#NOW WE'RE REALLY COOKING LADS

[spookydetective]

holy FUCK I LOVE EPIC RHE MUSICAL

[arcadia-of-pluto]

Casually calling them "daddy" LADS

Word count; 1,913

Themes; slightly barely there suggestive content, fluff, established relationship

Warnings; mention of "daddy" ofc, fluff

Notes; So these turned out more fluffy than I originally intended...honestly, thought they'd be more smutty, but I've learnt that it's really difficult for me to write smut. Or at least, smut with little to no context before it all goes down. I might eventually write some smuttier drabbles, but regardless of smut, I hope you enjoy this little thing I wrote!

You saw that there was an old trend about calling your boyfriend “daddy” and videoing their reaction so, obviously, you wanted to give it a try…

Xavier 

It's been almost a year since you and Xavier started dating– and it was a wonderful eleven months! He told you everything about himself. What his future with you was like, all of his feelings throughout the centuries, and you listened. You wholeheartedly believed him, because it would be one hell of a lie if it wasn't true…and you didn't think Xavier had the time or energy to come up with a complex lie like that. 

But even if you now know, time moves on. There's not much you can do about your future self, so you can't really change the future in that way though…Xavier's here now, in the past, and that's all that matters to you. 

Anyway, today was just a normal day as any. 

You were sitting at the counter, keeping a close eye on Xavier– who was attempting to follow, yet another, cooking tutorial. The man was desperate to cook a decent meal for you. His heart dead set on making you something edible for your upcoming year anniversary…and while that was cute, you also wanted to mess with him. 

You push your cup just out of your reach and make a big show of trying to reach for it, before sighing loudly. 

“Daddy, can you pass me my drink please?” 

You can hear the clang of a spatula hitting the floor and you watch Xavier’s body comically whip around to face you. 

“What?” His head cocks to the side as his wide eyes were set on your face. “Say that again..”

“Hmm? I said ‘Xav, can you pass me my drink, please’.” You copy his head tilt and he quickly shakes his head.

 “No, no you didn't.” He takes a few steps toward you before grabbing your hand in-between both of his. “Say it again.” 

You couldn't resist his sweet puppy dog eyes, so you hold back a smile as you meet his eyes. “I...called you daddy.” 

“Really?” He seems unusually excited. “So are we…?” His gaze lowers to your stomach and you can’t help the giggle that slips from your lips. 

Gosh, he was so cute. 

“Baby– no, no. We're not pregnant.” You run your fingers through his hair with a smile on your lips. “Are...you disappointed?” 

“Mmh..” Xavier hums thoughtfully for a moment before he shakes his head. “No. We can just make it a reality later. No need to rush.” 

Zayne 

You and Zayne have only been dating for six months, but it felt like much longer. Having known each other since you were little, you both had always been close– well, your definition of close and his were probably different. You always thought of him as a friend while he tried to keep a distance and thought you hated him. But time brought you both back together with him as your primary care physician. 

The two of you had been flirting up until his birthday and finally made it official once he blew his candles out on the cake you made for him. It was a sweet time, but that was six months ago. 

Now, though, you really want to fluster the man. 

He always embarrasses you and makes you feel nervous, but you never get to see him that way. Sure, his ears will turn red and sometimes he won't meet your eyes when you get too intense with him, but you've never seen him absolutely shocked. And you just wanted to see one look of surprise from him. 

So, what did you decide to do? 

You decided to casually call him "daddy” as a joke.

That should definitely go over well. 

Zayne is seated behind his desk at the hospital, sorting through papers as you longue on his sofa. Your eyes continuously glancing toward the windows to make sure the door was shut and the blinds were closed. 

“If you keep staring at the door, you just might burn a hole through it.” Zayne says, though he didn't even look up from his paperwork. He was attentive like that and probably already knew you wanted something or you were ready to go home. And he was right. 

“When are we going home…daddy?” You ask as you kick your feet in the air behind you. You were on your stomach, resting your cheek against your arms as you watched his expression…which didn't change at all. 

"Just give me a few more minutes, angel, and I'll be done.” Zayne pushes his glasses up with his index finger and clicks his pen, jotting down a few notes. 

“I–” You puff your cheeks out with a small sigh and decide to keep going with it. “I want to go home now, daddy.”

“Didn't I just tell you to be patient?” Now Zayne finally looks up at you with one of his brows raised. “I'll deal with you when we get home.” 

Rafayel 

It's been four months since Rafayel asked you out. Four months since you tugged Rafayel down into the bath with you, which set off a chain reaction of a steamy night, followed by him asking you out the next morning; he also complained that you both went out of order, but he wasn’t too upset when you continued where you left off…

Now, though, you moved out of your apartment and to Rafayel's home, ‘Mo Art Studio’ at Whitesand Bay. 

It was definitely odd at first, but it was a good change of pace. Always being by the ocean, able to take your morning walks together on the beach and collect seashells. You had a whole collection on your desk at work. He'd always give you the most unique and prettiest shells, saying “only the best for his cutie”. 

He was also so easy to fluster. 

You immediately knew you had him wrapped around your finger every time his ears would turn red. That same crimson slowly made its way from his ears to his cheeks, all the way to his whole face. So you assumed your little ‘prank’ would also have the same effect. 

You were sitting on a beach towel in the sand with an umbrella blocking your eyes from the bright sun. In front of you was Rafayel, painting your visage, with an easel. His hand deftly moves across the canvas as he sketches the outline for his new painting. 

Lately, you are the only thing he can paint. Always asking you to stop what you're doing so he can run and get his sketch pad. You could be doing something so normal and mundane, but he'd be struck with the inspiration to record your very image. 

As much as you loved it and thought this was very sweet, after almost two weeks of this…You wanted some form of payback. 

“Hey, daddy, can we take a break for a second? It’s really hot out here.” You squint your eyes to try and see Rafayel's face, your hand fanning at your body because you, seriously, are hot out here. 

“Huh?” 

It's like Rafayel is frozen in time, or buffering. He's just blankly staring at you with a confused expression on his face until his pencil drops into the sand. That's when he quickly stands up  and makes his way toward you. 

“Again.” 

Now, it's your turn to be confused. 

“Raf, what–” 

“Not that, say the other word again.” His ears were red as he crouched down in front of you, a look of determination in his eyes. 

“No– you're making it weird!” You put your hands on his shoulders, trying to put some distance between him as your face turns red. 

“Please, I really need to hear you say it again! I'm seriously going to die if you don't.” There's your overdramatic fishy. 

“Fine, but just this once.” You grumble, turning your head to look away from him. “Daddy…” Though you say it as low as you can and Rafayel groans, tilting his head back. 

“Louder.” He rests his forehead against yours. “Come on, cutie. If you don't…I might want to change that to my new nickname.”

Sylus

It's been about…a year? Yes, definitely a year since you and Sylus started dating. Well, you both have differing opinions on when exactly you started dating. Sylus claims it was the moment he laid eyes on you in the N109 Zone, while you claim it was only about six months ago– which is when you and Sylus made a bet. 

It was a bet where if he came back safely from his mission, he'd leave you alone. He wouldn't bother you anymore, wouldn't talk to you, contact you, anything of the sort…and you won, but you didn't realize he'd actually do it. So whenever you seeked him out to make sure he was safe, and he ignored you, you realized that maybe you did want him in your life. 

This led to you running across the street to him and jumping into his arms like this was a hallmark movie, and you claim this was when you officially started dating Sylus.

But between us, you just agree with Sylus when he says a year, because if you don't, he'll pout for the whole day. 

...And today was one of those ‘pouty Sylus’ days. 

You went on a mission that was probably way too dangerous, even though you told Sylus you were going to slow down on your Hunter's work. But you couldn't just ignore endangered civilians. If any of them would have died, that would've been too much for your sympathetic heart to handle. 

And even if Sylus understands your reasoning, he's still upset that you left without telling him– having woken up to a cold bed without you by his side sent him spiraling into a panic. 

So, when you got home, you noticed he was sulking in the kitchen as he made dinner. 

“Sy…” You take your shoes off by the door, nervously fiddling with your fingers as you tentatively walk into the kitchen. Standing behind the counter, you sigh, “I'm reeaally sorry...” 

“If you're reeaaally sorry, then help me make our dinner.” He says, not looking up at you and that doesn't make you feel any better. 

“Okay..” You finally step past the counter and you look around. “So…what do you need?” You were trying to figure out something– anything that could make Sylus feel better when a thought comes to your mind. 

Most guys probably like it when their girlfriend calls them daddy…right? 

“In the cabinet, top shelf. I need a bottle of garlic powder.” 

Okay, you got this. 

You take a deep breath and open the cabinet, straining your arm to try and reach the seasoning bottle, but your fingertips barely brush it and knock it over. “Shit…” You swallow back your nervousness before continuing, “Daddy, can you grab it for me?” 

The room fills with silence for a moment, but then you hear Sylus chuckle. 

“Sure, kitten.” 

Your back suddenly feels warm as a firm chest presses against it and Sylus reaches up from behind you to grab the bottle. 

“I ask you to do one simple thing and you can't even do that.” Sylus chides, clicking his tongue as he pops the bottle open to pour some into the pan on the stove. 

“Da–”

“If you think a few empty words will make me feel better, kitten…you've got to try a lot harder than that.” 

I'd like to say, this is definitely one of my better drabbles– one of my favorites, in fact!

I have like...six more ideas for drabbles and then I'll need to come up with some more. Like these new cards and Rafayel's student photoshoot event really had me thinking of how seriously the LADS men would take roleplaying– and that spawned a whole different drabble idea, so you can definitely look forward to that!

I'm trying to come up with new ways to do my drabbles, so that's why I did a little prelude before I started writing for the guys. Please let me know any feedback yall have for me! Especially with the coloured dialogue, I'm not too sure if I like it, but it seems really pretty and probably makes it easier to tell who is talking apart. (I won't use it for my fic though, only the drabbles!)

Anyway, I have a small personal project I'm working on this weekend so I probably won't be able to write any chapters for my 'Divisa' fic, but I'm still going to post chapter nineteen of 'Twist of Fate' and try to write at least two more chapters since I'm only on twenty-three or so.

I hope you all enjoyed these drabbles and I hope yall have a great night/day! ����

[we-rice-boi]

✨️You know what I can't stop thinking about? 👯🏽

Now, hear me out: a tall MC (like 6'3") in heels who knows how to use a whip and is performing burlesque (the strip tease kind) for the LADS MLs...

WARNING: MDNI/ Ageless Bios DNI Suggestive content, Poly LADs (slightly), GN reader (despite the example, it's just a rough visual) & Unbated writing!!

Here is a rough sketch of the idea and a few references:

Stay with me here!! Let me cook, PLEASE!!

What I'm thinking is that you, as the MC, play the ringmaster role in the show. You present the dancers and keep the audience entertained in between performances. During this time, you're in a full ringmaster suit (think of the reference at the top right of the picture). It hugs the frame, is shiny, and looks amazing on you. However, it's rather modest compared to the other performers. That is, until it's your turn to perform, and BOOM!!! COSTUME CHANGE!!

(aka the messy sketch above)

The guys are in the audience either sitting together or apart (depends on if you like poly LADS or not) and they have front-row seats to your burlesque performance, that they knew nothing about.

Rafayel 🧜‍♂️

His face is beat red but he can't look away.

Questioning if he's really as dominant as he claims to be (he'll never admit it)

If you interact with him with the whip or anything else, he will definitely jizz in his pants (or almost get to that point).

Bro literally has to try and waddle to the bathroom without getting caught.

"Renowned artist Rafayel seen sporting a stiffy after a sensual performance by Linkon's best hunter? Read all about it on page 9"

If you believe in Poly LADS, Sylus is helping him get to the bathroom while teasing the shit out of him.

He's acting like he doesn't have to go the restroom for the same reason 🙄

If he wants you to take control after that night, don't expect him to ask for it. Oh no no no.

In my opinion, this lil shit will turn the brat up to 100, till you get the memo and jump him.

It doesn't take long since you can read him like a book in the bedroom.

Sylus 🐉

Very much into this

The man already has 20 different whips on his wishlist, ready to be shipped at your say so.

His blush isn't as prominent but it's there and he isn't ashamed of it.

Freak recognize freak

If you interact with him during the performance, he'll try to hide how excited he is with his smugness but you can tell.

That man is vibrating in his seat like a rose toy on a Friday night.

Oh, he's definitely adding a few straps to that list.

And we're not talking about weapons here.

(I think I'm so funny)

By the time you guys get home Sylus already has a new kink sheet written up.

And by the end of the week, they're several new, ahem, 'toys' for you two to experiment with. To experiment on him specifically.

Caleb 🛬

Now I'm still unsure about how to write this man but I know a pathetic man whore when I see one (given he's only a whore for MC but I digress).

Is a lot like Sylus but is just as surprised as Rafayel.

This has got to be the one thing he didn't know about you and that catches him way off guard.

But like I said, the man is not opposed to it.

His imagination is already going wild with all kinds of fantasies.

Lowkey tapping into his inner dog boy.

He is the first to get on his knees and beg. Prove me wrong, you can't!

If you interact with him during the performance, he actively leans into it like a man in a daze.

You can practically see heart eyes on his stupid goofy face. Dumbass is drunk on your presence.

Think of those love scenes in those Loney Tunes cartoons.

My point is the minute you pull away, he nearly falls out of his seat.

And if he's there with any of his academy friends, like Gideon, he's never living that shit down.

If you like Poly Lads, Zayne has to pull that idiot back so he doesn't plant face-first on the floor.

Speaking of the responsible doctor-

Zayne ❄️

In all, he's quite impressed by the show and your part as the showman.

Of course, he shows that in his own stoic, Zayney way. Calm, composed and with his little micro expressions.

Ya, all of that is thrown out the window the minute your strip tease starts.

I saw someone say that they think Zayne's evol gets a little out of control when he's feeling strong emotions and ya, it gets a lil chilly in there.

Like no joke, it starts to snow a little during your performance and you use it to your advantage.

When you're interacting with him during your performance, his ears go beat red.

Zayne isn't sure if he'll pass out from shock or lack of blood flow to his brain first.

While the show is winding down and everyone's giving their applause, Zayne is left wondering how he's gonna get out of here without signaling his "problem" to the entire room.

He's glad he brought a coat today.

Xavier ✨️

Like Caleb, I'm still unsure how to write Our Little Prince but I'll try my best.

To be quite frank, if the situation doesn't involve you, meat, space (or the other MLs) he's falling asleep.

So any performance that doesn't involve you, he's conked out. Either with his head on the table or on Rafayel's shoulder (StarFish supremacy!!).

However, when your performance comes up, he's definitely at attention (in more ways than one)

You know what I said about evols getting out of control because of strong emotion?

Ya if you so much as insinuate anything his way during your act, let alone touch him, Xavi is lighting up like a BTS bobble light (don't @ me ok).

While he's waiting for you after the show, you find him doing some research about BDSM. Specifically submission.

Expect to Dom for the next month.

In all, they're all gettin pegged at the end of the day. Hell, even Zayne is considering it.

Buuut that's all for now. Sorry if my mad rambles are a bit illegible, I just needed to get this idea out 😅

Lemme know if I should continue this idea and write a, kind of, part 2 because I forgot to add how MCs height plays into this 🤔

Oh well~

-Sincerly Professor Boob

N/A: I just did some editing and spell-checks. It still may not be perfect but I don't have a beta reader so we make do o(T◇T o)

Dividers Credits: @cafekitsune Sketch: Me

[johannestevans]

when i was in tesco the last day there was a four-pack of pear cider for like £2.30 so i picked it up, have just tossed two gammon joints in the slowcooker, covered with cider, with two chopped pears, a mango, and some clementines

fucking hype for this one, lads, it's gonna really fuck

i cooked off the joints in a hot pan on the hob and used some of the cider to deglaze it, and then with the fruit and meat i've put in some white onion powder and garlic granules, sea salt and MSG, cloves, star anise, and a good bit of chilli powder

slowcooker is on high for now and i'll turn it down to low in a few hours, and then we're just gonna have it with some roasted vegetables later tonight

i'm really on a kick of trying new flavours and combinations of recent and i'm having such a good time, it's so rewarding and so Tastey

[ominoose]

𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐜 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐊𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐒𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐦 𝐇𝐂'𝐬

Character(s): Steven Grant, Marc Spector, Jake Lockley Summary: Not x reader, just random silly thoughts about the lads. Kinda summer themed. They're still in London. This came out more British than intended. Warnings: None

𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐭

Now that he's not constantly tired and getting two hours of sleep every fifth night if he's lucky, the Brit goes between quiet moments with a book on the couch to hyperactive spiels with no warning.

The newfound energy also takes his sass and mischief to the next level. If Marc or Jake (usually Marc, Jake's too scared) piss him off he will not drop it. For days Steven will slyly bring it up, make offhand remarks or fully kick up the argument again. It's never serious, he's still the one to step in if the other two are at arms, but Steven is no pacifist. "Y'know I just bought all these ingredients to make a lovely homecooked dinner with enough leftovers for Jake's taxi shifts and Marc's workouts... But-" "Steven please, we're starving, come on." "Since my cooking apparently tastes like a grannies garden!" "Por favor, I didn't even say it, Marc did-" "But you didn't disagree bruv!"

Takes Eurovision seriously. He made a point of not watching the BBC broadcast this year, although he's kept tabs on it through other websites. He's still not over last year. Jake tried to look into it and made a small comment about listening to the winner, commenting on Sweden's contestant being good. Steven went on a rant for a good twenty minutes about how it was rigged before Jake learned this was a lot more than a friendly song contest.

Whines when its hot out and forces Marc or Jake to front outside. Then forces them to buy a Mr Whippy for him to front and eat.

𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐜 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫

Gets really into British football. It started with hearing chants and noises outside on match days, the comradery and stupid sing-songs from fans in matching team colours bringing him a sense of nostalgia. He's still a diehard cubs fan, but going to the local pub to watch the match, getting a healthy outlet to yell and bang a table amidst others oddly suited him. Steven's just glad he's socializing.

Secretly folds up Stevens more "colourful" shirts and hides them.

Loves British chocolate, hates British crisps. He see's a packet of pickled onion Monster Munch and physically cringes away.

While Steven fronted and browsed through a charity shop, Marc spotted an old ds, just like one he had as a kid. The Brit could physically feel him eye it up from the inside and bought it. Now Marcs post-workout routine includes playing Pokemon.

Marc gets visibly sad and sighs whenever they phone in pizza because its never like the ones back home in Chicago.

Loves a greggs sausage roll.

𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐞𝐲

Half the reason the other two found out about him was when the old lady that Steven scared off in the elevator to the point she avoided them like the plague suddenly smiled and offered them tea. Turns out Jake had been helping her carry the shopping back to the flat when they bumped into each other. Their odd tea and biscuit afternoons helped Jake keep tabs on the boys.

Naps in front of the telly, usually to some reality tv like Eastenders, snoring away. The moment Steven or Marc slowly try to control the arm holding the remote he jerks away, pulling it to his chest and telling them off because he's still "watching" it.

Knows Marc folds and hides Stevens shirts that he hates. He puts them at the top of the pile just before Steven fronts. Marc has no clue and it drives him nuts.

His favourite passengers to pick up are drunk women. They're always either very funny or tell the most downright devious gossip, never afraid to openly include him in it too.

Made a solemn vow to himself that if he ever drove past Rishi Sunak he'd egg him.

Since he prefers night-shifts, the cat distribution system seemed to give him an 90% chance of meeting kittens on the street. If he has a passenger when he spots the little critter he'll make a mental note to return after drop off, Jake Lockley will not pass a chance at checking up on and cradling a gatita. Marcs learnt to be somewhat present during these shifts to stop Jake sneaking home with several kittens in his coat.

[sprunkimortality]

What do every Sprunki think of Gray?

Oren: "He's chill, bro. He's got good taste in music." Raddy: "Eh. He keeps out of my space and I keep out of his." Clukr: "According to my observations, Gray is a rather stoic individual. His lack of physical expression betrays his ability to feel emotions, and he can be quite hard to read at times. I can only make guesses as to how he feels based on context clues." Fun Bot: "Oh, Gray! He requests interesting songs from his favorite bands! It's always a new experience when he comes up to ask me to play something!" Vineria: "We're at similar wavelengths. Our auras blend well."

Brud: "Gray? Me like Gray! Gray is friend!" Garnold: "Gotta say, the kid's got interesting artistic interpretations of robotics. I didn't even know what divine machinery was until I heard him go through a whole rant about it! He's a cool one, I'll tell you that." OWAKCX: "G- Gray…oh, well, he- …h-he doesn't really…um…w- we don't…talk that much, you know? Hoohoo-! S- So, I, I- I don't know much about him, eh…e-except the fact that h- he wears the same shirt every day, hoho…" Sky: "Gray is so cool! He's got edgy makeup, edgy clothes, edgy music, everything's edgy! I want to be cool like him!"

Mr. Sun: "Ah, our very own Neutral Sprunki! There's a charm to his poker face that only he can pull off!" Durple: "Ahaha! You speak of my deadpanned companion? I've known him since we were Sprunklings! We were both losers without friends or anyone to chitter with at lunch, you see. Except I, in my ever-present radiance, was spared by the hells of torment he had to go through during those highschool years! That's not to say I condone it, no no no. I am HIGHLY against treating our very own emo boy with such exclusionism!" Mr. Tree: "I have been with him for every rest he takes every day in the afternoon. He brings peace to this bright and colorful town." Simon: "Well gee, Gray's one of my greatest friends! He's responsible and he always knows what to do in even the scariest situations! Don't tell him this, but…he's like a big brother to me! Yeah, we're the same age and unrelated but I don't care! He's big bro Gray to me!" Tunner: "Th' lad's in his own lil' world sometimes. He's a good kid. Never gets into any sorta trouble. Don't got a clue about the things he rambles on about sometimes, but I ain't gon' stop 'im whenever he does that. It's his passion."

Mr. Fun Computer: "He may not look like it, but he knows how to have fun in his own way! He visits me a lot! Though, he usually doesn't use my search engine or anything, like everyone else would. He just likes to come by and have conversations with me. It's nice!" Wenda: "So, like, big backstory dump, but…I actually hated Gray's guts. I dunno why. I was an evil kid! Like, so evil. I shoved him in the hallway and called him dumb and fat and whatever. Real talk, I was so mean to him. So like, him forigivng me was like, SUPER surprising. Like, what do you mean you forgive me?? Sure I regretted it and I apologized to his face but I didn't think he'd actually be, like, cool with me now! Anywayy. We're buddies now. We hang out and all that, soooo yeah. Happy ending! I hope." Pinki: "Gray is such a sweetheart! He helps me out at the bakery sometimes, even though he doesn't like having to deal with cooking oil…I really appreciate it whenever he comes by to help!" Jevin: "Within that anti-expression he wears, Gray is a Sprunki with passions to share."

Black: "He's not too bad, I suppose." Saves: "Sorry, who is…? Ah, yes! The horned one with the dirty shirt…ah, I remember now. Gray…he's so kind and generous. He is the same one who visits me every weekend, isn't he? Yes…he helps around the house. We tell stories to each other. He's precious." Ciqu: "He abides. I have no strong opinion of him." Sprinkles: "Heehee! Gray is fun! He takes care of me and Sky sometimes! He's like a big brother, but he doesn't have any little siblings…which is a bit sad, because he's fun as a brother!" Calvin: "Gray is super cool. And also fun to play pranks on! He doesn't get mad, so it's a little funny!" (edit 12/8/24: X FORGOT CIQU...XM SO SORRY MR POLICEMAN....)

[chimerapartyhouse]

Got to experiance the Pen's Marriage mod quest and HOLY WHAT THEY DID AN AMAZING JOB. It has inspired so much brainrot in me now that I can have my true pairing together again. The two together simultaneously make each other feral and calmer. So I'm dumping the shitposts I wrote here.

Ruber-Roseus says:

"Was told yer were beating up inmates constantly. Why they'd think letting yer near anyone was a good idea I don't know... (quietly) Good lad." 

"Oh look, I get to return the favour finally. We're now a couple who wears matching clothes. Congrats." 

"Gunna need two copies of yer book. One for yer to sign, the other ta bash yer nogging with." 

"Hate to break it to yer Honey, but the big not-bandit has the hots for me. Take from that info what yer want." 

"...Yes, I would love to sit on yer back as you do push ups. Missed you." 

"People in town refuse to talk to me cause of this mess. Thanks by the way."

(Pen trying to bite him in public) "Bad dog!" 

"I should 'ave asked Avery for a paycheck for this." 

"I'D THROW YA TO THE PERIPHERIES BUT THEN I'D FEEL BAD FOR EVERY LIVING THING THERE!" 

"That's it, hold my hand. I'm not letting go till yeh behave." 

"Grace is going to kill me if Logan doesn't first." 

"Get OFF ME. SomEONE here actually has a job that pays BILLS."

"Yes, you're hot. Yes, I love your muscles, looks, hair, jawline, voice. All your stuff. But please behave in public, you've traumatised Burgess more than enough already." 

"I would threaten to tie you up but I know that's not a threat to you." 

"Fine, instead I'll tie you up, have my fun, and leave you there." (Threat works.) 

"Been wanting to introduce you to my Ma but what would I even tell her now?!" 

"Let me sit on your lap and cuddle me, Kitten. Work was exhausting." 

"If you get us banned from the Blue Saloon one day I will never forgive you." 

"Honey, please get yer hand off me ass." 

Pen forgoing his usual tracksuit for more revealing clothing cause he's cover in certain kinds of bruises. 

(Pull out a stool, places it in front of Pen, stands on it.) "Now listen here ya little-" 

"You're lucky I love you so much, and that others hold me back, or else I'd be the one in prison." 

Finding Ruber passing out at stupid times from exhaustion turns from funny to sad real fast. Worse so when Pen learns why it keeps happening. 

"I can't even torture you in normal ways. I could threaten suffocation and you'd just go 'mh, yes please'."

"It is an actual miracle that no one has seriously tried to separate us. Maybe we mellow each other out enough that it's not worth it." 

"I wonder if it's possible to teach Rosy how to cook cause I'm scared of what you'll do to my precious kitchen if you use it." 

(Pen and Rosy getting envious of each other.) "Ladies, I love you both dearly."

Punishes Pen by slipping in really hot chilli pepper into his food. Not Duvos Pepper levels, but it does the job when he's done something seriously bad. 

"Something may have slipped out during a talk with Pablo. So sorry if the town acts weirder than usual soon." 

"For the last time, stop reading that damn book my Ma gave ya! I thought you didn't want kids anyway?!" 

"You can big-talk all you want, you've still never beaten me at whack-a-mole." 

"Sorry, being pretty is exhausting." (Collapses into Pen's arms.) 

"There are days where I wonder, 'what if?'. And then see your ass and immediately dismiss the idea." Pen: Do you mean me or my- (muffled squeak) "I mean your glorious globes." (Slapped his ass.) 

Ruber laying his head on Pen's chest. "You can say your heart is unbeating all you want. I can hear it calling for me." 

"If you make one more 'rabbit in heat' joke I'm sending you back to prison." 

"My Crystal, I promise I'm no longer interested in Justice. If it helps, I would have kicked your ass to the curb long ago if it were the case. You can also talk to Pablo too, that man will never stop interfering with my love life." 

"Snow Leopard, Pablo and Vivi agreed to help me make a new custom wardrobe for yer. It's your turn to be the dress up doll."

[hellkitepriest]

sent @pliablehead an ask yesterday asking her to devise her ideal ee/duncles co-headline gig Experience (because its the end of august and we all need some frivolous wishful thinking) and now she wants ME to do it soooooo

my first and stupidest thought for a venue was the currently-empty pyramid on the outskirts of stockport (can you imagine. serving cult.) but honestly any "jeremy pritchard Patron Saint Of Dogshit Venues ass venue" as you put it is ideal. something where theres no actual barrier so you can stand right up against the stage. also to get tickets to this you have to have watched dave sardine at least five times im sorry "lads who know distant past from fifa" this one aint for you

goes without saying that all my friends from online and irl are there right at the front with me being annoying. god bless. /\

dutch uncles have to open with jetson again and then play just. all the bangers but ALSO accelerate and damascenes. "the duncan puppet is there and it’s probably jon doing it" really got me because yeah it WOULD be. robins hair is pink again. duncan is dancing like the fucking enter the mirror puppets as ever. they play bellio and i get directly called out about it.

ideally ee's set has a bunch of man alive stuff in there. they have to play qwerty they have to play my kz... they play photoshop handsome and jon does the "more dollar less scholar less time" actions from the 2009 mv. they're wearing the gth stuff again (they have to be you're right but also alex is wearing glasses please). the combined force of us all right in the front row yelling THE FRAGMENTS during s/s/w/d wakes alex robertshaw from his 38 year long slumber. they play software greatman (yes alex has his modular from the rdf tour again in this world I MISS HER) and then walk off and come back and do violent sun and no reptiles as an encore and we're all normal and unaffected about it. and then yes we all go to the pub afterwards because jonathan higgs and i need to drink black cherry white claws

also at some point everyone comes out and they cover fascination by alphabeat and it is absolutely a too-many-cooks situation with [checks notes] eleven people on stage but it's fine it's fun it's fresh

[iobartach]

okay! this has been a LONG time coming, so brace yourselves for this... we're gonna talk about that injection scene from ats.v so comic purists especially please don't hunt down my ass for what i'm about to put out into the universe 😂

....so ..... let's talk about ... atsv's injection scene ;

what was intended by it? fuck knows, waiting for sony to send answers on a postcard. buuuut, for my take, let me be clear on the interpretations / meanings that i'm not gonna perpetuate ;

it's not rapture. i'm drawing a HARD STOP under that thought. noooo thankkk you.

it's not the source of his spider powers. we're staying true to our Cronenberg-inspired metamorphosis horrific-ness here 😎 even if more... recent reinventions of miguel shown in the comics would tell you he willingly opted to make himself half-spider, i ain't subscribing to it. (miguel's perspective on his transformation probs deserves its own hc post eventually! stay tuned!

so... if not this... what then? well...

i'm gonna posit that the injection(s) are a way for miguel to manage his 'condition'

for that, lemme do a little recap / reminder;

following his accident, miguel has experienced a multitude of changes. one of the most prominent changes is that he's become an obligate carnivore / hypercarnivore if you will. which means, meat is his new bff - he'll crave the calories, he'll eat it cooked or even raw, especially if it placates his tendency to gnaw when starving. and when he does eat, he tears and swallows chunks - not really a chewer any longer.

whiiiich introduces a new issue; anything plant based? loses its appeal to him. it's a slow progression, too. he'd start with reducing portions. taking a bite or two. leaving the rest. until there's next to no greenery left on the plate, when he knows he needs the nutrients they provide.

and ooh, it's actually gets a level worse than that : )

not only does he stop eating vegetables, fruits, *maybe* fungai? idk? but wellll his own mutated body might even stop producing the important stuff like vitamin c, and things of that ilk ! so ... what's a hybrid to do? how's he gonna make up the difference and get the nutrients he needs? ( especially when you consider... whilst he doesn't eat often, due to a combination of altered metabolism and slowed digestion rate, he could eat and consume calories in the magnitude that could make a damn saiyan blush --)

but, even so, it won't make up for the deficiencies 😔 so what's a spooky spider lad to do?

Come up with a solution, duh!

Yesss, baby, we're talking supplementation! operating in a similar manner to a diabetic needing insulin, or someone with B12 deficiency, for the all important food stuffs that miguel has perhaps tried, and tried again to consume, he's gonna turn to science for a lending hand, load up on what's either missing from his diet now, or that which his body simply can't absorb any longer

And, in addition to this, these shots are important in another sense 👀

they help miguel to manage his spider tendencies

since the way i've approached this with my earlier hcs is, well, tl;dr my mig's human / spider dna isn't a 50/50 split, it's gradually veering more towards spider as the years pass

this means that, it's a bit of a perfect storm brewing; lack of nutrients + behaviours & tendencies that he is likely chronicling by the day is ... a recipe for trouble! i can bet that miguel by himself can ... manage / hold himself together ... to a point, but, to paraphrase a friendo; have you ever met a hangry person? there's a limit to everything!

and we've seen miguel breach that limit already, during the miles chase in atsv. if ya had a bingo card for just about the worst everything happening in a single day? that card probably got filled UP during that chase! 😔 perhaps stress also played as factor there was well - the dude's carrying a LOT on his shoulders!

anyyyway! back on topic! let's expand the supplementation too - let's also throw in some sort of hormones? i know this is a whole science in itself, and ain't scientist 🥹 so i'll leave this a bit more broad, and say that they also play a part in stabilising miguel, ground him, so he won't go chasing a kid across the city... .ahem 😔

leading on from this, though, i wanna add some last things here. i know, i'm... meandering here , but lemme say;

take note of the intensity of miguel's eye colouration!

r e d - sorry, but you're shocked, buddy, best of luck surviving 💀

scarlet / bright red - feeling aggro, but holding enough of himself together to not act on his impulses

garnet - the default, feeling spidery, but also feeling human as close to a harmonious state as he can manage for the most part

dark brown - the goal!👀this is potentially a state that achieved after he injects himself. it floods him with a calm like nothing else he's ever felt. it's when he feels the most human again, a memory that's easily forgotten when you've got fangs and shoot webs from the back of your hands!!!

and it's with this last point, with the brown eyes, that i wanna bring this home with the little ritual miguel develops; after takin an injection, he'll make a point of brewing the strongest cup of black coffee that he can manage. a rare treat these days for him... especially given that caffeine does not agree with spiders. 💀

so yeah!!! thanks for reading through this ! 👋

[nocompromise-noregrets]

wheeeee!

I just got back from seeing Ricky Warwick and the Fighting Hearts supporting Stiff Little Fingers in Bristol - Ricky is the singer from The Almighty, who I loved in the 90s and who have gotten back together (I saw them live in November), and the Fighting Hearts is his solo project. Which includes the very lovely Ben Christo on guitar, and I have kind-of known Ben for nearly 15 years at this point (dear god) - he also plays guitar for the Sisters of Mercy, but I know him through his old band Night By Night, who were absolutely fucking amazing but split up about eight years ago, it being somewhat difficult to be a melodic rock band with an arena-filling sound on the club circuit. I first ran into them at Trashfest 2011 in Helsinki, when I and my friends (including @greaseonmymouth and @bigneonglitter :D although M I'm not sure if you were there when this actually happened) couldn't find our hotel room, bumped into a bunch of very nice British lads who were clearly a band and couldn't find their room either, and all of us figured it out together. Kept going to see them, both at subsequent Trashfests and at their own shows, spent a lot of time chatting to them (did the merch stand for them once :D ) and was utterly gutted when they split up. Ben has always been supremely nice and always used to recognise me and stop for a natter - or indeed, hail me for a natter, as happened very entertainingly in the foyer at one Trashfest when he spotted me from across the room, yelled Cookie!!! (my surname at the time was Cooke, although it isn't any more) and came barrelling over to give me a hug, much to the amusement of the friends I was talking to at the time XD

I haven't actually seen him in YEARS, and the last time was when the Sisters of Mercy played in Bristol and he spotted me in the audience, about five rows back, pointed and waved, but I didn't get to say hi afterwards, and that was ages ago (I've just looked up my photos and it was NOVEMBER 2016 what the actual fuck). I wasn't entirely certain he'd even remember me, let alone recognise me, but about midway through the Fighting Hearts' set he clocked me, did the point-and-wave-and-big-grin thing, and when I went to hang around by the merch stall to see if I could say hi, he spotted me, went 'YOU!!!!' and gave me a massive hug :D and then we spent a little while catching up and complaining about how much less easy everything is now we're Old (I was convinced he was at least ten years younger than me, but it turns out he'll be 45 tomorrow XD he really doesn't look it - I said I was 50 last week and he told me to fuck off, he thought I was like late 30s at the most, and I went 'I like you, you can stay' XDDDD ) - not least establishing a new band, which he's been doing for the last couple of years with his current band Diamond Black. 'You don't want to be sleeping on someone's stairs under a tea towel when you're 44', he said, and I can absolutely sympathise, that sort of nonsense is definitely easier when you're 18. :D Anyway, DB are recording an album, hopefully that should be out by the end of the year, and then gigs hooray. I got at least three hugs and I am rather beside myself that he remembered me. What a sweetheart.

The Fighting Hearts are doing a headline show in Cardiff on Monday and I am insanely tempted to say 'fuck it' and hop on the motorway, it's only an hour each way, all being well. Apart from anything else, I only managed to get Ben and the bass player to sign the LP I bought, I missed Ricky and the drummer (because I was too busy nattering with Ben oops XD ), and it's kind of a shame to only have it half signed. I am, however, also at a gig in Bristol on Sunday night (the mighty Chesney Hawkes XD ) and am probably going to be shattered, so we shall see.

ANYWAY. I am knackered and I am going to bed. But that was AWESOME and I am very pleased I went. Even though I got utterly rained on between the station and the venue, and forgot that I had my mini Swiss Army knife on my keyring and had to surrender it on the way in, bugger. WORTH IT. :D

[bell-swamp-fitzjames]

i know by the end of them, i'll be like "whoa these playlists are so good i was really cooking" but right now i afear ive hit an inevitable moment of "damn. playlist burn out" like yeah he's a playlist girlie but also consider i've made too many fucking playlists lately. its mostly been terror ones but i have also made a few other misc ones for myself. it doesnt help we're at the guys now im like who is the guy? whats it matter hes listening to music? we'll also see what's happening on sunday, depends on how far I can get with all the last remaining lads (when i said oops all women i meant that)

[gren-arlio]

Olympics ain't until next year, so let's talk about the objectively cooler one. Welcome to Episode 9 of (Waku) Puyo Extras.

(Always liked how the characters are drawn when they're small. Oh, and the lad next to Satan? That's Rasp, and I believe they don't have a set gender. Least from what I heard from the EPPC.)

Hello one and all, it's the guy who's harassed by Witches (or just a single Witch) all day, every day without fail. Seriously, outta anyone in the world, it's the dude with the Yosuke pfp, it really does run in the Persona Bro archetype to have wack ass luck. (World's worst crackship)

Silly stuff aside, welcome to the 9th episode of Waku Puyo Extras, and if you've been following for a bit, nice to know you've stuck around, and for new guys, it's fine, there's no continuity. Im just late posting this.

This time around, we're talking about PuyoLympics, and I hear you wondering, "Didn't you say you'll talk about Arle's Travel Log last time?" And you're absolutely right, I did. However, it's kinda hard to find footage for the game itself, and I do need extra time, so we'll cover it next time. Curse these games for being niche.

I'm glad PuyoLympics isn't as niche as the others we'll cover some other time (Madou Sugoroku is going to be awful to find footage for,) and I've had this on my backlog, we may as well cover it now, yeah?

So let's cut to the chase, shall we? Not having a tiny video to translate does feel weird still, but otherwise, hope you enjoy.

-----

So, What's the Origins?

Like Serilly's Happy Birthday, PuyoLympics was also a Disc Station game, released in 1997 for PC. Is it safe to say that PC got more games can console players?

(Not exactly the coolest looking start screen, but the opening itself was pretty cool.)

What's interesting about this game is that there's...two versions of it. Well, sorta. PuyoLympics in Basa~ru is technically a sequel, but it's more of a minigame from the original, so there's that. (Covered an entire game in one paragraph.)

The game itself is a sports game, yeah, but it's also somewhat a collection of minigames as well. Think those Mario Party sports minigames, but Puyofied and also you only can choose 2 characters.

-----

Alright, So What's the Story?

It begins as usual, to be honest. Satan is cooking up devious shit again but he somewhat wants to have a twist. In the meantime, Arle and Witch are arguing (leaving even the narrator a tad confused,) about Arle being unathletic.

(The peak of this argument. Words I can't even say.)

They then stumble upon a flyer, stating basically "Yo the Olympics are starting. Win to get a wish." and to settle their scores, Arle and Witch compete, along with a couple of other guys we can't play as, notably Rulue, Draco, and Schezo.

Satan decides that everyone will duel for the prize itself, though you only really play as the two girls. But to get in spirit, he dresses up as a coach to fully begin the thing.

(For some reason, all the footage I got were on Witch's side, even with looking on NicoNico. It was legimately hard to find footage for Arle. However, I do know both their endings, at least.)

For Arle's ending, Satan does say that she can indeed make a wish. However, Arle's unsure of what she should even do, and settles for...losing weight. In which Satan gives her...whatever is shown on the bottom.

(Seriously, what is this? They say it's a magician training cast but...I dunno, man.)

And how about Witch's ending? Well, Satan gives her the choice of whatever she wants, and she's also kinda unsure. However, unlike Arle, she has too MANY wishes to have, and Satan gets absolutely fed up and leaves, angering Witch. And you know what? Good on you, Satan.

-----

So, How's the Gameplay?

Gameplay itself is compressed of several minigames that you play as either Arle or Witch. The Olympics are a big deal after all.

Some of the events are things like the Meter Dash (I'd assume 100,) swimming, and...one game where you smack Puyos aside. I can't explain that one well.

Though in the swimming one, other characters appear at the very least.

(The whole squad came to cheer you on. You can't tell me they're not good friends.)

The games themselves are fairly short, and usually range about the 40 seconds to about a minute or so, they ain't called minigames for nothing. Still, there's some enjoyment itself with playing them.

-----

How About the Visuals and Characters?

Visually, least in my opinion, the game looks really good, and the OST itself is up to par with the series as a whole. Every character looks fairly well made to boot. Good on ya Compile.

And how about the characters themselves? Well...thankfully, they're fairly retained to what we're used to. Let's talk about the main two.

-----

Arle:

Our 2nd favorite girl Arle is roughly the same that we usually know her of. Here, she's still pretty dang cheerful thankfully, though with the argument with Witch and the whole going to the Olympics thing to settle their score...it's not petty, I swear.

However, something I want to note is that (supposedly not) due to Witch's comments about her being unathletic does actually kind of stick with her, as her wish is to lose weight...even if Satan kinda went the weird route to help change that. At least it shows she does have insecurities. (Seriously, what the hell is that armor going to do?)

And hey! If you play her route, Rulue makes an appearance early on, as well as Draco, who's sporting her outfit from Puyo SUN.

(Why are Rulue pants so different anyways? Still, it's nice to see her and Draco appear, even if she's more-so just a conversation with Arle and another for Witch.)

-----

Satan:

Ah, good old Satan. Never fails to just being a stupid idiot that we love. He's the whole reason why this Olympic thing began, and he's somewhat embracing it. Due to image limits (Yes, I plan the image routes ahead of time,) I can't show...In photos.

Here's a link to it. May as well, since it's so relevant.

He's a blast to actually hear and listen to. I genuinely like this version of Satan. And he even got turned into stone from a comment once. Now THAT'S comedy. I wouldn't say he carries the game, everyone does their part, but I gotta say that he's easily one of, if not the best, written character in this game.

-----

Witch:

As per the Gren Norm, I got so much more to say about Witch because...if the meme told you anything, she's definitely out there. The whole Olympic thing somewhat escalated due to Witch insulting her over being unathletic, which I mean...ouch.

If you play her route, you actually get a cameo appearance with our boy, the 2nd big guy in this Tumblr blog, Schezo Wegey. And if you know me, I'm gonna explain what happens. (At this point I document every misdeed this girl does)

So, Schezo comes into the frame wearing his Puyo SUN outfit as well, and while Witch says hello and why is he here, immediately labels him as a pervert after he claims he wants Arle again and also wants to win the Olympics.

(Silly Schezo. You're not playable.)

Witch then asks to take off his cape, because he looks like a pervert when he does...and low and behold, he actually does it, shocking her.

And frankly, I'd be surprised also. However, as none of us predicted, Schezo says if she's gonna laugh, to just do it. But she doesn't. Rather, she compliments him. A lot.

(If you've seen the meme, she's basically saying that he has a nice physique for his title, and that he has really healthy skin.)

Schezo asks if she's okay, (she's not) and she yells that he's wonderful/beautiful, causing our boy to think that she's gone insane and runs.

And she chases after him.

(Welcome to my ""Job"". Went from knowledge and Schezo to Knowledge, Schezo, and a lot of documenting of Witch and Arle. You signed up for this.)

Good on Schezo for taking the initiative and actually just leaving...well, more like run away, but good on him.

-------

So...Final Verdict?

The verdict is fairly simple honestly. Elementary, even. The game itself is a very charming game, with a really nice OST, artstyle, and even character writing to an extent. Every character is just fun to read ok and listen to, and it's nice to see such a silly concept be done fairly well.

-----

And For Those Wondering About Arle's Travel Log And Updates Overall:

Don't worry, I got it planned. I'm writing it, I didn't forget it. It's just footage is hard to come by and I want to make this the best I can. And besides...I'm making a Halloween special. I gotta.

And after that special, I plan to take a week or two off to relax. Then...idk, we try to translate Arle's Route of Waku Puyo Dungeon. The Waku part of Waku Puyo Extras will become real AGAIN...

Then, I'll take a break during New Years/Christmas. I don't want to risk burnout. But that'll be all for this time.

See y'all another time.

[lauramkaye]

oh no I just realized that if this song was ever translated into Mando'a it would probably be called Nar dral'shya!

And then my brain would not. rest. until I had translated it.

Yes I really translated this song into the made up Star Wars Armor Guy Language I'm so sorry my brain is just LIKE THAT

(my special interests, let me show you them... under the cut)

(also I welcome alternate translations for some of these lines from others because I'm just winging it here)

In the interests of space I won't list every repetition, but:

Ah... push it = ke'nariti - to make this scan you'd want to kind of run the first two syllables together, so it would come out something like "k'na" on the "ah" and "riti" on the "push it"

push it good = nar dral'shya

push it real good = ke nar dral'ne - where "nar dral'shya" is put/do/act more powerfully", "nar dral'ne" would be "put/do/act THE MOST powerfully". The "ke" makes it imperative, which is kind of understood in the phrase already, but adding it in here makes it more emphatic and also the right number of syllables for the song.

Ooh, baby, baby = oooh, cyare, cyare - this fits perfectly. Note that "cyare" is pronounced SHAH-ray. You could even do the "ba-baby baby" thing. It would sound like "shah-shahray SHAHray."

get up on this = ke shaadl'at ni (come towards me). An elided way to say "ke shaadla at ni" that will fit the scansion.

Salt N Pepa's here = Translating this really depends on if you are assuming that Salt N Pepa are recording a translated version of their song (in which case you'd either leave it as is or use "Salt bal Pepa") or if you are trying to come up with some kind of AU Mando version of Salt N Pepa. Seasoning and spices are actually huge in Mando culture and there are a number of words to choose from; the main issue is going to be getting the scansion right. "X is here" in Mando'a is "X cuy olar." However, the verb "to be" is usually dropped in Mando'a and you get a lot more latitude on contractions in poetry and songs, so I would probably translate this line as either "Salt bal Pep'olar" (assuming the band keeps their name) or "Hetiklyc olar" if it was an AU band. Hetiklyc means "spicy", with the particular connotation of a particular sinus-burning type of spiciness prized in Mandalorian cooking.

Note: for the verses I don't have the time to make everything scan so I'm going to say that the rapper should freestyle appropriately so it fits, okay?

Now wait a minute, y'all = pare sol, ad'ike (using "ad'ike" in the informal sense of "guys" or "lads" here)

This dance ain't for everybody /Only the sexy people= Anade nu’redalu /Shi Copyc’ad redalu jii (Everybody doesn't dance - only attractive people dance now)

So all you fly mothers, get on out there and dance. Dance, I said! = Jor'bic an copyc’ad, ke redalu. Redalu! (therefore all attractive people, dance. Dance!)

Salt N Pepa's here, and we're in effect = [use however you've decided to translate "Salt N Pepa's here" above], bal mhi tsikala

Want you to push it, babe = Vercopa nar dral’shya, cyare

Coolin' by day then at night, working up a sweat = Kih’ciryc ibi’tuur, projor tal’onidi ibi’ca (A little cold today, then giving it our all tonight)

C'mon girls, let's go show the guys that we know/ How to become number one in a hot party show = Okay this one was tricky but I ended up going with K’olar, ad’ike, tengaana anade mhi lise /Cuyi parjii o’r akaan be copad - (Come on, guys/lads/friends, we demonstrate that are are all able to/become the winner in a war of desire). You could also use vode instead of ad'ike; rapper's choice, I'd say.

Now push it = ke'nariti again here

Yo, yo, yo, yo, baby-pop= I'd use "cyar'ika" for "baby-pop." for the "yo, yo, yo" you could use "su cuy" or possibly, for better scansion, something like "oya, oya, cyar'ika"

Yeah, you, come here, give me a kiss = Lek, k’olar, ke murcyu ni

Better make it fast or else I'm gonna get pissed = Ke shaadla iviin’yc ra gar ni skana’din - essentially "move fast or you will infuriate and annoy me"

Can't you hear the music's pumpin' hard like I wish you would? = oh geez this one was HARD. I ended up going with bes’laar nar ori’dral sa vercopa gar nar dral’shya? (the music does it very hard, like I wish that you would do it harder)

Now push it = ke'nariti or you could substitute nar dral'shya for emphasis

Boy, you really got me going = Cyare, gar ni vercopa’din (you make me feel desire)

You got me so I don't know what I'm doing = Gar ni lararyc’din ganar gar (to try to get the tone I went with a less literal translation here - something like "I'm drunk from wanting to have you". I feel like I should have a copaani in there somewhere but it didn't seem like it would fit - maybe it could get a poetic contraction like "copaa'ganar gar" or something)

[morgana-ren]

so the guys keep the awful things they do away from their kids right? but how would they deal with their kids getting older and realizing the sort of stuff that happened to their mom/s before they existed or during? you don't have to though just curious

Oh, yes. Absolutely. Even Reaver would keep his degeneracy away from his children as much as he physically could, on the off-chance he knocks ya up.

Truthfully, if most of them they have their way, the children, even when grown, would never know or ever be privy to any of it. Sorry this kind of goes off on a tangent but my ADHD is wilding out, and the information felt pertinent at the time. The short answer is no, the children are not impacted at all, and the lads have ways of circumventing their wretched pasts.

Corvus is very capable of this canonically, but he's the only one that has an AU where he has children. When he settles and marries and decides he wants children, he makes a decision to put his family first. No more open degeneracy in the home. He is a normal, deeply loving father. His children will be raised in a stable, normal environment. Collars are switched out for more 'subtle' expensive necklaces, toys are stored off-site and on his ship and retrieved with a teleport when needed. No visible chains on the marital bed. Everything is very well hidden with magic beyond what his kids are capable of right now. Etc.

Corvus is a fucking PTA Dilf. Just so you know. He is VERY active in his children's lives and education. Like, we're talking father of the year shit here. His kids will be tiefling-draconic in nature, so he will work on teaching them magic early so they can properly disguise themselves if they attend a normal school, and he will be very strict with them on how to behave around mortals.

That doesn't mean you're getting off the hook. The bedroom is soundproofed and when night falls and you two have alone time, he's very much transforming into a pumpkin. When the kids are gone, daddy comes out to play. He is still Corvus. However, he will not leave open marks on you where they can see and anything damaging he does, he heals. I mean, you both have children to raise. He can't have you bedridden with sex injuries when you have to cook the family dinner and bathe the children and your other motherly duties.

If he's having a family with you, he very much is in love with you and wants to spend the rest of his eternal life with you. He might be a bastard, but you and the children come first in any scenario. He will go as far as banning his brothers from the home if they cannot behave themselves around you. Sadism still gets him off, and he runs a very tight ship as a father and husband, but he would do absolutely anything for you and the kids. In the bedroom, he's still the same old Corvus, except he does not want to permanently scar you in any sense, mentally or physically. Hells, you can even get him to get you off occasionally, if you know how to barter with him, which you will by that point.

There will come a day when they will learn that daddy is a monster. They will learn of his atrocities and who he is. But Corvus spends their entire lives preparing for this moment in case it happens. He raised his children well and with his values and truthfully, it's never been a big deal. By the time they're adults, they're going to have... some idea that their daddy is.. strange with intimacy, but mostly, they just go "Oh yuck! I don't want to hear about my dad's love life with mom! Ew!" and it never comes up. All they know is that their father loves their mother very much-- and they miss out on a lot of the details. If they were your children, would you really want them knowing? (Keep in mind, Corvus will not have a family unless you love him back. He will make you love him. He will prove himself.)

Astarion doesn't take to it as effortlessly as Corvus does, but he's much the same way. He will still whisper off-color things in your ear and slap your ass when they aren't looking, but mostly, he manages to rein himself in. He's a bit looser with it (he believes it's normal that his children know how much their father loves their mother) but he's not degenerate about it by any means.

Him feeding is a lot less sexual and a lot more functional when he has children-- at least when they're around. It's much more of a 'sit down to breakfast' affair. He will usually have reserves of blood around so that he doesn't have to feed at all in front of them, if he can help it. He feels strange about it when they're around because it was a sexual act before and that doesn't just fade away, even if he needs to feed to live. It just feels inappropriate.

Astarion is actually capable of having relatively normal sex-- and I mean normal relatively, because in comparison to Reaver and Corvus and even Ilya, he is capable of being the most tame. You flirt with him by being bratty or whatever else have you, but he will always manage to keep himself in check until the kids are gone to school or over at a friend's house. But then you're in for it.

Sex and intimacy with Astarion who has settled down with you is capable of being much more playful than it is sadistic. By that point, if you've really connected with him, chances are you're kind of into it, same with all the others (you know, as much as you can be when your husband is a immoral sadist.) When you get some alone time, he is going to indulge, and he's going to make sure that you want to. He will keep you crawling back and begging. It is a subtle game that is not played when the babies are home.

Any scars he's given you are properly glamored (he will not let Corvus heal it, it is a sign of his love) and covered when the children are growing. He doesn't play with knives when they're around, as it's not safe for them. He very much switches into vampiric lord father mode. Finest education, finest life, etc.

Truthfully, he would probably prefer that you make up some story about how you met, or at least romanticize the real way. Leave out all of the grosser details. He doesn't want the children knowing anything inappropriate at all. To them, he is a normal loving father and you are a normal loving family. He just happens to be a vampire.

If they're half vampiric (or even full blood vampires) he would want them homeschooled. He wants them in a safe place where they will be kept clean and on the up-and-up. He remembers the early years of his thirst and how uncontrollable it was, and he doesn't want to risk the family getting isolated and singled out. He would scour the globe to ensure his children had friends and could properly socialize and maintain friendly relationships. If he's established a coven, he would have a school set up for the children where they could be with children like them.

While he is nervous at first, he blossoms into an excellent father. Corvus had more of the atrocities attached to their name, so realistically, the only thing they will ever learn about their father is that he is a vampire lord, and being his children, they understand he has to feed on mortals. His relationship with you will be far more consensual and loving at that point, and chances are neither of you would feel the need to bring up the nastier past, especially how you met or the kind of monster their father can be.

Reaver probably struggles the most. Not because he doesn't want to hide it, but because his idea of normal is just so fucking skewed at this point that he has to relearn it. It backfires. Rather than being too inappropriate, he's too stoic.

He's going to be very anxious. So anxious that he basically wants to raise a nanny to raise the children full time. Obviously, that's not going to work, and it will take years until he's finally comfortable raising the kids like a father truly would. Mostly because at that point, he's afraid he's going to ruin their lives by just being him.

He's going to look to you to teach him right from wrong. You will basically be raising two children: Your actual child and him. He doesn't know what to do, so he's going to try to buy their affection and spoil them senseless. They will have the finest of everything, and attend the finest private school.

He's one of those dads that when their kid gets bad grades, he blames the teacher. He will bribe the school. He will throw money around. Like he is one to do. He does not understand what is wrong with this, so if you want to discipline your children for behaving poorly, you will be doing it with him mostly being silent. It will take some time for him to get the hang of proper parenting, and he still messes up sometimes.

He's going to be very uncomfortable showing any affection to you in front of them, mostly because he doesn't understand. Love, to him, is a naughty word. He's the most staunch about it genuinely because he is trying.

He loves his children very, very much. He just has to be taught how show love. You have to explain to him that it's okay for parents to say 'I love you' to each other in front of their kids. It's okay for him to kiss you and squeeze you.

it's business as usual when the kids aren't around though. The filthy, disgusting, nasty man you came to love. He's going to try to cram (in more ways than one) all of his urges into a very short amount of time. He will have a special hidden chamber that is very different from your standard bedroom that is only opened with a key that he has and never removes. When the kids are away for a while, you will be spending most of your time there, and poor Barry will be tending to your needs like food, water, and the essentials.

When the kids get older and they want to know how mommy and daddy fell in love, he's going to spin an elaborate lie about how you were some lovestruck fan who was enamored with his brilliance, and his looks, and-- it's total garbage. It becomes a running joke. He, like the others, will completely hide your origins.

The hardest part would be hiding his various crimes. Not against you, but just the fucking world at large. He's a celebrity and a ruthless business man known for killing everything. Truthfully, he might ask Corvus to help him move somewhere far off and away so his children are raised out from under the shadow of his influence.

He will not stop killing things though. And he will not give up his business. He's a provider after all. He will ensure that all business is done very far away from his children.

Ilya will be outwardly pleased when you fall pregnant, but inside, he is panicking. Keep in mind, this man had a very strained childhood that left him with a litany of issues that persist to this day. Especially given how you met, he's worried you might decide you don't love him and you'll turn against him and take his child with you. This doesn't make him angry; this makes him afraid.

Ilya is aware of the technicalities of raising children. He, like Corvus, won't have a huge issue with the standard bits. He doesn't struggle not to murder or be cruel in front of them. He can rein himself in easily. He takes to fatherhood very well. He loves his children and his wife a scary amount. It's kind of wild watching him 'grow' all the sudden when he has a family.

Ilya's biggest struggle won't be forgoing degeneracy. It will be his complete and utter fear that he is going to be a father like his father. That you don't really love him, and rather that you're manipulating him because you feel like you have to in order to survive-- even though that might've sorta been the case before.

Do not worry. This can be soothed, and he's actually a very attentive husband and father. Ilya will not have children with you if you don't love him, so rest assured if you have kids, he is dedicated to it. He won't do it unless he knows for goddamn sure. Even when he knows, he won't know. This man needs so much reassurance. It's possible, but it's a weird script flip, as he doesn't like being vulnerable, and it's very strange and uncanny at first. He just calms down and speaks openly and honestly, and when you're used to him being a cold, cruel, manipulative shithead, it's just... different.

Ilya is the most likely to sit down with you and ask you what you want when it comes to the children asking mommy and daddy how they met. Obviously, he doesn't want to scare them or make him think he's a horrible person (he might be, but not in regards to his children and wife, if he can help it) but he doesn't want to deny your truth either. That wouldn't be fair. He thinks the one thing that kept him sane was his mother, and he won't take that from his children. Your experience is important to him. You are important to him. He loves you deeply, but he will not deny the monster he can be at your expense. Unlike Corvus, he won't keep a lid on his secrets if you think it's important to be honest with them. He will impress subtlety and appropriate age, for their sakes, but what you want is important to him.

A lot of the initial fears and anxieties abate in the early years of the child's life, and things fall into a comfortable rhythm-- albeit with a little chaos, like tends to happen wth children. You will take your place comfortably at Ilya's side, and you'd be surprised how respectful he can be, especially in the open.

Obviously that horrible shit gets him off, but weirdly, your feelings will tend to come first. If you're exhausted because the baby kept you up all night, he will respect that and offer to tend to the child the next night. Obviously, intimacy with you is still very important to him, but he knows well enough how exhausting motherhood and fatherhood can be. Maybe Uncle Corvus takes them out for a little bit so mommy and daddy can have some alone time.

He, like the others, will take absolute care to ensure that nothing leaks out of the bedroom. Ilya is one of the few of them that actually really enjoys giving pleasure rather than holding it over your head (cough Corvus cough) and he's capable of being a great lover. So great, in fact, that you can almost trick your mind into thinking things were your idea. They tend to calm down into kink territory rather than terror territory. He will still scare you, and be very domineering, and have... unconventional desires (all of this is put very nicely for all of them btw because it feels odd mentioning in a post about their kids even if they aren't technically real), but at this point, it will likely send shivers down your spine. If he's kept you this long, you connect on a level that makes this possible.

Ilya is partial to homeschooling, as he is extremely educated and is capable of teaching them himself, but if you feel like it's important that the kids get an unbiased view of the world, he will help you school-shop. Ilya is very flexible on most things, although he does have staunch views on some others.

The main point is that your life before the kids doesn't have to come up or impact their upbringing at all. He's still him, but he's masterful at playing the incredible father-- or perhaps just being one, depending on your outlook. He's still a seedy, shady man, and he still has wants and desires that are... dubious, at best, but when he loves you and respects you, he can be rational and respectful.

The biggest issue might be maneuvering Ilya's love for his culture and past (you know, the proud bits) while not outright telling your children "Yes, daddy is a devil who was alive that long ago, actually." He might have to pretend it was a distant ancestor until they come of age and are old enough to truly understand. Thankfully, with Corvus in charge of the hells, it's easy for him to cut ties for the good of his children until they're old enough to understand or be on their own. Your kids will be raised to love and appreciate their ancestry, but um... he's going to leave the hell part out, if he can.

[yamatossideboob]

ONE PIECE 1114 SPOILERS!

This week's deductions:

YAMATOOOOOOOOOOOO 👍👍👍👍👍

lmao the Marines are bricking it. I wonder how much Akainu knows about the impending flood...

I'm loving the little location cameos, microdosing nostalgia

Doflamingo what are YOU doing here!

Hi Magellan! still shitting for 8 hours a day?

how much does Doffy know.... more than Magellan thats for sure lol

I love the earthquake detail, we needed a way for this global audience to know Vegapunk isn't just bullshitting and this does the job nicely. Terrifying!

LONG RING LONG LAND!!!!!!!!!!

This big panel of the Mother Flame finally revealed is so chilling... the image of a single flame, suspended in liquid and still burning, in a gigantic mechanical vat is so ominous to me. What on earth was the ancient kingdom cooking...?

WAIT FUCK THE ANCIENT ROBO IS DOING SOMETHING?? UGHHHHHHH WTF ODA GIVE US ANSWERR

I know we won't see his visage yet but I want to see Imu seething over Vegapunk dropping lore SO badly lmfao. See him kicking a table over or something.

Do the CDs actually *know* what the Void Century was about? Or are they just manky over VP knowing what they're not allowed to lmao. Also hi Celestial Dragon Woman being set up to be relevant later.

JAGUAR D. SAUL YOU SONNOVABITCH (clasps his hand in friendship). I'm loving this, our lad is chilling in Elbaf, loling at auld Vegapunk fucking WG shit up by dropping the no-no history. I wonder who his companion is...

ORANGE TOWN??!!! BOODLE??!!! FUCKING CHOUCHOU????!!!!! we really are in the final saga lads christ alive

Tiny Amazon Lily panel,ty for the morsel

I hope that pertinent Robin panel is hinting that SHE'LL be the one to actually tell us properly about the Void Century and the ancient kingdom and the rest, but i am increasingly doubtful :/ Vegapunk DOES say later he knows barely anything about the VC, but unfortunately this is Nico Robin we're talking about, and few are more underserved than she...

Edison you champion, ty for your sacrifice

So yeah we're REALLY gearing up to gtfo of Egghead now aren't we

I just. fucking love the juxtaposing of the Joyboy namedrop, coupled with the new knowledge that he was the First Pirate, this incredibly significant piece of informaiton, with Luffy being a Nika doofus lmfaooooooooooooooooooo

I've already seen people spec that we're getting a massive flashback next chp, and that doesn't feel wrong, but I just want Robin to be the one to share all that... cop that Nika namedrop too, I wonder if people watching who've met Luffy are going to make that connection? fufufu

but yes, another 2 week break, earned but godddddd I cannot wait for whats coming next. until next time! 💪✖️

[arsenalgbt]

whats ur ranking of trent ships? and what do you think of jude/trent

ok ok ok ok ok hear me out!!

trent/dom really got us in a chokehold huh. really didn't think I'd be invested in any Liverpool ships after gerlonso hendollana and veteran discount caninho (iykyk). been years since the last time I wrote for Liverpool fandom. like I posted earlier; pretty privilege is soooooooooooooour real

ngl it's trent/hendo. the age gap, the slight size gap, my personal view of hendo because I was there when he was young and dumb and clearly in love with Adam lallana LMAOOOOOOOOO. ugh. imagine the lore; academy prospects trent 'competing' with literal soulmate Adam? the amazing trent/hendo fics on ao3 also helped!

clearly im biased because I wrote them already; trent/tyrone mings. have y'all seen such underrated man? tyrone mings... goddamn... he's like Dominic calvert-lewin or whoever his name is, but with the towering height... thus the size gap!!!! and this one video/gifset of trent ovulating I said what I said

im learning about trent/VVD likeeeeeeee . the lack of quality fics on ao3 pushed me off ngl lmao. jfc what's there not to like? size gap age gap clashing personalities... this gif... don't worry anon, I am REDEEMING myself by cooking some plot!! coming 2024 (I think lol)

also, not a fan of trent/Jude cuz both are bottoms. they can always take turns fucking eo silly, but not for me! (now, if we're talking Jude/gio Reyna aka the character swap aka hyper British lad being bff with calm reserved American????? and Jude/erling haaland bvb era...)

teehee~