#Melog is the first one to bust outta there and we will never know why

[nny11writes]

Hey-ho! Scrolling through your blog and saw a fanfic prompt about a girl falling for guy because her cat really liked him, would you consider doing a one-shot for Glitra, with How to Quit You only 4 chapters away from finishing?

Let's be fair, at the rate I'm writing How to Quit You I'll be done in a short 2 years :p

But also, hell yeah I'll write a glitra meet cute one shot where Melog is the reason they get together!

Somehow this got longer than I expected, which really, I need to stop expecting I can write short things. Like, honestly.

Melog Likes Glimmer and Catra Goes Along for the Ride

Rating: Teen for the cursing factor

Catra glared down at Melog.

Melog stared innocently back up at her, slow blinking to prove a point.

“No.” She huffed. “You broke out of your playpen again and then you went to her house. We are not being lovey dovey mister. You are in trouble.”

Melog turned away to meow. She wasn’t sure why he didn’t seem to like it when she saw him meowing, but whatever. He was back talking and she wasn’t going to stand for it.

“Yes you are.”

Another mew.

“You were a naughty boy. A brat cat. A rebellious toddler.”

He gave the softest meow yet, then stretched before walking away.

“Excuse me? I’m talking to you! HEY!”

Catra scooped him up to hold like a baby, and Melog began purring instantly. “Stop being so damn cute for, like, five seconds. You broke out of your pod to spend time with Sparkles. You are on thin ice buddy.”

In six years, Melog had never once tried to escape his Outdoor Play Pod. She’d hook it up to the sliding door and Melog could make his way in and out of the house in a safe and controlled manner. Catra was used to stepping out the side door to watch him happily watching the various birds fly by, lounging on his side as he chuttered at the occasional pigeon on the telephone wires.

And then she moved in next door.

Glimmer was loud and obnoxious and clearly out to do Catra in. She hosted parties at least once a week that were loud and could go late into the night. …Late for working adults okay, if Catra could hear them laughing outside or their stupid music after 10:00 PM her chest would literally start to hurt from rage. And then, Glimmer had shown up one day with a platter of cookies to meet all her neighbors with after a month of madness..

Cookies.

First of all, who does that? Second of all, Catra’s celiac had been acting up because she’d thoughtlessly eaten a piece of freaking candy earlier and she’d somehow missed the glucose syrup.

So that conversation went something like:

“Hi! I’m Glimmer, your new neighbor!”

“I’m gluten free.”

“...Okay? Hello to you too. And come on, a little cheat won’t hurt, will it?”

“I’m literally allergic to gluten, so yeah, it will.”

“...uhm, my bad. So-”

“Bye.”

Admittedly, not Catra’s best work in the social sphere. But also, when she’d gone over to complain about a party a few days later (in a very calm and more normal human manner thank you very much) Glimmer’s response had been a very childish, “What? I can’t hear you over the sound of my music. Oh well, have a nice night!” So their rivalry was justified.

Things had only gotten more out of hand one awful morning when Glimmer had caught Catra shoveling Madam Razz’s drive, and then tried to be “nice” and “chat with her”. Disgusting. They’d gone back and forth, snide and coldly polite, just all over the place before a tense silence became the norm. They’d gone into a sort of cold war that winter and it had been whatever until the late spring.

Because now Melog was finding ways to escape his custom built playpen.

Sure, Entrapta was going to be thrilled to find out how Melog was doing it to perfect the design of her catio creation, but Catra was the one who had to deal with going outside, having a heart attack when Melog was missing, and then hearing that annoying voice cooing over her cat.

Hence the current punishment snuggle which was being highly ineffective.

“You,” Catra grumbled into his soft chest fluff, “are an ecological terror and therefore an indoor cat. So cut it out, will you?”

He did not, in fact, cut it out.

Within a few weeks while Catra had been reading, confident in the cameras and sensors Entrapta had rigged to alert her if Melog made another escape attempt, when there was a knock at her door. She ignored it, because if it wasn’t some package she’d forgotten she’d ordered then it wasn’t important. But they knocked again even louder before ringing her doorbell. Catra fumbled for her bookmark cursing as the doorbell began to ring nonstop, finally tearing the door open with a snarl only to find Glimmer standing there with Melog draped over her shoulders.

Catra stared at them dumbly before slowly looking at her computer screen where the sensors were all still green, before turning to glare at Melog’s contented little face. “You- son of a bitch!”

Glimmer did something that sounded like a half growl half huff before shouting back, “Will you piss off!? I’m just returning him!”

“Shut up, I wasn’t talking to you! YOU on the other hand, what the fuck dude? How did you get past the weight sensors?” To say Catra was livid was an understatement. She didn’t even bother to close the door, assuming that Glimmer would either follow her or stay there, as she stomped to pull the sliding door open. And there inside the pod, was a small pile of rocks. “WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET ROCKS!?”

Glimmer snorted as she looked over Catra’s shoulder. Breaking out into nervous giggles, “Oh shit, you’ve been busting out of jail to visit me? He’s not an outdoor cat?”

“NO!” Catra took a slow deep breath and then released it just as slowly. Blowing up at her rival neighbor was probably the same thing as losing a battle. “No. He’s an indoor only and somehow found the only rocks in a ten fucking mile radius while being an indoor only cat to trick the weight sensors I installed to alert me if he escaped again.”

Melog, still limp as a dish cloth over Glimmer’s shoulders, didn’t even feel enough guilt to be awake for this conversation.

“You installed sensors? That’s pretty cool! My best friend, Bow, is a real tech nerd. I bet you’d have a blast talking to him.”

Catra could feel her ears burning as she grumbled, “I mean, sort of. My friend Entrapta made them and I passed her screws. So I helped.”

Glimmer cackled so loudly that Melog finally woke with a yelp, then scrambled off his perch to sit inside the house like a good boy.

“Shut up!”

“Y-you passssssed the screws!” Glimmer wheezed.

“I was helping!”

This was the wrong thing to say as her neighbor snorted and continued to laugh so much that Catra really had no choice but to join in. She just really found a good laugh infectious, okay? She would give her frenemy that one.

Glimmer had left shortly thereafter, allowing Catra to berate Melog in private before realizing that she was more speculating about this strange new person in her life. She could feel her stubborn insistence that her newish neighbor was a menace leaking out of her as she side eyed her cat. “Why do you like her so much?” He twisted to begin his kitty yoga bath session and Catra sighed. Well, so much for that.

Melog escaping was just starting to be a Thing that she would have to live with alongside the fact that he’d apparently chosen himself a second human.

The next time Melog vanished the sensors at least alerted her, and when Catra ran out the backdoor she found Melog waiting for her at the fence. He stared at her until he was sure she was watching and then gracefully leaped over it into Glimmer’s backyard. She saw red. That bastard had waited until he knew she could see him break the law. On purpose.

“I WILL END YOU!”

Some people might say Catra was dramatic, but really she just treated things with the level headed emotional dysregulation they deserved. She kept this very rational rationale in mind as she also jumped onto her back patio railing, then took one great jump and did the cleanest kong vault of her life over the fence.

In the air her brain registered the following: Flowers by fence, grass past flowers, hard surface on right, soon to be dead cat straight ahead.

After rolling on the grass and springing out of it to easily close the distance to said cat did her brain register a few other important details like: What the fuck was she doing this is private property and Glimmer could bust her for this one, Melog could totally side step her and Catra would face plant into the earth, and Glimmer was sitting in a lounge chair in a tankini staring at her open mouthed because Melog was sitting in front of the chair.

ABORT, ABORT, ABORT!

Catra managed to bring her legs up under her for what was sure to be a painful and sudden stop at about the same time Glimmer fled her chair so fast she basically teleported out of the way. So Catra landed in a deep squat, grabbed her smug bastard child, jumped over the chair to lose some momentum somewhere besides “via faceplant”, and then froze as soon as she had him secured against her chest.

She slowly turned around to look at Glimmer who was staring at her still, but instead of with disdain while calling the cops Glimmer’s eyes were sparkling.

“I am so-”

“That was AWESOME!!!” Glimmer whooped, literally jumping as she punched at the air over her head like some sort of straight to home children’s movie protagonist.

What?

“What?” She asked.

“It was like, Melog no you know you can’t be here! And then- WHOOSH you were FLYING and then you just ROLL, HI-YAH, and holy shit you looked like a goddamn panther! And then, scoop,WHA-PAH! Ahhhhhh!! It was great!”

Catra just blinked rapidly as she panted from the exertion, watching as Glimmer (now panting from speaking so quickly nonstop while reenacting key parts of the last 2 horrific minutes of Catra’s life) beamed at her. And, this cannot and should not be understated, while looking delightfully tanned in her form-fitting tankini. This felt like high school her’s best sort of unimaginative wet dreams.

And that was the thought that somehow made her relax, because it was just stupid enough to break through the regular stupid she’d gotten her head into.

“You know what?” Catra grinned, cocking one hip out as she looked at the fence again, “It was pretty cool, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah it was! How did you even get that high up?”

Catra did her best not to roll her eyes and did not mention the railing.. “It’s only a five foot fence, we can literally see over the top of it.”

Glimmer had no such issue and rolled her eyes so hard she had to roll her head a little too. “So what? I still couldn’t jump it like you did. Climb it, sure! You work out or something?”

Oh no. Catra was all too aware of the way Glimmer looked her whole body up and down. SO much for escaping the stupid headspace. “Uh, yeah? Yes. I do work out.”

Great. She was officially turning into Adora. Just what she needed.

“Cool. Me too!” Glimmer flashed her a thumbs up before walking with purpose towards her side gate to let Catra out. “We should totally work out together sometime.”

Safely back inside with Melog now temporarily forbodden from his outdoor pod that it hit her, she’d just agreed to willingly spend more time with Glimmer every single week. Just because her dumb cat liked her! Who does that?

What was wrong with her for going along with this?

The answer was more than she’d like, but still less than most people would assume.

Catra sat outside with Melog for two weeks waiting to see how he did it, but Houdini 2.0 merely watched the birds even when she pretended to be asleep. Week three, she stepped away for a few minutes just to use the restroom and when she returned he was gone.

A casual glance over the fence (she swore to herself she was never jumping it again) revealed no Melog or Glimmer but her back door was opened a little so at least he was being consistent. She was already walking to her side gate when she heard a surprised shriek from Glimmer’s house before a loud bang, and despite her promise, Catra was jumping the fence.

“GLIMMER!?” There was a yelp and Catra quickly darted in through the backdoor. “Sparkles I swear to fuck! Are you-” and then she rounded the corner to find Glimmer’s hair barely peeking out from under a giant sheet and a tall wooden chair that was tipped over across her legs. Melog was happily loafed on roughly what looked like Glimmer’s chest. “-okay?”

The sheet sucked in, outlining Glimmer’s lips for a second, before ballooning out a little. “Yup.”

“Uh, you want some help?”

“Nope.”

Well, this was turning into a very lovingly made awkward sandwich with extra awkward sauce.

“Cool. So, what’s all this?”

Glimmer groaned pitifully as Catra began noticing a few extra details she’d missed at a glance. There were two more chairs with their backs towards the lump formerly known as Glimmer. A strand of fairy lights was slowly twinkling away under the sheet. And every area of the floor not covered in the sheet was covered in pillows or…cushions? Catra looked at the sad looking couch which was now missing it’s cushions for confirmation. There was really only one thing this could be.

“Did you- is this a blanket fort?” It was kinda funny. Catra was equally jealous because she’d never gotten to have a proper blanket fort in her life and also gleeful over having caught a full grown adult sitting in their blanket fort. There was an unintelligible grumble, so Catra lightly kicked at Glimmer’s exposed foot as she sing songed, “Didn’t catch that.”

“It’s not a fort, it’s a castle!” She huffed as she finally sat up properly, causing Melog to leap off her onto one of the chairs.

Catra burst into giggles and happily mocked, “Oooohhhh, excuse me princess! I meant no disrespect to your blanket castle!”

Glimmer leaned back on her hands with a glare, “You can just say, ‘Wow Glimmer I’m so jealous of your cool blanket castle that I could die’ and that would be enough.”

“I’m not jealous!” She tried to say it with firmness but considering the giggle fit that probably failed.

“Mmmmm, I think you’re lying.” Glimmer nodded seriously as she hauled herself up to fix the roof of her castle. “I think you’d love to curl up on these high quality cushions in the security of my castle walls. I even have candy and snacks in here!”

Catra had barely managed to open her mouth when Glimmer cut her off, “Gluten free! I did some looking so we have dove chocolate and beef jerky, as well as some puffed rice.”

“Glimmer,” she sounded way too fond. Catra needed to dial that back a little bit, but instead continued in the same voice, “I’m lactose intolerant and beef jerky seasonings can have gluten.”

“...well what the fuck sort of cursed half life are you living?”

Catra sighed dramatically as she toed off her shoes, ducking into the doorway to the castle as Glimmer held the sheet up for her. “I ask myself that everyday.”

It was fine, friends totally stayed over for an afternoon at one another’s houses in blanket forts. Probably. When she got home, Catra considered the fact that Melog was insistent already towards them spending time with Glimmer, for whatever reason. And that she was becoming more and more okay with it as they spent more and more time together (the work outs really were working out after all). Which is how she came up with a terrible idea and went digging through the closet.

Within a few weeks Catra knocked on Glimmer’s door, glaring down at Melog in his harness. “Don’t blow this for me.” Melog stared up innocently at her and slow blinked. “I’m serious dude.”

“Catra!” Glimmer smiled as she opened the door and then gasped. Her eyes watered up as she looked at Melog and asked in a strangled voice, “Is that a liddle vest? IS THAT A BOW TIE? Oh! What a handsome boy! What a handsome young man in his widdle vesty westy!”

Catra knew she was blushing horrifically. Okay, she’d planned for Glimmer to think this was all very cute but this was taking it too far. This was all Scorpia’s fault for buying them matching outfits to complete Catra’s stupid quasi-Jack Hetherington costume from hell. Oh god, what had she done? This was not mocking or jeering at all and Glimmer clearly hadn’t looked at her. Oh no.

“Ohhh, what a sweet boy! I love him! I wove you, yesh I do! Oh Catra this is-” Glimmer cut off and Catra could only feel more weirdly humiliated.

Because yes, Melog was wearing a yellow argyle patterned vest harness with a little bow tie in order to match Catra’s yellow argyle sweater vest and clip on bowtie. Why did she think this was a good idea again? This was stupid. She thought Glimmer would get a laugh out of it, not lose her fucking mind. Like, it was supposed to be an inside thought about how it was cute not an outside thought!

“Oh. My. God! Look at you! Look at you two!!!”

Catra shrugged roughly, “I mean, it’s whatever.”

“Aw,” and now there was the teasing tone she’d been expecting, damn it all, “don’t be like that, here, I’ll make it up to you!”

And with that Glimmer stood up and tugged at her vest and tie as she began to coo, “What a handsome boy! What a handsome young man in his smart little vest!”

Well, that certainly was an interesting tangle of emotions for her friends to suffer through her unpacking at a later date.

“We’re leaving. Don’t call me, I’ll call you. My lawyers will be in touch.” Catra all but fled to her house and once safely inside with a confused and meowing cat she slid down the door with a grin.

“She called me handsome,” She informed Melog, as if he had not been there to witness it, with a big goofy grin. Sure, she’d fled like the socially inept dumbass she was but still.

A few hours later Catra was lounging on the couch when her doorbell began going nuts and Melog immediately went to paw at the door, which was the sure fire cocktail to announce Glimmer as the person on the other side.

“You ever gonna knock like a normal…person…” Catra stared.

Glimmer smiled bashfully, wearing a cute charcoal gray skirt, a yellow argyle patterned sweater, and a wrap around fake bowtie. “Hey, I just wanted to apologize for earlier. I, uhm, didn’t mean to take it that far and make you uncomfortable. So. Yeah. AND, I thought, maybe I can join you and Melog on a walk? We can be the most fashion forward, fashion backwards, cat walkers?”

Oh wow, I love you. Was the only thought in her head as Catra began trying to process what was happening.

Oh shit.

Oh shit!

“Oh fuck you,” Catra stuttered as she tried to get her brain and mouth coordinated better than that, “SORRY!”

Glimmer at least seemed a little more put at ease, which really didn’t bode well for how Catra was treating her. “Wow, okay, just tell me you hate me.”

“Nope, no can do, sorry, can’t say that.” She at least finally had a sense in her head to step aside letting Glimmer in and therefore stopped Melog from clawing the back of her legs. She really needed to trim his claws, ow.

“Well why not? Seems rude if you ask me.” Glimmer smiled as Melog stretched as tall as he could on his back legs, his front paws almost brushing against her neck as she hunched a little to pet him.

Something quick, something witty, something pithy. “It’s the opposite problem really.”

They both froze as Catra considered every decision she’d made in her life that led to this moment. “Well this has been great, get out of my house.”

Glimmer threw her arms out wide, basically starfishing as if Catra was physically shoving her out the door. “Absolutely not! You don’t get to just drop something like that and then pretend you didn’t! You like me or you, like, like-like me?”

“Are we preteens, what the fuck Glitter.”

But Glimmer was only grinning wider now as she confidently strolled forward to get in Catra’s space. She tugged at the shoulder of her new sweater with a grin. “That’s not a denial! So, what I’m hearing is that this might be girlfriend material?”

“Fuck you, but this time I mean it.”

“That’s fair but doesn’t answer my question.”

Was she really going to do this while she was wearing a niche joke costume that Glimmer was emulating while Melog sharked around their ankles for attention?

“Do you want to go out with me some time? On a date?”

Yes, she absolutely was.

“I would love to.” Glimmer smiled softly at her before looking down at Melog. “Hey buddy. Thank you.”

“Are- are you thanking my cat because I asked you out!?”

“Well you’ve got to admit, without him jailbreaking you wouldn’t have done it.”

She opened her mouth to argue back, but it just flapped uselessly as she realized that just six months ago she’d been actively considering buying grasshoppers to release into Glimmer’s house just to be a jerk.

“In my defense, he is a very good judge of character and I’m an asshole.”

“I don’t think that would work as a defense in a court of law, but whatever you tell yourself to sleep at night.”

Melog chirped in agreement, and really, who was she to argue with that?