#Nardi Nuts

[one-of-us-blog]

Empress of Mars (Doctor Who S10E09)

Today Drew is forced to watch and recap “Empress of Mars”, the ninth episode of Doctor Who’s tenth series. After a surprising message is found under the ice of Mars, Bill and the Doctor head off to investigate. When they get there they soon find themselves stuck between a recently-awoken army of Martians and a platoon of Victorian soldiers intent on plundering the red planet for riches. Can the Doctor avoid bloodshed between these two drastically different species? 

Keep reading to find out…

Eli, your latest recap felt like a real cliffhanger! Until I read it, I’d kind of forgotten how dramatic things got there at the end... Sophia’s really digging her heels in here, and I can’t wait to see how you feel about the resolution to this story. The one thing I’ve always hated about this two-parter is the Rose/Myra thing... Rose’s line about Miles being off with students has always made it clear to me that this is set before Miles/Nick went back into witness protection, and it drives me nuts that the producers couldn’t make sure this aired before “Miles to Go”. I mean, I guess the whole European trip could be a cover to explain Miles’ absence, but why would Rose need to keep up that sort of charade to Blanche, who definitely knows the truth about Miles’ situation. Man, don’t get me started. Also, the Rose/Miles Ray/Myra thing has always annoyed me, too, for some reason. I don’t want to sound too down on this episode, though, because there are a lot of things you mentioned in your recap that I always get a kick out of, like Rose’s demand that Dorothy use proper bike safety and the part where Dorothy assumes Stan is being kinky when he tells her to stick her finger in the potato. But for right now I’ve got my own recap to bang out, so let’s get to it!

Buttocks tight!

Episode directed by Wayne Yip and written by Mark Gatiss

We start out with an establishing shot of NASA that was lifted straight from an episode of the 1994 hit ReBoot, and then head inside to see everyone busily being busy. Some scientists are getting a long-awaited transmission from a probe called Valkyrie which is headed for Mars, and they’re very excited to see some shots of our big, red neighbor. They’re surprised by the arrival of Bill (who’s sporting a very funky fresh ponytail which I highly approve of), Nardole and the Doctor, but thanks to a flash of the psychic paper any confusion is brushed aside. One of the scientists explains that Valkyrie is using a new camera to probe under the ice at Mars’ polar caps, and right on cue the transmission arrives. To the Doctor’s delight, and everyone else’s confusion, they see GOD SAVE THE QUEEN spelled out on Mars.

After the opening credits, we see that the Doctor is, of course headed for Mars. Not present day Mars, though, because according to the TARDIS the message they saw at NASA was written in 1881. Bill is surprised to learn that humans arrived on Mars during the reign of Queen Victoria, but the Doctor assures her that they did, in fact, not. The TARDIS lands under the planet’s surface, and a bespacesuited Bill, Nardy and the Doctor head out to investigate. Nardole says the TARDIS is picking up life signs around these parts, and sure enough the trio soon comes across a lit campfire. Bill assumes that since there’s fire there must be oxygen and is ready to rip off the helmet of her spacesuit, but the Doctor isn’t keen on that idea. Nardole takes his helmet off despite the Doctor’s warnings to Bill, and it turns out Bill was right all along. There’s plenty of oxygen to go around on Mars, somehow, and Bill and the Doctor ditch their helmets, too.

Bill asks one of the many important questions here: how’s there oxygen on Mars? The Doctor admits that the indigenous people of Mars were accomplished engineers, but that doesn’t explain a whole lot. Bill wanders off a ways and falls about 17 miles down a tunnel. The Doctor does his best to assure her that they’ll get her out of there and sends Nardole to the TARDIS for some rope and climbing equipment. As soon as Nardole’s inside the blue box, however, it takes off on its own, leaving Bill and the Doctor stranded. The Doctor rushes to where the TARDIS once stood, and sees an Ice Warrior of Mars coming toward him. Bill wakes up after having the wind knocked out of her, and finds herself facing a decidedly modern-looking door. The door opens, and a man in a Victorian spacesuit walks out and greets her cheerfully. The Doctor uses his knowledge of Martian culture to keep the Ice Warrior from killing him. Another Victorian human arrives and the Doctor thinks he’s going to shoot the Martian, but it turns out the Martian is his man Friday.

Nardole can’t get the TARDIS to cooperate, so he goes to the Mistress for help. Bill and the Doctor are both brought to the human’s camp. I colonel explains how he was stationed in Africa and happened across a space ship one night. Inside he found the comatose Friday, and asked for the colonel’s help to get him back home. In exchange, they got to claim Mars in the name of Queen Victoria and mine it dry for its minerals and riches. Things haven’t gone as well as they’d hoped, though; their ship crashed when they got to Mars, and their supplies are running low. Bill wonders what Friday’s getting out of all of this, and the colonel explains that while he was comatose on his ship the rest of his species went extinct. The colonel insists Mars is just a dead red rock, but the Doctor seems skeptical.

The Doctor gives Bill a lesson on Ice Warriors, only to be interrupted by Friday. The Doctor asks why the Martian really came back home, and Friday says he’s simply old and spent. His ability to quickly catch a plate that was about to fall reveals that he’s not as old and slow as he might want him to think, though. While all this is going on, the Victorian soldiers are busy mining Mars. Friday helped them make a special laser drill to dig with, but so far they haven’t found anything. One last blast of the laser reveals a hidden tomb that the soldiers stumble into. They run back and get the colonel, and Bill and the Doctor join them all as they investigate the tomb. The Doctor’s skepticism has turned into a decidedly bad feeling for him; he recognizes this as the tomb of an Ice Queen, and he knows that sometimes these tombs were part of a complicated hibernation process. The Doctor’s worried Friday has been using the Victorians to reawaken an Ice Warrior hive, but the Brits are too proud to consider the idea that they’ve been duped by their pet Friday.

The Doctor is stuck in an awkward position; in this situation the humans are invading the Martians’ home planet, but on the other hand the Ice Warriors have vastly more advanced technology and weapons and they’ll annihilate the humans if they wake up. Better hope that doesn’t happen, right! One of the soldiers plots to plunder precious stones from the Ice Queen’s tomb and escape Mars in the repaired spaceship, and this, naturally triggers the awakening of the Ice Queen, Empress Iraxxa. She kills the soldier, and Friday’s excited to meet up with Empress Iraxxa again. One of the soldiers takes a shot at the reanimated Ice Queen, and she wipes the floor with him. Friday arrives, and it turns out he’s the Empress’ sentinel. He was always supposed to return home and wake her up, but he took longer than he was supposed to. It took him 5,000 years to get Iraxxa up and running again, and she did not plan on snoozing that long.

Soldiers pour in, and the Doctor begs to be allowed the chance to mediate this situation before anyone else dies. He explains to the Ice Queen that the Mars she knew has died, and she can’t survive without help. Iraxxa prefers in put from another lady, so she asks Bill what she thinks (#LadiesDoinItForThemselves). Bill points out that the humans saved Friday’s life, but this only angers her as the Victorians made Friday their pet. The humans draw their guns at the sign of her temper, and one with an itchy trigger finger fires a completely ineffective shot at the Empress’ helmet. The Doctor begs for the Ice Queen to show mercy, and she agrees; she’ll be merciful by giving the humans a quick death (*AIRHORN* BAD BITCH ALERT *AIRHORN* *AIRHORN* *AIRHORN*). The soldiers run away and the captain, going against the colonel’s orders, prepares to use their giant mining laser as a weapon against the Martians. Bill barely manages to avoid Friday getting blasted by the laser, and in the process the tunnel between them and the Ice Queen’s tomb caves in.

The soldiers, thinking the cave in will keep them safe from Empress Iraxxa’s rage, celebrate. The captain reveals that the colonel is a failed deserter and not the hero everyone thinks, and takes control of the soldiers. The Doctor tries to convince him that the Martian hive will be active now that Iraxxa’s on her feet, but the captain’s too much of a cock to take his warnings seriously. The captain has the disgraced colonel, Bill and the Doctor thrown in the bridge. Iraxxa, meanwhile, has already awoken half a dozen hibernating Ice Warriors and is sending them off to kill some Victorians. In the brig the colonel admits that he deserted out of cowardice, and the captain has been blackmailing him to keep his secret. The Ice Warriors sneak up behind the soldiers and begin slaughtering them, while another Martian appears in the brig.

The captain sacrifices his men so he can escape on the repaired ship, Empress Iraxxa awakens more and more soldiers, and it turns out the Martian in the brig is Friday. Friday begs the Doctor to work with him to establish peace. Friday breaks them out of the brig, and the colonel, being a coward, immediately runs away to save his own skin. Bill volunteers to distract Iraxxa while the Doctor gets a plan in motion. Bill and Friday try to show that Terrans and Martians can live together, but the Ice Queen’s done with all that and prepares to blast Bill to heck and back. Luckily, though, the Doctor’s had all the time he needs to get his plot going. He points the Victorians’ mining laser towards the ceiling of the cavern and threatens to blow it up, burying the Empress, her Ice Warriors and all the humans under an avalanche of snow and ice from Mars’ surface.

Iraxxa seems like she’s on the brink of giving into the Doctor’s bid for peace, but then that cock of a captain shows up and holds a knife to her throat. He needs a Martian to get his ship off the ground, and he’s going to use the Ice Queen to escape. Luckily the not so cowardly colonel arrives and shoots the captain, saving Iraxxa in the process. Iraxxa is impressed by the colonel, but still plans on killing him. He says that’s cool, because he was supposed to be hanged for desertion a long time ago. This way, he figures, maybe his death will save his men (and Bill and the Doctor). Iraxxa decides not to kill him after all, saying that if he pledges allegiance to her she’ll make sure he gets a glorious death in battle one day.

A little while later, the Doctor sends a signal out in the universe that lets any nearby space-fairing races know the Martians and their new humans friends are stuck on a dead world and in need of a lift. The Doctor tells Bill that the Martians do indeed survive elsewhere in the universe, and sure enough a message from an alien craft from the Alpha Centauri solar system arrives and the one-eyed aliens assure Iraxxa that she and all her warriors can hitch a ride off Mars with them. Bill, the Doctor and the colonel make the GOD SAVE THE QUEEN message on Mars’ surface as a visual marker for the Alpha Centaurians, and the Doctor assures the colonel that someday, somehow, people will know about the colonel’s time on Mars.

Right about then, Nardy arrives in the TARDIS. The Doctor is decidedly less than thrilled to see the Mistress at the controls of the TARDIS, and he tells her she’s going to have to go back in the vault. It seems the Mistress is more concerned with the Doctor’s welfare, though, and the Doctor’s not sure what to make of that.

The End

~~~~~

Well, I think on the whole series ten of Doctor Who has been a real hit parade, but this one didn’t do it for me. I’m not sure what it is about the species, but if I remember correctly I wasn’t crazy about the last episode that featured an Ice Warrior, either. I think Iraxxa was a real bad bitch, and I appreciated that, but there didn’t seem to be a lot of depth to her, or any of the Martians for that matter. Not that there was a ton of depth to the Victorians, either, to be fair. The colonel got his tragic backstory, but the captain was just evil for the sake of evil and the other soldiers we got to know were just cannon fodder for dramatic tension. I never felt super invested in the story, and overall this episode ended up feeling pretty forgettable for me.

I give “Empress of Mars” QQ½ on the Five Q Scale.

I know you’re on the edge of your seat for Eli’s recap of the next episode of The Golden Girls, “There Goes the Bride, Part II”, so you can find out if Dorothy really is leaving the squad for good, but never fear! That recap will be out soon, and after that I’ll share my recap of the next episode of Doctor Who, “The Eaters of Light”.

Until then, as always, thank you for reading, thank you for hibernating and thank you for being One of Us!

[young-jesus]

Tagged

I was tagged by @blvckshinxbi thanks homie!

RULES: 1. always post these rules! 
2. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. 
3.

write 11 questions of your own. 
4. tag 11 people.

@blvckshinxbi questions and my answers

1.where you all from? I’m from Canada a Indian reservation called York

2.worst nightmare? Had a dream where I was in a zombie apocalypse and the whole time I was just trying to find ways to kill myself. I don’t know what that means.

3.biggest fantasy? Being happily married with a beautiful family. 

4.favourite drug? Shit I don’t do a lot but I’ve never said no to lean tbh.

5. Ever been arrested?if yes,why? Nah, pulled over like over 10 times tho.

6. Are you’re parents proud of you? I think so, I’m a good boy who has his own place at 19.

7. Worst thing you’ve done that ur ok with saying? I had sex with 6 different girls in one night just to see if I could do it, I don’t think it’s bad but I know some do.

8.what do you think happens after death? Nothing tbh.

9.what cartoon/anime/celebrity character describes you best? Scrat from Ice Age. He’s a young man just tryna get his nut like me.        

10. Favourite song atm? Still XO Tour Life by Uzi

11. If you could go anywhere, where would u go? My girl always wanted to go to Disney Land so I’d like to take her there.

MY QUESTIONS:

1.Do you like to make people (can be a specific person or just at random) angry just to make them angry? 

2.Do you eat ass?

3.Do you like to get lit at a party or hanging out with friends or are you more of a kicking it at home person?

4.If there’s one thing you would change about yourself what would it be?

5. A fictional or real person that you think you describes you? 

6.Ever been in a physical fight (fights like bro fights or in a hockey game don’t count)?

7. Worst thing you’ve done that your okay with saying?

8.Are you happy atm?

9.Do you wish you were sucking on some titty rn?

10. What’s something you want your significant other (if you don’t have one rn then for the future) to always know? 

11. Advice you wish you had for yourself this time last year?

I tag @narcisupial @smalljessamine @grandpaq @cryingblogger @blurrysthe1 @nu-nardis @obijuans-ho @theairbrushedcountess @nunicorns @zeldatrash

[s3mag]

Listen Up folks.

I don’t care what you drive. I don’t care how you drive it. But if you’re not smirking when you drive it, giddy behind the wheel, solo on a back road… if you don’t look back after you park it… you’re doing it all wrong man. It’s that simple.

If you’re building for likes and followers, it’s not even yours anymore. You’re making your happiness & satisfaction dependent on others. Others who could honestly care less about you and the hundreds of other cars they’ll double-tap on today.

Why surrender that? Why let go of your control? Why should anyone else have a say in what’s going to inevitably piss you off one day… and give you goosebumps the next? After all, you’re the only one slapping the gears on a parkway bank. You’re the only one chucking wrenches trying to figure out wtf is keeping it from starting up.

This Guy likes to Party

Well Toolin’s got this figured out. When I first saw John Toolin’s rat Nissan Hardbody, I thought, “Ok this guy likes to party.” And I was damn right. Almost every mod, replacement part, ding, polish, sticker, and license plate on this brown baller was put on by John or his homie Kevin. It serves as a reflection of his attitude and personality. And it comes together so naturally. The humble nature of someone who just wants to enjoy the build as it unfolds.

In its early years, this original LHD Nissan Hardbody was slinging parts for Harry at Firestone. Once it reached its angsty teen years, the pickup left the shop, and was nearly junked thrice by previous owners… including John’s brother. But John saw the heap as an opportunity to go nuts for donuts.

Finding replacement steering parts added up quick, but Toolin came across the opportunity to get a half-cut RHD Silvia.

“Why the f**k not.”

The D21 became one pain in the ass after the other, but Toolin made sure each fix became an upgrade in some way… with in-house fabrication, and/or by any means necessary. With a glass half full mentality – Toolin turned headaches into fun garage time with homies. I think that’s the key element that gives anything it’s rat style.  

To me, the rat style build has always been about working with what you’ve got… to build what you want. This Hardbody is no exception. S13 SR20DET, 180SX front subframe, S14 Silvia rear subframe, Mustang Cobra rear rotors, S50 Skyline mirrors, Jack Daniels coolant reservoir… the vicious list goes on. And while on paper, it seems like a Frankenstein machine (pronounced fronkensteen), the custom tubed front and back brings everything together so fluidly.

I hope this kind of mindset carries on throughout our scene. That “I’m gonna build for me and not for likes” attitude. And I hope it stays authentic. Fuel your creativity, by not limiting yourself to what you see. And push beyond your own creativity, if by nothing else, just out of morbid curiosity & pure determination. After all, that’s the mindset that built this community from Day 1… and it’s what will keep it alive long after any of us. In the words of Sir Toolin himself, “It’s dope, does burnouts, and shoots flames. The End.”

  ENGINE

Nissan SR20DET

ARP head studs

APEXi .8mm headgasket

GSC S1 cams

SP 3-row intercooler

Custom stainless intercooler piping

Dual NGR Type S blow off valves

AEM FPR

Turbosmart manual boost controller

ISR radiator, fans, shroud, and hoses

CD009 transmission

Autotech motoring adapter plate

Competition Clutch stage-4 clutch, pressure plate, and flywheel

CBF top mount Tremec with reverse lockout

Nismo shift knob with extension

Carbon 1-piece drive shaft

10-gallon fuel cell, foam, and extended neck

Quantum 380lph pump and filter

Five-0 1000cc injectors

Circuit Sport fuel rail

8an braided feed and return fuel line

Twisted Motion iron man exhaust manifold

Twisted Motion GT2871/t3 hybrid turbo

Precision 46mm wastegate on 24psi

Freddy intake manifold

Custom low mount power steering bracket

Custom fender exit exhaust

Jack Daniels coolant reservoir

Circuit sports oil pan

New OEM harness

New rear main seal

New timing chain tensioner

New gaskets throughout

Lightweight alternator, power steering, and water pump pulleys

Nismotronics ECU

GM map sensor

GM idle-air-temp sensor

Tuned for e85

CHASSIS / SUSPENSION / BRAKES

Custom frame front and rear

180SX front subframe

BC extreme drop coilovers 16k/14k

Strut tower tow hook

S14 Silvia rear subframe

S14 Silvia vlsd

Megan tension rods

Gktech bump steer tie rod ends

Gktech S14 inner tie rods

Kazama rear upper control arms

Kazama toe arms

Nismo rear sway bar

Solid subframe bushings

New OEM front/rear 5-lug hubs

Remanufactured Z32 brakes

Maverick Motor Sports dual caliper bracket

Mustang Cobra rear rotors

Wilwood 3/4” hydro e-brake

OBP floor mount pedal box

Wilwood brake bias adjustment knob

Tilton clutch reservoir

All new 3/16” brake lines to ISR braided lines

ChaseBays power steering kit

17×9 +20 BBS RS wheels

RHD conversion with 180SX column and re-sealed rack

180SX key

Boss hub and Sparco spline quick release

Nardi wheel

Custom aluminum dash

New black front end and S10 lip

S50 skyline mirrors

Custom hood struts

Aerocatch hood pins

Rust painted with vinyl door lettering

Tubed front and back

License plate tailgate duck bill

Custom aluminum door cards

Subway ring door handles

4×4 “widebody”

  ELECTRONICS

DEFI advance zd with working speedo & odometer

VDO fuel level gauge

Prosport fuel pressure gauge

AEM x wideband

Switch panel for lights, turn signals, wipers, etc

  Text by Jesse Rivera    Photos by GP Media

I’m SXey & I Know it | Rat Style - RHD Nissan D21 Hardbody SR20DET | In the words of Sir Toolin himself, “It’s dope, does burnouts, and shoots flames. The End.” Listen Up folks. I don’t care what you drive. I don’t care how you drive it. But if you’re not smirking when you drive it, giddy behind the wheel, solo on a back road… if you don’t look back after you park it… you’re doing it all wrong man.

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