#Musetta Vander imagine

[ravenya003]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Teacher's Pet, S01E04

It’s our first Xander-centric episode and... it’s not great.

The episode starts off with what is clearly Xander’s daydream, evidenced by the fact that Buffy is suddenly helpless in the face of an aggressive vampire. Xander saves her and then leaps up on the stage to finish his guitar solo. I guess the nicest thing I can say is... it could have been worse?

Back in reality, the Scoobies are in biology class and Dr Gregory (who we glimpsed briefly in the previous episode) targets Buffy for an on-the-spot question about how ants communicate. Willow does her best to give her the answer from behind his back, but Buffy has a ditzy moment and says “B.O.” instead of “smell.” C’mon Buffy, that was an easy one!

The writers have an extremely limited window of opportunity to make us feel sad about Dr Gregory’s imminent death, and for my money, do a pretty good job when he approaches Buffy after class and gives her unexpected words of encouragement instead of the expected scolding. It culminates with him saying: “let’s make them eat that permanent record.” Aww.

So when he inevitably gets dragged off by a giant tentacle two seconds later, it’s a bummer.

The whole thing also sets up the moral of the episode: do your homework. This is quickly followed by its central theme: the sexual prowess of teenage boys (or rather, their anxiety over the lack of it). Xander is at the Bronze, trying and failing to look cool, and overhearing fellow student Blayne bragging about his conquests in such a way that makes it clear he’s never had any.

(Most of the season one episodes are heavy-handed metaphors for teenage dramas, but this one’s even heavier than usual).

Xander’s masculinity is in trouble, so he takes advantage of Buffy and Willow’s arrival to put his arms around them – Willow is all for this, but Buffy is distracted by the arrival of Angel.

And hey! This is the first time Xander and Willow see him! I’d forgotten all about this scene. There’s no interaction between them so far, but Xander definitely clocks him as a handsome threat, especially when he gives his jacket to Buffy on noticing that she’s cold.

Though that might just be a ploy to get her to notice the wound on his arm, and he warns her about a vampire she nicknames “Fork Guy.”

The following day, a new teacher arrives to take Dr Gregory’s place. As befits her attractiveness, she walks up in slow motion while sexy music plays, and both Xander and Blayne are rendered helpless.

This episode very much frames Blayne as a male Cordelia (jock instead of a cheerleader, but with the same undercutting, dismissive attitude toward the Scoobies) and specifically a foil to Xander as Cordelia is to Buffy. It’s a shame we don’t see him again after this, though I like to imagine he made it to Graduation Day and fought in the battle there.

Natalie French is played by the very beautiful Musetta Vander, and glancing over her IMDB she’s still working – though during the late nineties/early noughties she was in a lot of genre stuff: Xena Warrior Princess, Babylon 5, Highlander, Star Trek, Star Gate...

Her first lesson to the class is some straight-up exposition about how the praying mantis lays eggs (way to give your secret away!) though I find it interesting that she argues the insect (and by extension, her) is not evil – just acting according to nature’s design. As far as I recall, this particular Monster of the Week isn’t technically a demon... just a big bug.

In the cafeteria, the Scoobies are handed lunch trays by someone off-screen – I only mention this because... do you think this is the lunch-lady who goes nuts in “Earshot” and tries to poison everyone?

Cordelia marches into the kitchen to make a special dietary lunch for herself and opens the fridge to reveal Dr Gregory’s headless corpse. Charisma Carpenter does a good job with Cordelia’s hysteria in this moment, though I have to wonder why the She-Mantis kept Gregory’s body on-campus. It doesn’t fit the MO of her other three victims, who she lures to the privacy of her house. And wouldn't she want to lay her eggs in a safe place?

I suppose she simply doesn’t think anyone would believe a giant insect is on the loose and that she’s entirely above suspicion (which I suppose would also explain her casualness in giving the class a lecture on praying mantises).

Regrouping in the library, the Scoobies discuss the murder. Buffy has tears on her cheeks and Giles says that he liked Dr Gregory too. Aww. Also, it intrigues me that Giles probably does have to interact with the Sunnydale High facility on a regular basis – little chats in the staffroom and so on. That’s a glimpse of his life (and his relationships with other adults) that we never get to see.

Detective Buffy points out Gregory was wearing the same clothes – specifically his lab coat – from the last time she saw him, which suggests he was killed at school. Skipping ahead, she's also observant enough to notice that Miss French was carrying groceries when she sees her outside Weatherly Park, suggesting that she lives nearby.

The gang floats the possibility that this death has something to do with the enigmatic warning Angel delivered about “Fork Guy” the other night – are they connected? (They’re not, but I like it when characters are wrong about things in logical ways).

Giles has heard of a vampire such as the one Angel described, stating that he works for the Master and cut off his hand in penance for displeasing him. The gang are smart enough to realize that what happened to Gregory doesn’t really fit this MO... so could it be there are two monsters out there? (Yes).

Their only lead is that a drunk was killed the other night in Weatherly Park, so naturally Buffy goes to investigate despite Giles ordering her not to. Which is a little weird come to think of it. Isn’t it her job to investigate these types of things? But still very telling that she went of her own accord.

She bumps into a drunk who tells her to go home (it’s kind of unclear, but I think this is actually an undercover cop) who is swiftly followed by a pretty big vampire with a claw in place of a hand. Buffy tussles with him for a bit, only for him to scarper when – holy shit, the police arrive! This is one of... I dunno, four times the police force appear in the entire series?

It makes sense the writers chose to keep them on the periphery (I have an explanation for this, but it’ll keep) so it always comes as a shock whenever you see them actually doing their job.

The Claw makes a run for it with Buffy in pursuit, only for her to witness a strange scene: the vampire is spooked by a woman walking home with her groceries, and when she turns around – it’s Miss French.

Giles is cross that Buffy disobeyed him, then interested when she tells the story of a big scary vampire being driven off by the mere presence of a substitute biology teacher. I love that Giles immediately believes her story without question (Merlin still leaves its scars) and promises to research more.

We get something of a filler scene, in which Principal Flutie waylays Buffy on her way to class and forcibly escorts her to the crisis councillor’s office. Cordelia is already inside, getting her second scene of the episode in which she tries to argue that at least Dr Gregory’s death has been good for her diet. Buffy’s face is priceless:

Late to class, Buffy looks through the window in the door and sees Miss French perform a “full Exorcist twist” of her head in order to look behind her. Willow is computer hacking and informs them that Blayne has been missing since the previous night. Did his parents call the cops? Probably not, since parents – like the police – barely exist in this show.

We get a real clunker of a line in which Willow asks Buffy: “what are you going to do?” and she dramatically announces: “my homework.” Look, it’s early days. Moral anvils are going to be dropped.

Conveniently, Xander is not here to share in all this important research and moralizing about how homework helps you learn stuff, and accepts Miss French’s invitation to her house that night.

We get another kinda-filler scene in which Miss French prepares a sandwich full of bugs for herself, and it’s worth noting because it’s very cute the way the close-up on her hands demonstrates that the actress hated touching those bugs. She does it so quickly and yet so carefully, with as little physical contact as possible.

Buffy has done her homework and reached her conclusion: Miss French is a praying mantis. All the evidence puts to it – the headless corpse, the rotating head, the fear she instilled in the Claw... and of course, her fashion sense.

Her conclusion inspires Giles to make a call to a contact called Carlyle Ferris who specialized in fairy tales and bugs (before he went mad) while Buffy rushes to warn Xander.

It does not go well. Granted, her insistence that a woman he’s being somewhat chemically induced by is actually “a big old bug” isn’t the most convincing argument in the world, but it soon veers into Xander’s personal insecurity and jealousy when he brings up Angel. Dude. Come on.

I obviously don’t have a problem with characters having flaws (the showrunners of the live-action Avatar the Last Airbender have recently stated they’re toning down Sokka’s chauvinism, which is eye-rolling since one of the central tenants of that character is he grows OUT of it) but in this case it’s difficult to separate “accurate depiction of teenage boy” from “still not cool behaviour though” from “how cognizant is Joss Whedon to the fact that this level of entitlement IS bad behaviour?” from “he nearly gets eaten a few scenes later, so clearly we’re meant to be on Buffy’s side here.”

It's an entanglement of authorial intent and dated nineties concepts and Watsonian/Doylist interpretations of the material – so let’s just go with: Xander is wrong to let his insecurities about women guide his behaviour in this instance, and his arc will eventually culminate in a really lovely scene with Dawn in season seven in which he admits that being the one without superpowers is tough but he sticks around anyway because he loves his friends.

This scene is his first step on the way to that self-actualization.

Xander reaches Natalie French’s house, who opens the door in a suggestive dress and offers him a martini. It does not cross his mind that there’s anything wrong with this, though he starts to get a clue when he overhears Blayne yelling for help from the basement.

Giles is having a hilarious one-sided conversation with Carlyle Ferris on the phone, assuring him that he was right about everything “except for your mother coming back as a Pekinese.” It’s a tragedy that we never meet this character in-person.

In any case, Giles fills them in: that there is precedence to the existence of a giant She-Mantis, who he explicitly compares to creatures like the Greek sirens and the Celtic sea-maidens – I like it when the wider reaches of human mythologies are integrated into the world-building. (Also, maybe this was the show’s nod to the succubus, a creature mentioned in the pilot episode and then never actually seen in the show itself).

Buffy orders some recordings of bat sonar from the “video library” (that was a thing that existed in the nineties) and they all head for Natalie French’s house. Turns out that the inhabitant is a little old lady and retired teacher in her nineties whose identity the She-Mantis has stolen.

She’s a very funny character, who takes the opportunity to overshare details of her life with the three complete strangers on her doorstep – though I like the implication that some residents of Sunnydale manage to have a perfectly nice little life while living atop the Hellmouth. This Miss French has probably had a few brushes with the weird and supernatural during her time, but clearly made it to retirement age intact.

In another of this episode’s most grating scenes, Willow suggests they start knocking on doors, only for Buffy to insist that they don’t have time. But what they DO have time for is Buffy to leap into the sewers, find the Claw, and walk him like a dog around the neighbourhood until he reacts badly to one of the houses, thereby demonstrating that the She-Mantis is inside. Suuuure.

(I’m guessing that this early on, and after the vampire-free episode “Witch”, the writers’ room decided they just really needed to shoehorn a vampire into the mix somehow).

Xander wakes up in a cage in the She-Mantis’s cellar, only to find a panic-stricken Blayne jabbering about what the creature is about to do to them. It involves eggs, “throbbing,” rape and beheading.

However, in a classic Xander move, he’s managed to force out one of the bars in the cage and plays along with the She-Mantis beckoning to him... before whacking her with his makeshift weapon and making a run for it. He doesn’t get far, and the worst is about to happen when Buffy bursts through the window.

She starts with insect spray and then the recording of the bat sonar. In another clunker, she feels the need to spell it out: “Bat sonar makes your whole nervous system go to hell.” Yes, I’m sure that the She-Mantis writhing in pain is AWARE of this fact, Buffy.

The monster is finished off with a machete, and the boys are saved. In a nice moment, Blayne genuinely thanks Buffy for the save, and then disappears into the darkness of one-shot characters.

Motor-mouth Willow feels the need to point out that the She-Mantis only targeted virgins, and I get the feeling this isn’t an innocent slip of the tongue, but something that Willow wanted to make sure that Buffy knew. She can be a sly one, sometimes.

With Buffy’s machete, Xander takes out the rest of the Mantis eggs.

Much like Cordelia, Angel only gets two scenes this episode, but Buffy confirms the death of the Claw (she staked him with a picket fence) and gives a quiet “oh boy” as he walks away. Yeah, she’s in trouble.

The following day, we meet Dr Gregory’s less-inspiring replacement, but Buffy gets a nice little moment to honour the teacher who believed in her (and whose “do your homework” reminder saved the day) by gently putting his glasses back in his lab coat hanging in the cupboard.

We then pan down to a remaining clutch of eggs concealed at the back of the cupboard – one of which is already hatching. But don’t worry, we never see or hear about this ever again. For such a continuity-heavy show, it’s a bit weird.

This episode stands out because the monster is so different from practically every other villain in the show’s seven-year run. The She-Mantis has more in common with the more sci-fi tinged elements of the show (the internet demon, the resurrected Frankenstein-like jock, the fish boys, the various evil robots) than the old school vampires, demons, witches and werewolves, but it still feels more like something out of a cheesy black-and-white serial called “Attack of the Giant Insects” or something. Nothing like the She-Mantis ever comes up again – something that’s not demonic in nature, nor attracted to the magic of the Hellmouth, but just a creature acting according to its own nature.

It's not unwatchable, but it’s safe to say that this episode is the weakest of season one – and for that reason, not one that gets referenced very often (if at all) in future episodes.

Miscellaneous Observation:

The lore surrounding the She-Mantis suggests that Dr Gregory... was also a virgin? I mean, it’s not out of the question, especially if he was asexual or something. But there was an easy alternative to this odd implication, and that’s having the She-Mantis kill him in order to take his place as a substitute teacher (which she needed to get into closer proximity with the actual virgins).

That said, this would have denied Buffy some of the necessary clues she needed to identify Miss French for who she really was (namely, the lack of a head on Dr Gregory’s corpse).

So, did everyone learn that the moral of this story was to do your homework? It was pretty vague, I’m not sure they mentioned it enough times.

The episode does much better with the metaphor of predatory adults around minors, and the show was rather ahead of its time in demonstrating that a woman making sexual advances on teenage boys is just as dodgy as visa-versa.

Xander’s middle name is established as Lavelle, something that I’m pretty sure is never mentioned again.

Giles mentioned that the Claw cut off his own hand after displeasing the Master – I kind of want to know the story behind that. Of course, knowing the Master, it was probably something frivolous. He talked out of turn or something.

Giles calls what Buffy did at Weatherly Park “hunting” instead of “patrolling.” Heh. 

For a guy constantly worrying about his masculinity, Xander is man enough to tell Buffy to her face that she was right and he was wrong. Too many dudes don’t realize that this sort of thing is what REALLY makes you a man.

The writers clearly still haven’t figured out Angel’s deal, and so play it safe by having him appear, spout some cryptic warnings, and then disappear again. The chemistry between him and Buffy is stirring up though...

Best Line: Buffy: “She could be anywhere!” Miss French: “No dear, I’m right here.” I don’t know why it’s funny, but it is.

Best Subversion: Dr Gregory is nice and supportive, instead of a big meanie. Then he dies.

Minor Character I’d Most Like to See In-Person: Carlyle Ferris. He sounded hilarious!

Death Toll: Dr Gregory. The drunk at Weatherly Park. One off-screen individual that Blayne saw getting killed by the She-Mantis, so I won’t count it. The Claw. The She-Mantis.

Grand Total: Six civilians, seven villains.

[adamwatchesmovies]

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

If somebody told me they liked 1995's Mortal Kombat, or even that they’d consider it the best video game turned movie, I’d understand. I don't consider it "good" but the film has charm and, for what it’s worth, captures the spirit of the game. The 1997 sequel Mortal Kombat: Annihilation is another story. Mind-bendingly, inhumanely bad, it's also shockingly dull.

As previewed at the end of the first film, the evil Shao Kahn (Brian Thompson) has set his sights on Earth, despite his defeat at the hands of Princess Kitana (Talisa Soto), Liu Kang (Robin Shou), Johnny Cage and Raiden (James Remar). After resurrecting Kitana’s long-deceased mother, Queen Sindel (Musetta Vander) and unleashing warriors who make quick work of Earth’s heroes, it appears as though our world is doomed.

If you thought the special effects in the original picture were dated, you've seen nothing yet. Several characters in this film transform into beasts so unconvincing a Playstation 1 would laugh them off the screen. Not only do they make you look back fondly at the Hell sequence from Spawn, we’re talking about long, sustained shots that vaporize your suspension of disbelief and grind away at your will to live. Even when special effects aren’t used, the picture isn’t convincing. The fight choreography is awful and the performances from the actors embarrassing.

Speaking of the actors, you’ll notice there have been some changes in the lineup. Only two of the leads reprise their roles. Barring Christopher Lambert as Raiden, none of them are big losses but it's just another tactic the film is using to disappoint the fans. Annihilation is a terrible sequel and proves it instantly when it kills off Johnny Cage at the first opportunity. From there, it’s a rehash of the first picture as the Earthrealm warriors have to split up and go on individual quests, fighting random opponents every few minutes in an attempt to prevent the audience from dozing off. The characters are so thin and the plot so basic it would be a herculean task to care about any of it, even for those who are familiar with the game franchise.

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation is a bore. A mindless, unambitious cash grab that won’t even please those who were eager to see a follow-up to the first picture. You can have a few laughs at its expense, particularly when computer graphics are utilized to create otherworldly monsters, but those come in very late in the game. I can’t imagine anyone watching this sequel and enjoying it. (On Blu-ray, June 29, 2018)

[coraclavia]

Kate Mulgrew in “Murder, She Wrote,” part 3

KM’s third and final appearance in this show is in season 10 episode 17, “The Dying Game,” which aired in 1994. As I mentioned in another post, Robert Beltran was in 10x16. They probably didn’t run into each other on set...but it’s fun to imagine that they did 😂

Kate’s not the primary character in this episode, but she’s involved in a lot of the drama. She plays...not a nice person. She’s a razor-sharp businesswoman, which is fine, but when a young female worker tells her that a creepy male supervisor is bothering her, KM’s response is “I want you to string him along and act like you enjoy his attentions, and then tell me everything he says.” And when the young woman says that makes her very uncomfortable and she doesn’t want to, KM blackmails her, threatening to fire her for something minor that happened years ago. The whole thing is icky.

What’s good about her, though, is her look. I like how they styled her.

I’m pretty skeptical about All Neutrals All The Time, but I like this. The hair is great, and the lip with this muted beige is so nice.

The young woman KM blackmails is played by Musetta Vander. Look familiar? She was Teal’C’s wife Shaunac in Stargate SG-1, and Natalie French in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

The plot of this episode is less interesting than the fashion (at least, in my opinion). There are financial shenanigans happening, and a company is hoping to get bought out by some other company. There’s a museum in here somewhere. Also, someone gets murdered, but that’s just basically how this show works.

KM is sleeping with a guy from the buyout company in order to make sure she knows what’s happening and she doesn’t lose her job.

Obviously this is before Voyager, and unconnected to it, but it makes me laugh, the number of times we’ve seen this woman get romantically paired with a vaguely pleasant grey-haired guy.

On the one hand, the way she treats Musetta’s character is awful. On the other hand, look how nicely she dresses at the company shindig.

Right? I love this. Why couldn’t she find a reason to wear this on Voyager?

Overall, I’m getting Miranda Priestley vibes.

We love a sleek monochrome outfit with carefully-chosen statement jewelry.

Also, the hair. Great hair. I wish she’d brought her curling iron/diffuser/round brush to the Delta Quadrant.

Evil-But-Stylish. Is that an archetype?

Anyway. The End.

Next time on Cora Watches: I haven’t decided yet, but stay tuned.

[doomonfilm]

Thoughts : The Cell (2000)

Back in the early days of this blog, I briefly mentioned The Cell in passing while sharing my thoughts on Fantastic Planet.  This brief mention, however, does not do my feelings towards this film justice... from my initial viewing in theaters up through my recent re-watch in preparation for this blog entry, my enjoyment, devotion and fascination to this film continues to grow.

Dr. Catherine Deane (Jennifer Lopez) is a child psychologist who practices a controversial and forward thinking form of therapy where she neurologically links with her comatose patients in hopes of helping them regain consciousness.  Deane’s latest patient, a young boy named Edward (Colton James) who is suffering from a rare form of viral infection-based schizophrenia, presents a challenge to her and her team, fellow doctors Henry West (Dylan Baker) and Miriam Kent (Mariannne Jean-Baptiste).  The pressure is multiplied by Edward’s parents, who are funding the project, due to their demands for results and threats of pulling Edward from the project.  Meanwhile, a serial killer named Carl Rudolph Stargher (Vince D’Onofrio) is leading Special Agent Peter Novak (Vince Vaughn) and his team on a frustratingly wild goose chase, having just disposed of his sixth victim and kidnapped Julia Hickson (Tara Subkoff), his potential seventh, in rapid succession.  Novak and his team catch a break by recovering paint samples and dog hairs from the scene of the sixth victim’s disposal, but by the time they reach Stargher, he has fallen victim to the very same schizophrenic-based coma that Edward suffers from.  In an act of desperation, Stargher is taken to Dr. Deane’s laboratory with the hopes that her neurological linking treatment can uncover the location of Hickson before she becomes the latest victim, but the process quickly turns into a psycho-surreal nightmare for Deane, Novak and all parties involved.

As someone who is not only fascinated with the complexity of the human mind, but fascinated with true crime as well, a film like The Cell is a perfect intersection of these two elements.  The depravity of Stargher’s twisted methods are still shocking 20 years later, and immediately put the viewer in the shoes of our multiple protagonists by giving us a fly on the wall perspective to his sick madness.  Focusing in on the psychological and physiological quandaries of being unable to differentiate imagination from reality, as well as the theoretical dangers of inviting the unknown into your mind, are grounds for high drama and tension.  Tarsem Singh’s ability to include symbolism that alludes to both the human psyche and other films also play well, not to mention the warped representations of key clues that mirror reality.

For anyone who appreciates production design, this film is a playground of powerful visual elements.  From the ‘fileted body’ suits used to house those taking place in the process, to the transition from reality into the mind, even down to Stargher’s home and dungeon, there is rarely a dull visual environment presented to the viewer.  I do think that the case could have been solved prior to Novak diving into Stargher’s psyche, as it seemed that seeing the company logo in Stargher’s head suddenly reminded him that you could track down purchase histories, but honestly that’s just me splitting hairs... and it would’ve robbed us of some classic Vince Vaughn being Vince Vaughn moments while he is on Stargher’s operating table.  In all honesty, you could mute this film and be blown away by the set design, costuming and emotion that radiates off of the faces of the actors.  The visual representation of Stargher’s victims that Dr. Deane encounters on her first trip into his mind will forever haunt me.

Jennifer Lopez did a good job of balancing her character between mother/protector and professional therapist, and really allowed her thought process to resonate through her facial expressions.  Vincent D’Onofrio’s performance is minimal in terms of dialogue, but he puts on a true masterclass in terms of movement and blocking, especially as the idealized Godlike version of himself that inhabits the dream world.  Vince Vaughn allows himself room for a grounded and nuanced performance, specifically by using the comedic edge he normally exudes as inner turmoil and frustration that guides his devoted passion to catch Stargher.  Dylan Baker and Marianne Jean-Baptiste not only play well off of one another in their role as a medical team, but allow their concerns and fears to stand in as surrogate for that of the audience.  Vaughn is surrounded by star character actors that completely engulf themselves in their special agent roles, especially Jake Weber and Dean Norris, while James Gammon plays the grizzled veteran without falling into trope territory.  Jake Thomas is surprisingly confident for such a young actor placed in such fantastic realms, and it’s the way that he owns his space but shows his fear that endears him with the viewing audience.  Tara Subkoff also does a lot with a little, with her role as the captive easily setting her up for a one-note performance, but her acting choices bucking against that and making the audience buy into her danger.  Appearances by Catheriene Sutherland, Colton James, Musetta Vander, Patrick Bauchau, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Lauri Johnson, Kim Chizevsky-Nicholls and Gareth Williams round out the cast.

For those unfamiliar with this film, or for fans of films like Inception, The Cell is a mind-bending punch in the gut in all the most enjoyable ways.  The ideas that are presented and executed provide discussion topics that last long after the film has ended, and the visuals burn themselves into the memory quite easily.