-inside me," you swallowed, your hand finding his and pulling it up to your lips to press a kiss to it, then another, then another, then another. "please, doctor?" you used your best puppy dog eyes you knew he couldn't resist.

"god, call me that again," he rasped lowly.

"what... doctor?" you took his hand and started sucking on his fingers, letting them slip in and out slowly and then moving onto the next.

"fuck, yes," he growled as he pressed another kiss to your lips before lining himself up at your center. "are you sure, princess?" he traced your jaw with the fingers you were previously sucking on.

"yes, sir," you nodded. "i'm sure."

you felt him slowly push inside of you slowly to allow you to adjust to his size. you had your suspicions of how big he was, but feeling him inside of you made it all much more real.

"fuck, you're so tight," he moaned into your ear quietly as he slowly pulled back out, going in just as slow.

"sp-spence-"

"wrong," he slapped your face gently, a whimper leaving your lips before he grasped your face to make you look him in the eyes.

"doc-doctor," you corrected yourself.

"good girl," he said, feeling your pussy clench from the praise. "oh you like that?" he felt it again. "maybe you just like hearing me talk, yea?" his pace began picking up slowly. "you like hearing how this pussy makes me feel? how tight... and warm... and wet it is?"

"u--uh huh," you nodded your head the best you could as he began thrusting much more rapid, hitting that special spot inside of you with each movement.

"it seems like you haven't felt this good in a long time huh? haven't had your pussy pounded like this in a while?" he asked as he was catching his breath.

"ne-never, doctor," you confirmed, hands reaching around his back and dragging your nails down, surely leaving scratch marks all down them.

"fuck," he growled. "noah never made you feel this good princess? never made you forget how to speak in sentences? never knew how to get you going like this?"

"n-no, no! never! god, never!" you cried as you pulled his body even closer to you. "i-i'm close, please!"

"you wanna come all over my dick, yea? you want to show me how much your pussy loves it when a real man fucks it?"

that was it to let that spring burst inside of you, parts flying everywhere. you cried his name as he worked you through your orgasm, holding onto his shoulders and hair to keep you grounded.

"cum inside me, please," you begged. "fi-fill me up."

"fuck, whatever you want, princess," he kept pounding into you at a rapid pace. "god, i'm gonna come inside you, and send you back to that scumbag of a boyfriend so he can see that you're mine now. so he can see what happens when his girlfriend is mistreated and fucked by someone who knows what they're doing, yea?"

"yea, yea!" you whined, nails digging back into his skin as he released his load into you, thrusting it gently back inside after.

"god, i love you so much," he moaned into your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek by your ear.

"i love you," you replied, stroking his hair to help him come down, him still inside of you. he began thrusting inside of you once again.

"don't want any of it to spill out before you get to him," he felt you clench around him one more time. "you're very responsive, princess. i like that about you."

"it-it's just you, spence. it's always been you," you pulled him in for another kiss.

this one was full of passion but not the kind of eagerness. it was full of desire and longing, pent up emotions flowing out into one another fluidly.

"now let me go see my soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend," you huffed as he pulled out of you, wincing from the overstimulation. "i'll see you later?"

"i'll see you later," he pressed a kiss to your forehead before helping you gather your clothes.

driving back to his apartment, you felt rather giddy with yourself. should you have felt bad? absolutely not. he's a manipulative asshole who's used you for sex on numerous occasions, so he deserved the bittersweet irony of what was coming to him.

*get it, coming to him? lol i'm sorry i had to :)*

you knocked on the door softly, greeted by a rather chipper noah who grabbed your face as soon as he saw you, connecting your lips. his kiss was nothing like spencer's. his lips weren't as soft and tentative. they weren't plump and round, they were harsh and rough and unpleasant.

he quickly led you to the bedroom, not to your surprise. he sat down on the bed, you straddled his hips, acting as if it were spencer instead - which was pretty hard to do after knowing what he was like in the sack.

you felt his boner through his pants quickly after you got on top of him. then when he flipped you over and pulled your pants and underwear down, he was met with a surprise.

"someone's excited to see me," he chuckled before licking a thick stripe from your slit to clit, very aggressive to where it almost hurt to have the pressure. "god you taste so good, doll."

he continued at this for a while, inserting his tongue to your hole very once in a while and licking up yours and spencer's arousal with it. you faked your moans and whimpers as his ministrations became more eager, not really getting you anywhere.

after he was finished with your turn - no, he didn't even make you cum - he laid back on the bed as if he were waiting for you to get on top of him again.

"actually," you stood up from the bed, pulling up your clothes with you. "i'm done with this. we're over."

you watched his face as he took in the information just released to him. it changed from surprised and shocked, to confused, to disgusted, to angry and frustrated.

"what the fuck?" he sat up from the bed, a disgruntled look on his face. "you wait until after you cum to tell me this?" he walked over to you, arms flailing in the air.

"yea. i did. and by the way, i didn't cum," you informed him. "that's something you've never really been good at making me do. although i'm not sure how you've been able to convince me to do anything with the way you treat me."

"what do you mean? i'm a good gu-"

"shut up for one second, please," you rolled your eyes, running your hand through your hair. "i know you've cheated on me numerable times. i stayed because i thought that maybe there was a reason, but i've come to realize that i was just... settling with you," you shrugged.

"you've treated me like crap since this 'relationship' started and i'm tired of it. i know someone who not only treats me with respect and kindness, but can also actually make me cum. shocker," you chuckled.

"who is this asshole? what the hell-"

"i wasn't finished, sweetie," you spat out viciously. "he's not an asshole. you're the asshole. you're the one that's getting dumped. so this is goodbye," you turned around to walk out of his room before leaving him with one more thought. "how did his cum taste with mine?" you tilted your head innocently, smiling at his shocked face as he realized what you meant before walking out.

and you were never more glad that you didn't have to go back to him anymore.

taglist:

@muffin-cup​ @greenprisca​ @averyhotchner​ 

[funnywormz]

not really a ship bc its basically canon but do you like suselle from deltarune. I think it is cute.

I LOVE SUSELLE!!!! ive actually drawn them quite a few times on here, i think one of my posts abt them is in my top posts currently actually!

THIS GOT RLLY LONG IM SO SORRY ANON im putting it under a read more lol. tldr for those who can't be bothered reading: i also think it's cute lol

maybe this is a predictable answer but i just think they're really neat......... i love noelle and susie as their own individual characters and they go so well together. susie has kind and caring side to her underneath her mean/rude exterior and noelle seems to be one of the ppl who instinctively figured that out straight away. she's still a bit scared of susie but i can tell she knows susie is a good person.

in turn i think susie is a bit intimidated by noelle in her own way, although for different reasons. it sounds funny at first bc noelle is like. the opposite of being intimidating but hear me out. noelle genuinely likes susie, and the things that normally make ppl dislike susie or not trust her (e.g. her impulsiveness, her scary appearance and outward manner, etc) are things that noelle finds endearing instead. noelle is clearly interested in susie and wants to get to know her better and i don't think that's something susie is used to at all. you can tell she likes noelle and appreciates her company but she's obviously nervous when they hang out too bc she's not used to someone being into her like that which is kind of adorable tbh

just in general susie is becoming more vulnerable and letting her kinder side show as the chapters pass. it's really sweet to see her find friends who care abt her

i also think noelle seems to be very passive and lets herself get pushed around a lot, into doing things she doesn't want to do. the most obvious example of this is in the snowgrave route, but even outside of it, the expectations her mother puts on her are clearly stressing her out. she very much gives the feeling of someone who bottles up her feelings for the sake of others and does things for other ppl, rather than herself. she is very selfless and kind but that has its downsides too bc she needs to figure out what she really wants and what she thinks is right. in the pacifist route we see her start to break out of this by standing up to queen, and also she seems to be braver around susie too.

i think it would be cool if susie ended up showing noelle how to stand up for herself and do things she wants to do instead of letting other ppl push her around. susie and noelle are kind of opposites in the aspect that susie always follows her own path, she flat out refuses to obey/pay attention to the player's orders/suggestions, and always does what she wants to do. conversely, noelle lets characters like berdly, her mother and queen kind of boss her around, and in snowgrave she's pretty much just peer pressured by the player into killing ppl/acting as a tool/weapon for the player, even though you can tell she knows it's wrong deep down.

it would be nice to see them help each other balance out, to see susie become softer and more accommodating of others, and in turn to see noelle become assertive and advocate for herself more often. i think they have a lot to learn from each other. and there are clearly somewhat mutual romantic feelings there as well, like you said it's practically canon lol.

it's still early days with them and they know hardly anything abt each other but there's definitely the potential there for them to have such a great relationship and be so good for each other. they just have a rlly nice dynamic and i hope they do end up together

[jishyucks]

Eight Count ‣ lmh

‣ genre: fluff, enemies-to-lovers, hogwarts!au, I think it's a slow burn

‣ wc: 10.8k

‣ summary: "There's honestly no way Minho would like me. And me of all people would know that." ; in which fate decides to be an ass and make you and Minho dance partners

‣ an: I'm sosososo sorry @ whoever requested this bc of how long it took. I didn't mean for it to be so long but it kept going and uni is to blame bc all of the work :(( but anyways enjoy !!

i.

You feel the beat of your heart quicken as you maneuver through the maze of corridors that you had begun to approach. Time was ticking. The first classes of the day had already started about half an hour ago, and here you were, racing down the stone hallways, tardy and a bit dazed.

It had only been a mere five minutes since you had woken up in the dormitories in pure panic, the realization that everyone had left and you were still cuddled up against one of the pillows in your bed driving you to act quick. You could accuse your housemates of not even bothering to check if you were alive, but you soon decided to place the blame on your body's restlessness and inability to go to sleep when you wished. You wouldn't call it insomnia, but your sleeping patterns weren't normal either.

Approaching the dance room with a quiet sigh of relief, you tug at the wooden door and peek in, hoping that you weren't barging in at such a humiliating time.

Scattered around the rather room, students were paired in twos. Each couple's bodies had been facing each other, hands sitting awkwardly in the other's while their faces were turned towards the dance instructors, Professor Shin and Professor Na. By the look on Professor Shin's face, it was evident that she was about to continue speaking, but the door swinging open had caught her attention.

"Ahh Y/N, nice of you to finally join us," she clasped her hands in genuine excitement, passion towards dance obviously bubbling up inside of her.

You grinned crudely and bowed your head, "W-what should I do, Professor?" Spotting your best friend Felix within the group of students, he tried his best to send you a look of 'we were supposed to be partners'. You shot him an apologetic expression back before turning your attention back to both professors.

After a brief pause in thought, Professor Na's face lit up, "Ah yes! Lee Minho lacks a partner as of now!" Following the eyes of your teacher, they brought your line of sight to the far corner of the room where Minho had been sitting. At the mention of his name, he raised his head to see that everyone had been gaping back at him in what seemed like total silence.

A sharp intake of air through your nose had replicated a gasp, eyes growing wide, "P-pardon?" Out of all the boys in the class, an amount you couldn't keep track of with your fingers, you had to end up with Lee Minho? The human embodiment of a wet sock?

Minho was… unbearable, to say the least. It wasn't that he had done something for you to hate him, which made you seem like a bad person, but in all honesty, your guys' personalities didn't seem to match. He was too arrogant, in your opinion. He has this energy that he carries that really didn't sit well with you, and by the looks of it, the feeling was mutual. It was as if you both ended up on the opposite bc end of everything.

It really doesn't help that you're a Hufflepuff, and he's a Slytherin. For some unknown reason, they always loved teasing the people from your house, though Hufflepuffs chose not to return their actions.

"Mr. Lee is the only student remaining with no partner."

You gulped and slowly approached him, only because your professors had motioned you over to him. If you could protest, you would, but what was holding you back was the attention given by the entire class and the teacher's who seemed too excited for their own good.

Minho pressed his tongue against his inner cheek, eyes lighting up in wrongly-fueled happiness. He hopped from the upper bench and down across from you. You blinked back at him dryly, maintaining calm yet trying to speak to him with your eyes.

Crossing his arms, he leaned forward and smirked, "Why the bitter face? You should relish in your luck for ending up with me."

"Stop talking, dead cells are coming out of your mouth… Luck my as–"

"Now! That everyone has a partner, I'd like you all to stick with these individuals until these classes are finished," Professor Shin had announced. It was quickly followed by groans and whining from many of your classmates. Though you hated your partner and wished you had arrived earlier and paired with Felix, you stood quiet, isolating the anger within your chest.

"And before we begin once again," Professor Na added, "I'd like to point out that this is still a class. We will be holding a class particularly focused on evaluation and your grade will be heavily based on participation over the length of this course." Once again, a chorus of grumbles had flooded the room.

You hear Minho curse under his breath, only because he was now two steps too far into your bubble, "This is utter bullshit."

This time it was your turn to taunt, "Why? Are you scared or something? Can't dance? Can't keep up with everyone?"

Narrowing his eyes, he scoffs, "Oh, shut your mouth, bumblebee. Just wait and see."

ii.

"Get up!" Felix tugged at your arm, voice sounding louder than it actually was. When you hadn't shifted at all in your bed, he sighed and tugged once more, "Y/N!"

"Wha– Felix you're not allowed in here!" You kicked at your blanket and sat up.

"We need to get to dance class," he clicked his tongue, "Let's go~"

"I really don't want to go," you whined, "I'd rather fail a class than hold hands with Lee Minho for an hour and a half." Felix dragged you out of your bed to see that you were already dressed in your robe, only your yellow and black tie had been carelessly tied.

"Wait, did you not change out your clothes from yesterday?" Felix jumped back in exaggeration, alarmed and slightly grossed out. His nose scrunched while he judged you through his eyes.

You glared at him and scoff, "Of course I did, you idiot. And don't act like you haven't done that." You take this as your victory as it was true, Felix had gone two days without changing, and it was a bit nasty considering all the places he's gone to in a day.

This time it was his turn to glare at you, "You shut your mouth! Now let's leave before Snape sees us roaming the halls once class starts."

Minho winced slightly, trying not to let your feet ruin the simple waltz routine that the class had finally run through, "If you step on my foot one more time, I'm shoving yours up your arse." His teeth were gritted in frustration, looking down at you with narrowed eyes.

"Then stop stepping on my feet," you muttered back, hoping that no one else, especially the professors, were hearing you two bicker.

It had only been about two lessons into the class and that amount of times that Minho had purposefully disrupted the routine… as if it were good, to begin with.

The two of you found it difficult to fall in sync with each other. It was always either going too fast or too slow, someone making an 'accidental' mistake, and Minho's favourite, holding your hand and hip with a tight and stubborn grip. It wasn't evident whether he was doing it on purpose, either, but you had pointed it out plenty of times, and he never seemed to loosen them.

"I'm not stepping on them," he pushed you back a little too early in the dance, causing you to stumble on your own feet. This caught the attention of those around you, though they carried on almost immediately after.

"Tell that to my bruised toe," you argued back.

As if you were being blessed, the music had finally come to an end. You promptly retracting your arms and to your body and taking a step back from Minho. He had done the same, going an extra mile to turn away from you and to the professors.

"Perfect! Perfect!" Professor Na's face lit up from excitement, "Now that we have learned this simple routine, next class we are moving on to one of the actual dances done in the Yule Ball as tradition. I hope you all are excited as I am!" Very few students had taken time to let out a "whoop" while everyone else, including you, chose to retrieve their books at the seats.

Felix approached you with a pitiful smile. He already knew what you were going to say, patting your back gently, "So how was it?"

Exhausted, you just shook your head and shrugged. Being partners with Minho honestly had been completely draining for you, mentally and physically, which was unusual as you could often live through such situations without feeling the need to scream.

"What else do you think?"

Felix nodded apologetically and puffed out his cheeks, "Is it as bad as the potions exam we had in fourth year?" He shuddered subtly and led you out of the classroom. Just thinking about that exam made Felix want to claw at his brain. If there was a way to take a particular memory and make it disappear from the chamber of long term memories, he would. Maybe then he'd be able to get a few more hours of sleep.

"Yes," you replied simply. The test was equally as horrible for you, but a test didn't force you to 'create chemistry' with a certain Slytherin.

"You're lying… can't be that bad," Felix laughed lightly.

"Easy for you to say," you sighed.

From behind, you feel someone bump your shoulder and pass by you, "Oops," he snickered, walking backwards to watch your reaction. The only thing he was missing was popcorn.

You turned to see Minho and rolled your eyes, "Ha-Ha, you're so funny, Lee Minho." Such a childish joke and you guys were almost leaving Hogwarts.

Though your reply had been dripping in sarcasm, Minho's wit had dodged it entirely, "Well thank you very much," he bowed, more like a manly curtsy, before he ran off, leaving Felix slightly puzzled at what just happened.

"Don't you see how much of a dingbat he is? He constantly chooses to pick on me just to get a reaction out of me," you utter, "He should be glad I was raised to be patient, if not I'd be hexing him like the world was near its end."

"I see a pattern," Felix hummed. The expression on his face looked as if he had come to an incredible epiphany.

Making a face, you click your tongue, "What do you even mean by that?" What pattern? Green, white, green, white? Minho and his constant need to be the crow to your crops?

Felix patted your head, "You're slow sometimes, you know that right?" He puffed his cheeks up and raised his brows as he looked down at you as if you were a kid.

"Can you just spit it out?" you narrowed your eyes at him before you physically pried his hand off your head.

"Minho does all of that just to get a reaction out of you," Felix presses his lips into a thin line, slowly forming a smile.

Finally arriving at the next classroom, you groaned, "You basically repeated what I said earlier…"

"If you didn't know this already, boys love getting attention from someone they are attracted to," Felix plopped into his seat. You followed right after, "I should know… I'm a boy."

You almost laugh at the tone of his voice. The confidence and the look he gave you to emphasize his statement; was all too funny, "So what you're saying is… Lee Minho has a – and god forbid– crush on me?" Felix nods like a young child, with eyes wide and a tight-lipped smile.

"Bollocks," You burst out laughing, "Felix, I love you, don't get me wrong, but you've never said anything more rubbish in the years I've known you."

"The chances are never zero," Felix put his index finger as if he were saying it in 'a matter of fact'.

You lean forward and sit your chin at your folded forearms. You eyed the teacher as she made her way into the room, "You're right there, Lix, but there's honestly no way Minho would like me. And me of all people would know that." You locked that statement in, feeling your words and emotions contradict.

Right?

iii.

"And then Y/N had the audacity to step on my foot," Minho kicked at the bench across from him, frustration released after what seemed to Seungmin was years of ranting. He didn't mind though, in years of being in the same house as him, he learned how to block him out yet still know what was going on when Minho asked for some sort of reply.

Minho tapped the end of his pencil against his textbook, eyes drifting off elsewhere in the grand hall. Students were clumped at their respective tables, studying for whatever class they had. Minho was trying to do the same, but his state of mind was not in the mood. But he was trying, he was pushing himself, that's what mattered in his opinion.

Turning his attention to Seungmin, who was seated next to him, he jumped, seeing that Seungmin's eyes were wide and directed at him, "What the hell!?"

"What?" Seungmin shifted back forward, facing his own books. In a sense, the scene was hysterical. He acted as if he hadn't done anything wrong or out of the ordinary, but Minho still tried to push an explanation out of him through looks.

"What do you mean what? Why were you looking at me like that?" Minho put his pencil down and closed his book on it.

"I was trying to see something," the boy shrugged and got back to his own work.

Again, Minho furrowed his brows at Seungmin's lack of detail in his response. What in the world was he even trying to do? "Trying to see what? If you don't answer me properly–"

"Okay! Okay!" Seungmin exclaimed a little too loudly, earning looks from other wizards in the room, "You know that saying that if you're in love, you start to glow?"

"No? What type of nonsense are you saying?" Minho scoffed, "Love? Are you sick or something?" Roughly, Minho brought the back of his hand to Seungmin's forehead, which Seungmin had thrown off almost right away.

"You've been talking about Y/N this entire period, you haven't stopped until moments ago," wiggling his eyebrows, Seungmin whispered his reply to Minho, making sure no one would be able to hear him this time.

Minho's face had contorted into one of disgust and confusion, "And?" Where was Seungmin even going with this? He was just relieving stress. It's not that deep.

"My point is that they're the only thing you've been talking about lately," Seungmin scribbles his pen at the top of his paper to get it to work, "Even if I start the conversation, it somehow just shifts to Y/N. Normally I'd be mad, but since you're in love, I'll let it pass."

"In love?" Minho's jaw dropped, a mixture of emotions swimming around inside of him, "In love!?" Trying to find words to perfectly reflect what he was saying, he fails, shoving Seungmin off the bench. Actions spoke louder than words, right?

Seungmin smirked and chuckled, unfazed, "What? Cat got your tongue?" He gets up, dusting his robe off before sitting back down, "It's because I'm right, aren't I?"

Minho gulps, "Will you quit it? You're…"

"I'm…?"

"You're confusing me. Quit it," Minho huffs, gathering all his things as he was planning to return to the dormitories. This was a different way of playing with emotions. There was a zero per cent chance that he liked you, or worse, loved you. That word was way too strong, dangerous like amortentia.

"I take that as a yes!" Seungmin stood his ground, just letting out a genuine laugh.

Minho held a finger up at Seungmin, who still laughed, unbothered. He didn't like you. And if he did, it wasn't wrong to do so. It was an ordinary mortal thing to have feelings. But that didn't matter right now because he didn't like you, not even a tiny crush.

But that slight state of unfamiliar panic in his heart says otherwise.

iv.

The muscles in your arm were aching from the horrible fact that Minho had been purposefully letting his arm go limp while he was holding your hand, which somehow led to you holding up his arm with your arm. You frowned at him, tempted to let your arm fall in the middle of the routine.

"Can you actually put in some effort?" you whispered through gritted teeth. Squeezing Minnho's hand, you directed a look of annoyance that only returned with an amused look. Underneath his robe, you could tell he had been intentionally dragging his feet, causing the both of you to slowly hold those partnerships behind you up.

"I'm not wasting energy on this," he shrugs quietly, "It's ridiculous."

"What don't you find ridiculous?" you rolled your eyes, "You Slytherins and the lack of interest in anything but yourselves. Where's the excitement in that?" No, you didn't want to generalize the entire Slytherin population, especially since you had family members from that house, but you knew exactly how to rev up Minho's engine. Just by the way his face twisted, you knew damn well you hit the right spot.

"Shut your mouth before I spin you a little too hard…" he said a little bit louder, "I don't find it ridiculous, I just find that us being partners is ridiculous… who in this entire school would want to be partners with you?" Before you could even reply, he had caught you, "That's not from your house."

"Jokes on you, I know plenty of people who would be partners with me," you scoffed, and it was true. There was Jisung who had somehow been sorted into Gryffindor, Hyunjin and their seniors, Bang Chan and Changbin. And there was Jeongin, who was a Ravenclaw. You could list a handful more, but that's beside the point.

"Silence is deadly," he stifled a laugh which had driven you to 'accidentally' stumble over your own feet. This caused him to stumble himself, only he wasn't prepared for it, "I'm blaming you for ending up being my partner. I was hoping someone else would've entered the room. But no, it had to be you."

"You're blaming me? For this?" You shake your head out of disbelief, not noticing that your voice had gone louder. You were catching the attention of those around you and the professors at the front of the room, "You could have found a partner you wanted in the first place but you probably decided to stay back and wait for someone to go up to you. No one wanted to be partners with you, which is why you ended up alone in the first place."

Minho's eyebrows furrowed, eyes almost on fire at what you had just said, "You know what?!"

Before he had been able to continue the banter, Professor Shin had cleared her throat. The glares that they both were sending your way had caused the both of you to stop with the squabbling, "Y/N, Minho, I know we've never talked to the two of you about your constant bickering, but it is simply interrupting the atmosphere of my classroom."

Taken aback, the both of you had stumbled over each other's feet, falling to the ground and causing a domino effect among the rest of the students.

Flustered, you turn to Minho, "That was all your fault, Lee Minho." You huffed and attempted to get up, failing once you noticed that Minho was practically lying on your leg.

"Oh be quiet," he rolled his eyes and dusted himself off, "That was all you! You and your two left feet." The rest of the room was silent, regardless of the incident. All ears and eyes were on the 'love birds,' not entirely sure whether or not they should blame you both on what had just happened.

Sliding out from underneath him, you scoffed, "Don't speak so highly of yourself, Minho."

Minho cackled, "Highly? Of myself?!"

"Stop this instant!" Professor Na had finally mustered up the courage to intervene, anger bubbling in his stomach, "Enough!" The two professors began helping the students up, scolding both of you as they did.

"Five points deducted from your respective houses," Professor Shin said sharply, "And you both are now in charge of polishing the floor every Friday for the following three weeks."

"But professor–"

Minho was cut off, "That, or ten points off for your houses…" And without another word, you both chose to polish the floors after all classes were done for the day.

Day one of polishing the floors was practically the most difficult. Not only did the professors restrict using magic to finish the chore, but the overall idea of doing something alongside Minho aggravated you, which was why you hated dancing with him so much. The comments he'd make, the taunting looks he'd give you, the jokes that were obviously uncalled for, they all were honestly bringing you to the point of near insanity.

At first, both of you had decided to start off on the same side, almost the same corner. But the moment you noticed Minho constantly glancing your way in the corner of your eye, you decided against it, "How about I start at that end."

"Whatever floats your boat," he mumbles, "I don't care."

The tone in his voice hadn't matched yours, which you assumed was polite enough not to spark some type of that energy in him, but it did.

"Whatever," you make your way to the other end, sliding your robe off on the way. You let it hang off one of the benches, making sure it wasn't touching the floor. You rolled up your sleeves and started polishing the further end of the room, a bit relieved that Minho wasn't hovering anywhere within your line of sight. It was better that way.

The second day, you were hoping that you could get through a period of cleaning without hearing Minho's ungodly voice. He had been moving back and forth from one corner to the other, feet squeaking seemingly endlessly against the floor. You wished that the volume of the music could be turned up louder.

"I'm doing more than you are," Minho pointed out. You turned to find that he was standing in the middle of the room, hair messy and beads of sweat lining his hairline. His collar was out of place, and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows just as yours were. Did he, for some reason, look attractive, or was it the lack of light in the room? Probably the latter.

"What do you mean you're doing more than I am?" you feel your eyebrows knit together in confusion, "I'm doing the same amount of work as you." And you were, but you were working just a bit slower than he was. He had probably sped through his area with the idea that the sooner you both finished, the sooner you were able to leave.

"Just hurry up," he groaned. Minho dragged his feet over to a lone stool, pushing it against the wall before plopping into it. The music continued to play, drowning out the shuffle noises of his feet.

"No," you replied, keeping your speed consistent. It wasn't like you wanted to stay longer. It was the fact that Minho couldn't leave until you were finished that was making you act this way. Maybe if he did his job well, he wouldn't be sitting around doing nothing.

Tile by tile, you continued to carry out the chore given to you, not paying mind to the pair of eyes that were burning holes into your back. You ensured that the areas you had worked on were basically spotless, reflection or not, you assumed that shiny meant clean.

Minho had been humming along to the somewhat catchy tune, foot tapping to pass the precious time he believed you were wasting. Nonetheless, he leaned back and sighed, hoping you could finish in time, so he had time to nap before dinner.

"Why do they even need classes for dancing?" He sighed out. At first, you weren't quite sure if he was speaking to you or if he was just thinking out loud, "I feel like we'd be fine either way…" You turn to look at him, seeing that he was already staring at you down.

"I mean it's going to look nice at the Yule Ball,"

You replied.

"Yeah but not everyone's going… it's a waste of time," Minho had a point, yet you still found it somewhat amusing that the school would want to organize such things.

"I don't see why you don't just skip class if you find it a waste of time," you moved onto another spot and sighed, "No one's stopping you."

"Yeah but who'd be your partner then?"

Not knowing how to react to his question, you keep quiet. Minho decided not to follow up on the problem, thinking that he had said something out of the ordinary.

The sun had reached the horizon when you finished your portion of the room. You stood up to stretch, hearing the joints of your knees and back pop out of exhaustion. It was satisfying to see the difference between the used, scruffy floor and the clean, polished floor.

"Okay Lee Minho I'm finished," without taking a glance at the boy, you made your way over to the record player. You lifted the needle off and picked the record up, slipping it into its sleeve. It didn't occur to you that Minho hadn't shifted in the past thirty minutes, silence filling the room because you turned the music off.

"Minho?" Finally turning to him, you found him sleeping with his head sat back against the wall. His mouth was wide open, practically becoming a makeshift trap for bugs that happened to be flying around. The rest of his body was limp, legs spread out beneath him. It was surprising that he hadn't fallen off yet.

You walked up to his sleeping figure and laughed lightly, wishing you had a camera to capture this moment. It would've been great blackmail. Maybe then he'd start being nice to you. Naturally, your eyes followed the slope of his nose, then to the two front teeth that stuck out from underneath his top lip.

He had bunny-like features, and you didn't mean that in a wrong way. His face was still sculpted nonetheless. Anyone with eyes would have to admit that he was attractive.

"Done staring at me yet?"

You screamed and jumped back, pressing your hand up to your chest as if to calm you down. Looking back at Minho, you find that his eyes were still closed, yet a smirk had replaced his gaping mouth. The number of curse words that threatened to leave your mouth was countless, the embarrassment creeping up to your cheeks. He finally lifted his head to look at you, eyes still a bit droopy from his nap.

"I-I wasn't staring at you," you denied, shaking your head a bit too aggressively, "Well I was… but because I was laughing at how foolish you just looked."

An offended look surfaced Minho's face, scowling at you as he stood, "I have this feeling that you're lying, bumblebee… Anyways, this is where I leave. Finally, after years." He shook his rolled-up sleeves so that the cuffs slid back to his wrists. You let him leave without another word from the two of you, still in a bit of shock at what just happened. You knew he was never going to let you forget that.

You slumped next to Felix as dinner was being served, an expression almost as heavy as your posture. He looked down at you, debating whether or not he should interrupt the mini montage you were probably playing through your head.

"I want to ask you how the cleaning today was but I think I already know just by looking at you," he stated, sliding a piece of roasted chicken your way, "Unless you do want to speak about it. Just eat and the day's over."

You gave him a grateful smile and gestured for him to eat too, eyes lighting up slightly, "I'm actually not tired from cleaning that stupid dance room, but it's just… this thing that happened. It was beyond embarrassing."

Felix snorts and stuffs his cheeks with food. His words came out muffled as he still chose to reply with a full mouth, "What happened this time?"

You glanced towards the Slytherin table, eyes scanning it quickly to get one quick look at Minho before you whispered, "Minho fell asleep waiting for me to finish cleaning. He looked idiotic as he did so I sorta just—how do I say this— stared at him? But it wasn't like I was admiring him, it was more like I didn't want that stupid look on his face to go away. It was amusing."

"And?"

"In the middle of that he went, 'are you done staring yet?' It was like he had a sixth sense or something," you muttered, "Now I feel like he's making fun of me."

"Doesn't he always make fun of you," Felix had yet again stuffed his mouth, so his words were still muffled, "Why does it matter this time?"

"It's different. It's not some useless situation… it was genuinely embarrassing," you poke the food before taking a bite of your own, "He's going to it against me, I already know."

"Don't worry, I'm pretty sure he'll forget it sooner than you will."

"Hey remember when I caught you staring at me?" Minho's voice echoed faintly throughout the room. He stood up to stretch before he crouched back down.

"I never stared at you," you sneered, "And why are you talking about that as if it happened years ago. That was literally last week."

"That's long enough in my book," he retorted, "Good times." A small reminiscing type smile appearing on his lips.

"Can you not start? I sorta want today to be stress-free and you're literally ruining it," you roll your eyes and move onto the next tile on your side. Minho had decided to choose a different record to play today, one the professors had never played in class. It had been hidden behind all the other records being used, and it took Minho a good five minutes to rake through all of them just to get to it.

The songs were more upbeat than the waltz music you were forced to listen to, which was actually much more perfect for cleaning to. It made it a bit more bearable than the last two times you had to clean.

Minho didn't reply, though you didn't see how he switched glances between you and the mechanical polisher in hand. The track had shifted into a faster song, something that was easy to dance to. From where he stood, he could see your knitted eyebrows, eyes dropping from the slight fatigue blanketing over you after a long school day.

Upon awareness that his shoulders were slumped, he straightened himself and sighed. This week had indeed been a long week, and it was evident in some way in both of you. This was the last of the week's labour before he could go and relax while mindlessly saving his homework for Sunday.

The music had been tempting to let go earlier than he should for the week, the steady beat and the catchy melody filling the room.

Putting the polisher and the rag down, he took a few steps towards you, still contemplating whether he should do what he was thinking or not. He was unsure whether it was bizarre for him to pull such a thing. But you did say you wanted a stress-free day, so he thought he should switch up a bit.

He started moving his body to the rhythm of the music, head bobbing as it took over him naturally. It was easier dancing alone than with a partner, that's for sure, but he wanted to invite you.

"Y/N!" He was freestyling, arms flailing and legs bringing him across the room with a swift movement.

You sighed, "What now?" Turning to Minho, you find him in the middle of the dance room, doing what the room was made for. He had a foreign smile on his face, not the usual smirk you'd find him sporting.

"What the–"

"Join me!"

You went through several different emotions in seconds, confusion, amusement, joy, contemplation… how were you supposed to react to a goofy Minho?

"Join me!" He repeated. This time he approached you, hands out in invitation, "C'mon it's fun!"

"Minho, we have to finish this so we can leave, remember?" You tried to keep a stern look on your face, yet you couldn't hold back the smile that had been forcing itself out. Minho suited this look; It was happier and carefree. You didn't know that his eyes would light up when he smiled a somewhat gummy smile.

"I know, but let's take a break," being the impatient boy he was, he took hold of your hands and pulled you up. He led you in a dance that probably wasn't considered a partner dance. He just pushed your arms back and forth like those scenes in the movies.

"Minho!" You finally let out a laugh, feet unable to keep up with his. He was sidestepping left, then sidestepping right, then back and forth, all unplanned. You stumbled, letting out joyful laughter that was rare around Minho. He laughed along with you, eyes disappearing the bigger his smile got.

When your legs had gotten worn out from constant movement, you tripped over one of them, sending you and your dance partner to the ground. Instead of erupting anger that would have usually washed over you, fits of laughter fell in its place, echoing throughout the room.

Before you could ask if he was okay, you hear footsteps enter the room, a confused Professor Shin staring the both of you down, "What are you two doing?! This is not polishing the floors!" The exasperation changed the normal hue of her skin into a shade of crimson.

Quickly apologizing, you get up and return to your so-called 'stations,' not being able to say another word about what had just happened to each other.

You wouldn't admit it out loud, not in front of Minho at least… but that was the most fun you've had in weeks.

Little did you know, Minho felt the same way.

v.

There was a part of you who had gotten used to Minho's horrible dancing after two weeks of dancing classes. After what happened last week, there was a tiny sliver of toleration that had surfaced from both of you. It was mutual. But obviously, neither of you were going to admit it.

Though Minho was starting to get somewhat bearable, there were still days when he'd begin to act up, smirk pinned tightly on his lips while he mischievously pranced about in the dance room. Today was one of those days.

When Professor had slipped the record onto the play, dropping the needle onto the very edge and starting it, Minho had chosen to let his body go heavy, relying on you to haul him around like a giant, weighted ragdoll. You knew he wasn't tired, just judging by the look in his eyes.

"Give it up," you tugged him roughly in one direction, then again towards another, feet hardly following the steps the class was taught the past few weeks. If Minho let his body grow just a bit limper than it already was, his head would have fallen directly onto your shoulder. If you were being honest, you didn't want any attention from anyone else in the room, "Lee Minho, I'm not in the mood for this today, okay?"

Minho's ears perked at the foreign tone that had slipped from your lips, sensing that you were being serious. You would tell him to quit it most days, but never with that tone; It was no fun if you weren't fighting back. Sighing quietly, he had picked his body up and started to follow the eight-count that Professor Shin was practically yelling out.

This minor change didn't go unnoticed by you, feeling his body grow lighter just moments after you'd ask him to quit it. Did he just…?

Other students in the room were surprised that you two were going more than thirty seconds without arguing like a married couple. Many sets of eyes didn't bother leaving the both of you, watching what would happen next in the twist of events.

Minho's feet carried his body swiftly; for the first time, he was guiding you like he was supposed to, but his eyes were glued to his feet, not wanting it to become weird if he were to make accidental eye contact with you. He didn't like how quiet it was between the both of you. The music didn't even do its purpose by filling the silence.

"Are you going to the Yule Ball?" Minho asked awkwardly. He twirled you as part of the dance. He recognized that look on your face which was basically a wordless reply, "That was probably a dumb question." Shaking his head, Minho mentally slapped himself. Never in his life did he fail with words.

"Of course I'm going," you replied rather expressionless, "Why would I not?" You were almost as confused as earlier. Minho trying to make a civilized conversation. Who the fuck was this? It wasn't Minho.

He shrugs, "I don't know… I guess you have a date…?" Minho, what the fuck. He squeezed his eyes shut as if the stone floor would swallow him wholly to take him away from this situation.

As puzzled as you were, you still decided to keep the conversation as it was, "Nope… I think I'm just going with Felix for fun." You tried to keep your tone calm when really you were freaking out. The only thing was you had no idea why you were freaking out, "Y-you?" Facepalm.

"No one."

None of you chose to speak after, not knowing where the conversation was going. The song was slowly reaching the end, which you had wished came sooner. Minho's hands were growing sweaty, and you wanted nothing more than to wipe your hand off. It was getting hot in the room too. Your collar was growing tight, throat itching for water.

Minho's heart was beating a bit too fast for his liking, but it was probably because he was growing tired from the moving. He wondered if you could feel how sweaty his hands were getting. Embarrassing.

"Final counts!" Professor Na called out before the static of the record player replaced the music. The two of the professors had clapped in adoration, overlooking all the students in the room.

Professor Shin had a broad smile on her face, "Beautiful! Gorgeous! Best one so far!" She twirled in place, "Thank you everyone! The Yule ball is in two weeks so I am very pleased with the effort you all are putting into this class! Remember we still have the final class in which you are graded, which I'm sure you all will ace."

"I couldn't care less," Minho mumbled, only so you could hear.

You turn to him, squinting your eyes and tilting your head to express your slight frustration, "You know I'm your partner right?"

"Oh no~ really?," he stuffed his hands into his pockets, "And?"

"And? I don't want to fail this class, even though I'm forced to dance with you," you stated, "So don't you fucking dare fail us both." That tone in your voice was evident once again, catching Minho off guard. The only reason that it had this effect on him was that he was so used to you choosing to fight back. It was like some sort of reminder that everyone around him was getting old, and soon all those around him were expected to be serious.

Nevertheless, Minho shrugs to annoy you, "Whatever."

Instead of answering, you eyed him once more. Your dancing just a few moments ago says otherwise.

You had practically sighed out the total capacity of your lungs as you hung onto Felix's arms on the way out the door.

"What are you sighing about?" He chuckled.

"You already know," you elbowed him.

Felix rolled his eyes and sang, "I saw you guys dancing earlier~."

You pushed him away gently, shock littering your face and posture, "What the bloody hell are you on about now, Lee?"

"You guys actually look cute together when you aren't babbling and all," he grinned innocently. Your heart had the audacity to skip a beat, startling you just as much as Felix did.

"Cute?" You scoffed, "First you said you think he liked me, now this? Are you his wingman or something? Are you trying to get me to like him?"

Felix skipped in his step, "I don't even talk to Minho, Y/N, don't be ridiculous… wait… did you basically just say you're starting to like him?" He gasped, hand slapping over his mouth, which had fallen in shock.

"No," you say flatly.

"Liar," Felix poked at your rib, "Liar. At least confess that you find him less bad."

"Sure, whatever makes you happy, Felix."

When you had fallen out of Felix's line of sight, you let the corner of your mouths turn up slightly. He said we looked cute, you think, only followed by you flicking yourself in the temple.

-

"I thought you were staying here until it closed?" you frown at Felix, who started gathering his stuff. You both had planned on cramming everything in for a test the next day, but plans didn't go as planned when Felix was eager to go back to the dormitories to sleep until the morning.

"My eyes are going to fall out of their sockets if I don't go and sleep, Y/N," he pats your head as if he were talking to a young child, "You can stay if you want. I know how much you hate studying in the common room." He double-checks his area to ensure he hadn't forgotten any of his belongings before patting your head once more. He grins and turns towards the door of the library, leaving you sitting alone at the table.

"Felix ~" You called out quietly, only for him to wave with his back facing you. You sighed and slumped back in your chair, resting your arms on the handles. Libraries were so much better when you had company.

The words in the textbook were starting to turn into blobs of ink, and for a second, you were thinking about following in Felix's footsteps. After moments of consideration, you shook your head and sat up. You'll stay, even if it was against the will of your fatigue self that had been prompting you to leave. This was all your fault anyway. Procrastination was a cruel thing.

Hunching forward, you let your eyes trace over the words, trying to process the information. You rewrote the info you wished to remember carelessly. Your notes resembled chicken scratch, but at this point, you didn't care because it was simply supplementary to your studying. The sun was close to its horizon, and the library was close to empty. It was somewhat more motivating.

Slowly the information had started to get more interesting. It was easier to run through the key terms and ideas listed in the textbook, and you could feel the exhaustion simply leaving your body. I'll finish this one last chapter and then save the rest for lunch tomorrow.

Your focus on the book had hindered your peripheral vision that the presence of another wizard floating over your shoulder went unnoticed. It was only until they had sat down next to you when you finally noticed.

You jumped in your seat, eyes growing wide. You had luckily suppressed your scream with your hand, which you had, out of defense, swung forward, slapping the person in the chest.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You don't sneak up on people like that, Minho," you rolled your eyes at the Slytherin, shifting away from him before turning your attention back towards the textbook. He scooches closer with intentions of irritating you, pushing his face towards your book, "What are you doing?"

You push him away and stick one of the thicker books between you both, "What does it look like?"

"Studying?"

"You're smarter than I thought, Lee Minho," sarcasm dripped from your voice as you glared at him. Attempting to continue with the final chapter, you miserably fail when Minho interrupts your concentration by tapping his fingers loudly against the wooden table.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" you say numbly, voice muffled by your robe, "I was literally just sitting here and you decide to do this."

Minho shrugs and uses his arms as a makeshift pillow, "I was bored, saw you, here I am, I'm here to stay."

Your eyebrows furrowed at the fact that Minho decided to 'spend time with you upon seeing you. You had no idea whether to feel flattered or irritated, but you knew you were confused. He could've just gone back to the Slytherin dungeons to sit with his housemates, but he saw you and decided to sit with you.

Staring blankly at the bookshelves across from you, you huffed out the corner of your mouth, blowing a stray strand of hair by your cheek. You did say you wanted company. You just weren't sure if it was Minho's company that you wanted. Glancing down briefly at him, and looked back up to the bookshelves.

"Fine," you say after pondering about the idea.

Minho's ears perked up, raising his brows, "Fine?"

"Just don't be loud."

Minho's head tilts in confusion, though he still complies, sitting next to you patiently. You continued to read through the final chapter, which you had underestimated in length. The chapter was a good half a centimetre in thickness. Though it didn't seem as much at first glance, the pages were practically dipped in ink, words covering it from one corner to the other.

You could feel your eyes grow heavy as you delve deeper into the chapter. Your bed was calling for you, but there was no way you were going to give. Not until this chapter was finished.

The library had been silent except for the occasional click of the pen from the librarian's desk. You had been mentally counting down the number of pages left to skim over, eager to feel that feeling of satisfaction you usually get once you finish a task. It was the same feeling as crossing or checking off a chore on a to-do list.

Minho had settled his eyes on the centre of your book, keeping them steady even as you flipped the pages. He felt the lids of eyes gradually get heavier as each page went by, and by the time you shut the book in delight, he had fallen asleep.

"Again?" You furrowed your eyebrows, remembering the last time he had fallen asleep in your presence. You darted your eyes away from his dormant figure, not making that same mistake twice, "Minho, wake up."

He stirs right away, head rising from his arms. This time he says nothing, pushing himself off of the library's chair before stumbling over his own feet as he makes his way to your side. He looked like a toddler, and it was admittedly adorable.

"Why didn't you just go straight to the dorms if you were tired," you snorted at his dumbassery. Some students still littered the halls even if curfew was nearing. Instead of parting from your side at the library's entrance, Minho stuck by your side.

"I wanted to spend time with you outside of class," he grumbles. He blinks at the long corridor in front of you two, eyes barely staying open from exhaustion.

Feeling your heart skip a beat, you tried to pick out if he was joking or not, but his tone screamed, 'I'm tired.' Any other emotion was hard to comb out, so you sighed and shook your head, pressing your lips into a smile, "Sleep that cheesiness off, Lee Minho."

Minho continued to walk next to you, silent and confused about what you just had said. It wasn't like he was drunk. He was well aware of what he just said. Nonetheless, he subtly walked you to the kitchen corridor, parting ways with you with an uttered 'goodbye.'

vi.

Sitting against the stone wall, you watched the rest of the class carry out the dance routine, formation changes and all. You ran through it with them, only mentally as your partner was nowhere to be found, and the class was halfway done.

There were barely any classes left before the final graded run through, and Minho really thought it'd be funny to skip? You would have let it pass if you guys weren't the worst duo in the room, but you guys are the worst duo in the room, which made the situation different.

"Professor Na," You asked quietly, "Has Lee Minho been excused from today's class. Is he ill?" You didn't want to jump to conclusions, keeping in mind that people did have their own reasons. Maybe he had caught a cold or was doing a missed exam that was far more important than dancing.

"No word from Minho, Y/N," the professor hummed back.

You frowned and thanked him, turning back to the main dance floor, students moving in sync. Where was he?

Just as you had finished your train of thought, the door had swung open just like it probably did on the first day of class. Minho stumbled in, hair a mess and a rather sheepish smile stamped on his lips.

"I apologize Professors," he bowed deeply, following the perimeter of the room. He bowed again as he reached the two instructors at the front of the room.

Professor Shin stopped her counting, "No need to apologize to us, apologize to your partner." She gestured towards you, already looking back. Minho nodded and approached you, though when he did reach you, he didn't apologize.

"And?"

"And what?" Minho ridiculed.

"Aren't you going to apologize like what the Professor asked?" You tried not to laugh at how Minho had been acting.

Minho let out a cackle, “No? Why should I? Can you stand up so we can start dancing or something?" His hand was itching to reach out for yours, feeling like he should pull you towards him, but he hindered himself from doing so, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Instead of pushing the apology out of him, you decided against it, not wanting to waste any of your time, "Why are you even late?"

The two of you followed the crowd, joining in at the perfect time. Minho smirked, "Worried about me or something? I know I'm in your head twenty-four seven, but I didn't expect you to be so obvious about it."

Tightening your grip around his hand, you gritted your teeth, "I wasn't worried about you, nitwit."

"Then why are you asking?"

"Because you made me sit, doing nothing for nearly forty-five minutes?" You reply as if you were pointing out the obvious, "So why are you late and coming to class looking like a mountain troll?"

"Wow, ouch," he sighed, "I slept in. Am I going to hell for doing so? Because I can recall you did the same the first day and got us into this mess."

"This is about you, not me," you applied pressure onto his hands, causing him to stumble back slightly, ruining the rhythm he had built up. He furrowed his brows at you and did the same, only you were somehow ready for it.

"Oh please," Minho rolls his eyes, "You've done the same so you shouldn't even be mad at me."

"I'm only frustrated, not mad, there's a difference," you point out, "And I'm frustrated because we have that graded dance next week. If we fail, it's going to be your fault."

"It takes two to tango," he quoted, "And you already know where I stand on that. I don't ca-"

"Shut up, the professors are looking," you warned, flashbacks to the three weeks you had to polish the floors.

Minho laughed slightly, letting air blow out of his nose. He let his eyes drift down at you, keeping them there for a little too long.

"What?"

"Nothing," he shrugged, spinning you along with the other students, "You just looked way too terrified." The next move had the two of you closer than the initial space between you.

"I don't want to be spending an extra three hours with you after classes polishing the floor," you retort sharply. Instead of holding eye contact with him, you stared at the Slytherin crest on his uniform.

"I know you liked spending time with me, don't lie," he rolled his eyes teasingly.

"I'm not lying."

"You staring at me says otherwise."

"Oh hush about that already, I literally told you that I wasn't staring at you," Inwardly cringing, you felt relief once the music had stopped. You stepped back and eyed down the boy in front of you, "Why do keep bringing that up?"

Before Minho could give reasoning, Professor Na had spoken up from across the room, reminding everyone that the next class was the graded class. Though they wouldn't be strict with grading, he still wanted to see the students' effort 'flowing'. After a chorus of groans, class ended, allowing you to avoid Minho and find your way to Felix.

-

Someone tapping your shoulder had woken you up, head jolting up as if you were frightened.

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," Chaeryeong gasped sheepishly. She was hovering over you slightly, eyes wide. She was changed into her nightwear.

You sat up, only now realizing you had fallen asleep in the common room, "It's alright. What time is it?" You didn't even remember how you fell asleep, but you sure did have a good sleep.

"It's almost midnight," she replied, "I needed to grab water from the kitchen, then I saw you here and figured it'd be more comfortable for you to go to sleep in your own bed rather than this tiny couch."

You grinned, "Thanks Chae… I'll probably get something from the kitchen as well."

She nods and mumbles out a quick goodnight before disappearing to the girls' dorms. You return her farewell before standing up, eyes drawn to the wrinkles your nap had made on your robe. Attempting to straighten the robe and yourself out, you stumbled towards the Hufflepuff house entrance, exiting promptly.

The fireplace had been lit, a few house elves roaming about and carrying out their own duties. They paid no mind to you, as midnight snacks weren't out of the ordinary for Hufflepuffs.

You asked for what you needed, then was given it with no delay, "Thank you." The house elf nods before turning away with a grunt.

You sit at one of the tables, zoning out as you stared at the blazing fire across from you. School was getting a bit more stressful than it usually has, which was probably the reason why you had fallen asleep without knowing. You remember coming back from a long library visit. Maybe you collapsed on the couch once you did.

You made mental notes on the work still yet to be done before the following week, spontaneously creating a headache. Standing up, you figured it was best for you to go back to sleep. Slipping the dish into the sink, you started making your way back to the dorms.

You rubbed your temples and shook your head as you closed your eyes. It probably hadn't been a good idea to be wandering with your eyes closed as you had immediately bumped into something firm.

"Y/N?"

Looking up, you came face to face with Lee Minho, who was just as shocked as you were. He had been dressed down in a knitted Slytherin sweater and pyjama pants.

"Minho? What in the world?"

He backs up after noticing how close you were to each other, "Could say the same 'bout you."

"My dorms are right there," you point just down the corridor, "While yours is in the dungeon…"

Minho blinks before he tries to move around you, eyes avoiding yours.

"What are you doing here?" you grab his wrist, eager to find out why he was roaming the halls. It wasn't unusual for students to be breaking the rules, especially Minho, who loved living up to the stereotypes of a Slytherin. He smirks at the skinship, which prompts you to let go of him, heat rising up to your cheeks without warning. You're suddenly glad it's dim around the two of you.

"I was… taking a walk," he successfully pushes past you and into the kitchen, a glass of water already there for him. He thanks the house elf, leaving the glass, before turning back to you. By the looks of it, it seems like he's been doing this before, like a routine.

Rolling your eyes, you scoffed, "Taking a walk? You're painfully awful at lying." And the pause in his speaking gave that away. You followed behind him, expecting an honest answer as if you deserved to know.

"Weren't you just leaving?"

"But my question is unanswered," you shrugged.

"I answered you, I was taking a walk," he pushed the answer. Putting the cup down, he turned to you, "I have… sleeping problems."

"You just lied again," you nonchalantly, "Just tell me the truth. No judgment. A Hufflepuff's promise." You weren't usually one to push an answer out of someone, but this situation was different.

"You say no judgment but I already know how you're going to react to the truth," he takes another sip of water.

"So you were lying!" You raised your brows, "I knew it!"

"You don't deserve the truth," he sighs. Finishing the cup of water, he starts to make his way out, not even turning to look back.

"Lee Minho!" You groaned. Maybe it was your fatigue self or the fact this felt like some sort of game, but you weren't holding yourself back, "When I said I wouldn't judge, I won't. My mind's open to whatever you're going to say."

Minho spins around to face you, stumbling backward a few more steps before he halts, "I was practicing the dance steps."

No judgment.

The flat expression on Minho's face indicated that he had no intentions of lying this time. He had his hands hiding behind his back, eyeing you just to see if you would live up to your promise. Instead of his expected reaction, he finds you smiling, something he'd only see when you were around your friends.

"Wipe that smile off of your face, bumblebee," he mutters.

"Didn't you say you didn't care about that class?" you quoted, a smirk slowly replacing your smile, "Why are you practicing the steps?"

Minho licked his lips. He was at a loss of words, nothing but the truth occupying his mind… Why the hell not?

"Because you care."

You blinked back at him, lips parting and meeting several times as you tried to find the right words to say. The silence was deafening. "What?"

"Because you care," Minho repeated. He kept his expression still, eyeing you, trying to figure out how you were taking this in.

How would he further explain it? He didn't know. All he knew was that ever since that specific moment between the both of you the other day, he took it upon himself to better his partner dancing. He didn't want anyone else knowing, not you, and especially not his housemates, which was why he chose to stay up late to do this; it was the real reason why he had shown up late to class.

You weren't sure if it was because it was quiet, but you could easily hear your heartbeat as it quickened. You try to cover up the fact that you wanted to freak out, "I don't know whether I should laugh or–"

"Yeah, whatever, shouldn't have told you in the first place," he mumbles. For some reason, he felt his heart lub-dub in a way that it shouldn't. He frowned and sighed, "Just forget it."

"Wait, Minho," you call quietly. He stopped in his tracks and turned, partially facing the wall and facing you. He stared back at you with a vacant look, waiting for you to say something. If you weren't going to be saying something nice, he didn't want to hear it after exposing himself like that.

"'Because you care?'" you frowned, "You can't just say that and leave." You already made up a possible answer to the countless questions through your mind, but it was still unclear whether or not that was it.

"What else do you want me to say?" Minho stuffs his hands into his pockets.

"I just want you to explain it," you reply quietly.

Minho glanced out the window sitting by you both before sitting down on its pane, "Remember that other day… when I told you I didn't care?" You nod and move closer to where he sat, unsure whether or not you should sit next to him or not, "I don't know… you were really serious back then… I guess I wasn't used to that. So I figured…"

There was a quick moment of silence before he huffs, almost sounding defeated.

"Did you know that I genuinely don't dislike you as much as you think I do?" He says out of the blue, throwing you off. You wanted to tell him to sleep it off again—why did moments like this always happen at night?

"I don't either," you say back, "At first I did… but I matured."

"I only ever argued with you out of amusement. You're the only person outside of Slytherin that could out-talk me and it bothered me for some reason," he laughed as if he recalled a memory.

"Me intimidating a Slytherin? Just wait til the others hear about this," you joke. He glanced towards your direction and saw a clever glint in your eye.

"Don't you dare," he holds back a smile before standing up to face you directly, "Or…"

"Or what?" You challenged, "Imagine how Seungmin would react! Donghyuck and Renjun? What about Yeosang and Wooyoung?" You start listing the other well-known Slytherins off of the top of your head, holding back a laugh as you watch Minho's face crumble into an expression that looks far too close to fear.

Minho recollects himself and shakes some sense into himself, "Or I'll make you go to the Yule Ball with me." He hadn't planned on asking you today, but the timing was perfect. It fit with the situation. If you were to react unfavourably, then he could just joke about it.

His question shut you up. Your eyes widened at him as you processed what he had used as a threat, "What if I want to go to the Yule Ball with you?"

Minho takes a step towards you, a smirk appearing on his lips. His confidence was skyrocketing, and you can tell, "Then I guess it's a date?"

Rolling your eyes, you let a smile grace softly onto your lips, nodding, "It's a date."

Bonus:

"I told you to wear something with gold," you whined jokingly as you were greeted with Minho, who had completely dodged your request. Instead of the black and gold look you were going for, he decided to wear a black suit that had traces of emerald. As much you wanted to match with your date, you had to admit that he still looked as handsome as ever in the attire. He looked like a prince.

"And look like a Hufflepuff? No thanks," he scoffed teasingly. He pulls out a corsage, one that matches the clothes he wore, tying it gently around your wrist, "You look very beautiful."

"Well, you look very handsome."

Minho laughed as he sticks out his forearm, a brow raised in your direction. Music being played by the live band had been spilling out of the ballroom; the voices of everyone attending gave the ball more life. It was exciting.

"Minho!" Seungmin had called. Felix, who had slipped from your side the moment Minho approached you, was standing by Seungmin, smiling brightly. He had been hyping you up the entire night, telling you that there should be nothing to worry about.

He was right.

"Shall we?" Minho asked. It was cheesy, but it worked.

"We shall."

Hope you enjoyed it! A like would be appreciated <3

[tardytothepardy]

Fruits Basket - Vol 17

I am,,, confused. Thoroughly. Did I read this too fast? Am I misunderstanding? This book felt like a series of "What? Huh? What? Huh? What? Whuhh?? Huhhhhh?????" and I am kinda bewildered.

So let's talk about it,,, somehow.

It starts with Shigure and Hatori talking about Akito's meltdown at New Year's, and how apparently Shigure tried to comfort Akito, but Akito was having none of it. The topic of Kureno came up, and how he just seems off, disconnected, in a sense, and also how Akito seems to have chosen Kureno above all the other Juunishi.

Panning over to Kureno, in the previous book Momiji gave him the CD of the play, "Sorta Cinderella". He seemed pretty affected by the things that Uotani said, but they also reminded him of moments with Akito, when he was younger. He calls Shigure later, asking for Tohru, which Shigure finds odd. What business would the two of them have? But it turns out that later, Tohru does run into Kureno, on her way to the store. She was squatting next to a bunch of birds, and when he showed up, they flew away. This is important at all, because that isn't what usually happens to the animals that the Juunishi share a spirit with (agh how to phrase things), in fact it's the opposite. Tohru asks Kureno about this, and then he solidifies any questions by hugging her and,,,, nothing happens. Somehow, he isn't affected by the curse. It has no hold on him, he won't turn into a bird (I suppose a rooster, specifically, which is kinda sad bc I was looking forward to that, in a little way. It'd be funny, if nothing else) if he gets really weak or sick, or if he hugs someone of the opposite sex.

Tohru asks him how this happened, and when, but Kureno doesn't really know. It happened randomly one day, a while back, but he has no idea was triggered it. It's just that, one day, he was vibin, doing his thing, and it just happened. No one else in the family knows, he's just been pretending that he's still a Juunishi. Kureno also said that he can't be with Uotani, that the CD was a wasted attempt, because he's promised to be with and take care of another person, that person being Akito. Kureno makes it clear, though, that he still does care for Uotani, but he just can't be with her. This whole time, it's been switching between the current interaction between Kureno and Tohru, and flashing back to when Kureno first realized that the curse broke for him, and Akito was just fucking losing his mind, screaming and shit. He begged for Kureno to stay, regardless of the curse (btw, at this point, Kureno's a teenager, and Akito's still a little kid, so it was a little while ago), and Kureno said that he would promise to stay with Akito, stay by his side, pretend that he's still a Juunishi, etc.

And then, at the end of the chapter, something is revealed: apparently Akito's a girl. To be honest, I'm not really sure what to do with this information. As far as I can remember, it doesn't really have much to do with anything. Why has he (she? fuck. I have no idea.) been presenting as a boy this whole time? Because his mom forced him, since he was born. Why did she do that? I don't know, it didn't say in this book. Hopefully it fucking clarifies later on, because I'm just getting vibes from that one Insidious movie, with that ghost/demon person. Wasn't that their deal? Something like that. Reversed, but something like that. Idk, I was too busy being scared shitless to think about the intricacies of the plot.

Anyway, so Akito's apparently a girl, but has been raised as a boy. Four of the Juunishi know this: Shigure, Hatori, Ayame, and Kureno, because they were all kids when Akito was born. Apparently, when Akito's mom (her name is Ren) was pregnant with Akito, they all came to her and were crying and shit, acting super weird. Like, they all just knew that Akito would be the God.

As a fun side note, Ren and Akito fucking hate each other. Just,, so much. Is there a person in the Sohma family that doesn't have familial issues, because it just seems like there are a lot of people who do. I think maybe Kagura doesn't? I haven't seen anything saying she has issues. Nothing much has been said about Shigure's, Hatori's, or Kureno's families, so maybe they're okay? I dunno, but one of the things that specifically shows up between Ren and Akito, is that Ren does not believe in the "bond" that Akito and the rest of the Juunishi have, saying that it's a fake love, that, if given the choice, the Juunishi would not behave or treat Akito the way they do, which is kinda true. From what I read about when Yuki first met Akito, there were a lot of conflicting feelings, ranging from "I hate you but also I never want to be away from you" to "This is hell on earth just being near this person but also to be away from this person is agony", and like, whoa. That's a lot. I doubt it's like that at all anymore, but there has been some mentions that Akito does have some higher hold on the Juunishi than other people do.

All this said and done, I still want to know more. I am heavily curious. I'd like to know more about Akito's whole situation. I'm glad he's not just a one-dimensional "bad guy", but dang, some of this stuff, it just feels like it's coming out of left field. (Is that a baseball thing? That sounds like a baseball thing. Idioms are weird.)

By the time that Kureno leaves, Tohru's a wreck. She's crying, and confused, and just,,, yikes. (I kinda was too, but just the confused part.) And so who comes to the rescue than Hanajima, and also Hanajima, but the small one. (I realized recently that most of these people are referred to by their first names, except for like, Uotani and Hanajima, which makes sense. A massive swath of these characters would all be "Sohma". It'd be confusing as fuck. But still. Idk) Hanajima felt Tohru's sheer confusion and despair, and Megumi tagged along because why not, y'know?

Hanajima decided that Tohru would stay with her for the night, so that she and Tohru and Uotani could all talk stuff out about what Tohru was upset about. Unfortunately for Shigure, Yuki and possibly Kyo? I don't think he was home at the time but maybe??, that meant that Tohru wasn't making dinner. So Yuki potentially gave Shigure and himself food poisoning, but hey, it's better than takeout, right? (Seriously, Tohru's back must be tired from cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, and dealing with everyone's emotional baggage, she's doing so much. And she still has her own personal shit that she does, like,,, how hasn't she lost her shit yet??)

Tohru says that Kureno was kind, in that he was looking out for other people's feelings and wellfare before his own, and Hanajima says that she (Tohru) does the same thing (which is what Uotani first saw in Kureno, and why she thought that he was like Tohru), but Hanajima worries that the more that Tohru does that, the more that she carries the worries and troubles of other people, it could end up hurting her. (We love a caring friend that cares) In the end, Uotani tells Tohru that it's okay, that she cares more about the relationships she has now than whatever she might have had with Kureno, which was nice.

Moving onwards, the school is making preparations for graduation! I don't think Tohru and Co. are graduating quite yet (maybe they are idk), but there are these paper flowers that they're making, and for some reason, shenanigans ensue. Like, a group of girls just nabbing a bunch of flowers that Kyo made?? Why? That's really weird of you to do. Stop that. (They were tracked down and forced to make up for all the flowers they stole, because for some reason they wouldn't give back the flowers they stole.) It's kinda weird, I forgot that Kyo is also kinda popular with girls, because usually we only hear from the girls that fawn over Yuki. But yeah, that's a thing for Kyo, as well. Weird, either way.

Now we are at the last chunk of the book, hooray! This isn't as long as the previous one 😬. So, Shigure and Akito got something weird going on. I'm not really sure what to think of it, honestly. Apparently Shigure slept with Ren, and Akito kicked him out of the main house as a punishment, which Shigure did not fight back at all. (wow that was not a large section at all i totally didn't just lose steam and stop right there at all nope not me i don't do that not at all)

I'll admit that part of me is still kinda,, squeamish? I guess? about people in the Sohma household being in relationships, it's just that they all have "Sohma", that is probably messing me up. Idk. It's definitely not a healthy relationship. All kinds of weird tensions and miscommunication abound. It's not a good time.

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Oh Disneyland Paris sounds fun yeah! Were you and your roommate already close then? I went to Walt Disney's world with my aunt and cousin when I was like 11 but it would've been way more fun if I could've taken my best friend with me for sure. Maybe we can go to the one in Paris now that she lives just 3h away from me! Oh I see, sounds like LA was really fun for you yeah! your roommate didn't mind third wheeling tho? Hahaha

Yeah Canada is beautiful but what I liked about it the most was the massive improvement in quality of life I had compared to where I was living before and just being able to be who I am and people accepting me for it. Not being worried about violence 24/7 felt pretty fucking great too. So yeah I highly recommend living there if you ever get a chance. But I am loving Portugal so far, people are a bit more judgemental here tho but I like that it's easier to travel to a lot of countries I've always wanted to go to. Everywhere you go there are pros and cons tho so sorting out priorities is key. But Toronto is my favourite of all the places I've been, before living there for a year I had already been two times!

Jesus 50 states, sometimes I forget how big the US is. And you can totally do it if you plan it out! After watching Bly Manor tho I really want to go to Vermont especially during autumn season looks really pretty! There's this fic I love (only the sun by prestonarchives) where Dani and Jamie go on a road trip from Vermont to Maine and I did their entire journey on Google maps street view bc I was so obsessed with this one chapter fanfic I had to immerse myself entirety in it hahaha. So now I want to go there irl. Here's the link if you haven't read it before!

https://bit.ly/3BLy4WR

Omg I totally remember reading that on CBML and being a bit confused bc I was like why would she think you can't see the moon from the great wall of China HAHAHA but I thought it was really funny and endearing yeah it's even funnier now that I know you said it irl haha.

Oh so ENFP-T means extraverted, intuitive, feeling and prospecting personality with a bit of turbulence. Which just means you're curious, perceptive, enthusiastic, an excellent communicator, festive and good-natured. On the other hand you can be disorganized, unfucosed, a people pleaser, overcommitted, too optimistic and restless.

I wonder what Jamies and Danis mbti are as well as their zodiac signs 🤔 I think Jamie might be an ISTP-A bc she's definitely an introvert, very practical, stubborn, assertive, layed back and energetic at the same time. And Dani is either an ENFP-T like you or an ESFJ-T with the whole selfless thing going on.

AE already made it canon that Jamie's an aries (and it makes sense) but I can't figure Dani out. I've thought about her being a leo ♌ bc she's generous, passionate, warm-harted and dominant in her own way and THE HAIR haha. But she's got some pisces ♓ vibes going on too...idk. aaand I'm back at it again with the astrology signs haha.

To be fair your recent drunken exp it was dark and at least you didn't think the road sign was a bear or something (don't know what kind of wild animals you've got over there) that you wrestled with and ended up in a ditch and your best friend let you believe that happened for 3 years up until recently haha. 😂 but yeah some things happen for a reason, having life threatening health issues doesn't sound great tho, but I guess it's a good thing it stops you from drinking too much and making dumb decisions. And hey maybe I secretly want that to happen again idk maybe moving countries is not exciting enough, I have to go out and make a complete drunken fool out of myself in a completely foreign place hahaha. I guess that did kinda happen last month when my best friend came to visit me from Spain and we got drunk on wine, I got lost on the way back home and it was way past curfew. 🤔 shit I'm 29 will I ever learn...

Episode 9 is 😢😍🥰😰😭🤬☠️ just the worst roller-coaster I didn't even know I was on. Haha I was more pissed off than heartbroken the first time I watched it ngl.

Well then maybe the way you do accents is friendly and funny so people can't really get mad at you haha. Like Dani! Oh so that's called a Geordie accent! I see, it's really really cool. AE said Jamie is from Lancashire but that's a whole county isn't it? Idk if there's a specific accent to this region. Knowing you speak kinda like Jamie is something else tho, I think if anyone who spoke like her ever talked to me irl I wouldn't be able to pay attention to what they were saying 😂 just the accent haha.

Oh so you already have 4k something words for it nice. I'm kinda starting to feel an obsession with this medieval AU growing in me, I made a Pinterest board just for it ngl hahaha but I'm still resisting creating anything for it, I did a face study yesterday for Dani and Jamie to see if I finally pick up the idea and just do it but my brain was still like "I don't want to do this rn" and was just being a little bitch about it so I'll just let it cook for longer see if we can reach an agreement eventually (if ever) haha.

Glad to hear you had a good weekend! Even if it left you feeling exhausted in the end. And yeah it makes sense for you to say you don't have favourites haha! Have a great week Colour, take care! 👋✨

Yeah me and my roommate have been friends since we were like 14 so when we went to Disney Land we asked if we could be roomed together because we've been best friends for that long now... been best friends since school and now we live together. She's seen me at my best, my worst, has seen me in all my stages in life and has been there for a lot of the rough stuff I've been through and I've been there for all the stuff she's been through!! Nah she didn't mind at all we had some moments where me and my ex would just go and be a couple and have dates but my ex didn't want me travelling that far alone so invited my roommate too because she didn't like the thought of me flying 11hours alone or being in airports alone so my roommate came with me and we had a great time Awwh good I'm glad it was such a nice place and that you didn't worry about violence all the time but I'm so sorry you ever had to worry about that anyway that can't be easy. I would honestly love to live in Canada I really hope I get chance one day... I'm glad you're loving Portugal but sorry people are judgemental there but I am glad it's easy for you to travel around to other places... oh yeah every place has it's pros and cons I mean England has some pros but it sure has a lot of cons too so I know all about that Yeah America is SO big but I do want to get around all 50 states at some point and I am stubborn enough and determined enough to make it happen eventually even if I don't get around them all until I'm like 70 I'll make it happen haha!! No I haven't read that fic but it sounds amazing so I'll definitely check it out thank you for sending me the link Yeah... that really happened to me and it was just a dumb moment where I had this momentary lapse of knowledge in my brain and now I look back at that question and I'm just like... "you idiot" and this is why people are shocked when I get questions in quizzes right because I have said some really dumb stuff but I'm glad people found it funny and endearing... and I'm glad it makes it better to know I really said that haha Oooo I didn't know that, I like that and I think it's definitely fitting for me!! I think from what you've said about what ENFP-T means Dani could easily be that too and I don't know anything about the other one but I will take your word for it matching Dani because you know way more about this stuff than I do. I have no idea for Jamie though. And with zodiac signs I love that Amelia looked at Jamie and thought she was an Aries, as for Dani I have NO idea what her zodiac would be... in CBML she's a Leo but in MoU with what I have planned for her birthday she'd be a virgo but I don't know anything about zodiacs... all I know is all the pieces I've ever met have been the opposite of what Dani is so maybe that has something to do with their whole charts but I know a lot of other people always make her a Pieces and I trust what other people say about zodiacs more than what I know about them because I really know NOTHING about them haha Nah I knew it was a road sign because of how heavy and hard it was- nah we have no bears where I live... I don't think we have many dangerous animals where I live... got a couple of badgers that can be pretty aggressive but that's about it we don't have much that is scary here or at least not in the little part of England I live. Having life threatening health issues has been hard and since having my spleen removed in January (that was the surgery I needed to try and fix the issue I had) things are even harder now because I have to take antibiotics for the rest of my life to stop me getting any infections because if I ever get a chest infection now or a really bad cold it can be really dangerous but I take it all in my stride and not drinking is just a way to make sure the antibiotics actually work properly and to make sure nothing happens to me... and like you said, means I don't do anything dumb too... haha drunken stories are the best I have been lost a few times when I've been drunk... and I don't think you do learn, I have siblings that are

like 40 and still do dumb shit... I know at 27 I am still doing dumb shit too I don't think I'll ever learn haha 😂 Its such an emotional roller coaster and honestly I was just devastated the first time I watched it... no TV show or movie has ever made me cry the way Bly Manor did when I first saw it and it still makes me cry now. I can cry just thinking about that last episode. I definitely mean it in a friendly way so I hope it comes across like that. Yeah the accent in Billy Elliot is a Geordie accent and its my favourite accent there are other accents around the north that are called different things. Yeah Lancashire is a county and again in Lancashire there are loads of different accents I can't really pinpoint Jamie's down to a city I just know it's Northern. I'm from Yorkshire but don't have a strong Yorkshire accent I just have a Northern accent, like people never believe I'm from the place I'm from because I don't sound like I am but you can definitely tell I'm northern... honestly there are so many accents in England... you can drive for two hours in any direction in England and the accent will change like two times at least it's insane... see a lot of people say that but I am not a HUGE fan of the northern accent and I think it's because I grew up there. I much prefer Dani's accent to Jamie's but like I said to me, Jamie just talks normal there is no accent really haha Yeah 4k words for it but it's all jumbled up it's not like a chronological story yet it's just all over the place haha but I hope I can get it all structured properly soon!! Awwh good I'm glad you're already interested in this medieval AU!! That makes sense you're resisting creating for it but I think it's so cool you did a face study for Dani and Jamie even if you didn't wanna finish it I think letting things cook for a while is always a good idea if you're not in the right headspace right away I had such a good weekend but I am so tired and today I had a busy day too celebrating my roommate's boyfriend's birthday so I've had so many days that have been so busy and right now I am just really to sleep haha!! Yeah definitely don't have favourites but I have spent more time with one of my nieces than the others simply because I always look after her if her mum and dad are working and I'm not... like until I start this new job I am looking after her for an hour every day after school while she waits for her mum and dad to finish work but I don't have favourites haha!! Thank you so much I hope you had a great weekend and that you have a great week too!!

[lesbiancarat]

Yay!! Im happy to hear that! Hopefully you can rest up well from your semester!

Ahh by that I meant like you know how kpop albums have concept pictures included? Thats how I view what the TTT magazines are just minus a physical disc cx sorry for the confusion!! Honestly this is all so new and interesting, seventeen never really done something like this. Yes we had mixtape songs but not in this way so promotion will be different. I saw wonwoo and mingyu are doing a song but that isn't related to spider so that means its like jun's and minghao's songs. Which makes things a bit confusing lol, not complaining since hey more content for us ^_^ but yeah guess we have yo see when the next solo actually is. Oh and seventeen coming back!! This is the kind of news I needed, I'm shocked they actually have their own usa site to buy stuff (sort of like nct has) because I know bts nor txt don't. Well bts USED to but that was before bighit decided to shut it down in favor for weverse which sadly I don't see the need for (plus call me old and weird but I don't trust buying stuff from apps? Like I feel a bit more comfy on a computer which Ik doesn't mean its not safer but meh, apps make me fishy lol) also Walmart is selling the albums, bless my family uses Walmart alot (like we used it last night xD) so maybe I can squeeze it in next time? Granted I want to wait for the concept photos first because while I do like a surprise, its also just nice knowing what the vibe is. Or be the complete opposite of what the mv will be about lol.

Ahh as much i was being hopeful and had her eat, sadly my bunny didn't make it =c she passed away on the weekend. She was a strong bunbun, she tried her best to make it out but alas she didn't win. I'm a bit happy my gut instinct told me to spend time with her because at least I got to be with her for her last hour. It kinda sucks because I feel slightly guilty because I couldn't get her the proper help so I feel like I let her down (especially after I found out from reviews the food I bought for her is actually not good for bunnies and can cause problems so I feel dumb) I shouldn't since I gave my bunny the best love I could give while caring for her so she wasn't in a bad place with me. Still can't shake that off, feels weird not waking up and seeing her around or like when I play games she isn't near me chilling. Healing takes time of course so I'm making myself busy with enjoying content from my favorite artists. I made a lil promise that I would finish a game that I played alot while she joined me (it sounds silly but I viewed it as like "our game" ya know?) For her in memory. Sorry for babbling about this bsksbsjd. Losing a pet isn't fun at all. I am so sorry about your cat *hugs you* im sure that furry buddy was well loved!! If I may ask of course, do you have a favorite memory of your cat? Like any funny moment or cute ones?

ahhh ok i get what you mean! it will definitely be interesting to see how it all plays out since SVT haven't done a project like this before. I'm really curious how spread out all the solos are going to be. esp with a cb coming up it seems unlikely we'll get a TTT solo any time soon? but then again SVT are always surprising us these days. but i wonder if they'll come out just whenever a member happens to prepare it or if it's all scheduled out at semi regular intervals 🤔

but yeah it looks like bittersweet is part of the power of love project as opposed to TTT... it's getting complicated real fast! and yeah SVT is definitely expanding into/focusing more on US promotions now... it will be interesting to see how it all plays out! but i totally get what u mean about preferring to buy things on the computer it's funny how that is sometimes djfkgj i had been thinking about preordering the other day since it seemed like we wouldn't be able to pick the version we want anyway, but now that there are some shops that let you i definitely want to wait and see the teaser photos. every day i keep expecting them to start releasing but we get a different surprise instead OTL

I'm sorry to hear about your bunny :( but it's good that you were able to spend time with her at the end, I'm sure it made her feel safe to have someone who cared for her by her side rather than being alone <3 try not to feel too guilty about it, since what's done is done and there's no way to know for sure if it was the sole reason for her failing health. it's good that you're able to recognize and work through your grief, and i think finishing that game is a great way to do that and to honor her memory :')

and thanks, we lost her a little while ago now so luckily thinking about her is more nostalgic than sad. but as for a funny story Riley was a gremlin. she got up on the counters and kitchen table a lot when we weren't looking. she also liked eating paper and we had to be careful where we left things bc once she ate my sister's homework. which, ok, she didn't eat the entire paper but she did eat a corner of it and sort of ripped and crinkled the rest. i can't remember if my sister turned it in like that or if she had to redo it djgkgj

here's a picture of the frame/shadowbox thing my mom made for her after she died with photos, her collar (which she hated and hardly ever wore dhfk), and her favorite toy ;-;

also u didn't ask but here's my other cat liberty from a few days ago :P (she's getting older and has arthritis and kidney issues but she's still alive and kicking!)