#NOT BECAUSSE I AM BRAVE

[kusundei]

im just rlly trying not to think abt it but goddd. GOD. i am genuinely so disappointed in myself it is making me so upset. i ts been on my mind all day but ik thinking abt it i wouldnt have changed anything^_^ i wouldnt have said yes. i would have gotten picked snd thats okay. its just so disappointing because i thought i was BETTER than that. and im too old for this and i dont have an excuse anymore. thats not mr hurtig. this is not mrs v this is not mrs femrite. im not in middle school i cant just crumble and get upset when i cannot function correctly because of my own mistakes. its just awful because i know i couldvr done okay. if i calmed myself down if i wasnt shaking if i wasnt incredibly anxious the whole day already its just what solidified it all because why did i fail. i hate failing and okay retakes but . you dont get it 🙂‍↕️. i just think abt it all the timr can i truly not do it or am i stubborn? i am always like no theres something stopping me i cant do it. yes i can.?

i dont know im just so. frustrated. and i am still upset bur i did not crash out even though i could feel it and my body wanted me to. i hate being disappointed. i only ever disappoint myself and its makjnf me hate. myself again. becauss i am better than that and i know how i am abt grades its just like god what the fuck. and if i fail my algebra test tmr i truly do crash out but i dont even know whag to do and i dont know where to start and km so??? i cant get over the feeling that im incompetent and im disappointed and im stupid. “youre so brave” i shouldnt have to be. you shouldnt have to know that i am struggling that bad and it should just come to me naturally. i know she is not patronizing me but it feels lkke it is and i am jusf so. disappointed in myself. i wish people knew and i wish they cared but i will never put myself there and nor will i let them perceive me that way unless i havw to. i am fine and i am good academically and i dont have TIME

[huggingkoalas]

hi, lumi!

i've been scrolling through your blog since you reblogged a fic of mine and i just wanted to check out — then i saw your vent post. i thought a lot before even considering sending you this, but i'd regret if i didn't do so.

just wanted to say: a few days ago i wrote a fic for Natasha (which was just an excuse) saying everything i am going through as well, the suicidal thoughts, the self harm, i just put everything there and posted. but a few hours later i deleted it since i was too scared and honestly, ashamed to show people that, let them read it.

you're so damn brave and strong for telling that, for strangers especially. i'm honestly tearing up right because i also desperately need help but can't ask for it. i relate to you. so much. i'm tired, don't know how much time i've got before everything falls apart. and i like writing because i don't have anyone else to share my thoughts with or to "lose to the writing".

i hope you hold on in there. i'm far away, and i may not be able to help through the screen, but if you ever need it, i'm here. i am i got a few little good advices and i'm here to listen. xx

hello sweetheart <3

thank you so much for sending me an ask! honestly i’m open to having any conversation with anyone through asks, the asks i get mostly mean no harm and i love sharing my own input/thoughts with other people :3

aww, yeah. i understand putting your feelings into words, especially in writing. it’s why two of my current-ish works, “loss and love” and “out of love” are more... sad than the usual work i put out. i guess you can say that they were vent fics for me.

i can imagine how scary it is to put your feelings into words, and then put it out publicly for everyone. but it takes real bravery to do it, and im so proud of you! i hope you know that even if you aren’t satisfied of a work you put out, there’s definitely someone out there that appreciates it :)

and also, it’s just... sad, that most writers nowadays are really scared of the reader’s reactions/comments to their work. that the amount of likes or repost you get matter more. i struggle with it too, of course, i’d like to think that every writer does, but fully realizing that you’re writing for YOURSELF and not for other people, lifts a weight off your shoulders. no one else’s opinions about your work matter, sweetheart.

i hope one day that i’ll have the chance to read it :) i hope you have the bravery to post it once again, and i’ll be there cheering you on from the sidelines again! i love any fics that have to deal with angst. becauss it just shows that even our favourite characters deal with sadness. it’s like they’re just human — like us, too.

dealing with negative thoughts can take such a toll on the mental health. i don’t really think i’m brave or strong tbh. i’m just someone trying my best to survive a cruel world :)

it’s hard to ask for help at first, but taking the first step into talking about your feelings, just with a “hey, can i tell you something that’s been bothering me?” feels so fulfilling, in a way.

and yeah, i agree that it’s hard to talk to someone especially when you don’t have that someone. and i’d like to offer you a lending/helping hand. i may just some random stranger in the internet, but i’m here for you, sweetheart. my dms (and asks) are always open if you need someone to talk to or just need some advice. i wish i could give you the biggest bear hug right now, you definitely deserve it after everything you’ve been through.

and thank you for reaching out to me. i hope you hold on too. i guess it’s just... even when everything seems hopeless, there’s always something or someone to hold on to. just... go easy on yourself, alright? we’re flawed, after all. just be patient and learn to love and take care of yourself. breathe, and take things slow.

i’m happy that there’s someone out there, too, that’s there for me. i’m here for you too, if you ever need some advice and/or comfort. thank you for such a sweet and impactful message, sweetheart. remember to eat properly and hydrate yourself, alright? <3 :)

it’s 4am right now so i genuinely apologize if it seems like i’m rambling and/or my messages don’t make sense. </3

[hazel2468]

Okay so I am seeing some ReySky stuff. And I have a feeling about it.

First off- if you like that? Fine. It could be interesting.

But I don’t. And not even for shipping purposes. I feel like it would cheapen what Rey has acomplished, what she went through, and that it would dilute the message of these films as a whole.

Rey is powerful and brave and a legend in the making because she is REY. Not because she comes from some legacy. Because she is her, because she made herself. The Force chose her for a reason- and not because she’s another in a line of Force Users. Rey Nobody tells us that yes, anyone can be great. Rey Nobody from Nowhere is a LEGEND. She is a hero. She is an absolute badass who weilds the Force and a saber- and she did all of it on her own merit.

If Rey is revealed as a Skywalker, suddenly all of her greatness is becauss of that. Of COURSE she is a badass Force User- Skywalker. Of COURSE she is our protag- Skywalker.

Rey being a nobody and still being as fucking amazing as she is sends a message, a message that I like and that Kylo even highlighted. They had the legacy character say, flat out, that legacies don’t mean shit. That Rey is special not because she is a somebody, but because she is Rey.

And I just feel like there is something super powerful in that.