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shyfoxsky · 2 months ago

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Theriotype List

So, to start out, for context, I think we've all seen a skeptic comment about how all therians are only "cool" animals. I personally have always enjoyed keeping up with those with "rarer" theriotypes and even using them as examples when these kinds of arguments are brought up, so I've decided to do a little bit of a personal project, that being creating a huge list of the wide variety within the therian community. Below is the list I've created so far, sorted by general species, then adding in subspecies/breeds, all in alphabetical order.

Please keep in mind and understand that for now, I am only putting Earthen animals on this list, mainly so I and the post can keep up, because there's a LOT here already and I know there are hundreds more out there. Maybe in the future I'll make another list with mythical/fictional/etc. kintypes, or someone else can do that for me, you have my full permission, just let me know, but for now, just Earthen animals.

This list does, of course, need more entries though. If you have a theriotype that you don't see on this list, please comment or reblog and let me know so I can add it! You can follow and find it with the tag "foxskys theriotype list".

Adder - European Agouti Alpaca Ankylosaurus Anteater Argentavis Armadillo - Three-banded Arthropleura Axolotl Badger - American - European - Honey - Japanese - Sunda Stink Bat - Evening - Flying Fox - Vampire Bear - Black - Brown - Polar Bee - Bumble - Honey Beetle - Dor - Stag Binturong Bison - American Bonobo Butterfly - Buckeye Caracal Cat, Domestic - Bombay - Himalayan - Japanese Bobtail - Lykoi - Maine Coon - Norwegian Forest - Oriental - Ragdoll - Shorthair - Turkish Van Centipede - Amazonian Giant - Japanese Giant - Red-headed Cheetah Chickadee Chimpanzee Chipmunk - Eastern Cicada - White Ghost Coatimundi - White-nosed Cockroach Coot - European Cow - Holstein Friesian Coyote Coywolf Crocodile - Nile - Saltwater - Siamese Crow - American - Hooded Damselfly - Blue-tailed Deer - Axis - Caribou - Hog - Marsh - Red - White-tailed Dingo Dog, Domestic - Alaskan Malamute - Australian Shepherd - Beagle - Belgian Malinois - Bernese Mountain - Blue Bay Shepherd - Border Collie - Borzoi - Carpathian Shepherd - Cavalier King Charles Spaniel - Dalmatian - Doberman - German Shepherd - Golden Retriever - Husky - Irish Wolfhound - Karst Shepherd - Nova Scotia Duck-tolling Retriever - Saluki - Sighthound - Silken Windhound - Wolfdog - Yorkie Dolphin - Amazon River - Common Donkey Dove Duck - Mallard Eagle - Bald - Golden Elk - American - Irish Eusmlius Fish - Arowana - Barbel - Betta - Bristlenose Pleco - Carp - Hag - Koi - Pike - Salmon - Zander Fly - Blue Bottle Fossa Fox - Arctic - Bat-eared - Blanford's - Corsac - Crab-eating - Gray - Red, American - Red, European - Swift Goat Golden Cat - Asiatic Gorilla Grackle Grebe - Pied-billed Guinea Pig Hamster Hare - Brown - European Hawk - Red-tailed Hawk-Eagle - Changeable - Wallace's Hedgehog Homotherium Hornbill Hornet - Bald-faced - European Horse - Akhal-Teke - Clydesdale - Drum - Mustang Hyena - Aardwolf - Brown - Spotted - Striped Ichthyovenator Iguana Isopod Jackal - Black-Backed Jaguar Jay - Blue - Florida Scrub Jellyfish - Moon - White Spotted Jerboa Kangaroo Katydid Kestrel - Eurasian Ladybug Lemur - Black-and-white Ruffed - Red-bellied - Red-ruffed Leopard - African - Clouded - Snow Lion - African - American - Mountain Lynx - Bobcat - Canadian - European - Iberian Macaw - Blue-and-Yellow - Hyacinth - Scarlet - Spix’s Magpie - American - Eurasian Margay Marten - American Pine - European Pine - Japanese - Yellow-throated Microraptor Millipede - Crested Mink - American - Sea Monkey - Capuchin Moth - Cecropia - Cinnabar - Common Domestic Silk - Gold - Luna - Rosy Maple - Satin Mouse - Harvest - Hazel Dormouse Muskrat Newt - Marbled Octopus - Mimic Opossum Orangutan Osprey Otter - Giant - River - Sea Owl - Barn - Burrowing - Snowy - Tawny Panda - Giant - Red Pangolin - Black-bellied Parpsauropholus Parrot - Kea Peacock/fowl Pigeon Pitohiu - Hooded Plateosaurus Possum Pterosaur Pufferfish Rabbit - Lionhead - Lop-Eared Raccoon Raven - Common Ray - Sting Sable Scorpion Sea Lion Sea Slug Seagull - Greater Black-backed Seal - Harbor - Weddell Serval Shark - Chain Catshark - Nurse - Oceanic Blacktip - Sicklefern Lemon Sheep - Bighorn - Domestic - Hebridean - Herdwick - Mouflon Sinosauripteryx Skink - Blue-tailed Snake - Banded Sea Sparrow - Common House Spider - Black Widow - Orb Weaver Spinosaurus Squid Squirrel - Eastern Fox - Finlayson's - Gray - Red Stoat Stork - Shoebill Tamarin - Golden Lion Terrorbird Tiger - Bengal - Siberian - Sumatran Toucan Vulture - Bearded - Black - Turkey Wasp Whale - Killer - Minke - Pilot - Right Wolf - Alaskan - Arctic - Coastal - Eastern - European - Gray - Himalayan - Labrador - Mackenzie River - Maned - Mexican - Northern Rocky Mountain - Northwestern - Red - Tundra Wolfdog Wolverine Zebra - Grevey's - Mountain - Plains

#therian #therianthropy #therian community #alterhuman #alterhumanity #alterhuman community #nonhuman #nonhuman community #foxskys theriotype list

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squishmallow36 · 1 month ago

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I have feeling my live commentary will be annoying to type into the tags so this is my solution :)

Re: the header -> Stop apologizing for things. Please. I know this is going to be good and also i feel like ooc projecting is kind of essential to fedex. Or maybe that's a reflection on my own writing process. Anyway.

If i convinced you to ship fedex *insert sickos meme here* i did it for the funny name and now it's been four years. I cannot escape /silly

*evil laugh* yessss pathetic fitz. He needs to be at least a little pathetic at all times. As a treat.

Dex's first line calls Fitz Wonderboy asdfhdjaowoedidjsk !!!!

Auagh referencing the arthropleura you really are one of us (ipeople with too many fedex thoughts) (we've been milking that scene for all it's worth for so long) (it is very pathetic)

"Perfect relationship, perfect money" something something little miss perfect. Also go off, Dex. You deserve it.

Yesss biana go and live with Tiergan Tam and Linh

Woag no neverseen means Fitz didn't try murdering Alvar? That's kinda wild in the post-Flashback world of canon

"Dex was very cute" your honor they're so gay

Aaahhhh the fitz biana sibling telepathy ough their entire dynamic. Never mind that my brain has been hardwired to see the words "middle finger" and immediately go "ah yes. That occurred in the intro to my immortal" i think i've had too much internet.

Dex claiming the dough could sense his fear?? That's sooooo Iconic of him.

Fitz smacking Dex's hand away from the mallowmelt asdhfisowskfhfjsoao

Fitz is so fucking gay and i personally think he deserves it. As a treat. You make dex mallowmelt and you get to deal with the consequences.

Oh no fitz angy? That's so sad :(

Fitz gets to break shit let's fucking goooo also i completely forgor the yeti statue existed.

Auaaaagh dex making a list about all the reasons fitz is a good person? Yes dex make a list. Do it. We adore making lists around here. Also the fitz is a good person part is important too.

They kiss and dex says thanks?? Amsjdksksvhsjskcjv That's absolutely perfect

The amount of me flapping my arms around while reading this is quite extensive (/pos) and if at any bulletpoint i am bad at translating that into actual words, feel free to attach that as necessary

In conclusion: YOUR HONOR THEY'RE SO GAY

secret santa :)

Hi @squishmallow36, I was your secret santa! And I am so terribly sorry! This was written almost entirely between the times of 10 PM and 3 AM across the span of five days, so I'd like to apologize for a) the bad writing b) the projecting c) how ooc they are d) the weird, abrupt ending, and e) everything. Regardless, it is very much a Fedex story, and writing it was a lot of fun (this fic might have converted me into shipping them fr fr). Fitz is very pathetic /pos in this, so hopefully you’re a fan of that in fics :) Hope you enjoy!

story takes place in a neverseenless au (don't think too hard about how that works), tw for panic attacks, accidental self harm (related to the panic attacks), & mentions of shitty parenting

@song-tam thanks for hosting :)

Fitz didn’t want to be here, shopping in Atlantis. He was completely zoned out, foot tapping against the ground as his mind wandered, steadfastly ignoring the passage to Sophie’s mind. He didn’t want to think about her. What he wanted to do was curl up in his bed and rot for the next month, but Biana had dragged him to this outing, stating that it was time he stopped wallowing and left the house. Admittedly, she was probably right, as she often was, but that didn’t make him any happier about it. Especially since he was now stuck making incredibly awkward conversation with one Dex Diznee. Biana and Linh were off cooing at the murcats, while Tam was desperately trying to prevent his twin from buying another pet. So, since Dex was banned from the store for reasons he refused to say, and Fitz simply didn’t feel like staring at cute animals his father would never let him get, they ended up standing outside together and talking. Speaking of which…

“Hey, Wonderboy, you there?” Dex was waving a hand in front of his face, looking mildly annoyed.

Fitz snapped back into the present, suddenly remembering that there was a conversation he was meant to be engaged in. “Sorry, mind drifted off,” he apologized, still a little distracted. “Uh, what were you saying?”

Dex scoffed. “Have you not been listening at all?” He looked a little hurt, crossing his arms and shifting his body further away from him. “Y'know what, forget about it.” “Sorry,” Fitz repeated, cheeks flushing slightly with embarrassment. He really hadn’t meant to ignore him. “I just… have a lot going on right now.” Which was an understatement - with him finding out Sophie and Keefe were together (and had kissed) just a few days ago, and their cognate bond being nearly broken, and his dad practically giving him the silent treatment for getting that close to losing such a powerful bond, he was more than a little preoccupied.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Dex muttered under his breath, glaring at the tiles at his feet.

Fitz felt the corners of his mouth tug downward, eyebrows furrowing. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, Wonderboy,” Dex was facing him again, smirk back on his face, but the nickname had a bite in it that he hadn’t heard in a while - not since one of Dex’s weird inventions had accidentally exploded and hit him, and he apologized for hating him.

“What is with you?” It was Fitz’s turn to cross his arms, posture turning defensive.

“There’s nothing with me,” Dex scowled. “I just think that if you think talking to me is so beneath you, the least you could do is be honest about it.”

Fitz just blinked at that, bewildered. He really didn’t have an answer - that couldn’t be further from the truth. He genuinely enjoyed the other’s company the majority of the time, and vice versa (or so he hoped). He wasn’t sure what brought this sudden outburst of bitterness. Had he done something wrong? Was this yet another person he had mistreated, unknowingly or not, in the past few weeks? A pang of guilt ran through him at the idea that he had hurt Dex without realizing.

Unfortunately, Dex seemed to take his silence as confirmation, continuing, “I mean, what could possibly be weighing you down so much? Perfect relationship, perfect family, all the money and power and popularity and fame you could ever want constantly at your fingertips,” he was practically spitting the words out now, anger tainting his tone. “No wonder you still don’t want to talk to someone like me!”

“Is that what this is about?” Fitz cut in. “I thought we were past this.” His eyes narrowed, catching Dex’s gaze and then quickly glancing away. He couldn’t deny being offended, and a little hurt, that despite everything, Dex only saw him as Alden's golden child, who had never faced a struggle in his life. The comment about his “perfect relationship” stung especially, like digging into a fresh wound.

“Am I wrong?” Dex growled, straightening to his full height to look down at him.

Fitz intended to make a biting comment about how yes, actually, he was very wrong, and his privilege didn’t prevent him from suffering, and hadn’t Dex realized that when he nearly blew him up, but what ended up slipping out of his mouth was, “Sophie and I broke up.”

Dex faltered. “Oh,” he said dumbly.

“Oh,” Fitz mocked. Despite his unexpected comment ripping most of the fight out of him, he still felt like being a little mean.

“When…?”

“Two days ago, technically,” he mumbled, “but we had been taking a break for a few weeks before that because of an…” he glanced sidelong at Dex, wondering how much to tell him, “an argument.”

“You mean about Sophie’s unmatchable status,” he clarified.

Well. Evidently, he didn’t have to worry about how much to tell him. He had a brief moment of panic and anger - did Sophie tell him everything? About his initial reaction, and later on, the way he’d tried to pressure her? The fact that she had kissed Keefe? Was that why Dex was acting so strangely? - before he pushed it down firmly. She had every right to talk to him about it, and if Dex was judging him for it, then could Fitz really blame him? He was certainly judging himself for it.

Apparently his emotions were showing, because Dex continued with, “Don’t worry, the only thing she told me was about being unmatchable. I think she even talked to me about it before you, actually. I just guessed you might be mad about that.”

“I was,” he admitted hesitantly, trying not to be hurt by the fact that Sophie had confided in Dex before him. “The way I reacted was, uh, not great. Not because I have something against bad matches,” he hurried to clarify. “If one of my friends was a bad match, I’d be completely fine with it as long as they were happy. But I felt like it was different for me. A lot of people still look down on bad matches, and I felt guilty about doing that to my family. To my parents, especially after Alvar and Biana.” He was referring, of course, to his older brother’s renouncement of the Vackers a few years back. He’d essentially disowned himself, and had been criticizing the family rather loudly since, a source of embarrassment for his parents. More recently, and more secretively, Biana had moved out of Everglen after a disastrous argument with their father, and was now happily living with Tiergan along with the twins.

Dex had looked increasingly more dubious as he kept rambling, but nearing the end his eyebrows had shot up. “Felt,” he noted. “Past tense?”

“I recently realized that ‘bringing shame onto your family’ shouldn’t be as big of a deal as it is to me?” he phrased it as a question, still not entirely sure what that meant. “I talked to my siblings - yes, both of them,” he confirmed, catching Dex’s surprised expression, “and they pointed out that if our parents weren’t willing to accept one of their children being a bad match, that was on them. Alvar was really annoying about it too, kept saying ‘I told you so’. But, yeah, I don’t really care anymore. Not that I got to tell Sophie that.” He mumbled the last sentence under his breath, but Dex still managed to catch it.

“Why did she break up with you then?” he questioned - then paused, eyes widening in realization. “Does it have to do with Keefe?”

Fitz just looked away, crossing his arms.

“Yeah, it totally does,” Dex decided. “What happened? Did they kiss? I know he’s liked Sophie for forever, did he make a move first? Did she get over the ‘Great Foster Oblivion’?”

Upon him not responding, Dex backed off.”Sorry. I’m being pushy. If it makes you feel any better, she rejected me too. Just proves that she has bad taste, right?”

It startled a laugh out of him, and he looked back over in time to see Dex wink at him, and he felt himself blush, much to his surprise. To be fair, he was hardly wrong. With his periwinkle eyes, strawberry blonde hair, and freckles, Dex was very cute. And pretty, for that matter. Fitz wasn’t sure how he’d managed to miss how attractive the younger boy was, actually.

“For sure,” he agreed. He would have said more, but Linh and Biana walked out at that moment, Linh holding an entire Direwolf cub in her arms and looking very pleased with herself. Tam trudged out after them, tugging on his bangs so hard it looked like he was about to rip them out. Biana glanced around before finding them and smiling brightly, strutting over.

“Hope you two weren’t too bored out here,” she greeted them cheerfully.

“Nah, we were talking,” Dex smiled back, dimples making an appearance. “We’re having lots of fun.”

Fitz hummed in agreement, letting his eyes linger on the other boy for a moment too long before turning to Biana. His sister raised an eyebrow at him, subtly asking him a question. Just as subtly, he answered by slowly extending his middle finger. She scoffed.

-----------------

He started talking with Dex more after that. Long imparter calls, trips over to Rimeshire (Dex had admitted that he felt insecure at Everglen, and Fitz was more than willing to oblige - Kesler and Juline were incredibly sweet, and the triplets, though menaces, were a source of constant entertainment). They had started confiding in each other, Dex about Rex’s talentlessness and how he feared for how his brother would be treated once the rest of the elven world found out, and Fitz about how he felt pressure to be perfect, and that he often wished he wasn’t his father’s favorite.

It was during one of his trips to Rimeshire that he realized that he was crushing hard on Dex.

They were making mallowmelt, so they were in the kitchen, baking. Or rather, Fitz was baking. Dex was sitting on the countertop watching, having claimed that the dough could sense his fear.

They were chatting about everything and nothing while he worked, from what pets they would get if they could to the abilities they wanted as a kid.

“You never thought about being a technopath? Really?” Fitz questioned. “Honestly, I don’t think I could see you as anything else.” They were waiting for the mallowmelt to finish baking, so he was leaning against the counter, the crystal chilly against his skin.

“It came as kind of a disappointment,” Dex explained. “I actually have no idea when I manifested, since I’ve always been good with tech. There was no fun, all new ability that suddenly appeared, so it was really underwhelming. My parents were over the moon when we realized, though. I think my dad cried.”

“I don’t think my dad’s ever been prouder of me than when I manifested as a telepath,” Fitz said, only slightly joking. “Alvar resented me for it at the time, though. He saw it as confirmation that he was being upstaged by his younger brother. It’s ironic, though, because we both wanted to switch places. I wanted to be a vanisher so badly when I was younger. Having everyone’s eyes on you, all the time, waiting for you to live up to your potential… I just wanted a break, you know?”

Dex nodded, gaze thoughtful. “I get that. Having people constantly expecting something from you is exhausting,” he agreed. “For me, they were expecting failure, not success, but I guess it puts a lot of pressure on you either way.”

Fitz opened his mouth, about to respond, but at that moment the timer went off. He jumped up to turn it off and get the mallowmelt out of the oven, carefully sliding the hot pan onto the counter. Dex was already reaching for it, with no apparent concern for the fact that the gooey dish was practically still bubbling. Fitz smacked his hand away gently.

“Wait,” he chided. “You’ll burn yourself.”

Dex rolled his eyes playfully. “You just have to ruin all my fun, don’t you.”

He held his hands up in mock surrender, tossing the other a fork. “Go right ahead, then. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Grinning widely, Dex scooped up a heaping, steaming bite and brought it to his mouth… and immediately regretted it, judging by the way he started panting and fanning his face.

“Hot, hot, hot!” he yelped through a mouthful of food. “Why didn’t you warn me?”

Exasperated and amused, Fitz feigned disappointment, pretending to lecture him, but couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face.

Once Dex had downed an entire bottle of Youth or whatever they’re called and the mallowmelt had cooled a sufficient amount, they settled into a comfortable silence while eating. Fitz finished first, and simply watched as the technopath shoveled his (second) piece down his throat, a laugh bubbling up at the way the mallowmelt smeared across his lips.

Dex looked up, eyes wide. “What? What’s funny?”

“You have a little something there,” Fitz said, unthinkingly reaching up to wipe it away. His breath caught in his throat as his hand made contact with Dex’s face, pausing in its action. The other boy was blushing, the tips of his ears and his cheeks bright red.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, retracting his arm. He was suddenly all too aware of his heart beating too fast in his chest, the soft pink haze clouding his mind with thoughts of how perfect Dex looked, and oh, he knew this feeling. He knew this feeling all too well.

-----------------

Fitz hadn’t meant to come here. Really, he hadn’t. What he intended to do was head to Solfreef and get Biana to calm him down. In his enraged state, though, he wasn’t thinking quite clearly, and had yelled out “Rimeshire!”, and since he didn’t have any other leaping crystals on him, his only choice was to stay.

He knocked firmly on the door. It took Dex a few minutes to get there, and he was greeted with the sight of a still fuming Fitz pacing back and forth, hands clenched into fists so tightly his nails sent sharp flashes of pain across his nerves.

“Do you want to come inside?” he asked hesitantly after a few seconds without a reaction to him opening the door.

Fitz stopped, turning towards him. “Yeah,” he sighed, one hand coming up to drag through his hair.

They didn’t talk for a while after heading inside, but eventually Dex spoke. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” Fitz muttered, shoulders coming up defensively.

“Okay…” he didn’t push, and, a little nervously, he offered another solution; “Y’know, I keep hearing about this human thing called rage rooms. They’re - well, they’re exactly what they sound like, they’re places people can go to break stuff and get out some anger. And I’ve been thinking, there are some things that I know my parents wouldn’t mind mysteriously disappearing…”

Fitz blinked a few times in surprise, realizing what he was suggesting. “No, I couldn’t-” he began, only to be cut off by Kesler poking his head around the corner.

“Please do!” he chirped. “Sorry for eavesdropping, but I’d like to offer this,” he said, holding up a horribly ugly yeti statue with telekinesis, “for your consideration.”

“See?” Dex asked, jerking his thumb in the direction of the statue. “That thing is begging to be destroyed.”

Fitz laughed slightly, some of the tension seeping out of his frame. “Well, that’s hard to argue with.”

The two were practically giving him puppy eyes now, and to be fair, it probably would do him good to let off some steam. Not to mention, they were absolutely right. That statue needed to be put out of its misery.

That was how he ended up in a clearing somewhere in the Diznee’s estate, taking a metal club to a crystal yeti statue. The fragile stone broke easily, shattering into pieces that flew everywhere with each swing. For the most part, they ended up in the grass or caught in his jerking, but a few had embedded themselves in his hands, scratching the skin he had uncovered. He’d been at it for a while, and by now he could feel the anger bubbling beneath his skin ebbing. His jaw was still clenched tightly, though, and remained that way until he collapsed in the grass, sitting a few meters away from the shattered remains of the statue and breathing heavily.

Dex approached from the edge of the clearing, where he had been standing the entire time, looking slightly shaken.

Wait. Dex had been watching the entire time. He’d seen him at his worst, letting his anger control him - the same anger that had driven Sophie away, had ruined his friendship with Keefe, had put a gap between him and his siblings. Breathing started to become difficult, and the shaky gasps he’d been taking didn’t seem to be enough. His vision blurred and distorted, Dex turning into a whirl of colors as he approached. He wrung his hands, accidentally pushing the shards of crystal still there further into his flesh. He winced at the pain. He grasped weakly at his jerkin, the thick material feeling suffocating, but his hands were shaking too hard to remove it.

“Fitz?”

The voice came to him as if through a fog, drifting into his consciousness. He stared blankly at the face in his vision, not recognizing the features despite their familiarity. Suddenly, he became aware of someone else’s hands, warm and calloused, grabbing his own.

“Dex?” he croaked, blinking away tears that he hadn’t realized he’d shed. “Why are you still here?”

The technopaths eyebrows were furrowed, concern painted across his face. He gave a small laugh that didn’t seem ingenuine despite clearly not being humorous, and asked, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because I-” Fitz hiccuped softly, tears still running down his face and drying uncomfortably on his face, “I break everything I touch. See?” he gestured at the wreck over his shoulder. “I ruin everything good thing I have, but I’m still trying to hang on to you even though I’m just going to end up hurting you. You- you shouldn’t be here. Why are you here?”

The grip on his hands tightened, but immediately eased when he hissed in pain.

“That’s not true, FItz,” Dex insisted. “It’s not. You-” he paused, examining the crystal in his skin. “Let’s get these out first, but I can and will make an extensive list of all the reasons why you’re a good person and a good friend.”

“You don’t have to lie to spare my feelings,” he mumbled, doubting Dex’s words even as the other boy gently pried the shards out of his flesh, cradling his hands like he was someone worth caring about. “I know that I’m not someone- I mean, I’m likeable, but only if you don’t know me.I’m not loveable, not the way you are.”

“I love you,” Dex blurted out. Immediately, his eyes widened in surprise at himself, but he continued. “I do! I didn’t really mean to say that, but I really, really do think I love you.” Here, he took a breath, as if steeling himself for what he was about to do next. “Not just in a friend way, either. And sorry if that’s weird, or if this is the wrong time, which is definitely is-”

Fitz couldn’t help it. He kissed him. It wasn’t very elegant, their lips smushing together awkwardly and both of them not entirely prepared, but it felt right.

“I love you too,” he breathed out quietly, the moment feeling too intimate for anything louder than a whisper.

“Oh,” Dex was smiling uncontrollably. “Thanks.” He paused. “Wait, not ‘thanks’. That’s weird. That was a weird thing to say.”

“Yeah, it was,” Fitz laughed. “Good thing I like weird.”

They were both grinning like idiots now, staring lovestruck at each other and slowly leaning in. Their lips met again, and for that moment, Fitz felt all his troubles fade away. All that existed in the world was them, them and the way they held each other, them and the way he felt worthy. Loved. Valued for him.

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liz-tries-to-write · 4 years ago

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Sophitz Week: Angst

A/N: This is for this second prompt for Sophitz ship week! I forgot how fun it is to write angst >:)

Pairing: Sophie x Fitz

Word Count: ~1.7k

TW: blood, death

Sophie has had many near-death experiences.

Everyone knows this; she’s constantly throwing herself in the path of danger to help other people, no matter the cost. She’s at the center of it all, which means the outcome of most things depends on her. And she’s all too willing to sacrifice herself.

Fitz has had one or two himself. The one that haunts him the most was the incident with the arthropleura, and it brings back memories of vile tea and dark spiderwebs, and the sensation of being caught between life and death.

Something all these events had in common was that no matter what, everyone was okay. Mind breaks, broken bones, shadowflux; there were so many moments where someone was teetering on the edge of death. Honestly, Sophie flirted with death more than she did Fitz. But at the end of the day, she was always safe— alive.

Looking down at his tunic soaked in Sophie’s blood, Fitz wasn’t sure that this time was going to be like rest. When he had stumbled into the Healing Centre, Sophie in his arms, Bullhorn hadn't even screamed. He had simply laid down next to her, his tiny body almost as motionless as the blonde was.

Fitz remembers Sophie’s hair spread out beneath her like a halo, her eyes closed as though she were asleep, and blood, so much blood. And that’s all he remembers before he collapses and the world fades to black.

---

The next week was a whirlwind of vials and bandages, flashing lights and sleepless nights. Fitz had recovered within a few days. Thanks to Elwin’s care, his injuries hadn’t been too serious.

But Sophie remained unconscious, and Fitz wasn’t sure if she was ever going to wake up.

The thought caused his chest to constrict, his emotions triggering the shadow flux and making it impossible to breathe. Once, Elwin had rushed over, thinking Fitz was injured, but there was nothing the physician could do except offer him a sedative. Everything Fitz was dealing with was happening internally, now that Sophie was on Death’s doorstep.

Sophie was strong, he knew that. And she had fought for her life many times before. But it was different this time, and Fitz wasn’t sure how to explain it, but some part of him knew this wasn’t going to have a happy ending.

Sighing, he stood up, fighting the waves of dizziness as he stood next to Sophie’s cot. She was deathly pale, the dark circles under her eyes more prominent against the ashiness of her skin. She lay almost completely immobile, her body still, her chest rising and falling ever so slightly. Her features were schooled into something neutral, and Fitz couldn't tell if it was an improvement from the shaking and twitching. At least before he had known that some part of her was aware of her body and reacting to the pain.

Fitz dared think she looked peaceful, now that the blood had been cleaned off and various parts of her body were neatly bandaged. Tentatively, he placed a shaking hand to Sophie’s temple, fearing her to be so fragile that she would break under his touch. Taking a deep breath, he opened his mind to hers.

Just like the last time he had entered her mind, it was dark and empty on the surface. He could feel her consciousness lingering, but it was fading day by day. “It’s me,” Fitz thought, tears welling up in his eyes. “Sophie, it’s me.”

Recently, it had been harder to see inside her head. He repeated it once more, putting a little more force behind his mental voice. With that, he felt her mental walls break down, flooding his mind with images. It was chaos. Fragments of battles, places, and people appeared before being lost in the sea of Sophie’s thoughts. Just like yesterday, the day before, and the day before that, it seemed as though Sophie’s mind was sifting through her life in random order. He saw Silveny and the twins, Lady Gisela in the blizzard, the Neverseen symbol on the arm of a cloak. More than once, he saw himself. In the past few days, he had seen his eyes staring back at him, through Sophie, more than he had in his lifetime of reflections in a mirror. Her mind was disorganized, and despite Sophie’s photographic memory, all of it was blurry. Everything sounded muffled, and it was hard to make out the words of conversations.

A few days ago, when Fitz had first checked her mind, Sophie had appeared to be replaying recent events. As the hours passed, more events were brought up, blending with fragments of images and memories. Faster than Fitz would like to have admitted, Sophie’s mind descended into confusion. After that, things had started to become quieter and out of focus. Now, Fitz felt helpless as he felt Sophie fade away from him, like grains of sand slipping through his fingers. Though he had tried, there was nothing he could do except watch as Sophie disappeared in front of him physically and mentally.

A voice startled his consciousness back to the real world, and Fitz turned around to see Elwin with fresh bandages in his hands. His hair was messier than usual, and instead of the usual fun ties he wore, this one was green. It was the same rich hue of the grass, of emeralds. The same rich hue elves wore in mourning.

“She’s still alive,” Fitz rasped, voice crackling from disuse. “She’s still in there.”

Elwin sighed. “I know, Fitz, I know. But barely.” He helped Fitz back to the chair before taking his place next to Sophie. Carefully, he unwrapped the old bandages. Fitz caught sight of burnt flesh and red welts before he had to look away. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Elwin disposing of the bloodied bandages. Despite his best efforts, Fitz felt tears forming in the corner of his eyes and blinked them back.

“She’s gonna be okay,” he whispered. “She has to be.” He didn't know who he was convincing more, Elwin or himself.

---

“No, Sophie, no no no.” Fitz knew he was crying, but he didn’t bother to try and hide it. “Please, Sophie. You’re stronger than this.” His voice was barely a whisper, but it was all too loud in the quiet of Sophie’s fading heartbeat.

Two more weeks had passed, and Sophie hadn’t gotten better. Fitz had finally become well enough to return home, but he spent most of his time at the Healing Centre by Sophie’s side.

Inside Sophie’s head, one memory was on replay. It was dark and out of focus, and the sound was so distorted Fitz couldn’t make out the audio. But he knew the memory Sophie had latched on to. It was that day in the San Diego Natural History Museum, when Fitz had discovered Sophie for the first time. Through Sophie’s eyes he could see himself pointing at the newspaper and gesturing towards her. He saw his face when Sophie had used telekinesis on the lamp post, when he had grabbed her hand and teleported her to the Lost Cities, and when he promised to return the next day.

In Fitz’s mind, he remembered seeing Sophie for the first time. She was surrounded by classmates, though she lingered near the back of the group. Her head was down, and he could see the cords of her earbuds through the blonde hair covering half of her face. When she looked up and met his eyes, Fitz was taken aback by her eyes. They were a warm brown, and even from a distance he could see the flecks of gold in them. They were captivating and secretive, reflecting something Fitz couldn’t quite name. He realized at that moment that if this was the girl he was looking for, he was screwed. So screwed. Because she was beautiful.

And that girl, that beautiful girl, was dying right in front of him.

With every passing second, the memory in Sophie’s mind dimmed, matching the quieting of her breaths. Her chest was rising and falling so softly Fitz could barely tell she was breathing at all. Fitz sat there, watching every one of her inhales and exhales, grasping for thin threads of hope that danced just out of his reach.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

A beat, in which Sophie missed a breath and Fitz’s heart caught in his throat. Tears were falling freely now, and he intertwined his fingers with Sophie’s cold ones.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

…

Silence.

“No,” Fitz whispered. “No, no no!” His voice rose to a shout. “Elwin! Elwin!” He was yelling now, the desperation in his throat so thick he almost choked on it. “Elwin!”

Elwin came rushing into the room, his glasses askew. “What? What’s wrong?”

“Sophie,” was all Fitz managed to say.

Elwin went pale. He placed a finger on Sophie’s wrist, feeling for her pulse. He shook his head back and forth, muttering under his breath. He snapped his fingers, creating orbs of light and examining Sophie’s motionless body, his eyes glassy. Finally, he looked up, meeting Fitz’ gaze. “She’s gone,” Elwin whispered, his voice cracking on the last word.

Fitz couldn’t breathe. He felt as though someone had a hand around his ribs, crushing them. He could hear his heartbeat in his chest, its pounding filling his ears and drowning out the sounds of Elwin’s crying. Tears blurred his vision, and feeling his legs give out under him, he collapsed on the chair next to Sophie’s cot.

For a second, he was angry, angry at himself and the Neverseen and the world. She didn’t deserve what she had been through, and she didn’t deserve this ending. He felt the anger flare, threatening to consume him, but it quickly died down again, overtaken by the aching, stinging, agonizing pain and sorrow he was drowning in.

In that moment, all he wanted to hear was Sophie’s voice. He wanted to see her golden-brown eyes gazing back at him, wanted to feel the heat beneath her blushing cheeks, wanted to see her smile. But he couldn't, and he wouldn't, ever again. That girl he had fallen in love with, with her flushed cheeks and incredible mind, was gone.

Sophie Foster was gone.

tag list: @sophitz-week @steppingonshatteredglass @dragonwinnie-kotlc @enbies-and-felonies (lemme know if you wanna be added or removed <3)

#aaaah I thought I had already posted this oops #I think this is my longest oneshot ever #yay!!!!#kotlc ship weeks 2020 #sophitz week #fitzphie

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