#NOT intended to be an attack or anyhting this was VERY funny to me

[schrijverr]

Intimidated

Jonny has a bad day and when encounters with Brian, Tim and Ashes set him off, he flees and locks himself in his room. Luckily Nastya comes to comfort him and ask if he’s okay.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: Panic Attack, implied/referenced past abuse and PTSD and Jonnys thoughts about himself aren’t so nice. Tell me if I missed anyhting and I’ll be happy to tag them!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jonny was not a large man.

He’d never claimed he was one, but that was with good reason, since he was quite the opposite of a large man. No, Jonny was not a large man, he was actually a pretty small man. Standing at 5ft2 and weighing a 120 pounds soaking wet, he was not intimidating.

Well that might not be true. While he might not be large, he had a big presence always being the loudest, the most violent in the room with so much manic and chaotic energy around him that people naturally kept their distance from this tiny angry man.

Of course the Mechanisms had no such qualms. They could match their First Mate shot for shot and stab for stab, no issue and after spending so much time together, it is impossible for you to not see the others in every state imaginable, leading in the end to the fact that none of the Mechanisms found Jonny intimidating at all.

This frustrated him immensely.

He had no problems with his height, he might be a bit sensitive, but he had enough to make up for it. However, when that fell away all you were left with was a bunch of people who you couldn’t get rid off and were there constantly making fun of you whenever they could.

It wasn’t obvious and it (mostly) wasn’t out of malice. There was no ill intend except for driving Jonny up the wall to create something fun to do.

Just sometimes rest your arm on Jonnys head or pretend not to see him while he’s right in front of you until you look down or put his favourite mug on the upper shelf and laugh as he tried to grab it, but either has to climb the counter or ask for help. Small things like that.

Jonny didn’t mind most of the time. He grumbled about it and got annoyed, but it could be pretty funny and he liked seeing the others be so proud of their little mischief that he couldn't help but roll his eyes fondly in his head.

Of course with not minding most of the time, there was also a sometime where Jonny in fact minded and in those moments Jonny minded a lot.

It was not the jokes that bothered him in those moments, he didn’t find them funny at those times, but it was more the fact that they weren’t respecting his authority that bothered him.

He knew he wasn’t really the leader, everyone reminded him when they had denied him the title of Captain and just plainly ignored what he’d said, but the jokes drove it home. They saw him as a child, he thought in those moments, they thought him a funny attraction that they could laugh at and ignore. And that hurt.

Jonny needed to be in charge, not necessarily of the others, but off himself.

You see, Jonny hadn’t been the most independent throughout his life. No that was the wrong phrasing, he’d been very independent never listening to his father (if the man was ever around) and always on his own trying to navigate the planet of New Texas.

But he hadn’t had any agency in what he had to do to survive and he certainly had no control over what Dr. Carmilla did to him or the others.

So, yeah, Jonny needed to be in charge off himself and although the jokes didn’t take away his ability to stab them in the side or fire a bullet at them when they got too annoying, they sometimes did make him think about the fact that they could easily overpower him and he could do nothing about it.

That fact turned into a fear, which had lodged itself inside his chest to fester and grow.

Today was a one of the days on which Jonny minded the jokes a lot. He’d already woken up shaky and was fighting his brain for a reasonable reaction to the night full of nightmares.

The nightmares had been of Dr. Carmilla looming over him, his still beating heart in her hand while he was strapped down on a table unable to move. Then it had changed to Jack grinning down at him as he put out a cigar on his cheek after he’d gotten back empty handed.

He remembered his old boss had grabbed his hair, leaving him unable to move away from the burning stub. The scar had healed, but apparently his stupid brain hadn’t forgotten.

Desperate to rid himself off the uneasy feeling his brain was giving him, he’d gone to their kitchen looking for booze instead finding Brian, who with his 7ft towered over Jonny with a disappointed look in his eyes as Jonny reached for the bottle.

Jonny looked between Brian and the bottle. The rational part of his brain told him that, although Brian didn’t agree, he wouldn't do anything to stop him, but the other part of his brain screamed at him that the tall man would hurt him if he didn’t listen, that he could grab him and hurt him and he couldn’t fight back.

The bottle was returned to its spot unopened.

Brian frowned at that action, Jonny was never really known to listen to anyone and it wasn’t as if Brian had argued or said anything at all. Still Jonny had picked up on the subtle disapproval and listened.

He looked at Jonny and saw that the shorter man was frozen and looking at him like he was trying to decipher what Brian wanted from him. Brian asked: “Are you okay, Jonny?”

Subtly Jonny startled at the sound of his voice, but he quickly masked it with a shake of his head and puffed up his chest as he scoffed and answered: “Of course.”

“You sure?” Brian pressed.

“Yes.” Jonny snapped back, immediately looking startled at his own tone. He hid that too and hurried out the room.

Brian considered chasing after him, but decided that Jonny probably wouldn’t appreciate the effort and it wouldn't be worth it to have to pick all the bullets out from between his joints and under his skin.

Meanwhile Jonny was stumbling through the halls of the ship, desperately trying to stop the shortness of breath.

Mentally he berated himself: What the fuck, Jonny, you know Brian wouldn’t do that, but here you are acting like an idiot and a child. No wonder no one respects you, you are the child, the tiny asshole, they all already think you are and you go around proving it on top of that. It wasn’t scary and you weren’t in danger, but you just had nearly piss yourself.

Unconsciously his feet were carrying him to his old hiding place. There was one room with a detachable panel, which led to a small space where he used to hide when Dr. Carmilla was looking for him.

He’d never made it his own room, since it would be too suspicious, something that now proved to be a problem. He hadn’t gone back after he’d made his plan and in the meantime Tim had taken up residence in the room where he used to hide.

Tim was a lanky guy. He wasn’t muscled and he wasn’t fat, but he was tall like all weight he’d gained in his life had been stretched upwards into height.

Tim also loved stealing Jonnys stuff and holding it above his head out of reach as he watched Jonny struggle to get it back and he had been waiting for Jonny to find him after he had stolen his favourite belt buckle.

So when he saw the tiny man standing in his doorway he grinned and got up.

Jonnys eyes were unfocused, something that Tim did not notice, and Jonny only registered that someone else was there when the shadow fell over his face. He blinked and looked up and Tim.

Tim procured the belt buckle out of his pocket and held it over Jonnys head as he asked: “Looking for this?”

Realizing that the real reason he was here was too embarrassing, Jonny jumped on the way out Tim had unknowingly offered him. He put his hands on his hips and said: “Give it back, Tim.”

Dangling it from his finger, Tim teased: “What? I’m not withholding it, it’s right here. Just take it, Jonny.”

“Not funny.” Jonny huffed, “Just give it back.”

Tim leaned down while raising his arms so that the belt buckle will still dangle out of reach as he tutted: “Ahw, can’t tiny Jonny reach his little belt buckle?”

Jonny was about to explode, to beat the uneasy feeling out of his chest with anger, when Tim patted the top of Jonnys head condescendingly. The image of Jack flashed in front of his eyes and he flinched back violently.

Tim startled back at the reaction, lowering his arm with a frown. Carefully he asked: “Are you alright?”

Looking back up, Jonny blinked and the image of Jack grin was replaced with Tims concerned face. He snatched the belt buckle out of his hand and said: “I’m fine.”

“You certain?” Tim checked

“Yes, for fucks sake, leave me alone.” Jonny yelled at him in return.

“You don’t have to be an asshole about it.” Tim told him, “I was just checking in.”

“Well, don’t.” Jonny said, turning on his heel and planning to hide out in his room until this feeling was gone.

Normally Tim would let him stomp away and be annoyed at the First Mate, but the flinching sat wrong with him and now that he thought about it, Jonny had looked pretty out of it when he’d showed up, so Tim was now hesitant to let him go. Hence why he grabbed Jonnys shoulder to stop him from getting away.

The effect was instant.

Jonny tensed, straighting up, before immediately ducking into himself with a small whimper and raising his hands in defense as he turned around with a wince. While Tim let go as if his hand was burned.

They looked at each other in silence for a full minute. Tim standing still like a statue, not daring to move in case movement would trigger Jonny again. Jonny in confusion as he waited for an attack that didn’t come, memories playing in front of his eyes until he saw Tim standing there through the haze.

Jonny frowned and slowly asked: “Tim?”

After a second to look into Jonnys eyes to double check if he was really here, Tim answered: “Yes, yes, it’s me.” then after another beat he asked: “You good? What happened?”

Jonny bit his lip, he could just explode and walk away. Never talk about it again and pretend it never happened. Tim wasn’t a threat, no matter how much he dwarfed Jonny, he was a lanky noodle that Jonny knew he could take, even on a bad day. A lanky noodle who was currently trying his very best to look as non-threatening as humanly possible.

He knew all that, he did.

Still, he didn’t want to anger the taller man. He had felt the heavy, big hand on his shoulder, he knew that Tim could easily turn into a killing maniac in a second and, if Jonny wasn’t careful, he’d be on the hit-list.

Looking back up, he saw Tims concerned expression morph into a frown and the irrational part of Jonnys brain decided to please the potential threat.

“I’m fine, really. Just a bad night, nothing to worry about. I was just dreaming a bit, not really aware and you scared me for a second that’s all.” he tried to placate Tim.

It did not help, because Jonny did not do diffusing situations, especially by trying to calm the other down. And Tim hadn’t even been looking for a fight that needed calming down, he’d just asked a question.

Something was wrong.

“Are you sure, you looked pretty spooked. If I did something, you have to tell me and I’ll avoid doing it again.” Tim pressed, “I know we’re all bastards, but we’re not assholes.”

The offer was nice. No judgment and avoidance of an instance like this in the future, a friend making sure the other was okay.

However, this was not what Jonny heard. Jonny, who had lost the battle with his brain and had given in to the bad feeling in his chest he had woken up with, had heard a potential threat not pleased with his answer while the whole objective had been to mollify him.

He was desperately trying to find an answer that would pacify Tim when Tim noticed the panic in his eyes. He decided that there was something wrong with Jonny and he had to calm the First Mate down.

The problem was that Tim was good at causing people and stuff to explode, he knew his way around anger and violence, not around calming people down. The only thing he knew was a calming cup of tea, so he offered: “Why don’t we drink a cup of tea to get you settled.”

Jonny didn’t want tea, he wanted to get away from this dangerous situation he had maneuvered himself into, but he accepted eagerly, glad to have found something to please Tim.

He followed Tim to the kitchen, finding a small mercy in the fact that Tim didn’t touch him and didn’t mind that Jonny walked behind him instead of next to him.

Ashes was already in the kitchen making themself some food when Tim entered Jonny on his heels. Tim set to making tea, only giving them a short greeting, but Jonny froze at the new person introduced in the situation.

His plan had been to sit there, drink his tea in silence, make sure Tim thought he was fine and go hide in his room. It was a good plan, not much to go wrong, but having Ashes there could be a problem.

He didn’t have any control over them or their actions, so they could accidentally fuck over his whole plan. And on top of that they were also a new person to please and keep happy until he could get out, another potential threat.

They weren’t that much bigger than Jonny, but they had the habit of leaning on Jonnys shoulder to piss him off and they, like everyone else on the Aurora, were taller. And taller had always been a threat in Jonnys life, so with the state he was in right now, he could only file them away as a threat and an unpredictable factor.

His mind was racing with new plans and possibilities, he tried to come up with the best way to get rid of them as soon a possible without endangering himself. Ashes raised a brow at him and he clumsily copied Tims greeting, since they had thought that to be okay.

They greeted him too and turned back to the sandwich they were making. Jonny let his shoulder sag slightly only to tense them up again when Tim turned to him with a smile on his face and two cups in his hands.

Jonny tried to smile back, but he was sure he wasn’t all that successful.

Luckily Tim didn’t comment on it and led him to the bar, where he set down the cups and sat in the stool, expecting Jonny to do the same.

Which was a bit of a problem.

You see, the stools were pretty tall, tall enough that Jonny had to climb into them and had trouble getting out of them easily. He wanted to do what Tim wanted him to do in order to protect himself, but he also wanted to leave the option of getting the fuck out of there open.

They also emphasized how short Jonny was since his feet would be dangling and he didn’t need that extra focus on his weakness in this situation.

So he stood next to the stool, eyes flitting between the stool and Tim, who noticed and was about to offer to sit on the couch when Ashes noticed Jonny hesitation as well.

They didn’t know about Jonnys mood today nor the strange reactions Tim had witnessed, he’d been a bit weird today, but Jonny was a weird guy all around so they hadn’t paid it much attention.

When they saw him dawdle next to the seat, they walked up and, like normal, they leaned on his shoulder while they took a bite out of their sandwich, before teasing: “Too high for you, Jonny? Want a step stool?”

Jonny broke.

He didn’t know why this set him off. Maybe the combination of the nightmares, the incident with Brian and then with Tim, on top with the uneasy feeling that had been growing in his chest throughout the day coming to a crescendo with the weight of Ashes leaning on his shoulder and the snapping of their teeth echoing in his ears.

Stumbling backwards he shrugged off Ashes arm, automatically raising his arms to protect himself from blows form above. When he was out of reach and at a safe distance, he quickly turned around before sprinting away as fast as he could.

He didn’t pay any attention to his surroundings, only focusing on getting into his room and shutting the door behind him.

Once the door was firmly locked behind him, he slid down to the ground and allowed the panic to truly overtake him. He’d thought that with his mechanical heart he wouldn’t be able to have these attacks, but instead the heaving of his chest and the shortness of breath was just more uncomfortable with the mechanical regular beating of his heart.

Within the peacefulness of his room he could let the panic attack run its course without anything to make it worse. So he sat there and struggled through breathing exercises Nastya taught him when they’d first huddled up together in the engine room.

While he was doing that Tim and Ashes stood frozen in the kitchen, neither daring to move, to break the air of what had just happened. Then Brian entered and broke the spell. He looked concerned and asked: “Is there a reason Jonny just came barreling past me like his immortality was catching up to him?”

“He freaked out all of a sudden.” Ashes said, “I was just teasing and then he was running, but he got here with Tim.”

“Don’t say that like an accusation.” Tim exclaimed.

Before it could end in a fight, Brian interrupted the pair: “I don’t care, who did what and why. I just want to know what made Jonny run like that.”

Ashes stayed silent and Tim explained: “He just randomly showed up to my room. I thought he was collecting the belt buckle I stole, so teased him a bit, but he suddenly flinched back and he looked all panicked. I asked him if he was alright and at first he got mad, but then I asked again and he got all weird, you know?”

“Weird how?” Brian asked, growing more concerned with every word.

“He got all nice, if that makes sense?” Tim answered, “Like he was trying to stop a conflict, kind of like you get, but we weren’t fighting or anything. I just asked him if he was okay.”

Twin frowns formed on Brian and Ashes faces as they urged Tim to go on. He said: “I asked him if I did something that set him off and told him it was okay to talk and that I wouldn’t use any of it against him, but he didn’t reply. So I offered him tea.”

Ashes raised a brow at him and defensively Tim said: “Hey, it’s not like you would have something better. I’m pretty sure you’re the one that made him snap.”

“What happened after?” Brian asked, desperate to get them back on track.

Taking over Ashes said: “They got here and Jonny did a weird greeting. I made my sandwich, Tim his tea. Then he was hesitating about getting on the stool, so I teased him a bit and then he suddenly jerked back and bolted.”

Brian thought about it and asked: “So you both teased him?” two nods, “What did you tease him about?”

At the same time they said: “His height.”

Directly after the three cursed. Brian pinched the bridge of his nose: “I already thought something was up with him today, he was acting a bit off around me, but I didn’t check up on him. Like an idiot.”

“You couldn't have known, Brian.” Tim said.

“Yeah, don’t beat yourself up over it.” Ashes added, “No use, we should focus on fixing it.”

“You’re right.” Brian nodded, “So, what is our plan?”

At that question the three fell silent.

Over the course of their very long life they had seen too much. They had done many unthinkable things. They’d been there to see civilizations rise and fall. They had waged wars on armies alone and come out as the victors. They had not, however, comforted many people.

“We could ask him if he is alright?” Tim suggested after a silence had dragged on for a while.

“Yeah, like that went so well the last few times.” Ashes commented.

“Well, what do you suggest we do then?” Tim shot back.

“We apologize.” Ashes said with a defiant grin, pleased that they had something to throw back in Tims face.

“Apologize?” Tim asked, very confused.

As a rule the Mechs didn’t apologize. It was hazardous and too much work. They were pricks and they had accepted that a long long time ago, if you did something mean the other knew who it was coming from and no apology would be necessary. But if there was one thing the Mechs also did, it’d be breaking rules.

Brian tapped a finger on his chin and said: “I think they’re on to something. He doesn’t want to say how he is feeling, but there’s obviously something wrong. So if we apologize he might feel better and be open to admitting he’s feeling bad and tell us what we did wrong.”

The next step of their plan was finding Jonny, which wasn’t that hard, since Brian had seen which way he had been running. And soon they found themselves outside of Jonnys room.

Brian knocked lightly and called out: “Jonny? Are you there?”

It was quiet for a moment as the three held their breaths, inside Jonny panicked again after he had just calmed down a bit.

He swallowed and reasoned with himself that there was a locked door between him and his potential attackers, so when Brian knocked again he softly replied: “Go away.”

“You don’t have to open the door.” Brian said.

“Yeah,” Tim added, “we just wanted to apologize.”

On the other side of the door Jonny frowned, why would they want to apologize to him? They’d done nothing wrong, he’d just been stupid, acting like a scared child. He had ran away and hid to panic over just a bit of teasing. They didn’t have to apologize for that.

“You don’t have to, just leave.” Jonny told them, a bit louder than before.

“No, we want to, Jonny.” Tim said, “We obviously upset you over something and we didn’t mean to.”

“Yeah, we’re sorry.” Ashes spoke up as well.

Jonny huddled more into himself. He’d tried to make room for his lungs to expand to calm down, but now he just wanted the comfort of knees digging into his chest and arms tightening around them.

He didn’t want them poking around in what had set him off, he didn’t want them to know why he had reacted like this on a bad day. Jonny wanted the jokes to stay, not for them to walk on eggshells around him like he was going to snap if anyone made fun of his height.

He had manged by himself for many millennia, he did not need to be coddled.

So he bit out: “I don’t want your fucking apology, I want you to leave me the fuck alone. If you think you have something to apologize to me for than you should know I don’t want you near me right now. So. Go. The. Fuck. Away.”

That startled the three knocking on Jonnys door. They had expected him to struggle and be mad at them, but they’d never heard him sound like that. He sounded like a cornered prey that was baring his fangs in a last ditch attempt to scare his attackers off. It was frantic and scared.

They shared a look of wide eyes, before Brian carefully said: “Okay, we will leave. Sorry, uhm, hope you- no, uhm, see you later?”

He cringed at his own awkwardness.

Tim and Ashes agreed also telling Jonny they would leave. Then the three got out there, wondering what the hell had just happened and if Jonny would ever speak to them again.

Jonny waited until the three pairs of footsteps had faded completely and then another minute, before opening the door to check if they were really gone.

When he saw an empty hallway, his shoulders sagged with relief, before he retreated back into his room again, locking the door and hiding under his covers just willing this day to be over and hoping that tomorrow the bad feeling would be gone.

He actually managed to fall asleep at some point, because he woke up a bit later from the sound of someone shuffling through the vents near his room. He shot up and peered over the top of his covers and got his gun from his holster as he waited for the person to arrive.

The grate jiggled and he heard a familiarly accented voice say: “It’s me, Jonny, calm down.”

He lowered the gun and the covers and asked: “Nastya? What are you doing here?”

Nastya crawled out the vent and dusted herself off, before she answered: “I was send to check up on you after Brian, Tim and Ashes practically jumped me thinking they’d done something so horrible that you hated them forever.” she raised her brows and commented, “Which made me wonder what the fuck happened, since they were too panicked for details.”

Jonny groaned and let himself flop back down on his bed. He didn’t answer any further, so Nastya asked again: “Jonny, what happened? Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. Why does everyone ask me that.” he snapped.

“Maybe because you locked yourself in your room and worried three of your crew mates so bad they send me to check up on you?” Nastya told him.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Jonny waved her away, “You’re just not the first today.”

“And why did the others ask you then?” Nastya asked.

Jonny lolled his head to look at her and sighed, before beckoning her closer. She clambered up on the bed next to him, reminding her of a very long time ago.

Nastya could be described as a bean sprout, but she was Jonnys little sister in everything except blood and she would rest her head beneath Jonnys chin or be the little spoon (with very few exceptions).

Carding his hands through her hair, Jonny explained: “I had a few nightmares and was just off today, you know?”, he felt Nastya nod and went on, “I ran into them and it was just all bad. I panicked and ran, it was just too much.”

The hands stopped and when she looked up she could see him press the heels of his hands into his eyes. The pressure helped sometimes.

“Can you explain how it was bad?” Nastya asked gently, “You don’t have to, but do you know what was bothering you today?”

Jonny nodded as his hands returned, the repetitive motion soothing them both. As gentle as before Nastya asked: “Do you want to talk about it or just hug?”

Biting his lip, Jonny thought about it. He wanted to forget today ever happened, but if he told Nastya she would be the one to calm the other three down and get them off his case, which might be worth the reliving.

“I felt helpless.” he mumbled.

Humming in understanding Nastya tried to urge him to explain further. After a beat of silence Jonny continued: “I had a few nightmares, just the usual, but I woke up feeling just… bad. I can’t explain it otherwise, my chest just felt wrong.”

“Your chest?” Nastya repeated with concern.

“Not my mechanism.” Jonny assured her, “Just emotions.”

With the way he said it, you’d think emotions was someone who had personally wronged him, making Nastya chuckle slightly. The chuckle broke the fragile hush that had hung over the room as Jonny laughed as well.

They giggled together for a while, until they stopped with a soft sigh and Nasya got serious again: “So why did that freak them out so bad?”

Jonny wouldn’t have told anyone else, but Nastya was the exception, she’d always had been. So he said: “It just built up and I felt like I was in danger and needed to protect myself, please them until they left me alone. I couldn’t take it and ran. They came by and I told them to fuck off and they did.”

Slowly Nastya was putting the pieces together.

She had witnessed something like this a few centuries ago, when Jonny’d had a day like today. At the time she hadn’t known and when he snapped at her out of defense, she had used her height to tower over him as she snapped back, causing him to flinch so violently he’d almost broken his own neck.

Later, after he had hidden from her for an entire week, he had explained how sometimes his height or lack thereof would make him feel vulnerable and in danger, causing him to snap or please as a defense mechanism.

When the others had started teasing him, she’d gotten mad at them until Jonny had told her he didn’t really mind overall. Just on the bad days, but he could manage them he’d assured her. That had been untrue it seemed.

Although, she mused, he must have had more bad days between then and now that he had dealt with on his own, so that might be underestimating him.

She asked: “Want me to talk to them about it?”

It was silent for a second, then Jonny nodded slightly and mumbled: “Please, but no details, if it isn’t a problem of course.”

Apparently the bad day wasn’t over completely yet.

She assured him she wouldn’t tell them too much and hugged him tighter. Normally a bad day meant Jonny would be the little spoon, but on these bad days it was better for Jonny to feel bigger than Nastya, so she just remained lying on his chest, until both fell asleep.

They slept peacefully that night and the next day the feeling had disappeared from Jonnys chest as sudden as it had come. Nastya left to find the ones, who’d send her, but before she left she told Jonny: “If you ever had a bad day again and can’t find a way out, just tell Aurora and she’ll get you out, okay?”

Jonny nodded thankfully, both know he wouldn’t abuse such a thing and that he really was grateful. Then Nastya left while Jonny opted to hide out for another day.

She found Brian, Ashes and Tim in the common room moping. When she entered they all perked up, she had to smile at that. Tim asked: “And?”

“Well, he isn’t mad at you and he isn’t going to banish all of you out of his life.” Nastya told him, making them all sag in relief, (Nastya still wondered how they’d come to that conclusion),“He just had a bit of a shit day and it all got a bit too much.”

“What can we do to avoid it.” Brian asked.

It had shocked all three of them to see Jonny like that. He was violent and loud, always full of life and not afraid to fight, not scared and subdued and definitely not conflict evasive.

Nastya thought about it for a second, then she said: “If you see him acting off, don’t talk to him. Just turn around and leave him alone, the last thing he wants, is to deal with you along with everything else. Oh, and don’t ask him about it.”

All nodded that wasn’t too hard.

After Jonny came out of hiding a few days later, the three were a bit off around him, but when Raphaella had swept him off his feet and flown with him to the ceiling, telling him quote: “To show him what the world looked like from an other perspective than that of an octokitten.”

They had waited for him to get weird again, but he just playfully attacked her while yelling: “I’ll behead you, to show you what the perspective of an octokitten looks like, winged arsehole.”

And with that it just went back to normal and nothing was every said about it again. Not even the next time it happened a few decades later. When Marius and Brian saw Jonny walking around with hazy eyes and Marius wanted to check up on him, but was stopped by Brian.

There was a lot the Mechanisms did to each other, murder and maiming, but they also respected boundaries and trauma. It was okay to never know what had set Jonny off, just to leave him alone. Simple as that.