#My hands hurt so I'm shitposting to make myself feel better

[couldyouspeakmyname]

Slapping cheese on the Shishigumi’s Faces

A fun trend is going around online, people are throwing cheese at their feline classmates, friends, siblings, and significant others

-Maeve

Ibuki

How you get them

He’s reading, and he’s half asleep. He’s been reading the same page for more than two minutes, so you know it’s the perfect time to strike. You get the cheap, processed, piece of cheese and toss it on his face. It lands with surprising accuracy.

What they do during

He moves his head back and and tries to sit up and away. It doesn’t work, and he almost goes back over the couch. He has to grab it to get it off. He’s confused, and adjusts his glasses. 

What they do after

Ask you why in the world you’d throw cheese at him. Sternly asks you not to do it again, and pouts that you were able to do it in the first place. Asks if you’re going to do it to anyone else, if you are...he really should be there, to keep you safe of course. 

Free

How you get them

He’s barely waking up at noon. You have to pull the blankets off of him before he concedes and tries to get up. It’s when he’s propping himself up on his arms and trying to blink the sleepiness out of his eyes that you hit him

What they do during

Collapses. Dead ass, just falls back into bed. You hear an ugly hiss. You didn’t know lions could hair their fur stand on end like that. 

What they do after

Loudly complains and throws it back at you (missing completely). He’s already plotting his revenge, and suggesting you throw one at Ibuki and Agata. 

He also tries to go back to bed, clearly this isn’t his day if cheese is attacking him 

Dolph

How you get them

He’s not paying attention. He’s just sitting, thoughts a thousand miles away. You have to sneak up and do it from the side

What they do during

His arms stretch out forward, and he curses. He grabs the back of the couch and tries to move back. It all happens in a span of a few seconds.

What they do after

Cold shoulder. He’s been made a fool. He’s the jester in your court. He’ll pout until you apologize, and even then it’s going to take a lot of sucking up to get him to go back to normal (he’ll be fine by the next day, don’t worry). 

Agata

How you get them

He’s playing a video game, and not paying attention to anything else. It’s a perfect opportunity. You don’t even have to hide yourself, or the cheese because he’s so focused.

“Babe, pause the game”

“Why?” Still not looking at you. 

“Please?” He grumbles, but pauses it, then turns to look up at you, then BAM! Cheese to the face

What they do during

He falls over. He’s on the ground and scramble to back up, shaking his head to get it off. How can you trip over yourself on the floor? 

What they do after

Pouts. Big pout. He’s secretly glad you had him pause the game but OH BOY, is he’s sulking. 

He’s just glad no one else saw it happen.

He wont want to cuddle for a while, but he forgives you pretty quick when he sees it’s a trend online.  

Miguel

How you get them

He’s sitting in his chair, reading the paper. He sips his tea, then sets down his cup. It’s some novelty mug you got him as a joke, but it’s the only one he uses now. You wait around the corner until you hear the page turn of his paper, then throw the cheese from a distance. By some miracle it hits. 

What they do during

Drops his paper and rapidly scoots his chair back on instinct, and hisses. After a few seconds, he grabs it off his face with his hands. 

What they do after

He kind of glares at you, and throws the cheese back at you. 

“Don’t throw over processed cheese at me. You could have least sliced it yourself” 

Sabu

How you get them

He’s lounging on the couch, covering his eyes with his arm while he dozes. You throw it on his snout, or try to.

What they do during

Sabu catches it without even looking. He smirks, and looks over at you, sitting up. Before you know it, it hits you instead. 

What they do after

“Nice try. You’re going to have a few more years under your belt before you can sneak up on me” 

Jinma

How you get them

Jinma is making notes in a variety of notebooks. He’s not paying much attention to anything but that.

“Jinma”

“Hm?” He doesn’t look up.

“Look up,” He does, and you smack a slice of cheese on his face

What they do during

He throws his hands up, and jumps a little in his seat, accidently knocking over his notes and pens. His tail starts flicking in annoyance. 

What they do after

He grumbles, and goes to pick up his notes. He’s a little grouchy, but if you help him pick up, he wont be that mad...for long...

Dope

How you get them

He’s reading, and is completely focused on his book. You walked over. He automatically glances up when your approach, and that’s when you hit him with the cheese. 

What they do during

He backs up, or tries. He makes a hissing/spitting noise and slaps at his face to get it off. His fur stands on end, and he looks up at you. 

What they do after

He’s embarrassed by his reaction, and sulks on the couch in the corner, far away from you. 

Hino

How you get them

He’s napping, or trying to. He’s failing but still stubbornly keeps his eyes closed. You slap it on him

What they do during

He jumps a little and falls off whatever he’s laying on, back up away from whatever is blinding him. It takes him a while before he processes what happened.

What they do after

“...Why..?” He’s to tired to be that mad about it, but he will refuse to snuggle you for at least a day and a half after.