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happydragon · 3 months ago

Text

Finally Safe

Stak does not trust natborns. They only help you if they need things, which he knew from experience. Sometimes they take without giving. This is why he absolutely did not trust Eden even if his brothers naively did. So he decided to prepare for when they would inevitably have to leave. If only Eden would just stop being nice and prove him right.

Ao3

Rating: Teen to be safe

Word Count: 3,926

Disclaimer: While it is only hinted at, there is a reference to abuse in this fic. I promise you there are no actual scenes where the abuse happens. Stak does have trauma because of it and reacts in certain ways. While I have personally dealt with panic attacks, I know not everyone experiences them the same way and Stak doesn't even experience the same way I do. If you don't think you can read this fic that's ok. Take care of yourself first.

Otherwise, enjoy the fic

@summer-of-bad-batch

A cool breeze blew over the island, the lack of the sun made the air almost freezing. Stak slightly regretted not wearing warmer clothes, but that didn’t matter right now. He needed to get away from there. The house, the island, everything. It all felt too good to be true, that there surely was a price to pay. No one was that nice without ulterior motives. He and his brothers learned the hard way.

So he began to save some of the food the togrutan woman who had volunteered to take in him and his brothers. She seemed nice, but natborns always acted nice before taking what they wanted. Deke was too naive to see that and Mox slowly began to agree with him. Stak knew it wouldn’t end well, which led to him sneaking down to the caves where he hid his getaway stash. There was enough food and clothes for him and his brothers for at least a month. They could easily hunt and forage for more food when they needed to. All he needed left to do was to build a raft to take them to a neighboring island. There wasn’t much light now, so he would have to wait until morning to gather the supplies, but he could start work on the raft probably in a day or two.

“So this what you’ve been doing with the food.”

Stak spun ready to strike, only to find Mox and Deke standing at the mouth of the cave, with the latter holding a lantern at his side.

“What’s going on, Stak?” Deke asked concern coated his voice, “Why are you stashing food?”

Stak could do two things. He could lie and tell them it was for some other reason, but he was never a good liar. If he told the truth they would try to convince him he was worried over nothing. That they really were safe. He knew they wouldn’t see to reason if he tried to explain.

“He’s preparing to leave,” Mox answered, his eyes never leaving Stak’s. Kriff. He forgot how perspective Mox could be. He probably was the first one to notice Stak not eating the food.

“Leave?” Deke echoed, “But why would he want to leave? Eden has given us plenty of food and shelter. She’s been good to us.”

“That’s what she wants you to think,” Stak retorted, frustrated with his brother’s naivety, “Soon she’ll want something in return for all we’ve done and it won’t be a price I’m willing to pay. So I gathered enough supplies to last a month for when we had to eventually leave. Hunter and Wrecker were nice but they’re too busy looking for their own. We have to look after ourselves.”

“But everyone here has been kind to us,” Deke argued, “Even if Eden were to do something, which she won’t, then we could stay with them.”

“How can you be sure? How do you know they won’t listen to whatever lie she’ll tell them?”

“She wouldn’t do that!”

“How can you be sure?!”

“Enough!”

Deke's face turned guilty at the thought of getting in trouble. Stak on the other hand turned his head to glare at the ground. While he was angry that Deke wouldn’t see to reason, he was angrier at Eden for manipulating his brother so well.

“I understand your fears, Stak,” Mox began, “But Deke is right. Eden would never hurt us.” Stak opened his mouth to argue but Mox interrupted, “I’ll make you a deal. If she reveals her true colors like you said, we’ll leave and it’ll be just the three of us again. But if she isn’t you’ll apologize for stealing her food. Deal?”

“It’s not stealing if you’re given it,” Stak mumbled.

“Do we have a deal Stak?” Mox pressed, his eyes telling Stak that Mox heard him. Eventually, Stak grumbled but nodded. He hated that he had to sit and wait for her to make a mistake, but at least he’d be able to gather more supplies in the meantime. He just had to be patient.

************************************************************************

That turned out to be a lot harder than he thought. Eden was frustratingly good at pretending. No matter what he did, Stak could not get her to slip up. Every time he thought he got her for sure, she would just react normally. Like to her it really was an accident when he dropped the cup or she really did misplace her work gloves after she spent all morning looking for them, thus making her late for work. Mox nearly strangled Stak for that. He felt a little guilty after that incident.

Although, he thought he finally had his proof after dinner one evening when she came into the room he shared with the others. She knocked before entering and asked to talk to him. He sat cross-legged on his bed, studying maps of the nearby islands. He wanted to make sure they chose a good one when he and his brothers left.

When she walked in, she didn’t ask to sit on the bed with him, but instead pulled the chair from the small desk in the room and placed it next to his bed.

“I just wanted to see how you were adjusting,” she began calmly, “Been almost a month and a half since you and your brothers arrived here.”

He shrugged and played with the hem of his pant leg. This was probably some ploy to get him to lower his guard. Fat chance.

“Yeah, your brothers said you probably wouldn’t say much, but that’s alright. I wasn’t much of a talker when I first came here either. I was a little older than Mox actually. Well, sorta.”

For the first time since she came into the room, he finally looked up. Her dark mustard yellow face had a far off look with her mouth turned into a small smile as she reminisced when she first came to Pabu. Unlike what little he remembered of General Shaak Ti, Eden had less white markings on her face and a light mud brown colored most lekku and montrals. She was dressed out of her work clothes and into a simple blouse and pants.

“I’m an orphan,” she eventually went on, “Was raised by my aunt for a few years, but she was a horrible nasty woman. Ran away from home after I found she was going to send me away.”

Stak would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious now but he definitely wasn’t going to admit it.

“Hopped from ship to ship, picked up a couple of tricks until Shep and his dad, the previous chief, found me. They took me to Pabu and gave me a home. Some of the locals were kind enough to take me in. They gave me a fresh start and now I get to do the same.”

When she finished, she looked back at Stak with a kind and sincere smile and he knew his brothers were right. Eden would never hurt them. She was just like them. The guilt of all he had done immediately began to drown him. Eden had shown him nothing but kindness and he’s been nothing but trouble.

“Enough about that,” she interrupted his spiraling mind, “I didn’t come in here to talk about myself. I wanted to ask if there was something you wanted to get.”

He cocked his head confused. Get something?

“This is your home now too. It’s only fair you get some sort of say in it. Of course, I’d prefer not to have certain things like a machine blaster, but I can work a compromise.”

“I’d have to think about it,” he said honestly after a moment.

“I can work with that. Find me when you do think of something though okay?”

Stak nodded and she sent a smile his way, which he found easy to return. She then returned the chair back to its place and left the room.

From then on, things began to look up. Stak realized Eden was actually kinda cool and she would teach him and his brothers loads of things that weren’t taught before like silly games and such. One stormy evening she was showing Deke how to dance while Deke and Stak helped prepare the night’s dinner.

Stak didn’t know where it went wrong, but he knew it was his fault. One moment he was laughing at the sight of Mox as he stumbled his way as Eden tried to show him how to dance, the next Stak was panting, Eden’s holding her upper arm tight as blood dripped down her arm, and Mox and Deke were staring at Stak with wide eyes. He finally looked down at his hand and found the knife he had been using to cut vegetables. The knife he used to hurt Eden. He hurt Eden. It was his fault.

Immediately he dropped the knife like it burned him and looked back in horror at Eden.

“I’m alright, Stak,” Eden stuttered as she tried to approach him, “I know it was an accident. I’m not going to do anything I promise. You won’t get in trouble.”

He shook his head as he slowly backed away. He didn’t believe her. He ruined everything. Because of his stupid fear, he hurt one of the few people that cared about him.

Eden took another step forward, but Stak couldn’t let her get hurt again. So he spun and ran out and into the pouring rain. They cried out his name but he didn’t turn back. He couldn’t stay here anymore. He was too much of a danger.

His feet carried him to the cave where he hid his supplies and a half-built raft. Luckily the cave had yet to be flooded by the rising ocean but that could change. He needed to leave soon. It would be crazy if Stak tried to use the raft in the storm, but he had already caused enough hurt, so stealing a boat was out of the question. The raft wasn’t perfect but it would do the job.

He worked quickly, trying to balance the supplies on the raft so it wouldn’t tip over when he got on. Just as he was about to step on, a voice called out, “Wait!”

Whipping his head around, he found Deke running toward him.

“I’m not going back!” Stak yelled over the storm as he turned back to his task at hand, “I can’t! Not after what I’ve done!”

“I wasn’t going to stop you! I’m coming with you!”

Stak froze, not believing his ears. He must have misheard his brother. That had to be it.

“Did you really think you're going without me?” Deke continued, “Not going to happen. You're my brother. We stick together.”

“But you’re happy here. Why would you want to leave?” Especially with me Stak thought but left unsaid.

“If you left I wouldn’t be. You and Mox are my home. I love living here, but I can’t lose you.”

“You belong here with her. I don’t. I’ll only hurt her.”

For a moment, Deke said nothing and Stak thought his brother had left, but when Stak looked up, Deke had come closer and reached to place a hand on his brother’s shoulder.

“I know it was an accident,” Deke began, “And I know why you did it. You tried to hide it, but I remember the way Dr. Glint looked at you. She hurt you, didn’t she?”

Stak could barely bring himself to nod. He tried not to think about her and it was easy since they weren’t on Setron anymore, but it didn’t stop his instincts. Instincts that hurt Eden, who would never do that kind of stuff to him or his brothers.

“I’m not safe,” Stak whispered, “I’ll just hurt her.”

“What if there was a way you could learn not to? I overheard someone ask Eden if she would take us to a mind healer. Eden said she wouldn’t make us if we didn’t want to.”

“And they could fix me? The mind healer?”

“I don’t know but you can give it a shot, right? But that would mean you’d have to stay here. If you still want to leave, I’m coming with you.”

“What about Mox? You said he was your home too.”

“He could catch up with us later. So what are we doing?”

Stak turned over every word. If he could be fixed he wouldn’t have to leave. He could stay with Eden and his brothers. The question was if Eden still wanted him, even after everything. Only one way to find out.

He nodded and let his brother take his hand as Deke led them back to Eden’s house. Thankfully the storm had dissipated, allowing the cadets a clear path home. As they approached the house, they heard yelling, causing Stak to momentarily panic. Was that his fault too? If Deke noticed Stak’s hesitance, he said nothing and continued forward. When they got closer, Stak could make out Eden and Hunter’s voices. The older clone had just gotten back a few days from a mission. A few weeks ago he and Wrecker came back to Pabu with not only Omega but another clone named Crosshair. Stak hadn’t met him yet, but he’d see the solitary clone walking around sometimes.

“Eden listen,” Hunter began calmly, but was interrupted by a furious-sounding Eden.

“No, you listen Hunter! You’re not the one who’s been watching after him for the past three and a half months! You’re not the one who helped discover Deke’s love for robotics or taught Mox how to cook something other than roasting whatever he could catch! You’re not the karking one who watched as Stak finally realized he had a home here and no one would hurt him, not even those karking Imperial scientists! So I don’t kriffing care if you think it would be better if just clones looked for him, I am looking for him with or without your help!”

Stak barely had a moment to process her words before Deke pulled the two of them into the house and startled the occupants. Eden stood head to head with Hunter, who had his hands up in surrender, and immediately whipped her head toward the door Stak and Deke came from. Apparently, they weren’t the only ones in the house, as Stak spotted Crosshair leaning against the kitchen countertop, Wrecker standing next to Hunter and Omega huddled with Mox in a different corner where they seemed to have been talking before Stak and Deke walked in. Mox reacted the quickest, sprinted toward Stak, and tackled him, nearly sending him to the ground. After a moment, Stak overcame his shock and hugged his brother in return.

“Please never do that again,” Mox whispered into Stak’s shoulder as the former buried his head and hugged tighter. Stak said nothing as he buried his head into Mox’s neck and nodded. It felt amazing to be in his big brother’s arms. He was safe and protected.

“Looks like we don’t have to find him after all!” Wrecker cheered. Stakk briefly looked up and saw Wrecker make his way over to the two cadets and rustle Stak’s head. The gesture made Stak smile, if only for a moment.

“Looks like we’re not needed here anymore,” Hunter said, which caused Stak to fully raise his head, “It’s late and we should head back.”

Eden nodded, then said after she cleared her throat, “Thank you for offering to help. I’m sure the boys appreciated it.”

Hunter nodded then turned to Stak and said, “Try not to pull any more stunts like this again.”

Stak nodded and then one by one each of the Bad Batch filed out with Omega bringing up the rear as she beamed a smile and waved at him and Mox. Eden showed them out and made sure to shut the door behind them before she turned to Stak and Mox who were still in each other's arms. She didn’t approach, instead asked if Stak was hurt anywhere. When he shook his head, she nodded, then told him he and Deke should change out of their wet clothes and asked Mox to get a blanket from the chest in her room while she prepared something warm for them.

Mox and Deke nodded, so Stak reluctantly let go of his brother to head to the bedroom. Deke volunteered to change in the bathroom and let Stak change in their room. After Stak changed, he turned to leave the room but hesitated. The realization finally struck Stak that Eden knew. She knew about what happened to him. Did she know everything? Did she pity him? Was she disgusted? All she did was ask if he was hurt and barely acknowledged him. Was she more upset than she said she was when he attacked her? Maybe it would be best if he stayed in his room. He would cause less trouble that way.

Slowly, he backed away from the door and instead buried himself under his covers. It had been a long night anyway. He was tired, wet, and not even hungry despite what his stomach said. As he lay there he didn’t know if it was hours or minutes, but he knew he couldn’t fall asleep despite his exhaustion. For the first time since Sentro, he was terrified to close his eyes and see her again.

Suddenly a knock sounded from the door. It took everything in him to not let his voice crack as he answered, “I’m not hungry. I was just going to go to bed.”

There was silence so he assumed whoever it was they just left.

“Can I talk to you for a moment?” Eden called for a moment. If he said no, she would probably leave him alone. He should say no and just try to sleep. A part of him wanted to say no. Another smaller part of him wanted to let her in. If only to not think about Sentro.

Eventually, the smaller part of him won out and allowed her to come in. He didn’t get out of bed but he sat up as she walked in. Her face was unreadable as carried a single mug of something steaming. It smelled delicious.

“I figured you might want something for your stomach, even if you're not hungry.”

As he reached out to take it, a thank you on his tongue, his eyes caught the bright white bandage on her arm. The same arm where he cut her. Suddenly the drink didn’t seem so appetizing anymore. He lowered his hands and head and mumbled “No thank you,” as he tried to look anywhere but her. In a need to feel small, he pulled his knees up and wrapped his arms around his legs, while he rested his head on top of his knees.

Stak heard Eden sigh and placed the mug on his nightstand. She would probably leave now since she was probably too tired to deal with him. He would.

“I’m sorry, Stak.”

Of all the words he expected her to say, those were nowhere on the list. His head snapped so fast as she looked at him with a sorrowful expression.

“I should have asked before touching you like that and I’m sorry that I made you feel unsafe. That is the last thing I ever wanted to do. This deserves to be your safe space just as much as it is mine and your brothers. If you would rather go live with Hunter and them, I won’t stop you-”

“No!” he exclaimed, startling both himself and Eden.

“I-I mean I don’t want to leave,” he continued more softly as he turned his head away again and picked at his blanket, “I like it here and so do my brothers. Earlier wasn’t your fault anyway.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched her crouch down and place a hand on the edge of the bed as far from him as possible.

“It wasn’t yours either,” she said in a soft voice, “I don’t know what happened to you or your brothers, but I do know no one deserves to go through what you boys went through. When I let you into my home, I wanted to give you what I had when I was brought here and I failed that. If you’d allow me, I would love to try again.”

He lifted his head to meet her eyes, and whispered, “What if I hurt you again?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, but I can promise you, I’ll still want you here even then. I wanted to run after you so bad, but Mox convinced me to get my arm wrapped up and get reinforcements. Once the storm had finally cleared up, well, I’m sure you heard the rest.”

He nodded as he looked down again. Hunter must have said something really bad that made her upset. She’d never been like that with him or his brothers. Technically, Hunter and the others were his brothers too but it wasn’t the same.

“So what do you say?” Eden hummed, gently pulling him from his thoughts like he was a hurt loth kitten. If it were anyone but her, he would have snapped at them, but Eden was different. A good different.

“I want to stay with you,” he answered as he turned his head toward her again, “I want to get fixed.”

Her face shifted into a sad smile, immediately making his hackles rise. She noticed this and held her hand up in a stop motion.

“I’m willing to do anything to help,” she began slowly, “But I want to know I would still want you even if you’re broken.”

Oh. She couldn’t possibly mean that. Dr. Glint had said no one would want a broken clone like him. But Dr. Glint enjoyed taunting and lying to Stak, just to get a raise out of him so she could punish him. Eden on the other hand had never lied to him. At least that he knew of. Even if she did, he trusted her more than Dr. Glint.

He hadn’t even realized he was crying until Eden held a tissue to his face, not wiping the tears herself because she didn’t want to touch him unless he wanted to. He ignored the tissue and leaped straight for her. She fell back from the weight of him and Stak almost immediately pulled away, scared he hurt her again. Then he felt her arms wrap around him as she squeezed him tight. Soon he heard the door open, causing both of him to lift their heads to find Mox and Deke, out of breath and staring at Stak and Eden with worried expressions.

“We heard a thud,” Mox explained.

“We thought Stak tried to run again,” Deke added, fear evident in his voice.

Eden said nothing as she held a hand out to his brothers. Deke took the invasion first and dropped to the floor as Eden pulled him close to her side. Stak gently placed his own hand arm around his brother as Mox walked to the other side of Eden. As he knelt to the ground, she wrapped her free arm around him and pulled him close as well, now surrounded on three sides. Stak cozied close to his brothers while Eden rested her cheek on his head. For what felt like the first time, there was no other place Stak wanted to be.

Disclaimer: Stak sees himself as broke and unworthy and believes everything will be fixed after he sees a therapist. I do not share that opinion and know healing and recovering from trauma can take a long time depending on the person.

If there is anything I need to add to the tags please let me know. I hope you enjoyed the fic and I didn't offend anyone.

Would love to hear y'all's thoughts!!!

#clone cadet stak #clone cadet mox #clone cadet deke #togruta oc #the bad batch #tbb #tbb crosshair #tbb omega #tbb hunter #tbb wrecker #summerofbadbatch2024 #week 4 #cadets #You really think you're going without me? Not going to happen."#mentioned past abuse #tw past abuse #panic attack #tw panic attack #to live again au

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