#NYO SWEDEN??? GOD DAMN

[timomoe]

tell me your dennor thoughts please!! i am starved for new dennor content 💖

So let me outline some stuff about how I perceive norway real quick, as well as kinda outline how all of this happens, this is gonna be a LONG ass post.

That man is a weirdo. Like I love norway, but he is WEIRD! He adds butter to his coffee, he sees animals on the street and has full on conversations with them, bc he's magic and everyone knows he's magic, sometimes he pretends trolls and fairies are talking to him so that he doesn't have to join in a conversation/task he does not want to do, and who's gonna tell him he's wrong if Sweden or Iceland aren't around to contest it?? Denmark and Finland can't see or hear them.

And what's more, this is out of the weird section, Norway has a very delicate and dainty sort of build, but babe, that's a sleeper build. He looks elegant and pretty in a very feminine way, looks like he doesn't have much muscle, doesn't look like he's athletic, but by god he is and you wouldn't expect it at first glance, but that's the way Norway wants it. It makes people underestimate him. But rest assured! He's scary!

And Denmark, of course is a golden retriever and built like a semi-truck.

Now, let's go back to right around the time that Christianity was starting to become prominent in the Nordic regions, Norway was PISSED. Ever since he was a little kid, he was trained up in magic because everyone who looked at this kid, with his white hair and black eyes, knew that "Yeah he's not normal, not human, and he can talk to the otherworldly, he's staying with us" (Us is the spae wives, prophets and seers in the old norse religion.)

And he devoted his whole life to it, right? Like he spent like well over 200 years mastering different methods of divination and magic and ceremony/ritual in order to help lead his people in it. And now they say they're christian. A religion he doesn't care about, and has bad associations with because (gestures to the crusades, christians burning and destroying norse sacred places, etc.)

So norway sees the writing on the wall, looks around at everyone and was like "Well it's been fun, but fuck you guys, I'm out" and dude just disappeared into the mountains for like 200 years. The motivation for this was religiously based but also based on the fact he wanted nothin, not ONE damn thing, to do with the politics of this new world. He wanted to be alone in the forest. Of course, he did make sure to send down some little fantastical creatures - typically of the more frightening variety - to keep an eye on the goings-on of his people. For a long time it was chill. He was in the mountains surviving, casting runes, having a good time being alone.

and then one day one of his little spies are like "Hey they want to arrange your marriage"

And Gunnar, who was probably busy sacrificing an animal for a Blot just pauses, his hands covered in blood, and he looks behind him at the thing that came to tell him the bad news, and man that must have been horrifying.

But he asks what they're talking about, and he kinda explains the Kalmar Union to Gunnar, and that the humans have decided to join the nations in marriage instead. Originally, they wanted to marry Sweden to one of the norwegians, but he was already married to Finland at the time, so they decided hunting Gunnar down to force him to marry one of the Swedes was probably their best course of action (mind you there are THREE MORE OF THEM, I hc the 1p!s, 2p!s, Nyo!s, and Nyo!2p!s to all be individual, present representations.)

And the little guy tells Nor that there are people coming to hunt him down now, and he just doesn't have time to prepare for this, maybe a day. And he tries to fortify and set up magical traps but he just can't put up enough in time. Like they sent Sweden (who if you know anything about my hcs for this time, was vicious, violent, brutal, and compassionless in this era, thank you brainwashing by the government) and 2p!Denmark, Viggo, and 2p!Norway, Kjell - along with like 15 individual human soldiers. And Norway himself is a very dangerous man and can be absolutely BRUTAL, but he can't take 18 dudes at once.

So Sweden burns his house down, they drag him back down the mountain, Norway learns that Kjell is doing this because he really wants to marry one of the reps, and he was promised her hand, if and ONLY if, he brought Gunnar to them. Gunnar was set to marry 2p!Nyo!Sweden, Lillemor, and the ceremony was 1 week after he got there.

Now, Lillemor was a good wife to him, and she was genuinely one of his only friends while he was there, but they weren't romantic at all. But she was one of the only people, her and Denmark, who stood up for him when people constantly tried to brush him off. They tried to make him known and make people listen to him. Norway both loved and hated this. He wanted to be listened to because the people around him saw value in his words, not because people deemed more important made them listen. He held just a little resentment towards Lillemor and Mathias for their influence, but he never voiced this.

Aside from Lillemor, of course, Gunnar's only friend at the time really was Mathias, who stood up for him, went out of his way to talk to him, and spent time with him, regardless of whether or not it seemed like Gunnar wanted to spend time with him. Initially, he thought that Denmark was annoying as hell, but over time his goofy laugh and good nature grew on him.

After about a decade, Denmark was Norway's closest friend. And one night, after Mathias snuck out once again to go talk to norway in the middle of the night, Gunnar mentioned how much he wished he were free again. He talked about how he adored Lillemor and Denmark, but he hated this confinement. He missed the mountains and his freedom. He wanted to go home.

And denmark almost instantly started plotting to steal him and get him out of the castle. It took months and a lot of careful planning, but he managed to do it. He was able to steal money, supplies, horses, etc. and get Norway tf out of there. He got in huge trouble for it, and they probably had Kjell and Ber kick the shit out of him for it, but man... At least Norway was free.

At least Norway was free.

Of course, eventually was snatched and dragged back kicking and screaming by his hair, after having killed at least 15 people on the way down the mountain, probably still covered in blood. Mathias wasn't allowed anywhere near him again, and they were kept in two separate places, but Denmark being Denmark, didn't give a shit and wanted to see his best buddy again, and would constantly sneak out to go see him. Would scale walls n shit to make it happen. One of these visits, about 3 years after Norway was recaptured, was when Norway confessed his love for him, and against Denmark's better judgement he stayed with him that entire night, slept with him, and fell asleep with Norway, forgetting the dangers of getting caught, and man they were pretty heavily punished for this, but Denmark decided yet again that he was gonna get them out of this, somehow, some way, but before he could really get another plan together, Norway was able to do so. Norway sent him a series of letters in a language only they could speak, like imagine pig latin but worse and more complicated.

Dude stole all kinds of things, bribed important people to keep quiet, threatened others into silence, stole horses, a SHIT ton of money, supplies, and winter clothes, and he stole Denmark in the middle of WINTER and dragged them off into the Norwegian mountains near Bergen. The winter was really hard that year, ofc, and they struggled to survive, but the snow covered their tracks, and the mountains kept them safe.

They built a home there and lived together for like 300 years. No one in that span of time could find them at all. They were like ghosts. The only reason anyone found them after that was because they willingly left them. And by then Norway's marriage had been annulled, and he was free, so the government wanted nothing to do with them. So what did these mfs do?? THEY WENT BACK TO THE MOUNTAINS.

"We built this house and have been married here for longer than the kalmar union existed, that's home now" basically.

And uh. Yeah, they still live there. Still "married".

Despite what a lot of Dennor would lead ppl to believe, Norway is probably the one wearing the pants here. He's the one in control of finances, bc if he wasn't den would spend it all on legos, probably makes a decent wage because his government pays him to stay away from it (Norway's terrible in government settings, is a menace.) and all sorts of other things. Denmark is his golden retriever bf, basically. But he does also contribute well to the house, makes good money, is the one that does house repair and such. They raised iceland together, I'd say. Very cute. Probably have 3 cats.

But that's their love story, baby just say yes. Anyway good night

[js2-hetalia]

Can’t believe it’s been a whole damn year since I created Hetalia Tomodachi Life. So I thought I’d make a little list of things that happened in the game that made me laugh, or get mad, or something. (Warning: it’s long!)

1. China is a dirty old man who pursues young women. Especially Nyo!Russia. He went after her at least a dozen times before she got married. Then he just started picking random girls left and right. For those familiar with Vinesauce Tomodachi Life, he’s basically Karl, except he actually gets the girl a couple of times, only to break up. His boy charm score typically sits at the -200 mark.

2. Denmark has been my best friend since the very beginning. Early on, everybody on the island, including us, shipped us together and wanted us to go out. I, the look-alike, wanted none of that, and foiled every single attempt. I got so mad that I made a song about it. But anyway, HTL Denmark is even cuter than canon Denmark. If I had to besties with anyone, I’m glad it’s him.

3. Estonia was a typical school nerd (still is) and Spain, the “baddest of the Bad Friends,” was his bully. Nowadays, the two get along fairly well, even making an agreement to leave their past behind them.

4. Nyo!Macau, a character with no canon personality whatsoever, actually wound up as one of my favorite characters. After I gave her the Meadow interior, I thought to myself that it kinda looked like the standard Windows 7 (?) desktop. Combined with her voice, I got it in my head that she was the personification of Windows, so I changed her name to that. Later, she started dating Ladonia. Fitting, since he’s the Internet future boy. But she’s WAY older than him. So then I got it in my mind that she was an old cougar. So. Her name’s now pronounced “the old cougar,” although one of her phrases is still “Error,” a leftover from her Windows days.

5. Austria had a jester phase. Seriously. I even made the game pronounce it “Jestria” for a time. Basically, I gave him a jester outfit and he just kept wearing it all the time. I eventually got sick of it and made him wear women’s clothes and other ridiculous outfits, which he still does to this day.

6. Nyo!New Zealand is all white. Empty white interior, white-painted hair, and only white clothes. It is white on white on white. I honestly can’t remember why I started doing that, but I did, and I will not stop until I have given her every white hat and outfit that I can possibly give her. Somehow she still hasn’t made it up to the top of my most pampered list.

7. Sealand is permanently known in my head as “Piss Stain.” There was this one time when he had a fight with New Zealand. He was wearing an all-yellow outfit (a body suit, I think), and I thought to myself, wow, he looks like a piss stain amidst all this white. Ta-da! Piss Stain. I think it fits his canon bratty personality, too. I can see England calling him that.

8. Rome x Liechtenstein is a thing. And they are boring as fuck, despite all odds. They don’t do anything of interest, and so far, they’re the ones who have had my least favorite baby by far. And they’re showing no signs of breaking up anytime soon. Fuck. At least Nyo!Russia x Finland was interesting, even if they pissed me off for reasons I don’t know.

9. Oh by the way, Nyo!Russia is married to Nyo!Belarus. HUZZAH!!! Now have a fucking kid already.

10. Fart Voice Bulgaria. I don’t know. I gave him the lowest-pitched but also squeakiest and, well, fartiest voice I could. I ran with it. I also love fucking around with how the game pronounces things in his voice, making his angry phrase nothing but a string of euro signs. It just sounds like “Yurururururuurururururu.” It’s hilarious. He has a son with a voice that’s just as glorious. I made a song about it. Bulgaria is proud of Nathan’s voice and likes to show it off. Nathan himself is ashamed.

11. Nyo!Germany and Romano were the first couple to get married and have a baby. Their first baby was all right. Nothing too exciting. Their second baby was a tree-hugging hippie.

12. France is called “Daddy.” It was a stupid joke. But one of the news clips made it amazing. The news about how a burger with a random-food ingredient completely fails, and it’s at the restaurant called “Big [islander name]’s.” It randomly picked France’s name, so the restaurant’s name is pronounced “Big Daddy’s.” It was so glorious I had to make his full name Francois “Big Daddy” Bonnefoy.

13. Luxembourg was given the catchphrase “High-claas!” That is not a typo or misspell. I accidentally typed “claas” instead of “class” and I liked how it sounded, so I kept it. lol

14. Nyo!Iceland is a wannabe fish. (Or a mermaid. But I like “wannabe fish” more.) She has the Seabed apartment and her worried phrase is “Time to spawn!” because I’m a weird fucker like that.

15. Somehow Japan always raised his hand to the really dirty Quirky Questions. Nice to know, dude...

16. EGYPT IS BORING AS FUCK GOOD GOD. I don’t like any coupling with him in it. Seriously considering deleting him even though he’s a mainstay. Also, I figured out a way to make him say “...” without the game pronouncing it as anything (normally it says “dot”). There’s period marks in the Greek keyboard. Those will stay silent. All of his phrases are “...”

17. Nyo!South Korea is also known as “That Bitch” with a trademark sign. Thing is, the game actually says “trademark sign” in her catchphrase. It’s soooo good. Plus, her best friend is Nyo!Poland, a catty girl herself. They’re absolutely perfect alpha bitches together. Her husband Australia was likewise given the catchphrase “She’s MY bitch!” They had two beautiful children.

18. Nyo!Spain is a teacher who’s hot for at least one of her students, and has no qualms about asking them out.

19. Spain and Nyo!New Zealand make the CUTEST babies. Too bad I have a strict two-per-couple limit. Also that they, uh, divorced. (Their son, Elijah, is a wannabe supervillain. Or is he just a wannabe...?)

20. There are two Carters. That’s Seychelles and Hong Kong’s son. The first one is forever stuck as a traveler on This Damn Island (who even streetpasses around here). The second one was recreated and lives on the island, but has a love for travel.

21. Winter is still the funniest character by virtue of how out of place he is.

22. For the longest time, I just typed the characters’ names and let the game try to pronounce them, and just run with it. (Now I actually try to get the game to pronounce them as correctly as it can.) This is especially hilarious when listening to the game mangle Finland’s or Chris’s (Russwe) last names. But even some of the simpler-seeming names get mispronounced - Natasha, notably, gets pronounced as “NAT-uh-shuh” without further fixing.

23. I made sure Nyo!Latvia’s name got as many A’s tacked on to the end as I could. It’s still funny.

24. Greece started life as a furry. Now he’s not, at least not openly. I remember calling him into his apartment when he was in a good mood, and as I’m searching through the menu, he says “Let’s get laid!” and I completely lost it. I did NOT remember giving him that phrase. The other great phrase of his is “Fuck Sadik!!1!” which he pronounces as “fuck SAD-ik exclamation point one.” It’s hilarious in his slow, monotone, dead voice.

25. Switzerland is another character whose voice is hilariously out of character for him. It’s high-pitched and the pitch curves upward at the end of his sentences. He’s still as pissy as he is in canon, with phrases like “GET OUT!!!” and “I’ll shoot!” This combination makes him one of my favorite islanders.

26. For whatever stupid reason, I gave Liechtenstein surfer dude slang for phrases. She also lives in the Ring (like, a boxing/wrestling ring) apartment. Maybe it’s just me, but Liechtenstein is my favorite character to make out-of-character.

27. Serenity, born to Japan and Nyo!Norway, is by far my favorite baby. Owen, Chris, Elijah, Alyssa, Sophie, and Nathan are really good, too. The HTL babies are my OC’s and I will cherish them. Don’t know if I’ll make fics with them or not...

28. Nyo!Lithuania is known as “Heartbreaker.” Why? Because she divorced Denmark on Valentine’s Day, and she’s only been dumping guys ever since. Although she has hung on to Romania for a while now...

29. Finland is known as “That Finnish Ass-Hall” (can’t say “asshole” in the game). I hated him for dating Nyo!Russia and being extremely persistent about marrying her. I don’t even know why I hated them so much, I just did. He still has his phrase “Fukk off, Yao!” from the days when he was chasing after her booty.

30. Nyo!Canada used to have the phrase “Please, Daddy...” because she dated France (”Daddy”) for a while. I’ve since changed it because it was weird, plus she’s married to Turkey, but I might change it back...

31. I originally planned for Nyo!Ukraine to be a total friendless loser, even giving him the phrase “I’m a loser.” Mostly because of my headcanon that he just has no confidence in relationships. Except, he made a lot of friends really fast, and it was Ripper, Nyo!France, and Monaco who were the friendless losers for the longest time.

32. Italy is living in the haunted mansion interior. For reasons.

33. I’ve noticed that in Judgment Bay, characters tend to form the same groups over and over again, and I’ve made some songs out of the results, such as “Slaughter Planet Earth” (all three Italy brothers, Australia, Nyo!Lithuania, America, Nyo!Prussia) and “Just You and I Here” (America and Nyo!South Korea, and later Owen).

34. Oh, yeah. There was that series I did with Egypt and Sweden where the lyrics to all the songs were just “..........................................” and “mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.” One of the songs crashes every time lmao.

And that’s all I have for now. Damn, I invested a lot into this game.