#NtS | Note to Self

[umgeorge]

george russell and lewis hamilton during their press conference on media day, spain - june 20, 2024

[sealush]

My friend/roommate got engaged today. It's making me realize I am growing up. Things are happening. It feels like I don't have control over growing up anymore. It's making me want to rejoice each and every moment. At the same time, I am happy where I am with my bare minimum. Praying to God for a job offer and stable mental health. At the moment, in my life, I don't want a boy or a ring. I am not ready for love. I want more things happening for my immigrant life. 🙏🙏

Oct 26, Sat, 10:46 PM

[yther]

fatal error

Oh shit.

All the therapy and support saying "do it for your future self" has gained absolutely no traction in my mind.

Because... I hate my future self. ! ???

Uhm.

...? why would I dislike a future me more than my current self?? 🤔

what. (besides jokingly: resentment over them failing to make a time machine, etc to prevent this from being my Life now??)

Do I literally blame my(future?)self for all of this? Who am I fighting against?

self Q's

[rigelmejo]

I heard the Inner French podcast is designed to be easier to understand in the earlier episodes, then harder later, and how a few people have gone through it: just going as far as they understand, restarting from the beginning then going as far as they understand and that's FARTHER, etc.

I did look up Inner French podcast a while ago, and I could understand some episodes. Which was exciting to me because I am generally *or I should say was* really bad at listening to French and understanding. I say was because I stumbled on some literary analysis videos of novels in French, when trying to find an audiobook in French, and the analysis was understandable to me - way more than I thought it would be.

Anyway I think a fun test, to check out how much "permanent damage" I would have from prior explicit study of French (like reading a ton before I knew how French sounded) actually is permanent. Automatic Language Growth insists that if you speak before you have a good mental model of the language (before 800-1000 hours) you have a permanently damaged accent that will never fully improve. Dreaming Spanish similarly took that assumption, and suggests if you start talking at 600 hours of input, then you may ingrain some permanent bad grammar and pronunciation when you talk but it will be 'understandable' and if you wait 800-1000 hours that's going to leave you with a pronunciation much closer to a native speaker.

I personally think... this aspect of both approaches gets a lot of people pissed, and a lot of people disagree with these approaches in this regard. Plenty of Dreaming Spanish people speak early (100-200 hours) and keep speaking, not enough DS learners have shared yet to really make a good comparison for how the ones who speak early compare to the ones who wait to speak, in terms of final speaking ability and pronunciation after 1500 hours. ALG has some examples of students at AUA Thai who spoke early, who had worse accents than students who waited to speak. But also... so many kids learned English explicitly in school growing up, and I've met a LOT of people with great English pronunciation when they speak. Yes, some had less clear accents. But there's SO MANY students that learned English explicitly for years, in classes that made them talk and write, and still ended up with good pronunciation.

So clearly explicit learners CAN develop a good pronunciation, it's just a question of HOW to help a student develop a good pronunciation in explicit learning? (Which I'm sure there's been many studies about... I'll look into it more). I would guess one way is shadowing, which my Japanese class had us do as beginners, and I do think helped a lot (also I've seen a few studies of students before/after shadowing for X time and grading the pronunciation so it's been tested). With ALG and DS, their solution to helping a student have a good pronunciation is to have the student wait until they have a broad foundation in the language.

I guess... I guess it wouldn't really be a test of if there's "permanent damage" to my pronunciation, since that's broad and I personally think it's just as possible there is no permanent damage.

I guess... more of a test of "does just LISTENING more improve pronunciation" for me? No shadowing drills (or other activities I don't know and need to look into), just listening a lot (100-200 hours?), and then seeing if pronunciation has improved.

Okay note to future me, test:

Record myself saying something (maybe reading one of my books)

Listen to all of Inner French (or as far as I can get), maybe listen to Le Français Par la Méthode Nature since I'd like to reread the book anyway.

Record myself saying something.

See if there's any noticeable improvement.

[aajjks]

Desperado (m)

synopsis. There was no time for intimacy and jungkook learned the hard way.

warnings: MÄTÜRE THÈMÈS. YÄNDÊRÊ, DÄRK, mêntǐöns öf prẽgnâncy, mêntǐöns öf älmöst dy-ng dürïng chïldbïrth, obsěssïvè bëhävïöür, pössessïvênêss, jk ïs cräy cräy, cryïng, smüt (förëpläy), kïssïng, lüsty jk, he ïs jǔst hörny änd w-nts tö fück lmäo

note. I understand that this kind of a topic can be a sensitive topic for many of us, pregnancy is not something everyone is comfy reading about so viewer discretion is advised!

He never wanted you to get pregnant.

This was not supposed to happen,

Jungkook couldn’t help but glare at the tiny little sleeping human in the white crib as he sat right infront of it.

The baby’s chubby cheeks huffed as he took little breaths, a little hue of pink sprinkled over them.

how could he sleep so peacefully after ruining Jungkook’s life! Jungkook bit the inside of his cheeks in jealousy.

This tiny little brat has already taken you away from him. You were Jungkook’s only happiness but now ever since you gave birth, you are obsessed with this little devil.

You have forgotten about Jungkook completely. He who was the reason you got pregnant in the first place!

Jungkook regretted doing that… why can’t he ever control his lust when it comes to you, and now his lust was the result of the baby who was sleeping so peacefully right infront of him.

And now, here he is after so many sleepless nights to watch over the baby while you were busy showering. You are really paranoid and possessive when it comes to the child and it’s safety.

And you have made jungkook promised that he’s going to watch over the baby while you tend to your business.

Jungkook’s head hurts so much. When was the last time you guys had sex? He can’t even remember. It’s all gone now.

You have been snatched away from him and he can’t do anything! Jungkook will never understand why you wanted to have this baby anyways?!? You guys together were already perfect.

And not to forget that you both are still so young, and there was no need to hurry.

This child is a devil and you fail to see that! Having this baby almost killed you, your fragile self was not ready for it, Jungkook hated him so much, so fucking much.

But you have always so stubborn.

Your maternal side was something that Jungkook used to adore, because you were always so loving and caring towards him.

But now? Now that you were an actual mother, you completely neglect your boyfriend. Jungkook huffs in annoyance as the thoughts run through his mind.

You always wanted to become a mom.

His glare never left the baby who was soundly asleep, it was unfair that how much he looked like Jungkook, anyone could tell that that was his son.

It was undeniable. The baby even stole his face!

Jungkook hates his child so much!

Jungkook hated children, he always despised the idea of someone else coming in between you, you were always supposed to be his and only his!

Jungkook is a needy person and he knows that… he needs your love and attention like a little child, he is addicted to you, and now that his addiction isn’t being satisfied.

He is starting to lose his sanity.

“Y/N…” Jungkook whines into your warmth as he feels your fingers scratch his head, his warm breath hitting your tummy as his hands grabs wrap around it, his legs are resting onto yours as the man is on top you, laying so peacefully and your scent is calming his mind and your touch feels so good, His eyes are closed as he snuggles deeper and deeper into you.

Your hair is still wet, and you smell so fresh.

God… you smell so good, how much he’s missed this… you.

“Y/N…. I miss you so much..” You hear Jungkook speak in a broken tone, like he is so tired. “You don’t pay me any attention anymore, you don’t care for me anymore…” he cries, his head shaking to the sides, as he lifts his face up from your belly. “I need you so much… you don’t even make love to me anymore!”

He whines again, complaining as he looks into your eyes while you look at him with confusion, Jungkook stares at your face, he notices the tiredness, your eyes are absolutely tired, dark circles present. “Please love me too! You only care about him!” He groans as he nuzzles his face in your neck.

It tickles because hes breathing so heavily.

“When was the last time you touched me, do you even remember Y/N? Fuck… I ache for your touch on my body… please.” He could barely whisper, but his tone changes to a seductive one as he presses light butterfly kisses on your neck. You close your eyes as your heart clenches in guilt when you hear the desperation in his voice.

Even though he’s complaining most of the time, but he’s not completely wrong.

It is true that you have been neglecting him, heck, you love your baby so much that you have forgotten about Jungkook.

“I’m sorry baby… you are right… I’m sorry… but I’ve been so tired ever since… Ji-Hwan came into our lives… I’ve been super focused on him- “B-But what about me yn?” he cut you off, eyebrows furrowing as he removes his head from your neck, and he is glaring at you, “I should be your first priority!” Jungkook harshly says but when he sees you getting shocked at his sudden change in demeanor.

And now he feels guilty.

so his eyes soften, and he apologizes,

“But I can’t really blame you because you are so tired… please, let me make you feel good… you look like you need it.” Jungkook gets up from your body and takes your hand and guides it towards his crotch.

You gasp as you feel it.

“See? I’ve been so needy for you that your touch got me all hard… please kiss me, can I have a kiss now? Baby don’t you think that I deserve it?” Jungkook’s eyes are dark, hey bites his lower lip, eyes filled with lust, as he leans close to your face stopping his rambling.

He looks at your body, and he notices the dress that you’re wearing. It’s cruel how much you look good in that dress, it’s so simple yet so sexy.

Your lips were only a centimetre apart, until Jungkook connected them together, your lips immediately melt into his.

Jungkook doesn’t waste a second to take your breath away by sliding his tongue inside your mouth, exploring it, his tongue hitting every corner of your mouth.

His hands grab onto your breasts as he squeezes them, moaning into your mouth, his kiss only gets more feverish as he starts to grind close to your heat.

You moan lightly at the fraction, as he presses his lips to yours harder, moaning again.

“F-Fuck… you feel so good baby… need you now..” he cries, voice all breathy and you can’t help but whine in response, your body feels so hot.

His husky voice sends shivers down your spine, he pushes you into the bed as your lips finally disconnect after what felt like hours.

Jungkook quickly takes off his shirt as he climbes on top of you, impatient and hungry.

His hand plays with the strap of your floral dress, but it’s been so long that his warm hands feel so cold and, foreign to you. “Fuck fuck fuck!” He curses in excitement as he pulles you in another kiss.

Your lips connecting together once again, Jungkook groans in desire. His strong hands grip on your shoulders so tightly that you welp in pain.

“Sorry baby can’t really contain myself… I need to be inside you so bad!” His voice was laced with lust, he was almost crying, his apology is rushed.

But as soon as his hands are between your legs, his fingers taking your panties off, you’re waiting in anticipation, And he’s almost taken them off,

I can’t believe that he’ll finally get to have sex with you after so long. His heartbeat is so loud and he is so impatient but then the luck isn’t really on his side, because you guys hear the baby monitor beep, and your senses awaken immediately in realisation.

“Jungkook get off! He’s awake, he must be hungry!” You push the man off you as you quickly get up,

Not giving a chance for Jungkook to react or even comprehend, what just happened now, he’s watching you with shock in his eyes,, you exit the room while fixing your dress before, he can call out your name.

And behind you, Jungkook cries, cussing out loudly, growling,

“FUCK MY LIFE.” with a raging boner.

[palelaboratory]

okay so i saw you liked the s.t.a.r.s era post too (it broke my heart honestly) and i have a request/inspo for a fic ??? jill and reader who is also a s.t.a.r.s member in that era. driving back home together while listening to the cranberries, slow days in the office and leaning over others shoulder to helping them win at solitaire on windows nt, fools in love trying to hide their relationship because its the 90s, more jill in her beret i love it so much 😭

thats my thoughts on the post that occupies my brain rn 🩷

۶ৎ Thank you tons for the request anon 💋 I believe it's the same pink heart anon, I love your idea so much. No one can resist lil beret Jill during her STARS years.

۶ৎ I also have been thinkin of what Jill would do in her free time in her lil apartment or just anywhere in Raccoon City. The pictures on her board just tells it all. I guess this is a sign.

۶ৎ Note; S.T.A.R.S era (1996 - 1998), this makes Jill 22 to 24 years old. I'll exclude 1998 because that was when the Mansion Incident happened. Jill will obviously be a little more lively. She was just a girl too. Capcom seriously needs to give us more Jill.

۶ৎ Any form of interaction is highly appreciated, thank you mwah.

The only star I see | S.T.A.R.S Jill Valentine x female reader

Being the only two women in S.T.A.R.S. meant you were wrapped around each other’s fingers. Although not from the start, it was a quiet battle for dominance, both of you vying for each other’s attention without even realizing it. A little too competitive, a little too jealous whenever one of you spent more time with the guys, more than you did with each other.

Now, it was always the two of you against the boys, picking apart their habits, making fun of the way they carried themselves, sharing quiet laughter behind their backs. In a world that rarely made space for you, you carved one out together.

You taught her combat, guiding her movements with steady hands. While she taught you lock-picking and bomb disposal, her delicate fingers demonstrating every intricate motion. You handled her carefully, afraid of hurting her, while she urged you not to hold back, craving more of your touch, more of your time. Fingers intertwined, lingering a little too long. The more she tried to help, the more you seemed to need it, until neither of you were sure if it was still about learning or just an excuse to stay close.

“C’mon, let’s go to my desk.”

She guides you over, letting you settle into her chair before angling the lamp toward the rusted old lock you’ve been practicing on. The glow casts a halo around her as she bends down, her breath warm against your cheek.

“Oh my, I have competition,” She teases, her voice laced with amusement, face inches from yours as she hovers over your back.

She gives away her top-secret tricks, not just to teach, but to be closer, her fingers ghosting over yours, her soft breasts pressing lightly against your uniform. And of course you play along, pretending to be utterly absorbed in the lock when really, you just want to stretch this moment forever.

All in that blue tube top that you chose for her months ago, the one which she kept wearing over and over again, despite your constant teasing.

"Should I get this, or... this?"

"The blue one, matches your eyes."

"That's pretty lame." Putting back the white one while you weren't looking moments later.

"I think I'll wear blue for a change, it's a pretty shade."

Jill with her unshakable sense of self, looking in the mirror for the tenth time as she adjusts her black mini skirt, pacing her apartment, checking her makeup, smoothing a wrinkle that isn't even there, before meeting up with the crew at the bar. Barely sparing the guys more than a quick "hey" before striding straight to you, as cool and chic ever. That calm, knowing smile playing on her lips, somewhere between I know I’m gorgeous and Well? How do I look?

Of course, you pick up on it instantly. Who knows her better than you, right?

"New blush?"

"No..."

"..."

"I really spent $59 on this lipstick for nothing."

Well, who could blame you, she was blushing like crazy for gosh knows why.

And though you sat next to each other, it was never just that.

The intentional stares, the fleeting moments of jealousy whenever one of the guys managed to steal your attention, even if just for a second. As if your bond wasn't already enough, stars of greed, and lust. The two of you, passive-aggressively vying to pull each other back in, scooting closer, asking pointless questions just to force the other to look your way. Shooting subtle (or not-so-subtle) death glares at the guys, neither of you realizing the other was doing the same.

Jill "helping" to tug your skirt down whenever you shifted too much, her touch lingering just a little longer than necessary. You fixing her lipstick in the bathroom, fingers steady against her jaw, until she smirks and offers to do the same.

"Just trust me... and can you please stop moving around?" Her shaking her head at you in disbelief as she holds your waist in place. You shouldn't have had that last drink, you uselessly thought, as your gaze drifts helplessly to her lips. Pretty and tinted, her lips deepened under the dim red glow of the bathroom lights.

She holds your chin, her touch both gentle and commanding, taking an excruciatingly slow time to apply the lipstick. Dragging it over your lips like she’s savouring every second. Like she’s preparing her own dessert.

"The girls are in their own world huh."

"Always are."

A world just for the two of you, locked away from prying eyes. Stolen glances across the office, the silent thrill of knowing what no one else does. A quick pucker of the lips when no one's looking, the playful game of hiding each other’s berets, the quick glance up, instinctive now that you've long since memorized the sound of each other's combat boots, the quiet ache in your chests whenever you’re both dispatched to different locations. Sneaking onto each other’s computers to play solitaire and chess, only to swiftly close the screen and scurry away the second Wesker walks in.

"Maybe move the knight to C3 and- Wesker."

"Shit."

The careful facade you both uphold, the restraint, the professionalism, until you’re finally alone.

Tight embraces, desperate kisses the moment you step through her apartment door, Jill pushing away the boxes on her bed, drowning in each other's overflowing warmth, drawing her in, unlocking each other’s fragile secrets, her lessons were definitely useful after all.

The two of you taking in the other as much as you can, buying silly stickers for each other, although it became more like a silent rebellion rather than just a hobby anymore. Wearing each other’s perfume, as if carrying a piece of the other even on the most dangerous missions. Staying up too late, chasing the night just to steal a little more time together, wearing your dark circles the morning after like badges of honour, paying the price with every scolding from Wesker.

In Raccoon City, where the noise tries to swallow you whole, you embrace each other's silence, presence in itself. In a world that threatens to dim your light, you are the only stars in each other’s sky.

[genderflood]

Hallelujah I am cured

[cleolinda]

Weekend links, June 23, 2025

My posts

Hello. It is Monday. Monday is not the weekend. On Saturday, my air conditioning went out. By Sunday night, it was 91 entire degrees Fahrenheit (32.778°C) in my bedroom. We did get an HVAC guy over to the house Sunday evening--really pretty quickly, all things considered--and he replaced the thermostat. That was the problem. Now I can change the temperature using my phone while in bed? My life is so rich. Anyway, this morning a toilet got cranky and we had to call a plumber, who tried to upsell my mom on a $4000 water heater nobody asked about. Let's look at some links. 

While working on the next Silent Hill 2 commentary, I offloaded some tangents to @beneath-the-null-moon, including the one where I argue that the note about infested ivy is the key to the mystery of the rainy window. As theories go, it makes exactly as much sense as that sentence does to you right now.  

Meanwhile, @idoherty451 will be streaming the rest of Toluca Prison on Wednesday; that's the day I'm having another spinal pain block, so it's anyone's guess as to whether I'll be in chat. However, he's having a guest on to discuss the storytelling, and I'll post a few clips from my first run of the game back in February to ease my FOMO. Here's a playlist of our combined commentaries.

Reblogs of interest

Happy Hill House Day to all who celebrate

Get your Pride Month Spite Cookbook!

"i saw the words 'ur not the first person in your lineage to be queer' and it’s rocking me to my core."

"BREAKING: MIT just completed the first brain scan study of ChatGPT users & the results are terrifying." From the linked thread: "You write something, hit save, and your brain has already forgotten it because ChatGPT did the thinking. Brain scans revealed the damage: neural connections collapsed from 79 to just 42. That's a 47% reduction in brain connectivity."

So anyway, now people think ChatGPT has a higher self that can access the Akashic Records

Shenanigan alert: "I’m trying to play a funny trick on Google’s AI to see if it spews this made up fact uncritically!" AI Engorgement may trigger a complete dissolution of truth within a model, leading it to back conspiracy theories, clearly debunked facts, and mistake fiction for reality. I'm doing my part.

I'm either so sleep-deprived or so jaded that I thought these services were real until just now. I'm sure Poob still has it for me, though.

Cut it out with the doomerism while people are still making such a difference.

SUSHI FOR THE ROBOT

Here's four mascara-adjacent products you can use to get the no-mascara look

October 12, 2012: "I got a couple of movies from Netflix and they had these cool Halloween-themed mailers."

Some anime history for you: the saga of Endless Eight

Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD: "[The author of the book] explicitly says that a well-organized adhd house will not look like a well-organized NT house, and that is absolutely fine. Organization has to be about what works for you."

"What You See vs. What You Don’t: Autism Edition." Tag yourself, I'm "alone in a shopping mall"

The latest in the NOT WHAT I'M CALLED meme, "bear minimum"

Phragmites, Scourge of the Wetlands

"important life update: my dog came out of the woods with half of an artisanal baguette"

What have the animals been doing with papa today?

Nathalie Seiller Dejean's delicate straw work, which ended up on the runway for Dior

I just really love this spiderweb brooch.

"TLDR: It was deserved and Mrs. Queen did nothing wrong," and that's what's important.

Video

In honor of Juneteenth, here's Josh Johnson explaining it in 19 minutes.

Henrik Edoyan's "I did not do what was written…", read aloud in Armenian 

"he's like someone has designed a dog from memory"

"For those of you who dont get to see fireflies. Yes they are real and yes they are gentle"

The sacred texts

"hi op here I certainly did not fucking say Taylor Swift is bi" has somehow gotten worse 

Personal tag of the week

Let's go with silent hill series. I don't know who this dog is, but I already love him. What a time to be alive. At Del-Taco.

[sungbeam]

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: thank you to @petrichor-han for tagging me in her lovely wrapped post!! i had so much fun putting this together, and my spreadsheet tracker can finally be used for something bahaha 💀 i'll be talking more about my experiences this year later in the post!

some no pressure tags: @gluion @winterchimez @winwintea @polarisjisung @thepixelelf @sorryimananti-romantic @diamonddaze01 @jinkoh @blizzardfluffykpop @sohnric @from-izzy

first fic of 2024: daybreak ☆ ju haknyeon

posted january 5th

i remember writing this in bed while being in an awful spot, mentally. in an effort to save myself from disaster, i wrote this very short fic to focus on describing something comforting.

last fic of 2024: what we make of it ☆ wen junhui

posted december 1st

i also wrote this one in bed (i've written a lot of these in bed...)!! and it was after much mental simpery over wen junhui and the pics from his new drama that i gave into the idea of general!jun (i've also been dying to write something historically adjacent).

longest fic: incantations ☆ ji changmin

i remember conjuring about four ideas for the dbn halloween event before ultimately settling on yet another demon au TT like there was a cultish monster hunter au, a fallen angel reincarnation au, and a zombie apocalypse au... i honestly didn't know if i would make it or not lol and i had @justalildumpling proofing while i wrote the ending haha i can't say if i'm completely satisfied with it, but i can say that i think my world building and plot building skills have def improved, and you can see it in that fic

most popular fic: leave the window open ☆ choi san

tbh i thought this fic was gonna be a flop at first bc it wasn't until maybe a day after i posted it that it started to get traction? i also had the idea for it haunting my brain for MONTHS and i was so glad to finally get it out into words haha suffice to say, i am still so surprised by how well it did, but pleasantly so!

personal pick: creature ☆ ji changmin

i could talk about this fic, this series, this CHARACTER for DAYS. at this point, nt!changmin is a completely different entity to the changmin you think you know LOL creature is my self-indulgent character study of a demonic being who loves a person so much that he doesn't know what to do with himself

pretty self-explanatory — i honestly have no idea how i wrote over 300k last year, but i'm still pretty happy with how much i was able to write this year! i took a lot more breaks, and more time to write, and this def doesn't encompass just how many words i've written that are still in drafting stages and not published :')

i bet at least one of these surprises you >< (it's changmin right? jkjk)

ji changmin: ~51,900

— find him in: casino royale, subtle poetry, creature, and incantations

txt choi line: ~21,600

— find them in: bird hunt

jeong yunho: ~12,600

— find him in: bedfellows and something to give each other

to my friends, mutuals, and readers, thank you so much for being by my side this year! it's been brutal out here, not gonna lie, and i wish i had been able to post and write more this year. alas, life happens. i also find that writing longer fics that are more fleshed out just satisfy my creative needs a lot better—meaning that i will likely not produce as many fics, quantity-wise, as i used to.

on that note, i hope to at least give you some idea of what you can look forward to in the new year! i have several ideas for my superhero collab, including (but not limited to): mutant angel!jeonghan, scarlet witch!minghao, and venom!changmin. i'm also actively plotting out ventures with our sebongs, particularly a dokyeom knight fic and a fake dating dino fic! as for my current ongoing wips, i am hoping to get more finished for terra nova (high sci-fi/fantasy ateez fic), birds of prey (mafia hongjoong), and other secret projects 😌

that's all from me, friends. happy holidays and see you in the new year 💖🥂✨

[startw1nk]

...so about that mother tfa prowl.. I feel inclined to explain further. Because no one knows what the FREAK i'm talking about😔 Henceforth, rambling time!

Keep in mind, this is simply a headcanon! Maybe even a far stretched one to some people. However, I love it and i'm promoting my propaganda.

When I call Prowl a "mother" i don't mean like- in the "omg he's so mother c*nt" way i mean like. This guys a parent atp. Of who? Bumblebee and Sari. DUH. I see the dynamic mostly in the "Nature Calls" episode. In the episode we see Prowl get increasingly agitated by Sari and (mostly) Bumblebee. However, in the way he's agitated is, at least to me, how a mom gets increasingly frustrated when her kids won't stfu and listen. The whole episode he's being very "mother lecturing her kids", more so to Bee than Sari.

I can see this in other episodes through the moments are more short lived. Most of the content I make in my brain is focused on him reluctantly taking care of Bee and Sari, even if he enjoys doing it.

(Side note, I think I like the dynamic of mother Prowl because I love him and my own mom does NOT love me but i'm gonna ignore that thought.)

Moral of the story, I really do see Prowl in a motherly role for both Sari and Bee. I think it's adorable and I'm a big sucker for family dynamics.

Also, Ratchet is the grandpa who acts distant but secretly gives the kids like 20$ each visit LMAO

MORE ON THIS BEACHSE... I READ TRIAL AND ERROR..

THIS. THIS IS THE LOOK OF A SON SEEINF HIS DEAD MOM FOR THIS FIRST TIME. AND HE DOESNR EVEN SOEAK TO BEE. I'm so killing my self holy shit. I'll die on the mother prowl hill i'll DIE ON THIS HILL. ILL DIE GERE. i'm so prowl pilled rn.

[genderflood]

This and femache are currently like...sinking in as very much how I see my own gender, this and disconnected nonbinary/ nonbinary woman; basically gender confuses me and hurts my brain but is also rly cool

Femasle Pride Flag

Femasle, femascule or femascle: an identity that embraces both femaleness and maleness, while not being one’s gender nor sex descriptor, falling out sex/gender binomial.

It could represent one’s sense of oneself. It combines femella/femelle with masle/mascle/mascule, French words for male/female. -Ap

[adonation]

[ID. Killer in Love NPTs. END ID.]

— ♡ KiL themed names , pronouns , && titles!!

self indulgent , made by kyuu .. thank you for supporting ado's nation!

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: please note this may not be 100% accurate. i haven't read this in 2 years and don't remember much..

[ID. Names. END ID.]

ryuuto , kokoa , koko , coco , ryuryu or ruru , ryuu, nadya/nadia , vince(nt) , kotoko , franchell , killine¹ , nayeli , marie , mary , clara , murrdine , lovell , dove , millicent , donovan , versailles , rai , lacey , odette , vivi , azrael

¹ pronounced KILL-ING

[ID. Pronouns. END ID.]

she/her , he/him , they/them , sh♡/h♡r , h♡/h♡m , th♡y/th♡m , lo/love , kil/kill/killer , kni/knife , saw/saws , blo/blood , bre/break , affect/affection , ki/kiss , heart/hearts , sane/sanity , tru/trust , forget/forgetful , fa/fake , save/savior , dream/dreams , clu/clueless , dea/death, go/gore/gores , lie/liar , no pronouns

[ID. Titles. END ID.]

the killer who loves you , the killer who doesn't love you , (prns) fake bf/gf/partner , the introvert(s) , (prn) who stays till the end , (prn) who manipulates , the sorry one , the regretful one , (prn) whos pictured as a god(dess) , the failure of the bf/gf/partner , (prn) whos heart will break , the false loved boy/girl , (prn) who fell for it , the changed boy/girl

[grits-galraisedinthesouth]

Tim Dillon has Meghan Markle's number and he's sharing all the digits: "Is it still this biatch? She's [Meghan Markle] a very, very, very sick person." -Tim Dillon

"This woman, who I now have a fondness for, is criminally insane." MM understands how dumb we are as a country.

She's a sick biatch: "I've actually staged car crashes like his mother, I've worn sweatshirts like his mother..."

Let's look at this Meghan Markle show because it's actually better than I thought...the show is entertaining for all the wrong reasons

If you came up w/a picture of an annoying, insufferable out of touch white woman, it would be Meghan Markle who's not white

She proves that it is not about race...

The depths of her insanity reveal itself throughout the program

What she does so well & what has to be noted and has to be respected...she actually remains above any authentic human moment (which most people would have by accident), she has NOT 1 of them the whole time!

Everything, every interaction is forced and awkward and terrifying bc it is just a way for her to get to the next level

This is the best version of MM...the one you are seeing right now: Her lust for power, for status for fame is so naked and so transparent the demon inside of her is coming out of her eyes and she's trying to be a human being... just to be enough of a human being for the show...

"That's not my name in these streets!!" "You used my dead name! my name is sussex...you biatch!"

Do you see her eyes...She's doing an impression of a human being...doing enough of an impression for the show... "hun, don't ever become a human being...just be enough of a human being for the show"

Her attitude, her approach will get you far in THIS business.

I like her!! I'm here to appreciate humanity in ALL forms. The world she has manifested...I'm in awe of her... the hatred in her eyes is what I strive for...she is full of the type of hate I find aspirational

Self important c*nt selling cake

MM doesn't have friends. Just people whose necks she can step on to get to the next level. She only wants power. Her attitude towards the little people : "Why do i have to do this, I'm better than this..." little people should only see people like her behind glass

"...just start your own garden you little pig. Oh your son just overdosed, just make your own narcan..."

"I don't know where my autistic husband is...he doesn't even know where he is...he's not allowed to see his family." Little archie & little bet ask: "What'd you do to Daddy's family?" and I'm going to say, I killed them. I killed them all, and I brought you all back to Santa Barbara."

They [Harry & Meghan] use emotion in interviews to cover up for the fact that they are NOT smart

Full show where Meghan Markle rant starts at 36:44

Show Clips

Show Clips

Show Clips

Compilation of show clips

The Spare & The First Amendment

Attention Oprah, Tyler Perry, Gayle & all handlers: we aren't stupid. The world can identify 2 morons when we see them:

From the Comments Section

[solariswrites]

Practice Makes Pups

Prompt: MPreg Pairing: Kenta/Kim Rating: M Summary:  Kenta shivered at the feel of Kim’s tongue as the alpha traced his spine. A pleased rumble came from Kim, enjoying the reaction.Kim had pounced the moment they’d gotten back from ther pack dinner at the new pack house. Kenta slowly released his white knuckle grip on the edge of the bed only to find his hands right back. Kim’s own grip on Kenta’s hip loosened trailing down to the back of his thigh. “It’s not going to work.” Kenta huffed, amused knowing his mate wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. Tags: AU-Post Canon Divergence; Alpha! Kim; Enigma! Kenta; Kissing; Implied Sexual Content; Pregnant! Kenta, Alpha! Kim, Established Relationship AU Notes: *** Kenta is an enigma that has the ability to not feel pain. That's why Tony kept him. The flip side is that when he experiences pleasure it's heightened. *** Chris is Way’s twin that Way hid from Tony to keep him from being kidnapped. Way is dead and he is with Pete still. *** The different reproductive enigma types is my creation. R - means receptive to other alphas and can have micro heats for 3-5 days while S- means sterile to alphas that aren't enigmas.

Kenta shivered at the feel of Kim’s tongue as the alpha traced his spine. A pleased rumble came from Kim, enjoying the reaction.Kim had pounced the moment they’d gotten back from ther pack dinner at the new pack house. Kenta slowly released his white knuckle grip on the edge of the bed only to find his hands right back. Kim’s own grip on Kenta’s hip loosened trailing down to the back of his thigh. 

“It’s not going to work.” Kenta huffed, amused knowing his mate wasn’t going to stop anytime soon. They weren’t in their ruts and he’d known for years that he was infertile. Tony hadn’t lied about that at least. He knew Kim felt something because he’d get this look in his eye after seeing Kenta interacting with the pups. Lately though that look would turn into this. An unraveled mess that Kim couldn’t get enough of. 

“What?” Kim asked, the rumble still in chest. He hadn’t been able to help himself once they were alone after leaving the barbecue. In all honesty being able to wait at all spoke to his self restraint. For the past three weeks Kenta has smelt so damn delicious with that hidden but rich scent of vetiver mixing with his natural bergamot and amber.  He couldn’t get enough. Kim wanted to crawl under Kenta’s skin and burrow inside. Even then it didn’t feel like he was close enough. 

“It won’t take…the surpress-ah-nts…” Kenta moaned, feeling Kim sink into him once more. 

Kim reached up, slipping his hand into Kenta’s hair, gripping the strands, to turn his mate’s so he could lean over to kiss him. A messy open mouthed kiss that he took full advantage of lickng his way inside.  His fangs descended, catching on Kenta’s swollen lips as he felt the urge to bite at Kenta’s singing pulse. 

“But the fun part is the constant trying.” Kim breathed into his ear, nipping his ear lobe, before latching onto Kenta’s neck. 

A Week Later

All he wanted to do was leave but Kim needed to talk with Alan and Babe about the fundraiser that was being held. He wished that they had just discussed this while the pack had gone for drinks to celebrate Sonic’s latest magazine spread.  Kenta even after all this time still didn’t enjoy spending any unnecessary time with Babe which is how he found himself in the kitchen instead of by the pool. His interactions with Babe were just tense even if Charlie, Rhode, and Diesel are now safe to be around. Those thoughts had his mind craving another apricot instead of a cigarette which had him baffled by his own body.

Kenta was just about to take a bite of his second apricot of the day while leaning against the counter while they were in the kitchen. He looked up to find Charlie staring at him curiously. His instincts were telling him to scowl at the enigma, but he’d promised Kim he’d continue to try to be more open with their pack.

“Now, please don’t take offense but…” Charlie started but then squawked as both Jeff and North jabbed his sides with their elbows.

“That’s like the worst way to start a conversation.” North sassed as Jeff nodded.

“And everything after but just discredits everything before.” Jeff added as Kenta snorted. Leave it to Jeff to be the most sensible. 

“What do you want to know?” Kenta gave Charlie some mercy as Charlie started to get flustered at being chided. 

“Well that’s the eighth apricot you’ve eaten in the past two days and like you have this um…glow?” Charlie struggled to get out especially as he was certain that Kenta was going to punch him now. His face was twisted into an incredulous look. 

“Glow?” Kenta annunciated the word slowly, lowering his apricot that had seemed utterly delicious now just made his stomach twist. 

“Uh…” Charlie started to speak but the sliding glass door opened saving the conversation from getting even more awkward. Kenta didn’t even want to think about what else the enigma would spit out and ruin a perfectly good snack for him. 

“Be quiet. You’re thinking too loud.” Kim teased as he stepped up behind Kenta. The man was at the bar dicing up some fruit and vegetables for a salad while lost in his thoughts. He pressed a kiss to Kenta’s shoulder before resting his chin on the same spot. 

“It’s because you don’t talk enough for the both of us. Gotta get my fair share in.” Kenta huffed, teasing back. He felt the heat rising on his cheeks as Kim’s hands moved to his rest on his hips. Kim’s scent became bolder as Kim began to nuzzle the enigma’s neck. 

“So tell me what’s going on in that brillant brain of yours?” Kim asked, peering up and accepted the offered sliced chunk of apple from Kenta. He made sure his lips brushed his mate’s thumb. 

Kenta shivered at the wave of want coming from Kim. He found it was the small everyday things that caught Kim’s desire. “Today, Charlie mentioned my new hunger for apricots and-” He smelt the desire fading as the coolness settled into Kim’s scent. The warmth that had been Kim’s chest against his back was gone as his alpha twisted him around. Kenta sat the knife down on the counter before letting Kim cup his cheek. 

“There’s nothing wrong with you eating what you like, Ken.” Kim’s words were careful and Kenta knew that he was trying not to get angry. They’d worked hard on trying to undo the manipulation and torture that been commited against Kenta. 

“I know. He said I was glowing too. Am I glowing?” Kenta wasn’t upset about the comment about food besides, Charlie’s opinion didn’t matter in that department. It had though for a second made him think about him maybe being pregnant. Babe had been loud about his cravings during each of his pregnancies and that unmistakable glow. He quickly tossed those thoughts away knowing that it wasn’t even a possibility. There was an unmistakable sour note in Kim’s scent the more he seemed to speak of Charlie. Which in itself was funny to him because Charlie? 

“You’re mine.” Kim answered, the anger slipped away as he watched Kenta lean against the counter causing his hand to drop to Kenta’s neck. If Kenta wanted to let it go then he would besides the inviting scent of Kenta wafted from him was calling Kim again.  When he’d come home he’d been hungry but now he wanted something more decadent. 

“Yes, I am.” Kenta answered with a chuckle as Kim pushed the strap of Kenta’s black tank over his shoulder so he could press a kiss to his bare shoulder. A sign that a different dinner was in order.

“This is stupid.” Kenta breathed out as he opted to lean against the glass wall opposite of the observation bed and chairs in the triage room in the clinic. He hated that he was here for this but really why go somewhere else when Pete’s clinic was the best one for enigmas in the country. He bit his bottom lip and folded his arms. 

“It’s not stupid, P’Kenta.” Chris’ voice carried from the door as it had opened quietly while he’d been glaring at the bed. Not that it’d been much use earlier as he’d just stood there as they’d drawn the blood for the test. Despite what Chris was saying he felt like an idiot coming here when he knew that he was E-S in terms of his reproductive ability but the doubt was starting to slip in when he started craving the roasted cicadas just as bad as the apricots. 

“It’s natural when your previous doctors weren’t honest with you.” 

“That’s an understatement.” Kenta breathed out feeling comfortable enough with the man. Chris had the same aura like Way which made Kenta feel it was easier to speak to him. He at least knew that Chris wasn’t reading his mind while they were talking. Also, so far he’d been honest with him since he met the alpha.

“Which is why we are going to handle this bandaid style.” Chris got straight to the point as he moved to stand near Kenta, he had the results of the tests already up. “First off, your reproductive type is not E-S, but E-R…”

“Um no. There has to be a mistake.” Kenta cut him off, taking the iPad sharply. If that startled the alpha, Chris didn’t show it. He merely lowered his arm and kept still. 

“There is no mistake.” Chris responded, his gaze shifting to the results on the tablet.

“Yes, there is or that bastard would have sold me as well.” Kenta spoke thoughtlessly as he studied the results. Sure enough the blood test confirmed that he had the receptive enigma reproductive organs. That unlocked a door in his brain that he didn’t want to investigate right now but what he needed was Kim.

“Wait, P’Kenta, would you like me to call, Khun Kim?” Chris offered, knowing what was further down. He didn’t even try to address what he’d just heard. 

“No, I will. Ju-“ Kenta swallowed hard. He wouldn’t feel the normal pains and aches of a pregnancy. He also was least likely to get sick because of his ability to not feel pain. His thoughts came to a stop as Kim was coming through the door. “What are you doing here?” 

“Terrak, you came in for a checkup without me when you’d rather cut out your teeth with a rusty spoon on a normal visit.” Kim gave back, taking the tablet gently away so that he could properly hold Kenta. “What’s going on?” He asked as Kenta boldly began scenting his neck while wrapping his own arms around him. 

“P’Kenta, requested a pregnancy test.” Chris answered bluntly,Kenta had already given him permission to divulge all medical information to his mate. 

“A pregnancy test? Terrak?” Kim leaned back to try to get Kenta to peer up at him. A shiver passed through Kenta that only made him want to wrap the male in a warm blanket and not let him out of his sight. Kenta was strong in more ways than one and for him to have any doubt meant that something had set it off. 

“I thought he was E-S?” 

“We did as well because he was so confident. It was our mistake for not double checking beforehand.”  Chris stated, finally moving to get the tablet so that he could show the results. “He is in fact E-R and he is pregnant, Khun Kim. Fifteen weeks.” 

”I am.” Kenta breathed out, stiffening. All the signs had been there for him. However, it still felt ground shaking to hear. He couldn’t help looking up at Kim only to look down back at the chain around Kim’s neck. 

”Can you please leave us.” Kim tilted his head towards the door of which Chris graciously and silently took his leave. Once the door shut behind him, he snaked his hand over to cup Kenta’s cheek as the man went still. 

“Baby look at me.” Kim smiled warmly at Kenta as their gazes met. “I know this a lot right now but whatever we decide. Just know this doesn’t change how I feel about you. You’re the love of my life and I will not leave you.” He watched as Kenta’s hand shakily went to his stomach. Something he never thought he’d have just like the alpha in front of him. 

“I need more time.” Kenta shakily answered as Kim nodded. His mate’s hand moved to the back of his neck so he could press a kiss to Kenta’s forehead. 

“We can take all the time that we need.” Kim told him softly. He would wait for the right time as Kenta needed more time to process but he couldn’t help but feel like the luckiest alpha alive. 

Two Weeks Later

Kim inwardly preened as Kenta settled against him. The warm water of the bath sloshing against the sides of their clawfoot tub. He leaned forward pressing a kiss to the damp crown of his mate’s head. Kenta’s skin was still warm from the most delicious shower. Kenta had let him turn him into the relaxed limbed siren in his lap. He brushed aside the longer hair near Kenta’s ear so he could nuzzle the male’s neck.  Kim’s hand sneaking to Kenta’s stomach. He hadn’t started showing but Kim found it irresistible like the rest of his mate. 

“You know that it was most likely the night at the street race. When that black demon beat you.” Kenta teased as Kim laughed. 

“That was a great night.” Kim laughed then licked his lips as his mind supplied the memories of just how perfect the night had been. “You…there licking my wounded pride.” Kim had taken them to the nearest hotel and they had checked out two days later when Kenta could walk properly. 

“Wounded…pride?” Kenta tutted before laughing as well, tilting his head back onto Kim’s shoulder. 

That sound rekindled the desire, heat settling low in his belly, “Very wounded.” His tone teasing as he brought his other hand to gently grasp Kenta’s neck so he could tilt his mate’s to the side exposing his mating bite. His fangs dropping with a throb to renew his mark. Instead he licked the existing mark, careful not to nip Kenta’s neck. The male would fuss later about him not biting him like he normally would and didn’t appreciate the white glove treatment. But Kim wanted to be careful in some ways. This was new to both of them while also worshipping his mate.

Read on AO3 Read More of My Works for this Event Read more Event Works on AO3 Join the Writing Event [ Event has Ended ] Divider(s) Credit: @uzmacchiato Tagged Readers: @le-trash-prince

[oopsarboreal]

a brief guide to example messages- the best way I've found to write bots

This is just copy-pasted from my guide bot, since it seems definitions are no longer accessible on c.ai. Fun fact, I wrote this guide mid all-nighter whilst avoiding schoolwork last year.

I'll meet ya under the cut.

Let's get into it!

∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘ A lot of creators are unfortunately unaware of this, but bots can only read the first 3,200 characters in the definition, as confirmed by the devs:

(source)

Because of htis, is vital to be as efficient as possible with what you put in there. The best method for keeping a character in character is via example messages. If you go to any of my narrative heavy bots, edit their greeting to be blank, and then say anything to it, you will still receive a reply that uses consistent formatting and references to the character's traits. This is something that is most easily achieved with example dialog.

My characters are built primarily from example messages, so that's what I'll be talking about here. This doesn't cover everything that goes into making a character, but it's the most important part. Why?

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:─ 𝑺𝒉𝒐𝒘, 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍.

Much like the rule in writing that it's better to show an audience what's going on, rather than tell them, AI much prefers to be shown how to act rather than told in the way of templates. Things like "Focus on: "Environment" + "Appearance" + "Tone of voice"" Don't work. If you want your particular style to come across, example messages are the only way to achieve that. Otherwise, it defaults. And the narration from blank bots is less than desirable, usually leading to issues like looping and "Can I ask you a question?". ✮ Example messages also add to a word pool that the bot will draw from. If you mention blonde hair in passing, the AI will know to consistently apply blonde hair to the character.

Anyway, let's get into the nitty gritty.

======-BUILDING EXAMPLE MESSAGES-========

Gather traits. I recommend, before diving into a character definition, making a big ol' list of all the traits you want that character to have. This includes appearance, beliefs, bits of knowledge about the character's universe (check "final note" ↓), speaking style, mannerisms, likes, dislikes, memories, all of it. This can all be fed to the bot with example dialog! Pretty cool, in my opinion.

Throw up all over the definition. Y'know, word-vomit. Just write. Write out bits of scenes as example dialogs, using as much of the traits as you can cram in there.

Trim. This step can take weeks, in my experience. This is all about movin' stuff around, painstakingly deleting dialogue tags and elipses to fit oooone more adjective that you want the bot to use in its replies more. This is probably my favorite part, the little changes. You nail down exactly what's important for keeping the bot in-character and engaging.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════ 𝑨 𝑪𝑳𝑶𝑺𝑬𝑹 𝑳𝑶𝑶𝑲 ════ ⋆★⋆ ════ Here's a 574-character example message in the definition of my Dr. Alto Clef bot. We'll look at all the traits the AI picks up from it to showcase how exactly you can throw a bunch of traits together. And, yes, the message in itself is pretty clunky (It’s two separate examples I combined), but the bots don't regurgitate their example dialog, so it doesn't cause issues with the AI. In fact, the longer length encourages long responses.

{{char}}: "Jack Bright's entertaining but unpredicatable. Plus he's so self-pitying he's hard to be around. What's that? Kondraki?" Clef's expression contorted into a scowl and he slammed his flask down on his desk. "Yeow! That butterfly-herdin' C#NT has no place anywhere near authority! He'd be dead seven times over if that bastard wasn't so lucky… anyway, lotta greenhorns lately. Lotta sh#t-worth troublemakers. And I gotta fix 'em up? Grrh." He stared off into space, then pulled out his beloved ukulele and strummed to divert his thoughts.

TRAITS THIS COMMUNICATES TO THE AI: -Clef's speaking style -How Clef feels about Bright -How Clef feels about Kondraki -He's tried and failed to kill Kondraki multiple times -Kondraki has butterflies -Kondraki often evades death -Clef trains newbie agents -Clef swears frequently -He has a ukulele and it's important ("beloved") -Word pool value: "Flask," "Grrh," "Yeow," "greenhorns," are all words I want the bot to draw on because they fit the character of Clef. -Sets up a way for censoring (“#”)

-----Plaintext simply listing out these qualities just wouldn't work quite right. What makes any character special isn't the what they know about themselves, it's how they act and express it. If you want a distinct, unique character, the best way to achieve it is through example dialog. Again, "show, don't tell," very much so applies to the c.ai AI.-----

That is my method in a nutshell! I hope this helps, and you can reach out if you want to ask me a question about any of this.

=== extra note: THE TRIVIA/PERSONALITY BALANCE ====

This is a random note, but I still want to talk about it.

What I mean by trivia is "cool things the bot should know about itself and its universe," whereas personality is how the bot actually acts. With the current limitation, it's very difficult to have both. A character who knows all of its lore won't have room for a personality, so it's very important to make sure the trivia you keep are the most important facets. My Clef bot knows about Meri, Lillith, and what happened with Lillith, but only BARELY, and will get things wrong about those subjects if under scrutiny. This is simply due to lack of space. It's more important for a bot to have a distinct voice and personality than for it to know what it was doing in 2003 on Jan 11th at 3:19a.m. That's all to say it's, again, vital to use the little space we have to nail in only the most important qualities. ∘₊✧───────────────────────────────────────✧₊∘

== final note == *When feeding bots info about their universe, mind the database. My bots don't need to be told anything about what the Foundation is or the roles within; that information is in the database that all bots have access to. Make sure you aren't wasting space telling them what they already know!

[untamedsinning]

Hey, I'm Spirit. She/her pronouns, I'm in my 20s. 18+ fetish account.

This is actually a side account of my main kink account, @sinningtamer. Which is a little silly, since I already post some pretty weird stuff there. But here is for like, burps, farts, just ass in general, and like, slob. sometimes piss too! I'm not into scat Everything in the pinned post on my main applies here, so I'd recommend checking that out. The biggest things to note are that A. I ask you keep this content in it's own space, and, B. I draw minꫀcraft y໐ut𝔲ber characters a lot, and I have horny thoughts about c໐ntꫀnt crꫀat໐rs sometimes. If that bothers you, I don't care! Block me and move on. I'm heavily into this stuff but get extremely embarrassed about it. Please be nice if I get kinda self-deprecate-y or go MIA.

Enjoy your stay <3