#Mo' Jam Mondays

[the-californicationist]

Guile & Guilt (Ch. 06)

Johnny texts you while he's deployed, but when he calls you one night, you are forced to face your consequences.

MDNI/18+

Link to AO3

OCTOBER, MONDAY MORNING, TWO WEEKS LATER

Your apartment was bathed in the cold gray light of a foggy morning, and you curled your duvet closer around you trying to stave off the dawn’s chill. You’d been awake for a while, which was very uncharacteristic of you. Usually more of a late riser, the only reason for your early bird behavior was Johnny MacTavish. 

He was three hours ahead of you, and every morning, when the sun came up in the Urzikstani hillside, you were sent an image of Johnny’s hand, clutching whatever his breakfast was that day. Sometimes it was a tin cup of black coffee, other times you’d get a banana or a protein bar. But, it was always his giant hand and a sherbet orange sky. This morning, it was cloudy and dark, and his breakfast of choice was a slab of toast, smeared with butter and jam. 

MoChroi: sunrise_sand.jpg

You: wow. quite the delicacy today. cant believe you found actual jam out there

Mo Chroi: bit suspicious. when the food gets better the missions get worse

You: uh oh

Mo Chroi: dinnae fash thief xx

Mo Chroi: writing today?

You: yep. and meeting with my prof

Mo Chroi: what ya got on then

Mo Chroi: give us a show bonnie

Mo Chroi: is it naughty?? lol

You: nope

You: rangers_tee.jpg

You sent a photo of your torso, cutting out your head, wearing his own tee shirt. His typing bubbles percolated along the bottom of the screen immediately. Then, an indignant response:

Mo Chroi: thief!! xx

You: youre the one who stole my hair tie

Mo Chroi: hairtie.jpg

Mo Chroi: needed a hostage

Mo Chroi: your bad habits are rubbin off. stole cap’s clothes out of the shower this morning

Mo Chroi: price_hat.jpg

You: you learn quick mo chroi

His typing bubbles appeared, and then they disappeared. You watched them pop up in the chat and then vanish three more times until finally all you got was silence. This was a common occurrence, so you tried not to overthink it. Over the past two weeks of texting with him, you knew he disappeared sometimes. He’d get a call to go into the field, or there would be some crisis. You wondered if his captain had discovered his prank. 

The room was still cold, and you were reluctant to leave your cocoon of warmth, but you needed to write. You had promised yourself that you’d go into the office early today before your meeting with your major professor. After a deep sigh and some very challenging mental gymnastics, you stuck a leg out and onto the frigid concrete floor.

Your apartment was very modern. So modern, in fact, that it had been a challenge to make it feel homey. There was very little room inside for anything more than a queen bed, a short futon, and your desk. Your bathroom was sleek and full of brutalist, functional, concrete stylings, but the kitchen was barely big enough for a sink and a toaster oven. You had kept the futon for guests, not that you had many (any) visitors, but aside from the stacks of books in the corners of each room, your entire studio was practical to a fault. 

But, it was enough for you and your rescue cat, Marlowe, so you didn’t complain.

On the wall opposite the front door, a huge plexiglass window overlooked the River Kelvin, conveniently situated right across from some student housing so you could access the bus. Not having a car went against your Floridian roots, but you’d fallen in love with the ease of public transportation. 

After throwing on an oversized sweater and a pair of fleece-lined leggings, you slipped on your wellies and headed to the bus stop. You’d brought a big thermos of coffee, ready to face the day. 

Your phone buzzed again.

Pidge: I’m so excited to see you this weekend!! :D

You: me too! is hammie picking me up after all or no

Pidge: Yes, I told him to be at the platform at 4.

You: cool 

Pidge: Have you spoken with my brother?

You paused for a moment, riding the elevator and staring at your phone. You didn’t want to lie to her, but you probably shouldn’t tell her the truth. The truth was that you’d been texting her brother every day since he left for leave. You went with a half-truth instead:

You: yeah a few times why

She did not respond. You waited for the other shoe to drop like a blindfolded prisoner waits for their firing squad. The bus came to your stop, and you climbed on, sitting on the carpeted seat closest to the door, knowing your stop was only three away. 

When you got to your office, your phone buzzed again. You set your bag and your coffee down before you even looked at it, avoiding touching your cell as if it had thorns. 

You flipped over the screen.

Mo Chroi: make it to the office?

You: office.jpg

Mo Chroi: have a good day today thief

Mo Chroi: helicopter1.jpg

Mo Chroi: going on a wee trip. afk xx

You: promise xx

Mo Chroi: promise xx

Promise. Promise. It was you and Johnny’s little code. You hadn’t liked hearing about his “little trips” in the beginning, especially after he had shown you a photo of his truck, riddled with bullet holes. You used to say “good luck”, but you didn’t like that sound of that. You hoped luck had nothing to do with it. So, you just asked him to promise to text you back or to promise to be safe. And he always replied that he promised he would. Now, it had shortened to your one-word ritual. You always said it and he always said it back. 

Another buzz:

Pidge: No reason. He has my phone charge the little nugget.

You: omg lol 

You were not laughing out loud. If anything, you were sighing in relief. 

It took most of the morning, but you fell into a routine. You had your meeting, came back, and wrote some more. Lunch was a pre-packaged lunch box from the student center and a refill on your coffee. You missed dinner. The sun set on you as you finished a critical section of your thesis, looking it over for flow and mistakes. 

Worn out, and finally feeling hungry again, you checked your phone on your way back to the bus stop. No new messages. You waited for the bus, flipping through his photos again as if you would have forgotten them from when you looked at them from last night. Or the night before last. 

You stopped looking at them, challenging yourself to have a non-Johnny thought in your head for once.

Maybe you would make a ramen with eggs in it tonight. 

Maybe he’ll text you back. 

You could watch another episode of that K-drama you liked. 

Maybe he’ll send you a picture of him shirtless.

You could go for a run.

Maybe he will run his tongue back over your —

The bus came. You blocked out your thoughts from your mind, desperate to regain some semblance of control. 

THURSDAY NIGHT

It had been three days, and you still hadn’t heard from him. You tried not to think about all of the terrible reasons why that might be the case. But, you did. You thought about them all the time. Every time you checked your phone or read an email or scrolled through your feeds; it was the only thing you thought about. 

You had his shirt on again, eating leftover Chinese on your futon. You were thinking about all of the things you needed to take care of before tomorrow. It was Pidge’s bridal shower weekend and you were trying to wrangle all the final touches together. You’d rented out Ettrick’s, at Pidge’s request, and you had sent the invites two weeks ago. Almost everyone had RSVP’d yes, so you were looking at nearly 45 people to host. The custom bridal cookies were set for pick up when Hamish took you into town tomorrow afternoon, and the champagne was paid for. And you were dreading it. 

You were excited to be there for Brigette. She had always been there for you. When you first moved to Scotland, you were well and truly alone. But, she met you for lunch almost every day after class, claiming to need her caffeine fix. But, as time went on, you realized she wanted to be friends. Having no one and being in a new country was so tough, but she had made it feel so easy. So, even though you hated the prim and proper social situation of a shower, you resolved to tough it out. 

You put the half-eaten Chinese back in the fridge and climbed into bed. Your phone buzzed as you went to put it on the charger.

Mo Chroi: you up?

Your heart stopped for a moment, making your breath hitch in your chest. You fumbled with your phone, rushing to open his message.

Mo Chroi: camels.jpg

You: omg! are those REAL

You: shes not a camel but ill trade you one critter pic for a Marlowe pic

You: marlowethecat.jpg

Mo Chroi: her cheeks are brilliant lol so big

You: so your mission went okay?

Mo Chroi: lol yeah. and we got the guy who owned the camels to take a cool pic of us. can you tell which one’s me?

Mo Chroi: group_pic.jpg

You: gotta be number 3

Mo Chroi: how’d you know

You: your wide shoulders. and you always stand like that

Mo Chroi: like my shoulders do you

You: yep 

You: you should send me a selfie

There was a long pause. You were a little afraid that you’d overstepped a boundary. Sure, his long, hungry tongue had been buried between your legs three weeks ago, eating you like he was starving, but people were cagey about their online privacy. You backtracked:

You: if you want to. nbd if not

Mo Chroi: selfie.jpg

You checked the image, and your heart sank like a stone. Johnny wore a green and yellow bruise over his eye, and his head had been shaved.

You: you okay? bruise looks nasty

Mo Chroi: you should see the other lad

You: and they shaved you?

Mo Chroi: got a nasty wee cut on the back of my head and doc sheared me like a damn sheep

He sent you a series of frowny faces and sheep emojis, and you felt a wave of calm settle in your chest. The latent fear was still there, and would be until you saw him again, but it was good to know he was alright. 

FRIDAY MORNING

You were back on the bus, toting around your overnight bag, planning on heading to the train straight after your colloquium lecture this afternoon. Your phone had been beeping at you all morning. Johnny was begging for you to record your talk, asking you to let him sit in on your “class”. 

You: johnny its not a class! its just a lecture. we have to give them every now and then to show what we’ve been doing with our research. its not fun. you’d be bored.

Mo Chroi: meirleach! i dinnae care how fun it is. let me see!!

You: campus.jpg

You: look. its all stuffy and campusy. you wouldnt like it

Mo Chroi: youre breaking my heart lass xx

You smiled. He was so bright, and he made you feel like you were so very special. It was no wonder he was such a danger to single women everywhere. Your confidence was soaring.

When you made it to your office, you sent him another picture of your current work. You were writing a short paper on German poems, not really related to your thesis, for a conference coming up in the spring.

You: look. you dont even speak german! it would be like torture

You: german_poem.jpg   

Mo Chroi: so cool. im beggin you. let me watch you. i won’t say a word. 

You: maybe if you come back a little early from leave next time, you can sneak into one

Mo Chroi: if i survive this training, i will. 

Mo Chroi: thinking about seeing you up there teaching. got me all turned on

You sent him an emoji with a shocked look on its face, feigning coy shyness. He was relentless.

Mo Chroi: think youd let me be teachers pet?

You: more like class clown

Mo Chroi: you did seem fond of all of my tricks. wanna see what else i can do?

You: lecture_hall.jpg

You: i have to prep for this talk. keep your naughty thoughts to yourself soldier

Mo Chroi: yes maam 

Mo Chroi: wait!

You: what

Mo Chroi: before you go. what color knickers are you in

Mo Chroi: just trying to imagine your lecture 

Mo Chroi: with accuracy

Mo Chroi: cmon lass. for extra credit

You smiled down at your phone again, knowing your answer was going to win this little back and forth game he was playing.

You: im not wearing any this morning. gonna do my washing at your place.

Mo Chroi: jesus mary and joseph

You: and all the saints?

Mo Chroi: every one of them xx

Your lecture went off without a hitch. You earned yourself a few crowd questions and a round of polite applause. Stopping back by your office on the way out, you grabbed your laptop and headed for the bus stop. You’d forgotten your phone was on silent, and it wasn’t until you made it to the train station that you realized it. Two missed calls from Pidge and three texts from her brother.

You checked the texts as you returned her call, unable to hold yourself back from seeing what he wrote to you.

She answered quickly,

“Hey! Are you on your way?”

“Yep,��� you replied, “I’ll be there around three forty-five, I think.”

“Okay, perfect. I just wanted to tell you that we’re adding two more to the list. Anjali invited Steph and Tiff. Is that alright, babes?”

You tried not to groan directly into the mouthpiece,

“Yes! The more the merrier.”

What were you going to do about the seating chart? You’d figure it out later. 

“Fantastic! You’re amazing, hen. You know that?”

“Anything for you, bestie.”

She kissed you over the phone and hung up. You let out that sigh you’d been holding. As much as you loved her, you were ready for your friend’s wedding to be over with..

You checked the messages from Johnny, looking to escape from your thoughts again. He was the perfect distraction.

Mo Chroi: oh fuck no

Mo Chroi: its dog day for training

Mo Chroi: army_dog.jpg

You: you dont like dogs?

Mo Chroi: not these

Mo Chroi: had a bad time with attack dogs in russia a few tours back

The train arrived and you got settled. You weren’t sure how to respond. It was back again, that funny feeling in your chest about him being in constant danger. You didn’t know how to handle it. It wasn’t like you could ask him to stop. That was his job, and he was one of the best. He’d been enlisted on this elite task force, and even though you barely understood what that meant, you knew it was special. What right did you have to stand in the way of his greatness? The world needed Sergeant Johnny MacTavish, and you were just a distraction. 

You waited for him to text again, a distraction for you and you for him. A two-way street. That’s all it was, right? How could it be anything more? 

You thought about his sister. She’d been so painfully clear about her boundaries. You imagined telling her you liked him, telling her you wanted to date him. She’d explode. There’d be Scottish yelling, and Scottish fighting, and Scottish siblings rowing at each other all over the house. You couldn’t do that to her, especially not now. So, you just went back to distracting him.

You: did you get bitten?

Mo Chroi: yeah, right on the belly. those bastards. can you see it 

Mo Chroi: shirtless.jpg

You gasped audibly, hoping no one had heard you on the train. You’d already seen him naked, but having a picture of his bare, muscled torso on your phone was another thing entirely. You glanced around, checking behind you and clutching your screen to your chest, holding it to you shamefully, praying no one saw it. 

You typed a message, then deleted it. You tried again, and then deleted it. You knew he could see your text bubbles popping up, and it embarrassed you to no end. Eventually, you decided to just be honest.

You: youre so damn hot

The wait was going to kill you. Seconds became minutes, which became hours, which became eons. You stared at the bottom of your message like it would disappear if you looked away. You opened the picture of his bare torso again, unable to stop yourself from indulging in his huge body. You knew how those muscles felt, and you wanted to feel them again.

He didn’t respond. Your heart sank like a rock. You felt the train screech to a halt at the station, and it took everything in you to pocket your phone and leave the car.

You marched down to meet Hamish, trying to control the look on your face. 

“Hey! Over here!” he called to you from the carpark.

You saw his smiling face and tried to match his energy,

“Hey! Thanks for coming.”

“You bet,” he said as he took your bags. 

“Can we stop by the bakery around the corner? They’ve got all the cookies and pastries we ordered for tomorrow.”

“Of course, lass. No problem. Hop in.”

Hamish drove you around, the perfect gentleman, carrying box after box of dessert for his fiance’s shower, storing them carefully in the boot of the car. 

“Wow, these smell incredible, don’t they,” he crooned, “Wish I could crash your wee party.”

“No boys allowed,” you said wryly, smiling at him, eliciting a genuine laugh.

The rest of the drive passed in companionable silence. He talked a little about his research, and you shared a bit about yours, mentioning your latest lecture. Otherwise, you checked your phone constantly. 

Then, just as you pulled into the driveway of the MacTavish house, you got a text.

Unknown: Hello this is Captain John Price. Sergeant MacTavish’s phone is dead, and he is making me text you the word: promise. 

You: oh thank you. can you tell him promise back?

Captain: Roger

Your stomach twisted for a different reason now. He wasn’t upset with you, which was a relief, but he had just shipped out on another mission. It was so sudden, it seemed like an emergency. You saved the captain’s number in your phone, just in case. 

After hugging Pidge and helping Hamish with the boxes, you unpacked your bags and started the laundry. You met Pidge in the living room, watching her put the finishing touches on some gift bags.

“These are cute,” you commented, feeling the soft ripple of the ribbons tied around the bags in your fingers. 

“Thanks,” she said as she fixed one of the bows, “Hope I made enough.” 

“They’ll live,” you smiled. 

“Hey, did you hear from Johnny again?”

“Uh…no, why?” You panicked.

“He said he doesn’t have my charger but now that muppet is not answerin’ me. Gonna pop him when he’s down for Christmas, I swear.”

“He’s coming back for the holidays?” You asked, a little too enthusiastically. 

Pidge cut her eyes up at you briefly, responding in a measured voice,

“Yeah, just a week. Why?”

You wracked your brain for a reason, pretending to look at the calendar on your phone. Finally, you said,

“Think he’d drive me up from Glasgow? The train is awful at Christmas.”

“Oh,” she sighed, “God, he’s so irresponsible, babes. Not sure I trust him to get you here on time. But, I’ll threaten him. He’ll do it for me. He’s been so accommodating lately. Johnny boy is like a new man.”

“Oh, really?” You weren’t sure where this conversation was going, but you pried anyway.

“Did you know he paid for the rehearsal dinner? The whole damn thing! Having it at the wee distillery and everything. Right proper party we’ll be havin’. Cannae believe it.”

The Auchentoshan Distillery was Old Kilpatrick’s pride and joy. He’d spent a pretty penny if he’d booked it out for her.

“He loves you,” you confessed softly.  

“He tries to,” she said a little bitterly.

You watched her pack up the bags, and you began to wonder about their relationship with each other. It was clear to you that there was some immovable object that was being pressed upon by some unstoppable force. They were at a quiet, bubbling impasse, ready to boil over at any moment. Yes, they loved each other. But, Johnny and Pidge had diverged somewhere, and it was a rift that needed to be mended. 

The washer buzzed. You went to move over the clothes. 

“I’m heading over to grab the girls. Wanna come?” Pidge asked you, her keys in hand. 

“No room,” you observed, realizing they wouldn’t all fit in the car.

“Ugh, guess you’re right, hen. No worry, we’ll be right back. I’m excited to have a girls’ night.”

“Me, too,” you lied. 

Well, it was a half-lie. You didn’t mind a girls’ night. It was more the fact that you’d have to hide your phone from view as you waited for Johnny to report he was back safe and sound. 

After Pidge left, you crawled into his sheets. The memories of you and your soldier came flooding back again, but this time they swirled together with all of the complexities that you were facing. The simplicity of that brief night you shared had become warped by reality, and you realized you needed to come to terms with your emotions before you got hurt. 

FRIDAY EVENING

Your phone buzzed in your hand, waking you. It was warm from being on the charger and covered up by your body. You hoped that didn’t break anything. Sleep had taken you over like a surging wave. You didn’t realize how exhausted you were from your week. 

Unknown: heyyyyy this is soaps mate kyle. he wanted to let you know we’re back. 

You: thanks for letting me know

Kyle: you bet

You were kicking yourself. You should have asked if he was okay. Just when you were about to ask Kyle to check on him, you heard the keys jingle in the door. Swinging your feet to the wooden floor, you got out of bed and met the gaggle of ladies in the foyer.

Cheek kisses, bright hellos and how-are-yous filled the once-quiet house, and you pocketed your phone, trying to distance yourself from the pang of concern. 

You tried to keep up with the fast-paced conversation, but you weren’t the social butterfly that Pidge was. Anjali, Bekah, and Cherise were all gushing about their own lives, and you had very little to share. They were polite enough, asking you about your studies and pretending to care when you answered them.

“Oh, cool,” Cherise said, sipping on wine out of one of Pidge’s nicer glasses, “Poems are cool.”

“Yeah, I was Juliet in that one play,” Bekah said, proudly. 

“And she’ll never let us forget it either,” Anjali rolled her eyes, and everyone laughed.

They were quick to forget you again, turning back to their recent Tinder date disasters and successes. 

“And this bloke - the one with the beard thing - he ask me and this other girl to the same restaurant, on the same night! I thought she was gonna kill him right there in front of the maître de!” Anjali lamented.

Cherise smiled like a Cheshire cat, 

“Lachlan is taking me on his boat next weekend.”

“We know! Shut up about the boat, you slag,” Bekah clipped. 

Cherise shot back quickly, 

“You’re just mad ‘cause Soap hasn’t texted you today.”

You gave the girls your full attention now. You darted your eyes to Pidge who rolled them, but looked otherwise unbothered. Bekah turned her phone around and you saw the image she was eager to display,

“He’s on bloody thin ice. I asked for a pic of him in his uniform, and all he sent me was a picture of some nasty sand!”

Your chest clenched tight enough that you couldnt breathe. It was your picture. Your morning photo from a few days ago. He was holding his breakfast, outstretched, and you could even see your hair tie on his wrist, the rolling dunes of the desert stretching out before him into infinity. 

“Men, am I right?” Anjali finished her wine. 

Maybe she was right. 

SATURDAY MORNING

You’d slept beside Anjali that night, sharing the bed willingly but not enthusiastically. She had snored through most of it, and you’d barely gotten any sleep. It wasn’t just her snoring that kept you up. In fact, you were using her as a scapegoat. You had been thinking about Johnny. 

It was like you were having a war in your mind. On one hand, it was just a picture of some sand, but on the other, you had no idea how many texts they had shared before or after that. Your heart broke easily, shattering melodramatically, whining about how you weren’t special and that if you didnt control yourself, you’d be sorry for it. He was just a playboy, just like everyone said.

Your brain, however, begged you to see reason. He sent her a picture of sand, not his naked torso, and he had forced his teammates to text you your passcode when he went on his mission. Surely that was enough proof that he cared about you and not Bekah.

It wasn’t enough, said the heart. 

It has to be enough, said the head. 

It shouldn’t even be happening, said the soul. 

You watched the sun peek through the blinds just as they had when you’d been wrapped in Johnny’s arms, naked and warm against his pink skin. 

You sighed and got up to shower. 

The party was at two, so you had plenty of time. You made it over to Ettrick’s early to help set up, walking alone since you knew the others would be in heels and wouldn’t all fit in the car. You’d brought flats, sensible but stylish, and a comfortable, albeit sparkly, maxi dress. You felt like shit. Sleep would have been nice, you thought. 

Hamish had delivered all of the boxes for you this morning, and the wait staff at Ettrick’s was setting it out for you. You rearranged it as artfully as you could, and you were just about finished when your phone buzzed.

Mo Chroi: phone’s alive! sorry i disappeared on you thief. forgive me?

You: glad youre ok

You: party starts soon

You: cookies.jpg

You: dessert_table.jpg

Mo Chroi: wow! did you do all that? pigeon is gonna be chuffed

Mo Chroi: heading out to the next spot

Mo Chroi: helicopter2.jpg

You: want me to tell Bekah hi? she was waiting on you to text her back last night

Mo Chroi: ?? no 

Mo Chroi: why 

Mo Chroi: what did she say

Mo Chroi: thief? 

You: just that she was hoping you would text her back. idk

You thought about it for a little while before sending a final text.

You: i think she wanted more than just a sunrise. 

SATURDAY NIGHT

You had three missed calls from Johnny, but you were too busy trying to deal with gift unwrapping, keeping the peace at the over-crowded tables, and rushing out appetizer trays when the wait staff became too overwhelmed. It was chilly tonight, but you were sweating under your long dress. 

You thought about what you’d said to Johnny, and you were mad at yourself for trying to get a rise out of him. You didn’t want to be the one playing games, and you needed to curb your jealousy. He was allowed to text whoever he wanted, just like you were.

You: sorry. cant pick up. busy with your sister

You: champagne.jpg

Mo Chroi: answer my calls thief

Mo Chroi: i have to drive the rig but im calling you as soon as we get to our site

Mo Chroi: trucks.jpg

Mo Chroi: at least tell me when you get back. promise

You: promise

SUNDAY, 0200

You: i made it back to my apartment. hamish drove me. train was down for maintenance.

You: marlowe-in-a-bag.jpg

You: marlowe is mad that i was gone

Mo Chroi: im glad youre alright.

Mo Chroi: gaz took this at our training today

Mo Chroi: group_pic2.jpg

You: yall look tough

You: whos the one in the middle

Mo Chroi: thats the captain and ghost has the dog

Mo Chroi: go to bed thief. its late 

Mo Chroi: sunrise2.jpg

Mo Chroi: can i call you later? its important

You: ok

SUNDAY, NOON

You woke to the sound of rain. A loud peal of thunder pulled you from the darkness of your sleep. You would have stayed with Pidge, but you just couldn’t face his bed again. Hamish was happy to be your chauffeur, even after you learned that the train was out of service. You tried to buy him some gas, but he adamantly refused. 

A headache stung behind your eyes, drilling into you, punishing you for the champagne. You hadn’t been drunk, but it had been sweet, and now you were paying the price for your sugar rush. You checked your phone.

Pidge: hHad such a great night!!. Thanku for everytingf i lov youuuu!!

Pidge: omg Anji just boked inthe sink

You didn’t reply. She was probably still asleep, along with the rest of the household. There was nothing from Johnny, yet. It wasn’t unusual. He was busy with terrorism, you figured. He would text you if he wanted to text you. 

Digging in your freezer, you found some leftover soup and put it on to reheat. Your phone rang.

The selfie of you and Johnny at Glencoe flashed onto your screen. You let it ring again before you picked up.

“Hey,” you said softly, your voice still hoarse from sleep.

“You still asleep, thief. I’m sorry to wake you,” he didn’t sound sorry. 

“It’s okay,” you sighed, “Just making some soup. Rainy here. Cold.”

You: rainy_window.jpg

He groaned, and you could hear the creak of a mattress in the background,

“Mm. Spent the whole day on my belly doing target practice. I miss home.”

Mo Chroi: sniperpractice.jpg

“Yeah? Looks sandy and hot. Too bad there’s no beach,” you stirred the soup.

“I miss you, mo mèirleach.”

You stopped stirring the soup. 

“I miss you, too.”

“Do you? Or are you cross about my texting Beks?”

“Both,” you went back to stirring the soup.

“Sent it to Hamish, too. You cross about tha’?”

You sent back silence. 

“And if I told you Bekah’s an old friend from grammar school, and that’s all she’ll ever be, would you believe me, lass?”

Silence was all you had to give, apparently. Finally, you poured the soup into a big bowl and set it down on your coffee table, shoving your papers and books aside, and said, 

“This soup looks amazing. Wanna see it?”

You: soup.jpg

“Thief. She’s just a friend.”

“I think there’s a song about this actually…”

“I think I’m fallin’ for you, and I need to know if you’re fallin’ for me, too.”

The bite of soup you were about to take hovered in your spoon, frozen in time. You could hear him breathing in your ear, waiting on your response. You could feel your heart shudder in your chest. 

“Johnny. We can’t…”

“Don’t. Don’t start with tha’ mess, thief. Tell me you aren’t fallin’ for me, and I’ll stop. No more texts. I’ll leave it alone.”

“She’ll never forgive me, Johnny. I don’t have anybody else, don’t you get that? I’m not even from here. I’m spending Christmas with her because I don’t have anywhere else to go. You have a whole town who loves you, and she’s your sister. She’ll forgive you in a heartbeat.”

“You have me, don’t you, thief?”

“Do I?”

It was his turn to push silence out through time and space, sending it up to the cellular satellites and mirroring it back down to you. Firing frustrated breathing noises across cables and wires and whatever other stupid fucking technology was happening to you right now. 

“Alright, lass.”

The phone beeped at you to inform you that the call had ended, but you kept it pinned on the shell of your ear, desperate for even a moment of that silence again. You regretted your honor the moment you’d held it up, and you were angry at yourself for keeping a promise you’d promised to keep. 

The phone clattered to the coffee table. The soup went cold. 

MONDAY MORNING

There was no sunrise text for you this time. Your phone didn’t have any notifications at all, in fact.  You made it all the way to the bus before you caved.

You: bus.jpg

You waited. Then, you waited some more. Nothing happened. You tried not to cry, and you failed. Luckily, the bus was empty, and the driver didn’t care about you enough to ask what was wrong.

WEDNESDAY MORNING

You: stuck in the library today. office is being cleaned.

You: library.jpg

Again, you were met with the cold emptiness of staring at your own responses at the bottom of your messages. You tried not to feel the sting of it, but you failed at that, too.

THURSDAY MORNING

You: giving a lecture today. kinda nervous about this one.

You: lectureroom2.jpg

You: hope youre okay

FRIDAY MORNING

Your phone buzzed three times, waking you up with a jolt. It was still dark outside. You fumbled with your phone, rushing to see the messages. 

Kyle: Hey this is Kyle, Soap’s mate. We’re heading back to the black site, so it’ll be a few weeks until you hear from him. 

Kyle: airplane_loading.jpg

You: thanks for telling me

Kyle: Soap asked me to tell you he promises??  I think thats what he said.

You: tell him i promise

You: and can you tell him that i made a mistake? he was right. about everything.

You: and im sorry.

Kyle: Will do!

You stared out of the window until the deep purples of night gave way to a cool pink morning glow, and you watched as the sun stretched its gentle arms up and over the river.

=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=

Chapter 07

[chosetherose]

🏈 said Taylor will be at the Chiefs/Saints game tomorrow in MO. Will she show?

Taylor Swift was not at Kelce Car Jam, Travis Kelce’s event on his birthday (Saturday, Oct. 5) — but she is expected to attend his next game, the Chiefs player says.

“She will not be here. I know she’s coming in for the game,” the tight end answered when asked about his girlfriend on Saturday, according to Page Six‘s coverage of the event.

Swift, who was last spotted with Kelce the weekend of the U.S. Open (Sept. 8), wasn’t seen at the Kansas City Chiefs’ last two away games. The Chiefs are scheduled for a home game against the New Orleans Saints on Monday (Oct. 7) at Arrowhead Stadium.

[benefits1986]

Salcedo x Binondo : My Kind of Yin-yang Sabado

Habang naglalaba at nagaalaga ng total of 4 babies ang Ravenclaw mom n'yo, kahit lumpuhan weekend, lalaban pa rin tayo kahit kanino. CHARAUGHT.

Slept soooo late kanina and had to drag myself outta bed because we had a series of revisits in the name of first too many firsts. Hahahahahahahahahahhaaha. Kalandian na naman po tayo but Shirakawago-kanal vibe. Can I just say, pagod na pagod na talaga ako pero gusto ko munang isampay 'yung mga damit ko para one less item off my weekend tambak errands list kasi bukas, dami pang gagawin, as in. Ginusto ko naman 'to, so KFINE.

Andami kong surprises today. Actually, sobrang simple ko lang talaga kahit parang ang arte, curated kuno and intimidating ako. SoKor x Japan x Baguio x Amazon from UK loot. WOOT. WOOT. As in. HUHUHUHUHUHU. Ang mo 'yung feeling na sobrang spoiled kong donut seeking for peace of mind szn ako? Ganun. Siguro kasi, sobrang dami lang din need to detox as we intentionally fill our glass. Need ko talagang mag-recharge as Haruki Murakami na: what I talk about when I talk about running. Pa-brainy 'yarn? Basta, ilang nare-read 'yung book. Hindi pa nabalik sa akin 'yung original book cover na version. So, ayun na nga. In fairness naman, ganda nung bagong cover kaso ang mahal po. As in. Ang mura lang nung previous edition. Going back to the loot. I got a bunso, my 4th baby as Ravenclaw pet mom. This time around, it's a Tamagochi na Harry Potter. HUHUHUHUHU. Pa-Xmas gift na raw kahit alam na scrooge ako. Sweet noh? Grabe talaga. As in kilig-kilig 100000 ako. Apaka babaw pero ganun talaga ako. Next is of course, a Royce chocolates. Hahahaha. Syempre, papaunbox ko sa frenny ko kasi namiss n'ya ako e and share sa office on Monday. TBH, I don't like chocolates except kasabay ng wine and cheese and cold cuts, so share na lang natin. Tapos tatay ko, wolfing them down e pinapapabawasan ko nga timbang kasi medyo mahina na pumadyak pero solid pa ring mambola. Hahahahahaha. Next is my Amazon pasabuy which is my crush Steven Bartlett's book, Diary of a CEO. Was hoping to get a signed copy sa pre-order kaso 'yung friend ko from London, hirap kausap. Hindi naman na ako choosy. Sana matapos ko 'to and ma-Venn Diagram ko kay Haruki Murakami. UGH. Ubos brain cells and ego na naman dito. Pero, gesi lungs for the greater good. CHZ. Forda bonus and the increase na pang-Wisteria szn x Oz hopefully next year. HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU.

And of course, the Good Shepherd ube jam from Baguio, my healing place na special delivery in Binondo today. Naubusan ako ng french beans na mura sooooo, next time na lang. Sanay naman akong mag-antay kahit madali akong ma-bore and mainip.

Was able to leave office work kinda early kahit may habols pa rin and arrived in Palanca around 8 pm for a reservation. Saks lang tbh. Pero okay naman 'yung attempt to fill the gap in the market ng modern Jap food, however, 'wag talaga magtitiwala sa TikTok at reels. LOL. Pero oks naman siya. 'Di na nga lang babalikan. Alam mo, madalas kasi, sobrang pa-indie ng mga food spots lalo mga Jap and SoKor ones. E hello, Dong Won and Hanakazu lang talaga malakas. Saka 'yung lagi kong nakakalimutang name na parang shady Korean resto sa Makati Ave area ang fail-proof.

Isa beses pa lang akong nag-Japan, pero, sobrang graphic ng food and culture and Kawaii comments sa akin, so tatak na tatak siya sa pagkatao ko. 'Yung 'di pa ako umaalis, kahit ikakahirap ko, gusto ko na agad bumalik ng mas marami pang budget na defying hyperinflation x 2 senior dogs + 1 kulit baby dog x 2 households. UGH. So ayun na nga. Jap restos in Pinas sobrang hirap niya pero dapat kasi nothing fancy. Ganun naman din mga walang magandang reviews and 'di trending local-approved spots sa Osaka, the kitchen of Japaaannn. Kaya sana lang, sana naman, makahanap na ako ng iba pang interesting na legit mala-Food Wars spots na Jap underrated spots in MNL. Nakakabore na e. LOL.

So ayun na ngaaa. Noong hayok pa ako sa work na akala mo pagmamay-ari ko ang kompanya kahit utusan lang naman ako, ganito siya. Drive at 6 am. Work until 12 midnight. 'Pag gusto mag-decompress ng kapurit na utak, sampa ng pa-Baguio sa Victory Pasay. Then, Baguio kagulo ng weekend. Balik Manila by 5 am then pasok sa work ulit ng 8 or 9 am. Ginawa po nating Tags ang Baguio for some time kasi nga, bobong nilalang pa tayo nung past life natin.

Or 'pag may work ng weekend, work until the morning and reward myself with Salcedo or Legazpi weekend market po tayo opo. May Cubao X or Antipolo drives, Pinto, Overlooking, Rizal, o kung anong pangtanggal shithole pa 'yan over the weekend ages ago. Tacca. Tapos balik sabak ulit sa Lunes. Pati long weekends, Christmas and New Year's Eve, work po tayo opo. Then inom ng malala. Then yosi. Then kain. Then kagulo. Then repeat... again and again and again. Kaya 'pag may work-related stuff akong natatanggap ng weekend, pet peeve ko 'yan. I cut it off. I don't wanna go there. Napagdaanan ko na kasi. Sorry... not sorry. Not anymore. Never again. Nakakaburn out. Nakaksuya. Kaya ko naman mag-work ng weekend, kung tutuusin lalo 'pag wala akong gala outside Manila lalo na ngayon, may AI na. HUHUHUHUHU. Full support ito sa org namin. IM LIKE OWEEEMMMM. Yassss, kween!

Pero, hindi siya sustainable. Parang gusto mo lang may patunayan. Bored ka lang. Or wala kang sense of work life balance. Or sadyang wala kang moral compass. Ako pinaguusapan dito a. I don't judge naman kasi basta 'di ako nadadamay. Kung baga, kanya-kanyang timelines 'yan.

Mahirap siya to be honest lalo 'pag tapos ko errands ko ng Saturday night. HAHAHAHAHA. Kaya lang, ayoko ng balikan ka-adikan ko kasi ang lala ng singil niya. Ang taas ng interest. Ang laki ng karma sa katawan at katauhan. DAMNNNGURLLLL. This morning, I revisited Salcedo, my first after pandemic and the dreaded lockdown. So much time passed, and seeing the OGs and the new breed is a mixed vibe. Salcedo started I think 2004. Not sure if legit top search ko kanina sa market mismo. Happy to back and happy to look back. :) And seeing the OG na expat (Madge) na ex-graphic designer turned baker and seller na machika in English with a twang, alam mo 'yung, malayo na pero, malayo pa. Also, 'yung solid na solid na paella negra na napaka mahal na, mhie. JUSQ. Pikitmata kasi nostaglic feeling ko in every bite. Lahat ng kamalian ko at kung ano mang progress ko kahit onti-onti pa ngayon, nagsama. Saka 'yung taho. Dalisay. Parang organic soy kinemerut siya. Saka basta. Iba talaga as a taho girly ang go-to, theoretically. May bounce yung sago. Hindi masyadong durog. Hindi masyadong buo 'yung pagkahalo nung taho sa baso. Sakto 'yung timpla based sa preference mo. Parang indie film shot so early in the morning. Kaka-Food Wars binge watch ko talaga 'to e o because of the four kinds of smokin' shrooms overload ito? :D

Sarap din kasi mag-people watch and social experiment na walang stimuli dito. As in. Mix of the 1%, the middle class and the masa. Para siyang Parasite, Pinas edition. LOL. Kaya, I keep coming back and saya lang kasi 'yung isa naming kasama as a probinsiyana, ngayon lang siya nakapunta and definitely, babalik siya with her hubby na super mukhang walang gagawing mabuti sa earth pero gentle giant na nagtanong kung saan ako nagpa-tat. Tapos nagpatat agad-agad ng Jap dream tat niya on the spot. Hahahahahahahaha.

Next, syempre, since busy talaga weekdays ko saka hindi ako nakakareply agad-agad sa personal PMs, hinataw natin today. Derecho Binondo after check out. Sana kasi may condo na lang ako sa area na 'to ng Makati kaso syempre, wala tayong pambili. LOL. One Salcedo Place ba 'yun or something similar or mas maganda apartment sa side ng Bosco pero 'yung hindi binabaha, please. CHZ. Ngayon din. CHAR. O, easy. Hindi ka nepo baby, mhie. :P

Ying-Ying po tayo for Binondo though bias ko Wai Ying. Ako lang 'yun. Pero in all honesty, mas maganda service and vibes ng Ying-ying. Mabait naman din sa Wai Ying kaso kakagaling ko lang doon a few months back with my travel buddies ata. 'Di ko na matandaan tapos 'pag umaabon, wala masilungan. E balmy day pa naman today in Manila.

Another first of many (LUHHHNDI MO. LUL.), I hope. :p Hahahahaha. And had the usual order pero tried out the Singaporean bihon something kasi nagkamali ng basa fog brain ko. Ganda pa ng table kasi framing is spot on tapos sakto hapon, wala ng rush masyado ang dayo crowd ng Binondo. HAHAHAHA. Next stop: photowalk in film early morning sa Binondo. United + craft beer + Daan Raon/Quaipo/Lawton. Bike in Intramuros pero ang lala ng pila ng Bambike. UGH. Kain ng ice cream sa Batalan ba 'yun. Oweeem. Basta dun. Then sunset in Intra + wine sa taas ng Bayleaf. Puro revisits ito. Putok na putok Strava walk edition dito. Photowalk ulit 'pag may energy pa sa Intra pero parang pagod na ako agad, tina-type ko pa lang ihhh. Basta dapat umayon sa weather na 'di biro makuha these days. LOLOLLOLLOLLOLL. Abangan. Need ko na yata matuto ulit mag-drive because ang arte ng mga babaeng independent pero pa-thirst trap na complicated overthinkers na hindi mo alam kung anong gusto andito naman ako FUCKKKKK... why not? :D Honestly, 'pag XX kasi, sobrang lala. Pati PMS nagkakaproblema agad. Tapos, ang daming drama. Tapos may side notes pa na: alam ko busy ka sa work kaya 'di ka nakareply... with pa-effect eyes. Aynako. Tusukin ko mata mo. Arte. Kainis. Puwede namang bullet points lang. Pero cutie chixxxxx kasi ihhh. I'm marupoklore talaga 'pag pa-sweet girl na flatypus. AHAHHAHAHHA. As in. Maroon heart pa. LOLOLLOLLOLL. Digital nomad pa ihhh.

Pero gusto ko na lang passenger princess Fiona, tbh. I fucking hate Manila drives kaya wala na talaga akong tiyagang mag-drive. Kakapagod tapos for sure 'di naman na puwede ang road rage and lit gas pedal. HAHAHAHHAA. Gusto ko na lang talaga 'di na lang ako magiisip at gagalaw kasi pagod na talaga mhie. LOL. Gusto ko na lang may maglalaba ng damit ko, magsasampay. Magluluto. Maglabas ng basura. Alagaan 'yung Tamagochi ko. Masahe ako pag stress ako. Tagalista sa grocery. Tagapamalengke ng sapsap. Taglinis. Tagayos ng kalat ko. Taga-gising ko. Tagapatulog ko. Taga-kalma ng delulu ko. Taga-ayos ng PL ko. Tagakain ng tira ko. Punasan ng kulangot ko 'pag tinotopak ako. Taga-hype. Pumalot ng poops ng 3 pet kids ko. Magpunas ng wiwi nila na sinasabay nila lagi sa meeting ko. Susunod sa lahat ng gusto ko ng walang reklamo, arte at drama. At syempre, super sungit ako kahit anong gusto, because Imma girl like that. Kuha na lang akong tambay na willing maging yaya-caregiver-driver noh? Ang mahal ng billable hours niyan for sure. Hahahaha. Kailangan ko talaga ng fundings na malala kasi andami kong listahan. Or baka gusto na lang maging plant na self-sustaining in this lifetime para less complications. :D :D :D :D Babaliw na naman meeeee. Saan 'yung ying-yang dito? 'Di ko na rin sure. ;P Bahala na lang si Batman. Pagod na meeee. Tapos na rin ang labada pero spin ko pa ulit ng 2x para mabilis maya-maya tuyo na. Then, pet babies kasi naiwan ko sila home alone since last night. Nagpapaawa na naman. Nagpapansin na naman na akala mo, buong lakas ko ng weekdays, nasa kanila na kahit gapang lusak mode na naman po tayo, pero go lungs para sa dog food at meds and maints nila.

Detox muna ako Sunday plus align meant sa calendars para sa work, para sa life. <3 Thank u, universe. You are sooo interesting this Q4. Keep it coming para hindi ako ma-bore.

[biyaself]

Issa Monday mood

[zillabean]

Happy Monday! The Hannicat and Will show returns! :3 Just a one shot today, Hannicat getting into a tight jam, as per his usual MO :3

[whooolaanmo]

Salamat Jaja 😊😘

1 box ( zesto box ) ng strawberry 🍓 🍓🍓 galing sa Public Market ng Baguio.

Yung bigla bigla may pumapasok ng kwarto at sisigaw ng gising na may pasalubong ako sayo strawberry strawberry jam yon lang naman ang bet mo.

JA : uuwi pa lang ako ng bahay namin,.. kita na lang tayo later o next week duduty ako bukas Monday back to work.

Me : nagkita na tayo ngayon haha 🤣🤣🤣 Good Morning Dra. JA saka na pag di ka busy, salamat sa inyo 2 ni Gelo ( bf ni Jaja si Gelo )

JA : ikaw pa ba lakas mo sa amin, sige na gising ka na, ok saka na lang mag catch up 😘😘😘

Mar. 20, 2022 07:50 am

[djmossback]

Spacebar 09/18/21

Third Space Saturday

Amii Stewart, Knock On Wood

Mantronix, Bassline

New Order, Everthings Gone Green

Wire, Ahead

DEVO, Time Out For Fun

Blaque. 808

Pet Shop Boys, West End Girls

Sade, Hang On To Your Love

Talking Heads, Crosseyed & Painless

Naked Eyes, Promises Promises

Cramps, Domino

Stevie Wonder, Master Blaster

Bob Marley & The Wailers, Rebel Music (3 O’clock Road Block)

Tower Of Power, Only So Much Oil In The Ground

Ray Bryant Combo, Madison Time

Captain Sensible, WOT!

Hot Chocolate, Every 1’s A Winner

Nazareth, Hair Of The Dog

Soho, Hippychick

Heaven 17, Penthouse & Pavement

Zapp, More Bounce To The Ounce

Booker T, Hip-Hug Her

Sparkletones, Black Slacks

Sonics, Cinderella

Otis & Carla, Tramp

James Brown, Papa’s Got A Brand New Bag

Bee-Gees, Jive Talkin’

Herbie Hancock, Chameleon

Skee-Lo, I Wish

Cure, The Love Cats

Jay Z and Jermaine Dupree, Money Ain’t A Thing

Sleaford Mods w/Amy Taylor, Nudge It

Londonbeat, I’ve Been Thinking About You

PJ Harvey, Down By The Water

Kylie Minogue, Can’t Get Blue Monday Out Of My Head

Fred Schneider, Monster

Frankie Ford, Sea Cruise

Ting Tings, Let Me Go

Bill Justis, Raunchy

ZZ Top, Waiting For The Bus/Jesus Just left Chicago

Ruts, Savage Circle

Stooges, Loose

Bob Seger System, Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Man

MC-5, Kick Out The Jams

Toto, Hold The Line

Thundercat, Them Changes

Kendrick Lamar, Yah

Slingshot, Do It Again Billie Jean

Robert Palmer, You Are In My System

Mos Def, Ms. Fat Booty

Cameo, Back And Forth

Positive K, I Got A Man

David Johansson, Funky But Chic

Michael Gregory, No Ordinary Romance

Lauryn Hill, Everything Is Everything

Foster The People, Pumped Up Kicks

Kraftwerk, Taschen Echner

Tilt, Arcade Funk

Musique, The Bush

David Bowie, D.J.

Jessie Belvin, Goodnight My Love

Mostly, I thought it went well. I need to shuffle some things, and make some plans. Mostly I think about it all month, and wait til the last minute anyway. A man my age needs to take notes. I’m never going to do too much planning, but I am going to do some. But I will never, ever plan the sets in advance. I like the rush of the wire act.

Oh, and thanks as always to Will for letting me do this, and the staff for taking care of me, and DJ IGA for coming by to hang.



[doomandgloomfromthetomb]

Spiral Wave Nomads - First Encounters

More very tasty jams from Spiral Wave Nomads, whose 2019 debut was a fave. That first LP was made long-distance style; as the title of First Encounters tells us, this is the first time that guitarist Eric Hardiman and drummer Michael Kiefer got together in person. The chemistry between the two is readily apparent. This record has all the stuff you want. Majestically crunchy Bardo Pondian zones, slo-mo Sun City Girls situations, abstract amp abuse and Crazy Horse-style mayhem (think of the feedback laced landscapes of Arc!). A Bandcamp Monday delight ... 

[jonesywrites]

Today’s mood.

[kalawakan-fam]

Presenting: Class 2020 of Kalawakan!!

@nangunguhang-alien . Si Tito ‘yung class president niyo. Lagi siyang kasama ni titser, tapos lagi special mention. Kapag wala si Ren, malungkot magturo si titser. Kapag wala si titser, sya din ang "pacifier" ng classroom.

Lagi nyang linya.

"Guys! Please keep quiet!"

@dumdum-things Si Top 2. Dumdum - Vice president ng klase. Siya yung laging nakasunod kay president. Kaya kapag nag wawalk out si president siya yung tiga sigaw ng "Guys respeto naman!"

Sya rin po yung laging nakangiti kapag nakakakita ng titser! "Gooooooooood mooooorning titser!!"

@atomicdump Si Ruru, Siya yung kaklse mong mahilig magsayaw, kada first day ng school, hindi mawawala sa intro nya ang dance number. Bibo kid #1. Punishment nya yung sumayaw sa harao ng klase sabi ni titser, pero nag uubos lang talaga ng oras si titser dahil wala na syang maituro.

@eccentrieth Si Riri, Siya po yung tiga lista ng noisy and standing. Hindi pwedeng di mo sya bestfriend kase laging may minus payb kapag naililista sa board.

Lagi din syang hirap mag lista kasi nga nililibre sya ng mga kaklase nya para hindi sya mailista.

Malaki tumanaw ng utang na loob. Puro utang na loob nalang.

Lagi din napapagalitan kapag maingay klase.

Lagi nyang linya:

"Maam kapag maingay, ako agad?"

@starsandrocketsss Ang Dynamic duo. Source ng food pag fieldtrip. Parang bag ni dora yung bag nila, hindi nauubusan ng laman. Laging may binabatong chichirya at imported na food galing kay mommy nya. Laging may baong pagkain san man pumunta.

@medyo-gaga Si Kyu, Sya po ang maldita ng klase. Tinitignan sya ng lahat. Mahirap kalaban sa classroom. One day, friends kayo. The next day, kaaway kana ng group mates nya. Takot lahat ng faculty dito. Ganon sya kamaldita,  kahit guidance sinukuan sya. Best friend sila ng principal dahil minsan maghapon sila magkakwentuhan dahil nireport ng kaklse.

Sya yung nagtitisod kapag dumaan ka sa pwesto nya Tapos sasabihin "di kasi tumitingin" 

@nijuugo Si Cath, Ito po sobrang bait nito. Hindi ito napipikon. Laging naka smile. Kaklse mong tatawa tawa lang pero tahimik sa bahay. Masarap po sya kasama at hindi nauubos yung tawa nya.

Favorite line: Titser! May joke ako!

@garlicbraed Si Aira, Siya po yung kaklse nyong sobrang tahimik. Hindi tumatayo sa upuan. Uupo pag pasok, tatayo para mag recess, tapos tatayo nalang ulit kapag uwian na.

Hindi sya maingay sa upuan. Mas trip nya yung mag day dream. Favorite hobby nya yung mag day dream at matulog. Mahilig din sya mag color ng coloring book at mag damit ng dressup paper doll.

@adobongmayfeelings Si Jed, Sya po yung isa pang bida ng classroom. Jollibee. Makarinig ng music, automatic naka smile na sya. The rest is history. Bestfriend nya si bibo kid #2. Tiga sample sya. Pero sya din talaga gusto din mag sample.

Favorite line "Sasayaw na yan! (Mamaya ako tatalunin kita!)"

@lovingshannen Si Shannen, Anak ng president ng PTA, hindi umuuwi kapag hindi si mommy ang susundo. Laging may hawak na barbie doll sa classroom. Hindi pinapagalitan ng titser. May backpack syang sailormoon/barbie/unicorn. Hindi nawawala ang bright colors sa gamit nya.  Note. Siya yung may 64 crayola sa bag / may 128 crayola sa bag.

@chieesecake Si Chie, Siya yung kaklse mong hindi nauubusan ng joke at kwento. Laging nasa likod at may ka chika chika. Laging number 1 sa noisy. Pero binubura din nya at wlang palag si tiga lista.

Lagi syang may baong funchum at cream-o/rebisco at kinakain nya habang nakikipag tawanan kaklse nya. Perfect yun sa thermos na baunan nyang may lamang tubig na malamig na naka balot sa towel.

Favorite line:

"Uy alam ba, dating sementeryo tong school"

@rae-ngoaway Si Rae, Anak ng atty/doctor. Laging nakasasakyan papasok at pauwi ng school. Laging naka tali ang buhok. May baon syang pagkain na complete meal may side dish pang mixed vegetables. Hindi nawawala si yaya kapag lunch at recess. Laging may bimpo sa likod pero inaalis din naman.

Favorite line: "Wala kayo sa daddy/mommy ko!"

@thefatherofkhalebandanwyll​, Si Darryl Sya yung parang anak ng diyos. Magugulat ka nalang nasa misa sya sya every first monday ng buwan. Pero the rest ng buwan, puro kalokohan ang ginagawa sa class room. Sya yung kaklse mong nag fafade away 3 points shot sa basurahan ng papel na binilog bilog nya habang nag tuturo si titser tapos kapag hindi nya na shoot, pupulutin nya tapos fade away shoot ulit. Favorite line " 3..2..1.. Kobe Bryant for threeeee!!!"

@babaengartsy​ Si Rio, Ang lakambini ng klase. Sobrang hinhin, nakakahiya lapitan kasi mapapasorry ka kahit wala kang ginagawa. Tumatawa pero nakatakip ang bibig. "Hihihi"  Laking panlaban sa muse at mr and ms ng school. Bata palang natuturuan na mag ayos kaya ang ganda talaga. Lagi syang iniirapan ni maldhital ghurl dahil ayaw nya ito kalaro. Favorite line:"My name is.... I, thank you!" *sigaw ng buong klase*

@nagiisangtiyak​ Si Alexa. Kaklase nyong MIA, tapos magugulat ka nalang sasabibhin ni titser na,makikita daw natin sya sa TV. Working ghurl at early age. Artista. Laging nasa workshop at taping. Bigla biglang pinu pull out sa klase. Minsan nalang makita, nag mamaldita pa. Besties sila nila ng maldita ghurls.

@n-dv​ Si Nico, Ito po yung literal na kaklase nyong barsiti. Tinitilian ng ibang school kapag inter-school. Malakas ang dating sa chicks. Malakas ang awra. Dadaan lang,pero nagtitilian babae. Laging mabango. Laging amoy presko at bagong ligo.

Siya yung kaklse nyong laging may panyo. At laging naghihilamos.

Kahit titser, gustong-gusto sya. Paborito at heartrob ng school.

Favorite line: "Guys wait lang, papicture daw"

@ynalwls​ Si ley, Kaklase nyong anak ng bgry captain kaya hindi nyo masumbong sa teacher. Kasundo ni bhosz maldita. Tandem sila mambully kapag walang teacher. Pero kapag nanja si teacher mababait. Matataas din ang grade at laging bida sa show n tell. Gawa naman ng iba yung assignments and projects nila.

Favorite line :

"Ayan  pampan ka kaseeee." "Ay eeeepaaaal"

@tired-eyesv​ Kaklse mong active sa extra curricular. Kapag kailangan ng athlete number 1 sa exempted to sa finals dahil mag cocompete outside the school. Laging laman ng tarpoline. Kesyo mapa sports, mapa journalism, at kahit dance sport. Kinakareer nya ang extra curricular. Tumataas ang grade dahil sa exemptions.

Matalino at talented. Waging wagi. Kaya laging unang tinatawag nila titser dahil magaling.

Favorite line: "Watch me. Learn from the expert guys!"

@babaengmadaldal​ Si Jai, Kaklse mong titser's pet. Anak din ng titser kaya peborit nila kumare na titser din. Mahilig tumambay sa faculty. At tignan mga grades ng mga kaklse. Lagi din syang kaaway ng smart ones dahil sinasabihan syang sipsip sa titser.Favorite line: "Maam, nakalimutan nyo po kunin yung assignment last week"

@katedoesntmatter​ Si Kate, Kaklse mong hindi mo patatalo sa chinese garter at lusong tinik at luksong baka. Sila yung kapag umayaw sya, wala nang maglalaro. Mader sa 10-20. Dakilang taga saway sa magugulong kaklse. Peace keeper sa classroom. Lahat nakikinig kapag silaang nag sasalita. Sgt. @ arms at hindi mo maloloko. Sila ang katuwang ni president kapag wala si maam. Pero number 1 na maingay kapag breaktime.Favorite line: "10-20 tayo, sali kayo dali!habang wala si titser"

@hotdogogh​ Si Edmund, Siya yung kaklse nyong Juan Luna ng klase, bata palang potensyal nang pintor. Sobrang artsy nya. Kumpleto lagi ang art materials nya sa mapeh. May 64 crayola sya. May pentel na iba iba kulay, may water color,may drawing book na makapal, may poster paint, may coloring pencils. Bilang nya bawat isa. Kaya kapag may nanghihiram, alam nya kung ano ang nawawala at kung sinong nakawala. Very good sya sa arts at nkikipag sabayan din sa music, sya din yung mahilig tumugtog ng instrument sa classroom para mag jam at magkantahan lahat. Arts and performing arts genius daw sya. Thanks sa genes nya.

Favorite line nya: "Okay lang manghiram, basta ibabalik nyo ha"

@hishiddenletters​ Si Sean, Sya po yung kaklse nyong lapitan ng mga umiiyak. Magaling magpatahan at mag payo. Kaklse nyong matured agad sa murang edad. Daddy sa classroom. Very mabait at maunawain. Tiga awat ng nag aaway dahil pambata lang daw yung away.

Sya rin ang kuya Kim, ang pinanlalaban sa quiz bee dahil ang daming general knowledge na alam. Laging may trivia at life hacks.

Sya rin yung minsan na ground sa saksakan dahil pinatunayan nyang nakakakuryente kapag sinundot ng tinidor.

Favorite line: "Alam nyo ba, na ang...."

@tanginate

​ Si Nate, Sya po yung naka PE uniform  sa grad pic pero pinahiram lang ng isusuot. Ayaw nya tumingin kasi masama loob nya sa nag pipicture, di sya pinayagan mag wacky.

@the-lost-boy-from--neverland​ Si Jay, Eto yung hindi palaging kasali sa laro. Sya yung burot sa taguan, laging taya. Lagi ding di mahanap kalaro nya sa uwian, kasi sinusundo na pala ng serbis. Lagi din binubully

@hugoterongmakata​ , Si ZeddSya yung kaklse mong late, kesyo traffic daw or may banggaan sa kanto, pero ang totoo, late lang nagising. Late na nga pumasok, natutulog pa sa klase.

Sya din yung kaklse mong chill lang sa classroom. Hindi namomoblema sa grades. Hindi daw nag aral, pero ang taas naman ng score sa exams.

Kaklse nyong hindi nyo makikitang may hawak na handouts/notes at natutulog lang pero nakakasagot sa recitation.

Very active kapag wala si titser. Sya yung pinaka maingay kapag walang ginagawa. Instant noisy. Instant maligalig. Kapag nag sama sama sila ng top 1 maingay at jollibee, disaster.

Favorite line: "ZzzzzzzzZzZ.."

@istambai​ si Jovic, Siya yung kaklse nyong pasimple sumuntok ng jokes. Mahilig mag biro. In short, sya yung clown ng classroom. Lahat ng bagay joke para sa kanya. Tinatawanan kahit.pag piyok ni titser. Kapag tinanong mo kung anong nakakatawa, tawa lang ulit isasagot sayo.Tahimik din sya. Kapag tulog. Favorite line: "HahahahHahahaahHahaha. May joke ako HahahahaHahaha. *hanggang tumawa na lahat wala pa yung joke*"

@bbarican​, Si Bianca . Sya po ang kaklse nyong "mother", may maternal instincts tinawag na anak ang mga kaklse. Nagprapractice na agad sa murang edad. Sya din yung kaklse mong marunong at magaling magluto. Laging bida sa cooking class at baking class. Marunong sa kusina kaya kapag may food to bring sya lagi engrande magdala. Madalas sya din ang tiga payo at tagapagpatahan. Nilalapitan ng mga sawi at early age. Mahal nya ang lahat kahit ang malditah gHurLsz. Peborit dn ni titser kasi mabait. Lagi din siyang may dalang tarot.

Favorite line: "Oh mga anak....."

@seaimyourmanx​, si Bej. Sya yung kaklse nyong parang tiga higher batch. Isa sa dumbohala sa klase. Laking nasa likod ng pila. Kapag pinapa pila sa klase, alam nya na agad na nasa likod sya. Mukha syang alpha pero mabait sya. Mahilig magpatawa at makinig sa kwento.  Nabubuhay ang klase kapag humihirit sya ng mga banat nya," haaaww " at "gileeeew"

Favorite line: "Tangina snacks!"

@98fourth​, si Por. Sya yung kaklse mong jammers. Maganda boses. Malamig. Kapag break time, humihirit yan ng "ala-ala'y bumabalik..." Sarap makinig sa klase kapag wala si titser kasi instant soundtrip agad. Buhay ang patay na oras sa classroom kapag nagsasama sila ng jammerz. Madaming kinikilig sa boses nya. At early age, tinitilian na din sya ng ghurls. Sya yung tipo ng mHaditUh ghurLs. 

Favorite line: "1..2..3.. *kanta* "

@pikelerick​ , Si Erick. Your resident tito in da haus, sya yung kapartner na jammerz ni songer. Hindi nawawala sa bitbit nya ang gitara. Magugulat ka nalang bigla nalang tutugtog tong mga to sa may hagdanan/klase tapos lahat nag kakantahan na. Paborito nyang kaskasin sa gitara ang eheads at parokya. Born-rockstar. At early age, music prodigy daw sya.  Takot kaklase nya sa kanya kasi ang tapang ng dating nya. Pero soft boi pa din ang ating resident tito. Mabait at mapagbigay. 

Favorite line:

"Wish 107.5..."

[isitgintimeyet]

Road To The Aisles

AO3

Previous

Another weekend, another chapter. Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Thanks to everyone once again. Your response has been great x

Thanks to @mo-nighean-rouge @happytoobserve @wickedgoodbooks for all their support

This chapter is not really nsfw, just a bit suggestive in places 

Chapter 9: A Nuptial Intention

Mary: You are exquisite. You're timeless. And you have the love of a man named Steve. A man who, while you were away having meetings about mozzarella, said to me: 'I can't believe she picked me. I can't believe I'm marrying the most incredible woman I've ever met.' So that tells me that this marriage of yours is not only gonna work, it's gonna last forever.

-The Wedding Planner

The sun was just beginning to set as, with stomachs full of Mrs. Crook’s chicken casserole and apple pie, they made their way outside to sit by the fire pit that Murtagh had prepared. Jenny and Claire wrapped tartan blankets around themselves as protection from the chill of a typical Scottish summer’s evening. The post-prandial whisky they were all freely drinking also helped to fuel their internal heating systems.

“Is this the whisky that we’re launching in Japan?” Jenny swirled the amber liquid around her glass before sniffing it and taking a large sip.

“Aye,” Brian responded. “What ye’ll be working on when ye come back tae work.”

“I’ve loved ma time at home with the bairns but I’m ready fer work now, and the Japanese launch sounds so exciting. Ian was telling me about the advertising agency and --“

Brian laughed. “No shop talk this evening, lass. Ye’ll join us fer our meeting Monday morning, then?”

Jenny hesitated and glanced across at Claire.

“No, go Jenny. Seriously, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Actually I’ll look after the kids for you, if you want.”

“Ye want tae look after all three children? On yer own?” Murtagh smiled.

“Nah, only two. I’m taking William intae the distillery wi’ me. I want tae show him round, ye ken.”

“Show him off, more like.” Murtagh commented.

“Aye, weel, why don’t we all go in Monday morning?” Brian joined in. “Claire can mind the bairns for a while, if that’s alright, while we have the meeting. Then we can all have a bite tae eat in our new café, see what we think about it. Sounds good?”

There was a general murmur of agreement. Brian rubbed his hands together. “Right, it’s a plan.”

Jamie watched Claire, sitting on the other side of the fire pit, next to Jenny. She shifted in her chair and tucked her feet under her bottom with the blanket tight around her. The firelight played with the natural highlights in her hair, glimpses of gold and auburn amongst the brown. Her whisky eyes gazed into the fire, unfocused, dreaming. Those whisky eyes, Jamie thought. Whisky eyes…

He filed that thought away for Monday’s meeting and brought his attention back to what he really wanted to discuss with his family.

“Speaking of plans…” Jamie began as he felt Claire’s gaze switch to him, burning as hot as the fire. “... er… plans, aye. Claire and I would like tae get married this year. Here at Lallybroch.”

“That’s great news.” Brian was genuinely pleased. “But, Claire, is that what ye want? Dinna do it tae please us. It’s yer day, after all.”

“It was my idea, Brian. I would love to be married here at Lallybroch.”

“As long as it’s what ye want. So, we’ll need tae hire a marquee. When were ye thinking of having it?” Brian pulled his phone out of his pocket and started rolling through screens, hunting for the calendar. “Time’s pushing on fer this year, ye ken. It’s July now.”

“You hire a marquee for the Hallowe’en party every year, don’t you?” Claire looked over at Jamie. Memories of that party ran through her mind. Instinctively, she caught her lower lip between her teeth. Jamie smiled softly, her glass face making her thoughts obvious to him.

“Ye’re no’ thinking about a Halloween-themed wedding, are ye?” Murtagh’s blunt question brought Claire back to the present.

“Weel, I dinna think we have tae look verra far for a witch, ye ken,” Jenny muttered.

Murtagh burst out laughing. “Ye’re no’ wrong there.”

“We thought tae have the wedding the week before the Halloween party, then that gives time for the marquee tae be redressed with pumpkins and cobwebs. And if Isobel could take William back tae Geneva on Sunday, then Claire and I could have a week’s honeymoon somewhere, providing she lets me change ma days with him.”

“And we’ve already asked Jamie to be the ring bearer.”

“Aye, I ken. He was that proud. He’s going tae wear a kilt wi’ the men and stand at the front wi’ his Da and his Uncle… that’s what he said.” Jenny hesitated. “Och, sorry, that sounded awfa presumptuous there, about Ian. I mean, I…”

“Weel,  I’m sorry Jenny but…” Jamie paused for a second before a broad smile crossed his face as he looked across at his oldest friend. “Dinna fash. Of course I want ma childhood friend tae be ma best man. So Ian, will ye do me that honour?”

“Weel, I’m no’ really sure. I may no’ be available on that day.” Ian returned Jamie’s smile. “Joking. Of course, I would be honoured tae stand by yer side. Thank ye.”

Brian raised his glass. “I think this call fer a toast. Tae Claire and Jamie… slainté.”

As the fire died down, blankets and whisky were no longer enough to ward off the chill of the night. With silent agreement, they all gathered up glasses, blankets and, in Jamie’s case, empty biscuit wrappers, and headed for bed.

Murtagh walked alongside Claire and, with a hand on her arm, pulled her back from the others.

“Jes’ wanted tae check on ye. Are ye alright... wi’ Jamie taking William intae the distillery tae show him off? I dinna want ye tae be upset or…” he looked slightly uncomfortable with his display of concern.

Claire smiled. “Murtagh, thank you but I’m fine with it. Truly. I wouldn’t want Jamie to treat William any differently than he would any child we’ll have. And I know this is exactly what he will do with them. So don’t you worry about me… but I do appreciate it.”

“As long as ye’re alright, lass. Our Jamie can sometimes be a wee bit headstrong, ye ken. Let me tell ye, ye’re the best thing that could have happened tae him. And tae get married here at Lallybroch. It’s jes’ wonderful. His Mam would have loved it.”

And with that Murtagh reached in his pocket for a handkerchief and quickly walked off ahead of Claire, back into the house.

****************

Sunday morning dawned bright and sunny with not a cloud in sight. With six adults and three children to feed, breakfast was a slightly chaotic event. Jamie sat and gave William his bottle while Claire made toast topped with Mrs. Crook’s home-made raspberry jam. Ian took wee Jamie upstairs for teeth cleaning and a wash.

Jenny sat with Maggie, sharing a bowl of porridge. “Ye still taking ma son fer a walk this morning, man tae man?”

Jamie nodded as William gave a soft milky belch in agreement.

“He’s verra excited tae go with ye. He’s been thinking about yer wedding and has some suggestions fer ye. I’m no’ sure quite what they are but Ian’s been reading a lot about cowboys tae him. Jes’ warning ye.”

Claire excused herself and left Jamie and Jenny chatting in the kitchen as she headed back to their bedroom to prepare for the morning.

She came back downstairs to find Jamie alone in the hallway. He caught her arm and backed her against the wood panelling, his body close to hers, one hand resting on the wall either side of her head.

“Where’s William?” Claire looked around.

“Och, Mrs. Crook has dropped by and doesna want tae let hold of the wee man. He’s fine, being royally entertained. She didna approve of ma actions, but is besotted with the result.”

He reddened slightly, remembering the tongue lashing Mrs. Crook had given him on a previous visit. She had drawn herself up to her full five foot one inch height, reaching up to shake her finger at him as she scolded him for his irresponsible behaviour.

“Anyways,” he continued. “What are ye up tae this morning, with those wee denim shorts on and that t-shirt with yer nipples poking through the size of cherries?”

Claire glanced down. “They aren’t poking through, Jamie.”

Jamie moved even closer, placing his legs either side of Claire’s. His breath was hot against her skin, still carrying the scent of strong coffee and sharp raspberry. “Weel, I ken they are no’ at the moment, Sassenach, but if I nibble yer ear jes’ so… and run my tongue around yer sweet lips…”

Claire playfully pushed his chest. “Jamie, no, not here. You’ve promised your nephew a walk and…”

Not discouraged, Jamie continued to lightly kiss along Claire’s collarbone. She reached her fingers into his hair and pulled his head away.

“What is it with you and Lallybroch? Every time we come here, you’re like a sex-starved adolescent.”

“But with a better technique, I hope Sassenach.” He muttered quietly into her ear. “I dinna ken… all I want tae do is take ye tae ma bed and fuck ye. I want ye tae make those wee noises when ye come and then I want tae make ye come again as ye cry out and call ma name. And tae ken that it’s me and only me that does that tae ye, there’s no’ greater feeling than that. Ma cock is hard jes’ thinking about it.”

He ground his hips against her to prove his point.

A small cough came from somewhere behind Jamie.

“Unca, are ye no’ ready fer our walk? Mam has put sun cream on me and William, so we’re ready tae go. Are ye, Unca?”

Jamie took a couple of deep calming breaths before answering.

“Aye, lad. Jes’... er… jes’ give me a moment. I need to have a quick word wi’ yer auntie. Tell yer mam I’ll be there presently.”

As the little boy ran off, Claire dissolved in giggles. Jamie discretely adjusted himself as he pulled away from her and sat on the stairs, still breathing deeply before eventually following his nephew into the kitchen.

“See you later,” Claire called after him. “Looking forward to it.”

**************

With William firmly strapped to Jamie’s chest, Jamie set off on the familiar path to the grove of trees and then onto the nearby pond. His nephew strode alongside, occasionally having to do a quick run to keep up with his uncle. Jamie reduced his stride and slowed down to accommodate the four year old’s legs.

At first they walked together in companionable silence, broken only by the sound of their feet on the well worn path and the occasional squeal from William. He kicked his legs excitedly.

“William likes this.” Wee Jamie commented.

“Aye, he’ll like the feel of the sun on his bare legs. I dinna think he likes his sun hat, mind. But there’s a lot of new sounds and sights fer him to learn.”

“And smells.” Wee Jamie spoke mischievously. “I just did a bottie cough back there.”

“Ah well, better out than in, I dare say.”

As they reached the pond, Jamie’s memories turned to many years before, when Murtagh had taught him how to skim stones. Now it was Jamie’s turn to pass this onto his nephew, and eventually his son.

Under Jamie’s instruction, the little boy scoured the waterside for suitable stones, bringing them to him for approval. With a large enough supply to hand, Jamie crouched behind his nephew, guiding with his hands until, on his own, the little boy managed to set a stone skimming once across the still water.

Flushed with success, Wee Jamie went to join his uncle, now sitting on an old tree trunk.

“That was grand,” the little boy told his uncle. “D’ye think I could teach Maggie and William tae do that?”

“ I dare say ye could. But no’ yet. They’d be too busy trying tae eat the stones, would they no’?”

Wee Jamie sat quietly for a minute, kicking his heels against the tree trunk.

“About yer wedding, Unca, I been thinking. Mebbe ye, me, and Da can arrive on horses… come galloping over the fields.”

“Weel, that's a grand notion. But think about the mess. All the people in their finery treading in the horse shi- poo.”

Wee Jamie giggled. “Ah no, I dinna think about that.”

“And we’ll all be in kilts, ye dinna want yer thighs chafing, do ye? And remember we dinna wear anything under the kilt, we dinna want tae be getting a sore willie either now, do we?”

“I suppose no’... Da says kilts are handy -- ye can stand up and piss anywhere. Can I do that then Unca?”

“Aye lad, and if it’s snowing I’ll teach ye tae write yer name in the snow. Anyway we best be heading back, William’ll soon be wanting his milk.”

Jamie started walking away from the pond with his nephew skipping alongside him. He looked down as Wee Jamie took his hand.

“And remember laddie,” Jamie smiled. “Not a word tae yer mam about the pissing.”

“Nah,” Wee Jamie agreed. “That’s jes’ between us men.”

[7-wonders]

Pour One Out

Summary: After lashing out at Michael, you find yourself at the receiving end of his rage. You stand up for yourself and decide to, in the words of Tom Haverford and Donna Meagle, “treat yo’self” to a night out with friends. Alcohol and anger make for great choices, right?

Word Count: 3973

A/N & Warnings: Warnings first: Alcohol, physical violence, people being mean to each other, cussing, partying. Hi there! Once again, I’m terrible at posting this story. It’s one of my favorite long-form pieces that I’ve ever written, but I’m still incapable of sticking to a schedule. Anyways, this is part 5 of my ‘Mad Love’ series, which I’ll have linked below. Feedback is always appreciated; leave me a like, reblog, comment, or ask letting me know what you think. My inbox is always open if you want to chat :)

Read Mad Love (part one) HERE | Read Totally F***ed (part two) HERE | Read The Isle of Flightless Birds (part three) HERE | Read A Hard Day’s Night (part four) HERE

The cursor on the screen in front of you blinks constantly, silently asking you when you’re going to start typing. This essay isn’t going to write itself, but you can’t seem to muster up enough willpower to actually start putting words onto the paper. In all honesty, it’s hard to work on homework lately. Being the Antichrist’s unwilling wife and knowing of his plans for the apocalypse really makes essays on Plato’s Allegory of the Cave seem trivial, if they weren’t already trivial before this ordeal started. So you stare at the screen, zoning out while occasionally nodding your head so that it seems like you’re invested in the conversation your friends are having.

You jump when a hand touches your shoulder, staring wide-eyed at the classmate sitting next to you. She’s nice and you’ve worked with her on a few projects for this particular class, but you don’t really talk to her when it doesn’t relate to school. She smiles comfortingly at you while the rest of the group stares at you, all with different levels of bewilderment on their faces.

“What?” You ask, trying to make it seem like you weren’t on a completely different wavelength.

“We’re all getting ready to leave and I asked if you were okay. You’ve been really off recently, no offense.” The same classmate, Kate, repeats.

“I’m fine, I’ve just had a lot on my mind recently.”

“I can tell.” She jokes, gesturing to your blank screen. “I’ll send you the notes and what I’m basing my essay off of, if you want?”

“That’d be great, thank you so much.” You reply gratefully.

You hurriedly pack all of your items in your bag, not wanting to hold the group up anymore than you already have. Luckily the parking lot of the cafe you all met up at is fairly small, which means your cars are all parked next to each other. Still, the trauma from what happened that fateful night in the library parking lot has you locking the doors, jamming your seatbelt into place and driving out of the parking lot almost before everybody else has even gotten their cars started.

It’s probably not the best idea to get Chinese takeout when you’re already on a budget and you definitely have leftovers at home, but you figure you can splurge a little bit tonight. The bag that you’re carrying has you tempted to just sit in your car outside of your apartment and eat it all, but that’d be a little difficult since you have no utensils with you. So you make the trek to your apartment, which seems ever-longer with the food basically calling your name.

Unlocking your door and turning on the lights, the first thing that you see is that your cat is once again on the table, a habit that you’ve been trying to curtail for a few days now. The second thing you see, Michael Langdon petting said cat, has all thought of complaining fleeing your head.

“Jesus Christ!” You gasp, throwing your hands up in fright at the surprise intrusion. By some miracle, your food doesn’t go flying everywhere, so you place your things on the table before you do ‘accidentally’ throw them at Michael.

“Kind of the opposite, actually.” Michael smirks, placing his hands behind his back and walking towards you in the way that you hate so much.

“Michael, what the fuck are you doing here?” You huff, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “It’s Thursday, you’re literally going to see me tomorrow.”

You had actually kind of been expecting for him to show up somewhere in your life. After eating a single bite of toast before rushing out the door after your early weekend last Saturday, you knew he had been pissed. That much had been made clear when he called you Monday, as well as yesterday. A little bit of warning would have been nice, though.

“Well, seeing as how I already used my allotted two calls for the week,” his nose scrunches in distaste at the rule you had set, “I decided that I would drop in and see how my beautiful wife is doing. You never told me you had a cat.” He mentions when the little brat starts rubbing her head against Michael’s hand, begging for attention.

“It never came up in conversation.” You mutter, pushing past him so that you can take back the control of your apartment. “You dropped in, saw I’m fine, got to pet my cat; can you go now?”

Michael pouts teasingly before shrugging.

“Are you really just going to kick me out like that? You’re not a very good hostess, (Y/N).” You squeeze your eyes shut and clench your jaw, patience wearing thin with each second that Michael remains in your home.

Maybe if you had had some forewarning, been given some time to prepare for having to be around him, you wouldn’t be getting so angry. But now, not only has he invaded your home, he refuses to leave as well. Even worse is that stupid fucking smirk that is ever-present on his face. God, if you knew there wouldn’t be any consequences, you’d love to knock that look right off of his face (and maybe a few teeth out, too, although you’re sure that his Antichrist powers would grow them back right away).

“Look. I’m tired, hungry, I have a mountain of homework to do and I still have to finish my laundry. All I want to do is eat my dinner, maybe watch some Netflix while I work on homework, and then go to bed. Please, Michael, just go home.” You plead with him.

“I can help you, you know. Or you could just quit school and mo-”

“What happened to letting me have my alone time?” You question, reminding him of the contract you just went over less than a week ago. The smile fades off of his face as his blue eyes turn to a steely color, and you watch as he clenches and unclenches his fists repeatedly.

“I don’t ask for much from you, (Y/N), just for you to cherish and obey me.” You glower at him when he comes closer, attempting to push him away, but he snatches your wrists easily in one of his large hands. “Do you know how many men-- how many women worship my father? How many of them would have thrown themselves at my feet for a chance to be my bride? But no, my father had to make you as my soulmate. You, a stubborn, whiny little bitch who can’t just shut up and be grateful for the position of power you’re currently in.”

You yank your hands out of his grasp, and before you can even process it he slaps you across the face. One of his large rings caught against your lip, and you bring a hand to your face to catch the blood that’s starting to pool on the floor. Poking your tongue out at your lip, you can feel how it’s already starting to swell from the force of Michael’s hit. The man in question holds his hands up by his head, eyes wide as he pants loudly. He repeatedly shakes his head, like he’s trying to convince both you and him that he didn’t mean to hit you.

“(Y/N)-” He’s silenced when you spit at him. It lands on his cheek, and you watch with eyes blazing as the mixture of saliva and blood trails down his face.

“Get the fuck out of my apartment.” You don’t look him in the eyes, instead choosing to focus on the blood you’re cupping in your hands. When he doesn’t move, you start to yell. “Leave! I swear to God, if you don’t leave, I’ll get my landlord up here and he’ll haul your ass out!”

The door never opens, but when you look up again he’s disappeared. You’re still beyond pissed, but the adrenaline is wearing off and the throbbing in your lip is starting to become more prominent. Stumbling off to the bathroom, you get a washcloth and hold it to your lip to stop the bleeding. Somehow the cut’s not deep, it just landed in an area that produces a lot of blood. You get cleaned up fairly quickly, and within twenty minutes you’re laying on the couch with an ice pack pressed to your lip. The cat sits on your lap, kneading your thighs with her little paws.

“Next time he shows up here, claw his eyes out, okay?” You request. She blinks her large eyes at you once before yawning and rubbing her nose. “Thanks.”

Your phone chimes with a text message that you almost ignore, thinking that it’s Michael. When the name on the text isn’t just the devil emoji that you use for him and is, instead, the name of your best friend, you unlock your phone.

“Hey girl! Thirsty Thursday tonight @ Stadium House, you in?”

Stadium House, the frat house closest to the campus’ football stadium (nobody ever said frat boys were good at naming things), offers what is arguably the best Thirsty Thursday you’ve ever experienced. Frat parties aren’t normally something you enjoy going to, choosing instead to do your social drinking at friends’ houses. Even though they’re not normally your scene, you still find yourself mulling over the idea. It’s been a while since you even drank, let alone went out with your friends and drank. Besides, after the hellish past few weeks, partying doesn’t sound like a bad idea.

“Sure, we riding together?” Within seconds, she’s responded.

“OMG YAY REALLY??? Yeah we’re getting a Lyft. Wanna come over to mine and get ready/pregame?”

“Be over in 10.” You reply.

Since you both live in the same building, all you had to do is get everything together and take the elevator to her floor. The cat, although not pleased that you’re standing, quickly settles down again in your spot as you go to put the ice pack back in the freezer. As you gather the ‘essentials’ for a night out, you realize that this is the first time you’ve been genuinely excited for something since the day you were kidnapped. Locking your door behind you, you head out with a purpose: to get fucked up. Classily fucked up, but still fucked up.

Stadium House is just like you remember it from the last party you attended, which would have been almost a year ago. It’s insanely loud, with enough bass to make your teeth shake. There’s an insane amount of people that you’re sure violates some sort of fire code, none of the furniture matches, and there’s enough booze to give the entire school alcohol poisoning.You’re already mildly buzzed, the alcohol that you pregamed making you feel a good kind of fuzzy. Making your way into the kitchen to grab a beer takes twice the time that it normally would since inebriated-you likes to hug everyone that you see.

“(Y/N)!” A voice shouts. You turn around to see Kate waving at you, beckoning you towards her. “Hey! Thought you didn’t come to these types of parties?”

“Normally I don’t, but tonight I decided to.”

“God, what happened to your lip? Did somebody punch you?” You almost forgot about the cut on your face, having covered it with enough makeup to hide the bruising and swelling.

“Oh, I tripped and busted my face against the stairs earlier today.” Kate grimaces, but obviously believes it.

“Well hopefully that means you won’t bust your face while you’re drunk. Anyways, you wanna play pong with me? I need a partner.” You shrug before nodding, letting her take your hand and lead you to the living room.

All of the couches are pushed up against the walls, allowing people to sit and catch their breaths. There’s a long table set up in the middle of the room, the classic red cups creating pyramids on each side.

“Katie, you found someone!” Kate giggles and blushes when a guy slings his arm around before kissing her cheek.

“(Y/N), this is my boyfriend, Brennan. Brennan, this is (Y/N).” You both wave at each other awkwardly. “Oh my God B, do you know who (Y/N) would be absolutely great with? Lucas!”

Brennan chuckles at the look on your face.

“Kate likes to play matchmaker when she’s drunk.” He explains. “Go play then, everyone’s waiting on you.”

Kate pouts before kissing Brennan and jogging around to the side of the table that you’ve already migrated towards. Picking up a Solo cup, you glance inside to see what the poison of choice is tonight. One sniff of the clear liquid tells you that it’s vodka, and definitely not the good kind. Kate fakes a gag when you hold the cup under her nose, making you giggle.

“Guess we’ll have to play extra good, then.”

Both teams suck, but you somehow manage to eke out the win. Even with the win, you still had to down an ungodly amount of vodka. Couple that with the two beers you’ve had since starting the game, and you’re definitely feeling the effects. Everything has you laughing, from the posters on the wall and your opponents’ jokes to the outfits of some of the women here and how they all line the walls, looking for their prey. You and Kate had almost collapsed against each other when the familiar chorus of ‘oh fuck, shit, BITCH’ coursed through the entirety of the frat house. Another side effect of being drunk is just how loud you are. You know that you’re nearly yelling whenever you open your mouth, but you’ll be damned if people don’t hear what you have to say.

After the game is over, you end up heading outside to get some fresh air. A good number of people have the same idea as you, standing together in small groups. Pushing past a couple making out, you lean against the wall and pull your phone out of your back pocket. There’s a few notifications from various social medias, mainly your friends tagging you in their stories. Unfortunately, there’s also a text from Michael that simply reads ‘I’m sorry.’ The sensible part of you that remains sober tells you to not do what you’re thinking of, but since that part of you is stupid, you click on Michael’s contact anyways. It only rings twice before he picks up the phone, which makes you roll your eyes.

“Hey, are you okay? I’m so sorry about what happened earlier, I shouldn’t have done that and I’ll never do anything like that again.” You hear the words that he’s saying, but they don’t actually register with you while you wait to finally speak.

“Y’know, you’re the--the biggest jerk I’ve ever met!” You huff, sitting down on top of the cool grass.

“I know, and I deserve th-”

“No no no, mister, you listen to ME! All my friends’ boyfriends are so fucking nice, and they care about their girlfriends, and they certainly didn’t kidnap them. One of my friends even told me there’s a guy she knows that’d be--that’d be perfect for me!” You pause to take a sip of the beer in your hand. “But I had to say no, all because I’m married to the fucking Ant-Anti-crust!”

Michael’s silent while you ramble on, waiting patiently for you to finish. You snicker at your oh-so-clever wordplay, repeating ‘Anti-crust’ quietly to yourself.

“(Y/N)...are you drunk?” You sigh, humming a tune that you’re not quite sure of while you look up at the sky.

“A little bit, yeah.”

“Stay where you are, I’m going to come and get you. And don’t hang up the phone!”

“You’re so lame, Michael.” You groan loudly.

“I know I am, so incredibly lame.” He agrees with you.

“Whatever, I gotta tell my friends I’m leaving, ‘else they’ll think I got kidnapped...again.” Stumbling to your feet, you squint your eyes to spot your friends. Sure enough, the three of them are all sitting on the couch under the large oak tree. What is it with frat guys leaving couches outside? Is that like a requirement for frats?

“Why is there a couch outside?” Michael asks incredulously, and you clap a hand over your mouth when you realize that you said that out loud.

“Oops.” Your friends all wave to you, and you fall sideways on top of their laps. “H-hey guys!”

“(Y/N), where the hell did you go?”

“Oh, I kicked ASS at pong. Did you know that I’m good at pong? ‘Cuz I didn’t know I was good at pong.” Your mumble, reaching a hand up to stroke your friend’s cheek. “Anyways, I gotta go. My husband is gonna pick me up.”

You can hear Michael gasp as your friends all laugh and giggle.

“Fuck off, you don’t have a husband!” You’re about to argue before you remember that you totally should not have said that.

“You’re right, I don’t have a husband.” You agree, sobering up long enough to panic before realizing that they’re just going to think you’re joking. “Anyways, my...friend Michael is gonna pick me up.”

“(Y/N)’s gonna get DICK tonight!” She yells, making them all cheer loudly.

Before you can argue, a sleek black sports car pulls up. Michael doesn’t even have to unroll the windows for you to know that it’s him; nobody else would be driving around in a college neighborhood with a car like that. Your friends help push you up, and you grab all of your stuff from where you threw it on the ground. Your goodbyes are all long and exaggerated, all of them hugging you and kissing your cheeks before letting you leave.

You throw open the car door dramatically, sliding not-so-gracefully inside. Michael stares at you, and if you were more sober you’d try and attempt to figure out what he’s thinking. Instead you give him a wide smile, waving excitedly while you try to buckle up.

“Here, let me help you.” He says finally, easily buckling you up.

“Thank youuuuuu!” You sing out, leaning back against the cool leather.

“I, uh, brought you a water.” He hands you a bottle of water, making you gasp excitedly.

“How did you know I was thirsty! You’re the best, Mikey!” You open the bottle easily and down half the bottle in one go.

“Don’t call me that.” He’s obviously not too impressed with having to pick you up, but whatever.

“But-but I like calling you Mikey! It’s my nickname for you! Isn’t that what married couples do? They have nicknames for each other!” You argue while Michael maneuvers through the deserted streets.

He decides that keeping silent is the best course of action, which makes you pout. There’s no music on, and the only sound you can hear is the engine purring. His eyes are focused on the road ahead, so you decide to creep your hand up to touch his hair, which is something you’ve always wanted to do. He glances at you out of the corner of his eye, and you’re pretty sure he thinks you’re going to hit him. He flinches when your hand lands in his hair, sending you into another round of giggles while you feel his golden curls.

“So soft.” You mutter to yourself, running your hand through his hair. “Mikey, I’m gonna need you to drop your haircare routine.”

“Tomorrow.”

“We’re at my apartment! How do you know where I live?”

“I was here four hours ago.” You hum, nodding.

“Riiiiiight.” You basically fling yourself out of the car, bouncing on your heels while you wait for Michael to catch up to you.

He politely slides his arm around yours, keeping you steady while you both make your way to your apartment. Standing still in the elevator makes you realize just how tired you are and you yawn repeatedly and rub your eyes, undoubtedly smudging your eye makeup.

“Drink the rest of your water, please.” Michael requests, gesturing to the near-empty bottle you’re still holding.

You do as he says, letting him guide you to your apartment door. He opens it without using a key, and you look at him with wide eyes.

“Oh no, did I leave the door unlocked?”

“No (Y/N), I unlocked it with my magic.”

“That’s right, I forgot about that! That’s how you left so quickly after you slapped the shit outta me.” Michael winces at your words, but you ignore him and walk into the apartment. “Hi, kitty kitty!” You greet the cat, who doesn’t even bother to wake up.

“Go get some pajamas on, I want to make sure you make it to bed alright before I leave.” You glare at him, but do as he says. When the cat hears his voice, she eagerly jumps up and hops off of the couch, padding towards him and meowing. You stop at the sight, mouth hanging open while he crouches down to pet the cat.

“What the fuck?” You whisper, and Michael has to stifle a laugh when tears start to fill your eyes. “You little traitor.”

Michael remains on the floor while you get changed, giving his attention to the small cat. When it’s been a couple of minutes with no sign of you, he begins to get a little concerned. What trouble can a drunk person get up to when they’re just getting changed. Michael stands up, cautiously making his way to your bedroom. If you are still changing he really doesn’t want to walk in on you, knowing that there will be absolute hell to pay. His concerns are instantly wiped away when he sees you laying in your bed, eyes already closed.

“(Y/N).” Michael whispers, shaking your shoulder. You groan and try to push him away. “(Y/N), you still have makeup on.”

He’s not sure you string together a full sentence, but he does make out the words ‘makeup wipes’ and ‘bathroom,’ which is all that he needs. Thankfully you left the package of makeup wipes on the counter before you left for the evening. Pulling one out of the package, he walks back into your room and crouches next to you. Your nose crinkles at the feeling of the cool cloth against your skin, and your eyes flutter open before closing so he can take your eye makeup off. When he reaches your bottom lip and chin, he frowns.

“I am so sorry.” He apologizes before he starts cleaning your lipstick off. You both know that he’s not just apologizing for the hiss of pain that escapes your mouth.

“You’re so mean, you know that?” You mumble, licking your chapped lips while Michael examines the damage.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t know why I did that. I’ve never hit anyone before.” He’s telling the truth; he’s murdered people and animals before, obliterated people’s souls, but he’s never slapped anyone. If there’s one useful thing his grandma taught him while growing up, it’s that you never hit a woman.

“You did it because you’re mean.”

“I promise you, (Y/N), that I’ll never lay a hand on you like that again.” You look at him from under your lashes, causing his heart to clench painfully.

“I’ll hold you to that.” Your eyes close again, and Michael gets up to throw the makeup wipe away.

When he comes back into your room, you’re already asleep. Michael smiles at the small snores that escape you and how absolutely comfy you look, slipping out to grab you some water and pain meds for the morning. Placing it on your bedside table, he spares one last glance at you before going to leave, petting the cat once more and disappearing again.

Tag List: @sammythankyou @let-me-try-mom @ultragibbycentralworld@sebastianshoe @nana15774 @queencocoakimmie @lichellaw @grim-adventures58 @dandycandy75 @trimbooohgodplsnoooo @alexcornerblog@everything-is-awesomesauce @ccodyfern @jimmlangdon @dolceandchalamet @omgsuperstarg @queenie435 @dextergirl12345 @americanhorrorstudies@sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 @coloursunlimited @punkysouls @kahhlo@storminmytwistedmind @1-800-bitchcraft @langdonsdemon @langdonslove @carousallie @cuddletothecake

[kylekirkpatrick]

Champagne Honeybee - Garlic Press - Live Mo' Jam Monday at Band In Seattle

For Mo' Jam Monday at Band In Seattle, Champagne Honeybee performs 'Garlic Press'.  

Champagne Honeybee performs 'Garlic Press' for the special Mo' Jam Monday episode of the TV/Web show Band In Seattle!  Mo' Jam Mondays is a weekly rotating jam session featured artists that range from tap dancers to trombonists. 

Join them at The Nectar Lounge in Fremont, every Monday night at 9pm.

Subscribe to the Band In Seattle channel for more music from great bands!

More on Mo' Jam Mondays: http://www.mojammondays.com/ https://www.facebook.com/MoJamMondays

More on Band in Seattle: http://BandInSeattle.com http://facebook.com/BandInSeattle http://twitter.com/BandInSeattle http://youtube.com/user/BandInSeattle

[mill3nniumforc3]

200: My crush’s name is: Russell :) 199: I was born in: April 1994 198: I am really: energetic 197: My cellphone company is: Verizon 196: My eye color is: hazel 195: My shoe size is: 7.5-8.5, depending on the shoe 194: My ring size is: 7.5 193: My height is: 5′5″ 192: I am allergic to: penicillin, cats, pollen, and strong scents 191: My 1st car was: I’ve never owned my own car. 190: My 1st job was: babysitting. First real job was a desk job at my university 189: Last book you read: I don’t remember. I don’t have time to read for leisure. 188: My bed is: comfy 187: My pet: Seamus the miniature schnauzer and Sugar the Aussie-mo 186: My best friend: Ashlyn 185: My favorite shampoo is: Dove 184: Xbox or ps3: neither 183: Piggy banks are: for kids and rainy days 182: In my pockets: nothing 181: On my calendar: going river tubing on Saturday, party next Saturday, trip for T’s birthday weekend, and possibly going to Kennywood and Kings Island sometime in August. 180: Marriage is: something for my future self 179: Spongebob can: do anything 178: My mom: is the bestest 177: The last three songs I bought were?: who buys music anymore? 176: Last YouTube video watched: probably an ASMR video 175: How many cousins do you have?: too many to count 174: Do you have any siblings?: three sisters 173: Are your parents divorced?: no 172: Are you taller than your mom?: yep 171: Do you play an instrument?: piano, drums, bells, and I know three chords of the guitar 170: What did you do yesterday?: sleep [ I Believe In ] 169: Love at first sight: sure 168: Luck: yes 167: Fate: maybe? 166: Yourself: depends on the day 165: Aliens: not really... 164: Heaven: yes 163: Hell: Do I believe in it? Yes, because God is just. Do I believe people are damned there? No, because God is loving. 162: God: yes 161: Horoscopes: no. It’s funny to see “horoscope” posts and see if they apply to me, but it’s a bunch of b.s. A bunch of Aries aren’t going to have the same day/month/year. That’s ridiculous. 160: Soul mates: I’m not sure if I do or don’t, but I do believe in love. 159: Ghosts: no 158: Gay Marriage: of course! 157: War: it’s an unfortunate and unnecessary part of life 156: Orbs: no 155: Magic: yes [ This or That ] 154: Hugs or Kisses: both 153: Drunk or High: drunk 152: Phone or Online: online 151: Red heads or Black haired: no comment 150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes 149: Hot or cold: hot 148: Summer or winter: summer 147: Autumn or Spring: spring 146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate 145: Night or Day: night 144: Oranges or Apples: apples 143: Curly or Straight hair: straight 142: McDonalds or Burger King: McD’s (though I’m probably biased because I work there) 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: both 140: Mac or PC: PC 139: Flip flops or high heals: flip flops 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 137: Coke or Pepsi: neither 136: Hillary or Obama: Obama 135: Burried or cremated: I want to be cremated and have my ashes buried with a seed and grow into a tree 134: Singing or Dancing: dancing 133: Coach or Chanel: neither 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: Kat 131: Small town or Big city: small town 130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben 128: Manicure or Pedicure: mani 127: East Coast or West Coast: east coast 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas. My birthday stopped being special after I turned 19. I get good food every year on Christmas. 125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate 124: Disney or Six Flags: Six Flags 123: Yankees or Red Sox: Indians [ Here’s What I Think About ] 122: War: What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. 121: George Bush: he had some good policies. Better than Trump, that’s for damn sure. 120: Gay Marriage: should never be illegal again. 119: The presidential election: #FuckTrump #VoteBlueNoMatterWho #ImpeachTheMF 118: Abortion: all my life, I was told to be pro-life. These days, I don’t know anymore, but I think my beliefs are closer to pro-choice than pro-life. 117: MySpace: it’s not 2008 anymore. 116: Reality TV: glad it’s not my life 115: Parents: they’re doing their best. I’m not looking to be one anytime soon though. 114: Back stabbers: bye! 113: Ebay: Amazon is better. 112: Facebook: these days, I use it to get laughs and memes. I don’t interact with people I know IRL much. 111: Work: good for the money. Not good for my mental health. 110: My Neighbors: they’re ok. 109: Gas Prices: #ThanksTrump 108: Designer Clothes: I can get good clothes at Target. The only “splurge” I do for clothes is at Spencer’s or Kohl’s. 107: College: I plan to go back soon. 106: Sports: entertaining. 105: My family: family is life. 104: The future: anything can happen [ Last time I ] 103: Hugged someone: Tuesday. 102: Last time you ate: a couple hours ago (chik’n patties and cheese) 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: last week. I saw a manager I hadn’t worked with in like a month. 100: Cried in front of someone: Monday 99: Went to a movie theater: July 2nd 98: Took a vacation: June 97: Swam in a pool: back in February 96: Changed a diaper: I don’t remember 95: Got my nails done: way too long ago 94: Went to a wedding: in April 93: Broke a bone: 2017 (broke my toe) 92: Got a piercing: 2006 91: Broke the law: never. I’m a good person. 90: Texted: three hours ago [ MISC ] 89: Who makes you laugh the most: Russell 88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my dog 87: The last movie I saw: in theatres, Toy Story 4. At home, Adventures in Babysitting. 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: being off on Saturday 85: The thing im not looking forward to: working tomorrow 84: People call me: Vonnie, Vonn, Bonbon, Sophia, and “the girl” 83: The most difficult thing to do is: not cry while watching Grey’s Anatomy 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never 81: My zodiac sign is: Aries 80: The first person i talked to today was: my sister 79: First time you had a crush: kindergarten. His name was Wally, and we were “boyfriend and girlfriend” til about third grade, and we remained friends til we graduated 8th grade. Haven’t talked to him much since. 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: Russell 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Sunday 76: Right now I am talking to: nobody because it’s 3:30am 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: I hope to be teaching English education 74: I have/will get a job: I currently work at McDonald’s, but within the next 6-12 months, I’ll be moving out of state, so who knows where I’ll work.  73: Tomorrow: work 72: Today: work 71: Next Summer: I’ll be in a whole new state, so that means new amusement parks to visit and rollies to ride. 70: Next Weekend: party. Oh, and next Saturday makes officially 18 months with me and Russell, so go us! 69: I have these pets: two dogs 68: The worst sound in the world: the beeping in the headset when I work back cash. It haunts my nightmares 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Heather because she sends me to back cash all the time 66: People that make you happy: Russell, my mom, my dogs, Ashlyn, and Aunt Dolly because she sends me lives on Candy Crush 65: Last time I cried: Monday 64: My friends are: Ashlyn, Mikayla, Jon, Rilee, Lamar, Tae, Alexus, Clare, Katie, Mario, and Kel 63: My computer is: all mine because I bought it with my own money 62: My School: not in school  61: My Car: don’t have one 60: I lose all respect for people who: lie 59: The movie I cried at was: Avengers: Endgame 58: Your hair color is: natural 57: TV shows you watch: Grey’s Anatomy, Once Upon a Time, House, The Simpsons, Bob’s Burgers, and... I don’t really watch TV because I don’t have cable. 56: Favorite web site: YouTube 55: Your dream vacation: Just a big coaster trip 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: my period this month. I had cramps for days leading up to my period that were so bad that, the day my period actually came, I couldn’t stand straight. 53: How do you like your steak cooked: I don’t eat steak 52: My room is: a mess, like my life 51: My favorite celebrity is: NPH 50: Where would you like to be: with my boyfriend 49: Do you want children: someday, but not today 48: Ever been in love: ohhh yes. 47: Who’s your best friend: not answering again 46: More guy friends or girl friends: i think i have a fair amount of both 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: this is tmi, but sex with my bf. 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Russell 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: no 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: yes 41: Have you pre-named your children: I don’t have any definitive names, but I’m thinking MaryGrace Linda for a girl, and James Sebastian for a boy 40: Last person I got mad at: Anna because she put me on back cash 39: I would like to move to: someplace south 38: I wish I was a professional: dancer.... no, writer.... no, why not both? [ My Favorites ] 37: Candy: peanut butter cups 36: Vehicle: Jeep 35: President: FDR 34: State visited: North Carolina (not just saying that because I lived there for two months) 33: Cellphone provider: Verizon 32: Athlete: Trevor Bauer 31: Actor: Justin Chambers 30: Actress: Amy Poehler 29: Singer: Chester Bennington 28: Band: Linkin Park 27: Clothing store: Kohl’s 26: Grocery store: Marc’s 25: TV show: Grey’s Anatomy 24: Movie: 13 Going on 30 23: Website: Pogo 22: Animal: seal 21: Theme park: Cedar Point 20: Holiday: Christmas 19: Sport to watch: baseball 18: Sport to play: softball 17: Magazine: I only read magazines at the dentist office, and I’ll read whichever has an interesting cover story 16: Book: A Series of Unfortunate Events 15: Day of the week: Saturday, as long as I’m not at work. If I’m working, then Mondays, I guess... 14: Beach: Huntington 13: Concert attended: Winter Jam, because I got to see Skillet play, and I met Matthew West. 12: Thing to cook: desserts 11: Food: eggplant parm 10: Restaurant: Olive Garden 9: Radio station: Star 102 8: Yankee candle scent: vanilla 7: Perfume: I don’t wear perfume 6: Flower: Daisies 5: Color: pink 4: Talk show host: Ellen DeGeneres 3: Comedian: Steve Rannazzisi 2: Dog breed: I really like terriers lol 1: did you answer all these truthfully ?: For me to know and you to find out :)

[protofans]

Tapes And Tees And Tours And Alliteration!

From the newsletter:

MAKEUP AND VANITY SET PRESENTS… THE PROTOMEN… THE CASSETTE! Available Now!!! For the uninitiated, this album is an 8bit remake of our first album (Act I). MAVS made this record while we were all still living at our Thundercon compound in Nashville around 2007. If you've somehow never heard it, you can check it out on our Bandcamp page.

But seriously now, it’s about time we released this album on tape. If you don’t know the Tastyvein backstory, I’d love to tell you here, but it would just take too long and you’d still be confused at the end. However, I will tell you that there was an infamous red tape involved. And that red tape is something I want to talk to you about right now...

SUPER SWEEPSTAKES EXCITATHON TIME!!!! We’ve randomly inserted a single somewhat-carefully recreated replica of that red tape (I somewhat carefully recreated it myself from the factory test tape!) into the 1,000 tapes we had made for this run.

What, might you say, goes to the lucky person who finds this elusive tape? They’ll receive a lifetime supply of chocolate! Wait… chocolate is expensive. Nevermind, they’ll just get a fancy hand-crafted Cold Steel Ticket (more like a cold steel ID card, but ticket sounds better) that gets them into all Protomen shows for free… forever… (excluding Festivals, Private Events, or any other situations where we have no control over entry)!!!!!!  See? That’s way better than chocolate. Ok, probably not better than chocolate.

On top of all that, we’ve brought back the Grid Shirt to go along with this release. We have 3 types, regular Men's/Unisex, Women’s, and Unisex Sleeveless. They’re all pretty cool. You should probably buy one of each and wear them all at the same time.

We also have Combo packs with shirts and tapes, if you're into buying things together and saving a little money.

OCTOBER TOUR And don’t forget we’ll be getting on the road at the very end of September heading out west for some serious music banding. We’ll be joined by our dearest of dear friends, Makeup And Vanity Set (whom some of you may remember from the start of this mailer), and Bit Brigade. Tours like this don’t come along very often, especially while we’re working on the single greatest album of recorded time, so do your best to make it to a show. And don't wait too long to grab tickets, because they're running low all over the place.

SEPTEMBER 30th – Chicago, IL – Reggies +17

OCTOBER 01st – Kansas City, MO – Riot Room +21 04th – Seattle, WA – Chop Suey •All Ages• 05th – Vancouver, BC – Rickshaw Theater +19 07th – Portland, OR – Hawthorn Theater •All Ages• 08th – San Jose, CA – The Ritz +21 09th – Los Angeles – Echoplex •All Ages• 13th – Dallas, TX – Gas Monkey Bar N’ Grill +16 14th – Memphis, TN – Hi Tone Cafe +18

*some of these age restrictions can be circumvented by having a parent with you. However, YOU SHOULD CHECK WITH THE VENUE FIRST.

And if you happen to be around Nashville on Monday, you should come out to Exit/In for the TWRP show. We might be helping them out on a jam...

That's all for now. We'll see some of you soon!

-Commander

p.s. Does it bother anyone else that the Borg can't decide on a pronunciation of "futile?"

[the-firebird69]

We had enough of you looking Us in the eye you pigs. Trying to tell us what's wrong could you tell us what's wrong your pigs you losers your cannibals your backstabbers you don't have any system or playing that works you're not going to look Us in the eye you do we're going to come down and grab you. So have the announcer say you're not going to win and it's grinning and looking at him and it's this fat ignorant slob with some black guy and they're talking about race so I think that you're sensitive little f***** you're going to make you pay for your stupid lines and your dumb looks your dumb face and you're huge idiotic infight you created an invite and you're dying from it so helping in the law I'm going to make sure it works. We also are going to make sure that you're dead so we're going to come in there and get rid of you just sitting around all day not doing anything. And he needs roofing material so we're going to fight to get it done I can't stand you anymore you have to leave. You no longer people who we care about no we never cared about you and we're not going to raise a finger to help you defeat your little boy so you can take the dream and jam it up your ass ridiculous. Also very tired of your asinine competition with each other and you can't figure out what you're doing ever no son says it seems to be storm clouds over here and nobody is trusting the stupid roof and I'm sick of that s*** I want to come in and grab all of you and he says we're supposed to set up bases in the cages and someone is holding those hostage is what they say since you go in and grab people until we don't hear it anymore that's one thing to do the other is to sue them over the conditions he's in because it is illegal to do this to someone and you wanted the lawsuit percentage and nobody did it and he ordered it and I'm embarrassed because it's not done several reasons why they're always is and it never turns out the way that they say so I'm going to order it to be done and if they're a repercussions we'll deal with them one of them dealing with missing people that are valuable to us

Thor Freya

So we're going to present a lawsuit and it's against this guy who says it's a good landlord and it's been doing nothing but bothering our son and sending idiots over and saying do stupid s*** and having him help and it's not his job in any way and holy s*** are they losers the place is covered with clouds it's from this huge storm and it is going up the Yucatan but it's gigantic and it's covering the entire golf which is very far so we're going to penalize them and say this you have to come in there and clean up because you're leaving dead bodies dead animals and sewage everywhere and neer our son and you're not getting him anything and you're just sitting there waiting for him to fall apart. So going to bring in a major lawsuit and we're going to set up a camp and say that we're Tommy F or something. And John remillard didn't go there last night he's going there tonight and it will be his last hurray no one of them though and he's just the Apex of what you guys want to be you want to be just like him lying around bothering people being a bum getting away with it having nothing happened to you and live like s*** that's what you like so I'm going to do that and we're going to introduce the lawsuits Monday morning we install you idiots here. The storm is huge up in New England and soon it's going to be one on the West Coast and it's freezing out right now because the sea just dropped and it's 20 mi out it's freezing out New York City and DC it's now negative 30 in New York City and -25 + so it's probably a negative 27 in DC and they're not that close soon the whole area will be evacuated no everybody who is smart enough to leave left and the ground is going to sink again 20 miles out no it's about 1500 miles out and it is about 1500 to 2,000 miles deep. And people are going up there to raid and it's a lot of these idiots and you see them in the movie fooling around with each other and stuff and with snow gear on only it's about -30 in Antarctica and Alaska and those areas at times and that's without the wind chill so I think they can do it when a few more degrees in the suits won't work. And they're not in suits. So we will find a ton of them Frozen and Bruce Springsteen is the boss he's Capone that's what they call him the boss of all bosses and he is rejoicing but finds that a lot of people are not there and he saw them on video freezing so he freaks out hey blames Mac anybody else Trump and starts a war

Bitol and Goddess Wife