#My reaction was exaggerated and I don't appreciate 1) them being a little narc because I just said 'it's a no? okay
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#cryptic post except not really#I just need to yell my feelings into the void because I need a blank sheet of paper to be on my side#I am so tired of being told no when I ask for help#It takes SO much for me to ask and when I don't get the help of course I don't want to ask again??#But I am going to keep doing it because that is what is expected of me whereas I would say 'you touch a pot and get burned? guess what...'#'... you don't touch the pot again.'#And I'm just so angry and frustrated that I am being seen as a problem because I asked for another week of orientation and YES! I have#received pushback on getting help and YES I was not kind about it#My reaction was exaggerated and I don't appreciate 1) them being a little narc because I just said 'it's a no? okay#thank you.' and closed the door in their face#it was not slammed you fucking wet goober#I don't want management to know my name and now they're going to think I'm a problem when I'm apparently expected to be 200% outgoing while#I am struggling to learn a new system and feel confident doing my job#I can do the job but I feel like it is so much harder here because I don't know THEIR system yet and I don't have a community here#why can't the universe let me be petty and small for once??#I just want to focus on me and do well#'you have resources here you just have to know what they are and how to use them'#well it doesn't fuckin feel that way when I get multiple 'no'#I guess I'll keep burning my hands touching the pot#but I need a space to voice that yeah bro I resent it#I will fake care about what you did on the weekend FINE IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES#I am so fucking real when I say I don't give a damn if we get along but I will support you when shit gets real#That's the kind of trust we need to have as a team and I certainly don't feel it#...#thanks for listening void
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