#Nobody can stop me. A promising pilot for a series that sadly never appeared this is a fun ep about a secretary at an insurance firm whose

[x-ximenas]

Midnight (Pt. 2)

Prompt: Midnight - 5SOS. A bit of Stay - Post Malone

Pairing: Female!Reader/Roger Taylor

Warnings: Mentions of sex (I don’t go in full detail, but there are big innuendos), sad sad things  and my terrible grammar and punctuation remember English’s not my first language.

Word Count: 3,488 words

A/N: So sorry for taking this long to put this up, been having some trouble with my finals, but I survived!! If you liked this bit, I’d love to hear some comments! If you’d like to be added to a taglist for upcoming parts comment, dm me, ask me… just communicate with me!

A/N pt.2: Like most of the time, I took a few literary liberties, there are some movie things, there’s some real stuff, so… yeah.

A/N pt.3: If you’re looking to read some Brian stuff, I have a multipart story (pt. 1, pt. 2) -sadly not finished- but if you read it and like it I’ll do my best to do something about it.

// Part 1 // Part 3 //

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The light was streaming through the almost translucent curtains, warming the room up nicely; birds were chirping at each other, content at today’s weather, thankful for a sunny day instead of the typical foggy grey-ish looking one. It looked as if today was a promising day, one to spend outside, walking in a park, maybe having a picnic with your friends; a day to fall in love and to be truly happy even if you were just having a lazy day with your lover.

Roger woke up due to the light that burned his eyelids, indicating that it was early in the morning and that he had to leave before Y/N woke up. Last night was different to him, it felt different at least, they rarely talked about that kind of transcendental stuff -the future, you know?-, they rather just joke around, as if they were real friends, as if they weren’t naked under the covers and they were just lazing. 

Last night felt special, he reckoned, they seemed more connected than usual and Roger was okay with that, but simultaneously he was really scared about it, he didn’t tend to form substantial bonds with the people he kept this type of relationships, he rather just do what his body craved for and leave, no more words required, just the carnality of the whole ordeal. But with Y/N was different, there were so many interesting things that he enjoyed about her, and unlike the other woman that he frequented, he had to work to get to her, she was unique because she was herself and nobody else. So why was he so afraid?

With a sigh, he looked over his shoulder, Y/N was still very much asleep on the other side of the bed they were still lying on, small snores slipped from her mouth intermittently, she looked calm, a similar feeling resting on Roger’s chest as he gazed at her with tenderness, a feeling that soon was replaced with pure guilt.

He stretched his arms over his head and stood up wanting to crack his back but stopping so that he wouldn’t wake her up. Even though he had considered staying multiple times he always decided against it, so as usual he just grabbed his things from where they laid randomly on her floor and took them to the hallway, where he started to dress himself in the clothes he found on the way out of her flat.

Like most times, guilt rested on the pit of his stomach making him feel fidgety and uneasy, he hated leaving and he hated lying. He groaned as he rubbed his face with both hands, last night repeating in his head, the question, her skin, her lips, and how she opened up her soul, he was really stupid for ignoring such raw moment and even more for not speaking up.

“Say you’re mine” He groaned, his head lulling forward in concentration, sweat dripping off his face, mixing with hers as it cascaded down the valley of her chest.

“I’m yours.” She moaned into his ear, earning a grunt in return as she clawed at his back, surely leaving some red marks.

The small pang of pain apparently edged Roger as he responded in an animalistic manner: “Yes, you are.”

“And I’m yours” he mumbled, before kissing her, such mumble was lost by the feeling of each other’s lips and the slapping sounds their bodies made as they rocked against one another, the headboard moving in harmony.

He's never felt more alive...

He looked around her flat, taking everything in, truly second-guessing if he should leave or not, but his mind was suddenly taken off the topic when his eyes caught sight of a little notepad lying on her countertop, a pen next to it. A thought crossed his mind and he decided to listen to it, so he grabbed the notepad and pen and wrote down a simple sentence for Y/N to read once she wakes up.

As if a note could make his departure any less hurtful, as if it could cover all the things he was keeping from her.

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Mirroring Roger's wakening, Y/N woke up with the tender touch of the unusual rays of sun grazing the exposed skin of her back, echoing the touch of Roger's coarse fingertips, even in her sleep she swore she could still feel his touch. Unlike earlier in the morning the birds have ceased chirping and the only hint of their presence were their silhouettes intermittently blocking the sunlight; they were basking in the gift that was the sun, its appearance was bizarre, so when the clouds decided to let the star come out and play, nature sung along to the tune that the light gave off.

Even though her brain already knew that Roger was no longer laying next to her, the ghosts that danced on her skin made heart hopeful, she longed to find him in the same place he was in when they decided to fall asleep; reason why when she turned her body on herself and face the other side of the bed, her fingers stretched in search of her partner's body heat, yet she found nothing but coldness and the empty bed, leaving a similar feeling on the centre of her chest. It's amazing how, after all this time, she can still keep her hopes up.

Y/N's hand mindlessly patted around the place where Roger used to rest, and with a saddened sigh, and after finally giving up, she lied on her back, her hand coming up to rest on her forehead, the feeling of emptiness spreading throughout her body at a much slower pace than pleasure spreads out. With a shake of her head, she decided to begin sitting up on the bed, firstly using her elbows then the heels of her hands and when she finally was in a comfortable sitting position she moved her body closer to the headboard as to lean her head on the cold surface. 

Yet another sigh escaped her lips as she rubbed the tiredness off her eyes, she didn't necessarily know why she was tired, maybe it was the outcome of last nights events or... she was tired of running around in circles, chasing Roger endlessly on this ridiculous cycle. Now, she groaned in frustration. Y/N had found herself stuck in yet another series of emotions, as of lately her feelings have ranged from love and appreciation to despair and anger, Roger really had her fucked up.

She swiftly threw the scarce covers that were left on her to the other side of the bed making her shiver, consequence of the quick exposure to the sudden gust of air that came through her open window. Her arms flew up to her breasts in an attempt to cover herself both from the cold and the physical vulnerability related to being naked. And like that, she made her way to her bathroom, despite being in her own flat that little walk felt as if it was emulating the popularly known "walk of shame". 

Without much going through her head, she started to get the shower ready for her liking, the water hot, but not hot enough to burn her skin red. As she jumped under the constant beating of the water her mind went numb and her actions quickly switched to auto-pilot, she wasn't up to giving the Roger situation more thought, knowing that if she let her head keep weaving this fantasies she will end up hurting herself even further, parallelly, she also knew that picturing tragic and saddening endings to this thing they had going on wasn't any good for her mental health, either. She was perfectly aware of how her mind could wander off and she was afraid that if she let herself do so, she might end up facing Roger and finally wrapping things up before they wrapped themselves, not a happy outcome, though.

Finally turning off the water of her shower she stepped out of the fog with a towel loosely wrapped around her chest as she held another towel to her hair, giving it a soft yet lazy massage as if to dry it up. On her way out the bathroom to her room, she quickly exchanged the hair towel with a brush, carefully unknotting the mess that was her hair.

With a huff, she opened her closet doors, looking for something nice to wear on an equally as nice day. She was going out with Kat and Donna once again, just this time they decided it was wiser to meet in this sweet little café before heading to Biba instead of meeting at a pub to watch Y/N's lover perform. She quickly threw on her underwear and some bell-bottom brown suede pants, a white button-down sleeveless shirt with a barely-there flower design; and for shoes, a pair of heeled brown and beige suede loafers.

She took a quick glance on her full body mirror, trying to make up her mind on how many buttons she was going to leave unbuttoned. After making up her mind, she was begging to the gods that the mark Roger left wasn't visible if she were to bent over a bit or if the flap of the shirt were to move slightly. Huffin out, her eyes quickly diverted to her face -she decided to ignore the hickey, it was there, fuck what people thought- her hair was brushed out, parted by the middle, sho all she did was brush the front strands behind her ears with the help of a white headband. As she got closer to examine her face, she quickly made up her mind to not over-do her make-up, she'll just brush her eyebrows, add some black mascara to both her top and bottom eyelashes and paint her lips a soft hue of pink.

With a shake of her head, she made her way to her small living room, deciding it was rather wise to water her plants and feed the cat before she went out with the girls. As she poured water on the mildly dry soil she muttered soft encouraging words, complimenting the way that their flowers bloomed or how green their leaves were, caressing the beautiful plants that made her home look lively, plants that she took care of religiously, keeping her somewhat grounded and making her small flat look lively, turning it into a home of her own. Next, she opened the door to her flat, knowing that it was almost certain that Whiskers was standing patiently outside waiting for her daily treat, although Whiskers wasn't hers, she loved him endlessly, he was a lovely cat, endlessly spoiled by everyone that lived in the building.

After leaving a small plate with food outside her door, she took her bag and left the flat, locking the door behind her -a thing that she had initially forgotten about-. As she walked down the street, she took notice on how despite it being sunny outside, a nice gentle breeze of air run from one side of the city to the other, and how when she got tired of the burning sun and she decided to hide herself in the shadows the buildings casted she got cold. Still, she made her way to the café near Biba that the trio frequented, her stomach groaning in protest as she realised she hadn't even had the care of taking an apple or some other snack to eat on her way to the café.

When she got there, she found herself facing the quiet little café, Donna nor Kat anywhere to be seen, so she made her way to one of the tables in the back, a waiter not far behind her, offering a menu with a soft smile. She quickly scanned the menu, pretending to make up her mind in something to eat, the waiter just stood there with a smile, Y/N went there quite often and she always ordered the same thing, he was taking her order in consideration, because the people behind the bar were already making her usual.

"I'll have... I don't know, the usual I guess" she answered, there you have it, bingo!

Everyone in here knew her already, the trio had the tendency to hang out there every once in a while, sometimes they just went there to relax or study, other times they reunited to chat and eat, prepare themselves before heading to Biba or whatever store they had in mind that day.

Y/N waited for her friends to arrive, they usually arrived on time, but strangely enough, the pair were taking a little more time to get there. You see, Kat and Donna were roommates, which made hanging out way easier for the three girls, they could all chill in Kat and Donna's place and have Y/N share a bed with one of them. Also, that meant that when they decided to go out Kat and Donna arrived simultaneously, and usually quite punctually, maybe they overslept.

Though Y/N's thoughts were quickly diverted when she saw Roger walking past the café, a know quickly forming on the pit of her stomach and maybe even her throat when she saw the same brunette from the night before running to catch up with him right in front of the large window showcasing the place, right in front of Y/N. It all seemed like a very poor written joke and she was having none of it, especially after seeing how the brunette's hand looked for the warmth of Roger's, smiling up to him and getting a smile in return... why couldn't she be her? It wasn't fair, it wasn't right, she felt played with, was she just that? A toy?

The clearing of a throat broke her out of her sad daze, as the waiter from before looked at her with an understanding smile, placing her black tea in front of her along with a croissant and a pain au chocolat; she smiled in return, though the smile never reached her eyes and the hunger she once felt when she arrived quickly dissipated into a feeling of nothingness, sickness even.

With a mumble of a 'thanks' she started to play around with her food, adding sugar and milk to her tea, even though she didn't really think she was going to drink it, too afraid that it would propitiate her sickness. But she didn't need to eat or drink anything to make the queazy feeling in her stomach grow, no siree, all she needed was to see Roger and the girl walking into the café, holding hands, finger intertwined.

Her gaze never left him as her eyes quickly watered, and he felt her eyes on him, how couldn't he? He had seen her the moment they stopped in front of the little place, he knew this place from Y/N's stories, he was well aware that this place was Y/N's little place and here he was, standing with another woman by his side, oh how he felt stupid right now, he knew he shouldn't have walked in there, he knew he was making a huge mistake, but he wasn't able to stop Gina -that was the brunette's name- from entering the warm looking café.

Roger had met Gina not too long ago, he had bumped into her at Biba to be exact when looking for clothes with Freddie and Mary. He wasn't planning on talking to her, but she was too kind and too sweet, and he was too stupid, he never dared stop her from talking. And one thing let to the other, and next thing you know they were seeing one another, Gina didn't know about Y/N and Y/N didn't know about Gina, until know, and he could feel the betrayal in her eyes without even looking at her, he had turned Y/N down so many times, too scared to fuck things up; but here he stood with another girl under his arm, a real douche.

Y/N's hand shakily rose, calling for the waiter, she was taking her food with her and she was heading back home, she couldn't stand the thought of being near them, she didn't know if it was out of pain and hurt or maybe even disgust. He quickly arrived by her side and she gently gave the food back to him, asking if he could wrap it up for her to take and if he could tell her how much she had to pay for it. And so he did.

He returned to the table with her food in a little bag and the bill for her breakfast, so she was quick to pull out some pounds, not caring for how much money she was leaving as tip, she was aching to leave and so she did, only bothering to write a quick apology note to her friends, she knew they'd understand.

As Y/N left the café, Roger finally dared to look at her and in doing so he could tell how badly he had screwed up. Y/N looked gorgeous, with her hair flowing down her back, barely being put back by the pearly white headband that rested on her head, her eyes, despite the sadness that had found its home there, were gorgeously framed by the darkened lashes, lashes that were starting to stain her lids, as they were wet from the tears that threatened to escape her eyes -he had made her cry, and it made him feel awful every time-; her lips that once were painted a light shade of pink were turning a paler shade by the second, as she was removing its colour every time her tongue darted out to wet the drying skin, same skin that was being bitten down as a way to anchor herself to stop the tears from forming. There she went, one of the most beautiful girls he had ever been with, he should've run for her, he should've chased her, but his feet felt heavy as his hand was wrapped around someone else's.

Y/N quickly hailed a passing by cab, wanting to get home as soon as possible, yearning to leave the awful scene behind, same scene that replayed in her head. Roger didn't kiss Gina nor anything close to it, but the proximity that they shared gave Y/N chest pains. She looked out the window absentmindedly as she told the cab driver were to take her, her fingers tracing small figures on her legs, trying to keep herself grounded. Don't cry...

As Y/N's gaze was kept on the outside, she took notice on how the weather changed, the sun that she was awoken by was no longer in sight, hidden behind the typical London clouds, it appeared as if rain was soon to approach but it didn't, it just taunted the brave folks walking around unprotected from the unstable weather. The birds that were once caught flying around had made up their minds and decided on heading back to their respective nests; the warmth that hung on the air had been replaced by stronger winds, leaving Y/N feeling cold not only externally but from the inside as well.

Y/N handed the driver some money and headed to her flat, her feet dragging as she went. The weather had indeed forgiven her, for as she passed the entrance to the complex rain started to pour. With a sigh, she got her keys out, only stopping herself from entering to pet Whiskers, who purred at the saddened woman, he could feel it radiating off of her and he didn't know what else to do to comfort her but this sole thing.

Once she closed the door behind her she fell to the floor, her back against the wood as she just let the tears roll down her cheeks, no sobs came out of her mouth, no sound escaped her, she just wanted to let everything out at once before pretending everything was okay. The living room's window was open, intensifying the lack of warmth in the place, she lived alone but never felt the solitude, not until today, the only company she kept was Whiskers, her plants and Roger, though she quickly realized she had to stop counting him as a company. The tears that were streaming down her face were leaving wet patches on her shirt and pants, not like she minded, but it made her shiver every time wind blew through the window.

She didn't know how long had she been sitting there, just crying her eyes out, but once she felt she had no tears left to cry she stood up, placing the cold food on the countertop and as she was about to open the bag her eyes drifted to a small piece of paper, lying out of place.

Sorry for leaving, dove. Maybe I'll stay one day... A future for the two of us.

// Part 3 //

[linandara]

My Last Jedi review

I like how this has been a bit of a "coming out" season: Serious, edicated, professional people suddenly post Star Wars reviews, sometime very critical, and I realise they really care, and are crazy life long fans just as I am.

Here is my contribution. I watched The Last Jedi (TLJ) twice. Discussed it with the family, then read other reviews. I did enjoyed quite a lot of it and may watch it again but my overall opinion is, sadly, negative. Spoilers are coming.

The biggest, greatest mistake is the lack of good strong relationships. Space is cold, but ALL previous Star Wars movies always had plenty of warmth from the the various forms of love and affection: between children and parents (Luke's towards his father, Anakin and his mum, Jyn Erso and her dad), best friends (Han, Luke, Chewie, Lando), siblings (Luke and Leia), teachers and students (Obi-Van and Qui-Gon, Obi-Van and Anakin, Luke and Obi-Van, Luke and Yoda), lovers (Leia and Han, Padme and Anakin). Where are any of these in the new movie?

Whatever was developing between Rey and Finn, Finn and Poe in The Force Awakens (TFA) is mostly forgotten. Rey and Luke are not getting along, which is particularly disappointing. Finding a lost close relative (father, sister) always was a Star Wars shortcut to developing a relationship and strong feelings. Alternatively, people spend years "in the same boat" and have got to the same point, when they knew and cared for each other. Rian Johnson did none of those. It seemed for a while that there was a spark between Rey and Ben Solo but it went nowhere when they parted. A glimpse of something between Finn and Rose was at the very end. A very short heart warming scene with Luke and Leia and that's it. I really liked the moment when Yoda said he missed Luke in his nicely mocking way. But all was just some rare raindrops in a wast emotional desert. Even through Luke had known Obi-Van for a day or so, he was so upset when the old man died. Yet Rey and his own sister didn't spared a tear for him. Like saying "this was for the best".

I really liked TFA and "Rogue One". I was looking forward to seeing TLJ a great deal. Now I like TFA less as its promises went unfulfilled.

Plot holes and apparent disregard for the laws of nature was another blow. Did rebels abolished autopilots? Why did they need to sacrifice pilots with their ships? How they better than the First Order then? Why can the admiral trust her soldiers and explain the situation avoiding a mutiny?

Creating a consistant fantasy reality or suspension of disbelief is essential to fictional stories. Only once before this was broken for me in Star Wars: in the Revenge of the Sith when Anakin turns to the dark side. His downward ark was badly written which was a pity because the first half of that movie was really good and strong. In TLJ this was happening several times! Leia floating in space didn't work. Lots of aliens were badly made (including Yoda himself). I thought we are past this with the modern technology! The "Luke milking an alien" scene was disturbing because in Star Wars it is often difficult to distinguish between intelligent and non-intelligent species. One of the frases Rey said to Luke sounded definitely awful. Why wasn't it retaken? The Luke's face when he was thinking of slaying teenage Ben in his sleep was so wrong, probably because Mark just couldn't believe his character, who saved Darth Vader despite all odds, would do that.

I think, the Luke's last stand and dying scenes were good. Well made, dramatic and original. I think, him projecting through the space rather than being here in person was necessary because he was already too weak to face Kylo Ren. That's the reason he never got back. He appeared to his former student and Leia younger, as he would look like before his exile, because he wanted to be remembered strong, proper Jedi, not a broken old man already dying far away, alone.

I wish it all happened in the next movie because I just have nothing to look forward any more. Unless JJ will have a lot of Luke's ghost appearances - which would be something new for the series. Luke was the most unique and alive character in TLJ. Grumpy, weird, but thinking and feeling. None of the young characters are good enough for me to care. Especially when Rey is now really nobody from nowhere, which is boring (unless Ben lies about her parents). And she is a "Mary Sue", which is boring again. Pity, because she had a good potential to be a great character after TFA. Ben has tantrums, which is funny but I can't take him seriously. Finn, Rose and Poe are just you average token generic good rebels, nothing much to say. They are nice and are played by good actors, but it's not enough. We need true heroes for these movies to work. Luke was a simple rebel character in the New Hope which never was my favourite Star Wars movie. But he grew steeply into a proper wise knight, which was the main point of the original series to me. Rian Johnson made him broken by guilt and fear, destroying everything he had achieved. That I could potentially forgive because he finally redeems Luke and brings my favourite ever fictional character back, when he returns to Leia and confronts Ben Solo. I wanted more so much - but instead he dies.

I really hoped Luke will leave his exile and go on a quest (several quests - even better) together with Rey, his new apprentice for years to come, building a strong relationship, whether they related by blood or not. When I've seen the casino pictures I thought by some reason that this will be one of their destinations, like great scenes with Obi-Van and Anakin, Obi-Van, Han and Luke, Rey and Finn in alien bars. Nope.

As Han dies quite suddenly and frankly pointlessly in TFA, a connection between the generations seems to be unfortunately lost. I think Han should have been very seriously injured but survived his meeting with his son for a better plot.

Lots of plot lines in TLJ lead nowhere. One can say this is what real life is but if the movies will be "nothing in particular happened on that day" what would be the point of watching them? Art is in selecting and prioritising what's matters, in making good stories, not simply copying the mundane.

There was so much of an introduction from Maz for the master code breaker - and then another one chosen. And then it all was unnecessary after all. A silly Rose monologue about evils of arms dealing and revenge on the rich, just to erase all that by showing that the rebels shop for their x-wing fighters at the same casino planet… Incidentally, were rebel generals so overdressed because they were planning to go arms shopping here after the battle? I loved the costumes and the jewellery (even hope to buy some replicas) but it was too much for the rebel situation. The casino planet, as Finn noticed, was beautiful - apart from some badly made aliens. And captive animals suddenly released in the wild are not likely to survive, Rose and Finn! Whole "rebels loose all the time" situation reminded me of Blake's Seven, which I find very depressing.

Were Knights of Ren got to? Phasma was easily killed without any chance to do or to say anything important. Characters which don't enrich the story are not necessary. It's not a tv series, time on the screen is pressious.

The sword battle in the Red room was very good and the way Ben killed overconfident Snoke was, I thought, excellent. Although unfortunately we didn't learn a thing about Snoke.

Unlike many critics I liked the humour in TLJ. Luke winking to C3PO, brushing dust of his cloak and saying to Ben something like "see you around" just before he died was good. The red sand planet was hauntingly beautiful. Riding the huge alien beasts was fun to watch althrough that whole part of the story was pointless. I liked Rey in the "dark side" cave but the scene didn't gave as anything apart from feeling weird. What is the dark side about? What is the attraction?

The movie is criticised for paving the way for merchandise to be sold. Rubbish. I wish me and my friends, teenagers in the Soviet Union, had any merchandise to cherish when we watched the Original Trilogy. Instead we had to stop the videotape and take black and white photos to have at least something.

The music score in TLJ was the worst of Star Wars. Especially painful because TFA and Rogue One scores were so good. Almost no unique tracks to listen, just a mishmash of old tunes plus something reminding totally childish Harry Potter music.

Another big problem is the meaning of good and evil. How Snoke got to Ben? Why did Ben chose the dark side? Why Rey didn't? It is good that Luke admits the Jedi Order's flaws to Rey but why didn't he went to the dark side knowing all that? This is a big problem for the whole Star Wars saga. In real life people do horrible things thinking they are doing good. Nobody "chooses evil side". So Snoke, a vilian for the sake of being a vilian, already was a mistake in TFA. I think it was Aristotel who said that confrontation in a story should be between relatives or former friends to keep us engaged. This is why Luke, Leia or Han are needed to oppose Ben. Unless Rey is Ben's cousin after all. An opportunity for a romance (which would bring some necessary viewer engagement) for those two young people, I think, is already lost as nothing even started so far, after two movies.

TLJ is very entertaining to watch but that's not good enough for Star Wars. For Jurassic Park or James Bond, yes. A Star Wars story needs a strong emotional connection with the viewer and the latest doing lots of thinking about "What is Good?" because of what he sees.

All the flaws were very surprising considering that movies are done by groups of people. Could somebody brave point the mistakes and the weak moments to the director? How so many "professional" reviews ignored them and why?

I hope JJ will rescue the ending of this three parter but not in a way in which the ending of Lost was done, ruining the series! And maybe in a few years time somebody will make good quality CGI movies or an Dragon Age Inquisition/Witcher-like choice game, either set in alternative reality or in between The Return of Jedi and TFA. To give Luke, Han and Leia a bit more screen time they deserve and to reestablish the good proper heroes they originally were.

Saying that, I think all movies, games and books should come with a waring "To avoid disappointment, write your own stories" ;)

So here's the list of Star Wars movies in the order I rate them, from the favourite and much loved ones to the less loved.

The Return of Jedi

Empire Strickes Back

Rogue One

Attack of the Clones

The Force Awakens

A New Hope

Revenge of the Sith

The Phantom Menace

The Last Jedi

Still, I think it's the best film series made so far on this planet and any one is far ahead (in my rating) of other sci-fi, adventure and fantasy movies I ever enjoyed watching. Honestly I tried to find other good stoies and other good heroes many times since I was 15. Maybe I will one day.