#Might swap out the pin board too for the extra one I have because it's a better color than just white

[slingbees]

I don't actually know if I've ever shared what I've been up to lately but here's an update on the bag situation

[unwritrecipes]

Nan-e Barbari (Persian Flatbread)

It’s been relatively quiet on the bread front around here lately. Not that I haven’t made any but just that I’ve been cycling through a bunch of our tried and true favorites, so I’m especially excited to share a new version with you today—this addictively chewy and golden Nan-e Barbari, aka Persian Flatbread.

It is absolutely wonderful and while it does require a couple of rises, the beauty part is that bakes up in just about 5 minutes!

And you don’t have to wait until it cools to tear it apart and dig in! Perfect for when patience is lacking!!

Ok, so let’s get started—Once you’ve mixed up the dough and let it rise for the first time, you punch it down and divide into four pieces (or 2 if you want really huge breads—I just find it easier to work with the smaller sizes)

Then roll it out and let rise again.

Meanwhile you place a pizza stone or upside-down baking sheet into the oven and let it get insanely hot! That’s the key to baking up crisp but chewy loaves!

Now you brush the dough with oil

And use your fingers to make little dimples all over to catch all that lovely oil.

Finally, you top the whole shebang with flaky sea salt or sesame seeds or whatever strikes your fancy and bake!

Minutes later you’re rewarded with the freshness of hot baked bread—sort of like a cross between focaccia and flatbread.

Wonderful on its own

Or topped with this Israeli chopped salad

Or hummus

Or anything you can dream up! Happy baking!!

Nan-e Barbari (Persian Flatbread)

Makes 4 small or 2 large flatbreads

Prep Time: 20 minutes; Rising Time: 1 hour and 30 minutes; Bake Time: 5-7 minutes

Ingredients

2 ½ teaspoons active dry yeast

¼ cup sugar

2 ¼ cups warm water

5 cups bread flour, plus extra for rolling out

2 tablespoons canola or grapeseed oil

1 tablespoon kosher salt

Scant ⅓ cup extra-virgin olive oil

Flaky sea salt, sesame seeds, poppy seeds for topping (optional)

The Recipe

1. If you have a stand mixer with a dough hook, now’s the time to use it. Otherwise you’ve got to do some kneading by hand. Place the yeast and sugar in the large bowl of the mixer and whisk together well. Whisk in the water and let sit for about 5 minutes, until the mixture looks a little bubbly. Attach the dough hook. Add the flour and oil and mix for 5 minutes. Add in the kosher salt and mix for another 5 minutes. The dough will look a little shaggy but this is ok. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and place in a warm spot to rise for 1 hour, until doubled in size. (If you don’t have a mixer you can mix the dough by hand—the process will just take longer).

2. While the dough is rising, line 2 large rimmed baking sheets with parchment paper and dust them both with a little flour. Set aside.

3. Once the dough has risen place one of the oven racks in the lowest position and preheat to 500ºF. Place a pizza stone or an upside down baking sheet on the rack and let it get crazy hot.

4. Punch down the dough and turn it out onto a floured board or clean surface. If the dough seems too sticky to work with, add a little more flour and flour your hands as you work the flour into the dough. Divide it into 2 or 4 equalish pieces and use a floured rolling pin to roll the pieces into ¼-½-inch oblong rectangles and use a bench scraper or spatula to help transfer the dough to the prepared baking sheets, spacing them evenly apart if using 4 pieces. Cover each sheet with a slightly damp towel and let rise again for 30 minutes.

5. Brush the dough with the oil all over and then use the tips of your fingers to make lengthwise indentations all down and across the length of the dough. Sprinkle with the sea salt and any other toppings you want to use.

6. Bring the trays near the oven. Carefully lift the parchment with the dough onto the preheated baking sheet or pizza stone (it’s hot). Let cook for 5 minutes, then check. If bread is golden all over, remove it from the oven. Otherwise cook for another minute or two, checking often so that it doesn’t burn. Let bread cool on a wire rack and bake the second batch.

7. This is best eaten on the day it is baked but also pretty wonderful reheated for a few minutes. Store leftovers well wrapped in the fridge for a few days.

Enjoy!

Note: Recipe adapted from Eating Out Loud by Erin Grinshpan. The original recipe calls for 4 1/2 cups of flour but every time I’ve made it that way, I’ve had to add at least 1/2 cup more because it was too sticky to work with. I increased the flour to 5 cups, but you might even need more—use your judgement. I also swapped in canola for the grapeseed oil because that’s what I more regularly have on hand.

[frogsandfries]

GUESS WHAT I FUCKING DISCOVERED

MORE. FUCKING. BOOKS.

My partner has books magically spilling out of his aaaaaaaaaanyway. So I tore apart that tote of books I'd already had packed and divested the other tote with the surprise books of said books. I got the book tote packed to within a couple cubic inches and swapped it for the tote my partner was using as a computer table.

I opened this previously unopened tote...........................and there they were, more. Even more. Books!!! I mean, I had a handful from the last tote but naive me was hoping that was the end of it.

So now I have one whole entire tote cleared out, and then there's this other tote I'm going to need him to go through because....... idk it makes me want to empty it into the garbage to not have to deal with the chaos. And apart from that, I think I have one more tote of his packing. I also have this partial book tote that I kind of tossed some odds and ends into, probably just for now. I'll probably figure out something that can actually go in that space instead.

I have two totes that are indisputably about a full as they can realistically get. I have two totes that are pretty much empty. I should grab this one and start to pack my own stuff now. I dunno, it took me like a couple weeks to get over having to unpack the carefully packed books to attempt to cram even more books in the same space. The tote I'm going to use is going to need to be washed out before I put my stuff in. Laundry needs to be sorted so I can have what little clothes I own, and I can pack away the rest of his extra clothes that don't get used as much. It's also going to take a minute to mentally prepare myself to break down my desk. Luckily my desk isn't the one to which I strapped the cords for the router.

They have packs of paper scraps at the dollar store, and they have foam core!!! I grabbed a hinge-lid box from work the other day, and I was joking about decoupaging it. I've also been meaning to grab some foam core for my cork tiles. The problem with that being, once I get them mounted on foam core, I'm going to want to start using them, but I like to decorate my cork boards with fabric, and I don't have any way of putting them on the wall right now, or pins. So I've been holding off. I think I'll wait till we're done moving. I also need some magazine holders--I'd make them, but we don't really eat cereal. It'd be funny to use the decorative paper to decorate the cereal box magazine holders. There's two ways I could think of right off the top of my head to use the paper for like "my style" of decoupage: ripped into squares, or cut into strips and woven into little mats. Weaving them would be great. If I could get a bunch of scraps about the same length, their height wouldn't really matter. Little paper weavings might be better for something with less sides?? Or bigger sides?

For a real project, it could be fun to cut the paper into shapes and make actual art with the paper, rather than just using it decoratively.

I do need to organize our documents better, too. I really think another thing I need to focus on, once we're moved, is organizing all of our papers, putting together is cogent, intelligible system. Maybe I'll just buy a bunch of cereal for the boxes and figure out what to do with the cereal later. I know magazine files are a thing you can just buy; maybe it doesn't matter so much what the files look like. I'm thinking some kind of divider system, maybe manilla envelopes......

Anyway, I'll probably turn this over in my mind for the rest of the day, but I'm gonna keep waiting for this dishwasher to finish and go start working on some art for the day.

[sirsapling]

MORE TAGGED POSTS

I got tagged in a bunch more things I didn't respond to fast enough, so UNDER THE CUT THEY GO. 

I have too many things to respond to, so I won't be tagging, but consider yourself tagged if you want to do any.

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS

Tagged by the wonderful @bardingbeedle​

Pass the happy!🌻🌿 When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications!

Lying in warm blankets in an cold room. Bonus points for snow outside.

A fresh Buzz cut

Talking to @bardingbeedle​

Having long, passionate rambles about the Marvel Ultimates

Hashbrowns, bacon, maple syrup, maybe a pancake, and a sausage too.

Tagged by the chaotic @s-hylor​

top 3 cities you want to visit: Toronto, again. Colorado (I know its a state not a city I just want to visit ashes AND GET SNOW). And I would like to go back to Italy again. (I also want to visit, just, all of my fandom friends but I don't want to drop all their locations lol)

favorite marvel character: Ults!Steve Rogers and then Ults!Tony Stark. Not counting stony, Anthony the brain tumor, and not counting clones, Gregory Stark.

white chocolate - yay or nay?: Love it, love it, love it.

favourite board game: God Save The Queens- A board game about Bees I invented with 3 other people at University last year for a project.

how many countries have you been to: 10, I have been very luckily graced with the ability to travel to Europe with school a lot.

(Wales, France, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, America [Florida, Boston, New York], Spain, Portugal, Italy, and finally Canada.)

favorite thing to do on a rainy day: Anything indoors I might usually feel guilty about doing when its sunny. Tv or games particularly

favorite holiday: Christmas. I am a Christmas slut, call me festive sapling I LOVE Christmas.

pen or pencil: Pen. I once bought 7 in lisbon at the same time bc they were perfect and I didn't want to run out.

favourite kind of soup: Cupasoup Chicken noodle, I don't really like soups tbh, I like broths, and gravy type things I make too much of and eat like a soup (like golden Currys or korma sauces)

your typical order at a cafe or coffee shop: Caramel Frappucino or an iced Mocha. If I'm gonna pay a fuck tonne for coffee I'm gonna get a drinkable dessert.

favorite ride at an amusement park: Any slow rides that show you shit, like spaceship earth at EPCOT. I’m not really a speed dude.

the color of your sneakers: RED, red shoes are the shit folks, a good pair of red converse goes with everything.

favorite pbs show (or little kids show if you didn’t have pbs):  Uh I used to watch pokemon then winnie the pooh every single night. But little little kids show I used to watch a show called 64 zoo lane with my grandma so I have fond memories

Rules: name your favorite female characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people.

Tagged by the wonderful @ashes0909​

Natasha Romanov - Marvel Cinematic Universe

Carol Danvers - Marvel 616

Janet Van Dyne - Marvel Ultimates

Izumi Curtis - Full Metal Alchemist

Martha Jones - Doctor Who

Garnet - Steven Universe (if she doesn't count bc, space rock, Connie)

Rosa Diaz - Brooklyn 99

Ann Perkins  - Parks and Rec

Princess Caroline - Bojack Horseman

Pam Poovey - Archer

LOOK I know there was a lot of cheating here, but I don't have non marvel fandoms really, and I have a hard time remembering a lot of the TV I enjoyed.

Rules: Share your top 10 AO3 additional tags. Tagged by the mysterious @nigmuff​

look I don't know if I have enough tags to make this a justified representation, but the ones shown are v much on brand.

Fanfic trope meme

I was tagged by the delightful @capnstars​ and @crownofstardustandbone​

slowburn or love at first sight // fake dating or !!!secret dating!!! // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt/comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut AND fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it  // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or !!!!middle-aged romance!!! // time travel or isolated together // neighbours or roommates  // sci-fi or magic au // body swap or genderbend  // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane

Look guys, I’m boring. I like domestic 30-40 year olds in secret relationships. We knew this.

And now buckle the fuck down folks because I'm about to answer 50 questions about me no one is gonna stick around and read.

tagged by @bardingbeedle​ the only person who would put up with reading this much about me.

What is the colour of your hairbrush?

I have a buzz cut, I don't have a hair brush anymore.

Are you typically too warm or too cold?

Too warm. I have been warmer than most people my whole life, and I often need to sleep with a fan on.

What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Working on a sketch for an MTH fill (update from the end of this: I have spent an hour doing this fuckin thing)

What is your favourite candy bar?

Bounty. My favourite candy is Reese’s Pieces but I like a bounty. Or like, and chocolate without fruit in it tbh.

Have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Yes, one of my parents referees Championship Football here in the UK. I have been to a few of his games. I also went to the London 2012 Paralympic closing ceremony, if that counts.

What is the last thing you said out loud?

‘Oh, this will last me a few days’ I was talking to my mother about 1/2 a can of pringles, I was lying.

What is your favourite ice cream?

Vanilla. I am boring. But the best ice cream i’ve had was a cream/milk flavoured gelato in Florence, that shit slapped. I also like cheap strawberry ice cream when no one is trying to put strawberry bits in it.

What was the last thing you had to drink?

Dinner. A spinach, banana, summer fruits and coconut yoghurt smoothie (with extra raspberries). Its my nightly dinner to cheat more veg into my body.

Do you like your wallet?

Very much. It’s about 7-8 years old, it is faded to hell but it has spiderman and a pony ride stony pin

What was the last thing you ate?

See above smoothie comment, but if that doesn't count, a sugar free mint polo.

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

Nope. I don't buy as many clothes as I want to, bc mens clothes in larger sizes are hard to find or expensive here.

The last sporting event you watched?

F1, I don't keep up but I watch a little with my dad every now and then.

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?

BUTTER. They don't really have it here, and I don't go to movies much when in the states. But @festiveferret​ introduced me to it when we saw Ant-man and the Wasp, and much like poutine and Tim Hortons, I still crave it.

Who is the last person you sent a text message to?

My dad. 

Ever go camping?

Yes, I was a Scout. I have done enough camping to not want to do more, it was fun when I wasn't organising it.

Do you take vitamins?

Yes, but not as often as I should, and as much as my mother bothers me too.

Do you go to church every Sunday?

Nope, not even when I considered myself christian. I go only go to church for other peoples events, and I’m an agnostic now.

Do you have a tan?

I cannot tan. I just can't, I burn lobster red in 5 minutes outside without literal sun cream for BABIES

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

Chinese food, It was easily what taught me to like more foods also, I don't eat tomato so I can't have most pizza. I love a good garlic base/bechamel, but you can't really get that here easily (yes yes I could make my own but that ruins half the point of pizza)

Do you drink your soda with a straw?

I don't drink carbonated drinks, because its like drinking pain. The fuck is wrong with all of you.

What colour socks do you usually wear?

Various colours, but I consider red on the left, blue on the right, my lucky socks. No I don't know why, but I take all exams and interviews wearing them. It’s just a thing.

Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

I don't drive, but if I did, No. Theres a lot of questionable laws out there but Traffic laws aren't one of them.

What terrifies you?

Pfft, most things from spiders to rollercoasters. But more seriously, Being shouted at. Shout at me and I start hyperventilating, its a thing. Also not knowing if someone is mad at me. I’m not good at reading people,

Look to your left, what do you see?

The wallet shown earlier, and the sugar free polos mentioned after that.

What chore do you hate?

Vacuuming. It makes everything in my body hurt. I would rather clean toilets.

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

@s-hylor​

What’s your favourite soda?

See above. I do not like your pain liquid. Apple juice for life.

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?

Either delivery or kiosk, I don't like talking to people where possible, I often need tweaks I don't want to have to remember to repeat.

Who’s the last person you talked to?

@downeyhills​

Favourite cut of beef?

I don't generally eat beef, lamb, or most red meats. I love crispy chilly beef, but as anyone can point out its bc your generally don't feel the texture of the beef.

Last song you listened to?

Everybody Wants to Rule the World | Tears for Fears | Pomplamoose

I’m on a Pomplamoose kick, and I also just love this song anyway.

Last book you read?

Understanding Comics (The invisible Art) - Scott McCloud

Favourite day of the week?

Friday nights. The weekend is ahead and @loraneldin​ and I take to wrangling our beloved usual suspects through another week of Ults Book Club.

Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I can barely say it forwards.

How do you like your coffee?

With milk and sugar, or ultimately, in a Caramel Frappuccino bc I'm a bitch like that.

Favourite pair of shoes?

I have walking boots that don't make my flat ass feet feel like they’re dying. OR my black and green crocs (Fight me, they’re useful).

The time you normally go to sleep?

9-10 is what I'm working on, but I fluctuate depending on if I'm working on something or not.

The time you normally get up?

5-6 If I have a choice in the matter, but often 7-8 if I didn't get to bed at the right time. I’m more about getting the right hours in for my diet than time specifically.

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?

Sunset is the prettiest, but I like to be awake to see the sun rise.

How many blankets on your bed?

One big thick comforter, because that's the uk standard, and I get too hot otherwise.

Describe your kitchen plates

Two types, big wide white ones with a navy blue rim. They are so large I never use them, and little Navy saucer plates I use a lot.

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

I don't drink, so no. I drink apple juice or Shirley temples when I'm in pubs/bars

Do you play cards?

Sometimes, I like to teach people to play Old Maid. It’s the monopoly of card games.

What colour is your car?

Again, I do not drive. 

Can you change a tire?

I am aware I just said I don't have a car, but I do know how to change a tire. Everyone should go learn its pretty simple.

Favourite job you’ve ever had?

I have only had one job really and two job experience jobs. I did experience in a school library for a week and that was v fun and chill. I did all the jobs they had prepared for me in 2 days so I alphabetically reorganised their fiction section for the rest of the week. I LIKE ORDERING.

How did you get your biggest scar?

I no longer have a gallbladder, so I have 3 scars across my torso from that, the biggest right in the middle of my ribs. Non surgical wise I have matching scars on my knees from ripping holes in them when tripping. I have weak ankles and also I got both of those at different times.

What did you do today that made someone else happy?

I gave my spare animal crossing Iguanodon skull to a wicked artist I follow on twitter so he could complete his dino park. 

[supacutiepie]

I have headcanons... Head Cannons if you will

I thoroughly believe Bakugou is the type to bullshit his way around every little truth so honestly this shit might as well be canon bc he is Absolutely That Extra

- The new reveals told that: The reason we didn’t see his room is because it’s got shelves of romance manga.

-Therefor : Bakugou is a MAJOR BOOK NERD NESTER

-He has cookbooks, his trashy literature, his classics, his mangas, every school book he ever owned has been kept. 

-This includes shit he wrote himself

-Cookbook notebooks, its a full wall to wall scenario. He has books in every language and they make a librarian weep.

-The books he can’t read?? He has notebooks filled with translations he’s jot down after hours of scouring the internet and his OTHER books.

-TBFH his self written notebook collection puts “shitty nerdy fanboy deku” to shame

-Not only does he have this many books, they have consumed him. His room is wall to wall with them and they are so neatly organized to his mind that he just AUTOMATICALLY knows EXACTLY where every little page is. 

-However

-You may think, “Bakugou is the neatest of the students”

-Bullshit

-He understands his methods. You could never. I’m not shitting you, we have only ever seen his bed because its the only clean spot. He has piles of books, his closet is filled with his novelty t-shirts--

-Oh, he swaps out his wardrobe every season. Not because he cares per say but rather if he didn’t he’d drown in the clothes. His parents own a fashion line, every. single. month. he gets something new.

-Clothes mean jack shit to him. Sure, he gets it. He understands that clothes are “Expressions”... but to him its just bullshit extra merchandise that he gets in  packages once a month since he born. He long since left behind any attachment to anything that wasn’t some doofy bs novelty shit. His skull shirt collection is hideous and he loves it. 

-Bc he gets clothes so often, he just as often donates them.

-Everyone in 1-A has received a mysterious package of clothing. Everyone. And it’s always customized because like hell he’d just throw clothes at people puh-lease his father DESIGNS FASHION FROM SCRATCH

-It’s also ‘secretly’ his way of trying to put some kind of fashion sense in the heathens he lives with. 

-So his closet is full, his walls are lined with shelves and stacks and notes.

-But the rest of the “clear space” is filled with art.

- Drawings, Sketches, Designs. Little thing stacked up or tapped together. Prototypes over a desk thats STUFFED with pencils and erasers and extra paper and books. 

-Photographs of the places he’s been. So many different shots of Paris, mountains, rivers, lakes. He has a series of photo albums for the best and one is entirely dedicated to sunrises- another to sunsets.

-He has a map above his bedside. It’s the only spot big enough because it doesn’t have a big ass bookshelf on the wall.

-The map is big and delicately detailed. But it’s still just a map.

-The cool shit is that it is COVERED in tack-markers. Well, most of it is. 

-Europe is washed out by tacks. France has so many different colored tacks its an eyesore. Paris has a big ass push pin bc he’s been there so many times. Enough that when Aoyama starts mumbling obscenities at their classmates he has to stop himself from cackling along.

-He has a trail of pushpins along the Alps and Pyrenees. 

-The different colors mean things. But only he gets its.

* Black is Done. Been there, done it, no point going back.

*Green is Good. It’s a place he kinda liked, but its not somewhere he needs to go back to. Paris is a big ass green push pin.

*Red is for a place he wants to go back to. The mountains are a trail of red that grows inch by inch longer.

*Blue is for Potential. He marks his next trips in blue, but not his dream trips.

*Those would be his nice, doofy, silver tipped push pins. the classic “string on a crime board” kind. He has major cities plotted out with these. Theres a large mishmash over america filled with silver and blue. He has books and books and BOOKS on american mountain ranges and cuisine and he not-so-secretly plotted out a course all-might themed rest stops.

*Yellow is for his favorites. The first mountain he ever hiked, the onsen he found while his parents dragged him out to a business trip up north, the island they went on once for a family vacation. (He fell in love with the sunset. It was clear and bright and there were so many colors at once that its his ‘happy place’. He sat on top of a fucking volcano and it was AWESOME.)

-The map is obsessively picked over, the pins are carefully arranged, and the map itself its surrounded by his favorite snapshots of the places marked.

-His room is a mess. But he does know the exact inch everything belongs in.

-He may not seem it, but he is sentimental. He just doesn’t keep all the sentimental shit in the dorms. Those things are at home. On shelves and wall caddies and tucked between his even BIGGER collection of books and cd cases.

-He does have All Might merch, but again, at home. The few things he has at the dorm are hand drawn posters, so much cooler than the cheap shit you get in the store.

-He doesn’t have time for movies and shows, but when he does its either “cheesy romance serial” or “blood, guts, and glory”

-TBFH his FAVORITE movie is a bastard child of a romcom, an action, and a suspense thriller. It’s horrible, its audacious, its cheesy and the vgi is awful but its one of those Things he loves. (On really bad days, when his arms ache for hours and he didn’t sleep well the night before he lets the movie go on repeat just for the cheese. It’s a soothing ‘nothing really matters’ kinda Thing)

-Oh, lets not forget his arms.

-His quirk is DEMANDING. Its a needy little princess. He gets sick of it acting like a bitch. His arms will ache if he over does it, so he has a giant fucking box of tiger balms and compression wraps and weird fucking icy-hot concoctions.

-He DOESN’T have skin car shit. Surprise surprise, he doesn’t need it. He is soft. He is also, incredibly fucking annoyed.

-He has those super obnoxious spray colognes, some super expensive shit, and inbetweeners. Because otherwise he smells like he just rolled out a vat of butterscotch and step into a shower of caramel. But BURNT.

-Seriously, his room would be noxious from the nitroglycerin smell alone. He constantly has a fan going and the window open. And while the room is cluttered he CANNOT let it go uncleaned or he risks a build up of explosives. He has to change his sheets daily, he has a routine for covers and pillow cases, and he is damn near religious in clothes washing because otherwise he’s destined to explode Something he Doesn’t Want Exploded. (The books. The very flammable sometimes RARE books.)

-Oh, and he has MANY a blanket and throw. He swaps them out so he isn’t doing huge loads of laundry for the big shit. It’s mostly thin blankets anyways, but they’re super soft and cozy and he nestles up to read his books like a demented caterpillar. The blanket he sleeps with ALWAYS ends up on the floor. 

-He doesn’t like to think himself overly conceited. But he is cocksure and arrogant and he has an image to keep. So of course he has routines to make himself look good.

-This is just a Bakugou thing TBQH.

-More of a personal headcanon, but he’s definitely gay. Not in the super obvious way, but he’s definitely confident in it. He isn’t about to go plastering his walls with flags (as if they’d fit), and he isn’t jotting down crushes in a journal (he does have journals, they’re just... incredibly volatile and profane)

-He’s just, confident.  He has a single little rainbow picture, its a picture he took and its super cool and shit. A rainbow in the mountains, right after a shower. He keeps in in a frame in one of the bookshelves near his manga. It’s tasteful, and it’s subtle. He knows what its for, and the littleness of it feels nice and secure.

-He doesn’t shy away if asked. But no one asks. He’d be honest, if anyone did. It’s not something he will hide- that’d be cowardly...

-But deep down, it does give him pause. It’s something he wrestled into submission since he figured it out. He had this big dream of being N.1 and then one day he realized that, had society not advanced the way it did, he could have nothing. He’d never tell a soul but it scared him, to know that despite all his ‘perfections’  he had this one thing that would turn heads in a way he didn’t want.

-He realized though that it as just one more thing he’d own. So he noosed it, that fear, and he throttled it into submission. He’d be N.1, he’d be open, He’d pioneer that shit if he had too- but he didn’t have too. It ended up being something that added character if nothing else, and he was determined to make it a trait and not a flaw and to build his pride with it.

-That all being said, much like any self respecting gay- he does has a string of lights tastefully weaving over the wood of his bookshelves.

-Extras:

* He doesn’t get sick often. Just, doesn’t. He keeps a close watch on his health, is always good on hygiene, and in general doesn’t jeopardize his well-being.

* When he gets sick. It hits him like a FREIGHT TRAIN.

* He only gets fevers once in a blue moon and he’ll fight the damn moon itself to keep it this way because when he DOEs get a fever its like a putting a handful of firecrackers into a cooking pot.

* He pops when sweaty. He just DOES, It’s INCREDIBLY annoying but thankfully localized to the hands. But when the fever strikes, his whole body pops. He spends the majority of his fever curled up in something flame-proof to wait it out.

*If he’s sweating, and by some MIRACLe he blushes, he CRACKLES.

* He’ll kill you if you witness it.

* I said he’s confident, not that he can’t be flustered.

* On that note, he’ll take it to the grave, but he definitely made Kaminari discharge in front of the dorms that first day by kissing him. It was on the cheek though! And it fucking hurt. Touching Kaminari is like playing roulette and his finger tips smell funny afterwards so he tries to avoid it.

* Honestly, the same can be said for anyone with a quirk that can react to his.

*Fucking half-and-half actually worries him. For the sanctity of his clothing.

* That fight with Deku in ground-beta set off every nerve ending he had and for a solid 24 hrs afterwards he actually had trouble keeping his quirk under his skin. He can still vividly recall the arc of electricity over his face and it never fails to leave a lasting echo in his mind.

* Kirishima is good for this though. Ironically, he’s grounding. He’s the one person Bakugou has never worried about hurting or leaving damage behind. Likewise, he knows that Kirishima high-key needs the confidence boost that Bakugou drags with him everywhere, so he amps up his attitude when the red-head seems down.

* He has no earthly idea how to describe his relationship with Kirishima and it shows. He would never dare say it allowed, but he knows that the boy is his best friend and he’d honestly kill for him. But more so, he’d be willing to live and fight beside him.

* Kirishima is one of the VERY FEW who has a picture in Bakugou’s room. It’s from a hiking trip, and its really backlit so you honestly wouldn’t know at first glance, but its beautiful. A sunrise, right at the summit. A figure standing on a rock with a hand excitedly outstretched towards the horizon.

* The other people with photos, are his parents- and the Midoriya’s.

* It’s not as obvious this one. But he keeps a family photo on his bookself of the three Bakugous, and then theres an old photograph tucked away between some of his older school book collections.

* It’s a beach photo. He couldn’t be more than, maybe three? 

* It’s a whole other life. A time before his quirk. Before he knew he was destined.

*He’s sitting on a rock with a backsplash of salt and foam. He’s got an arm wrapped around a tiny Izuku. It was the only thing keeping the other boy from tumbling off into the waves. Their moms are sitting on either side, big happy faces all around.

*The boys were burnt, both heavily freckled, and smiling like the world was endless.

* The photo...makes him sad. He can’t explain it, not even sure what words could do so. It’s nostalgic sure, but something between the pixels of ink has him at a lost. It was such a different time, and the little boy in the photo is a stranger.

*Sometimes, rarely and in the dead of night when a nightmare finally gets him awake, he thinks about life. About how different it could have been, about the paths he chose and the ones he burnt. He wonders, he regrets, and he moves on before morning.

*Bakugou Katsuki refuses to dwell. He bottles and compartmentalizes and he tucks it away like a pamphlet in a library. Notes and subscripts to be lost in translation. 

( He’s vocal, he’s vivid. He writes. He loves his book collection and he writes his own short stories. His imagination is as vivid as the rest of the class, and he jots down half finished ideas all the time. He has a memory that makes an elephant cry, so his school notebooks are tiny and his idea notebooks are scattered. The words he can’t get out into the air are sometimes trapped in ink. )

[galwednesday]

So back in the summer 2016, I wrote 18k of an immediately post-CA:TWS Shrinkyclinks AU with the working title The Lion and the Mouse, then got distracted and mostly abandoned it. When I was writing Bait and Switch, I stole the concept of how Steve and Bucky met from this WIP, not thinking much about it because I wrote Bait and Switch quickly and didn’t expect to go anywhere with it. Except then people asked for more, and specifically the story of how they met, with Steve saving Bucky from an attempted mugging. Which I, uh, stole. From myself.

I’m doing some writing file clean-out today and when I looked at The Lion and the Mouse I discovered the first 4,000 words are almost entirely complete, up to and including the part where Steve and Bucky meet, so I’m posting it here. This isn’t in the same universe as Bait and Switch, but it’s what I was thinking of when I was writing their character dynamics, and I thought it might interest people who had asked for Bait and Switch’s thwarted-mugging scene.

“Have we met?” Iron Man asked. “Because I gotta say, there’s something familiar about you. But that awesome cyborg arm, which, by the way, you should stop trying to punch me with, I would definitely have remembered, so--” Iron Man failed to dodge the Asset’s grab and was thrown upside-down into the wall of the helicarrier. He stuck there for a moment before falling face-first onto the floor. “Maybe not.”

The Asset scaled the closest ladder in under three seconds. Iron Man was a distraction, not the primary target.

The Asset climbed onto the catwalk and ran towards the Widow. She was ignoring the fight behind her, too busy tampering with something on the control panel.

Targeting system, a dispassionate voice in the Asset’s head supplied. The Asset disregarded the thought as irrelevant. It couldn’t help deducing information based on passive observation, but it had never been encouraged to know more than it was told.

It threw a knife at the Widow’s back. She moved impossibly quickly, turning so the knife passed harmlessly to one side, but that brought her nearly within the Asset’s reach. The Asset lunged forward--

Iron Man lurched over the edge of the catwalk and slammed into the Asset’s side, knocking them both down to the lowest level of the helicarrier, the glass underbelly. The ground drifted past deceptively slowly beneath them. The helicarrier was riding low enough that the Asset could see river water quaking from the repulsor engines’ vibrations.

(continues beyond the cut)

“We’re not done, terminator.” Iron Man tried to pin the Asset’s left wrist, but the Asset had already torn off one of his gauntlets and his one-handed grip wasn’t strong enough. The Asset locked its thighs around Iron Man’s waist and threw its body into a twist. Iron Man rolled with the spin and fired his remaining hand repulsor to gain extra momentum, trying to break free of the Asset’s grip.

The repulsor blast must have hit an already damaged support pillar. One moment the Asset was rolling Iron Man onto the floor like a beetle onto its back, and the next the Asset was stunned and gasping, lying face-up and pinned by a metal beam across its abdomen and chest. The beam was too heavy to lift. The Asset was trapped.

“And the Soldier’s finally down. Jesus.” Iron Man pulled his booted foot free of the fallen beam and staggered upright. “Romanoff, you good?”

“Swap made.” The Widow’s voice was light. “We have seven minutes until the fireworks start.”

“Great.” Iron Man shook his foot, the boot repulsor flickering on and off like a dying lightbulb. “I’m down to one and a half repulsors, so if I’m piggybacking you out of here it’s going to get pretty bumpy.”

Their earpieces crackled, a woman’s voice talking about a helicopter en route. The Asset didn’t bother to listen.

Mission failure. Fear washed through the Asset, cryo-cold. Mission failures were unacceptable. It must not fail the mission.

The Asset braced its elbows against the floor. It set its boots flat against the glass below and pushed up with its hips, ignoring the screaming agony spiraling through its abdomen.

“Easy there, tough guy, you’re going to rupture something. Correction, JARVIS tells me you have ruptured several somethings, and now you’re making it worse. Hill, better send paramedics with the chopper if you want the Soldier to live long enough for interrogation.”

Interrogation sent another pulse of terror down the Asset’s spine. It could remain silent despite almost anything, had been given plenty of practice, but interrogation was never easy to endure.

“You know, you really do look familiar.” Iron Man’s head tilted and his faceplate popped up. He narrowed his eyes at the Asset’s face. “JARVIS, run facial recognition on our party crasher.”

The Asset automatically noted that Iron Man was now vulnerable to a throwing knife to the eye, but both its hands were occupied and killing Iron Man wouldn’t salvage the mission. Mission failure mission failure mission failure.

The Widow appeared over the edge of the gangplank. She took in the situation at a glance and gave Iron Man an exasperated look. “For God’s sake, Stark. Keep your faceplate down until the Soldier is disarmed.” For a moment the Asset saw that same face, with the same annoyed line between her eyebrows, but smaller and rounder. A little girl’s pout laid over eyes that were decades too old.

Malfunction, the Asset thought.

Iron Man didn’t seem to hear her. His head snapped back to face the Asset, his eyes widening. “What? JARVIS, repeat that.”

The whine of its arm’s servos increased in pitch as the Asset strained harder. Fire radiated out from its sternum as additional ribs fractured under the pressure. The beam didn’t move.

The panel of glass beneath the Asset did.

The panel separated from one side of its metal housing with a sharp crack. The Asset watched the gap grow wider by inches, slow but inexorable. The seam was going to fail, and the Asset was going to fall.

The Asset stopped pushing against the beam, letting its body go lax against the slowly shifting glass. There was no way to prevent it. And it was fitting, somehow, that the Asset should die by falling.

The Asset didn’t know why. The Asset knew a lot of things without knowing how it knew them.

Iron Man didn’t notice the panel sagging. His eyes, brown and heavy-browed and incomprehensibly familiar, stared at the Asset’s face.

“Sergeant Barnes?”

The glass gave way.

The Asset fell.

Before it hit the water, words formed somewhere in the whirling chaos behind the Asset’s eyes, shaping themselves in accordance with a long-forgotten accent.

Fuckin’ finally.

[[PROBABLY A CHAPTER BREAK]]

The Asset hadn’t expected to survive the fall. The shock of water closing over its head prompted its body to struggle automatically, kicking towards the light in search of oxygen. Once it was breathing and treading water, extraction training kicked in.

The Asset dragged itself to shore and wove a muddy trail through the parks and back alleys of the city, concealing its passage on autopilot. It tore a strip off its undershirt to tie over the bullet wound in its thigh. Pursuers might have sniffer dogs. The Asset must avoid leaving a blood trail.

Iron Man’s parting words played on repeat. Sergeant Barnes? There was something right-but-not-right about Iron Man’s face, about the Widow’s face, something known-but-not-known. Stark, she had called him. His face, his voice, that name, Sergeant Barnes? The Asset’s head buzzed with dissonance.

The Asset didn’t expect to survive the confrontation with its handlers. The Asset had already known it was scheduled for decommissioning. The technicians routinely forgot how acute its hearing was and discussed forbidden topics where the Asset couldn’t help but overhear; it never drew attention to this in case it was punished for listening. The Asset had known before it even reached the helicarrier that this was to be its final mission. Its failure just proved the handlers right. It had grown unstable, erratic, ineffective. The Asset was a tool that had outlived its usefulness.

The Asset reported in because that was how all the its missions ended, and it didn’t know to do anything different in case of mission failure, but it wouldn’t have surprised the Asset to be greeted with a bullet to the brain as soon as it walked into the bank.

Instead, the five technicians in the vault nearly pissed themselves when the Asset appeared, silent as ever even though it couldn’t stand fully upright. Most of the broken ribs were on its right side where the beam had struck. Its abdomen felt worse than the the ribs, or the gunshot wound in its left thigh, but the Asset could feel its body already working to repair the damage. Soft tissue damage healed quickly. It would survive these injuries, if it was allowed to.

“M-mission report,” one of the technicians stammered. That wasn’t proper procedure, handlers were the ones who debriefed the Asset, but there were no handlers present to report to.

The Asset gave its report anyway. Anticipation of punishment was worse than pain, and it didn’t want to wait. It was going to be decommissioned anyway. What was a protocol violation compared to the mission failure it was about to recount?

The Asset’s summary of events made the technicians draw together in a frightened huddle. Two of them kept glancing at the door, either hopeful or worried about who might come through next. Another, the quietest and calmest, snuck two quick looks at the bulletin board the Asset knew concealed a wall safe containing cash and emergency supplies. The other two appeared to be in a state of shock.

“Fuck,” one whispered when the Asset finished. “The news was right. Shit, oh shit.”

“Does that mean Pierce is really dead?”

“The STRIKE teams haven’t checked in. If they were on the helicarriers--”

“They must be dead, too. Or arrested.”

“Christ, look at all these files.” One technician was at a computer, her face frantic as she typed. “They released everything. Everything.”

“What about this address? Is this base burned?”

“Fuck, forget about the base, what about our addresses? Our names?”

“Stop trying to grab the keyboard, look on your own fucking computer!”

The technicians bickered while the Asset stood against the wall. Nobody had told it to do anything else.

The wait gave its ribs time to knit back together. The searing pain in its abdomen lessened, slowly fading into the deep ache of bruising instead of the acute fire of rupture. The Asset was extremely thirsty, but nobody had given it water. The gunshot wound in its thigh reopened as its body worked to expel the embedded bullet. Eventually the bullet dropped down its pant leg, resting on the top of its boot.

Its mind rattled. It hurt, conflicting thoughts grinding against each other, forbidden memories and whistling gaps. The chair would scrape the confusion away, but the chair--

The Asset didn’t like the chair.

The quietest technician wasn’t searching for information like the others. He was sitting at his desk, thinking, watching the other technicians. Watching the Asset. Sweat gathered at his temples and darkened his hair.

The Asset tracked his movements when the quiet technician pulled a pistol from a desk drawer.

The other technicians were facing away, arguing among themselves and distracted by their computers. Easy targets.

The armed technician killed the others. He was fast and fairly professional about it, needing no more than three bullets per target before they stayed down, but it was loud and messy all the same. The shots echoed in the enclosed space despite the vault’s sound-proofing, bleeding into one staccato cacophony.

The Asset watched silently as the technician swallowed hard and readjusted his grip on the pistol. He lowered it to his side.

“Asset,” the technician said. He pulled the bulletin board off the wall. “Open this safe.”

The Asset didn’t know the combination of the safe, but it was an older model and had never been built to stand up to a weapon like the Asset’s arm. One heave on the door handle pulled the entire safe from its wall housing. The movement reopened the Asset’s wounds, sending more acid through its abdomen and a rush of hot blood down its thigh, but the pain wasn’t mission relevant. It could be ignored.

The Asset threw the safe across the room. It smashed corner-first into the reinforced vault door and burst open, spilling its contents onto the floor.

“Jesus Christ! You crazy fucker.” The technician glared at the Asset. “There are grenades in there, fuck.”

The Asset felt a little indignant. The technician should have included this information in the mission briefing if he felt it was relevant. The watching part of the Asset, the part that eavesdropped on handlers and kept its conclusions to itself, thought that the technician was a poor substitute for a handler. He didn’t observe the proper protocols. Probably didn’t know the proper protocols.

Running scared, the watching part Asset thought. Pierce was dead. The STRIKE teams were dead or captured. Hydra’s files had been released to the world. Low-level Hydra agents would be running scared.

If there was one emotion the Asset could reliably recognize, one pattern of behavior it could predict, it was fear.

Who was authorized to command the Asset, with Pierce and Rumlow out of commission? Who was authorized to punish the Asset for mission failure? Who would issue corrections for disobedience?

The watching part of the Asset unfurled and stretched.

The technician glanced up from where he was kneeling by the safe, scooping bundled papers and bricks of cash into a paper bag. He jerked his chin at the Asset’s thigh, which was still oozing blood. “Can you fight with that?”

It was a stupid question. The Asset’s internal ruptures were far more limiting to mission performance than a mostly-healed flesh wound. But the technician had never ordered the Asset to report its full status, so he was unaware of the extent of the damage. Not a handler, the Asset reminded itself. Its pulse picked up with an emotion it couldn’t identify, something like the feeling of checking weapons before a firefight.

“Functional for moderate combat,” the Asset reported. It added, because the technician was clearly not going to think of it on his own, “Rehydration necessary.”

The technician took a coffee cup from one of the desks, filled it from the water cooler in the corner, and pressed it into the Asset’s hands. The Asset drained it quickly before it could be taken away. The water was cool and pleasantly tasteless, much better than the noxious river water it had swallowed earlier or the nutrient IVs it was usually given. Evidently there were advantages to not having a real handler.

The technician looked at the chair and frowned. The Asset’s grip on the coffee mug tightened, but the technician was a cryo specialist. He didn’t know how to use the chair, and he had just killed the technicians that did.

“Fuck it,” the technician muttered. He grabbed the bags of cash and weapons and jerked his head at the door. “Asset, move out.”

***

The technician waved the Asset into the passenger’s seat of one of the field vans, not the black one that rode heavy with armor plating, but the white one with “RUSTY’S PLUMBING - RESULTS GUARANTEED!” painted on its side in big, looping letters. He put the bags of cash and weapons into the back and tucked his pistol into a holster hidden under his blue windbreaker. He put on a headset and connected it to his phone before he started driving, pulling onto I-95 and heading north.

“Buckle your seat belt,” the technician ordered. The Asset complied. It was good to ride in the front of a vehicle, with a full range of vision for upcoming obstacles or threats. The trees lining the highway were pleasant to look at. The Asset occupied itself by memorizing the license plate of every car they passed.

The technician received a call after 22 minutes of driving.

“What?” the technician demanded. “No, I told you. Get the STRIKE teams out of lockup and meet me at the rendezvous in Trenton. Blow up the building if you have to, just stop them from getting transferred to somewhere more secure.” A pause, then the technician slammed his palm onto the top of the steering wheel. “Fuck your cover! Are you even listening to me? I cleaned out the base in D.C. I have the Asset. Shit, that’s enough to start a new cell right there. Your cover’s blown already. All our covers are blown, once they decode those files.” Another, longer pause. “Do whatever you have to do. Report in three hours.” The technician yanked off his headset and slumped back in his seat. “Fucking moron.”

The technician listened to the radio the entire drive, sometimes swearing or punching the dashboard as news anchors revealed a new piece of information. The Asset sat silently without giving any sign that it registered what was being said.

The radio gave names for Iron Man and the Black Widow: Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff. The names were right-but-wrong just like the faces.

Sergeant Barnes. The news didn’t mention that name. The news didn’t mention the Asset at all, although it had a lot to say about Alexander Pierce and Nick Fury and SHIELD and Hydra and Natasha Romanov and Tony Stark. The Asset rolled the names through its mind, lost in thought. Tony Stark. Sergeant Barnes. Natasha Romanoff. Natasha, Natashenka, Nat…

The Asset couldn’t arrive at the correct name, but Nat recalled a child with red hair and a killer’s eyes. The Black Widow’s face in miniature.

Malfunction, the Asset thought automatically. It hadn’t been wiped in more than nine days, far longer than standard protocol. One of the technicians had complained to a handler about it and had been overruled. The Asset’s initial assassination of Fury, Nicholas J. had spawned unexpected, urgent follow-up missions as Hydra’s maneuvers were countered by SHIELD loyalists, and Rumlow had wanted the Asset to be field-ready at a moment’s notice.

Wipes kept mission-irrelevant memories at bay. The Asset was to report unauthorized memories to its handler at once, so the distractions could be properly removed.

The Asset had no handlers left to report to. The Asset said nothing. The watching part of the Asset approved. It wanted to wait and see what would happen.

The Asset was very good at waiting.

They stopped in Pennsylvania, just shy of the border with New Jersey. The technician left the Asset in the car while he pumped gas. Once the tank was full, the technician hovered by the car for a few moments, then opened the passenger-side door.

“Out,” the technician ordered. “We’re going inside. Stay behind me. Don’t say anything. Got it?”

“Confirm.” Standing up was a mix of pleasurable stretching of cramped muscles and painful pulling on wounds that hadn’t quite healed. The Asset’s abdomen felt hot and tender but essentially sound. Its thigh wound had closed and was forming scar tissue that would fade away within a week. The Asset could fight if it had to; it had pushed through injuries that were much worse.

The gas station was empty apart from a clerk at the desk who glanced up at the technician and the Asset, then went back to reading her magazine. The Asset shadowed the technician’s footsteps, taking a perverse pleasure in hiding in the technician’s blind spot, so the technician was constantly turning his head to catch sight of it. Malfunction, the Asset thought, just a little more smug than wary. The technician wasn’t a handler. The technician could hurt the Asset in the course of regular maintenance, when the Asset’s pain was incidental, but he didn’t have the authority to discipline it.

Whoever the technician was taking the Asset to might have that authority. Sobered by the thought, the Asset dropped back a few more paces. The radio had claimed that Alexander Pierce was dead, but there were others. There were always others.

[[TV playing in the corner shows driver’s license photos of suspected Hydra personnel that includes the technician; he sees the store clerk recognize him]]

“Shit,” the technician hissed, face twisting. He pulled his gun from the small of his back.

The clerk froze in place, her mouth opening in shock.

The Asset moved without knowing it was going to. Its flesh hand snatched the gun from the technician’s grip. The technician’s head snapped back as the Asset’s metal fist collided with its chin. The Asset heard the crack of bone.

The cashier screamed.

The technician was dead before he hit the floor.

The Asset separated the clip from the gun, set both of them on the floor, and left the gas station at a sprint.

[[disables tracker and whatever drug ampoules he can reach, manages to backtrack to Philly before collapsing to ride out the withdrawal]]

The Asset hadn’t expected to survive coming down from whatever drugs Hydra had used to keep it docile and compliant. At the worst stage of the withdrawal, when it was shaking, puking, and hallucinating in the basement of a condemned building, it had wished it was back in cryo, numb and frozen and not hurting. It would even have gone to the chair.

Two days later, it had crawled out of the basement, filthy and exhausted but more clear-headed than it could ever remember being.

The Asset was starting to feel a certain kinship with cockroaches.

The Asset spent more than a month just keeping low, moving only through shadows and sleeping once every three days, curling up on rooftops and in flophouses. Hydra didn’t find it. SHIELD didn’t find it. The Asset wasn’t sure there was any difference between the two, no matter what the radio had said, but either way, it wanted to avoid the interrogation Stark’s words had promised.

The Asset ruminated on Romanoff and Stark. It thought maybe Romanoff had been a fellow asset, and Stark had been a technician. Or maybe Stark was a stranger and Romanov an enemy. The Asset couldn’t decide, couldn’t seem to settle on a conclusion.

Neither of them had been a handler. The Asset was sure of that. Hydra had burned the memories of past missions out of its head, but they had made sure the Asset’s ability to recognize its betters was crystal fucking clear.

The Asset’s head ached constantly. Sometimes the pain was just a mild inconvenience, and sometimes it was incapacitating. It wasn’t clear whether to the Asset whether its brain was healing, or just turning to mush. The Asset had been eating mostly from trash cans. Its memories were incomplete at best, but it was certain people didn’t used to throw away so much food. Bruised fruit, stale bread, half-eaten hamburgers. Finding enough to sustain itself hadn’t been difficult.

The hand’s fingers did not open or close. The Asset had opened the forearm access panel and ripped out whatever it could reach, knowing that one of the components was a tracker and unable to distinguish which one. It had felt like fire burning up through the arm and into the shoulder, radiating agony down its back and up its neck into its skull, before the nervous system feedback had, mercifully, shorted out. The Asset could still raise the arm and rotate it at the elbow and shoulder, but the wrist and hand joints were locked in place.

It took weeks for the Asset to form anything approaching a plan. Taking care of basic needs like thirst and hunger were instinctual enough that the Asset could do them on autopilot, but it was out of the habit of thinking for itself.

[[Heads to Brooklyn like a homing pigeon; has vague memories of safety and belonging there. When he arrives, wanders disconsolately looking for where he used to live (without knowing that’s what he’s looking for), but can’t find it. The closest he can find is an alley, where he tries to sleep.]]

The Asset had been asleep with its head on the backpack. Tactical error. One of the boys must have pulled the backpack out by its straps. Now the backpack was four feet away, at the largest boy’s feet.

The three boys had frozen when the Asset swung upright, but as seconds passed while the Asset did nothing but stand rigidly still, they relaxed.

“Woah, easy there,” one of them said. He took a few steps away and looked at the mouth of the alley, either checking for pursuers or scouting an escape route.

“Relax, he’s just a fucking junkie,” the largest boy said quietly. Then, louder, “What’s in the backpack, man? You gonna share?”

The boy crouched beside the backpack, reaching for the zipper.

The Asset could kill him so easily, even with one malfunctioning hand. The steps were as clear as a roadmap: immobilize shoulder, grasp head, twist, drop. It would take less than a second.

The thought made its stomach churn. The Asset held itself rigid, every muscle locked in place, afraid that moving would lead to another body at its feet.

“Hey!” A new boy, his hair startlingly bright in the gloom of the alley, charged forward from the alley’s other end. He stepped in between the Asset and the threat and puffed up like an angry goose. His baggy coat and overstuffed backpack made him appear larger than his thin legs suggested he was. “Leave him alone!”

“Alex,” the third boy muttered, tugging on the largest boy’s sleeve. “C’mon, let’s go.”

Alex shrugged the hand off. He was half a foot taller than the boy standing challengingly in front of him. “We were just talking. What’s it to you?”

“You need to leave,” the blond boy said, voice hard. “You can’t just take people’s stuff.”

“Fuck you, I’ll go when I want to,” Alex retorted. “And I want to see what’s in the backpack first.”

Alex reached for the backpack’s zipper, but the blond boy slapped his hand away before he could touch it.

Enraged, Alex drew back his fist.

The Asset moved.

Alex’s punch landed full force on the Asset’s metal arm, sending a ringing vibration through its shoulder. Alex howled and pulled his hand back to his chest.

“You fucking--”

“Come on, Alex!” the second boy shouted. The third was already running. Alex let himself be pulled out of the alley, and within seconds the Asset was alone with the blond boy.

On closer inspection, the boy wasn’t a boy at all. He was short, no more than five and a half feet, but his voice was deep and his face had no trace of baby fat. The Asset estimated the man was in his mid-twenties.

“Sorry you had to deal with those guys,” the man said. He took a few steps back, leaving the Asset standing over its backpack. “I know one of them, he’s not so bad, but his cousin is a total dick. Are you all right? That sounded like a pretty hard punch." The man reached out and ran both hands up the Asset's left arm. The Asset didn't allow itself to flinch away.

The man’s hands squeezed gently, paused, squeezed more firmly. "Wow, that's--" His eyes went wide and his hands dropped away from the arm. He held them spread at chest height for a moment, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have grabbed your arm without asking. That was not okay, geez."

The Asset had no idea what was going on, but the man seemed upset, which made it nervous. Things didn’t go well when people around the Asset were upset.

It slowly picked up the backpack. When the man didn't do anything but watch, the Asset settled the backpack straps over its shoulders, feeling more secure.

The man reached his pocket and the Asset tensed. It calculated the hang of the jacket and the size of the pocket bulge automatically; not heavy enough for a gun, but a knife could be small and light, or a taser--

He pulled out a rectangle wrapped in blue foil. "Are you hungry? I have an energy bar. It's, uh." He flipped the bar over and squinted in the dim light. "Blueberry lemon flavored. You want any?"

The man half-unwrapped the bar and handed it to the Asset. The Asset took it and bit, tentatively. It was chalky and sweet. Blueberry lemon, it thought, memorizing the taste.

“Not bad, right?" the man said. "That was my last one, sorry. Are you still hungry?"

The Asset knew better than to admit to a weakness, but the man seemed to know anyway. He just kept talking.

"I know a church near here that has food, usually, and a place to sleep if you don't mind waking up with the bells. We could go there now, if you want."

The Asset thought about this. It had to sleep somewhere, and evidently the alley wasn’t safe. The blond man wasn't a threat. If the church was a trap, the Asset could run.

The Asset nodded, and the man smiled.

"Great! It's a little over a mile, are you okay to walk that? Oh!" He smacked his forehead, making the Asset startle. "I forgot to introduce myself, sorry. My name's Steve."

SO THAT’S WHAT I GOT. I have about 14,000 more words of this story written, so either I’ll finish it and post it as a complete fic or I’ll officially give up and post it somewhere as a morgue file.

[technomanish]

If someone sets fire to your trousers once, are you ever really going to trust them with a box of matches again?

That’s just how big a deal the Galaxy Note 8 is for Samsung. Last year’s explosive Note 7 launch (and subsequent recall) was nothing short of calamitous, so its successor absolutely has to restore confidence in the battered sub-brand.

The good news? It’s every bit the kick-ass flagship phablet you’d expect it to be.

With design and display smarts borrowed from the Galaxy S8, software tweaks that give productivity a boost, and an upgraded S Pen that’s learned a few extra tricks, the Note 8 shouldn’t have any trouble shooting straight to the top of Samsung’s smartphone offerings.

And that’s before you start playing with the dual rear cameras – marking the first time the tech has appeared on a Samsung phone.

I got to try one out ahead of launch to bring you some early hands-on impressions. And I didn’t even need my oven gloves.

DESIGN & BUILD: TIME TO GET SERIOUS

With more angular edges and a screen that curves at a much steeper angle, you can instantly tell the Note 8 apart from Samsung’s other top-end phones.

The Galaxy S8 is smooth, soft, and almost pebble-like, but this feels like it means business – even in the jazzy new Maple Gold colour. We get the choice of gold or Midnight Black colours here in the UK, while the rest of the world gets Deep Sea Blue and Orchid Grey.

The metal frame still gives you something meaty to get your mitts around, and the skinny 18:9 aspect ratio screen means you don’t need the hands of a giant to grip it – even with a whopping 6.3in AMOLED panel squeezed in there.

A lot of features have been ported across from the Galaxy S8, including the digital home button – with the screen taking up so much space, there’s no room for a fingerprint sensor up front.

It gets moved to the back, right next to those dual cameras. There’s the smallest of bumps to let you know you’re fondling the fingerprint sensor and not the camera lenses, but it’s still awkward to reach – maybe even more so here because of the sheer size of the phone. Samsung is clearly hoping you’ll use iris or face recognition instead.

The whole thing is water-resistant, you still get a 3.5mm headphone jack, and there’s USB-C charging at the bottom – so the full package, basically.

There’s also the ever-present Bixby button on the left, just below the volume controls. Samsung’s live-in butler still hasn’t found his voice, at least here in the UK, but it is apparently due to arrive shortly after the Note 8 launches.

CAMERA: SEEING DOUBLE

Dual cameras have been doing the rounds for a while now, but this is the first time Samsung has joined the fray. The Note 8 has two 12MP snappers, and is the first phone to give ‘em both optical image stabilisation.

It’s an interesting approach, with the main sensor getting the same f/1.7 aperture and dual-pixel autofocus as the Galaxy S8, but the secondary telephoto lens sticking with f/2.4 and phase-detect AF only.

That means you can toggle between 1x and 2x ‘optical zoom’, to get closer to your subjects without actually moving, only without any nasty digital noise or compression.

Naturally there’s a bokeh-blurring portrait mode, too: Samsung calls it Live Focus, because you can tweak the amount of blur before you press the shutter button. It saves two shots, so you can go back and adjust the effect (or delete it altogether) whenever you like.

The 8MP selfie cam up front is probably using the same snapper as the Galaxy S8, seeing how both have f/1.7 apertures and autofocus.

Everything felt quick and responsive, but how the Note 8 compares to the rest of the dual camera-toting world will boil down to pure image quality. Samsung isn’t really doing anything different from what we’ve seen before, even if it is the first with dual OIS, so I’ll only be excited if it takes fantastic photos.

Of course, the Galaxy S8 is one of the best smartphone snappers around, so that feels like a pretty safe bet.

SCREEN & SOUND: BIGGER IS BETTER

If you’ve seen a Galaxy S8 or S8+ in the wild, you’ll know exactly what to expect here: the Note 8 has an absolute stunner of a screen.

The AMOLED panel has the same super-high 2960×1440 resolution, only here it’s stretched out over 6.3in. That means pixel density isn’t quite as high as the S8, but that’s still loads more pixels than you’ll be able to make out without the help of a microscope.

That extra screen space isn’t wasted with cutesy curves, either. The screen sides still bend around the edge of the phone, but at a much sharper angle, leaving more space to doodle onscreen with the S Pen.

It can crank the brightness up to ridiculous levels when you step outside, so you won’t ever have a problem seeing what’s onscreen, and the contrast we’ve come to expect from OLED screens gives movies and games a gorgeous, cinematic look with deep blacks and vibrant colours.

I didn’t get a chance to properly test out the built-in speakers, so can’t speak for quality just yet, but if the Galaxy S8 is any indication, the Note will be plenty loud enough to catch up on Podcasts and YouTube videos without reaching for a pair of headphones – even if Samsung does bundle a tasty pair of AKG ‘buds in the box.

OS & SOFTWARE: THE WRITE STUFF

Give the S Pen a poke and it pops out of its sheath with a satisfying, spring-loaded pop. This is when Samsung’s Android customisations spring into life, letting you pick from a whole host of different abilities and tools.

All the old favourites return, but new for 2017 are Live Message, a cute way to draw doodles or annotate images for livening up your Whatsapp chats; PENUP, a social hub for sharing your S Pen sketches; and live translation of whole sentences, instead of just single words. The Pen’s 4096 levels of pressure should come in pretty handy for digital artists looking to get their creativity flowing, too.

Beyond the S Pen, Samsung’s spin on Android is a lot more minimal than in previous years. Sure, the icons look a little different, but Touchwiz really is massively improved. You can even swap the Back and Recents keys, if you don’t like the Galaxy way of doing things.

The only real flourish is the Edge panel, which lets you swipe between app shortcuts, contacts and widgets from any screen. App Pairs can be pinned here too, opening two apps simultaneously with a single tap. Think maps and music whenever you get in the car, or YouTube and a web browser for a soundtrack while you browse.

Samsung has also tweaked the software that kicks in when you slam a Note 8 into the DEX docking station, too. A lot more of the keyboard shortcuts that come as second nature on a Mac or PC work here now, and you can finally run certain troublesome apps on the big screen at full-size, instead of in a window. It’ll even play nicely with games now, too.

DEX makes a lot more sense for the Note than it did for the Galaxy, because it’s so focused on productivity. That’s probably why Samsung is bundling the two together, at least for people that pre-order the phone.

PERFORMANCE & BATTERY LIFE: NO SURPRISES

As if there was ever any doubt: The Note 8 absolutely flies. With the same octa-core Exynos 8895 CPU as the Galaxy S8 (at least here in Blighty) there’s nothing that won’t run smoothly on that super-high resolution screen.

With an even bigger emphasis on multi-tasking this year, it makes sense that Samsung would stuff 6GB of RAM inside it, too. Using two apps in Multi Window won’t be a problem, and the S Pen integration pops in and out without any slowdown or stutter.

There’s an ample 64GB of on-board storage for all your apps, plus a microSD card slot should you need more room later down the line.

How long you’ll be able to go between charges is the biggest mystery right now. A 3300mAh battery feels like Samsung playing it safe, but that’s understandable. I’m expecting it to comfortably last a day, but need topping up overnight – at least if you’re using it as more than a glorified MP3 player, anyway.

SAMSUNG GALAXY NOTE 8 INITIAL VERDICT

So, does the Note 8 do anything drastic to shake up Samsung’s now-familiar Galaxy Note formula? No, not really – but then it doesn’t have to. It just has to avoid blowing up.

Sure, the iPhone might have won over a few ex-Galaxy owners when the Note 7 disappeared from shelves last year, but with nothing truly taking its place, it wasn’t going to be too tricky for Samsung to waltz back in and reclaim the throne it had just vacated. The S Pen really is that damn good.

The Note 8 feels like every bit the superphone, with plenty of power, a gorgeous design, and productivity boosts that should keep it the king of stylus-toting smartphones. I can’t wait to get one and give it a full review, to see if those dual cameras can deliver.

The largest display on any Note ever (6.3 inches) If someone sets fire to your trousers once, are you ever really going to trust them with a box of matches again?

[mintfoxmedia-blog]

Disney World Tips for First Timers

Hey y’all!

I’m a ghost / content writer & recently I was  invited to write a post for one of my clients, a travel agent.  The request was  for Disney World Tips for first timers.  I had a lot of fun writing this article and complied it by asking hundreds of people what their top tips were.  Without going into specific ride & park information, I think it’s one of the most comprehensive guides you’ll find.  

Anyway, the guy didn’t pay me, and hasn’t responded, so here’s the article!    I’ll post more relevant stuff here as I go, or content that people might find interesting.   Let me know if I missed any tips and if you found it helpful!

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Disney World is the most magical place on Earth, few people would argue that, except for maybe some first timers who have gone there unprepared.  Here’s everything you need to know to make sure you have a vacation filled with the special moments that your family will remember and cherish forever!

The park is a lot bigger than you think.

Disneyland (in California) isn’t small by any means, but you can still walk from park to park and to Downtown Disney.   Disney World, by contrast, is the size of San Francisco.  It’s twice the size of Manhattan, New York.  This is no joke.  This means the following for you:

*  You need comfortable shoes, that are broken in.  These should be able to get wet without being uncomfortable,  and it wouldn’t hurt to bring extra socks in a ziplock baggie in case you do get splashed or rained on .     You should bring extra bandaids, moleskin, or blister spray to be extra prepared for blisters.  Some of my friends bring baby powder, or a Gold Bond friction stick, in case their thighs start chafing from all of the walking around.

You need to factor in at least a half an hour, but realistically more like an hour, of transportation time from park to park, park to parking lot, and park to hotel.   If you stay on Disney property, the transit time is cut in half, but still substantial.  Factor in that you never know if a kid is going to have a melt down or if you will run into a street performer or have a random magic moment, and your travel time may multiply.

There are buses, trams, and monorails involved.  Even the occasional boat!   If your kid (or travel companion) is afraid of heights, doesn’t like loud noises, gets motion sickness, or bored easily,  you may want to add dramamine, coloring books, and earphones to your stash of goodies to bring.  Make sure you’re familiar with the system, because it’s not a fun feeling when you get on the monorail at the end of the day to find out that they’re all going back to the parking lot, when you have to go back to a Disney hotel.

2.   There are a lot more people there than you think.

  50,000 people attend Disney World every single day.    Which means the following:

Restaurants are often booked to capacity, 180 days ahead of time.  Make the reservations for the places you really want to eat at as far in advance as you can.

Rides are often booked, too.    Get there early and head straight to the most popular ride, this is a pro-tip I learned from Disney insiders.   You can get Fast Passes or Fast Pass plus tickets for the other rides throughout the day.  Ride wait times are generally overestimated by about 5-15 minutes, so they will go down.  If a ride has a 5 minute wait time, this means no line!   Ride it, even if it might be something you were on the fence about.    Switching Rider passes is useful if you have children who are not tall or old enough to ride a particular ride.  One parent rides the ride with the eligible children, while the other parent stands somewhere with the younger children.   Afterwards, the parents switch, and board the ride without a wait, and the good news is that the older kids get to go on the ride a second time!  This is another way around some line times.

Your stroller, car seat, bag, or whatever you’re using throughout the day is not as unique as you think it is.   It’s a purple stroller with polka dots?  Unless it was custom made for you, I’m pretty sure someone else has it as well.  Think luggage at baggage claim at Heathrow Airport, and make sure you have streamers or some kind of colorful ribbon combination on your stuff so you know what’s what. It also wouldn’t hurt to have your name, picture, and contact information on it because let’s face it, some people are crooks or accidental thieves.

Character lines are often a long wait as well, and usually in the heat,  so make sure you don’t wait for characters unless your children have to see them.    You’re better served sometimes booking a character breakfast because while costlier, it’s easier to see more characters who come to you while you’re eating.  This saves on valuable time and avoids meltdowns.

3.  A good deal of Walt Disney World is outside.

Make sure you bring sunscreen.   Even if it’s a cloudy, overcast day, this is Central Florida and the sun does not discriminate.  The worst hours are between 12 and 2, so make extra sure if you’re not back at the hotel napping at this time, you’re reapplying your sunscreen.

There will be water.  Even if you manage to not ride Splash Mountain, there might be rain.   Bring an extra change of clothes in ziplock bags.   Bring a ziplock bag to stash your phone in so it’s still operable at the end of the day.   Wear waterproof makeup and sunscreen.    You can bring your own ponchos that are much cheaper than the ones sold in park, not to mention, more convenient when the drops start falling to just pull it out of your bag.

You can bring your own refillable water bottle into the parks.  You can also buy a cup and visit any Disney World restaurant counter for free water and water refills throughout the day. Try to stay hydrated to avoid feeling terrible on the following days of your vacation.

There are baby stations that have high chairs, microwaves, and changing areas in each park, and it’s a great way to get a baby or small child out of the chaos.

4.  Disney World can be expensive if you have a small budget or a large family.  Fortunately, there are some things you can do to alleviate this:

Bring snacks and food from home (Disney is one of the few parks that allows this).

If you don’t want to carry a lot of food, you can also work the Dining Plans and swap credits around to get the most bang for your buck.

We’ve talked about bringing ponchos before, you can also bring other items from home to avoid buying them again.  Tylenol, bug spray,  and hair ties are just a few examples.

* Bring your own glow and light up toys to pull out at the nighttime parades or fireworks shows so your kids don’t want what the other kids have.

5.   Disney World has a ton of attractions, but there are probably some fun and games you probably didn’t know about!

You can bring pins of Disney characters to the park, and trade with other guests.  If you ask to trade with a cast member, they are required to trade with you in most cases (There is a list of rules you can look up).  This is a really good way to gain valuable or rare pins, and it becomes a really fun game seeking out those pins that are especially memorable.

Hollywood Studios has some Star Wars fun, and there are Jawas there who will trade trinkets and toys with your children, just like the pin program mentioned above.  Buy some dollar store toys and have them on hand so you don’t have to buy a ton of expensive stuff in a gift shop.

Hidden Mickeys are images that look like Mickey Mouse’s head and they are hidden throughout the park on everything from architectural elements to handrails.   Show your children or friends a Hidden Mickey, and for the rest of the trip you’ll be hearing about them being located everywhere.  It’s a really fun scavenger hunt, and takes away some of the boredom of waiting in lines and walking from ride to ride.

There are free events at many of the resorts, like their Under the Stars Movie Nights.

6.  There are memories to be made everywhere

Make sure you bring a cell phone charger,  or use Forever Chargers.  You can pay $30 for a cell phone battery charger brick, and when it runs out, you just replace it at a kiosk for another one.   It’s expensive but very convenient.

You can buy the photo package, which comes with a DVD and book of all of your pictures and memories throughout the trip.  This is great if you don’t remember to take pictures or want every family member to be in every picture. You can also ask the photographers to take the pictures on your cell phone, if you don’t want to buy the package.

7.  There’s so much to do,  you couldn’t do it all if you had an entire month.

Make a list of what you want to do, and then cut it in half.   That’s a more likely representation of how your day is going to go, and how much you’ll actually be able to accomplish.

Have a back up plan.  If the kids are tired or hot,  take them other places, like rides with air conditioning or to Tom Sawyer Island for a little bit of a break.

Hotels, when staying on property, are a great place to go back to and take naps in-between rides, parades, and meals.

Use the Fast Pass system to your advantage and strategically plan out your day to make the most of your time.   The worst thing that can happen to you is that you wander around all day without doing anything because you didn’t want to wait in lines and by the time you found a ride that didn’t have a line the entire day was almost over.

Go to your most sought after ride first, ride it early in the morning, and then get a fast pass for the same ride when you exit.  You’ll be happy you did.

If you can’t get every ride and every thing you want,  it’s okay, because there will always be a next time!

Here’s a handy-dandy list of what to bring:

comfortable shoes

extra socks and clothes in a Zip Lock bag

another baggie for your smartphone

refillable water bottle

snacks

coloring book & crayons, activity books

earphones, pressure point  bracelets, dramamine

sunscreen

band-aids or moleskin

baby powder or Gold Bond friction stick

bug spray

hairties or hairclips

your list of things you must do so you don’t forget anything

phone charging cable, or you can use the Forever Chargers on property

a camera

an amazing attitude

[geekade]

Jump on that Grenade

I’m not a really exciting guy. I have boring interests and a tendency to dwell on minutiae. I find myself with large chunks of time on my hands to look into things that jab at my brain and turn them over and over until I reach an elusive satisfaction point or fatigue point.

I don’t have much money. That is relevant such that this entire thought exercise is for naught. I will not be buying the product. Not to mention there are countless other products that suffer no such issue warranting a completely unwarranted thought exercise.

Still with me?

I read an article at Tech Spot about how the new AMD Radeon RX550 budget graphics card could potentially be coupled with the affordable Intel Pentium 4560 CPU to create a relatively cheap, yet still competitive eSports gaming PC. My curiosity was piqued by several factors:

I was never sure about the relevance of budget tier graphics processing units or ‘graphics cards’ (GPU) since, if they weren’t pulling smooth frame rates, why accelerate the graphics at all beyond integrated solutions? If you’re getting bumped from 9 frames per second (FPS) to 20 FPS… well… it’s still unplayable. Why?

The RX 550 GPU and the Intel Pentium 4560 CPU are both modern, budget offerings and I’m always looking for cheap computer hardware that might prove itself to be a sort of a value sweet spot, which, *spoilers* this might be.

How could eSports possibly be played competitively on budget hardware? A couple dropped frames could mean death in heated competition.

So I read the article and perused the benchmarks. As it turns out, many of the most popular eSports games of today (which at the time of this writing, is a Wednesday) can utilize modern hardware to look super pretty, but rely on basic enough game engines to play well on limited hardware. Not necessarily on old hardware, but on limited hardware.

We’ve frequently plateaued in computing hardware where for a while we will all find ourselves with ‘enough’ computing performance. This is the 7th generation of modern CPUs, at least by Intel’s count, and easily since the 2nd or 3rd generation (Sandy Bridge and Ivy Bridge) we’ve had what can be considered enough power. People can still use PCs based on Sandy Bridge or Ivy Bridge tech and not necessarily be aware they’re missing out on the new stuff. Likewise, they might jump from 3rd to 6th or 7th generation gear and it will feel better, but not necessarily perceptibly so. It all depends on what you’re doing with your computer.

As it turns out, eSports titles will run on enough computers, and today’s 7th generation budget hardware is enough. The benchmarks in the article show that DOTA, Counter-Strike, and even Rocket League can take the new sub-100 dollar GPU and 50 dollar CPU and give gamers medium to high graphics settings at full HD resolutions at 55-60+ FPS, which is both playable and frankly, surprising to me.

Why pay any more than that then? Well because eliminating that dip below 60+ FPS altogether will make a visible difference and adding features like anti-aliasing will smooth out on-screen edges and now the new golden ring is playing games at 4k resolutions for pin sharp fidelity BUT! none of those things are necessities.

Having a gaming PC isn’t even a necessity but that’s not the point! The point is that it is an easier goal to achieve than, seemingly, ever before!

Now, what does any of this have to do with grenades? Is it because games like Counter-Strike, mentioned once, have grenades? Is that the connection? No. It gets much more boring than that I assure you.

In the article, in one of the photos of the test system, the mainboard they used is pictured – the AsRock H110m-HDS, which is a decidedly budget mainboard. However, my brain immediately wondered “Is there a cheaper mainboard or a better value mainboard?” so I hurried over to PCPartPicker.com to find out.

There are cheaper mainboards. The MSI B150m Grenade is not a cheaper mainboard. It is, in fact, a few dollars more expensive. But it is based on a chipset with more features which I feel makes the Grenade a better value because it would allow more future expansion, making a system built around it a better all-around build. Specifically, the Grenade offers an m.2 port for high-speed Solid State Drives, and while that is the opposite of a budget component if there ever was one, it does then become an option in the future to significantly boost the performance of the entire computer in one component swap.

The Grenade Is touted as an enthusiast model, made for gaming, which does leave its sub-60 dollar price slightly suspect. It has fancy branding, and it has lighting FX, both of which are not conventionally budget offerings, and are entirely frivolous, aside from appealing to your own personal aesthetic. However. The Grenade has an unusual back panel port array for a modern desktop computer.

We’re in an era where USB 3.0 ports offer terrific data transfer speeds as well as backward compatibility with any USB peripheral of the past. We’re entering an era where USB-C is going to take over, if we can ever work out how to deal with the sea of dongles and the overwhelming 37+ versions of the so-called universal USB-C port (a redundant reference, I know).

The Grenade features a scant 1 USB 3.1 port and 1 USB-C port, leaving us with a meager 4 additional USB 2.0 ports. And I said to myself, well, obviously, someone really dropped the ball with the port layout and therefore we have this super budget ‘enthusiast’ mainboard. How could they get it so wrong? Why USB 2.0 ports?

And then the wheels kept turning. Why bother with USB 3.0 ports?

Well. Why do we want USB 3.0 ports? We want them for data transfer speeds. They are ten, or now with USB 3.1, up to twenty times faster than USB 2.0 ports. If you’re waiting on moving large volumes of data that speed becomes a requirement quickly. Hours of transfer time becomes seconds of transfer time and you can move on with your life. But, for most average people, even gamers, how often are you moving large quantities of data out of your computer or into your computer via physical device and not via the internet? Surprisingly rarely. Maybe backing up your computer, if you’re smart and back up your computer.

Everything you use aside from thumb drives and hard drives is locked in at USB 2.0 speeds because USB 2.0 is enough. Your keyboard, mouse, printer, scanner, your USB audio devices, even your webcam, even your novelty cup warmer, all use the venerable USB 2.0 interface and top out at a theoretical 480 Megabits per second transfer rate. They do not benefit from being plugged into a USB 3.0 port. In fact, on rare occasions, plugging these things into USB 3.0 ports adversely affects their performance. For instance, some USB 3.0 ports will not support peripherals at boot. Sometimes, USB 3.0 ports will introduce electrical noise into audio devices. In super specific cases writing data to USB 2.0 devices over a USB 3.0 port will disrupt the writes. These types of things are rare but they happen.

I considered these things as I wondered why, when other boards feature four to eight USB 3.0 ports, sometimes even with one or two additional USB 3.1 ports, and a USB-C port once in a blue moon, why would this board, in its weird budget-not-budget place that it’s in, have four USB 2.0 ports, and one USB 3.1 port with a USB-C port added for the future?

Because. Because it’s enough.

It’s better than enough. It’s great. It’s everything you need and nothing you don’t and by not having the extra ports added on just in case it shaves cents off the total cost of the board to the manufacturer and in turn to the consumer. It’s got the features, just not an excess of them.

For no reason I can really discern, I’ve studied this mainboard and its curious port array for way, WAY longer than ANYONE should. It made my weird mind curious and I thought about it for a really long time. In fact, the reason this article exists is in the interest of possibly draining it from my brain in a less gruesome manner than trepanning.

It didn’t work. I probably know too much about this board now. In fact, I want one, even though I do not need one. As much as I love true enthusiast hardware like mainboards going for $200+ with ‘all of the ports’ I think the B150m Grenade is a great board and more importantly a good value to most PC builders. This is an honest position, unspoiled by deals or compensation. It’s just the preoccupation of someone with too much time on their hands.

Wanna build a budget gaming PC? Good place to start.