#Mon's bringing light to Sam's dark world

[respectthepetty]

Is Sam's fear of the dark going to be a plot point?

She has played with a lighter several times, she sleeps with the lights on, she claps on her lights, and admitted to fearing the darkness.

Is this how her anxiety manifests (night means the end of the day and another day begins, so some people's fear of dark/night stems from the anxiety of not completing tasks and having to face another day) or did some trauma happen that caused her to fear the dark?

I'm invested.

[starryeyes-darkestnights]

The City

The second part of the O’Knutzy au where Leo and Logan are still playing for the Lions, but Finn is a musician they met by chance on a roadie to Montreal.

I still don’t know what to call this story! But you can find part 1 here.

Also, this is kind of long, it got away from me :)

The song referenced in this part is The City, by Sam Fischer.

These beautiful characters and their world belong to the incredible @lumosinlove

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leo

When Leo and Logan stepped off the plane in Gryffindor painfully early the next morning, their phones buzzed in unison.  

Finn: Hey guys! It’s Finn. Just sending my number. I hope your morning wasn’t too bad after the late night. Mine was excellent, I slept all the way through your entire flight 😇. Anyway, let me know you get this, and I hope you were serious about getting together when we’re all back home. My dancing legs are ready.

Leo heard Logan snort under his breath and looked over to see him smirking as he typed out a response.

Logan: Our morning was awful, thanks for asking. Your dancing legs better be training before we get together again, because I can confirm that as of yesterday, they are not, in fact, ready.

Leo rolled his eyes affectionately, typing as he moved toward the baggage claim.

Leo: Tremz is just grumpy he didn’t get to limbo. Don’t listen to him.

He heard Logan let out an offended sound somewhere behind him and bit back a smile, restraining himself from turning to see Logan’s face.

Finn: Haha, sorry not sorry Logan. Also, if that’s how it’s going to be, then the competition just got real. Bring in the judge. We’ll see whose really got the moves. Spoiler alert, it’s me.

Logan: Challenge accepted. Though I would caution you to reconsider.

Finn: Back down from a dance contest?! Never! THIS. IS. SPARTAAA!!!!

Leo let out a surprised laugh at that. It would seem that Finn shared Logan’s love of a challenge.

Leo: … oh my god.

Finn: You know you love it Leo.

Leo: I do not.  

Logan: He does, I can literally see him laughing.

This time Leo did turn around, just in time to see a smirking Logan flipping him off. Leo shot him a glare.

Leo: Traitor!

Finn: Hahahahah

Logan: Ok our ride is here. I’m gonna go pass out.

Leo: Have a good holiday Finn. Let us know when you’re back in town.

Finn: You too guys. Talk to you soon.

Leo clicked off his phone with a smile and grabbed his bags.

One Week Later

Finn

Finn: Hey guys, just letting you know I’ll be back in Gryffindor tomorrow. I’ve got a late flight in.

Leo: Really? That’s cool. I thought for sure you’d be in Montreal until after the New Year.

Finn: Nah, I’ve got some stuff to do for school, and I have a gig the day after tomorrow I need to be back for.

This was at least 50% a lie.

Which meant, Finn had reasoned with himself earlier as he used the exact same line to explain to his family why he had moved his flight up almost a full week, that the other 50% was the truth.

Finn had been messaging with Leo and Logan since they left Montreal, and when he had found out two days ago that they had only had a three day break with their families over Christmas and that they were now back to work in Gryffindor, he hadn’t hesitated before looking for excuses to get back there himself.

As a result, he really did have a gig scheduled for the day after tomorrow that he had to be back for. He may have begged his way through his contacts list for the past two days to find that gig, but it was real. And even though he didn’t have a single thing due for school, if he now had to go back for the gig, he could totally get a head start on something. Which was kind of the exact same thing. So really, it was more like 75% truth. If you rounded, that made it 100%.

Logan: Sweet. Let us know the time and place, we’ll come and see if you’re any good without us 😉.

Finn scoffed at his phone. He dropped a pin with the location of the gig, took a selfie of himself shooting a rude gesture Logan’s way, and grabbed his guitar.

He prided himself on always putting his best into every show, and if Leo and Logan were going to come to this one, he needed to be a little extra prepared. He hadn’t been able to get either one of him out of his mind since the night they met, evergreen eyes and a sweet dimpled smile flashing behind his eyes every time he tried to play. It was going to be impossible to focus when they were right there in front of him, so if he didn’t want to make an idiot out of himself, he needed to get practicing.

---

Logan

Two days later, Logan was waiting for Leo outside of a coffee shop in downtown Gryffindor.

It was a chilly evening, starting to snow, and he shivered lightly as he looked up at the flakes floating gently in the light of the coffeeshop windows. He picked one and followed its path through the sky, trying to distract himself from the weird knot that had settled in his stomach earlier in the evening. The one he told himself had nothing to do with the visions of freckles and sinfully long lashes that he was trying desperately to keep from flashing through his mind unbidden.

“Whatcha looking at Tremz?”

Logan had been so focused that he nearly jumped out of his skin when a calm voice sounded just beside him.

His hand flew to his chest as he looked up to see Leo smiling down at him, his cheeks flushed from the cold, and a streetlight behind him lighting up his golden curls. Logan’s pulse stuttered. Fuck. He hated being caught off-guard.

“Mon dieu, Nutty.” He choked out, putting a hand to his heart, which was now pounding against his ribs. “Learn to make noise when you walk. You scared the shit out of me.”

Leo just laughed, “If you were paying attention you would have seen me coming. I’m not exactly easy to miss.” He gestured at his long limbs.

He had a point. Logan made a face at him and turned toward the door, looking up at the sign above the entrance as he tried to pull himself together. It read ‘The Burrow’.

“Come on,” he grumbled, his pulse beginning to calm, “let’s get a drink before Finn starts playing.”

When they walked in, Logan was surprised at what they found. The Burrow was much bigger than it looked from the outside. The brightly painted walls went back further than expected, and a second level ran around the perimeter of the room, giving patrons a view down onto the main floor, where a permanent stage was set up in the front corner. The back wall was taken up by a dark wooden bar, several baristas moving gracefully around one another in quick, practised, movements as they mixed and delivered drinks. The rest of the space was filled haphazardly with tables, and those tables were already filled with people, the low buzz of their conversation filling the room.

It was warm, and bright, and it smelled like chocolate and coffee.

“Wow,” said Leo, looking impressed, “This is… not what I expected.”

Logan hummed his agreement, eyebrows raised as he looked around, impressed at how cozy it managed to be despite its size. His eyes landed on an empty table halfway back from the stage and he nudged Leo.  “I’m gonna go grab us seats over there. Will you get drinks?”

Leo agreed, and as he headed toward the bar, Logan started to make his way across the room. He was halfway there when he caught a glimpse of red hair in his periphery. He stopped in his tracks as his stomach made an unexpected flip. Finn was standing near the stage, talking to an older woman who seemed to be helping him with some cables. He was laughing, and even from a distance Logan could see the way his face lit up with it, his wide brown eyes glowing in the warm lights of the coffee shop. Logan was suddenly gripped with the desire to be the one eliciting that laugh, the one who got to be right there to experience it.

He pulled in a sharp breath and stopped himself. This was why he had been trying to block those visions from his mind. It could never happen. Not so long as he was playing in the NHL. Logan had chosen this career knowing it would mean hiding this part of himself away, very deeply, for as long as he wanted to play. He had been doing so well with it, hadn’t even slipped up with Leo. He could shut this down too. Stop it before it had a chance to start.

He took another a deep breath and pulled his gaze away from Finn, moving more quickly now until he was able to slump into the chairs he had targeted. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, trying to get his thoughts back under control. When he opened them again, it was to find Leo right behind him, full lips turned up in an amused smile at catching him staring straight up at nothing for the second time that night. His stomach flipped again at the unexpected sight. Damnit. He needed to get his feelings under control, and he needed to do it now.

“I would ask what you’re looking at again, but it didn’t go so well the first time.” Leo joked as he pulled out the chair across from him.

Logan forced out some kind of noncommittal response and straightened to look at the cups in Leo’s hands, desperate for any kind of distraction from his thoughts.

“What’d you bring me, Nut?” he asked, trying to keep his voice upbeat. But Leo was a goalie, and a good one. His observational skills were well-honed, and he knew Logan. His gaze shot immediately to the older boy’s face, soft blue eyes flickering over his features intently.  His eyebrows furrowed and Logan tensed under his gaze, silently praying for him to leave it alone. Whatever Leo saw in his face, he must have decided to let Logan have it, as he gave him a final once-over and then slowly pushed something that looked iced and sugary in his direction.

“I will never understand why you like these things,” he said carefully, “but I picked the most sweet-sounding one they had.”

“I like them because they’re delicious.” Logan replied, grateful to him for letting it go. “You just have no taste.”

Leo narrowed his eyes, “Strong words coming from – “

A voice interrupted him, “Logan Tremblay?”

Logan looked up to find a very pretty girl standing beside their table.

“And Leo Knut.” added a girl standing beside her.

Logan felt relief wash over him at their timing. This was familiar. This was a distraction he could work with.

---

Finn

Finn had just finished setting up the stage when he finally let himself look for Leo and Logan. He leaned against a wall and cast his gaze around the room, smiling at the comfortable familiarity of the space- one he had performed in dozens of times before. He was stoked to be introducing the boys to this place. He loved the Burrow, and the people who filled it. He had been coming here religiously since his freshman year of college, after falling in love with the strange way it managed to be both big and bright, and cozy and warm. He had been delighted by the contradictory nature of the place on his first visit, and had immediately turned himself into a fixture. After a while he had gotten to know the baristas, and through them, the owner, Molly.

Molly had become somewhat of a second mother to Finn over the years, and, due to their similar fiery red hair, was often mistaken by customers for his actual mother- something Finn found hilarious and she found… not so hilarious, given that she was only ten years older than him. It had been Molly who had helped him overcome his stage fright, had set up his first ever show here at The Burrow way back when. She was also the one who had come through when he was pleading for gigs earlier that week, and even though he was suspicious of the fact that she had, uncharacteristically, not questioned his last-minute request, he had been very happy to see her that evening when she had popped by and helped him untangle a mess of cables.

Now, though, there were only two people Finn wanted to see, and he was hoping to catch them before he started playing. His eyes skimmed across the crowd of cheerful patrons and quickly caught sight of Leo’s tousled blonde curls moving across the room, a head higher than almost everyone else. His smile gave way to a grin as he watched the younger man sit down at a table and pass a drink to Logan. Excitement thrummed in his veins as he pushed off the wall toward them, only to be stopped dead in his tracks when he saw two girls approach the hockey players. He watched as they introduced themselves, and his stomach twisted as Logan sent one of them a cocky, flirtatious grin, pulling out the chair next to him. The girls joined the table and leaned in, and Finn’s smile turned rueful. Of course. He didn’t know what he had been expecting from this reunion exactly, but as he watched Logan flirting shamelessly from where stood, he realized that he had been hoping they felt what he felt when they first met. That they had experienced the same sparks. Now, as reality came crashing down around him in the form of two beautiful girls, he recognized how ridiculous those hopes had been. They were NHL players for fuck’s sake. He was an idiot for thinking either one of them could have been anything more than a friend. He gave them one last look and changed his trajectory to the washroom instead.

---

Leo

Leo was worried. He had noticed something was up with Logan as soon as he saw him outside the Burrow earlier that evening. He had been distracted; his eyes distant. By the time they had sat down inside, he was completely in his own head, and the tension in his body was visible.  Leo had wanted to ask him about it, but after seeing the panic that flashed across his features when he made a move to do so, he had decided it was best to leave it alone for the time being. Give Logan the chance to bring it up himself.

But now Logan was flirting, openly and brazenly, with this random girl who had recognized him from the Lions, and Leo couldn’t leave it alone anymore.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t used to seeing Logan flirt — Logan was gorgeous, girls were constantly coming up to him at bars. But he didn’t usually encourage them this boldly. At least not when he was sober, and never if they recognized who he was. They had had more than one lecture from Coach Weasley about power dynamics and taking advantage of people who looked up to them, and Logan took them seriously. This wasn’t like him.  

After politely cutting off the conversation he had been trying to hold with the girl now seated beside him, Leo cleared his throat and spoke loudly enough for Logan to hear.

“Hey Tremzy, I think it’s time to go grab that snack.” He sent a bright smile to the girls. “It was really nice to meet you both. I’m glad to hear you’re fans of the team. Maybe we’ll see you at a game sometime.”

He kept that fake smile plastered on his face as he pushed his chair back from the table, catching Logan looking up at him with annoyance clear in his expression. Leo raised an eyebrow and prayed he would go along with him. He didn’t know what was going on with Logan, but what he was doing here was not okay, and it needed to stop.

Logan held his gaze for a moment before he huffed out a breath through his nose, his expression softening as he nodded. The tension he had built up since walking into the coffee shop seemed to bleed out of him as his shoulders dropped. He turned to the now confused looking girl beside him and gave her the same line Leo had used, shaking her hand and standing to follow Leo to the bar.

Leo waited until they were out of earshot before stopping and turning to Logan.

“You want to tell me what that was about?”

Logan sighed in response, pulling his hat off his head and running a hand through his hair before replacing it. “I don’t know. I wasn’t going to take it farther than that, I swear, I just…” He looked down at his shoes. “Look, I’m sorry. Can we just forget about it?”

Leo just watched him, waiting patiently until Logan’s eyes met his again. He reached out and rested a steady hand on his shoulder.

“Are you ok, Tremz? You seem… out of it, tonight.”

“What? No. I’m fine. Really. Just tired.” Logan tried his best to look it, but Leo saw right through him. He had spent the better part of the past year trying to pretend to himself that he didn’t want to learn everything there was to know about the beautiful man in front of him. He had failed, miserably. He knew Logan, and he knew something was still bothering him.

He briefly debated whether or not to push it this time, but even though Logan was clearly not yet fine, getting called out seemed to have helped. He did seem more like himself than he had five minutes earlier. So Leo settled on trying to cheer him up instead, resolving to follow up later when they weren’t in public.

“Alright,” he nodded at Logan, letting him have his excuse, “but you know I’m always here if you need me.”

Then he switched to a teasing voice. “You want me to order you another disgusting excuse for a coffee? Maybe that’ll wake you up.”

Logan let out a small laugh at that, and his smile finally seemed genuine. Leo nudged his shoulder and started moving toward the bar again.

“Come on. Finn’s gonna start any time, and I was serious about the snack. I need cake.”

Leo didn’t need to look back to know that despite the eyeroll he was certain had occurred, Logan would follow him to wherever there were baked goods.

---

Finn

Finn had given himself an excellent pep talk in the washroom, telling himself it was good he had come to his senses about the boys now, while he was alone, instead of embarrassing himself in front of them later. The disappointment he felt was still settled deep in his chest, but he knew himself well enough to be aware that he worked through his feelings best on a stage. And luckily for him, that was where he was currently headed

From the moment he started the show, Finn let himself get lost in the music, feeling his spirits lift back up as he watched the energy of the room rise and fall with his, letting the tempo of the songs he played encourage their dancing or their calm swaying. He had managed to sneak one of his own songs into the set list, and he played it for people for the first time, watching for reactions and not holding back his smile when people seemed to like it. It was a hard one for him to sing, bringing back some not so great memories. He didn’t look for Leo or Logan again, but he knew they were there, and he put in his best effort to make sure they were entertained. By the time he started his final song, his mind was blissfully clear again. Thank god for music.

After wrapping up the show with a grateful thank you to the crowd for their support, Finn started once again looking forward to reconnecting with the two men he suspected would become important to him. He may not be able to get rid of whatever these decidedly non-platonic feelings were, but he was confident he could push them to the side to make room for their friendship.

He had just hopped off the stage – buzzing with post-show energy, sweaty, and looking for water – when a familiar French-Canadian accent sounded from behind him. “Ok, you win. I admit that you are still incredible, even without our help.”

Finn spun around to find a head of dark curls bowing dramatically in front of him, Leo a few steps back with his eyes closed and a hand over his face, as if hiding from Logan’s antics. He threw his arms in the air and grinned at the two of them, genuinely happy to see them. “Guys! You made it!”

That brought a smile out of Leo. “Of course we did,” he laughed as he and Logan both moved in to give him congratulatory high fives, “your show was incredible, by the way. These people really liked you.”

Finn smiled sincerely at that. “Thanks, Leo.”

Leo handed him a bottle of water. “Also, we thought you might want this. You were looking kind of sweaty.”

“Oh my god, you absolute gem of a human,” Finn moaned as he cracked open the bottle, “I was just about to go hunt one of these down.”

Logan watched with an amused smile as he downed the whole thing in one go. “Glad to be of service.”

Finn wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and shot them both a grateful look “So much better. Thank you, guys.”

He looked back toward the mess he still had to pack up from the stage. “I need like twenty minutes or so to get this all cleaned up, then did you guys still want to head down to the bar?”

The three of them had previously planned to head out to a place down the street after Finn’s set, and Finn was looking forward to releasing some of the evening’s adrenaline on a dance floor.

“Ya, for sure.” Leo responded, eyes flicking up to the stage. “Is there anything we can help you with?”

“Nope! Cleaning up is a lot easier than setting up. You guys go enjoy yourselves, I’ll be done here quick.”

Leo and Logan looked at one another, and Logan looked like he was about to object, so Finn started shooing them away. “Go!” He encouraged them, waving his hands to guide them back toward the tables. He wanted them to enjoy themselves, not be stuck helping him clean. “It’s fine, I do this all the time, I have a system, I promise. Get a nice drink and relax.”

Logan put his arms up in surrender, green eyes sparkling with laughter as he watched Finn flap. “D’accord, ok, we will go. Put your crazy hands away. Just let us know if we can help, ok?”

Finn agreed, and then watched them head back over to the bar with a smile on his face. He was surprised, he thought to himself as he started looping up cables, at how the interaction left him feeling. He had expected to be a little nervous and awkward, especially after the way the evening began for him, but instead he found himself immediately feeling the sort of comfortable ease that usually comes from being around people you’ve known your entire life. It was like they belonged together.

As friends, he reminded himself. Only as friends. He could totally do this.  

---

Logan

Logan leaned against the bar, playing with the strings of his hoodie as Leo once again ordered drinks for them. He was feeling much better now, the knot that had taken up residence in his stomach earlier that evening finally gone. There had been something calming about watching Finn move across the stage, singing familiar covers with an energy that was uniquely his own. He had poured himself into it, connecting to the songs in a way that drew the audience, including Logan, along with his every move. It had been fascinating, seeing that version of Finn. His grin was still mischievous, his movements still wild, but he was also… purposeful. Less dorky on stage than he had been on the dance floor. Logan had been mesmerized. Sitting there next to Leo’s steady, grounding presence, letting Finn’s charisma pull him out of his own head, Logan had slowly unwound. By the time Finn had finished his final song, something unfamiliar that Logan had made a note to download later, he felt much more like himself.

“Hey, Nut,” he nudged Leo’s arm, “ask them what Finn likes. We should get him something for when he’s done.”

Leo looked over as the barista dropped three drinks on the counter in front of him, a stray curl falling in his eyes. “Already on it, Tremz.”

Logan ignored the way he wanted to reach out and push that curl back, and looked down at the drinks, surprised. “Oh shit. You’re fast.”

“Yes, Logan. That’s what happens when you don’t run through the entire list of drinks and their ingredients before you order.” Leo responded drily, standing as he wrapped his long fingers around two of the beverages in front of him.

“Well, how else are you supposed to know which one is going to taste the best?” Logan picked up the third cup, his own iced coffee, and sucked at the straw happily.

Leo huffed out an affectionate laugh. “You get the same thing every time anyway! Why does it matter?”

Logan shrugged as they headed back to their table. “I switch up the flavours sometimes. It’s not my fault nobody’s come up with anything better yet.”

They were still bickering about the pros and cons of knowing every component of your iced coffee when Finn pulled out the chair next to Leo and flopped into it with a grin. “Hey guys! Thanks for waiting.”

Logan looked over at him, definitely not noticing the way the warm lighting brought out the freckles scattered across the bridge of his nose. “Finn!” He cried, pointing at the redhead. “We have a drink for you, but first you have to pick my side in battle.”

Leo’s jaw dropped, affronted. “Logan! You can’t bribe your way to a win!”

“Watch me.”

Finn looked between them, amusement spreading across his face. “Hmm. Well, I don’t know what this battle is, but before I decide whether to help Logan cheat his way to victory, I need to know if the drink is worth it. What’s in it?”

There was a startling flurry of movement as Leo groaned loudly, dropping his face into his hands, and Logan jumped up from his chair with his fists in the air, letting out a victorious cheer. “Aye!! Right answer Finn!” He high fived the redhead and sat back down, feeling triumphant.

Finn laughed, looking startled and confused but accepting his drink from Leo’s outstretched hand anyway. He took a sip as the taller boy fold his arms on the table, dropping his head to hide inside of them.

“Hey! This is my drink. How did you know?”

“We asked the barista,” Leo’s muffled, grumpy, voice came from where his face was still buried in his arms. “She knew.”

“Chin up buttercup!” Logan crowed, leaning over to ruffle Leo’s blonde curls. “It’s ok to lose sometimes. As long as you’re not me.”

Leo lifted his head, eyes narrowed at Logan. “I am not a buttercup.”

Finn couldn’t help laughing at his disgruntled face. “Do you prefer daffodil?” Leo turned the withering glare his way. Finn tried again. “Marigold?”  

Leo just dropped his head again.

“Meh, I’ll call that a win. Marigold it is.”

Logan chuckled, deciding it was time to offer up an explanation for the scene Finn had walked into. “Leo doesn’t think it’s important to ask what’s in a drink before you order it. We were discussing why he’s wrong.”

Leo’s head shot back up as he glared at Logan again. “That is NOT what—” He stopped himself, sighing and closing his eyes as Logan just looked at him, face gloating. “You know what. No.” He opened his eyes again and raised his hands in surrender. “It’s fine. I accept my defeat.”

“Good man.” Finn clapped him on the shoulder. “Way to be the bigger person.”

“Thank you, Finn.” Leo smiled at the other man before turning to Logan. His intimidatingly blank goalie face slid perfectly into place as he looked Logan dead in the eyes. “I will get you back for this.”

Logan, used to Leo using this tactic to try and throw him off on the ice, simply met his gaze and grinned back cockily, straw between his teeth. “I look forward to you trying.”

“So,” Finn jumped in, changing the subject, “did you actually like the show?”

Leo turned to him, a genuine smile returning to his face. “We did! You didn’t tell us you wrote original music.”

“Is that what that song was? The last one?” Logan asked, surprised.

“Oh, ya. I don’t always play my own stuff at shows like the one we had in Montreal, but I can usually get away with sneaking a couple in at places like this. It’s part of why I like playing here so much.”

“I really liked it,” Logan complimented Finn, watching a red flush creep across his cheekbones again, “I was actually going to ask you what it was so I could download it. It reminded me of when I first moved to Gryffindor.”

Finn looked at him with an unreadable look on his face. “Seriously?”

Logan nodded, worried that he had said the wrong thing.

“That’s… I wrote that song about Gryffindor. About what it was like when I first moved here and didn’t know anybody. Before I made friends, before I discovered this place.”

“You really captured it.” Leo said softly.

Finn looked flustered, his calloused fingers rubbing the back of his neck in a way that made Logan want to take their place.

Leo, ever intuitive, noticed Finn’s discomfort and changed the subject, “You mentioned you were in grad school, are you studying music?”

“Nope! English Lit.” Finn looked relieved for the new topic, his features brightening. “But I did double major with music in undergrad.”

Logan sat back, content as he listened to the boys across from him talk, first about music and Finn’s connection to the Burrow, then about hockey, chiming in from time to time with questions or stories of his own as they moved smoothly between subjects. The time flew by as they chatted animatedly, and by the time Logan thought to check his watch, it was close to 1 am.

Surprised, he looked up at the room around them and realized it was nearly empty. He hadn’t even noticed people leaving. One of the baristas was sweeping the floor. He waited for Finn to finish a story about the time he had accidentally adopted his neighbours pet (“I helped her look for her cat for almost two weeks before I realized it was the one I had been feeding every night. Embarrassing does not begin to explain.”) to point it out to them.

“Uh, guys, I think we’re about to be kicked out.”

Leo and Finn both looked startled, turning to look around the room the same way he had, and Logan realized he wasn’t the only one oblivious to what had been going on outside of their bubble. The thought made him feel strangely happy.

Finn looked back at Logan, surprised. “Huh. I had no idea. What time is it?”

“Almost one. I know, I didn’t realize either.”

Leo checked his watch. “So it is.” The corners of his mouth turned down a bit, “I guess we aren’t going to the bar then. Sorry guys, I should have been paying attention”

Logan shook his head and reached over to nudge Leo’s shoulder. “Not your fault, Nut, none of us were paying attention.”

“Plus,” Finn added cheerfully, “now we get to add ‘closing down a coffee shop’ to our list of accomplishments as a trio. We already had the bar checked off, so no loss.”

Leo met Logan’s gaze across the table, blue eyes twinkling. “We’ve started a list?”

“Yes.” Finn stated, his voice confident. “We have. Which means we now need to make a plan to cross off the next item on it.”

“Okay,” Logan conceded, leaning his elbows on the table, fingers steepled, “I’ll bite. What’s next on the list?”

Finn looked at him, aghast. “Logan. That is not how the list works. The list is clearly unlabeled. We must first have the adventure, and then name it.”

Logan regarded him for a long moment. He had to give him credit, Finn could hold a straight face when he wanted to. But eventually, a twitch from the corner of his mouth gave him away and Logan dropped his arms and leaned back in his chair, laughing. “You are full of shit.”

Finn grinned in return, all hints of seriousness disappearing as he stood to grab his coat. “Maybe. But either way, we should get together again soon.”

“For sure, drop your schedule in the group chat. I’d love to see you play again, and I’m sure Logan would too.” Leo said as he led them to the door.

Finn’s face lit up at that, and Logan smiled softly at how adorable it was. He felt light and happy as they said their goodbyes, and when he saw Finn’s schedule dropped into their group chat on his cab ride home, he found himself already looking forward to when the three of them could do this again.

[supergay-supergirl]

my official definitive supergirl half-season rankings (as of 2/17/22)

top 3 here, 4-12 under the cut

1. 3A

literally so good. banger after banger. kara depression episode, kara ptsd episode, kara religion and identity episode, high school episode... really everything about kara in general. sam arias my beloved. and the writing is just so good. putting it just barely above 4B because kara's character is exceptionally strong.

9/10 because they hadn't quite figured out lena's character yet

best episodes: 3x01 (girl of steel), 3x04 (the faithful), 3x06 (midvale), 3x09 (reign)

2. 4B

ALSO banger after banger!! every single episode starting with 4x13 (except for the flashback episode) absolutely slaps. the action is creative and dramatic. both manchester black and ben lockwood are such good characters and they contrast each other to discuss some really cool ideas. best dramatic twist to alex and kara. of course american dreamer my beloved. and lena's character really hit its peak in 4b, give this girl a break but also don't because it's amazing

9/10 because although the writing was great, I felt like they didn't quiiiite attain the emotional depth of previous seasons

best episodes: literally all of them. but perhaps 4x08 (bunker hill), 4x14 (stand and deliver), 4x19 (american dreamer), 4x21 and 4x22 (red dawn and the quest for peace)

3. 1A

1A absolutely slapped for similar reasons to 3A: kara hit these emotional points that are rarely hit on tv, and even if they are, they're not done as well. she doesn't get a superhero origin story, she gets an "unpacking the trauma from my real origin story" story and i'm here for it. red faced my beloved

8/10 because the villains and action are both boring as hell

best episodes: 1x06 (red faced), 1x07 (human for a day)

4. 4A

the writing is so good. the themes are so good. it honestly would not be ranked this high if the writing was worse but it's pitch perfect and I love it. my one comment which you're going to be seeing a lot of is that kara's character arc took a bit of a backseat starting in this season, which I think was a wasted opportunity.

8/10 because it's not exactly special but it's so so good

best episodes: 4x04 (ahimsa), 4x06 (call to action)

5. 5B

I am surprised that I like this as much as I do because I generally don't rank season 5 very high but !! yeah!! the themes were really strong and the emotions were great, especially for alex and lena. reality bytes my beloved. the finale was kind of not good but they get a little slack bc covid.

7/10 because I hated the plot actually. did not understand a single plot point of this entire season.

best episodes: 5x10 (the bottle episode), 5x15 (reality bytes), 5x16 (alex in wonderland)

6. 2B

ok 2B was kind of generic and I didn't really like rhea. but it also had a lot of great episodes like homecoming and exodus and alex! everything with alex and jeremiah was great. and then the second half of the finale alone brings this season up like 2 entire points. small world. mon-el. I cry

7/10 because sometimes it was annoying

best episodes: 2x13 (mr. and mrs. mxyzptlk), 2x14 (homecoming), 2x15 (exodus), 2x19 (alex)

7. 3B

season 3 really was the season of emotions wasn't it? sam arias my beloved x2, she had a lot of incredibly raw moments and was just amazing in general. and I loved all the stuff on argo city! my two complaints are that the writing wasn't quite as good and I also hated the plot. and the lighting. and the legion. imra why

7/10 because the plot gradually dissolved into chaos

best episodes: 2x16 (of two minds), 2x17 (trinity), 2x20 and 2x21 (dark side of the moon and not kansas)

8. 1B

very solid first season of supergirl. it just didn't quite hit for me. I didn't really like any of the characters except for kara james and cat. also the villains were boring. also non and indigo were extremely underwhelming big bads after astra. however blood bonds falling and the hope speech in better angels will give me chills forever.

6/10 because it was good I just didn't care

best episodes: 1x09 (blood bonds), 1x16 (falling), 1x18 (world's finest)

9. 6A

season 6 will always be a sore topic for me because it could have been so good if the writing was just better. each character went to depths they never had before, except for lena who gained emotional stability for the first time ever. I wish they had let those depths persist for more than an episode or two. I wish they had pulled out stronger themes. and I think a lot of these issues had to do with the fact that kara is the keystone of the show and she was barely there, which isn't their fault. however the writing was still meh and the filming itself felt weird, potentially because the tower is so teal?

6/10 because prom night and prom again were fantastic

best episodes: 6x03 (phantom menaces), 6x05 and 6x06 (prom night and prom again!)

10. 6B

once again I wish I could give this a higher ranking but it just... hhh... there was too much plot and too little character and the writing was kind of bad. they touched on something really interesting with kara but never lingered on it long enough to make as strong a point as they could have. nxyly was cool, lex was off-putting, seven totems is way too many and the tower was still a terrible color.

6/10 for blind spots and the nal sisters

best episodes: 6x08 (welcome back, kara!), 6x12 (blind spots), 6x13 (the gauntlet), 6x16 (nightmare in national city)

11. 2A

yeahhh it was fine I just didn't care. nothing was really happening with kara's character. mon-el was still in his annoying phase. I didn't really get the plot.

5/10 for one of the best coming out scenes I've ever witnessed

best episodes: 2x01 (the adventures of supergirl), 2x06 (changing)

12. 5A

mm I didn't like it... the plot was confusing and the writing wasn't that good. lena's character was great though. and confidence women was perfect.

4/10 because I was confused the whole time and not in a good way

best episodes: 5x01 (event horizon), 5x06 (confidence women)

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 121

Insert Winter Holiday is here, again!

I’m queuing this ahead of time, and I originally had a really cute message about the end of the year. Then, I realized what year this is and said “Yeah, nope. Not jinxing it, will not have the actual end of the world be my fault.”

I am going to leave it at this: thank you to @baelpenrose, @raven-fae, and @charlylimph-blog for all your help with this story in 2020. Thank you to every single one of you who bombed by notes this year when you found The Miys. Thank you @janeshadow for talking me into getting off my rump and making the story easier to navigate.

Standing to my feet after putting the last dish in the oven, I couldn’t help but smile as I looked around my quarters. Despite the fact that we had forgone a tree this year for Insert Winter Holiday, there was a definite festive feeling as everyone packed themselves in as much as possible. Derek had clearly found my lights again, as they circled every public space in my quarters, including the kitchen.  Furniture was pushed as far against the walls as possible, and everyone had been advised to bring their own cushion to sit on.

In the two celebrations since waking up on the Ark, dinner and gifts had largely been a smaller, more typical dinner-style affair.  However, without my noticing, my family had grown exponentially since then, and this year finger foods passed from hand to hand as everyone relaxed and chatted. Charly, Tyche, and I took turns in the kitchen, with Hannah waving us all three to sit while she checked on something in the oven so that we could rest and enjoy ourselves, too.

“Where’s Derek?” Charly asked as she approached me to take her shift watching the last batch of food bake.

“He isn’t great with crowds, so he and Sam already came for lunch and to exchange gifts,” I explained, stroking the scarf they had given me. “They already left and took Mac with them.”

“Aww, they’re hogging the Christmas Cat… No fair!” she pouted comically.

“Eh, Mac’s not a fan of crowds either. Besides, I’m pretty sure someone gave him cheese - again - so I’d rather the little gas bomb not be here tonight.”

“Fair enough,” she laughed before popping me with a tea towel. “Go! Your turn to socialize and cuddle!”

I held up my hands in defeat before carefully picking my way around people. Coffey was gracious enough to take my hand and guide me around him and over to where Conor and Maverick were guarding the astonishingly huge pile of gifts. Arthur was nearby, arguing with Conor and trying to drag Simon into it every chance he could. The topic sounded like a rehash of the one regarding fortifications, only this time it was Fortification Redux: The Plant Edition. “We’ve already confirmed there are no megafauna on Von!” Arthur exclaimed wearily. “Not even vegetarians. Why would we need fortifications?”

I could tell Conor was just provoking him when he lazily waved a hand. “It’s psychological, to make people feel safe. Besides, agriculturally, it serves as double duty.”

“He has a point,” Simon conceded, wincing when Arthur turned a playful squint his direction. “He does!”

“Whatever,” Arthur surrendered with a mock-sulk. “Sophia…”

“You know where I stand on this argument, don’t even try it,” I laughed as I dropped in between my partners.

“You wound me! I was going to offer to whip up some goulash, but now I don’t think I will since someone thinks she should accuse me of such atrocious crimes.”

I rolled my eyes at his theatrics. “Whip up whatever you want, I’m done with kitchen duty, and so is Tyche. Charly’s on her last lap.”

“I sincerely doubt that,” Maverick laughed, catching Coffey’s careful eye on his beloved bundle of energy.

Arthur practically leapt to his feet. “That decides it. I am so offended by Sophia’s accusations that I am going to share the kitchen with Miss Chaos Incarnate and leave you all to wonder what wound up in the food.”

Tyche tipped her head back to scowl at him from where she was draped across Antoine’s lap. “If I find a single eyeball…”

Muttering something suspiciously close to “Dammit”, Arthur prowled across the room as though the entire floor wasn’t draped in legs and people.

I opened my mouth to whine about how he could do that, only to be cut off when a piece of pastry was stuffed in my mouth. Grievances forgotten, my eyebrows shot up as I chewed. “Tyche! When did you make donuts!?”

“It may have involved time travel,” she waggled her fingers at me. “But no blood magic or ritual sacrifices, swear.”

I could see Antoine shake his head before responding over his shoulder. “She made them this morning.”

“Spoilsport.”

“Travelling forward through time is still time travel, mon coeur.” He tapped the tip of her nose with one finger, eliciting an expression from her that promised swift and painful retribution.

A soft rustle of fabric caught my attention, and I turned to see a pile of purple and jade-green silk land beside me before a long, dark braid came into view. “The donuts are quite delightful,” Parvati declared as she yanked Xiomara down beside her in a graceless heap. Grabbing a dark brown one from the plate, she popped it in her lover’s mouth just as Xiomara was about to complain. “That one is a Black Forest, I believe. You’ll love it.”

“Careful on those,” Conor warned. “I think they’re half booze.”

“I only soaked the cherries in kirsch,” Tyche corrected. “Not the whole thing.”

“So yeah, half booze,” I corrected.

Giving her most fearsome scowl, Xio snatched the rest of the Black Forest donuts off the plate and balanced them in one hand.

A squeal of laughter interrupted our shenanigans, and we whipped our heads around in time to see Hannah holding a plate of mini-Wellingtons over her head without even looking, while Charly struggled to get up from where she was sprawled across both the other woman’s lap and Coffey’s.  Zach stared at Hannah like he just saw his first sunset, and Maverick snorted behind me.

“He is such a goner over her,” I heard him say, followed by a light smack.

“Because I have certainly never seen you look at Conor or Sophia in such a way,” Parvati added lightly. “And obviously not when Conor is baby-talking to the plants around the ship, or when Sophia is so busy working she will eat whatever is handed to her.”

He buried his face in the back of my hair before squeaking. “Nope. Never!”

I twisted around so I could see them both. “Wait. When did this happen?”

“Three times a week, in your office,” Tyche interjected in a bored tone. “And pretty religiously.”

I felt my face heat up. “Does everyone know about this except me.”

Xiomara nodded furiously, cheeks plumped out and a suspicious number of donuts missing from the pile in her hand. Parvati shook her head at the antics and smiled gently. “Someone needs to make sure you eat… He brings you gyoza, and you don’t even notice. It’s quite adorable.”

Conor laughed. “She’s got you there, love.”

Eyes flashed as four heads snapped around to him. “Oh, don’t think you’re off the hook, mister!” Charly scolded at him. “He does the same thing to you. Those little pasties you like so much, with the potato and onion.”

Maverick groaned his embarrassment into my shoulder, while Conor’s smile faltered. “I would remember that,” he insisted.

“Not even once,” Charly confirmed.

Rather than being embarrassed, Conor just laughed again and reached to drag us both over to him. “I don’t know how someone so tall can be so sneaky, but I won’t argue.”

That moment was when Arthur decided to return, a trail of slurps in his wake as he handed out goulash. “No eyeballs,” he sighed dejectedly as he handed one to Tyche.

“You guys are no fun,” Charly muttered as she took her own bowl.

Poor Simon eyed the offering hesitantly. Arthur gently wiggled the bowl at him. “I promise, you’ll like it.”

Carefully, as though it would explode at any moment, Simon took the dish and managed a small bite.  After a few seconds - presumably to confirm there was no trick - he chewed and immediately started bolting it down at a rapid pace. “I thought it would be spicier,” he admitted as he snaked a hand out to grab another.

“That would be the paprika.  Really red, not really spicy.”

Maverick laughed as he took a bowl, but poked it with his fork before wrinkling his nose. “Sorry, Arthur, not happening.” No sooner had the words left his mouth than Simon’s hand darted out again, eliciting laughter from everyone.

Arthur shrugged, well aware of Maverick’s food aversions by this point. “It’s not for everyone. You keep your tofu, I’ll keep my goulash.”

Not long after that, the last of the food was gone and dishes were cleared. Hot drinks were handed out by Zach and Conor, and then it was finally time to exchange gifts. Baked goods from Tyche made the rounds, along with beautiful accessories from Parvati, carefully curated books from Alistair, plants from Conor and Sam, and more.

At one point, Arthur was staring at his gift from Charly like it would bite him. “It’s… a pen?”

She nodded, producing a small jar of black ink from somewhere. “A fountain pen, with black India ink. I made them both myself.”

Arching an eyebrow, he brought the pen closer to examine the engravings. “An otter… with a sword?”

“With a saber,” she corrected. “I tried to make it look like yours, but do you know how hard you make it to get a good look at that thing!?”

“It’s literally on display in my office when I’m not practicing with it.”

“And how am I supposed to get in there when you aren’t? You booby-trapped the door!”

“Wonder why….” he mused with a small smile. “This is very intricate,” he finally admitted.

“Consider it an apology for the other ones.”

“Oh!” I realized.  “Give me just a second, everyone.”  Scrambling, and with nowhere near Arthur or Tyche’s grace, I managed to make it to our bedroom to grab an armful of boxes. Once I was back at the doorway, I peeked around the stack and smiled. “These are from Derek, with a little bit of help from Hannah.”  Checking names, I distributed the boxes before making my way back to my spot.

“This is… It’s so soft!” Parvati exclaimed. “And the colors are beautiful!”

I smiled as I rubbed the scarf I wore. “He wanted to show his appreciation for how welcome he feels, even if he was overwhelmed at the idea of being here.”

Hannah nodded as she brushed her scarf against her cheek. “We worked on these for months, but I didn’t realize he found time to make one for me… All the colors and patterns are different for each person, by the way. They’re meant to show us how he thinks of us.”

Conor held up the green and orange fabric that his box revealed. “I love it, but I’m confused.”

She rolled her eyes, and tapped her own scarf. “This goldish-brown is my eyes, and this olive green are the clothes I usually wear.”

Coffey’s laughter rang through the room as he unfolded his to see a pattern like Neapolitan ice cream: Rich brown, bright pink, with white swirled throughout. “I think he nailed it.”

Antoine’s head tilted until it almost met his shoulder. “Our eyes… Every single scarf has the color of our eyes in it.  That must have been so hard for him to do.” I could see what he meant - Derek did not look people in the eyes, as a rule.

“He wants us to know that he sees us, and that he likes that we see him,” Zach shrugged. When we all stared at him, he just blinked. “What? You don’t work with him as much as I do without figuring those things out.”

Without exception, everyone wrapped their gifts from Derek around themselves before the next set of gifts were handed out. “These are from me,” Arthur explained. “Hopefully I got it right.”

Like Alistair, Arthur had gifted everyone a book, but rather than a book that furthered a current interest, he had sought out historical insights into extremely niche topics for everyone. Some made pretty obvious sense - a book on the historical events leading to and the impacts of the Harlem Renaissance for me, a book on the evolution of law in various cultures for Xiomara - but some were far less obvious.

“A book on Roman law?” Charly asked, confused.

He reached over and tapped on the cover. “Specifically, this is about how much of Roman law was the result of litigation, with some pretty hysterical results. I think you’ll get a huge kick out of it.”

She cracked the book open to a random page and looked at it. “If you weren’t home when you were subpoenaed as a witness, you didn’t have to testify, but if you didn’t the person could stand outside your house and - “ she snorted before continuing in a fit of giggles. “Yell at you… for no more than three…. Three hours a day, three days a week - “ another snort “for up to a year!” She wiped a tear from her eye and surrendered to her giggles. “Oh that’s amazing! Thank you!”

Charly wasn’t the only one laughing. Even Xiomara was snickering. “That is an incredibly specific law.”

“Absurd laws are best laws,” he shrugged.

Eventually, all the gifts were distributed, but nobody was in a rush to leave. Instead, we lounged around, quietly catching up and talking about our plans for the upcoming ‘year’. At some point, Insert Winter Holiday had, unanimously and without fanfare, become the end of the year celebration on the Ark, even as far as the Council made plans. With that in mind, we were taking a chance to celebrate our continued survival for yet another cycle, and tried to look forward with optimism toward the next one.

I just let the feelings sink into me, enjoying the presence of the people who moved into my life.  Had I been asked fifteen years ago where I saw myself in the future, ‘on a spaceship, as the last of the human race, about to colonize another world’ would have been nowhere on that list.  But here I was, with a larger family than I had ever dreamed.

Despite all that we had been through, I couldn’t wait to see what the future would bring.

 (A/N: Keep your eyes out for an announcement on New Year’s Eve!)

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[grell-writes-stuff]

Interlude Playlist + Lyrics

My Interlude Playlist (plus lyrics that might make @fenfaerie cry)

Feel free to suggest others that capture the mood/vibe/feeling/whathaveyou

Listen On Spotify

All I Want – A Day To Remember

I'm always screaming my lungs out 'til my head starts spinning Playing my songs is the way I cope with life Won't keep my voice down Know the words I speak are the thoughts I think out loud

All Signs Point to Lauderdale – A Day To Remember

Remember when I tried I never strayed to far from you Forever by your side No matter what I was going through

This Could Be Anywhere in the World – Alexisonfire

Every breath I take I feel my lungs seal This breeze feels more like shards of glass I'm more scars than skin

Rough Hands – Alexisonfire

Was I left behind? Someone tell me, tell me I survived And don't look so surprised that I'm home, but just for tonight With rough hands and sore eyes So don't speak, I am tired Let's just live through this lie

Heroes – All Time Low

You're not a hero, you're a liar You're not a savior, you're a vampire Sucking the life out of all the friends you've ever known

Somewhere in Neverland – All Time Low

Tell me how you feel over and done with Like your life is a map with no compass to guide

The Irony of Choking on a Lifesaver – All Time Low

You're the snake hidden in my daffodils when I'm picking flowers That's just my luck these days Why can't you just be happy for me? You're the brake lights failing as my car swerves off the freeway It kind of feels like sabotage Why can't you just be happy for Why can't you just be happy for me?

Canals – All Time Low

Smile, tell me I'm alright With a goodbye You are so misleading A kiss or a gun fight High-noon or midnight Darling, I don't want to know If I'm just a short sight on a cold night The canals are freezing So tell me I'm alright with a goodbye

Oh, Calamity! – All Time Low

I'll remember nights alone And waking up to dial tones Always found my greatest moments In the sound of your hello's Now I struggle to recall The reasons you would come to leave

Nightmares – All Time Low

Now there's a ghost in the back of this room And I don't like it I fall asleep with my covers pulled up And try to fight it I gotta say, it's hard to be brave When you're alone in the dark I told myself that I wouldn't be scared But I'm still having nightmares

Therapy – All Time Low

My ship went down In a sea of sound. When I woke up alone I had everything: A handful of moments I wished I could change And a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade.

For What It’s Worth – Amber Pacific

Though I wish that you were breathing I still just can't believe You're gone

Postcards – Amber Pacific

When I'm without you I'm not the man that I know I can be Because you're not here with me

Red Flag – Billy Talent

The kids of tomorrow don't need today When they live in the sins of yesterday

Wishful Sinking – blessthefall

So just breathe slow, caught in the undertow And I'm fighting the current Holding my ground if you can't let go The pressure will hold you down

Sleepless in Phoenix – blessthefall

'Cause I carry ghosts of the things you've said But you won't come home even if you're dead

Hey Baby, Here’s That Song You Wanted – blessthefall

I keep putting together, what we've lost But pieces keep falling one by one Cause this life has us holding on For tomorrow then it's gone

It’s My Life – Bon Jovi

It's my life And it's now or never I ain't gonna live forever I just want to live while I'm alive

Blood On Blood – Bon Jovi

Through the years and miles between us It's been a long and lonely ride But if I got a call in the dead of the night I'd be right by your side

Livin’ On A Prayer – Bon Jovi

We've gotta hold on to what we've got It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not We've got each other and that's a lot

Practice Makes Perfect – Cute Is What We Aim For

I've become what a mother wouldn't want in a son And I have done a few things I regret I've become what a mother wouldn't want in a son And I have done what a mother wouldn't want What a mother wouldn't want in a son

Newport Living – Cute Is What We Aim For

Now just look at that social clique Do you really wanna be a part of it? Let's not let us forget Where she gets the habit She gets the pills from her skills She gets the skills from the pills And just look at that clique Do you really wanna be the star of it?

There’s a Class for This – Cute Is What We Aim For

Drama doesn't follow me it rides on my back

The Curse of Curves – Cute Is What We Aim For

I want someone provocative and talkative But it's so hard when you're shallow as a shower

Hysteria – Def Leppard

I gotta know tonight If you're alone tonight Can't stop this feeling Can't stop this fire

Tell Me I’m A Wreck – Every Avenue

When you tell me I'm a wreck You say that I'm a mess How could you expect anything less?

Irresistible – Fall Out Boy

You're second hand smoke, second hand smoke I breathe you in, but, honey, I don't know what you're doing to me Mon chéri, but the truth catches up with us eventually Try to say live, live and let live But I'm no good, good at lip service Except when they're yours, mi amor I'm coming for you and I'm making war

Beat It – Fall Out Boy, John Mayer (Michael Jackson Cover)

You got to show them that you're really not scared You're playin' with your life, this ain't no truth or dare They'll kick you, then they'll beat you, Then they'll tell you it's fair

I Don’t Care – Fall Out Boy

I don't care what you think as long as it's about me The best of us can find happiness in misery

w.a.m.s. – Fall Out Boy

I'm gonna leave you I'm gonna teach you How we're all alone

West Coast Smoker – Fall Out Boy

Oh hell yes I'm a nervous wreck

Hum Hallelujah – Fall Out Boy

And one day we'll get nostalgic for disaster we're a bull, your ears are just a china shop I love you in the same way, there's a chapel in a hospital One foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door Sometimes we take chances, sometimes we take pills. I could write it better than you ever felt it.

Golden – Fall Out Boy

Tongues on the sockets of electric dreams Where the sewage of youth drowned the spark of my teens And I knew that the lights of the city were too heavy for me

Bang The Doldrums – Fall Out Boy

I wrote a goodbye note in lipstick on your arm When you passed out I couldn't bring myself to call Except to call it quits

Sunshine Riptide – Fall Out Boy

The sign says “don't tap the glass” But I read it in reverse, “ssalg eht pat t'nod syas ngis ehT”

The Last Of The Real Ones – Fall Out Boy

I wonder if your therapist knows everything about me

Red Sam – Flyleaf

You are the truth (you are the truth) Outscreaming these lies You are the truth (you are the truth) Saving my life

The Anthem – Good Charlotte

I'm gonna get by and just do my time Out of step, while they all get in line I'm just a minor threat, so pay no mind

Wondering – Good Charlotte

If you want me to wait, I will wait for you If you tell me to stay, I would stay right through If you don't wanna say, Anything at all I'm happy wondering

Girls & Boys – Good Charlotte

She'll get what she wants if she's willing to please This type of girl always comes with a fee Hey now, there's nothing for free

Hold On – Good Charlotte

But we all bleed the same way as you do And we all have the same things to go through

The Day That I Die – Good Charlotte

Can you feel the cold tonight? It sets in, but it's alright Darkness falls, I'm letting go All alone, but I feel fine

The Young & the Hopeless – Good Charlotte

And if I make it through the day Will tomorrow be the same? Am I just running in place? And if I stumble and I fall Should I get up and carry on? Will it all just be the same?

Movin’ On – Good Charlotte

Life, hope, truth, trust, faith, pride, love, lust Pain, hate, lies, guilt, laugh, cry, live, die. Some friends become enemies some friends become your family. Make the best with what you're given. This ain't dying, this is living!

Jesus of Suburbia – Green Day

It says home is where your heart is But what a shame 'Cause everyone's heart Doesn't beat the same It's beating out of time

Holiday / Boulevard of Broken Dreams – Green Day

I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies This is the dawning of the rest of our lives /  

/ Read between the lines Of what's fucked up and everything's alright Check my vital signs To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

Basket Case – Green Day

Do you have the time to listen to me whine About nothing and everything all at once I am one of those Melodramatic fools Neurotic to the bone No doubt about it

Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) – Green Day

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial For what it's worth it was worth all the while

Still Breathing – Green Day

As I walked out on the ledge Are you scared to death to live? I've been running all my life Just to find a home that's for the restless And the truth that's in the message Making my way, away, away

Silver Bullet – Hawthorne Heights

Being Alone, Just like them, Being Alive, Feeling so... Dead.

Ohio Is for Lovers – Hawthorne Heights

Because you kill me. You know you do, you kill me well. You like it too, and I can tell. You never stop until my final breath is gone.

How You Love Me Now – Hey Monday

Tell me how can you sleep? How can you breathe? Baby tell me how How you love me now

The Distance – Hot Chelle Rae

It's like you're living with a ghost Someone you can't hold And you say it's so unfair

Alright – Hot Chelle Rae

In the dark you come to life The memories of you and I I want to keep you here with me Don't wake me up just let me dream

Blank Space – I Prevail

'Cause, darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream

My Heart I Surrender – I Prevail

Will our stars ever align? Will two hearts, beat in time? These words you should always remember, To you, my heart I surrender.

Sweetness – Jimmy Eat World

So tell me what do I need (tell me what do I need) When words lose their meaning (When words lose their meaning)

Jamie All Over – Mayday Parade

And please don't tell me that I'm dreaming When all I ever wanted was to dream another sunset with you

Jersey – Mayday Parade

I'll be fine, I swear I'm just gone beyond repair

Oh Well, Oh Well – Mayday Parade

And I'll just smile, and make believe I don't feel a thing. That doesn't work for me.

Kiss Me, Kill Me – Mest

A tragedy that's built on destiny It left you with everything but Blood from the knife that I cut your heart out with Now relax, close your eyes, what comes next is the surprise

Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na) – My Chemical Romance

Everybody wants to change the world Everybody wants to change the world But no one, no one wants to die

Bulletproof Heart – My Chemical Romance

And though I know how much you hate this Are you gonna be the one to save us From the black and hopeless feeling? Will you mean it when the end comes reeling?

SING – My Chemical Romance

Every time that you lose it sing it for the world Sing it from the heart Sing it till you're nuts Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts Sing it for the deaf Sing it for the blind Sing about everyone that you left behind Sing it for the world

Planetary (GO!) – My Chemical Romance

If my velocity starts to make you sweat Then just don't let go 'Cause the emergency room got no vacancy Tell me who do you trust, Do you trust And we just Get up and go!

Kill All Your Friends – My Chemical Romance

'Cause we all wanna party when the funeral ends. And we all get together when we bury our friends. It's been ten fucking years since I've been seeing Your face 'round here. And you're walking away, and I will drown in the fear.

Demolition Lovers – My Chemical Romance

I'm trying, I'm trying To let you know just how much you mean to me And after all the things we put each other through

Desert Song – My Chemical Romance

Well tonight, well tonight Will it ever come? Spend the rest of your days rocking out Just for the dead

The Kids from Yesterday – My Chemical Romance

'Cause you only live forever in the lights you make When we were young, we used to say That you only hear the music when your heart begins to break Now we are the kids from yesterday

AMBULANCE – My Chemical Romance

And if you save my life I’ll be the one who drives you home tonight And if I ever let you down I’ll be the one who drives you home tonight

The End. – My Chemical Romance

I'd encourage your smiles I'll expect you won't cry

Dead! – My Chemical Romance

If life ain't just a joke Then why are we laughing?

This Is How I Disappear – My Chemical Romance

Can you hear me cry out to you? Words I thought I'd choke on, figure out

The Sharpest Lives – My Chemical Romance

You're the one that I need I'm the one that you loathe You can watch me corrode like a beast in repose 'Cause I love all the poison

Welcome to the Black Parade – My Chemical Romance

And though you're dead and gone believe me Your memory will carry on We'll carry on And though you're broken and defeated Your weary widow marches on

Sleep – My Chemical Romance

And through it all How could you cry for me? Cause I don't feel bad about it. So shut your eyes, Kiss me goodbye, And sleep. Just sleep.

Teenagers – My Chemical Romance

They're gonna rip up your heads, Your aspirations to shreds Another cog in the murder machine

Disenchanted – My Chemical Romance

It was the roar of the crowd That gave me heartache to sing. It was a lie when they smiled And said, "You won't feel a thing."

Famous Last Words – My Chemical Romance

I see you lying next to me With words I thought I'd never speak Awake and unafraid Asleep or dead

Helena – My Chemical Romance

Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate The lives of everyone you know And what's the worst you take (worst you take) From every heart you break (heart you break) And like the blade you stain (blade you stain) Well, I've been holding on tonight

To The End – My Chemical Romance

She keeps a picture of the body she lends. Got nasty blisters from the money she spends. She's got a life of her own and it shows by the Benz She drives at 90 by the Barbies and Kens.

I’m Not Okay (I Promise) – My Chemical Romance

But you really need to listen to me Because I'm telling you the truth I mean this, I'm okay! (Trust Me) I'm not okay I'm not okay Well, I'm not okay I'm not o-fucking-kay

Cemetery Drive – My Chemical Romance

When will I miss you, when will I miss you so far

Heaven Help Us – My Chemical Romance

But can't tell if I've been breathing or sleeping Or screaming or waiting for the man to call And maybe all of the above Cause mostly I've been sprawled on these cathedral steps While spitting out the blood and screaming "Someone save us!"

Camisado – Panic! At The Disco

You're a regular decorated emergency

LA Devotee – Panic! At The Disco

You got two black eyes from loving too hard And a black car that matches your blackest soul I wouldn't change ya, oh Wouldn't ever try to make you leave, no

Dying in LA – Panic! At The Disco

Drink of paradise They told you put your blood on ice You're not gonna make it Every face along the boulevard is a dreamer just like you You looked at death in a tarot card and you saw what you had to do

Let’s Kill Tonight – Panic! At The Disco

May your feet serve you well And the rest be sent to Hell Where they always have belonged Cold hearts brew colder songs

Memories – Panic! At The Disco

Oh Memories Where'd you go? You were all I've ever known How I miss yesterday How I let it fade away?

Trade Mistakes – Panic! At The Disco

So, let me save you Hold this rope and I'll pull you in 'Cause I am an anchor Save her or feel it sinking in

The Calendar – Panic! At The Disco

There is simply nothing worse Than knowing how it ends And I meant everything I said that night I will come back to life But only for you Only for you

Hard Times – Paramore

All that I want Is to wake up fine

Rose-Colored Boy – Paramore

And I want you to stop insisting that I'm not a lost cause 'Cause I've been through a lot Really all I've got is just to stay pissed off If it's alright by you

Told You So – Paramore

For all I know The best is over and the worst is yet to come Is it enough? To keep on hoping when the rest have given up?

Fake Happy – Paramore

Oh please don't ask me how I've been Don't make me play pretend

Pressure – Paramore

Just don't let me fall asleep Feeling empty again Cause I fear I might break and I fear I can't take it Tonight I'll lie awake feeling empty

Emergency – Paramore

I've seen you cry Way too many times When you deserve to be alive

Ignorance – Paramore

Don't wanna hear your sad songs I don't wanna feel your pain When you swear it's all my fault 'Cause you know we're not the same

Ain’t It Fun – Paramore

If it don't hurt now then just wait, just wait a while

Last Hope – Paramore

And the salt in my wounds isn't burning any more than it used to It's not that I don't feel the pain, it's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore And the blood in these veins isn't pumping any less than it ever has And that's the hope I have, the only thing I know that's keeping me alive

Still into You – Paramore

Let 'em wonder how we got this far

That’s What You Get – Paramore

It's your turn, so take a seat we're settling the final score And why do we like to hurt so much?

Misery Business – Paramore

Second chances they don't ever matter, people never change. Once a whore you're nothing more, I'm sorry, that'll never change.

Let the Flames Begin – Paramore

What a shame we all became such fragile, broken things

crushcrushcrush – Paramore

If you want to play it like a game Well, come on, come on, let's play

Fences – Paramore

And it's obvious that you're dying, dying Just living proof that the camera's lying And oh, oh open wide 'Cause this is your night, so smile 'Cause you'll go out in style

Be My Escape – Relient K

I fought you for so long I should have let you win Oh how we regret those things we do And all I was trying to do Was save my own skin But so were you So were you

High of 75 – Relient K

And its funny how you find You enjoy your life When you're happy to be... Alive

Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been – Relient K

And I was positive that unless I got myself together, I would watch me fall apart. And I can't let that happen again 'cause then you'll see my heart In the saddest state it's ever been.

Savior – Rise Against

That's when she said, "I don't hate you, boy. I just want to save you while there's still something left to save." That's when I told her, "I love you, girl, But I'm not the answer for the questions that you still have."

Changing – Saosin

One last breath to say goodbye I tell myself another lie Stripped of all I hold so dear The moment's lost and I am sinking down lower I drown myself in the water And I am watching my life pass before my eyes It comes as no surprise

I’d Do Anything – Simple Plan

And I wrote this letter in my head Cuz so many things were left unsaid But now you're gone And I can't think straight

Fat Lip – Sum 41

I don't want to waste my time Become another casualty of society.

Meant to Live – Switchfoot

We were meant to live for so much more Have we lost ourselves? Somewhere we live inside

Twin Size Mattress – The Front Bottoms

This is for the lake that me and my friends swim in, naked and dumb on a drunken night And it should've felt good but I can hear the Jaws theme song on repeat in the back of my mind Make sure you kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face There are lessons to be learned, consequences for all the stupid things I say And it is no big surprise you turned out this way The spark in your eyes, The look on your face

Bob (Cousin O.) – The Gits

Awaken to the only chance I've got Hide behind these walls, I look through the cracks I see the same mistakes that I once made All that I can tell you there is a price to pay

Absynthe – The Gits

Do you ever think when you're dealing with the worst The outcome is the best thing for you

Another Shot of Whiskey – The Gits

It's like a sword of hate You brandish it so proud I wonder if you're taught what you feel Or is it the way you got it cold dead in your eye?

Second Skin – The Gits

I need a second skin Something to hold me up Can't do it on my own Sometimes I need just a little more help I've got that chance to give every drop that's left in me I need a second skin Something I cannot break out of

Mr. Brightside – The Killers

I'm coming out of my cage And I've been doing just fine Gotta gotta be down Because I want it all

You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid – The Offspring

There's something in your way And now someone is gonna pay And if you can't get what you want Well it's all because of me

Neon Gravestones – Twenty One Pilots

Promise me this If I lose to myself You won't mourn a day And you'll move onto someone else

The Hype – Twenty One Pilots

But you don't get thick skin without getting burnt

Holding on to You – Twenty One Pilots

Fight it, Take the pain, ignite it, Tie a noose around your mind Loose enough to breathe fine and tie it To a tree. Tell it, "You belong to me. This ain't a noose, this is a leash. And I have news for you: you must obey me."

Car Radio – Twenty One Pilots

I ponder of something terrifying 'Cause this time there's no sound to hide behind I find over the course of our human existence One thing consists of consistence And it's that we're all battling fear

Guns for Hands – Twenty One Pilots

I'm trying, I'm trying to sleep

Skyway Avenue – We The Kings

We'll race right off the cliff They will remember this It all got so mundane With you I'm back again Just take me by the hand We're close to the edge

Sad Song – We The Kings (feat. Elena Coats)

Without you, I feel broke Like I'm half of a whole Without you, I've got no hand to hold Without you, I feel torn Like a sail in a storm Without you, I'm just a sad song

Check Yes, Juliet – We The Kings

Run baby run Don't ever look back They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance

Lights And Sounds – Yellowcard

Smile big for everyone, Even when you know what they’ve done. They gave you the end but not where to start; Not how to build, how to tear it apart.

Ocean Avenue – Yellowcard

If I could find you now things would get better We could leave this town and run forever Let your waves crash down on me and take me away

Telescope - Yellowcard

And something took you from me I can't understand why But wherever you're resting I'm carrying your line

[traya-sutton]

February Blues

I love this concept but like, i think i executed it poorly and wrote choppily and could have added more scenes but im posting it so... yeah. 

Happy hannukah Sam! 

Gift for: @timdrakeothy 

Prompt:  Maybe something with Kon

ao3    masterlist

Kon sneezed. A big, earth-quaking, breaking the sound barrier, Dad-like sneeze. So loud it startled Greta out of the air and actually made Bart look up from his video game.

“Was that a gunshot?” Cassie asked as she walked into the room.

Kon scowled at all of his friends. “It wasn’t that loud.”

“You sound like my Dad, mon.” Anita smirked. “You’d fit right in with him and Uncle Ish.”

“Are you getting sick?” Bart asked curiously.

“Don’t be stupid. I can’t get sick. I’m Kryptonian.”

“Superman doesn’t get sick?” Greta asked.

Everyone turned to Robin who was flipping through a magazine. “What?”

“Well, you know Superman best.”

“You’re his clone.”

“Yeah, and I see him at most once a month. And then it’s just ‘Oh hey, Kon, why don’t you take Parasite over to Iron Gates for me?’ or ‘Hey do you mind helping me out with the Terror Twins? I need to get this deadline done by tonight.’”

Everyone turned back to Robin. Robin just shrugged. “I’ve never seen him get sick.”

“Then clearly, I’m not getting sick either.” Kon snapped. Then he sneezed again. Another giant, sea-parting sneeze.

“You’re sick.” His teammates chorused. Even Slobo, who was so rarely willing to participate in other people’s lives.

Kon stuck his tongue out. “’M not sick!” He grumbled then sat next to Bart on the couch.

Bart scooted away from him. Kon gave his friend a look. “What? I don’t want to get sick!”

“I’m not- Oh whatever.” Kon grumbled. Then, he sneezed a third time. This was going to get annoying.

“Where’s Kon? Wendy’s on. He never misses it.” Cissie said with a frown.

“You in this ep?” Cassie asked, taking the popcorn from Slobo despite his arguments. “It’s for everyone.”

Slobo chewed loudly with his mouth open in her direction.

“Yeah. It’s the one where Skye finds out-”

“Shh! Spoilers!” Greta hissed, settling down next to Bart.

“This is ridiculous, he’s going to miss the episode.” Robin grumbled. “I’m going to get him.”

Robin marched through the hotel until he reached Kon’s room. A SuperboyTM brand S sticker pasted onto the door loudly declared it to be Kon’s domain. And right under was a sticker of Wendy herself.

Robin knocked on the door. “C’mon man, show’s starting in a little.”

No answer.

Robin didn’t want to just walk in. Kon hadn’t come out of his room all day, and usually that meant that he wasn’t to be… disturbed. But this was Wendy, and Cissie was right: Kon never missed an episode. So he knocked again. “Dude, open up.”

Still, all that came to him was silence.

Robin gripped the handle, and slowly, but surely, swung open the door.

At first, Robin thought that Kon himself must not be in the room, and then he saw the bundle of blankets on Kon’s bed rise and fall in a breathing pattern and loud snoring. Robin rolled his eyes behind his mask and walked over to the bed. “Kon, get up.”

What was Kon doing sleeping this late? Usually he was up with the-well, with the sun.

Oh. Oh no way. It couldn’t be. Uh-uh.

Robin narrowed his eyes.

He’d hold off judgment on his screw-ball theory. At least, until it gained more proof.

Robin stalked over to the bed and whipped off the covers. Kon was curled up on the bed in Wonder Woman footie-pajamas. His arms wrapped tightly around a Wendy body pillow.

Robin pushed Kon.

“Kon… Wake up...”

Kon made a nonsense noise and blinked his eyes open blearily. The whites of his irises were bloodshot, his tanned face was bright red, and his nose was running. Robin could hear his congested breathing from four feet away.

“You don’t look so good.”

Kon grumbled something that sounded distinctly like a swearword.

“Shut up and sit still.” Robin responded. He sat down and leaned down to Kon’s forehead to kiss it to check for a fever.

Yep. He’s burning up.

When he pulled back, Kon’s gummed up eyes were as wide as they could go. “What’d you do tha’ for?” He slurred.

“It’s how you check for a fever.” Robin told him. “And you’ve got one.”

“’M not sick.” He grumbled. Kon sat up and then grabbed at his head with one hand and at Robin’s shoulder with the other. “Woah. Is the world supposed to be spinning like that?”

“Okay.” Robin said, gently ushering Kon back into a horizontal position on the bed. “You’re going back to bed and I’m going to get you some cold medicine.”

“But I’m a Kryptonian. We don’t get human sicknesses.” Kon protested weakly.

“What? Are ours not good enough for you?” Robin joked.

Kon was too sick to respond in any way other than giving Robin a particular bird. Robin returned it with a sickly sweet smile.

Robin closed the door behind him but as he could hear from where he was, the all-powerful, invincible Superboy has fallen back asleep.

“Take your medicine, Kon.” Anita said, shoving the liquid cough syrup in his face.

“No! It’s gross! And I don’t need it!” Kon grumbled, but his argument was almost incomprehensible because he was so congested. “Because-”

“You’re not sick.” His teammates chorused.

“Honestly, I never thought I’d miss you saying ‘tactile telekinesis’.” Ray said.

“Kon.” Cissie snapped. “Take your medicine or I’ll shove it down your throat.”

“Make me.”

Cissie began to roll up her sleeves. “Cissie, no-!” Greta cried.

Traya rolled her eyes. She climbed up onto the bed next to Kon. He was swaddled in all the blankets they could find in attempt to sweat out the fever, but so far Kon was still sick. She took the medicine from Anita and held out a measured spoonful of it.

“Come on, please Kon.” Traya asked, turning up the puppy dog eyes.

Kon scowled. “Fine.”

“Yes! Everybody pay up!” Slobo crowed.

Kon turned to tell him off but was interrupted as Traya shoved the medicine into his mouth. Kon was about to say something mean and then remembered how young Traya was and stopped himself.

“It tastes icky.” Kon complained once Traya had removed the spoon. But he did definitely sound better already.

Traya read the label. “It says another spoonful in two hours. Has Robin come back with that soup, yet?”

Cassie shook her head. “He said he’d be back in half an hour or so.”

“’M not sick. Don’t want soup.” Kon grumbled, sliding further under the thick covers of his bed. He then hacked out a wet cough, expertly coughed it into a wastebasket next to him.

“Riight.” Cassie said, shaking her head.

Kon yawned. “Sleepy...”

“Come on guys. He’ll only heal if he gets his rest.” Greta said quietly. The team shuffled out, and Ray, the last out the door, turned off the light, letting Kon sink into sleep in the dark.

Kon had been sick for a week. Even the best chicken soup in the world, or so Robin claimed, had done nothing but bring down his fever. Bart assumed he was right because Robin usually was about these things. Lots of research would go into his claims Bart had learned. Still, Kon hacked and coughed like someone who’d been smoking for thirty years. Still, Kon blew his nose and sneezed with sounds like earthquakes and gunshots. Kon couldn’t even leave on missions, he was so weak and tired. But hey, at least his fever had gone down.

And his fever wasn’t the only thing that was down, Kon was too. He moped all the time. Kicking his feet, padding around the hotel in his Wonder Woman pajamas sad and pouting.

It was starting to get on Greta’s nerves. Greta’s.

“It’s all the time! Just moaning and groaning and hacking and coughing! Doesn’t he have anywhere else he can go?” She whined to Robin.

Oh. Oh. Robin’s eyes widened behind his mask. Could it be… It had been a while since he’d thought of his theory behind Kon’s sickness. Could it be…?

No...

“Soo… Kon. How you doing?”

Kon slithered up and poked his head out from under his quilt. He frowned and stuck a singular hand out into the cold air, grabbed a handful of tissues, slithered back under the blankets, blew his nose, and then tossed it out and into the garbage can next to the bed.

Robin whistled appreciatively. “Two points.”

Kon grumbled something that Robin couldn’t understand.

“Kon. Gonna come out and talk to me?”

“No.”

“Well then, I guess I’ll talk to you.” Robin turned and sat on the side of Kon’s bed. He could hear Kon behind him breathing. “I think I know why you’re so sick lately and such a grouch.”

Kon’s head shot out from under his blanket so fast Robin almost fell off of the bed. “Really? So I’m not like, a broken Kryptonian?”

“Just answer my questions.”

“Okay.”

“When was the last time you left the hotel? Like, went out to do something that wasn’t a mission.”

Kon opened his mouth and then closed it. “Does coming here from Cadmus count?”

“No.”

“When I went out to the movies.”

“When did you go out?”

“At like, six at night. In like, Novemeber”

Robin frowned. Six at night in the winter… that was already dark.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“When was the last time you were in Hawaii?”

Kon scratched at his stubble thoughtfully. “October? They’ve got a new hero now, don’t want me.”

“And Cadmus? That’s where you live now, right?”

“I mean yeah, but all I do is stay inside and drink coffee and marathon Wendy VCR collections-”

“You never go outside when you stay there?”

Kon shrugged. “No reason. Don’t have Tana… or Roxy… now it’s just me and Sterling sometimes. And you guys. Nothing else really in my life.”

That’s what Robin had feared. “I think you’ve got severe seasonal depression.”

Kon frowned, squinting at Robin. “What?”

“You’re a Kryptonian, Kon. You guys are like sunshine batteries. Us humans sometimes get seasonal depression in the winter. By not seeing the sun for a while, we get cranky and sad and exhausted—some people even get sick sometimes. For you it must be a hundred times worse. Your battery has run out, making you susceptible to colds and being, well, a bitch.”

“Robin!” Kon gasped in fake offense.

“Kon, you’ve started to irritate even Greta. That’s what I would call ‘being a bitch.’”

“So what’s your prescription, Doc? A tan?”

“Yeah, actually. Kon-El, I’m sentencing you to a week on a sunny beach. I’m sure you’ll have a horrible time.” Robin gave him a small smirk.

“Fine. But you gotta tell Cassie why I’m leaving, she’ll never believe me.” Kon said, sliding back under the covers.

“Deal. But only if I can come along.”

“Deal.”

[bi-careful]

Star-crossed

(Also on ao3) The evening settled quietly, with dimmed lights and gentle greetings, soft kisses and a mouth-watering aroma wafting through the open space as their dinner was almost ready but still waiting in the oven. Kara sat on the couch, legs outstretched and resting atop the coffee table, her laptop in front of her while she typed away her latest piece for CatCo Magazine’s next issue. It was quiet and comfortable, an easy atmosphere to settle in and relax.

Her right hand was busy playing with Mon-El’s hair, brushing and swirling and tugging at strands, as the man in question was slipping in and out of sleep. Earlier, he’d pushed a cushion against her thigh and pulled on the blonde’s fingers until she’d gotten the message and started toying with his dark locks, and he hadn’t uttered a word since then. Kara kept stealing glances at him, checking on him, humming soft melodies every now and then whenever he got twitchy. She didn’t know how he’d managed to fit his giant form in the space she’d left available on the tiny couch, but he’d curled up and he’d found his spot and oddly enough he didn’t look out of place at all. So she let him nap like that, touching and caressing and stroking at his skin, not only because it calmed Mon-El down, but also because Kara herself needed the comfort. She needed the constant reminder that despite everything he was there, he was hers, and the world hadn’t managed to ruin this after all.

“In the second paragraph, the last two lines sound a bit too subjective, you might wanna smooth those out,” Mon-El mumbled, easing out of his slumber with a hoarse voice and a reluctant flatter of his eyelids. He pushed further into the blonde’s touch but otherwise stayed still, enough so that Kara had to look at him to make sure he really had woken up.

“I thought you were asleep,” the Kryptonian replied and stroked Mon-El’s cheek with her thumb. She just couldn’t bring herself to stop touching him it seemed, she craved to feel him, even in the subtlest of ways.

“I was but you tend to read out loud when you edit,” he said, no sign of annoyance in his tone. With a deep inhale Mon-El turned to lie on his back, pressing a soft kiss to Kara’s hand in the process.

“Sorry,” the blonde apologized sheepishly. She looked at her screen one last time before she nodded to herself and closed it shut. Then she placed the laptop aside and focused on her boyfriend who'd turned his blurry gaze toward her. "You hungry?" she asked and tried to stand up. Mon-El held her in place however. Kara raised an eyebrow at him, expressing a question without speaking, and when her boyfriend simply continued to stare at her, she rolled her eyes. "Love you," she mumbled and leaned down to press a quick kiss to his waiting lips. "Come on now, I'm starving," she urged and didn't wait another second, instead rushing to the kitchen with a grumbling stomach.

Mon-El smiled at the sight and lifted himself up in a sitting position. He rubbed his eyes and let a noiseless yawn escape his mouth. His ring sparkled and glistened in the brightly illuminated room, the carved comet on top of it leading his thoughts back to the blonde. It was inevitable. A minute later, when he met her in the kitchen, he took her hand and intertwined their fingers, toying with her -previously his- own Legion ring briefly. Then he kissed Kara's cheek and whispered his response to her previous statement. "Love you too," he said.

Silence filled the space once more. The pair shared shy smiles and quick pecks and stolen glances, they danced around the room as they set the table, and finally they sat down to have dinner. Kara observed Mon-El, a hand resting on his thigh, squeezing occasionally, and she didn’t miss the way his eyes kept wandering, his focus wavering and weak. He offered her more bites than he saved for himself, and although that was a habit the heroine knew Mon-El had had from before, Kara couldn’t help but notice the way he pushed his food around as if he couldn’t even stomach the sight of it.

“Babe?” she called softly, her lips pulled down in a frown.

”Hmm?” came the absentminded response.

“You okay?”

Mon-El’s brows furrowed at the question, his teeth pressing down on his bottom lip. “Of course,” he said, his voice a mere whisper. “Just tired.”

“Are you sure?” Kara tried again.

Mon-El forced a smile upon his face, one he hoped looked convincing enough. "I'm sure," he lied.

"You're not..." the blonde started, a hand lifting to brush her hair away from her face. Her voice faded so she cleared her throat and tried again. "You're not regretting staying here with me, are you?" she finally managed to ask.

"What?" the word escaped Mon-El's mouth before he could stop himself. "Kara, no," he emphasized, reaching for her hand.

Gently, he pulled her to him and Kara willingly followed his lead. She stood and slipped into his lap, her eyes hesitant to meet his own, her lip trapped between her front teeth. "You've been distant," she whispered, fear and insecurity thickening her tone.

"It's not-" Mon-El shook his head at her words. "It's not because of you."

Kara nodded slowly, not believing him but also not knowing what else to think. She'd just gotten him back but instead of overflowing with burning passion and unexplainable relief, she felt like she could barely breathe. It wasn't entirely bad, because for the most part it was his presence that left her breathless—it was his eyes and his touch and his voice and his smile and everything about him she'd missed too much. But still, there was a part of her which stood on edge, walking on eggshells and unable to find contentment.

Only a week had passed, since they'd said their goodbyes, to the ones who didn't belong in the 21st century and the ones who didn't belong on Earth. Only a week had passed, since they'd promised each other a kind of commitment only a desperate kiss had been able to seal, and they'd turned a different page, ready to build something new. It wasn't long, not at all, and their wounds were still fresh, the war still vivid in their minds. But they were pushing through that all, together and reunited at last.

Nevertheless, they still hadn't figured out their rhythm or their rightful place in each other's lives.

Kara continued to watch Mon-El, waiting for him to say more, to give her the answer she was seeking. But most of all she was waiting for him to put her at ease, because she was tired, and she just wanted to fall into him, no guards, no fears, no uncertainty staining their hearts. She wanted to get his full permission that it was about time she could love him again, freely and honestly and without holding back. So she waited, for him, like she'd been used to for the past year.

"I have these memories," Mon-El began, face twisting in confusion, struggling to put his thoughts in order and then into words. "It could be a dream but it feels-" he paused and licked his lips. "It feels too real."

"What kind of memories?" Kara asked quietly, eyes searching Mon-El's, a thumb caressing the skin at the nape of his neck. She wasn't sure if she was trying to sooth him or her own self, but she took a deep breath and awaited his response.

"You're on your knees, Reign has an arm around your neck and you're struggling, and then suddenly she's out of control," he explained, his tone heavy and unsure. "She's screaming and I watch her heat vision pierce through Sam and...and your mom," he gulped and avoided Kara's gaze. His fingers twitched and he wanted to wiggle in his seat, but the blonde sitting in his lap prevented the nervous action. "And then she goes for J'onn and I just...I react and she hits me instead of him. I think that's when I die," he finished.

Kara's brows furrowed in response, her lips twitching and pursing as her tears threatened to escape. "That's not a dream Mon-El," she whispered to him, broken and shaky and every bit as helpless as she'd felt when his dull memories had been real. "It happened, all of it, and I couldn't save you."

"But-" Mon-El tried but he wasn't sure what he wanted to say. "But how?" he wondered instead, hands squeezing Kara's waist on both sides. The tips of his fingers were white but he didn't care, he just wanted to feel her. He couldn't hurt Kara anyway.

"I wasn't smart enough. I wasn't quick enough. And I watched her take you away from me, all of you," Kara said, shivers running up and down her spine and weakening her already feeble resolve. "Sam, my mom, you," she finished with a sob and then clenched her eyes shut. "I lost you," she cried and something in her tone told Mon-El this time the last word was in singular form.

Mon-El blinked, repeatedly, Kara's truth overwhelming him for a second. The blonde fell into his hold, and he let her, squeezing her tightly against him. "I'm alive," he whispered soothingly. "I'm here, I'm alive," he said again, not knowing how else he could steady her trembling form.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I had to save you, I had to go back in time and fix it, I had to," Kara gripped onto him like he was her lifeline. If he were human, she'd have probably broken his ribs already, but Mon-El didn't feel a thing, only her desperation and pain.

He shushed her and prompted her to look at him, Kara's eyes reluctantly meeting his own. "I understand," he told her, "I understand."

The blonde released a shaky breath before Mon-El spoke again.

"All this week, I've been so afraid my dream was some kind of premonition, that Reign would hurt you and I'd be too weak to help, too slow to save you. I thought I was going to lose you," he shared, a weight lifting off his shoulders as the confession slipped out. He realized how wrong he'd been all along, how it wasn't about Kara but him, and he didn't care past that point. He didn't care as long as Kara was safe, as long as she was protected. So Mon-El smiled, real and relieved and light at last. "Everything is going to be okay," he said. "As long as you're safe, we're gonna be fine."

"I can't lose you," Kara replied, one last shiver passing through her body, one last tear rolling down her cheek.

Mon-El wiped the drop away, still smiling at the blonde. "I'm here," he reassured. "I'm yours."

Kara didn't speak, didn't reply with words. She cupped Mon-El's face, staring right into his eyes, losing herself into the storm they held, and she kissed him. It was salty and it was greedy and it was desperate. Perhaps it even hurt a little. But she kissed him like she had never had before and never would again. She chased his warmth, his taste, his sweetness, like they were on a run and she needed to catch him. And she devoured him, cherished him, like he was a treasure and she'd spent all her life trying to discover him.

"I chose you," she mumbled against his lips, a promise she'd made long ago, before she had found him again. "I chose you," she repeated, mostly because she needed to convince herself that she had corrected her past mistake and less to convince Mon-El. "I will always choose you, I can't lose you again."

"You won't," Mon-El made a promise of his own, and he meant it, even though he knew the world would do everything to force him to break it. He didn't blink, didn't breathe, didn't think, for a few long moments. He just looked at Kara, took her in, remembered all the tiny details about her he had almost forgotten. And he found, in that frozen moment, in the rhythm of her racing heartbeat, all those things he'd been missing for the past seven years. He found her.

[nightmareonfilmstreet]

10 Movies We Can’t Wait To See At This Year’s Fantasia Film Festival

Ladies and Gentlemen, the 22nd Internation Fantasia Film Festival is upon us! This year’s lineup boasts from heavy hitters, including the World Premieres of Robert D. Krzykowski’s The Man Who Killed Hitler and then Bigfoot starring the legendary Sam Ellitot and Nightmare Cinema, directed by Mick Garris, Alejandro Brugués, Ryuhei Kitamura, David Slade and Joe Dante (who will also be recieving a lifetime achievement award). Also peremiering at the festival is David Robert Mitchell’s highly anticipted follow-up to It Follows, the neo noir Under The Silver Lake, the Spike Lee produced Tales From The Hood 2, and Dennison Ramalho’s (The ABC’s of Death) feature film debut, Among The Living.

There is no shortage of incredible, must-see films in this year’s lineup and it promises to be other banner year for genre film. The Fantasia Film Festival run from July 12th – August 1st in the heart of Montreal. Tickets are on sale now and can be purchased HERE.

Below are 10 movies that ewe can’t wait to see at this year’s Fantasia FIlm Festival. If you are going to be in attendance at the festival, let us know what your looking forward to seeeing in the comments below, on Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, and in the Horror Fiends of Nightmare on Film Street Facebook group!

    Mandy 

    Director: Pananos Cosmatos Writter: Pananos Cosmatos, Aaron Stewart-Ahn Cast: Nicolas Cage, Andrea Riseborough, Linus Roache, Bill Duke, Ricard Brake

“The peaceful existence of Red Miller (Nicolas Cage) in the Shadow Mountains of 1983 is burned to the ground when a deranged religious sect fixates on Mandy (Andrea Riseborough), the love of his life and, as is soon made very evident, a significant grounding force in his universe. Things deteriorate into a tranced-out nightmare of insect venom, hard drugs and broken-minded delirium as Red journeys into hell in order to avenge the woman he once lived for. Blood will flow in rivers. Worlds will collapse unto themselves.”

    Nightmare Cinema

    Director: Alejandro Brugués, Joe Dante, Mick Garris, Ryuhei Kitamura, David Slade Writer: Sandra Becerril, Alejandro Brugués, Lawrence C. Connolly, Mick Garris, Richard Christian Matheson, David Slade Cast: Maurice Benard, Richard Chamberlain, Annabeth Gish, Elizabeth Reaser, Mickey Rourke

“At a forgotten, haunted bijou, a group of strangers have assembled to watch a series of macabre vignettes unspooled by the mysterious Projectionist (Mickey Rourke). Like the best anthology films (DEAD OF NIGHT, CREEPSHOW, TRICK ‘R TREAT), the stories’ tones range from truly deep, dark, psychological, demented horror to ones with a lighter, satirical spin. Witness a ghost story that will chill you to the bone; an exorcism story guaranteed to make your head spin; a B&W descent into clinical madness; a plastic surgery gone horrifyingly awry; and a cabin-in-the-woods slasher ditty with a unique twist you’ll never see coming.”

    Under the Silver Lake

    Director: David Robert Mitchell Writer: David Robert Mitchell Cast: Andrew Garfield, Topher Grace, Riley Keough, Zosia Mamet

“Silver Lake, Los Angeles. The city of angels. The dream factory where it’s all too easy to lose contact grasp of Earth and see nothing but stars… Take for example Sam (Andrew Garfield), a prototypical slacker in his mid-thirties, without ambition… though he does have an unpredictable temperament, a penchant for voyeurism, and an unhealthy obsession with pop culture. When a mysterious neighbor (Riley Keough) appears in the sights of his binoculars, then disappears overnight without a trace, the first-class geek cannot help but investigate – possessed, somehow, by the eternal spirit of the countless detectives who stalked the hot asphalt of LA before him. But a Bogart he is not. Sam’s unorthodox methods very quickly leave him confounded; through the looking glass and into the heart of a strange city where dog killers, owl-women, aspiring actresses and gurus rub shoulders, among other high-society demiurges pulling the strings of an entire culture…”

    Terrified

  Director: Demián Rugna Writer: Demián Rugna Cast: Ariel Chavarría, Maximiliano Ghione, Norberto Gonzalo, Elvira Onetto

“The lives of three neighbours in Argentina are turned upside down following a series of violent deaths in the area. For retiring inspector Funes, what was supposed to be an easy case suddenly takes a strange turn and he finds himself dealing with more than he can handle. Paranormal experts are brought in to assist in investigating what they believe to be haunted houses, where they will be tested by an evil the likes of which they have never encountered. As the night goes on and chaos is unleashed upon them, nothing, and no one, can be trusted.”

    Tales From The Hood 2

    Directed: Darin Scott, Rusty Cundieff Writer: Darin Scott, Rusty Cundieff Cast: Keith David, Alexandria DeBerry, Bill Martin Williams, Bryan Batt, Lou Beatty Jr., Martin Bradford, Kendrick Cross

“Horror is back in the hood! The sequel to the groundbreaking original film TALES FROM THE HOOD reunites executive producer Spike Lee (Honorary Academy Award® winner) and writers/directors/producers Rusty Cundieff and Darin Scott for an all-new gripping, horrifying and oftentimes devilishly comical anthology. Keith David stars as a contemporary Mr. Simms to tell bloodcurdling stories about lust, greed, pride and politics through tales with demonic dolls, possessed psychics, vengeful vixens and historical ghosts. Mr. Simms’s haunting stories will make you laugh… while you scream.“

    The Witch In The Window

    Director: Andy Mitton Writer: Andy Mitton Cast: Arija Bareikis, Alex Draper, Greg Naughton, Carol Stanzione, Charlie Tacker

“Divorced dad Simon (Alex Draper) brings his 12-year-old son, Finn (Charlie Tacker) out to Vermont to help him renovate an old house he recently purchased. Used to the speed of New York City, Finn has an impossible time slowing down to a smalltown pace, and he’s disappointed before even getting there. So is Simon (“I guess I was hoping I would catch you on the 12 side of 12, instead of the 13 side of 12”). Afflicted with a rare medical condition in which there’s a literal hole in his heart, Simon, ever resourceful, does what he can to make things good as he and his son attempt to repair what’s broken. Soon, a series of nonsensically terrifying happenings occur, nightmarish and incomprehensible. It becomes clear that they aren’t alone in the house. That there is more work to be done than either could be capable of grasping. That death is a partially living state. And that they are in a very special kind of danger.“

  The Dark

    Director: Justin P. Lange Writer: Justin P. Lange Cast: Nadia Alexander, Karl Markovics, Toby Nichols

“Once upon a dark, dark time, there was a girl, lonely, undead and bloodthirsty. Behind her a dark, dark past – a curse. Hidden in the dark, dark woods, she tirelessly haunts her childhood home. Mina (Nadia Alexander) is a damaged soul, and tears to pieces anyone who dares enter her hunting ground. When she meets Alex (Toby Nichols), a disfigured and blind boy, brought to her by mysterious circumstances, her animalistic cannibal instincts seem to strangely fade away. As this uncanny friendship grows, little by little, both of these lost children learn how to reach out to the hints of light left within.”

    Cold Skin

    Director: Xavier Gens Writer: Jesus Olmo, Eron Sheean Cast: Aura Garrido, David Oakes, Ray Stevenson

“In the early years of the 20th century, a young man (David Oakes) takes over the responsibility of surveying the weather of a secluded island in the Antarctic. Hoping for isolation and time for self-reflection, he instead finds a crazed and weathered person named Gruner, played by genre favourite Ray Stevenson (DEXTER, THOR, DIVERGENT). Gruner quickly reveals that there is more to this island than meets the eye and that below the icy depths, a terrible scourge lurks. The extent of Gruner’s madness slowly becomes more and more pronounced as his bloodlust for the creatures becomes apparent. Struggling for survival, the surveyor must choose between a madman and a legion of creatures he does not fully understand.”

    Heavy Trip

    Director: Juuso Laatio, Jukka Vidgren Writer: Juuso Laatio, Jari Olavi Rantala, Aleksi Puranen, Jukka Vidgren Cast: Johannes Holopainen, Minka Kuustonen, Ville Tiihonen

“Life has its downsides in a small, northern Finnish town. The local bros give long-haired, leather-clad Turo a tough time, and his job at the mental hospital is literally shitty. His crush on Miia at the flower shop is thwarted by the tacky lounge singer Jouni, and his band jams in the back of a reindeer slaughterhouse. In the plus column for Turo, well… there’s the band, even if these black-metal true-believers have never gigged in all their 12 years together (Turo’s concealed but crippling stage fright hasn’t helped). A miraculous crack at a major metal festival in Norway jumpstarts the quartet’s dreams, and Impaled Rektum set out on a metallic mission that will make them confront not only doubts, detours and difficulties, but also Vikings in longships (plus an elf), graverobbing, Swedish rocket launchers and wolverine-wrestling (dangerous… and awkward!).“

    Dans La Brume

    Director: Daniel Roby Writer: Guillaume Lemans, Jimmy Bemon, Mathieu Delozier Cast: Romain Duris, Olga Kurylenko, Fantine Harduin, Michel Robin, Anne Gaylor

“Mathieu (Romain Duris, DE BATTRE MON COEUR S’EST ARRÊTÉ) and Anna (Olga Kurylenko, QUANTUM OF SOLACE) are the parents of a girl (Fantine Harduin, HAPPY END) who suffers from a genetic disorder forcing her to live in a hermetic box that filters the air. This already vulnerable existence becomes even more precarious on the day Paris is hit by an earthquake, and then filled with a mysterious toxic gas that seems to come from below ground. Only those hiding on the higher floors and rooftops of buildings survive, but they are left stranded, without any resources. Wanting to check that their daughter remains safe in her “bubble”, Mathieu and Anna will have to face the fog.”

    The Man Who Killed Hitler And Then Bigfoot

    Director: Robert Krzykowski Writer: Robert Krzykowski Cast: Sam Elliott, Caitlin FitzGerald, Ron Livingston, Aidan Turner

‘The year is 1987. Calvin Barr (a too-great-for-words Sam Elliott) is not a violent man. But he is more than capable of violence if sufficiently provoked. What many don’t realize about the thoughtful, elderly bloke regularly seen at the neighbourhood tavern is that he’s a legendary WW2 veteran who many years ago assassinated Adolf Hitler, an incredible secret that he’s frustratingly unable to share. One day, just as he’s coming to terms with rounding out his life, Calvin gets a visit from the FBI and the RCMP. They know what he’s done, and what he can be capable of. They have a mission for him. After discovering that it harbours a disease capable of eradicating humanity… they need him to take out Bigfoot.”

  Will you be in the Montreal area the next few weeks? Are you planning on seeing any movies at the 2018 Fantasia Film Festival? If so, let us know in the comments below, on Twitter, Instagram, Reddit, and in the Horror Fiends of Nightmare on Film Street Facebook group!

    The post 10 Movies We Can’t Wait To See At This Year’s Fantasia Film Festival appeared first on Nightmare on Film Street - Horror Movie Podcast, News and Reviews.

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[whatta-babe]

Tagged

I was tagged by my favorite, @webslingerholland. If you want to do this even if you are not tagged, go right ahead. I hope you have a great day!

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Pandora

is your room messy or clean? Messy

What color are your eyes? Brown

Do you like your name? why? Not really. It is super basic (Ana Sofia), and I really don’t like being called  Ana so I go by Sofia.

What is your relationship status? Single

Describe your personality in 3 words or less Shy, bubbly, passionate

What color hair do you have? Brown almost black hair

What kind of car do you drive? Color? I don’t drive.

Where do you shop? Kohls, Target, Forever 21, and thrift stores

How would you describe your style? Fashionable I guess? I dress in different and cute clothing, but I do not have a specific style.

Favorite social media account? Tumblr

What size bed do you have? Twin

Any siblings? I have a twin and a younger half-sister.

If you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? Why? New York. I visited NY last summer and fell in love. There are a ton of people (which isn’t my favorite), but I adored riding the metro and where my aunt lives is sooo beautiful and old.

Favorite snapchat filter? The one with the giant mouth so it only looks like you have giant eyes and huge lips

Favorite makeup brand(s)? None. I only got into makeup fairly recently so I don’t have more than one product per brand. That isn’t enough for me to tell.

How many times a week do you shower? 6/7 times per week

Favorite tv show? “Lie to Me”

Shoe size? US 6.5

How tall are you? 5′

Sandals or sneakers? Sandals

Do you go to the gym? Haha, no

Describe your dream date? Extreme cuddling in bed while watching a movie

How much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? $40

What color socks are you wearing? Pink

how many pillows do you sleep with? 5

Do you have a job? What do you do? I do not, but I volunteer.

How many friends do you have? A lot of friends but no really close ones. I’m always ready to make more!

Whats the worst thing you have ever done? I accidentally killed my 2 hermit crabs when I was in elementary school because I left them outside in the summer heat and forgot about them. They fried to death.

What’s your favorite candle scent? Honey suckle but I don’t light candles because...😨

3 favorite boy names? Paddy (Not Patrick- just Paddy), Carlisle, and Jasper

3 favorite girl names? Rosalie and that’s it

Name favorite actor? Tom Holland

Favorite actress? Tatiana Maslany? I don’t really have a favorite.

Who is your celebrity crush? Does Sam Holland count as a celebrity?

Favorite movie? As of right now it is Spider-Man Homecoming, but it constantly changes.

Do you read a lot? What’s your favorite book? YES! Pretty much all I do is read! That being said, I have too many favorite books to count, but I always tend to go back to the Twilight books.

Money or brains? Brains

Do you have a nickname? What is it? No

How many times have you been to the hospital? 2 times

Top 10 favorite songs? With them constantly changing and in no particular order:

Mr Sandman by the Chordettes

Without Love from Hairspray

Glory by John Legend and Common

Missed Again by Phil Collins

Dernière Danse by Indila

Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps cover by Cake

Your Song by Elton John

Michelle by the Beatles

Skyfall by Adel

Cry Baby by Melanie Martinez

Do you take any medications daily? Hair, skin, and nails vitamins

What is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Combination skin

What is your biggest fear? Fire

How many kids do you want? 2 (adopted)

What’s your go to hair style? I have a different hair style every day, and my hair isn’t reliable enough to usually just wear it down so I can’t answer that.

What type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) One is big and the other is medium sized.

Who is your role model? I don’t have one.

What was the last compliment you received? “You look nice today.”

What was the last text you sent? I sent 3 group pictures to my friend.

How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real? I think it was 4th grade.

What is your dream car? X Terra

Opinion on smoking? My dad smokes, and I absolutely hate it. Not only does it affect the smoker, but it also affects the people around them too.

Do you go to college? Not yet

What is your dream job? Either an editor or some type of psychologist

Would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Suburbs

Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Hehe, yes

Do you have freckles? No

Do you smile for pictures? 90% of the time

How many pictures do you have on your phone? 464

Have you ever peed in the woods? No

Do you still watch cartoons? Sometimes

Do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McDonalds

Favorite dipping sauce? None

What do you wear to bed? Since it is getting a bit colder I wear a long sleeved shirt and pants  (I get cold easily).

Have you ever won a spelling bee? Lol! I suck at spelling so no.

What are your hobbies? Reading, singing, and writing (sometimes)

Can you draw? Haha, that’s funny. No

Do you play an instrument? I wish

What was the last concert you saw? I believe it was Panic! at the Disco

Tea or coffee? Coffee

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Starbucks

Do you want to get married? Yes

What is your crush’s first and last initial? SH

Are you going to change your last name when you get married? Yes

What color looks best on you? Red

Do you miss anyone right now? Not really, but I do miss cuddling.

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed

Do you believe in ghosts? Yes!

What is your biggest pet peeve? Cheating in a relationship. It makes me physically ill.

Last person you called? My mother

Favorite ice cream flavor? Mint chocolate chip

Regular oreos or golden oreos? Regular oreos

Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Chocolate

What shirt are you wearing? One of my many Captain America shirts

What is your phone background? Who else than mon ange, Sam Holland?

Are you outgoing or shy? Shy

Do you like it when people play with your hair? Yes!!!

Do you like your neighbors? I don’t really know them so

Do you wash your face? Yes. 2 times a day actually

Have you ever been high? No and never planning on being

Have you ever been drunk? Nope

Last thing you ate? Jolly Rancher

Favorite lyrics right now?

Mr. Sandman bring us a dream Give him a pair of eyes with a “come-hither” gleam Give him a lonely heart like Pagliacci And lots of wavy hair like Liberace Mr Sandman, someone to hold Would be so peachy before we’re too old So please turn on your magic beam Mr Sandman, bring us, please, please, please Mr Sandman, bring us a dream ~The Chordettes

summer or winter? Winter

Day or night? Night

Dark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk chocolate for me

Favorite month? November

What is your zodiac sign? Capricorn

Who was the last person you cried in front of? My twin because a cockroach flew at me.

I am tagging: @sweetbadheart @lady-loki-l @peachyyvibes

[frasier-crane-style]

Ugggggh, this Saw Gerrera arc on Clone Wars is fucking retarded.

Clone Wars highlights 

-Asaji Ventruss

-Count Dooku

-Savage Oppress

-Darth Maul

-They all hate each other and it’s amazing.

-It makes me wish the Clone Wars were legitimately two Sith Lords, Dooku and Palpatine, jockeying for power and not an elaborate false-flag operation.

Clone Wars lowlights.

-Savage Oppress’s name (in the classic SF tradition, it’s pronounced with apostrophes for extra future. Sa’vag’e Op’pre’ss)

-The Mortis arc. Hey, kids, there are these dumb Force Gods and one of them is a really nice Force lady and one of them is a really mean Force dude and Anakin Skywalker sees his fate (which is to become Darth Vader because he has no free will) and he basically falls to the Dark Side before becoming Vader but then they make him forget all about it so that was important.

-Also, Lucas’s conception of the Force is that the Dark Side is a cancer, a virus. The Force in balance is all Light Side, no Dark Side. I expect better from an official LucasArts story then this idea of the Dark Side and the Light like they’re Ralph and Sam punching in at the time-clock. It’s like saying that too much consensual sex or too much rape is bad, but as long as you have a certain amount of consensual sex and a certain amount of rape, then they’re in balance and that’s Good. No! You want all sex to be consensual and there to be no rape! Duh!

-Guess that brings us to this Saw Gerrera crap.

-Okay, so this is explained pitifully, but... the Jedi hear about a Confederate world where the citizenry are rebelling against the CIS, hey, why don’t we help out the rebels since we all want to take down the Separatists? They’ve done it before with Hera’s dad (spoilers!) on Ryloth.

-Nope! For some reason--this is explained pitifully--the Jedi are all whinging about ‘overthrowing a legitimate government.’ Uhm... ba-huh? I thought the official Republic stance on the Separatists was that they were insurrectionists, not a legitimate political movement. That’s why Republic senators aren’t even allowed to meet with the Separatists to negotiate. They are not considered legitimate one bit. Any government that supports the Confederacy is ipso facto illegitimate and there would be a regime change when the Republic defeats them. Anything else would be like Ohio trying to secede from the union, the National Guard going in to make them stay, then the governor of Ohio being left in power so long as he promised to keep paying federal taxes. I say again--ba-huh?

-This turns into, I swear to God, some sort of Vietnam/Afghanistan analogy by way of a YA novel love quadrangle. 

-Okay, but really, Anakin & Co go in to train the rebels on how to fight droids, but they can’t officially get involved because... it would piss the Confederacy off? Only this isn’t a Cold War situation--the Separatists and the Republic are already in a shooting war. It’s like if in WW2, Americans were sent in to help the French Resistance, but told not to shoot any Germans because???????

-Effectively, this ends up in Ahsoka doing the observe & report thing for weeks on end, but not being allowed to get involved. So we have a Jedi Knight just sitting on her duff in the middle of a shooting war. Why not just send in a clone? It seems like any of them could handle teaching the rebels about small-unit tactics and reporting their progress to the Republic. Why waste a valuable Jedi on doing literally nothing?

-I swear, the Jedi have a big thing about not letting the Separatists know they’re involved, so they have to do a run-around with Hondo to get rocket launchers to the rebels, that’s how uninvolved they have to be. I get why this would be the case if they didn’t want to escalate hostilities, but the Separatists are about to attack Coruscant and kidnap Palpatine. Why are the Jedi pussyfooting around except to keep to some pointless Charlie Wilson’s War analogy?

-I guess you could say that they wanted to see if the Rebs could succeed without a Jedi, but if that’s the case, why send a Jedi? If you can send a Jedi, send a Jedi, what is this, Marquis of Queensbury rules? And geez, no wonder the Order got wiped out if this was how they interacted with people. “Hey, beleaguered allies? We’re sending in a ninja demi-god with magic powers to help you out. What? Oh, no, she’s not going to chop robots in half with her laser swords or anything, she’ll just give you a few tips and stuff. Other than that, she’s just there to watch your horrible deaths doing our dirty work and see how that works out for you. Yes, OF COURSE we’re on the same side!”

-Did I mention that the leader of the rebels is some lame Mary Sue named Stele Gerrera and she dies a martyr and, after the general in charge of the entire planet’s army comes over to their side, she’s put in charge of the armed forces over him, even though she’s a teenage girl (judging by how she’s in a love triangle with Ahsoka and Lux, so it’s either that or she’s a pedo) and she continuously gets herself involved in frontline fighting which, surprise, ends up getting her killed.

-I know this franchise has a dumb tendency of making every main character and every Jedi ever a general, as well as making Natalie Portman ruler of an entire planet before she was old enough to buy beer, but it’s still dumb here. 

-Oh, and all this dumbness is supposed to be the birth of the Rebel Alliance. Even though they’re not affiliated with the Old Republic and they’re rebelling against the CIS instead of the Empire.

-This. Is. So. Dumb.

-The Rebel Alliance officially began when, after Palpatine seized power, Mon Mothma, Garm bel Ibis, Bail Organa, Padme Amidala, and some others decided he had to be removed from power and the Republic restored. Hence, the Rebellion To Restore The Republic. It was an organized anti-Imperial resistance with an established goal from day one. The whole Force Unleashed video game was about that. If you’re going to say the first Rebel was ‘really’ Stele/Saw Gerrera, you might as well say the first Rebellion was against the occupation of Naboo in the Phantom Menace, or the resistance against the Sith Empires back in Tales of the Jedi. Or was Saw Gerrera, like, the first person in the universe to come up with the idea of a riot?

-If you’re going to retcon that, it could be interesting to involve the CIS. After all, we’re told there were heroes on both sides--the Separatists were against a draconian and corrupt Republic, the Rebels are against the draconian and corrupt Empire which the Republic turned into, makes sense there’d be overlap--that would at least be dramatically compelling. Having the ‘Rebel Alliance’ just go from fighting the CIS to fighting the Empire is boring.

-It would also be interesting to have the Jedi set the principles that the Rebellion is guided by, but judging from what a torturing prick Saw Gerrera is when he shows up in Rogue One, it’s pretty clear that these proto-Rebels didn’t learn a damn thing from the Jedi. So, again, what’s the point?

-And yeah, Saw Gerrera is based on mass-murdering lunatic Che Guerrera. I suppose next we can expect fun-loving smuggler Adol Litler.

[jerryadler-blog]

New York, Iraq, Myanmar: The endless calamity of religious war

An inset photo of Sayfullah Saipov on the scene of multiple bikes crushed along a bike path in lower Manhattan in New York City on Oct. 31, 2017. (Photo: Brendan McDermid/Reuters/ABC)

If there was any comfort to be had in the wake of the shooting at a Texas church Nov. 5 that killed 26 worshippers, it was that this latest atrocity, coming just a week after an immigrant from Uzbekistan was charged with running over 20 people on a crowded Manhattan bicycle path, had nothing to do with ISIS. Recent history has given us all too many illustrations of the aphorism coined by the Nobel Prize-winning physicist and outspoken atheist Steven Weinberg: “With or without religion, good people can behave well and bad people can do evil; but for good people to do evil — that takes religion.”

Weinberg, writing two years before the 9/11 attacks, based his conclusion on evidence that had been accumulating more or less since the dawn of history, mentioning in particular Frederick Douglass’s observation that his own situation as a slave “became worse when his master underwent a religious conversion that allowed him to justify slavery as the punishment of the children of Ham.” It’s unlikely that anything going on in the world now would give him reason to change his mind, in a year when terrorists have struck New York, London and Paris in the name of Islam, while more than a half-million Muslims have been driven from their homes in Myanmar by Buddhists.

Tears roll down the cheeks of a child while drinking water from a kettle, as Rohingya Muslims who have fled persecution in Myanmar wait along the border for permission to move farther toward refugee camps near Palong Khali, Bangladesh, Nov. 2, 2017. (Photo: Bernat Armangue/AP)

Weinberg was writing about how zealotry can turn even good people into monsters. The man who shot up the church in Sutherland Springs appeared to be acting out of a personal grievance, to the extent that it makes sense to even attribute a motive to such an act, and what we know of his background, including convictions for domestic violence, is damning. But the head of state of Myanmar, Aung San Suu Kyi, had a reputation as a very good person, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize for her long struggle to bring democracy to her country. It is uncertain how much control she exercises over the powerful Myanmar military. But on the face of it, she has been either complicit or at best indifferent to the ethnic cleansing underway in Rakhine province, a brutal campaign characterized by murder, forced evacuations and the burning of houses. The victims are members of a minority ethnic group, the Rohingya, who are guilty of belonging to a religion that is not Buddhism.

It is shocking, of course, that these atrocities have been perpetrated by co-religionists of the Dalai Lama. But it sheds a clarifying light on the debate over the nature of Islam — is it a religion of war or of peace? — that crops up after every atrocity, a pointless exercise of quoting competing passages from the Koran and the Hadith. One side may quote the fierce injunction of Surah 9, verse 123, (“O ye who believe! Fight such of the disbelievers as are near to you and let them find hardness in you…”), which certainly sounds like a justification for running down pedestrians with a truck. The other side may bring up 2:257 (“There should be no compulsion in religion…”), a call to tolerance regrettably undermined by the fact that 13 mostly Muslim countries, including Iran, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates, have laws that treat atheism as a crime punishable by death.

As Ali Rizvi, author of “The Atheist Muslim,” points out, this is an unpopular view among progressives, who are inclined to defend the typically dark-skinned, historically oppressed adherents of Islam. So I will attempt to defuse that criticism by stipulating that other religions are capable of behaving just as badly. Sam Harris, author of “The End of Faith,” calls the war on the Rohingya “an absolutely horrific example of tribal violence,” although he thinks it would be very much worse if Buddhism, like Islam, contained within it doctrines that explicitly justify violence. In its literature and teachings and everyday practice, Buddhism really is a religion of peace. But confronted by a competing faith within its own borders, its adherents take on the same defensive, suspicious and ultimately violent characteristics as Muslims, Hindus, Jews or Christians. Religion divides people. You are either one of the chosen people, or you are not. You either accept Jesus as your savior, or you don’t. These are distinctions that many believers treat as a matter of life or death.

How much blood was shed over the centuries in wars between Catholics and Protestants? How many were killed in the brutal fighting between Muslims and Hindus at the birth of India and Pakistan, and still more in the occasional clashes that have continued since then, even as both countries have armed themselves with nuclear bombs? How many are still dying in the Middle East in fighting between Muslims and Jews, and the endless exchange of car and suicide bombings between Sunni and Shia, carrying on a schism that dates back to the seventh century? “That so many of us are still dying on account of ancient myths is as bewildering as it is horrible,” Harris has written, “and our own attachment to these myths, whether moderate or extreme, has kept us silent in the face of developments that could ultimately destroy us.”

Of course, the lesson of the 20th century is that people make war for all sorts of reasons. The Hutus of Rwanda worked themselves up into a genocidal frenzy against the Tutsis without needing the excuse of religious differences. The worst deeds of ISIS and al-Qaida are but footnotes to the volumes of misery inflicted on their own citizens by the atheistic governments of the Soviet Union, communist China and Pol Pot’s Cambodia. Religion is just one more thing for people to fight about, but a particularly galling one because it holds itself out as the opposite. Every religion contains prayers for peace, but was a war ever stopped by religion?

Cambodian youngsters gather in a knot within a crowd of older Khmers including soldiers of the toppled Pol Pot regime, following the group’s escape across the frontier, April 16,1979, in Wong Mon, Thailand. (Photo: Jeff Robbins/AP)

Rizvi believes Islamic terror will be defeated not by waging war on it, nor by the peaceful camp of Muslims winning the argument with the radicals over the meaning of the Koran, but by more Muslims embarking on the intellectual passage he describes in the subtitle of his book, “A Journey From Religion to Reason.” The Western world has been on that journey since the Enlightenment, leading to what has been described as a post-Christian society in Western Europe, where almost no one, except Muslims, cares enough about his religion to want to kill for it.

To reach that point took several centuries from Locke and Voltaire, Rizvi notes, but that was in a world where ideas spread by the relatively inefficient media of books, tracts and speeches. There are powerful forces within Islam working against an Islamic Enlightenment, Harris contends, but there is reason to hope they are fighting a rear-guard action. As Maryam Namazie, the Iranian human rights activist has said, “The internet is doing to Islam what the printing press did in the past to Christianity.”

Or maybe we can pray for a deus ex machina. If God really does love the world, this would be a good time for him to send down the messiah he’s been promising for 2,500 years.  Or else come down from the heavens as he did routinely in biblical days and tell the world what an increasing number of people have come to suspect anyway: that he doesn’t actually exist.

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