#Naturally I'll read more spoiler things and will have a warning attached

[astrxlfinale]

RULES!

ARE MADE TO BE BROKENNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

[whatgoesthroughmyhead]

Spoiler warning! A significant component to the ending of Adolescence of Utena is discussed here. If I were you I'd only read this after watching the show and the movie.

Okay, I need to talk about the Utena car, because I'm a huge car nerd, and its design is SO STRANGE. (I'll be talking about the car's first iteration, because it's the most developed and interesting version.)

[more pics of the car here]

To start, let's look at the recognizable/evocative shapes that are incorporated into the design. I see a high-heeled shoe as the central shape, and then the obvious horse head shapes over the front wheels. If the core shape is indeed meant to call to mind a high-heeled shoe, I take that as being symbolic of Anthy's feminine elegance, with a touch of "don't fuck with me" aggression in that sharply-pointed "toe." It makes sense that the cockpit area is designed more for Anthy, since she's the driver (and the only one with a key). Also that aggressively pointed tip suits Anthy because she is very much associated with swords, and she's become an empowered badass who's not interested in taking shit from anyone anymore. Also worth noting: in episode three of the show, we see Anthy & Utena's first dance, and Anthy is wearing high heels, so there's definitely precedent for this shoe imagery. And that first dance is significant; it's their first time joyously holding each other!

As for the horse heads, I take them as representing the regal/princely nature that Utena has aspired to for so long, as well as the raw, natural force of will that Utena has in spades (especially for her girl Anthy). Also, horses are transportation with heart. Horses get you around while also being sensitive, feeling creatures. Utena has big, deep feelings and care for Anthy, so this fits well. And one more point before moving on: trust and "oneness" between horse and rider are totally a thing, and these are themes that easily fit here.

Okay now to get into what's really interesting (to me), particularly because it's such a subtle and unexpected detail. The Utena car is front-wheel drive, not rear-wheel drive like the majority of performance-oriented cars are. This was a deliberate design choice. If you look closely you can see there are driveshafts attached to the front wheels, but not the rears. That means the power of the engine (Utena's heart) is directed ahead and pulls the car forward from the front, rather than pushing it from the rear. I have no doubt this is significant. Both Anthy and Utena are motivated by a "pull" towards a better future. Their hope is pulling them forward. Their motivation is not a fear-based push from behind, as awful—and arguably frightening—as the shit behind them may be.

Something else to note is: front-wheel drive cars tend to be more stable and easy/intuitive to handle than rear-wheel drive cars, especially for beginner drivers. If Utena had any deciding influence in what kind of car to become, it makes sense that she would choose a layout that would increase Anthy's chances of staying on course and achieving the desired outcome. And Utena & Anthy are still new to their relationship. An easy-to-handle, beginner-friendly automobile is a great choice in this instance, especially considering all the hardship Anthy has endured. Utena would want Anthy to have the easiest time possible with this dash to a new and unknown future.

Finally I want to highlight how the overall design of the car is strongly forward-oriented. The vast majority of what's going on—both in terms of design and engineering—is at the front end of this car. The tail end almost feels like an afterthought in comparison. As I see it, this emphasizes that Anthy & Utena are focused on what's ahead of them, and only minding what's behind them as far as is necessary, and no more than that.

The design of this car is inherently hopeful.

That's my take. Thanks for reading!

P.S. - I've just realized that if ya squint, the Utena car looks kinda like a naked man laying back, with his pointy dingus hanging out for all to see. So maybe there's some trans masculine imagery here too; I don't know. It would certainly fit with Utena's tomboyishness, and the big-long-dong second iteration of the car. Anyway I'll leave it at that for now lol.

[winged-wheel]

Undertale's First Hint at Self Denial

Spoilers for Undertale, I guess, but surely if you're reading this you don't need a spoiler warning for this game...

Howdy!

A simple look at my reblogs will indicate that I'm a big fan of Undertale Yellow, at least currently moreso than Undertale itself. But that doesn't mean I don't think about Undertale a good deal too. And while I'm not exactly an extreme lorehead or Chara superfan like some others are (god knows how many blogs there are out there who have THAT covered) I do like to think, sometimes, about the exact nature of Undertale's metanarrative, the themes the game intends for you to take away from it (and the ones that fans have read into it that may not have been intended but which serve as interesting and thought-provoking alternative interpretations), and my own stance on things. Chara/the first fallen human, both who they are (were) and what they represent, makes up a lot of that.

So, context out of the way, I realized something that maybe other people have as well but that I've never actually seen anyone put into words (though it's entirely possible if not probable that I've just missed it before lol).

If Chara, on a metanarrative level, represents you--both through the game's expectation of you to use your own name to "Name the fallen child", but also in a less literal sense your inner desire for completionism, addiction to increasing numbers, disregard for video games as anything more than short-time entertainment to be moved on from, etc--then the image of their final resting place, the patch of golden flowers that grows at the bottom of the fissure outside the Ruins, the very first room in the game, takes on especial meaning with regard to the metanarrative itself.

Undertale's metanarrative choice that it gives you, to either treat the game and its characters as real, deserving of respect, and worth being let go of to allow them continued freedom after completing a true pacifist route, or to lean into what Chara embodies and treat it as "just another RPG game", grinding for levels as would be "normal" in so many other worlds until you reach the Absolute, is a well understood one more than 9 years on from the game's release. None of that is probably news to anyone (or at least anyone who's cared to try and understand the game lol).

But it never quite struck me until now that the former--the choice to treat Undertale as "real"--is symbolized by Chara's grave. In order to do that, to care about and respect Undertale's characters so much that you're willing to forego almost all the concessions of a normal RPG, and ultimately content yourself with refusing to True Reset after the credits roll, you have to bury that part of yourself. You have to kill the desire within you to see what happens if you level up. To get stronger. Those learned traits and tendencies which have been established as the expectation by decades of video games past, even if you didn't grow up playing them yourself, have to be interred in the very first room of the game.

I'll draw no ultimate conclusions as to what that means literally with regards to Toriel and Asriel's attachment to tending the flowers there, and certainly none in relation to the direct characterization of Chara as a character within the story itself, as details are notoriously vague, few in number, and tend to produce interpretations that vary wildly from one another and, from some, have the potential to engender feelings of distaste or assumptions about others' "understanding" of characters (or perceived lack thereof). But the metaphorical significance of Undertale's first room being a burial site was something I hadn't quite considered on a conscious level until recently, and I feel like it might at least be an interesting thought to share.

'Til next time...

[avatarofwar]

i saw you talk about wolf a few times from sekiro and was wondering if you'd want to share more of your thoughts on him or sekiro as a whole, the game really interests me compared to other dark souls games so i wanted to ask

sorry for the late reply but oh boy do I have thoughts abt wolf. trying not to spoil the game, so I'm gonna refrain from talking about the story. might go into just restating known things about the game, but I'd much rather play it safe and not spoil the story

before going to that. the game is very much different from dark souls (setting wise, while taking place in a fictional country it is in a historical setting. I cannot comment on the setting properly bc I don't know much about the time period, however), most notably in the combat (primarily shifting from a dodge-centric playstyle to a parry-centric playstyle (significantly easier than dark souls/elden ring parrying, however), with dodges having significantly shorter i-frames and being very unreliable for dodging attacks). it's very different but something I really enjoy, even if I'm not as good as I am at typical soulsborne combat. it's really fun when you get the hang of it, and while I might not be The Best at it (which is mostly bc of how different it is from soulsborne games, so ofc I'm not as good at is as I am at the other fromsoft games I've played), it's something I can still enjoy

a huge thing about sekiro is the difference in how the story is told. in soulsborne games the story is something you have to figure out; progressing through the main path doesn't give you enough to piece everything together if you don't read any lore. with sekiro, however, the story is significantly more obvious, on account of the playable character having unique ties to the world and its characters, rather than going the soulsborne route of being one of many people (wording hard, but the chosen undead for example is no one special, just one of many undead trying to link the flame). it's a very different method of storytelling, but is still something really good. for as much as I adore having to actively hunt down lore and story in soulsborne games, it's also great experiencing story through natural game progression

wolf is also canonically disabled (loses his left arm at the start of the game) and has a really fucking cool prosthetic that is a whole part of the combat system (even though I personally keep forgetting to use it). so good for him. he deserves a prosthetic that can have deadly weaponry attached to it. like a mini-flamethrower. he deserves a mini-flamethrower, as a treat.

putting the wolf thoughts beneath a read more because this is getting long and I might spoil some stuff (mostly relationship with another character, I'll try to refrain from story spoilers. also spoilers in general, but there might be some), and he has definitely become a blorbo (additionally, content warning for abuse)

first of all. wolf makes me want to throw myself off a cliff and I mean this in the most positive way ever. he is great and I love him but man he needs so much fucking therapy and he doesn't even realise it (therapy probably doesn't exist in that time period, but besides the point). he is very much traumatised and has been heavily shaped by it and doesn't even know it.

prior to the events of the game (I forgot how long ago it was) he was orphaned by war and got taken in by owl, a shinobi and also a piece of fucking garbage. owl raises wolf to be a shinobi under the iron code, with the number one rule being loyalty to his father (owl), with his master (kuro, the divine heir) a close second (and also to give his life for his master if necessary. which is also a whole other thing to get into).

owl is very explicitly abusive. he raises wolf as a tool rather than a person, and that upbringing severely affects wolf as a character - he is an incredibly capable shinobi, but lacks any skills other than that; he does not know how to be a proper person, he is a loyal wolf, but he does not know how to be anything other than that. hell, without spoiling too much about the context, there is a cutscene in which owl actively attempts to guilt trip wolf, going as far as using fake tears (saying anything specific is very spoilery. this isn't even the only horrid thing he's done, but I'm trying to refrain from too many spoilers).

wolf canonically does not value himself without anyone to serve (we see this at the beginning of the game, as events prior to the start of the game not yet known about leads him to believe he has no one to serve, and thus no purpose, so he isolates himself from the world in a well for 3 years). while he does have compassion for others (most notable example being concern over victims of dragonrot), he starts off the game driven primarily by duty. he is loyal to a fault, willing to do anything for kuro, but also valuing his service to kuro more than himself (cannot remember the exact wording, but when kuro expresses concern for how many times wolf has died for him, wolf states that it does not matter as it was in service to him).

there's also the fact that wolf canonically eats uncooked rice and genuinely doesn't know - as a fully grown adult - you are supposed to cook it, which is... genuinely something awful if you truly think about it and what more it implies about his upbringing especially considering it's one of the most basic things you could learn how to make (just... says a lot about owl if you seriously think about it).

he is a loyal wolf, but he doesn't know how to be more than that. he doesn't know how to just... exist for himself, to be his own person separate of his duty and he doesn't even recognise just how fucked up it is, because how could he, when he was shaped into this as a child, when his own father wanted him to be nothing more than a tool to use.

I could say a lot more about his relationships with other characters (that are actually good people) and how it just. makes me lose my mind, but this post is almost 1k words. so, simply put, kuro genuinely caring about him makes me so fucking emotional, especially bc of owl; his father might be horrible and an abuser, he might not know how to be more than he was raised, but at the very least he can serve someone who actively cares about him and his wellbeing.

[owlyflufff]

Heyyy! I'm feeling a bit evil today, so I wanna ask some more controversial questions than I normally would (hehehe >:))

Anyway... What is ur least favorite ship in general (or just from haikyuu)? Or alternatively, what is ur least favorite character? Could u also tell us why? Thanks!! :)

Oh no TvT, I personally am not the biggest fan of discourse and don't want to start any in my inbox so hope you don't mind me answering more generally anon <33!

Warning that this contains spoilers for Jujutsu Kaisen and Sk8 the Infinity btw!

Least favorite ship

Simply, I have the biggest gripe with these two ships. Alternatively, I have a dislike for this type of dynamic in general:

Genuinely and respectfully, if you ship either of these two then I'll have to ask you to kindly unfollow my blog because I hate both of these ships with all my heart.

Before you say, 'you just hate them because of the age gap', and though I personally also don't like ships with big age gaps, no. No because there's more blantantly problematic things about these ships that are evident reason enough to dislike them like hello TvT???

The aesthetic of these two dyanmics is not 'hot' or is it 'enemies to lovers', respectfully it's just straight up odd and messed up. Sukuna and Adam have obsessive behavior towards Megumi and Langa respectively and I just can't see how people would find this appealing? Sukuna traumatizes Megumi via what he did to Yuji post fight (and if you know and are reading the manga then ;-;) and Adam just beats numerous of Langa's friends (and boyfriend-) while touching him in areas that are concerning and without consent (even if Langa semmed indifferent, it still doesn't take away how naturally weird it is). So for people to say that these two would work well as a ship or make wholesome domestic art of these two despite how concerning their actual dynamic is in canon, it simply doesn't make sense on my end I'm sorry :<<

Least favorite character

Adam. Genuinely Adam from Sk8 the Infinity, and it's sad on my end because I honestly believed he was a pretty good written villain, that is, if they didn't rush his redemption. Having done so though, his character just comes off as concerning to me even with his backstory. For one, as mentioned above he just has this odd attachment and behavior towards Langa. Considering them to be "Adam and Eve", he also just straight up touches and seduces Langa and it makes me so uneasy, not in the "whoah this is a well written villain because I'm unsettled of his presence" but just "dude stop.", it simply creeps me out TvT. Second, because Adam has fun in hurting/ beating people in his path like Reki and (spoilers ahead) when he hit Cherry with his skateboard. It's natural to expect something like that since he is the antagonist afterall however, if you're going to "redeem" his character in the last episode, at least give a resolution to it just as much. Whatever happened in episode 12 was personally rushed and the characters acted as if nothing had happened, pretty much allowing Adam to still be this weirdly possessive individual. Third, personally I believe I would have considered Adam a well written villain or at least appreciated him more if they didn't give him a redemption arc/ speedrun said redemption. Given that Season 2 is confirmed, they could have saved and built up a better Adam redemption arc for it rather than what was promptly given to us in the last episode of Season 1. Overall, I just really hate Adam and I think his writing was a bit of wasted potential most especially in the last episode. I always love a good villain that does evil for no reason, but Adam isn't a good example of it, he's just straight up creepy and obsessive, more so towards Langa who's still fairly young.