#None of this is a joke btw im extremely unwell and grieving. Crisis mode has passed at least for now but it's not good
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I think something is maybe broken in me. Not in a self loathing way but like. Broken bone except its my ability to engage with the things I love
#I can't play pokemon. I can't bring myself to draw. I can't be with our chickens. Writing is hard and I get very little from it#I think I'm losing grip with my rational thinking to a degree. I keep thinking I have to make something better that counts so I can have#Something worth Sacrificing and being able to sacrifice that would let me go back in time and fix everything. I want to fix things. Please#None of this is a joke btw im extremely unwell and grieving. Crisis mode has passed at least for now but it's not good#But yeah I don't think of it like I'm a broken or worse person I think of it like. I've lost the ability to want certain things and it's#Kinda fucking with me
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