#OOps I maylor'd

[guiltypleasurefandomface]

5+1 - phonebook edition

This was inspired by this post so thank you to @stesichoreanpalinode and @a-froger-epic for the inspiration!

TW for mentioning Freddie’s death!

1) Brian’s dashing between his room and the shower because they’re running late and Roger’s decided it’s best they put the food order in to pick up on their way rather than go in and wait for it to be freshly made whilst they’re there. Roger knocks on the door and shouts to be heared over the noise of the shower.

Roger: What’s the number for the chinese place? Brian: It’s uh, look for the menu, it’ll be on the phone table Roger: I did, there’s no chinese menus there Brian: Oh. It’ll be in my phonebook then! My one, I mean Roger: The green book? Brian: That’s the one Roger: Alright! Roger: Brian, why am I in your phonebook as Roger Mitch Baker? Brian: Why were you snooping? Roger: Wanted to see if you had any interesting numbers in there. Brian: Did you call the chinese place? Roger: Yeah. It’ll ready by the time we get there

2) The hepatitus crisis. The nurses have said it might be best to “get the family around”.

Miami: We need to call Brian’s parents Roger: They haven’t really talked much... you know Miami: I know. Do you want me to call them? Roger: ... No. I’ll do it. Freddie: I can do it darling. You can stay with Brian and I’ll- Roger: No. I know where his phone book is.

Brian: Mum said you called them. Roger: Yeah. Was that the right thing to do? Brian: Yeah... Thak you. Roger: You’d do it for me. Brian: ... Roger: ... I saw I’m now just plain Rog in your phone book Brian: What have I told you about snooping?

~

3) They got to number 1 and survived a broken lift, and now they have loads of people who want to talk to them. They’ve been given cards of various music industry people, some journalists who seem like the good ones in the job to share their love of music, not the gutter press constantly implying Freddie’s on his way out of the band and Roger’s too beautiful to actually be a drummer... Brian makes use of their night in to transfer some of the cards he has in his pocket in to his phonebook, so he doesn’t lose any of the numbers he wants to keep.

Roger: Who’s Mike Hall? Brian: The guitar engineer from Guildford. Roger: Hm. Why are you writing his number down? Freddie: Jealous, Roggie? Roger gives Freddie the finger. Brian: He wanted to talk about Red. He wants to improve his own home made guitar. Roger: Hm. Roger snatches the notebook. Brian: Give it back, you child. Roger: Roger and Dom? Am I seriously in your phonebook as Roger and Dom? Brian: You do live together, Rog. Roger: Well yeah but you don’t call Dom... do you? Brian: Yes, Rog, we regularly complain about you every saturday morning. Give it back Roger: Yeah but, you don’t really do you? Roger hands the phone book back. Brian: Of course not. I’ve got enough problems, I don’t need Chrissie thinking I’m having some sort of phone affair with your girlfriend Roger: ... Well that’s not what I meant but thanks. Fine.

~~

4) Roger marries and then divorces Dom. Brian finalises his divorce to Chrissie. Brian takes the time to clear out his phone book, it is after all falling to pieces and old and not all numbers are relevant anymore.

By the time he gets to the T’s, he’s gone a bit stir crazy. He’d already written down Freddie in his book as God Messenger Freddie and Jim and cats (+J+J+P+J etc).

He writes down The Best Little Drummer Boy in England +Mobile - +Car Phone -

A few months later when he needs to look up the number of a plumber, he’s put on hold and gets bored whilst waiting so flicks through his phone book. He finds the word “little” crossed out and “looking” written just above it in familiar handwriting, in red pen. And... he can’t bring himself to not agree with that. He laughs and nods and closes the phone book.

~~

5) Roger has a new wife. A whole new house. Brian had both of these things too, now he just has the house. He had a whole new divorce after a whole new affair, and he supposes he’s only got himself to blame. But, he also has a new phone book so... no that’s just as bleak.

He couldn’t bare to not include Freddie in it so his information is copied over, John’s, Crystal’s, most of the other Roadie’s because more memorial shows are planned. Chrissie’s, Chrissie’s mum’s too. A lot of numbers over the last few years were put in where there was space, 4 of them Roger at the holiday homes, with no attention to alphabetical order, so he tries to correct that as he goes along.

He goes back to the T’s for Roger’s name and number. He doesn’t think too much of pang in his chest when he writes “Roger and Debbie”.

He vows this to be the last time he ever writes in any of Roger’s new numbers in a bloody phone book. It was ridiculous how often he’d had to do it over the years. If Roger gets a new phone, or a new house, or a new wife, then Roger would just have to find some way to answer the phone at the number Brian has in his phone book, or Roger will have to be the one to ring Brian.

~

+1

Roger and Adam are in the kitchen of the penthouse suite, it’s breakfast time and it’s their day off. Adam is eating a fruit salad, Roger has an empty plate in front of him and he’s glaring at his iPhone.

Roger: There’s something wrong with this bloody thing, again. Adam, smirking: You know, they make these special phones now, for er, the older market. Roger: Shut it you. Adam: Big buttons. Roger: It just won’t ring out. Adam: Even a little button on the back to call your emergency contact, incase you’ve fallen and you can’t get up. Roger: We can fire you Adam: You Couuuulllld... But you won’t.. Roger: Brian! You’re the apple fan boy, whats up with this fucking thing? Brian comes out of his room, loose tshirt, loose pyjama pants, bed head with curls that are still flat on one side from sleeping on them. Brian: What fucking thing? Adam: This sounds like a conversation not fit for my ears... Roger: You can either be a help or a hindrance, which one do you want to choose? Adam: I think hindrance. I like the sound of that word Roger: Brian, what’s wrong with my phone Brian, sitting down and getting an apple from the fruit bowl: I don’t know, Rog, what is wrong with your phone? Roger: It won’t let me ring anyone Brian: Let me see. Roger gives him his phone Brian: Hm.... Brian pokes around the phone. Brian: Strange. The settings are all off, I don’t know. Did you piss off Apple somehow? Roger: Probably. Do I need to send it back? Brian: Let me play with it a bit. Do you want to borrow mine? Roger: If that’s alright. I just want to text the kids good morning. You know. Dad stuff. Brian takes out his phone and passes it to Roger. Brian: Here you go. Roger: Thanks, love.

Brian resets the phone a few times, messes with the settings, frowns at it, leaves it on the table to do it’s thing whilst he eats a healthy breakfast, following his apple with some peanut butter on toast, but eventually the signals back up, the phone’s on data and, with no way of knowing what was wrong with it, the phone was now fixed.

Brian picked up the phone and rung his own phone. The phone in Roger’s hand rings out, and the little screen changes to a picture of Brian and Roger together, with the name “Mr Husband” written over it. Adam: That is still so cute. It’s so 7th Grade but it’s cute. Roger answers the phone: You fixed it then? Brian, on Roger’s phone: Yes Roger: Okay. Thank you. Brian: You’re welcome, love. Roger: I’m going to hang up now Brian laughs: Okay. Roger hangs up and Brian hands back Roger’s phone back to Roger, and Roger hands Brian’s phone back to Brian. Adam: You know, I almost miss the fit Roger would pitch everytime he saw his name was Santa Claus in your phone. Roger: Oh, I can pitch a fit over anything if you’d like me to Brian: It’s true, he would. Let me tell you the fit he almost pitched when he saw me write Rog and Dom in my phonebook. I never did figure out what that was about... Adam didn’t answer, but his sudden coughing fit did sort of sound the word “territory issues”.