#OH NO THE FORKNIGHT

[mrstick-yaoi]

Peppibots 🤝 Forknights 🤝 Peshino

Being silly underrated little guys

[untowardsthoughts]

i wanna make a dndads thingy for the 'Oh Yes, They Both Reached For The Gun' edit trend on tiktok . but i Dont Wanna Draw That Many Guns

i do have a mental list of a good couple of gun-related instances during seasons 1, 2 and 3;

- darryl during forknights

- glenn shooting several birds

- lark aiming thru normal at dood

- grant sniping terry jr

- link with the human gun

- darryl shooting chekhov's gun beside willy

- young hero at the training range

- terry jr shooting at the teens

- glenn grabbing the gun from mercedes

- francis shooting shane's leg off

- kimonwan with the rifle

- tony getting shot through the chest

- pedro shooting the mafia man in the car

- hermie getting shot

[fisbybaconey]

Oh sht fisby's back with her au nonsense again-

yes yeas time to draw our beloved protagonist italian, Peppino Spaghetti!!!

Quickly changin it to pizza cutter lol (sketches below)

mmm pizza soul gem

Also me tryin to pick what hes gonna say about his wish

In my AU, pizzaface(or totino? Idk who's tge best to take kyubey's role) came to peppino when it was the day he must pay his rent and is fking broke (poor man)

Also the tower doesn't exist, but the pizza entity (cheeselime, forknight, etc.) already exist in these earth and live a normal live.

Finnaly we have name for this AU, its Peppino Magica (dang gurl thatza lazy name)

(How tf this angry italian who have anxiety didnt turn into a witch yet? Probably plot armor)

This au still a concept yet, i dont have complete story for this, that maybe angsty asf-

up next: local gnome-sized chef pulls out some homura sht

[forkknight]

Have i told you how much i adore forknights. I love you jack.

oh! i...

i dont know how to respond to that

[chaotichyperfixations]

Hello hi, today im here to rant about my forknights!! uh, everythings under the cut if your interested!!!

First of all, Jeremy Asiago!

Hes a nervous, cowardly guy whos doing his best! You may be wondering, why become a knight if your.. well, a coward. Its because his father practically guilt-tripped and pressured him into it. “You come from a long line of heroes, your brothers already so successful, why dont you follow in your ancestors tracks? Make this family proud.”

Moving away from flaws and such, hes a good guy! Also decently strong- hes pretty cool once you get to know him!

NEXT UP! Jerry Asiago!

Jeremys big brother; hes much more extroverted, energetic, and charismatic. Also a bit more egotistical and doesnt really know when to quit. He joined without anyone elses urging and is a star knight. Maybe even the best. He is also pretty cool, but can be insensitive. He loves Jeremy dearly and constantly tries to help and protect him.

Last but not least, Reynold Muenster!

He is condescending, insensitive, and kind of an asshole. Oh, have I mentioned hes actually a ghost? He is Jeremy and Jerrys grandpa, and he died saving citizens and such from a raging fire. I actually havent fully finished his lore and stuff, but im working on it!

oh i forgot his good traits! Fearless, strong, skilled, and clever. He was a very good knight, just like Jerry; Hell, maybe even better.

[noisester]

ANONYMOUS: your Noiseys are sooooo cute! Do they have names?

He raised a finger and opened his mouth as if to say something very obvious, but ended up with a brain full of static. D. Did he give them names when he was mass-producing them? He forgot. That felt like something he'd do for The Funny™️, although he was so focused on creating Italian suffering machines that the idea probably hasn't crossed his mind?

He didn't really intend them to make a name outside of their target audience either. They were literally designed by yours truly to be as obnoxious as possible. Oh, those Forknights are making Peppino's journey harder, but you know what's MORE annoying than a Forknight?? A Noisier Forknight!

And then his girlfriend just. Adopted one? Named it, dyed it pink and everything, so much so that it's starting to stray a bit from its programming? Come to think of it, a handful of his Noiseys learned to convey their own 'personality' now (either that or there's a fault in their circuit board or something). There's one behind him that's walking in circles next to the one that's lying on its 'back' staring endlessly at the ceiling. It's odd. They were entirely mechanical but looked... much more complex?

...Darn, now he's wondering if he should start naming them. Ah look, there's an unfinished one sitting on his desk. He was working on it before Fake decided it wanted to be the centre of attention in today's hellscape.

Noise gently grabbed the Noisey by its sides, assessing it for a little while before shifting his attention to the other. Fasten your seatbelt, folks. You are about to witness a father naming his newborn child.

"This is my son, Bogos Binted." What

[charmspoint]

IGNORE THAT FIRST ONE I GOT A BETTER IDEA - STANLEY GETTING MAD BC XENO GOT CANCELLED ON STONETWITTER

Drabble 4 Prompt 5! I'm letting you go ahead of the line cuz stanologs are generally easy and fast to write and want you to know you are the funniest person alive

I cannat believe I have to come on here, on this site for twelve year olds that haven’t seen sky in centuries and not because they were petrified, but something has come to my attention recently and I’d rather be damned by god himself than stay silent.

So I hear, I hear all of you fucking children that can barely tie your goddamn shoes, you Velcro wearing toddlers, are raging and raving that my man, the sun of my life, the song to my heart, the powder to by bomb, should be facing some kind of ‘just trial’ for his ‘war crimes’

Okay so maybe he wanted to rule the world like a cartoon villain, do you not got yourself a man with ambition? Maybe this generation wouldn’t know what that is but in my time, in my time we didn’t settle for men that rotted on the couch playing your little ‘forknights’ and what not

Is he gonna getcha anywhere in life hell to the god no, he gonna getcha to next level but my man, air in my lungs, flame to my cigarette, oh he actually has dreams. Practical, real man dreams and sure maybe I don’t understand him every time he speaks but I was raised right and I damn well support him

What are you saying that if your pardner wanted to take over the world, that if he decided to kill some annoying children that were milling around his yard like nasty bugs, you wouldn’t support him? Is your relationship made of silly string or military grade aluminum?

Do you not feel shame? Do you not feel shame for your resolve, your love being so weak? Look at your man, look at your man right now and tell him you wouldn’t support him if he tried to make himself dictator of the world, see how that makes him feel, see how long that relationship lasts

I swear to dear lord in my time relationships were all about supporting each other and helping each other be the best version of ourselves. If the love of my life wants to be an evil dictator than by gods will and my gun so he will be, our relationship isn’t just based on ‘aesthetics’ and ‘being morally upright’

And another thing and this really lights my fuse, what guts do you all have to make fun of my love’s hair while trying to ‘cancel him for his crimes’. See this ring on my finger? Do you know what that is? Yes its military grade aluminum but also a free pass to scold him for his style choices. Do you have a ring? I didn’t think so

Do you think old age won’t come for you too? Do you think you’ll reach your late twenties with a full head? That you won’t one day feel the pain of your body and genetics turning against you, making you try ridiculous things to manufacture your lost youth? That you will be exempt from the cruel passage of time?

Well you got another thing coming because this hunk of rock hosts about five people and a paperclip and by miracle of our resurging technology I know where all of you live.

And guess what

Hair clippers had already been reinvented

[This tweets have been sponsored by manscaped]

[kineticallyanywhere]

So. Dndads. Best dad? Best ‘saving the kids’ arc? Best anchor arc? Worst arc? Who had the most development?

oh man so there's "best" and there's "favorite" which feel like two different things. Both are gonna be subjective, but "best" refers to what's fitting the definition of "good" and "favorite" is what I will take for all it's trashy corners because it hits all the right trope buttons for me

Best Dad: Darryl. Henry's a close second, but his baggage holds him back. Darryl is affirming to his kid, they have a relationship based on both love and respect, they're actively adjusting boundaries and learning to listen to each other. Does it help that Darryl came from the most stable home and has the least complex relationship with his kid? Absolutely! But Darryl was even able to dad the twins. That's a feat all on it's own. Favorite Dad: Henry. He's just... so much???? And just always trying to be a good person??? He likes hugs and complimenting his friends??? You all most know I'm the biggest sucker for that. Sure every other dad fact is a crime against mankind and an embarrassment to our species but he's only 75% (give or take) human anyway! ...his cool backstory is like 1000 bonus points. [Slaps hood of Henry] you could fit so many AUs in this

Best Kid-Saver Arc: Tower of Terry. It's got the hahas. It's got the tears. It's got subverting Anthony's plans and then picking on him relentlessly about it. This arc contains multitudes Favorite Kid-Saver Arc: Lord of Chaos. Cause its freaking hysterical. Don't get me wrong, Tower of Terry and Forknights are close in the running. You guys KNOW I ADORE Tower of Terry. Obsessed over it for two months. But Lord of Chaos is what really hooked me in the first place and I could listen to that thing on repeat its just so funny

Best Anchor Arc: Football. In terms of having a structure, being hysterical, having a clear and developing emotional arc, and a full sense of closure at the end? Football, hands down. Favorite Anchor Arc: Oakvale. You may be sensing a pattern here, but this one was actually really hard. There are parts of this arc that drag and I know a lot of my enjoyment of it just comes from the Drama and the Lore and the Beary-Warning-Henry-30-Episodes-Ago-That-If-He's-Not-Careful-They-Could-End-Reality-Hope-You-Don't-Forget-About-That-Subplot-For-The-Mental-Health-Metaphor-It's-A-Spectacular-Metaphor-But-He's-Really-Not-Lying-This-Time

Worst Arc: This is really really really hard. Also the most subjective on all fronts so I'm just combining "worst" and "least favorite". Because every arc has something going for it. And I hate that I'm sitting here trying to decide between Battle Axe of Hatred and Foster Dad (which I guess is what I'm calling Jodie's arc, after the trial ends), because they're both "Glenn arcs". Glenn Close had development (fight me*) and both of these arcs got something done, but... Y'know, I think I gotta go with BattleAxe. This doesn't mean I think it's bad! It did what it was supposed to do, it established Glenn and Nick's relationship dynamic! Glenn didn't have to grow or change in his first arc, Henry certainly didn't! Ron was ahead of the curve! Battleaxe, I think, suffered by the same moment that made it iconic, and I wouldn't change it for the world, it's just not an arc I revisit much. Foster Dad was incredibly long and kinda all over the place, but every individual episode was a riot and Jimmy was a delight. Every other arc is helped by either having an off-the-wall premise or something really emotionally potent. BattleAxe is honestly pretty straight forward DnD. And it gave us Paeden I would trade it for nothing every arc in this show is fantastic.

Most Development: Darryl Everybody developed (fight me*, episode 1 Glenn would not say any of the things episode 68 pt2 Glenn said), but two of the hardest things for a person to do are acknowledge their own insecurities, take on perspectives outside of their own, and ask for help. And Darryl did all of those things. Every single one of these dads has come so far. None of them are who they were when the show started and I'm so proud. I land the pin on Darryl specifically because I feel like Henry and Glenn still have some work to do and Ron kinda had a head start. Not to say we aren't all improving and changing constantly, but in terms of moving from one major stage to the other, Darryl is much more polished off.

tl;dr yes

*but like you don't have to. If you don't agree that's fine

[mikesold2017naccountdontvis-blog]

read important

Oh hello there! My name is Nern. I'm considered the greatest historian of our time... I've gathered a wealth of knowledge about Olathe and what happened here. Many tales... Would you like to hear? Hmm... I wish you were more enthusiastic... Oh well, I'll tell you anyway. Let's see.... Oh right! It all started with what I like to call, THE FLASH. I was sitting with my wife, god rest her soul, sipping on sweet lemon tea. I believe it was homemade by my sweet wife, God rest her soul. Or wait... Maybe she bought it from the store in a bottle. You know, like a plastic bottle? Well hold on now, that would be ridiculous to buy a bottle of sweet lemon tea, then transfer the contents into a glass. Why not just drink it from the bottle? I guess maybe so she could put ice in the glass? But then again, making tea homemade would be just as time consuming, if not more! That sneaky bitch... Anyway, I'll save that story for later! So, I'm sitting on my porch drinking sweet lemon tea. From a glass of course, ho ho! When suddenly... A great strangeness fills my body... Something was wrong... I've lived many years, and I've never felt something like this before. Do you know what it was? Yup! It was my rocking chair! That wooden son of a gun stopped rocking! So I looked down and realized a little rock had gotten caught beneath my chair! A rock under my rocking chair! What a day! I decided it was time for bed, I had had a little bit too much excitement for one day! Hoho! I slid into my jammies, brushed my teeth, and said my prayers. As I was climbing into bed I noticed my wife, God rest her soul, brushing her hair in the bathroom. As I peered across the hall my body swelled up with emotion... "Why can't I be married to an attractive woman?" "Is it me?" "My bank account?" I'm a tall guy, I workout forty minutes a week... Is that not enough? Now my neighbor at the time, Tom Forknight, was very short. His wife, Karen Forknight-Plateburger... Yeah, one of THOSE women. Well, she was more attractive than my wife. I'd say she was a soft six, whereas my wife was a hard four. What's the deal? I thought women liked tall men? Why was Karen with him? Anyway my horse of a wife, God rest her soul, crawled into bed next to me. She decided to leave the bedside light on so she could read her book. It was one of her romance novels again... Give me a break... As if I don't already feel inadequate enough... Not only do I have to compete with Tom, now I have to deal with these fictional hunks! Ay yai yai! At this point I had already suppressed the urges of intimacy, I rolled over and tried to sleep. Her bedside light was only of minor annoyance. I was able to drift off... Then I woke up to a big flash of light. That's about it. I can tell by the way you're walking away that you don't want to leave... If you really want to hear another story I'll tell you. Once upon a hot summer night. Sometime in July... Was it July? My local grocery store sells really good eggs in July. I don't know why. Do chickens operate better in heat? Fireworks maybe? I don't know. I don't want to get off topic. Point is, the eggs that Summer were marvelous! Anyway, my wife and I, God rest her soul, went to a BBQ that night. It was held at Dale Spooner's house. Well, his backyard... Conny Spooner doesn't want people in her home, I think she's just an uptight bitch. So at this BBQ I see none other than... That's right, Tom Forknight... Now earlier in the day wife, God rest her soul, had made potato salad for the BBQ. Personally I hate potato salad, I'm a mashed kind of fellow. Hoho! So I sat in the TV room avoiding her till the BBQ. Once we were at the party, I made sure to distance myself from my dumb potato bitch wife. God rest her soul, I just didn't want anyone to think I would associate with someone that would bring a potato salad! Anyway, Tom and his above mediocre wife were already there. And get this, they brought a fruit salad! With whipped cream! The nerve of those Forknights! Needless to say I gave my wife, God rest her soul, a couple choice words About whipped cream! Versus potato salad! God dammit! Son of a bitch! A real tongue lashing! Geez, you're kind of smothering me. I'll talk to you later.?

[thepizzalovingturtle]

@theanontrain and anyone who is awake to listen.

Oh hello there! My name is Nern. I'm considered the greatest historian of our time... I've gathered a wealth of knowledge about Olathe and what happened here. Many tales... Would you like to hear? Hmm... I wish you were more enthusiastic... Oh well, I'll tell you anyway. Let's see.... Oh right! It all started with what I like to call, THE FLASH. I was sitting with my wife, god rest her soul, sipping on sweet lemon tea. I believe it was homemade by my sweet wife, God rest her soul. Or wait... Maybe she bought it from the store in a bottle. You know, like a plastic bottle? Well hold on now, that would be ridiculous to buy a bottle of sweet lemon tea, then transfer the contents into a glass. Why not just drink it from the bottle? I guess maybe so she could put ice in the glass? But then again, making tea homemade would be just as time consuming, if not more! That sneaky bitch... Anyway, I'll save that story for later! So, I'm sitting on my porch drinking sweet lemon tea. From a glass of course, ho ho! When suddenly... A great strangeness fills my body... Something was wrong... I've lived many years, and I've never felt something like this before. Do you know what it was? Yup! It was my rocking chair! That wooden son of a gun stopped rocking! So I looked down and realized a little rock had gotten caught beneath my chair! A rock under my rocking chair! What a day! I decided it was time for bed, I had had a little bit too much excitement for one day! Hoho! I slid into my jammies, brushed my teeth, and said my prayers. As I was climbing into bed I noticed my wife, God rest her soul, brushing her hair in the bathroom. As I peered across the hall my body swelled up with emotion...

"Why can't I be married to an attractive woman?"

"Is it me?"

"My bank account?"

I'm a tall guy, I workout forty minutes a week... Is that not enough? Now my neighbor at the time, Tom Forknight, was very short. His wife, Karen Forknight-Plateburger... Yeah, one of THOSE women. Well, she was more attractive than my wife. I'd say she was a soft six, whereas my wife was a hard four. What's the deal? I thought women liked tall men? Why was Karen with him? Anyway my horse of a wife, God rest her soul, crawled into bed next to me. She decided to leave the bedside light on so she could read her book. It was one of her romance novels again... Give me a break... As if I don't already feel inadequate enough... Not only do I have to compete with Tom, now I have to deal with these fictional hunks! Ay yai yai! At this point I had already suppressed the urges of intimacy, I rolled over and tried to sleep. Her bedside light was only of minor annoyance. I was able to drift off... Then I woke up to a big flash of light. That's about it. I can tell by the way you're walking away that you don't want to leave... If you really want to hear another story I'll tell you. Once upon a hot summer night. Sometime in July... Was it July? My local grocery store sells really good eggs in July. I don't know why. Do chickens operate better in heat? Fireworks maybe? I don't know. I don't want to get off topic. Point is, the eggs that Summer were marvelous! Anyway, my wife and I, God rest her soul, went to a BBQ that night. It was held at Dale Spooner's house.

Well, his backyard... Conny Spooner doesn't want people in her home, I think she's just an uptight bitch. So at this BBQ I see none other than... That's right, Tom Forknight... Now earlier in the day wife, God rest her soul, had made potato salad for the BBQ. Personally I hate potato salad, I'm a mashed kind of fellow. Hoho! So I sat in the TV room avoiding her till the BBQ. Once we were at the party, I made sure to distance myself from my dumb potato bitch wife. God rest her soul, I just didn't want anyone to think I would associate with someone that would bring a potato salad! Anyway, Tom and his above mediocre wife were already there. And get this, they brought a fruit salad! With whipped cream! The nerve of those Forknights! Needless to say I gave my wife, God rest her soul, a couple choice words About whipped cream! Versus potato salad! God dammit! Son of a bitch! A real tongue lashing! Geez, you're kind of smothering me. I'll talk to you later.

[1halfcooldude-blog]

Oh hello there! My name is Nern. I'm considered the greatest historian of our time... I've gathered a wealth of knowledge about Olathe and what happened here. Many tales... Would you like to hear? Hmm... I wish you were more enthusiastic... Oh well, I'll tell you anyway. Let's see.... Oh right! It all started with what I like to call, THE FLASH. I was sitting with my wife, god rest her soul, sipping on sweet lemon tea. I believe it was homemade by my sweet wife, God rest her soul. Or wait... Maybe she bought it from the store in a bottle. You know, like a plastic bottle? Well hold on now, that would be ridiculous to buy a bottle of sweet lemon tea, then transfer the contents into a glass. Why not just drink it from the bottle? I guess maybe so she could put ice in the glass? But then again, making tea homemade would be just as time consuming, if not more! That sneaky bitch... Anyway, I'll save that story for later! So, I'm sitting on my porch drinking sweet lemon tea. From a glass of course, ho ho! When suddenly... A great strangeness fills my body... Something was wrong... I've lived many years, and I've never felt something like this before. Do you know what it was? Yup! It was my rocking chair! That wooden son of a gun stopped rocking! So I looked down and realized a little rock had gotten caught beneath my chair! A rock under my rocking chair! What a day! I decided it was time for bed, I had had a little bit too much excitement for one day! Hoho! I slid into my jammies, brushed my teeth, and said my prayers. As I was climbing into bed I noticed my wife, God rest her soul, brushing her hair in the bathroom. As I peered across the hall my body swelled up with emotion... "Why can't I be married to an attractive woman?" "Is it me?" "My bank account?" I'm a tall guy, I workout forty minutes a week... Is that not enough? Now my neighbor at the time, Tom Forknight, was very short. His wife, Karen Forknight-Plateburger... Yeah, one of THOSE women. Well, she was more attractive than my wife. I'd say she was a soft six, whereas my wife was a hard four. What's the deal? I thought women liked tall men? Why was Karen with him? Anyway my horse of a wife, God rest her soul, crawled into bed next to me. She decided to leave the bedside light on so she could read her book. It was one of her romance novels again... Give me a break... As if I don't already feel inadequate enough... Not only do I have to compete with Tom, now I have to deal with these fictional hunks! Ay yai yai! At this point I had already suppressed the urges of intimacy, I rolled over and tried to sleep. Her bedside light was only of minor annoyance. I was able to drift off... Then I woke up to a big flash of light. That's about it. I can tell by the way you're walking away that you don't want to leave... If you really want to hear another story I'll tell you. Once upon a hot summer night. Sometime in July... Was it July? My local grocery store sells really good eggs in July. I don't know why. Do chickens operate better in heat? Fireworks maybe? I don't know. I don't want to get off topic. Point is, the eggs that Summer were marvelous! Anyway, my wife and I, God rest her soul, went to a BBQ that night. It was held at Dale Spooner's house. Well, his backyard... Conny Spooner doesn't want people in her home, I think she's just an uptight bitch. So at this BBQ I see none other than... That's right, Tom Forknight... Now earlier in the day wife, God rest her soul, had made potato salad for the BBQ. Personally I hate potato salad, I'm a mashed kind of fellow. Hoho! So I sat in the TV room avoiding her till the BBQ. Once we were at the party, I made sure to distance myself from my dumb potato bitch wife. God rest her soul, I just didn't want anyone to think I would associate with someone that would bring a potato salad! Anyway, Tom and his above mediocre wife were already there. And get this, they brought a fruit salad! With whipped cream! The nerve of those Forknights! Needless to say I gave my wife, God rest her soul, a couple choice words About whipped cream! Versus potato salad! God dammit! Son of a bitch! A real tongue lashing! Geez, you're kind of smothering me. I'll talk to you later.