#My cousin is fucked huh 😂

[simpingforthemm]

Hello angel face 🌷

I fell so head over heels in love with your writing ^-^

I was wondering if I could request a headcanon on dating Isaac from My life with the walter boys?

Sending you lots of love ♡

~ 🧸

dating isaac garcia headcanons

a/n: omg not you making me blush 🤭❤️ thank you so much ❤️❤️ and ofc! I really enjoyed writing this since Isaac is so asfjlskjk 😍 I hope you enjoy!

words: 1.4k

summary: what it would be like to date isaac garcia

• as we all know, Isaac is a total ladies man and he has girls all over town crushing on him

• but he's not searching for anything serious with any of them

• if he were to really get into a relationship, his girlfriend would have to stand out

• he wouldn't want to date someone who blindly falls for him without really knowing him

• he wants that slow-burn enemies to lovers typa shit 😌

• me personally I think Isaac would go for an outsider girl who's kinda mysterious

• also probably someone who has a good sense of style and an interest in fashion

• he wants a girl who doesn't just simply agree with everything he says or does, he wants her to call him out on his bullshit, scold him if he's being an asshole etc!

• bc even tho he loves all the attention he gets from girls and he loves when they swoon over him, that stuff can get boring real quick and he just wants someone to be real with him!

• when you first meet, you don't think much of Isaac

• you are of the opinion that he's arrogant af and extremely entitled

• he's the popular guy and you're just chilling with your small friend group, away from all the high school drama

• it's only when you're paired as lab partners in chemistry and have to sit next to each other that you're forced to talk more (forced proximity y'all 😌😌)

• you bicker for a few weeks, exchanging snarky comments

you: "you really have no idea what the periodic table is? fucking stupid ass himbo"

Isaac: "oh so you're saying I'm good looking? can't even insult me properly huh?"

you: "oh stfu"

• it's only until both of you burst out laughing at some stupid video the teacher showed you in class

• and both of you are looking at each other like ????

• "I didn't know you had a good sense of humor too?"

• then both of you find yourself more often than not laughing at the same things

• you start making jokes to each other in classes, still bickering with each other but the bickering turning more into play fighting??

• also now you don't despise having to work together as lab partners anymore

• sometimes you also purposely sit next to each other in different classes just because it's more fun together

• yet both of you would never admit that

• lots of people from school are surprised about your new acquaintance with Isaac bc what is this popular guy doing with this outsider girl?

• but Isaac doesn't care about what other people think bc you're actually really chill and fun to be around

• one day, Isaac decides he's sick of conversing with his admirers and finds that your bickering with him is far more interesting and also more intellectually stimulating (yes 😂) than just having a bunch of girls stare at him with heart eyes swooning over him and just nodding at everything he's saying

• so at lunch he goes over to your friend group's table (actually just you and your two friend's table 😌) and asks if he can sit with you

• your two friends are like : 🤨🤨🤨him?

• but you're like: nah nah guys he's cool

• so you guys are just chilling together for lunch and he realizes what he's been missing out on!!

• he actually gets along with you and your friends so well bc y'all are also fashion mfs like him and not football ppl like his other friends lmao (tho he mostly hangs out with his cousins)

• after lunch he asks you if you want to hang out after school sometime and chill just the two of you, which surprises you but ofc you say yes

• on your first hangout you go to get matcha 🍵 and talk about art (I could imagine that also being one of Isaac's interests) and fashion, also like your fav brands and stuff and how both of you want to model/design/study fashion etc. in your future

• you also deep talk about his dad a lil and how Isaac mostly grew up at the Walter's house bc his dad is in the army

• your hangouts get more frequent and soon you realize it's more than friendship for both of you and that you actually are like in love with each other

• both of you used to always chat during class and laugh together which you still do but now it's just with a little bit of tension and awkwardness bc you're now crushing on each other

"hahaha...yeah that was um... really funny😅haha"

• and somehow Isaac can't flirt with you like he does with other girls bc with the other girls it was never genuine, he didn't really care about them but with you it's like...

• he really likes you and he doesn't wanna f it up

• I think he would get a lil more touchy tho as he realizes he likes u

• for example: you're out at the cinema watching an indie movie together and he puts an arm around you

• you're like: you've never done that before 🤨🤨🤨

• but then you have to hide your blush bc omg!! 😳 he just put his arm around you

• I feel like Isaac is a scaredy cat so he tells you he loves you over text 😭

• he doesn't even tell you he likes you first, bro just goes all out with the L word

• you've just woken up, it's like 6am on a Sunday and you see a text from Isaac from like an hour ago 💀💀

• "I think I'm in love with you lmao"

• and you immediately call him bc wtf???

• you ask him: "is this one of your jokes?" bc ain't no way are you gonna confess too only to be told it's a prank

• "no, no... it's true"

• "and you decided to tell me this over text?? literally wtf Isaac"

• then you're silent for a while and just say "I can't believe I'm about to say this on the phone but...I feel the same"

• then you meet up that same day and the second you meet you're literally laughing saying: "literally wtf Isaac"

• "sorry I, uh.. didn't know how else to say it..", he says awkwardly, looking away bc he's blushingg

• "well, it's fine because.. I love you too"

• Isaac literally perks up even though you've already said you feel the same, it's different hearing you say it in front of him

• then you guys have your first kiss which is literally life changing for Isaac because so far he's only ever kissed girls like for fun and not because he's fallen for them

• so this is a very new experience for Isaac

• you show up as a couple at school the next day and walk the hallways holding hands 🫱🏻‍🫲🏼

• everybody is confused and asks Isaac: "really? her?"

• he answers: "yeah, why? she's cool af?? and I'm literally in love with her??!!"

• so let's talk about your relationship

• you both match fits often and are basically the most stylish couple at school

• you also go thrifting together!

• you guys have a very strong emotional bond and talk about anything and everything literally

• you're his rock and his best friend, he tells you everything

• and by that I mean literally everything

• he also tells you about every prank he plans / has done and he also tells you about the putting bleach in Jackie's shampoo bottle prank

• which you immediately scold him for bc why is he putting that poor girl through this when she's literally still adjusting to the new life in the Walter's house after having to leave her home because her parents died?

• at school you go to Jackie to apologize for Isaac's behavior and offer to help with her hair, which she gladly accepts

• this leads to you and Jackie becoming best friends and to her joining your little friend group with your 2 friends

• (you guys are a better influence on her than Skylar and Grace)

• you also get invited to Walter family events, for example Will's wedding or Thanksgiving

• you can be a bit shy so you always cling to Isaac and Jackie whenever you're there

• But Katherine makes you warm up quickly with her good-hearted nature and you find yourself feeling comfortable in the Walter's home pretty soon

• you get along with Lee pretty well and you just fit in perfectly with the whole bunch

• your parents also love him bc he's literally your prince charming 💕

[islandtarochips]

Sneaky Little Fishy

*Ghost was just talking with Soap and Scarlet for a bit* Ghost: So yes, you can say that about me and Jade- Tiala, out of nowhere: Lieutenant? Ghost: *flinched before looking at Tiala* Uh- Yes, First Sergeant? (Where the bloody hell did she COME from?) Tiala: Captain Price is asking for you. Ghost: Oh. Right. I’ll be there in a minute. Tiala: *nodded and walked away* Ghost: ......*saw Soap and Scarlet was snickering* What are you laughing about? Soap: Snrk- Um uh. Nothing, L.T. Scarlet: Yup. Nothing, sir. Just uh…got something in our throats. Ghost: ......right. *walked away* ~later~ Ghost: *was in a room to look over the briefing they discussed* Tiala, out of nowhere again: Ghost? Ghost: *almost dropped his papers* FUCK- Ghost: *groaned and rubbed his mask* YES, Shark? Tiala: Sorry, do you have the copy of the briefing that we did? Ghost: What? You don’t have one? Tiala: Gaz accidentally spilled his tea all over my papers. Ghost: *sigh before grabbing the extra one and give it to her* Here. Now go. Tiala: Thank you. *took it and walked out* Ghost: ……HOW did I not hear her walking in? ~another later~ Ghost: Like bloody hell. She came out of NOWHERE. I didn’t even sense her coming in! Jade: *smiled a little* Well then, I guess you’re not the ONLY Ghost here. Ghost: DON’T you start. 😒 Tiala, standing behind the two: Excuse me? *the two jolted and turned to look at Tiala* Tiala: Sorry. I just need to go through please. Jade: Right. Sorry, First Sergeant. *move aside* Ghost: *did the same and watched Tiala walked away* ………… Ghost: *looked at Jade and pointed where Tiala was walking* You SEE what I mean?! Jade: Huh? Well, I could see why they call her Shark. Ghost: What? Jade: Great White Sharks are quite good at being sneaky or doing an ambush. Soooooo. Yeah. Ghost: ……*groan* I need a drink… Jade: *giggles*

Arthur's Note: IRL. I always scared my sister and my cousin without them noticing. By accidents and mostly on purpose. 😂

Characters (Left -> Right)

Samantha "Scarlet" Wright -> @welldonekhushi

Charlotte "Jade" Le Jardin -> @sleepyconfusedpotato

Tiala "Shark" Toa -> Me

[valiantstarlights]

[Loving You is Cherry Pie] How It Started

Featuring doting father Alpha!Hob (43) and his son, recently presented Omega!Dream (20).

Not me looking for something appropriate(?) to post on Father's Day and finding this in my notes. 👀

The title is from the song, "Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga. While it could mean that loving someone sweet is as easy and enjoyable as eating cherry pie, knowing that Lady Gaga is allergic to cherries changes the meaning of the lyric drastically.

CWs: Aside from the dead-dove-ness of the premise, there's also toxic family dynamics (Dream's mother and her side of the family) and all the unfun stuff that goes with it, like verbal abuse, gaslighting, etc.

Important: This is (hopefully) going to be a series of non-linear oneshots. Maybe even a series of 'what if' oneshots. Who knows what I'll do? Certainly not me. 😂 Oh, and because this is an omegaverse fic, it's going to be on AO3 for public consumption. Anyway, Happy Father's Day, everybody! 😉

--

The Missus

"Talk to your son, Robert."

"And a very good morning to you as well, Nyx. May I ask what happened?"

"I merely requested, very reasonably, I might add, for him to call you 'Father' instead of his childish nickname for you, and he slammed the door in my face and called me a bitch."

"I see nothing wrong with Dream calling me 'Papa,' though?"

"You see nothing wrong with it. But everyone else is telling me how they think Dream is a spoiled, immature--"

"Everyone else, huh?"

"Yes! Look, I'm just concerned because the boy's birthday is coming up, and everyone on my side will be at the party, and--"

"Wait. A party? Nyx, you know Dream hates parties. And--"

"(scoff) That's your argument? 'Dream hates parties?' (laugh) And so what if he does? It's a family tradition--"

"Be reasonable. Dream is going to be presenting on his birthday, and he's overwhelmed enough with crowds. What more when--"

"Destiny is an introvert as well, and he did admirably at his presentation party. And besides, we both know Dream is just being dramatic, so you need to stop encouraging him. He's almost of age, Robert! He needs--"

"You're right. He's almost of age, and I think it's high time for you to start treating him like he's an adult who can make his own decisions. Have you even asked him what he wants to do on his birthday?"

"(scoff) Lock himself up in his dorm room and read his silly books, no doubt."

"So let him do that."

"Not a chance in hell. The party will be good for him. And besides, when was the last time he interacted with the right sort of people? Ever since he started at that no-name university you stupidly let him attend, he has been meeting all the wrong sorts! No wonder his attitude is becoming worse. He should spend more time with his cousins, especially the twins, who always ask when they'll see him next."

"Ha. Right."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Are you kidding? You know Desire and Despair are only asking when they'll see Dream next so they would know when they'd be able to bully him again."

"Bully-- How dare you! The twins are absolute angels!"

"Yeah. Because knocking Dream unconscious and locking him up in a closet in the attic for almost an entire day when he was nine years old is absolute angelic behavior. If I hadn't found him--"

"My god, when are you going to let that go? It's been…what, a decade? And the twins have already apologized. You were there. You saw that Dream has already forgiven them."

"Okay, one, the twins did not apologize. You made Dream apologize to them, and he only did so because you threatened to throw all his books out of the house."

"That is not--"

"No. You know what? I'm not going to argue about this with you anymore. Dream is going to decide what he wants to do for his birthday--"

"He is going to alpha the fuck up and go to his own presentation party that MY family is so graciously throwing for him--"

"--and you can decide whether or not you want to support his decision. Goodbye. (hangs up)"

--

Dream

"Hey, baby. How are you?"

"…Good."

"Everything okay? How'd you do on your paper? That was due this morning, right?"

"…I am not calling you 'Father,' Papa."

"(sigh) I never said you had to, baby. But you can see where you went wrong, yeah?"

"No."

"You called your mother a bitch."

"She is a bitch. And a hundred other worse things. She's lucky I stopped at bitch."

"Dream."

"Fine. I will apologize to her. For you."

"Good boy. And speaking of, your birthday is coming up."

"I already know what I want."

"If it's hardbound volumes of the complete works of Shakespeare--"

"(laugh) I know you hate him, Papa, so I won't torture you and make you buy things related to him for me."

"Well, that's a relief. Because I was just about to say that I was talking to your mother, and I told her that you're old enough to decide what you want to do for your birthday. So…you know, if you just want to have a pizza party with your closest friends at that gaming cafe you all go to--"

"Oh, Papa, really?"

"I know you hate the Endless's unnecessarily lavish parties, baby. So yeah, really. Consider it an additional birthday gift from me to you. If you want it, that is."

"I…Yes. I would love that. And you will be there as well, right?"

"It's your call, Dream. If you'd rather just celebrate with your friends, I could just pay the gaming cafe in advance and leave you young people--"

"No! I…I would love for you to be there. And you're not that old, Papa. But if you're busy on that day…"

"Me? Busy on my son's birthday? Never gonna happen. I would move heaven and earth and all my meetings so I can share with you all my hard-earned wisdom via dad jokes--"

"Papa--"

"--and now all your friends shall suffer the same fete!"

"Papa!"

"Get it? Fate and fete?"

"…"

"Regretting inviting me yet?"

"…Never. I was just--oh, Jessamy just arrived with our food. Hey, Jess."

"Take-out again?"

"This will be the first time this month. (muffled) Yes, it's Papa."

"Well, just be sure to limit eating take-out meals. I bought you all sorts of kitchen stuff for your dorm so you two could use it for cooking, not for decoration."

"Yes, Papa."

"Don't roll your eyes at me, baby."

"How did you--"

"Ah, hold on. (muffled) Yes, a moment, please. I have to go, baby. But enjoy your dinner and say hi to Jessamy for me."

"Yes, Papa. I'll send you a picture of our food in a bit so you may suffer for your fete joke while you're in your meeting."

"(laugh) Evil. I like it. Well, send away, baby. I'll talk to you later. Love you!"

"I love you too, Papa."

--

Jo

"Hypothetically speaking, if the house is in my name and Nyx barely resides here, can I charge her with trespassing and destruction of property?"

"Jesus Christ. What has the bitch done now?"

"(sighs) Just…we had an argument--"

"Surprise, surprise."

"--and after Dream told her he wouldn't be attending her family's presentation party for him, she has been…"

"A fucking psycho? As usual?"

"Basically."

"How's my cute nephew, anyway?"

"Thriving at university and making friends with equally brilliant people. He was home this weekend, telling me all the updates on his group's DND campaign when Nyx burst in and…well. You know."

"Yeah. And how many times have I told you to divorce her?"

"About as many times as when you pranked me when we were kids. But--"

"No. Dream is almost an adult, and he fucking hates her. There is literally no need for you to suffer her and her crazy family anymore."

"(sigh)"

"You know I'm right."

"You almost always are. So…what, do I need to lawyer up or something?"

"I mean, I already have a list of lawyers for you to choose from, if you're not fucking around anymore."

"(laugh) Hold on to that, then. I'll talk to Dream first and see what he thinks."

"What he-- Hobs, who the hell do you think gave me the list of lawyers?"

"Dream did?"

"…You know, sometimes I wonder if I actually did hit you too hard with that plastic shovel on the head when we were five and you lost all your brain cells that day."

"Alright, that's enough. I think I'm losing more brain cells just by talking to you."

"You can't lose more if you already have none, stupid. But yeah. Think about it. Divorcing Nyx, I mean."

"Been thinking about it more and more, to be honest. But keep that list ready, yeah? Just in case."

"Yep. Bye, Hobs. Tell Dream his favorite aunt says hello to her paleo mushroom bean."

"I still don't fucking understand why you call him that, and why he doesn't mind you calling him that, but yeah, sure. Bye, Jo."

--

Dream

"Happy birthday, baby! I'll see you in a bit. Just gotta get your super secret birthday gift from my super secret lair--"

"Take your time, Papa. And leave the dad jokes at home, please?"

"Mwahahahaha!"

"…That does not bode well."

--

Papa

Papa? (Missed call.) (Missed call.) (Missed call.) Papa, please pick up. I need you.

--

Dream

"Hey, Dream."

"Papa!"

"Dream, I--"

"I'm so sorry, Papa. I suspected, but I didn't really know for sure. I… Do you hate me now?"

"I just need some time to process this. But I'm okay. And no, I don't hate you. This is very much not your fault."

"But…you're not mad at me? I love you."

"…I love you too, baby. I'm just…I needed to breathe for a bit. Sorry for suddenly walking out. How did the rest of the party go?"

"(wet sniffle) It was okay. Matthew ate most of the cake, and I think Lucienne won the most games so she got the chicken dinner crown."

"What do you mean, 'I think?'"

"I wasn't really paying much attention to what was happening after you left. Sorry."

"Oh, baby."

"I just…(quiet sob) I missed my Papa."

"Fuck. I'm so sorry, Dream. I promise I'll make it up to you. We could…I don't know, rewatch your favorite series over an unlimited amount of pizza, or see a Shakespearean play at the Globe Theatre--"

"(wet laugh) But Papa, you hate Shakespeare."

"Yeah, but…I love you more. And I'm willing to put up with that bastard's--ah, hold on. Jo's calling."

"You should take Aunt Jo's call, Papa. I'll be okay."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Jessamy's here. We're rewatching Legally Blonde. Say hi, Jess."

"(muffled) Hi, Mr. G!"

"She says hi."

"Yeah, baby, I heard. So you're sure you're okay over there?"

"Yes, Papa."

"And you don't need anything else? Pizza? Blankets? My secret hot chocolate recipe?"

"No, Papa. All I needed was for you to call me."

"Oh, baby."

"I'm really sorry."

"Dream. You have nothing to be sorry for. And I'm not mad, nor do I hate you. I just…(sigh) It was…and still is, honestly, a bit of a shock. But I will always be your Papa, even if we're not blood-related. Okay?"

"Yes, Papa."

"Alright. I'll talk to you soon."

"Okay. …And Papa?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I still…(deep breath) Am I still welcome to go back home?"

"Of course, baby. You're welcome to come back home any time."

"And…And you promise you don't hate me?"

"I promise. I can never hate you."

"Okay. I love you, Papa."

"…I love you, too, baby."

--

Jo

"Shit. Sorry, Hobs. Jet just landed. Why the fuck were you calling me 27 thousand times? Are you okay? Is Dream okay? What's--"

"Dream isn't my biological son."

"I…What?"

"You heard me. I just found out when he presented as an omega and I reacted to his scent."

"You reacted-- Oh, fuck."

"I had to get the hell away from him as soon as I caught his scent. Calmed myself down a bit. A lot."

"Shit. You're compatible with him?"

"Yes."

"Jesus fucking Christ, Hobs."

"Fucking tell me about it."

"Have you talked to him yet?"

"Yeah. Just now, actually."

"How is he?"

"Worried that I hate him. Or if I'm mad at him. He wanted to know if he could still come home, Jo."

"Why the fuck would you be mad at him or hate him?"

"That's what I thought as well. Because right now? He is the last person on this earth who I will ever be mad at. But that's not what I was calling you about."

"Oh? Dream not being your bio son isn't the reason why you were calling me repeatedly like a fucking lunatic?"

"Yeah. I need you to give me that list of lawyers, Jo."

"Oh, hell yeah. Let's destroy this bitch."

--

The Missus Nyx Endless

We're over.

Excuse me? (Missed call.) Pick up the phone, Robert. (Missed call.) (Missed call.) (Missed call.) (Missed call.) You're acting like a child. (Missed call.) (Missed call.)

Stop calling me. Can't you read? We're over. Done.

And do I get to know why you're so callously filing to annul our marriage a day after our son's birthday, when he didn't even have the decency to show up to his own presentation party?

Yeah, okay.

Well? Go on.

Imagine this, Nyx. Imagine my shock and mortification when Dream, MY son, presents as an omega, and I, his supposed biological father, react to his scent. You know, in hindsight, I can see why you so desperately want him to present as an alpha. Why, if Dream did the 'proper' thing for once and became the alpha you always wanted him to be, then I would never know of your infidelity. In fact, I seem to remember a couple of nurses remarking that Dream looks healthy for supposedly being born premature. But was he really? Or was he born right on schedule? I mean, did you even pay attention in your required Secondary Gender classes? Because an alpha reacting to an omega's scent means that they're not related by blood to them. So yeah. We're over.

(Missed call.) Look, can you just pick up your phone so we can talk like actual adults instead of you suddenly accusing me of infidelity, as if you're some faultless saint who has never lusted after loose omega whores?

Funny. I'll have my lawyers contact you.

(Missed call.) (Missed call.) (Missed call.) (Missed call.)

Yeah, I'm still not gonna pick up and let you scream and gaslight me like you always do. I can fill in the blanks well enough by myself. All those work trips before our wedding? Not exactly rocket science. All I need from you right now is for you to sign the goddamn documents my lawyers are going to send.

And if I don't?

Gee, I don't know. I mean, it's not like my family owns an entire media company and has a lot of connections. Surely I wouldn't destroy you and your family's image, right? Because you've been such a good wife to me and a good mother to Dream, and you have never, not once, cheated on me with another alpha. Kronos, was it? What? Nothing to say? Fucking thought so.

--

Bean

"Aunt Jo?"

"Yeah, Bean?"

"Thank you for earlier."

"Nah. I should've fucking decked the cunt years ago. Glad I got to do it now. Seriously, don't mention it. It was my pleasure. How's your cheek?"

"Papa put an ice pack on it as soon as he could. Mother didn't draw blood, but Papa hasn't calmed down yet. He's calling even more people as we speak."

"Good. Keep that ice pack on your cheek. I'm coming over in a bit. Just gotta finish up here. You want anything?"

"Maybe vanilla ice cream for me and fish and chips from Cain and Abel's for Papa?"

"You got it."

--

CEO of Gadling Corporation Annuls Marriage to Estranged Wife

Robert Gadling, 43, annuls marriage to wife, Nyx Gadling (nee Endless) on grounds of infidelity prior to their marriage. (more on page 6.)

--

Lucienne

"Hey. I just heard the news. You okay?"

"Yes."

"Dream."

"I'm fine."

"But?"

"I don't like that I have to go by Dream Endless now. But I'm glad I don't have to see anyone from that side of the family anymore. I don't like that people whisper about me everywhere I go. But Papa doesn't hate me and I'm welcome to stay with him for as long as I want. It's a mixed bag, but I actually prefer this to how it was before."

"I mean, obviously. I met your mom once and all I could think of was hitting her with a chair. No offense."

"None taken. I wish you had. That would have definitely made last year's Halloween party more exciting."

"Alas. I was too worried about getting arrested in my Uhura costume. You were dressed as Morticia Addams, right?"

"I was. Mother was supposed to be Morticia, but she claims her costume shrank in the dryer and so foisted the costume on me. She went as the Bride of Frankenstein instead. Something about being the wife of a monster."

"Yikes. Thank god your dad had a late meeting and didn't arrive until after she had passed out from drinking most of the alcohol in the bar."

"...Mm-hmm."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Dream."

"It's nothing, Lucienne. I just remembered I have a paper due on Monday that I have yet to do, what with all the...drama."

"Oh! Yeah, of course. Sorry for suddenly going off on a tangent. I really just wanted to see if you were okay."

"And I appreciate you calling to check up on me. Truly."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll leave you to the tender mercies of your academics then, Dream Gadling."

"Thank you. I much prefer that name over the one I have right now."

--

Papa

"Hello? Papa?"

"Hey, baby. Is everything alright? It's one in the morning."

"Yes. I'm safe in my dorm. I was just thinking…Can I still call you 'Papa?' Or do you want me to call you something else now?"

"'Papa' is fine, baby. I mean… (pause) Yeah, I think it would be strange if you suddenly called me 'Robert' or something."

"You don't have to sound so disgusted with your own name, Papa. I think 'Robert' is a perfectly lovely name."

"Aww, thank you, Dream. (paper rustling)"

"Are you still working, Papa?"

"Ha. I wish. No, baby, I'm looking through profiles right now."

"Of employees?"

"(sigh) Of omegas."

"Omegas."

"Yep."

"…"

"You there?"

"Why."

"What do you mean, 'why?' For marriage, of course."

"Marriage."

"(sigh) Yes, Dream. Marriage."

"You and Mother just got your marriage annulled barely a fortnight ago."

"Yeah, well, your Papa's not getting any younger, and the Board is breathing down my neck trying to get me to get married again."

"What do they care?"

"Well, baby, it turns out that I don't have an heir yet."

"What do you mean? Am I not your heir? Did you not raise me to run the company competently one day? I'm good at the job, Papa. You know I am."

"You are. And I said the exact same thing to the Board. But they still want me to have a biological child to inherit the company someday. You know. Far into the future."

"So you have to marry again. And have a biological child with your new omega spouse. Children."

"Look, Dream, it's not like I'm having the time of my life right now."

"And me? Am I…Am I expected to just step aside for this new family of yours?"

"Baby, no. You're still my heir. Even the Board acknowledges how brilliant you are. But--"

"But once I have outlived my usefulness, I will be replaced by someone who shares your blood."

"Dream--"

"I'm suddenly feeling drowsy, Papa. Good night. (hangs up)"

"Shit."

--

Dream

No one will ever be able to take your place, Dream. You are my son, no matter who your biological father is, and I will always love you. (Missed call.) (Missed call.) (Missed call.) Can you please at least let me know if you're safe? I'm getting worried.

I'm safe.

Okay. That's good, baby. Thank you for letting me know.

--

Jessamy (Dream's roommate)

Jessamy? Is Dream alright?

Hey, Mr. G! I mean, yeah? He's quieter than usual, but he's going to classes and eating and sleeping normally. Is everything okay?

Not sure, actually. Look, can you please keep an eye on him?

Yup, sure thing! Anything in particular you want me to look out for?

Just strange behavior, I suppose. The two of you have been roommates for a couple of years now, so in a way, you know better than I do what to look out for.

--

Eleanor

"I'm sorry. I don't know what has gotten into him."

"Hey, it's okay. It's totally understandable that he'd be very protective of you."

"It's just… I've never seen him act like that before. He's usually so well-mannered."

"Seriously, Robert, it's fine. Sure, he glared at me the entire night and interrogated me like I'm a criminal, but given what you both have been through, I get it. If I were in his shoes, I would totally do the same thing."

"I don't think you would 'accidentally' spill a glass of red wine over another person's clothes, though."

"Pssh, please. I have 'accidentally' spilled many an alcoholic drink when I was in uni as well. Granted, I spilled them mostly on handsy alphas."

"I'm really sorry."

"And I really don't mind. It's a dress, Robert. I can get it dry cleaned. If anything, Dream has provided me with the perfect excuse to go shopping."

"You don't have to be so understanding about this. He was a right little hellion tonight."

"Trust me, I've dealt with worse. Oh, hold on. (muffled) Oh, thank you, Chris. I just got home."

"Good. Great. I'll see you soon?"

"(laugh) I'll see you during our business lunch on Monday, Robert. And don't worry, it will take more than a glass of 'accidentally' spilled red wine on my dress to scare me off."

"(relieved sigh) Thanks, Eleanor."

"Ellie. You've dabbed enough napkins on my person to call me Eleanor."

"Ellie, then. Good night."

"Good night, Robert."

--

Dream

"Dream. Care to explain your behavior tonight?"

"Not really."

"Dream."

"Robert."

"…Okay, I'm going to give you time to calm down, but I still expect that explanation from you. And an apology to Eleanor."

"…"

"Dream."

"(hangs up)"

--

Jessamy (Dream's roommate)

Um, Mr. G? Dream came back yesterday at around 3AM, and he was really hungover this morning. Please don't tell him I told you.

Alright. Thank you, Jessamy.

--

Dream

"I said no, Corinthian."

"…Corinthian?"

"…Papa."

"Anything you need to tell me, baby?"

"Nothing that concerns you."

"Right."

"…"

"Well, I just called to tell you I won't be home this weekend."

"Understood. I am to let no one in, and all exterior doors must be locked at all times. Should an intruder somehow get past security, I am to hide in the safe room first and call you and/or Aunt Jo second."

"(sigh) Dream…"

"Is there anything else?"

"I miss you."

"…"

"We've barely talked since I started meeting with potential omega partners, and when we do talk, I get the sense that you'd rather do anything else than talk to me. What do I have to do? I feel like I'm suddenly doing everything wrong where you're concerned."

"If I ask you to stop meeting with other omegas, would you do it?"

"Baby…I have to."

"Then there's nothing left to talk about."

"You know you're one of the most, if not THE most important person in my life. I want you to be a part of this decision too. Anyone I choose must also have your approval."

"And if I choose no one?"

"(sigh) Baby…"

"You say I'm important to you. But--"

"Hold on. (muffled) What? Now? Goddammit. (sigh) Listen, baby. I have to go. But I'll call you later, okay? Just before my plane leaves, as always. I hope you answer. I don't like leaving on a plane without talking to you beforehand. You're my good luck charm, you know?"

"Fine. What time shall I expect your call?"

"(muffled) Yes, it's Dream. Just one more second, Ellie. What was that, baby?"

"Nothing. I said I'll pick up when you call. Is that Eleanor?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. We're both attending the same international conference, so I invited her to just fly with me on the jet."

"...I see. I have to go to class now."

"Oh, of course. Sorry for keeping you. Have a good day at school, baby. Love you."

"(hangs up)"

--

Papa

Ppa help In eed you Ith urts

[snowblossomreads]

Day 19- A Helping Hand

Pairing(s)/Character(s): Lionel Shabandar x Fem!Reader, Lionel Shabandar & OC (Angie Huang), Background Sinclair Bryant x OC (Amiee Huang)

Summary: In where Lionel needs a helping hand after his previous curator's screw up. Continuation of Day 11 Out of Reach

Tag(s)/Warning(s): None!

A/N: We are backkkk! This part is kind of told from Lionel's POV but like in a third person kind of way LOL. It's mostly focused on him but reader is there to she's just in the bg for this one 😂. Anyways let's see how Lionel is going to fix the mess Earl made.

"Hello?"

'Who's that?'

'Lionel!'

'At 9 pm? Did someone kick the bucket?'

"Not yet. But if things continue as they are, my previous curator may find himself in a bit of a dilemma."

"Oh, Li don't say that like that, I'm sure it was an honest mistake! Worst time to make one but a mistake all the same."

"Well, he is free to find somewhere else to make idiotic mistakes as effective today he is no longer on my payroll," Lionel groused, still burning at the thought of Earl's major fuck up that was threatening to make him look like a fool. And no one made Lionel Shabandar look foolish. "Now may I speak to your soon-to-be fiancé about this business?"

The way Sinclair sputtered on the other end of the phone at him saying the F word out loud gave Lionel some satisfaction. No one else knew at that point, considering his cousin had come to him asking if it was possible to book a private showing at Monet's house in Giverny next year. The plan was for Sinclair to propose to Amiee there on the Japanese bridge in the spring, right when all the flowers were in bloom, and the temperature was perfect.

And being the kind cousin he was, who also happened to be a generous sponsor to the Monet foundation, well, those strings were not hard at all to pull. 

"Shhh! Why would you say that out loud? You better be glad she just went back into the bathroom," Sinclair hissed lowly at his cousin whose smirk was ear to ear at how flustered the other man was. "Just wait a minute let me put you on hold okay?"

"Yes, yes that's fine," Lionel responded before the opposite line went silent for a few moments. 

He waited as patiently as a man on a deadline could, tapping his foot as he tried to pay attention to some work. However, he ended up being distracted by his cat jumping on his lap, and looking for attention from him which Lionel gave. Petting the orange cat, with a lion's shave as its tail swished slowly as it relaxed in his owner's lap Lionel waited.

No more than five minutes could have passed before he heard a click on the other end, signaling he had been taken off hold, and then a warm feminine voice came through the line.

"Hiya Lionel!" Amiee answered, "Sorry about the wait, was getting some stuff sorted before bed. Clair said you needed to ask me something?"

"Yes actually, am I correct in thinking he already told you about my little debacle with my curator?"

"Oh yeah," there was a tone of sympathy in her voice as she spoke.  "We were at lunch today and he told me all about it, sorry to hear about that. Do you think everything's going to be fixed by gala time?"

"Well that is the hope and the reason I'm calling you."

"Huh?"

"Your sister, was she not doing a degree in fine arts at the Royal Academy?"

There was a pause on the line before she answered. 

"Mhmm, yeah actually. I think she's currently interning for Tate Modern to finish some stuff out for her dissertation. And I can feel you rolling your eyes." And he was. "But modern art is as important as any type of art."

"Even if you admit you don't understand it either?" He asked knowing they had had this conversation before.

"Yes, maybe."

A short huff of amusement left his lips, and the sound of her laughing came through the receiver. 

"Well, I'm assuming that with that degree she doesn't just have an education in modern art?"

"Course not, they have all sorts of courses, or they better have with how much it costs. I think her focus is on painting and design. You'd have to ask her about details though." 

"Excellent to hear, because the reason I’m calling,  is that I would like to see if she could help with this little dilemma that we are facing, and I needed her phone number. Sinclair wasn't keen on giving it out without your approval, which I think was silly, and said I needed to talk to you."

"Hahah! Did he really tell you that?" 

"We are talking at the moment are we not?"

"We are. Hold on Lionel one second."

And he did, his fingers still scratching the now-napping cat in his lap, as he heard the one side of her and Sinclair's background conversation.

'Did  you actually tell him you couldn't give him Angie's number without asking me? '

He didn't hear what Sinclair said but whatever it did had her giggling and what sounded like a kiss was exchanged.

'Love you.'

"Am I interrupting something?" Lionel asked.

"Aww, am I mithering you with kissing your cousin?" Amiee teased, her voice still holding a titter of laughter in it as she came back. 

"No, but I don't fancy hearing you snog him."

"Fair enough. But of course you can have her number! You actually already do."

"What?" 

"Angie lives in my flat! You have that number; just give it a ring and you should get her."

The urge to give his cousin a brotherly smack was strong and he couldn't stop the irritated huff that he let out.

"Also, Sinclair is laughing."

"Tell him, I'm very keen for him to meet my new security system when he comes to visit the estate next week."

"That doesn't make any sense but I'll let him know!"

The conversation continued for a few more minutes before he hung up, not before wishing them a good night though, and thanking Amiee once again for being more helpful than his cousin.  

Letting out a sigh, he checked the time to decide whether he would give the other woman a call, but he decided to wait, as the clock showed a quarter till 10. As anxious as he was to get this sorted, not that he would let anyone see that, he decided against calling right then. Better not to bother someone so late before asking for their assistance.

"Lionel?" [Y/n], his trusty assistant called out to him from her desk. His attention went from his work to her, as he watched her place her phone down on the desk to speak to him.  "There's an Angela Huang here to see you. I didn't see her in your diary today though…do you want me to tell her you're busy at the moment?" 

"No, it's fine it slipped my mind to let you know she was coming today, tell downstairs to let her up."

"Of course!"  

Doing as she was told, and telling the front reception to let the guest come up, he listened to her thank them before hanging up and posing a question to him.

"Also, who is she?"

"Hopefully the person that is going to help us clean Earl's mess up," he grumbled, still quite bitter at how all of this was turning out. "She might even become my new curator depending on how things go. Though, she comes highly recommended from people I know." 

Her sister and his cousin.

He watched as [Y/n] bit the inside of her cheek and tilted her head in a fashion that signaled that she was thinking, and the action was quite adorable to him. 

What was she thinking about? He wondered. He didn't have time to ask before her desk phone rang again, causing her to focus back on the present. With a fluid motion, she picked up and listened to the person on the other end before nodding and saying,

"Yes, let her in, he's waiting for her." Before hanging back up. 

That meant their guest was just outside. Pushing himself away from his desk, Lionel stretched his limbs, letting out a low groan as he released the tension in his muscles.   If he had looked towards [Y/n], he would have noticed her staring awfully hard at him, before turning her attention towards the foggy glass door at the sound of a light tap.

"Come in," he called, as he walked toward the middle of the room just as the door opened to reveal their guest.

An Asian woman with doe eyes, and dark hair, dressed casually in a turtle neck jumper with a leather jacket, paired with jeans and boots walked in with a grin plastered across her lips. 

"Lionel Shabandar!" She shouted with glee, as she approached him like a woman on a mission. And she was on a mission. "Who would have thought London's richest man would need a helping hand from a little old Manc girl?" 

"Richest man in the UK, love," he corrected with a smug smile on his face as he met her in the middle. They both stopped in front of each other as [Y/n] was in the back watching this all unfold with an intense interest. 

"Oh I'm so sorry, should I bow to you, Lord Shabandar?"  She snarked with ease.

"I wouldn't be against you doing that," he shot back without hesitation.

They both stood in front of each other and from [Y/n] position it was like they were sizing each other up. Yet within seconds, Angela was snickering while Lionel let out a deep chuckle as he went to kiss both her cheeks.

"Angie."

"Lionel."

They greeted each other warmly, and made the other woman who was watching the scene wonder if they actually knew each other, as you usually don't walk in to a meeting with such bravado. Especially , when meeting someone like Lionel. But he seemed more than happy to play along. An uncomfortable twist made its way into [Y/n] stomach, as she watched them talk comfortably for a moment before her eyes met Angie's.

The dark haired woman paused her conversation with Lionel and smiled at her before speaking.

"Hiya over there, and what's your name?"

"[Y/n][L/n], ma'am."

"Oh no, no ma'am stuff I'm not a part of the posh community like your boss is," Angie pointed out throwing up a glance to Lionel who narrowed his eyes playfully at her, "just Angie is fine! Lionel, you don't make her call you sir do you?" The woman asked, turning her attention back to Lionel.

"Of course not, we've always been on a first name basis haven't we not [Y/n]?"

"Yes, ever since I started working here actually," she responded truthfully. 

It wasn't the same for the other staff she worked with. They would call him sir or even Lord sometimes, but he had insisted she just call him Lionel. Saying something about how they were working so closely together, that it be best that she was comfortable being informal with him.

"Wow, that's so nice of you, not making people call you Lord Shabandar. I think Amiee's right, Sinclair might be rubbing off on you."

Lionel rolled his eyes at her statement before he turned on his business mode, they had little time and much to do. 

"Yes well, now that we've gotten through the pleasantries, I think we should have a seat and discuss in detail why I've asked you to come," he explained as he led the woman to a sofa on one side of the office. "[Y/n] could you please bring us the rest of the notes you have?"

"Of course!" The pep in her voice had Angie raising an eyebrow at the woman, and [Y/n] had to stop the bashful look that tried to paint itself on her face. 

Once she had come over and sat down in front of the pair, she and Lionel explained that Earl had gotten the theme and preferences of the gala all mixed up, and now, they were running up against a deadline and Lionel was not about to be made a fool of. The ask was simple. To fix it. The process though, not that simple. But he be a fool to let the previous man fix what he had messed up in the first place.

And that was how he wrangled his future sister-in-law to help them curate the gala collection with only a few weeks left. She clearly told him she had only some experience working with others when it came to curating and organizing, but she would do as much as she could to make sure that everything came together as he imagined in such a short time.  And if she was anything like her sister when it came to work, he had no doubt that her best was better than many others. 

For three weeks, the three of them worked overtime. And if it wasn't for Lionel's distaste for sleeping on anything other than a firm king-size mattress with premium sheets, they would be sleeping in the office. Which both Angie and [Y/n] agreed was a blessing in disguise, not having to sleep in the office that is. 

It was on one of those late nights, where Lionel was sitting behind his desk, Angie standing beside him as she pointed out the reason she was arranging things like she was, did he find his mind and eyes begin to wander.

The subject of his wander was his little assistant who was dozing off at her desk. Her head bobbed up and down as she tried to stay awake to look at her notes and finish up some things that he had thrown at her. With the gala stuff moving at a furious pace, he had no time to look at some of the things his staff had sent so he had been piling it all on her.

Add to that, and her also having to help with gala stuff, she was running on fumes. They all were but she was having a harder time not showing it and he could tell.

"If you're not going to pay attention to me, can you at least go and tell her to go home. She's gonna get a crick in her neck," Angie murmured, pausing her explanation seeing as she might as well be explaining herself to thin air since he wasn't listening.

"Mmm you're right, it is getting a bit late isn't it," Lionel acknowledged as he looked at the clock on his desk that read 12:45 am. It was already a new day how nice. "We still have work to do, but no use in making her stay."

"Yeah, lucky her for having a boss that likes her so much," she responded with a tiny smirk as she caught him looking over in [Y/n]'s direction once again, "while you do that I'm going to go to the toilet and get more coffee."

"Hmm alright, a little break between this shouldn't put us behind," he answered, looking down at the mock-up of where each art piece would be placed and how they corresponded with the theme. "We seem to almost be done it looks like actually."

"We? You mean me, right?" Angie corrected before she circled around the desk to leave the room for a short break. 

Leaving him and his assistant in the room, Lionel got up from his desk and walked over to [Y/n] who was moments away from truly falling asleep. It seemed the sound of his shoes clicking against the polished office floor, was enough to bring her back to attention, her eyes widening as he approached, and she began to move things around her desk as if she hadn't been falling asleep.

A smirk crossed his face as she pretended that nothing was wrong, and he couldn't help the amusement that he felt bubble up in his chest.

"[Y/n] that's enough for tonight, I'll see you bright and early tomorrow for a meeting with the investors at nine."

She frowned at his words, not very keen on leaving until they were done with their work for both work reasons, and well personal ones that were kind of selfish, but he didn't need to know. "But I thought you both were still working on the art organization? I'll wait until you're both done, god knows I have stuff I need to finish filing away." 

"We are, but I don't see the need to keep you here when you've already done enough for the day. Go home, get some rest. Your filing will still be here tomorrow."

"No, Lionel it's fine I'll stay it's not a -," she began to protest that she was fine to work, but that was quickly put on hold when she let out the largest yawn that seemed to go on for a few minutes too long.  When she was done, she couldn't the heat that made it’s way to her cheeks as Lionel looked at her with a raised eyebrow that practically said, 'I told you so.'

"You were saying?" 

Biting her bottom lip, she avoided his gaze, looking at the mess of work on her desk, yet her brain was too tired to even focus on it. Maybe he was right…

"Okay okay I guess I should call it a night," she sighed, resigned that she really needed to get some rest even if she wanted to stay. "I'm really sorry Lionel I'll make it up to you." 

"Make it up to me? Darling please," he sighed, putting his hand on her shoulder and giving it a squeeze. She so wanted to melt into his touch, warm and firm but she held back, keeping her eyes on him as he spoke. "You've already made it up to me by running about putting out fires with the departments while I try to get a handle on this gala. I believe I'm the one who should be making it up to you after this."

"Well, it's my job to make sure everything you do ends  in success, even if it's just me running around and telling everyone what you need from them," she replied truthfully.

He smiled, a warm genuine smile, and it made her stomach flip. His smile was so nice, especially when it reached his eyes that while also seemingly tired were still very beautiful.

"Yes and you can't do your job if you're moments from falling asleep in a pile of papers, so please go home, I'll be here in the morning and so will your work."

Mulling over his words, and just feeling how her eyes burned and her limbs ached, she finally relented.

"Okay okay you're right," she answered, "I'm no use if I'm drooling all over the papers."

Or drooling over him really.

"Exactly, get some rest [Y/n]."

"Yes sir," she answered with some cheek that had Lionel smirking.

Taking some time to gather her stuff, she finished by clicking off her desk lamp and saying good night to Lionel who had been gazing out the window and looking at the quiet London streets. He wished her goodnight and watched her make her way to the door, only to be stopped by Angie who was coming in. A cup of coffee was in her hand as they chatted briefly before they said good night to each other, and Angie then made her way towards him as he sat back behind his desk and she took her seat in front of him.

"You know, I'm pretty sure [Y/n] likes you," the woman spoke as she took a sip of her coffee, and looked at the spread of photos on his desk. 

"I'm sure she does, her salary is almost triple the average of some of the executive assistants in London. I'd like me to."

He watched her roll her eyes at his statement before she sat the coffee cup down, her arms crossed against her chest and a barely audible sigh leaving her. "Are you daft or something? Would it be clearer if I said she fancies you?"

"No need to be so up in arms Angie," he teased, causing her to narrow her eyes in annoyance at him. It only made him let out a muted chuckle as she leaned back in her chair. "I understand what you meant the first time, don't worry. Now, that begs the question of why do you think that?"

"Oh please don't act like you don't notice it, I noticed it the minute I walked in. She stares at you when she thinks you don't notice and is terrible at hiding it too."

"Yes I have noticed."

"See! Also, she really doesn't have to be here this late to help us, considering we're almost to the end but she did. All to make sure we probably weren't snogging or something."

"Well, if you are interested in doing that we can." 

"Thanks but no thanks. You're not my type, and I'm not yours either"

"Really? And how would you know that" He drawled, doing his best to give her the most smoldering look even if it was just to tease her. "I find that most women fall prey to the Shabandar charm easily, care to test that theory out?"

He was met with her staring blankly at him, and for a moment, he was slightly put off which was very usual. "Yeah no thanks. Again that doesn't get me off, and you know what I've just noticed, you look waaaay too much like Sinclair. Sure you two aren't twins or something?"

"Our mum's are."

"Ah that makes sense, so genetically brothers?"

"Have you been hanging out regularly with him because that is something he would say." 

"Well he is trying to marr-." 

She stopped short of finishing her sentence, eyes going wide as if she knew she was almost about to spill a secret, which she was. Thankfully though it was a shared one.

"I thought I was the only one who knew. Don't worry he came to me for help about a proposal venue."

"Oh thank god, okay. Phew," she sighed in relief, wiping an imaginary bead of sweat off her forehead. "Almost mucked that up didn't I."

"Almost."

"Anyways this isn't about them this is about you, and [Y/n]. She fancies you Lionel and so do you. Most bosses aren't as nice to their assistant and they sure aren't as touchy feely either." 

"Most aren't because they probably find themselves on the wrong side of a lawsuit," he pointed out.

"Exactly, but she's not suing you anytime soon, you should ask her out after this. Oh!" A thought popped into Angie's head and she clapped her hands at how brilliant it was. "Bring her to Amiee's 30th it's right after the gala. She can meet her future in-laws."

"Ah yes, Sinclair did ask if I was coming, I told him I wasn't sure yet with everything going on."

"Well now you are."

Lionel paused and looked at her strangely.

"Have you always been like this?"

"Like what?" She asked, sipping her coffee as her eyes continued to roam over the photos on his desk and back to him.

"Straightforward, crass, outspoken."

"I know you want to say lower class and I'm proud of you for not. So yes, mostly. Amiee and me joke that even if she's older, I somehow got all the audacity."

"I can tell."

"Great! Now that we got that settled," she announced clapping her hands together. "I think it's about time we put these pieces together because I don't think this coffee is going to keep me awake too much longer," Angie pointed out as she stood up to get a better view of everything as Lionel just shook his head in amusement.

Hmm, he may have just found his new personal curator, and wing woman too at this point in his helping hand. 

[dreamwritesimagines]

I just had a nap and dreamed this so bear with me. A HC where there's a meeting going on so Bucky is at her house (in my head, Bucky, Steve's territory are the closest to her father's so they tend to stick together and meetings take place at his house because her father is the oldest of the three) and she needs Ian to think she's only hooking up with Bucky, like he suspects she's plotting with him to take him down and she's a petty bitch that's just like 'how dare you be right about me' so she takes Bucky into her room and immediately starts making out with him and he is into it, of course, but also totally confused.

"Shit- Hi."

"Yeah, hey. Get on the bed and take off your shirt."

"Okay," his shirt already halfway past his head. "Wait a minute, what's happening?"

"I'll explain later," she climbs into his lap, ignoring his choked noise and threading her fingers in his hair. "I just need you to cooperate on this one, okay?"

"You can do whatever you want-" he stops when she bites his lip and rolls her hips against his. "Is this- fuck, baby. Does this mean you're saying yes?"

"Yes to what?," she looks at the door she very deliberately left open. Maybe if she unbuttons his pants her idiot cousin might show up faster, it always was the case based on the stories Becca told her about walking in on her brother and some girl.

"Huh? Yes to my proposal-"

Then Ian walks by and sees them.

OMG OMG OMG-😱❤️

HONEEEEY!😍😍😍

This is absolutely genius and amazing and aaaaaaa I love it so so much! 😍 I can literally see this scene and it needs to happen in the story and I'm so gonna fangirl over you, just-

So first of all, definitely yes! I feel like Charm's father's territory is very close to theirs as well, that's also how they were in each other's house all the time while growing up 😁 And also, making Ian think she's only hooking up with Bucky makes so much sense! ❤️ They need to make their plans subtle 😏

"Okay," his shirt already halfway past his head. "Wait a minute, what's happening?" ASDFGHJKL I can almost hear this 😂 The blood was not going to his upstairs head, that's for sure 😏

"I'll explain later," Charm honey he's going to think you're going off to your honeymoon after this! 😂

"You can do whatever you want-" HELP, THIS LINE IS SO 😍

"Yes to what?," The fact that they both have completely different things in mind about what's happening, I can't stop giggling 😂

"Huh? Yes to my proposal-" Bucky still has one braincell left during all that and it's all about their marriage 😁

Darling I just- this is so amaziiiiing! ❤️ You're so so talented, I will reread this so many times! 😍

Lollll oh once Ian sees them, he would definitely go like,

"Ugh, get a room!"

"We are in a room!"

"Maybe bother closing the door then-"

"Go away!"

"Barnes, you're expected downstairs for the meeting-"

"Ian, if you don't leave right now, I will fucking shoot you. I don't care what it does to the truce."

And then Ian would leave and Charm would get off, then fix her dress and while Bucky is still in a haze, she'd be like;

"That was great, thanks a lot. You can leave now."

"Wha-?"

"You have a meeting, you heard him."

"I don't care about the meeting, what just happened?"

"I had a plan and you helped me out."

"We can uh- you know, we can continue with the plan-"

"No need, I'll see you later."

[olenvasynyt]

The van bros (and their parents) have been invited to their second cousin once removed's wedding.

Who:

tries to cancel last minute citing an "illness" when in fact they just wanted to stay home and not be bothered by people for once;

sleeps with the maid of honour (she's married);

somehow winds up running the liquor booth and is pouring everyone doubles;

forced to participate in the conga line (has fun but will never admit it);

is on the dance floor 95% of the evening;

is horribly sick after drinking one to many shots from the vanbro bartender;

does the Irish Goodbye

drunkly decides its time to air their family grievances via the unmanned microphone;

tackles the brother airing the family dirty laundry;

sits back the entire evening enjoying the chaos;

back at the hotel - is forced to sleep in the bathtub because not enough rooms were booked.

Obsessed with the specifics of second cousin once removed and honestly because I am close to my second cousin once removed 😂

Raivis tries to say that he can't go but Lady of Autumn finds out and yells at him and guilts him into going ("you and cousin Aho were close friends when you were younger! This is an important wedding!!)

Galeti sleeps with the maid of honor ofc. And he ran the liquor booth and that's how he met her lmao. Gave her a dirty martini and made a dirty joke and they ended up in the back 30 minutes later. Lucien's friends say Lucien should run the liquor bar but Lucien shrugs it off and jokes that he would just drink everything himself.

Omg I'm not sure who would do the conga line but I'm picturing Raivis doing it and it's so funny 😂

Galeti and Lucien are on the dancefloor for most of the evening (Galeti when he's not fucking and serving drinks that is lmao) Eris wants to dance but he only dances with certain people to make an impression. I feel like he is mostly sitting back and watching everything.

Elmar is horrible sick after going to the bar but not because he drank too much. Galeti put something in his drink lmao.

Honestly the Irish goodbye should be called the Vanserra goodbye because I feel like they all kind of do it in their own different ways. Idk if you have seen The Office but Jim is a master at leaving parties early and he says the technique is to make an impression: take pictures, have a good converstaion, etc. Aatos is the Jim of the Vanserras lmao. He is nice and impressionable and he is clever enough to sneak away early. Raivis also does the Vanserra goodbye but he just gets up and leaves and everyone notices and feels a wave of relief 😂😭

LMAOOOOO I feel like Jora or Elmar would drunkenly air his family grievances in an unnmaned microphone. I feel like Jora is the cry-screamer and Elmar just got in a drunk argument with a cousin and wants to get out his frustrations. Eris is shutting down either situation: he laughs and pulls away the microphone from crying Jora and goes something like "haha weddings get everyone so emotional, huh? Congratulations to the bride and groom! (proceeds to distract everyone with a clever speech)"

With drunk Elmar, he is just tackling him. He would probably have to wrestle the microphone away and you just hear amplified grunting and swearing.

Lucien is forced to sleep in the bathtub because "he's the youngest". 😂

WHO IS SENDING ME THESE LMAO REVEAL YOURSELF

I love how I am writing all of these cute AUs for my Vanserra bros but I literally have less than 3 chapters with them, and Aatos has barely been introduced 😂. I worked on a few good chapters though! Raivis and Eris training while Beron and Ensel watches them, and Lucien and Galeti and Ensel in Summmerrrrrrrr. Spoilers but not really

[nattinatalia]

Jack Harlow x Reader : Instagram AU

Read this first 👉🏻 🩵

A/N : I changed the lyrics from “Is that Ight” so it can fit my story!!!!!!

Liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt, neelamthadhani, djdrama, claybornharlow, and 6,456,976 others

yourusername Celebrating my husbands new album. Prepare to be sick of me because this will be the only thing I’ll be listening to all year long.

View all 1,500 comments

neelamthadhani 🙌🏼🥳

jackharlow I love you 😘

jackharlow All the cards stacked against her, but she learning how to deal 🤞🏼

jackandynaremyparents 🥺🥺🥺

urbanwyatt 🎥 by me 😏

yourusername Always 🙌🏼 thank you Urb.

yourbestiename Bitch you look hot!!!!!! Wish I was there!!!!! But congratulations to your hubby, love the album, he did amazing.

yourusername Miss youuu, & thank you babe, I’ll let him know 😘

•

Liked by yourusername, urbanwyatt, russ, g_eazy, djdrama, yourbestiename, and 9,355,876 others

jackharlow And I’m cumming in my girl like I’m sterile.

View all 2,900 comments

yourusername 🙈 🙈 🤭🤭🤭 Baby Harlow number 2 loading…..

urbanwyatt huh?

claybornharlow WAIT WHAT????

cozane UNCLE TWO TIMES!!!!

urbanwyatt No way this is how we’re finding out that y/n is pregnant. There’s no way!!!

neelamthadhani She was drinking tonight idiots, so obviously not pregnant.

yourusername 😭😭😭😭 They’re a little slow, but that’s okay.

jackharlow 🤦🏼‍♂️

user Not the security looking at y/n like that 🤣

yourusername Not at me lol, my cousin was behind us acting a fool 😂 but we love her.

nemoachida You two clean up nice 🥶

yourcousinname Thank you for inviting me tonight. Had a blast. Jack, this album is everything and more!!!!!

•

Liked by jackharlow, claybornharlow, yourbestiename, g_eazy, badbunnypr, and 2,567,976 others

yourusername “10 children and 1 wife, That’s how I wanna live my life, is that Ight?” Well you better because I’m not letting you leave anytime soon, or ever!!!!!! 1 down 9 to go I guess 🤭🤭🤭😏😏😏😏

View all 8,346,876 others

jackharlow 😂😂😂😂 I knew you were going to call me out on this one!!!!

yourusername 👀 You know me too well.

claybornharlow 10 Harlow kids? Damn I’m not ready to be uncle to ten kids!!!!!!!

jackharlow You’ll have time to get used to it.

druski Mia is a menace enough, imagine 9 more of her????

jackharlow My little girl is nothing but nice, so I don’t know what you’re talking about.

neelamthadhani I knew that line was for you 🙌🏼

yourusername I mean for who else would it be for?????? 🤔

jackharlow 🫣🫣🫣🫣

nemoachida 💀💀💀💀💀

•

Liked by jackharlow, claybornharlow, djdrama, yourbestiename, badbunnypr, and 7,976,345 others

yourusername JACKMAN OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!! I feel like everyday you amaze me, your craft and how you handle everything around you amazes me. We listened to the album in our bed, just us two. The world couldn’t prepare me for the wave of emotions that would come crushing down on me. Baby, you deserve every bit of of happiness, success and praise. After we listened to it, I asked you if it was okay for me to listen to it on my own. I can’t say what I feel right now, all I know is that I promise you to hold you extra tight, to love you the way you deserve to be loved. If I haven’t said it enough, I’M SO FUCKING PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!!! I knew it, I knew the world wasn’t ready for Jackman, because quite frankly, I don’t think I was either! I LOVE YOUUUUU 🩵🩵🩵🩵

View all 1,900 comments

jackharlow Babe 🥺

jackharlow I fucking love you so much. Always thankful for having you in my life. The nonstop support and love from you, doesn’t go unnoticed. Without a doubt, the love of my life, my soulmate.

yourusername 🥺🥺🥺 Stop making me cry.

druski Seriously stop already, seeing her cry at the release party last night was enough. I had to order a box of tissues for her ass.

yourusername Leave me alone. But also thanks for the tissues 🤧

yourbestiename Me when??? 🥺🥺🥺🥺

urbanwyatt 👀

neelamthadhani Your guys love story is my favorite.

yourusername Mine too 😊💜

allabouttheharlows 🥺 My parents are the cutest ever!!!!!

claybornharlow 🩶

applemusic 🔥 🔥

djdrama You were right, the world wasn’t ready!!!!!!

•

TAG LIST

@heavyhitterheaux @harlowsbby @arination99 @cmalass @jackharloww @minkookie95 @deannaard @jacksmoviestar @harlowcomehome @fdl305 @httpkoylinnn @xoxokiaraaxoxo @hoodharlow @automaticpeachsong @amethyst09 @aliciacat20 @allyson15 @gabbylovesreading @stefansalvatoresgf @violetdreamsworld @carma-fanficaddict @jasminxts @itsaaliyah2 @itsyagirljaz @harrycanyonmoonn @neon-lights-and-glitter @awhore4moree

[foreverrandomwritings]

Season 2 Episode 3: Hold the Line.

THIS IS MY FAVORITE EPISODE BETWEEN BOTH SHOWS!! BUCK, HEN, EDDIE IM SCREAMING, IM CRYING, IM THROWING UP!

Buck being asleep and drooling on the window. 10/10

Buck then staring at Marjan, because he recognizes her not because he’s a creep. Hen and Eddie telling him to stop. TK telling Marjan he’s staring and her looking at him.

Hen:Buck, seriously. Don’t make me report you to HR🙄

Buck is so jealous of Eddie and Hen😂😂😂

Buck: THATS FIREFOX OMG.😱

Hen and Eddie:���🤨

Eddie and Judd bonding over being from Texas🤗🥰

Eddie: Oh no a female Buck👁️👄👁️

Mateo: LA huh?

Buck: Yes

Mateo: I have a cousin Marvin there, we look alike maybe you know him.

Buck: LA is big don’t know him. (But Athena does lol, I love the way they explained this though. Also really want an episode where Marvin and Buck cross paths.)

Buck, TK and Mateo all bullshitting.

Buck: My dick is bigger than yours.

TK: No mine is bigger than yours.

Mateo: I’m just happy to be here.

Eddie follows Marjan.

Mark and two feet away: Really dude? Oh a kid.

Eddie: Doing the whole single dad thing.

Uhm I’m sorry, Buck is Christopher’s other dad so go fuck yourself.

Judd when any animal that isn’t a bull is involved:😬😬

Paul: Keep him talking.

Judd punches said kid in the face. 😵‍💫🥊

Mateo bringing superhero’s into like any conversation he can is adorable and I love him.

Random guy: No one else is risking their lives tonight.

Buck, Eddie, TK, Marjan, Judd, Paul and Mateo: LOL.

Owen hallucinating: 😳

Hen: 🤨

Buck: My captain is not my dad but he is. Let’s go steal a fire truck.

TK: Absofuckinglutely 🫡

Hen: Captain Strand, I think you’re kinda crazy.

Owen: Yes.

TK: We shouldn’t both get fired for this.

Buck: Well my friend is there too and I’m pretty sure she’d do the same for me.

Buck: pauses and contemplates.

Buck: No she totally would???

Buck: I cannot bring back my fire engine all fucked. My dad not dad would kill me.

Buck and TK thinking they are gonna be on their own.

Marjan, Mateo, Judd, Paul and Eddie: You two dumbasses we’re going with you.

Judd and Eddie: GO TEXAS

Eddie: Hey Marjan let’s get a pic together to make Buck jealous. Also please follow Buck on insta.

Mateo: Please look out for my cousin Marvin.

Buck: Lol I will.

Buck unaware of his LGBTQ status: We should grab dinner if you are ever in LA.

TK with his gaydar on: Just so you know I have a boyfriend.

Buck: Wtf do you mean?😅

Hen: What happens in the mineshaft stays in the mineshaft.

Owen: 🫡

[hidden-poet]

HEY BESTIEEEE 🩷 I CAN’T BELIEVE FOR ONCE I AM THIS EARLY 😂

CHAPTER 8 - LETS GOOOO

Of course he doesn’t trust her now 😂 our girl keeps trying to run away!

Coryo being worried about Edmund taking her away is so cute 🥹

I love how she tries to soften him with affection 🩷 he’s so baby boy 😭

Awe I love Tigris! She’s literally the sweetest and so blind to her cousins depraved nature 😂

“You’ll be home soon.” , “We’ll be home soon” - okay daddy 🙄

You lean down and wrap your arms around his shoulders, resting your face against his neck. - GOD HIS NECK PROBABLY SMELLS SO FUCKING GOOD 😫

~

DID HE JUST REFER TO HER AS HIS WIFE? 😳

District women weren’t wives. They were barely considered human. - I mean… he clearly has a thing for District women so 😂

I love it when he tends to her with the cold wet rag 😭

At least he was nice enough to make sure she was clean and comfortable before he cuffed her to the bed 😂

“Just in case, Edmund comes back.” - My insecure boy 🥹

“I left you one hand so you can read. I don’t have to.” - Okay chill daddy chill 🙇‍♀️ I mean I rather you cuff me to the bed for other things 😈

“You’ve had a big day. Try and rest. I’ll be home soon.” - 😑😑😑

Girly should be daydreaming of BLONDE haired babies 😂 HER AND CORYOS BABIES, NOT EDMUNDS (even tho I love Edmund lol)

I love how he’s sorry about waking her and I’m like bro… you literally cuffed her to the bed, who tf can sleep through that? 😂

“I was thinking I hope we have a boy first. Then two girls, then another boy.” - WOAH LETS JUST CHILL FOR A SEC PLEASE 😂 It would be my dying wish to get knocked by you but please take it easy daddy… let’s not rush this and just focus on the one 😂 one at a time boo… one at a time 😭

“What else should I have called you? We sleep together, eat together, wake together. We look after each other. The only thing missing is an official title but as soon as we get back to the Capitol, we’ll fix that.” - Yeah... all by force 😂 And baby boy, please don’t forget about the not fucking eachother yet part too…

God my anxiety was so up during the key sequence like my god when he suddenly came up behind her and caught her by the hair 😳

Girl… a hangover cure? Really? He’s not an idiot 😂 Then again, I would probably say anything too in that moment of fear so… and of course he’s gonna cuff you the bed again lmfao

“If I had listened to you, I would have left the door opened. You spoiled, deceiving, little bitch.” - DAMN DADDY 😳 call me a spoiled, deceiving, little bitch again 😈

Oh shit he’s really mad today! The silent treatment. He didn’t even HOLD her hand as they walked out together 😳

I love how he asks her what her dads hangover cure is and he just slams all the cupboards saying it’s all there 😂

Bro just took all the bacon for himself and threw the rest out and slid over the empty plate… like damn that was so cold 😂

“He’s probably hiding with your mother in what’s left of the forest. Don’t worry. We’ll find him and bring your mother home.” - 😳*nervous laughter* we love a good threat right?! 😳

The ‘good’ comment from the both of them had me on the floor 😂

When she begs him not to throw the boy in jail and he gives her a warning look 😬 well he’s officially back to hitting her again hard to the floor… but now in public… wow he’s really really pissed off isn’t he? 😂 The men not doing anything and backing away from her because they’re so scared of Coryo 😑 He just hits her, then harshly takes her arm and pulls her back in one quick motion 😂 crazy boy 😈

“You embarrassed me. Vongurt already thinks I can’t control my Peacekeepers, now he thinks I can’t control my women as well.” - YOUR WOMEN? 😈

“Look at me when I am talking to you.” - yes, daddy sir 🫡

“Ravinstill is expected to die shortly. This behavior of yours cannot be brought back to the Capitol.” - And what are you gonna do about it? Huh? 😈

“You think a Peacekeeper would get the same punishment as a District? No. You would have been hanged. Yet another reason to be loyal to me. I’ve saved you.” - NAH… NOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER 😑but… gladly 😫

Her begging him and crying to not be mad at her so he’ll be in a good mood for her grand escape plan is the cutest 😂

~

This girl is so smart with the washing machine plan 👏

Aweee he’s so excited to finally talk to Grandma’am and Tigris and introduce his girl to them… my heart 🥹🩷

Love how he pulls her down so she sits on his lap as he’s talking to his family 😫

And I love how sassy Grandma’am is 😂 and especially calling her ‘girl’

“You must be grateful he is sending you back to the Capitol. Don’t ruin it like the last one.” - I’m assuming this is about Lucy Gray 😂

He tugs you back down causing you to fall into him. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Tigris almost cringe. - Does she know about her cousin's depraved nature? 👀

You know. Since she attempted to run away from him a few times now… you would think he wouldn’t even let her go do the laundry alone, especially for five minutes. Baby boy was so stupid here 😭

You smile at him as you pull away. It was too easy, You had won. - Yeah! Too easy 😂 omg I feel so bad that she just left him 😭 he was so excited too… and I keep forgetting that this our captor but I don’t care 🫠

Her reuniting with her mom had me emotional 🥹 that was so beautiful 🩷

You were home. You were safe. - Yeah… sure… 😂

~

Awe the way he tries to convince himself that she didn’t leave him and she just felt sick and went back to the apartment to sleep it off 🥹

Okay let’s be real here. He is obviously going to find her (which I hope to god he does because she belongs to him 😈 like how my pussy soul belongs to him 🫠) 

He will not stop until he finds her and once he does… good luck girly. Good luck to you, good luck to your mom, your brother, Edmund, Edmund’s family… and anyone else up in the mountains… Like I am so terrified for all of them rn because it’s not going to end well. This was definitely her last straw, no sweet talking is going to work on him this time…

Something tells me the next chapter is going to be a little time skip… WE SHALL SEE!

Bestieeee this chapter was so anxiety inducing and I LOVED EVERY BIT OF IT 🩷 I am so freakin’ excited to see what happens in chapter 9 because it’s gonna be CRAZY I just know it!

BESTIE LOOK AT YOU GO!

so glad you liked this chapter 😭😭 thank you for taking the time out to write this!

I love when you call the reader “our girl” because it’s so true! She’s our girl!

I’ll see you in the next chapter, bestie ❤️

[ajstudio]

Abridgecard finds Cocaine Bear.

---------

Alucard is getting the hang of the changes in society after rematerializing back into existence. While paying a visit to the Goodwill store Abridged Alucard finds a unique little gem.

---------

Abridgecard: Why are we here? There's a Michael's on the other side of this place.

Persephone: They are closed due to inventory. While it breaks my heart that one of my favorite stores is closed I would be passing up an opportunity to repurpose some old goodwill rags into some real gems. There's nothing better than getting some good fabric for a steal!

Abridgecard: What about Hobby Lobby? Don't they sell fabrics? Or did they stop while I was gone?

Persephone: Oh, no. They still sell fabrics. I'm just checking here first before I go there since I know I'll be there longer.

Abridgecard: Ah!

Persephone: My cousin's art teacher found this expensive blouse for $5. I found some workout pants from Glein Clein for $6 a pair when they'd be worth $50 if I bought them online. And when I am not looking for clothes to wear I find clothes made of good material I can use to make purses, shirts, and pants. I even made my prom dress out of clothes from the Goodwill store in my area.

Abridgecard: *reacts to some of the items at the store as he makes his way to the section with the VHS, DVDs, Blu-rays, and videogame *Can-can girl teapot, Pig Cleaning Lady Cookie Jar, The Muppets plush dolls, Pacman arcade game, pictures, Sophia (Golden Girls) Bust Bank, a hippo Bhuda statue doing yoga, grinning mugs, and a duck wearing a pope hat*

Abridgecard: Oh, Vampire Knight. Of course, they would be in a Goodwill store because no one wants to keep those books any more than their Twilight novels. OH, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT! It's Twilight! Let's see. We have one. Two. Three copies of Twilight. Four Eclipses. Two Breaking Dawns. And one New Moon. Any me novels? Hey, it's the untitled goose game for the Switch. *Turns around to find a Pacman arcade game* Oh, that's so cool- Aw, it's not working!

Old Lady: The Pacman Game? I wanted it for my laundry mat to entertain my customers but the people that work here say it's not working.

Abridgecard: Wait! Wait! Wait a minute! Why donate it if it's not working?

Old Lady: Decoration, maybe? Someone might want it for their man cave. Or gamer cave. I don't know what gamers call their gaming room these days.

Abridgecard: Huh? What's this? *looks at the case and reads the title* Cocaine Bear? *snickers* Are you fucking real!? Is it about a bear doing drugs? *reads the back* 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Oh, fuck! This shit sounds hilarious! Oh, shit! I left my wallet at home! *spots Persephone at the checkout counter*

Goodwill Employee: Would you like to make a donation to St. Jude's Children's Hospital?

Persephone: Yes, please.

Goodwill Employee: Oh, you have three DVDs. Is there another one you'd like? It's buy three get one free.

Abridgecard: *slaps the DVD on the counter* I will have this one!

Persephone: 🤭😂😂🤭 (He timed that perfectly.)

Abridgecard: Please do this for me. I left my wallet at home.

Persephone: What did you pick? *looks at the cover* Oh, my goodness!

Abridgecard: *bends over to whisper in her ear* We are watching this tonight.

Persephone: Did you check to see if the disc is *opens the case* Oh! The disc is inside case.

Abridgecard: Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be?

Persephone: Sometimes people will donate the case without double-checking if the disc is inside. I learned this the hard way with a Celine Dion album that was missing the CD.

Goodwill Employer: That happens a lot here.

Persephone: Or the case might have the wrong item inside. I bought a copy of a game my friend lost only to find out last minute the case contained a completely different disc inside.

Abridgecard: What was the game?

Persephone: I wanted to get Warriors Orochi for the PS2 for my cousin. But the case contained a Dora game for the Wii.

Abridgecard and Goodwill Employer: Ooooooo!

Goodwill Employer: It wasn't even for the right console!

Abridgecard: You know what. I think some kid might swapped the game out of the case with his sister's and taken off with it.

Goodwill Employer: Oh, that's probably what happened.

Abridgecard: Also, why don't you just double-check the cases before putting them on the shelves?

Goodwill Employer: I don't know, but I guess I could make a habit of it starting now. I'll check once someone takes over my shift.

Abridgecard : Hey, here's an idea. Why don't you just take all the mismatched games and movies, hand them out on April Fools Day, and tell everyone there're mystery boxes?

Persephone: Or you could just sell the cases themselves and sell the games and DVDs separately? But what you could put them in if they don't have a case?

Old Lady: Would you hurry it up? I've been waiting here for fifteen minutes already!

Persephone: Oh, I'm sorry! I'll be done right this instant. *hands over Cocaine Bear to the Goodwill Man* I'll be taking this.

Abridgecard: I also want this. *sets down the pope duck*

Persephone: Oh, it's cute! Did you name him yet? *hands the duck to the cashier and then realizes Alucard could've just warped back home to get his wallet*

As Alucard and Persephone leave the checkout counter, Alucard notices an old woman handing the cashier a DVD called The Diary of an Angry Black Woman with an old black African woman on the cover.

Abridgecard: The Diary of an Angry Black Woman? I wonder who passed off the old lady.

Persephone: Oh, did you see another movie you wanted to watch?

Abridgecard: Nah! Just looking at the stuff the old laundry mat lady bought.

Persephone: You know, I've seen that movie, the sequels, and the plays.

Abridgecard: Really?

Persephone: Oh, yes. My friends and I used to watch them. The first two movies were a big part of our teenage years. They were hilarious, but the scriptwriter Tyler Perry, who also plays Madea the old black woman on the cover, isn't afraid to tackle the touchy issues that an older generation would just try to swipe under the rug.

Abridgecard: Oh!

Persephone: To best describe Madea in a way you would understand, Alucard, if I had to pick a spirit animal for you Madea would be the perfect choice.

Abridgecard: Oh, now I need to see this movie! *pulls out Cocaine Bear* Right after we watch this!

Persephone: Well, the good thing is I already own most of the DVDs. My favorites are Boo 1 & 2, the Christmas Specials, and Madea Goes to Jail.

Abridgecard: Well, I guess it was bound to happen.

Persephone: I just want to give you a heads-up about the Madea movies. Despite what the trailers and covers may imply, the movies also focus on a family member of Madea's or someone she'll meet later on and the challenges they face. Madea can be a bit of a troublemaker and probably should have been locked up a long time ago. But just like a good family elder, she offers guidance when they need it. She's kinda like you.

Abridgecard: Are you saying I should be in jail?

Persephone: I wasn't trying to imply that. But realistically, the inmates wouldn't be safe with you. You would probably be put in solitary confinement.

Abridgecard: That's not nice.

Persephone: I'd come visit you.

Abridgecard: But would you break me out?

Persephone: No.

Abridgecard: Ow!

Persephone: But I could afford it I'd bail you out and I'd visit you until I could.

Abridgecard: And with that, you're forgiven.

Persephone and Alucard spent two hours indulging in their leisure activities. Persephone spent her time examining fabrics and restocking her art supplies, while Alucard followed her around with two garden gnomes. They then had a double movie night where they watched Cocaine Bear and Madea Goes to Jail. While watching the movies, Alucard was reminded of his past experiences of hijacking lifting cranes while performing his crazy antics.

[satanstruemistress]

Thoughts I had while Royal Rampage was on (instead of spamming the tag):

A client asked me if Claudio is Goldberg. I was like madam. How dare you.

Orange’s face at Brody is valid

Matt Menard is the loudest human being in existence and I love him.

DAMN RIGHT RODDY’S ONE OF THE GREATS TONY. SAY IT AGAIN AND SAY IT LOUDER

Oh hi Kip, long time no see.

Brandon go away please 💀 Oh, okay cool 😂

Nick Wayne reminds me of my cousin Ethan and idk what it is

Awe bye Matty Magic. (I’m not calling him daddy anything)

KYLE MY BELOVED

Delighted that Matt just sits back down at the desk. Oh he’s remaining shirtless

TAVEN MY BELOVED

Lethal has zero reason for his ass to be that size. Love that for him

BYE TWINK.

Lucha, just eat Christian. Please.

I love watching the AEW crew on the outside on the floor. Always like “fuck, you don’t see me here”

Lio do be rushin’, Jesus.

I thought Brody was gonna yeet Darby over the top rope back into the ring

Mortos’s skull knee pads are sick

I swear if OC also injured himself irl I’m gonna irl fight someone

Bye Roddy :( It’s okay bitches still love you (it’s me. I’m bitches)

HANGMAAAAAAAAN. Looks extra good recently 😍

Brian Cage is more puppy dog cute than he should be

*yeets Darby 100 miles*

Huh…well

I’m just completely indifferent on Darby Allin lol

[lady-of-imladris]

🌻 If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your mentions, anonymous or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog 🌻

OH GOD today you guys are really testing me with knowing things about myself huh 😂😂 <3

1. I bought new annotation supplies for my book, but I am still looking for better options

2. I'm making a crochet turtle memory for my cousin's kid, 0.5/20 turtles done

3. I fucking love raccoons

[targwh0re]

Thoughts on Teen Wolf the Movie while watching it pt.2

And the flashbacks hurt

Speaking of flashbacks, Derek punched through half a stone pillar in one go during season 2 so Scott wtf my guy. Ur a True Alpha, I thought that meant u were supposed to be better than everyone else "I'm stronger, I'm faster, I'm better" (think that's from the boys lol)

awww reunion 👏

Yeah I'm with Lydia, I wouldn't be too keen on looking at the sword that murdered my bestie either

why you not want Melissa to know ur here. Boy if you don't bring ur mom some dinner, she works very hard

Ofc it's a muscle girl it's ur damn vocal cords

Lmao Jackson is me. That pizza looks good, also I wish he had stayed for more season, I'm a firm believer that he was really supposed to be Peter's son and Malia is just made up of what his and Cora's storyline would've been had the actors stayed

Should've brought Ethan with you

Okay so wtf is going on w/ Jackson? is he werewolf or kanima bc all we see him use are kanima stuff now but at the end of season 2 he was full werewolf. Also like didn't they explain in like season 5 that it's supposed to be impossible to be two things and that's why the chimera's were such a big deal? Smh, really wish Colton had stuck around so this was explained but I respect his decision to leave

"Well it looks like a tree" Def would've been him in season 3

Wish they had just rebuilt the Hale house

"it was coming loose anyways" lies 😂😂

he broke alot of laws 😬

boy really just said "well I'll just change my name" like by doing that it'll alter his DNA 😭

Poor kid is so insecure about being a werewolf, maybe he's scared he'll be a failwolf like Scott. Nah but in all honesty the Hale's were like wolf royalty so that would be a lot of pressure to live up to. Plus I wouldn't love losing control of myself and being hunted down

Malia making me think of Dany "take off your clothes"

Derek trying so hard. You're doing great sweetie 👍

Love how Parrish just has a uniform already prepared

Also feel like if Malia had to have a love interest it should've been a woman

When ur fuck buddy decides he wants a relationship 😬

Why she so weirded out by relationship when they already act like a couple...

No explanation for Scolia break up. One is an incident, two is a coincidence, three's a pattern. are we gonna get enough for a warrent, what's after four?😭😂

"I missed you" "I missed you too" "No you didn't" "Okay, I wanted to" Believe it or not that's progress😂 Malia you know for a fact that you have developed better emotional skills, you've been human for like 14 years now and Lydia was one of ur best friends

"It's kind of awkward to see you" Should've been Kira telling Scott that. Or Allison could've said that to Kira, would've been and interesting love triangle if Scott and Kira were still together. Who would y'all have wanted to end up together had that happend in the movie, Scallion or Skira?

Don't y'all remember how impossible that thing is to find? Like y'all legit had to sacrifice yourselves last time to find it

How did Nogi get in Chris? We've got enough for a warrent people, Jeff we're coming for you jkjk

So it was that simple to get it out...why didn't we do that the first time? Ooo could've made it like that time when all the werewolves got possessed and tried to kill eachother bc of all the flies, but this time Chris does and its not the Nogitsune (well it is but u know what I mean)

Ur not even gonna try and catch Nogi...okay then

Malia you couldn't pick up on ur cousin's scent? Speaking of, Derek you didn't here your son jump out that window?

"you got got big" yea that's what happens to kids when a shit ton of years pass Scott 🤦‍♀️

So sleepwalking is just a sign of upcoming transformation? Huh, I just always thought Peter was controlling Scott some how, but cool I want to know more about the born wolves! We should all petition Paramount + to make a Hale prequel

The screamer😳 that sounds like a bad porn name

Malia acting like she found it😂

Eli's so slow to take the hint, he's so adorable and so much like me

Them saying don't tell Derek bc it's personal like um nah it's cause he'd say it's a bad idea

I feel like a blood sacrifice should've been made to wake up the nemeton again bc it goes dormant after a few years when nothing happens to it as we've seen countless times before, also this is necromancy so it should be a darker ritual. Like the ground where she died & the weapon that killed her is great but there should've been more steps & it should've been more complicated. If there's anything I've learned from the numerous fantasy shows I've watched is that magic like that always comes with a price

Cool ritual overall though, love how they almost got sucked into the nemeton

All this magic making Malia hungry, me too grl me too

I also love how it wasn't automatic, it took a few seconds. Maybe it would've been better though if she didn't come back to after they actually left and so Harris finds her without her memories and manipulates her by lying to her. Meanwhile the pack is grieving again and questioning why it didn't work

Also I forgot to say this, when Mr. Harris popped up in Liam & Hikari's restaurant I immediately thought "Ariana what are you doing here?😂"

Love how Allison came out looking 30, with her hair having grown out, and her makeup and nails done. Sis was really at the spa, not Bardo 💅 why y'all interrupted her, she was on a much needed spa retreat bc dying is so stressful

Also why didn't we just use this ritual to bring other people back?

Is she alive though, or is she still in just a state between life and death,, what if now her physical body us here but part of her subconscious is still over there? *gasp* then maybe we can talk to other ghosts through her if she gives up control of her body sometimes. Omg that would be a coll concept for another movie, someone taking over her subconscious

Now Malia's bout to pop a wheelie, seems like she still sucks at driving

Hey mama McCall's a doctor now!

Seems like she wasn't very suprised at some of the gang being back in town

I feel like the glow from the nemeton should've been just a black mist to represent the Nogitsune instead of the just green that kinda reminded me of the ghost riders; also I thought he needed a host?

should've made Allison his host so that they'd have a harder time killing him bc of the emotional damage

Imma add to the plot I made up earlier🤪 Allison comes back after Scott, lydia, and Malia leave and Mr.Harris gets her and manipulates her right, right, well then he gets the Nogitsune to possess her but she doesn't know it. Sometimes she's her, and sometimes she's not, but regardless she doesn't have all of her memories

Pt. 2 - 5

[anthrofreshtodeath]

32 or 37 maybe? I dont know about you but I could use happy Rizzles

(32) Under a cut because it's a little naughty. 1) Playoff football is fun 2) Jane and Maura would totally be that obnoxious couple to subject all their loved ones to their lovey dovey nonsense, given that they subject them to all their platonic nonsense in the show 😂

Jane looks over at the bouquet of flowers in her passenger seat, along with the chips, bakery box, and case of beer on the floor in front, and wrings her steering wheel. It’s cold - not snowing, but cold enough for her teeth to chatter while she waits for the car to warm up.

Her heart is pounding, too, but that’s not because of the temperature. The flowers remind her - Friday had marked the sixth month of a torrid romance between her and Maura, begun right in the middle of summer when Jane’s AC had broken and Maura came over to help fix it and they instead spent the entire afternoon fucking the sheets off the bed in Jane’s oppressively hot room. 

Maura’s place, not hers, is actually where she’s headed now, where she’d been all morning before realizing that about five more people than they originally thought would be coming over for championship weekend. So, instead of distracting Maura in the kitchen while she tried to ready food for the Rizzolis and their football loving friends, Jane decided to make herself useful and go for more alcohol. 

When Jane pulls up to the home, finding a parking spot just a few feet away, it hits her again. Thoughts of legs tangled and wet kisses and Maura’s feigned annoyance at the fairly large mark Jane had put on her neck in the heat of the moment, contrast with the fact that Maura is currently hosting all the people Jane loves the most to watch a sport Maura disdains from both a medical and moral perspective. The domesticity and the raunchy memories swirl together and distill into something potent enough to make jelly of Jane’s insides. There is a slithering coil of heat in her belly when she balances all her purchases on her way to the door, and rings the bell because she can’t reach her key. 

Frankie opens up, and his eyes dance when he sees the beer. “You got the good stuff, Janie!” he exclaims, grabbing her face and kissing the side of her head. “Lemme get that; I’ll put it in the cooler.”

Jane smirks. “How mad you think Maura is that we got a cooler full of beer on her nice antique floors, huh?”

“I dunno, I haven’t had the heart to ask her,” Frankie jokes back, their voices quiet and conspiratorial. “Flowers should help, though.”

“That was my thinking, yes,” Jane snarks. She closes the door behind her, considerably less burdened now that her brother has taken the beer over by the dining table and is unloading it into the cooler. 

Frost, Tommy, Vince, Angela, cousin Danny from their pop’s side, Susie and a few more crime techs, and three of Frankie’s best friends from high school huddle together around the TV, the Cowboys and Vikings just beginning their battle for the NFC crown. Maura, however, bustles around the kitchen island, wiping down surfaces and checking the oven window. When she pops her head back up and sees Jane, she smiles.

“Are those for me?” she asks, when Jane crosses over the wood flooring to the tile and holds the bouquet out.

“The tart, too,” Jane answers. They’re both in dark jeans, but somehow Jane’s feel plain while Maura’s look painted on, inviting, the perfect sexy complement to the gray cashmere v-neck sweater she wears. Jane gulps when she sees it, frowns like she’s in pain when the shine of the diamond pendant over Maura’s sternum brings Jane’s eyes up to that burgundy splotch over her carotid - not necessarily like Maura’s proud of it, but definitely like she doesn’t care who sees it. Jane sniffs loudly. “I figured you shouldn’t be subjected to all our cussin’ and hydrogenated oils without a reward,” she approaches, and before she can let Maura reply, she kisses her lips softly, soundly, and full of pressurized want. 

Maura whimpers into that kiss just as Jane’s hands slide around her back, thumbs swiping under her sweater on heater-warmed skin. Jane plays in the dimples there, just above Maura’s hips, and shifts to kissing along Maura’s jaw. “Speaking of, I’m shocked your mother let me convince her to try an oven-baked wings recipe,” says Maura.

“Mmhmm,” Jane hums distractedly into Maura’s hairline, nips just behind her bite from the night before. 

Maura shivers. “And thank you, by the way, for the artisan treat,” she says, testing a theory. “I appreciate your thoughtfulness.”

“Mmm,” Jane half-acknowledges, just before she presses her lips against Maura’s again. She is lost. Completely and utterly floundering in the feeling. Maura assumed as much.

She wraps her arms around Jane’s shoulders because she knows it only intensifies things, the way Jane likes to be held both like she’s taller and stronger and like Maura will take care of her. 

They’ve struck quite the balance in these last six months.

And even though Maura does not care if the others can see their little makeout session over here, she still whispers her next statement when Jane gives her enough room to breathe. “I know what you’re thinking about,” she says, just loud enough for Jane to hear the singsong in it.

Jane pulls back just enough to curl one eyebrow. “Oh, do you?” She taunts, as quietly as Maura had. 

“I do,” Maura tells her, fingers splaying against her cheek. Thumb rubbing the corner of her wet mouth. Jane takes that thumb between her teeth, eyes closed, right as her brothers shriek at an intercepted pass from Dak Prescott. “And it’s thinking about you, too.”

Jane’s eyes fly back open. She drops Maura’s appendage and stares right at her. “It is?”

Maura takes the time to pull Jane close, to keep one arm around Jane’s shoulders and thread the other under one of Jane’s like they’re dancing, burying her nose in the scent of Jane’s hair and sighing there. “It is. And it’s wet for you. But you’re going to have to wait for two whole football games before you find out just how much.” She seals it all with a kiss on a sharp cheekbone.

Jane stands, immobile, hard - straight up and down with Maura in her arms. Everyone carries on like they didn’t just fucking hear that. Which, now that she thinks about it, they probably didn’t and she’s glad. “I love you. So fucking much. But that is the meanest thing anyone has ever done to me,” she whines.

Maura just shrugs and breaks up their entanglement to pull the wings out of the oven with a smile.

[bitchlessdino]

helloooo... how are youuuu?? hope you're well!! I feel like it's been a minute since I sent smtg here.

I'll give you little TMI on my day today coz I think it's worth sharing ahahaha. My cousin's acquaintance (not his friend) proposed to me today and ofc I rejected coz he's just not my type (not visually but personality wise). But wait, it gets anmoying. He mentioned smtg bout us having a connection when we were chatting. So I proceed to tell him that he mistook my friendliness as flirting. And he was like no you always laugh at my jokes and I was like yes when someone tells a joke you either laugh coz its funny or coz you want to be nice.. Atp he started going a little overboard saying that I'm being really rude and mind you I was still communicating patiently with him and his friends that were there started telling him to stop talking that way coz I was getting angry. In my mind, I was like okayy you want rude, I'll give you rude and dead on just said smtg like "First of all, you proposed to me and I have the right to reject that and you should not forced me to be in a relationship with you. Especially when you're being so pushy. Also do you wanna tell me how you got my number in the first place?" I kid you not the this guy got mad coz I talked to him that way saying that I was childish. CHILDISH??? His friends just dragged him away and they apologized to me later on his behalf saying they dk why he reacted that way. I just thanked them for dragging him away from me and said I have no ill feelings towards them. As for him, I want nothing to do with him. What a day huh😪😂😂

How was your day thouu??

Babe omggg. I’m so sorry that is awful and I hope he rots??? Thank god his friends were around but fuck that sounds not only frustrating but scary. Fr I hope gets a clue and leaves you the fuck alone bc you are valid in every way possible. Laughing at jokes is in no way indicating reciprocation. Some cases they have been but you said No. it should’ve stopped at that. I’m glad that you stood up for yourself I’m so proud of you. What an eventful day.

On my end, my day has barely started but I’m gonna go grocery shopping w my person 💗 hoping the rest of day starts off just as great. Thank you for sharing your day w me. I hope the remainder of your day is way better than that.

[never-not-ever]

I should NOT have dyed my hair 😞. It’s not even the color I’m worried about. I think the color will be fine but my hair is falling out so badly again and I know coloring it makes that worse and when I was rinsing out the dye I think I lost another 20-30 strands I’m not even exaggerating… ughh it better be a good color cause that will be the LAST time for a while!

I don’t know what is happening with us 😅. Ughhhh so it started as hugging. She has a long day at work or is stressed about her dad being sick and asks for a hug and it feels good. God it feels so good to just hug her and hold her. Then there was two separate instances of a quick kiss in the past week… Yesterday I dropped her at work and as she went to leave the car she almost turned to kiss me goodbye but stopped and we both laughed and she said how that was weirdly awkward 😂😂

This morning she gave me a hug goodbye as I was sleeping and she said “we really messed everything up huh?” And I swear she was emotional as she said it. I was sleeping so it was hard to tell.

Ugh. Ugh. Ughhhhhhhhhh. I know she told her family like siblings and parents. I didn’t know she reached out and told cousins she/we were close to. She told me that the other day. And I think telling more than just her siblings makes it awkward if we were to do the unthinkable. We keep saying “what are we doing” and laughing as we say it. Like I honestly don’t know what we’re doing. What the fuck are we doing.

My therapist is going to be pissed though. She’s not a big fan of my ex. She is very validating that we’ve been together a long time, there’s a lot of emotions and feeling and yes we care about each other but our relationship was also toxic as fuck and we are both to blame but obviously my therapist is going to harp on her faults and I know at times it’s been considered passively abusive…,

At least my body image and eating is better 🙃. And really that was a much bigger issue lately than my relationship. Whatever. I should probably get my diary card done now before we go out later. Last week I ended up sending it out after midnight. Whoops.