#Maybe I will once school is over who knows
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heyyy! can i request “i’m scared of losing you” (from angst1) with oscar piastri?
❝ i’m scared of losing you ❞ — oscar piastri
pairing | oscar piastri x reader
content warnings | lots of miscommunication, angst, comfort, happy ending
★ JOIN MY SHORT N SWEET FRIENDSGIVING !
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it had been a few months since you last attended a race due to your job obligations but in oscar’s eyes he only saw it as one thing; you’ve missed him winning a race, twice now.
in his eyes he thought you may no longer love him that he wasn’t worth enough for you. however, in your eyes you believed he no longer loved you especially due to his lack of presence in your life and never asking you to join him for a race weekend in months. both of you afraid to lose each other didn’t touch on the subject and living as if everything is okay.
until it wasn’t.
“i may not win another race this season but i would appreciate your support! you weren’t there for my two wins and i…i’m tired of this,” oscar argued back, you had both gone out to dinner in monaco after he returned from singapore. it started with a sweet conversation of what to do for the break to now bitter comments towards each other.
“tired of what? of me? i’m trying, oscar. i just started my third year of university and then work—.”
“work! it’s always work this work that. they always need you for something even though it’s not even in your title to do all that! you drop everything to be there for them but you can’t be there for me not even once…baby?” his mean words hit you immediately and you sit on the couch of your apartment hands covering your face as you sob uncontrollably.
“baby, yn…hey, hey breathe with me. it’s okay i’m here” oscar whispers on your ear, both arms cradling you now. was it okay? his approach may not have been the best but he wasn’t wrong. your job had been putting too much on your plate when you were meant to just be an underpaid intern who was doing multiple jobs that were not your responsibility.
“but you aren’t here, osc. i…i know that your career is demanding but you didn’t take a second to look back and realize i ease being left behind. i feel guilty i wasn’t there for your two wins especially your first. i begged my job to let me just visit you for a day to celebrate but they made me stay. it wasn’t even my day to work and i still stayed. i chose a job that doesn’t value me over you…you do care about me maybe not right now—.”
“i’m gonna stop you right there. i’m an idiot who didn’t bother asking how you’ve been recently and expecting you to support me more when i didn’t see what you’d been going through. i’m so sorry,” he whispers, his forehead pressed against yours kissing your tears away.
you whisper out five words you’d been feeling for awhile now, “i’m scared of losing you,” closing your eyes ready for oscar to say you’ve already lost him, “i’m scared too.” his voice matches your vulnerability.
opening your eyes looking at him in shock, “you are?” you felt like you were both taking a big step in admitting this. maybe, just maybe this would help in repairing your relationship.
“i am. i think we’ve been selfish towards each other but we also haven’t communicated right. i should have asked you more about how the job was treating you-,”
“i should have asked you how the team had been treating you.” you counter back and he chuckles.
“i know you want to be independent when it comes to your career. but i think you should quit that job and focus on school only. i know you don’t want me to take care of you financially but just let me do that for now until you graduate and find a job that will value the skills you have. i can’t lose us. i can’t lose you, yn. i love you.” his words filled with nothing but love, oscar meant well and for once you decide to take him up on the offer he’d been giving you since you started dating two years ago.
“okay.” a simple word replacing your frown into a smile on each others faces. there was work to do on your communication with each other but for now you both got to breathe a sigh of relief after facing a fear that would no longer happen.
#★ short n sweet friendsgiving event#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri drabble#oscar piastri blurb#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri
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i am so tired and burnt out rn so mqf here we go
he's a doctor he can (probably) relate to stem student burnout he can handle it
anyway mqf being exhausted after dealing with a) bai zhan peak disciples who have somehow managed to get all of them injured severely but not the crippling kind, just the ones that need either mqf's expertise or a senior healer, b) beast taming peak disciples who thought it was a good idea to pet a beast that it widely known to eat people who come too close, c) liu qingge, d) shen qingqiu, e) yue qingyan, and he does not get paid enough for this
idk sometimes people think the most bizarre things when they're very tired and so, mqf, after realizing that doctor-patient confidentiality does not equate to passively dealing with recurring patients, decides that Change Is Necessary
the next time lqg drops off disciples after "training", mqf heals them and yells at lqg with all the anger and exhaustion of a med school student. which is, yeah, you don't want to know
sqq overheard it and is very pleased. bonus points, bai zhan avoids harassing qing jing ever since mqf passive aggressively tells them that if they hurt disciples from another peak unprovoked, he's going to ban them from receiving medical treatment (it's an empty threat. but it works)
the next time sqq gets a qi deviation, mqf sits him down and tells him that if he doesn't get his shit together he will have to call an Intervention. of course, this does not go very well with sqq, so mqf calls an Intervention. sqh is suspiciously on board with this. he has all the materials needed. mqf wonders, then decides that sqh must be planning a long time before mqf lost his shit
a truth pollen or serum or whatever later, yqy and sqq are decidedly Not Pleased with them but mqf has one less problem (sqq's qi deviations) and that is Worth It. also he better be a vip guest in qijiu's wedding because he has gone through so much shit because of them
anyway he and sqh are bonding over everything and mqf has realized that sqh is, maybe, being courted by an ice demon king. mqf debates the ethics of sqh's maybe traitor-y ways then decides that sqh is too good of a gossip buddy to lose. mqf makes him realize that he's being courted. sqh faints. mqf tells him that he knows it's a pretend faint— he's witnessed and healed thousands of patients who fainted. who is sqh trying to fool here?
mqf also demands a vip invitation to moshang's wedding. anyway, his patients are the lowest in number since he became a peak lord, his sect leader is happy and willing to give qian cao more funds, he has a best friend in the form of a demon king's spouse (he can get demonic plants and beast parts for medicinal treatments!), and he is now Less Stressed. everything is fine. absolutely everything is fine.
sy transmigrates into a qian cao disciple npc and mqf sighs once he realizes he has Another Problem.
#svsss#mu qingfang#shang qinghua#shen jiu#yue qingyuan#liu qingge#moshang#qijiu#mqf should find out that lbh is a heavenly demon#sy panics and uses the best attack he has as a Younger Sibling: tears#mqf should be immune to this. he is not.#he fixes pidw and svsss he deserves a nobel prize
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opposites attract, or so they say
simon x gn!reader, 1.9k words summary: simon's got a crush on the sweet little thing down the street. a/n: I love him. I love kyle gallner. send help. tw: lots of cussing but it's mostly because I went with simon's pov and ran with it, simon is buzzed, brief mention of sexual content but like nothing other than the idea
Simon was a lot of things.
Angry. Vile. Crude. A badass punk rocker.
But there was something more to him than just that. There was something deep within him that screamed for release, that just wanted to be a part of his world just as much as the rest of him.
And that, which it's far more simple than you might think, was the need to be loved.
His family was shit. That was a given. Never once looked at him like they were proud of him, which for what it was worth, he couldn't give a shit.
His bandmates were fucking righteous, but what the fuck's that got to do with anything? Love from a bandmate? Right. Weird as fuck. This wasn't one of those half-assed teen romcoms where the drummer fell in love with the lead singer. He'd rather vomit in front of an entire set than have his drummer fall in "love" with him.
And then, there was you. That bitch down the block that made him question anything and everything. Just looking at you made him feel things that he wasn't used to, and it infuriated him.
Sure, maybe he wanted to be loved, but by you? Sweet, little Y/n who'd never had a bad thought in your life? For fucks sake, it was as if the universe was laughing at him!
The universe was always laughing at him.
But who cares? He was in a punk ass band, he always stuck it to the Man, and when it mattered most, his bandmates showed up when others didn't.
But you were always on his mind.
Shit.
He was down bad for you. There was no way around it.
Standing outside your doorstep, half-smoked cigarette hanging from his lips, he knocked rather loudly. If you didn't answer, he'd just leave. God, he hoped you didn't answer. The cherry wine coolers he'd had just moments before weren't doing much to settle his nerves.
Why the fuck was he even nervous?
It wasn't like it was the first time he'd been around you. Hell, he'd smoked a cigarette or three on your doorstep, complaining about anything and everything as you drank a soda, a coffee, or one of those cheap wine coolers he brought you.
It wasn't like he didn't know you.
There's a pause as he sucks in a deep breath of smoke, and the door opens to reveal you. In your pajamas like a good little samaritan, ready for bed at 10 in the evening.
Simon silently scolded himself. Of course you were ready for bed. A goody-two-shoes who most definitely wasn't waiting up for some kind of divine inspiration for a new song. Who wasn't waiting up for some kind of alcohol to finally kick in.
You blinked slowly at him. You knew him—not as well as you would like to, but you knew him. You had a history class together back in high school, and while you weren't that teenager from way back when, you still remember the inkling of a crush you had on him. You knew him way better then than you did, now.
Ethics be damned, am I right?
"Simon?"
Your voice was so soft, so sweet. He just wanted to turn around and walk away, to avoid you so he wouldn't taint you like he wanted to.
Dammit.
"Hey, Y/n," he said, dropping his cigarette and crushing it beneath his boots. "You, uh, got a minute?"
You blinked slowly but gave a small nod, stepping out onto the porch. You closed the door behind you to keep the cool air from going in. Your arms crossed over your chest and you watched Simon closely before he spoke. It wasn't the first time you had done this.
You stood barefoot in front of him, the cold concrete a not-so-welcome addition to the conversation.
"Look," he began. "I, uh, just wanted to—well, fuck, I don't know what I wanted to—"
He was a blabbering mess. What the fuck was this? He was confident, but around you, it was as if every little bit of his brazenness melted away.
"You, me, bar tomorrow night, yeah?" he blurted.
Simple. To the point. Far less embarrassing than what happened just moments prior.
Your eyes widened, and he can see the gears turning in your pretty mind. But you didn't seem adverse.
You smiled a bit. "What bar?"
He blinked slowly. "What bar? The fuck—uh," he looked over his shoulder, clearing his throat. "Sure. Why the fuck not? Bar on Main Street."
"Will I meet you there?"
He scrunched his nose. "Yeah. Meet me there."
"Cool. What time?"
He blinked slowly. "Time? Fucks sake, Y/n, you ask a hell of a lot of questions," he said, snorting softly. "Let's, uh, say nine? Or is that too late for you?" He eyed your warm pajamas.
"I'll be there," you said.
He perked up a bit before he looked you up and down one more time. "Fucking right," he said. "Be there." He took a step back, nearly faltering on the first step of your porch, but then he turned away and without another word, left you behind.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He wasn't stupid. He was smart in his own ways, sure, but what the actual fuck was that?
Girls threw themselves at his feet, especially when he was John Q. Guys did too, in their own ways—hell, he had one guy one time tell him he'd give him a blowjob if he looked at him for longer than five seconds.
He almost took him up on the offer. But that was nearly a year ago, and the way you looked at him tonight made his heart melt in the confines of his beaten chest.
Dammit all, what the fuck was he doing?
Love. What the hell would love give him that he couldn't get from some random fucker down the street?
What in the ever-loving hell was he doing?
Nine o'clock on the dot, he was there at the bar on Main.
Down bad. He knew it, too. Even canceled his band practice just to come and see you. His drummer had nearly cussed him out, but Simon didn't give a shit.
He went straight to the bar and ordered a beer, downing half of it in the first few seconds of having it.
When he felt a hand on his arm, he nearly jumped out of his skin. He looked down, seeing you standing there. You actually came. You weren't pulling his dick, you actually showed up.
His heart pounded nervously in his chest. Shit. When was the last time he was actually this nervous?
"Y/n," he said.
You smiled up at him. Did anyone ever tell you how pretty your smile was?
What. The. Fuck.
"You said nine, right?" you asked. "I'm avoiding my pajamas just for you."
Just for him. Fuuuck.
You were cute.
He shoots a cheeky grin, leaning against the bar counter. He could be suave. He could be confident and not seem as needy as he felt. The pyro was more than capable.
But for some reason, he didn't feel like lying to you. He didn't feel like joking around, or trying to show you something that simply wasn't true.
He'd loved you since that stupid class back in high school—the one with Mr. Fuck-face and that terrible toupee. You had been so nice to him, while everyone else had treated him like a parasite. Not that he blamed them. He knew what he was.
He cleared his throat and looked around the bar. Maybe it hadn't been the best place to ask you to, but the alcohol definitely would help at some point.
"Yeah. I said nine," he said.
You ordered a drink. He doesn't listen to what you say to the bartender. He's staring you down, eyeing you like a fine choice of meat. Fuck, you were, though. Every inch of you was like heaven to him.
Maybe it wasn't love he wanted. Maybe it was just lust that kept him in a chokehold.
Besides, he hardly knew you. Knew you briefly in high school, but the fuck's that matter? How long has it been since the two of you graduated?
Long enough.
Long enough for everything to change, except for him, apparently.
"How've you been?"
Your voice drew him out of his thoughts. He looked at you, blinking slowly, before he shrugged.
"Busy," he said.
"You still playing?"
He blinked slowly. "Huh?"
"In high school. You had a band. You still playing?"
You remembered that? Shit.
"Yeah," he said. "I'm still playing. We play a couple gigs here and there."
Your eyes widened. "Really? Where do you play?"
"Wherever we can get a spot. You, uh, should totally come out to hear it some time."
You smiled immediately. "I would love to," you said.
He stared you down. Either you were lying or you were one of the fuckers who he knew he'd never get enough of. It's looking like it would be the latter.
He looked away from you, taking a swig of his beer.
"You think that—"
He interrupted you, slamming his beer onto the counter. "Look," he said rather quickly. "I don't know what it is, but I need you to take me seriously for a second."
You blinked slowly. "Yeah. What's up?"
He clenched his jaw as he looked at you. He wasn't angry with you—nah, he was angry with himself. Not talking to you sooner, not kissing your pretty mouth, not—
"I think you're fucking tits," he said, taking hold of you by your shoulders. "I'm not about to sit here and tell you I love you, because I don't, but for fuck's sake, I want you more than I've wanted anything in my entire life."
Okay. Lie number one. Starting off strong. But how could you love someone if you didn't truly know who they were? Guess it wasn't really a lie. It just... was a half truth, if that.
Your eyes are wide as you stared up at him. "What?"
"I want—" he began, letting out a labored breath. "I want you. Okay? There. Fuck. I said it."
"You... you want me? How?"
He snorted softly at your question. "I want you in every fuckin' way imaginable, Y/n."
He said nothing more, leaving it up for your interpretation, but clearly, by the way he was looking at you, it was obvious.
"Simon—"
"Nah, don't," he said. "If you're gonna protest, I don't want to hear it."
"I'm not gonna protest—"
"—I've had enough people tell me they don't want me, and it pisses me off."
"But I—"
"—I'm serious, Y/n."
"Simon. I'm not protesting," you said defensively. "I—I feel the same way."
He blinked slowly at you, like he didn't just hear you correctly.
"What?" he asked.
"I like you," you said. "Have for a while now."
"You..."
"Yeah. I do," you said.
"Well shit," he breathed out, looking down at you. "Well that was easier than I thought it would be."
He pulled on a cheeky grin, and those pretty eyes of his bored into yours.
"You should kiss me," you said, smiling up at him.
"The fuck?" he let out a curt laugh, but he took you up on the offer. A hand moved to the back of your neck, and his lips pressed to yours almost instantaneously.
Fuuck, he'd wanted to do this shit for ages. Why the hell didn't he ask you sooner?
#simon x reader#simon dia#dinner in america#dinner in america x reader#John q#John q x reader#kyle gallner#Kyle gallner x reader#simon dia x reader#dinner in america simon x reader#dinner in america fanfic#reader insert#x reader#gender neutral reader#x gn! reader#simon John q x reader
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Chapter I
Pairing(s): Melissa Schemmenti x Fem!Reader
Series: Schemmenti Family Agenda
Synopsis: After a student makes a comment to Y/n, Melissa takes into consideration what the next steps in your relationship should be.
Themes/Warnings: Fluff, Angst (please let me know if there are any warnings to be aware of)
A/N: I first wrote this part in an early morning surge of energy. I've already started on part two, so be on the lookout for that. I've also started an outline for an Agatha Harkness/Agnes x Fem!Reader w/ "magic baby" trope.
WC: ~ 2.15k
Having kids wasn’t something you thought to ever be on the agenda. It never was with you and Melissa. Both you and her being elementary teachers for Abbott, the only kids you two ever talked about “having” were your students. It has been a nice flow between you professionally. You being the other first grade teacher in the school, a good amount of kids in your class progress to your wife’s classroom in their following school year. These handful of kids are called by the other teachers as the “Double Schemmenti” kids, which you and Melissa find endearing.
These little aspects of your life at Abbott make being a teacher for these kids the best job anyone could ask for. Not to mention having the role of being these kids’ mentor, even sometimes their parent, is a gift in itself. So, whenever babies were a thought, it was more of a subtle whisper, rather than a thought-provoking idea.
That is until Melissa walks into your classroom after school one day to find you with one of your students playing with the deck of cards she so graciously lent for the room.
“Hey, honey,” she smiles, making her way inside.
“Mrs. Schemmenti!” Aspen squeals. “Mrs. Schemmenti is teaching me how to play Kings in the Corner. It helps with my counting.”
“That’s great, sweetheart.” The redhead looks over at his hand and smiles. “Maybe next year you’ll be able to get a good grasp on poker so that you can beat all the chumps at the table.”
Aspen gives her a quizzical look. You, a furrow of the eyebrows, telling her to test the waters. She mouths a ‘sorry’ along with a low smile. Bringing her attention to your cards, she chuckles. “I don’t know, Mrs. Schemmenti. I think the kid’s hand is just enough to rattle you outta luck.”
Aspen’s smile turns to a little dance in place, in anticipation for his next move.
You bring yourself to feign a sigh. “I think you might be right. I just can’t believe Aspen is so good already, and it’s his first time playing.”
Melissa shuffles back next to Aspen, who glances at her before she nods. “Take her down, kid.”
He rushes for a card before calculating his line of moves to play. With what seems to be one swift motion, his cards disappear from his hand and onto the floor with the others. “I got ya, Mrs. Schemmenti! Victory is mine!”
You giggle along with him. “You got me!” You and Melissa dance with him, doing your own little dances in place. Once he’s seemed to settle down from his victory dance, you help him pick up the cards.
“Why don’t you practice your shuffling while I talk with Mrs. Schemmenti?”
He nods. “Okay. I’ll go sit at my desk.”
“Okay.”
“He’s a quick little guy, isn’t he?”
“Yeah, he is. Smartest kid in the class. Maybe the smartest I’ve ever taught.” You peek at him, seeing if he’s focused on the cards in his hand, which he is. “His mom is working a little late today. The divorce hasn’t been easy for either of them, so I told her that I can stay with Aspen a little later than the allotted time for pickup.”
Melissa sighs. “Don’t I know it. Divorce is tough. I can’t imagine the added stress of having a child during the process.”
You quickly take a look at your watch. “You don’t have to wait up for me. Janine and Ava have step practice today, and I’m sure I can catch a ride with one of them if you want to go home. I know you have grading to get done.”
“I can wait here with you and the little guy. Grading can wait a little longer, and besides, I don’t want you catching a ride with either of ‘em as long as I’m here. I couldn’t live with myself if I knew I’d been responsible for another Janine car ride migraine.” Her lips perk up into a smile.
"I swear if I hear another lecture on the benefits of different colored highlighters, I’ll–"
“Mom!” Aspen squeals, getting out of his seat and running to his mother’s arms. She lays a soft kiss on his head.
“Hi, Aspen. How was school?” Dina’s eyes turn from his to yours. “Was he okay?”
You nod. “The little champ beat me in Kings in the Corner.”
“And I know how to shuffle now. So now I can help you when we play Uno.”
“Great job, honey. And I’m sure now you can help me beat Grandpa when he comes to visit next week.”
Aspen seemingly lights up brighter than before. “Grandpa’s coming? Yay!” He envelops her in a hug.
“Honey, why don’t you grab your things so I can talk to your mom?” Your eyes quickly glance at his belongings that sit on and around his desk.
“I’ll give you two a minute.” Melissa moves towards Aspen. “I’ll help him get his things.”
“Thank you for everything. Really, you’re a lifesaver.” Dina lets a sigh leave her lips. “He’s really been doing great through this whole thing.”
“No disruptions, no problems. I wish I had his positive attitude all the time. And hey, don’t worry about it. I don’t mind getting beat at cards. He’s a smart kid.”
Dina smiles.
“I’m ready,” Aspen says. He walks up to meet his mother’s side, where she places a hand on his shoulder. “Mrs. Schemmenti?”
“Yes sweetheart?”
“You’re gonna make a great mom one day,” his smile widens before he says his goodbyes to you and Melissa. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay, kid. We’ll see ya,” Melissa adds. She turns to you. “Ready to go?”
“Mhm,” you grab your bag’s handle, but it’s quickly taken away from you when the older woman grabs it. “Melissa, I can carry my stuff.”
“I never said you couldn’t.” She smiles as you grab hold of her arm.
Walking out of Abbott, you both send smiles and your own goodbyes to a few colleagues. Your hand never strays from her arm, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.
“So what are you feeling like for dinner?” She asks.
“Are you asking because you feel like cooking, or are you asking me because you want to just order takeout?”
She chuckles. “I was actually asking because I could go for anything you wanted to cook.”
“Enchiladas, then.”
“Well, they’re your signature.” She places a kiss on your temple.
When you reach the car, she walks with you to the passenger’s side, opening the door for you. “My lady,” she smiles watching you take your seat. She hands you your bag, and closes the door.
You reach over to the door and pull the door handle for her. “Thank you, sweetie.”
“Anything for my girl,” you say. Her hand instinctively rests on your thigh as she starts the drive to your shared home. You move a hand to graze her arm.
“So,” Melissa starts up a new conversation when you hit upon a red light. “Aspen gave you a really nice compliment there, huh?”
“What?” You take a moment to think back. “Oh… yeah, he’s a really sweet kid. I hope you get to teach him next year. I mean he already loves you.”
Melissa turns the music up a bit, as your favorite song plays. While you’re jamming, she hums along, singing the words in her head. Unbeknownst to you, Melissa is thinking harder than she’d care to admit to about Aspen’s words. Had you given any thought to having a child of your own? She hasn’t expressed any interest in having a mini Melissa since she was younger, when her sister had her first baby.
As if the memory played out word for word, she remembers how crushed she was when, while holding her then baby nephew, Joe completely shut down the idea of growing their family.
As if you know she needs a distraction of sorts, you speak up, taking her out of her thoughts. “Oh, honey, I think we need to stop at the grocery store. Is that okay with you?”
She nods and forces a smile for you.
– – – –
Melissa’s hand never leaves the small of your back while you push the cart. Along the journey of getting the ingredients necessary for your dinner, she looks around every aisle that you walk through. Almost finished with the aisle you two are currently in, you start your way towards the registers. As you wait in one of the lines, Melissa picks up bits of the couple’s conversation happening in front of her, talking about their excitement in welcoming their own bundle of joy in seven months.
“Melissa?”
“Hm,” she turns her attention towards you.
“Is everything okay? You’ve been almost quiet since we left school. The only times I ever experience quiet Melissa is when you’re scheming. Well, that or you’re planning someone’s meeting with justice.”
“I’m fine, hon.” She places her hands on either side of your waist, and places a few light kisses on your temple. “I’m perfect.”
– – – –
“Amore,” she starts.
“Hm,” you hum, sipping your wine.
“Nothin’.”
“Baby,” you reach your hand and place it gently on her own. “What’s up?”
She has a glint in her eyes. One you’ve only seen two other times – when she was too nervous to ask you to be her girlfriend, and then again when she asked you to be her wife. By this, you know she has got something big on her mind.
“Don’t worry about it,” she says, her voice not leaving a low tone. She focuses her attention on her plate, trying to collect her thoughts.
“Okay…” you start. “But I will. You have the look.”
“What look?” Her eyes bounce to you, now wide, awaiting your response.
“You’ve only ever looked at me twice like that before, and both times they were because you had something big to get off your chest. Now please…” You place your hand on her thigh. “What is it, Melissa?”
“You ever thought about maybe… I don’t know… it’s just us here. And sometimes I feel it. The… space.”
You stay silent, trying to piece together what she’s going on about. Was she getting sick of you? Was this marriage too much for her? She doesn’t skip a beat though. Her rambling is starting to sound like she is convincing herself of something, in hopes you’ll say what’s bothering her, so she doesn’t have to. That’s when in the midst of your spacing out, there is only one sentence that makes you freeze.
“Maybe an addition to us wouldn’t be a bad idea.”
“You want to have a baby,” she can’t tell by your tone if you were stating it as if it were a fact, or rather forming it in a question. “Like… a baby.”
“No, wait, I didn’t say that,” her voice rises in pitch. “Per say.”
You wait a minute, in case she has more to say. “Okay…”
Crap! May day! May day! Retreat! Her thoughts tell her.
She downs the beer that is left in her bottle. Her hands grab for your plates and starts her way to the kitchen. “Just forget I said anything.”
“But, Melissa–”
“Please, just forget it, Y/n.”
– – – –
After dinner, you and Melissa snuggle up on the couch. Your face is nestled in her neck, giving soft kisses where you know she loves them. This would usually lead to you ravaging each other until the sunrise spills through your curtains. Tonight, however, doesn’t look like that is in the cards for you.
Your hand begins drawing patterns on her thigh, as you continue your kisses on her skin. “Your thoughts are loud tonight, my love.”
“Hon,” Melissa whispers, her voice almost impossible to hear over the television. As if on cue, the Dancing With the Stars theme sings for you. “Look, the show is starting.”
The rest of the night is much quieter than usual. Adding to your worry, Melissa doesn’t seem as enthusiastic about the episode as she usually is. There’s no yelling at the television, rarely a chuckle, and not even a snack to go with the episode.
As the episode ends, Melissa breathes a heavy sigh. “Ready for bed?”
You take a look at your phone which reads the time. “Yeah,” you say with simple directions. “Just… give me a minute and I’ll be up.”
She nods as she rises off the couch. She makes sure to place a gentle kiss on your cheek before heading upstairs.
At the sound of Melissa ascending the stairs, you quickly grab your phone. Opening your Contacts app, Barbara Howard’s phone number is already in view for you. With a second to think on a decision, a sigh leaves your lips, and the clicking of the power button shuts the device off.
Sleep on it. Whatever it is.
#fanfiction#imagines#abbott elementary#fem reader#lisa ann walter#melissa schemmenti#melissa schemmenti x reader#melissa schemmenti x you#abbott elementary fanfic#melissa schemmenti x female reader
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Invisible String - Part 6
・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *
Pairing(s): Eris x reader
Warning(s): Please be advised; this part might not be suitable for all audiences. Proceed with caution.
Summary: You'd taken the nanny position for the royal family over a year ago, not expecting what would come of it or how close you'd grow to the child you cared for. Things became tough for Eris when his wife left him and his daughter, and he found it increasingly harder to raise Riley himself. He soon realizes, you've provided a lot more than the typical job description duties for his daughter... and maybe for him, too.
SR’s Note: My apologies, this took forever for me to finish writing for you all (I've had so much on my plate lately). I hope you’re ready — all we have left is the finale! I added in the advisory so that younger / uncomfortable readers won't read the series without knowing or expecting potential risks in content to come. For those who enjoy or look forward to content as such -- I hope you are excited! Nonetheless, I hope readers will enjoy this series that came to me in a dream one night. (; Much love to all.
Tags: @mellowmusings @talesofadragon @rcarbo1 @mandziaaa @lilah-asteria @a-frog-with-a-laptop @kitsunetori @dannul @velarisdusk @lamarmotta @paintedbyshadows @i-know-i-can @adventure-awaits13 @acourtofbatboydreams (inbox me or comment if you'd like to be added!)
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"My bow tied?"
You sigh as you adjust the golden ribbon tied in the little girl's hair, her wide eyes looking to you for assurance. Though it's about the fifth time she's asked you to confirm, you answer her once more.
"Yes, dear," you say, smoothing down the front of her corduroy dress with reassurance. "I promise I tied it into your ponytail really good."
She nods, her little body buzzing with anticipation and excitement. You take her hand, leading her toward the front door of the Forest House where her father waits.
"Ready for your first day?" He asks, smiling prodly at his daughter though you can practically feel the way his heart hurts inside.
"I am, daddy!" She bounds over to him, clutching the strap of her pink backpack with a fluffy bunny printed on the front. When Eris arrived home with it last week, she could've practically exploded from sheer excitement.
He helps her slip it over her little shoulders, bending down and kissing the top of her head as he gazes at her. Your heart swells -- you knew, this wasn't just a big day for Riley, but for him too.
"We should walk outside -- the carriage service will be here soon, you won't want to miss it." He winks, and Riley giggles as she jumps up and down.
"Daddy -- Y/N coming too?" She asks as he takes her hand in his. He glances to you, and your eyes widen.
"Oh, no, honey, I think your father should bring you to your first day of school," you explain hastily. She huffs, trotting over to you and wrapping her small fingers around your palm.
"Pleeeeeeease, you come too?" She asks. Eris only shrugs, and you glance down into those big, pleading eyes once more.
"Alright, then," you hesitate, and she continues her celebration as though this was her birthday. Eris glances out the window, turning to face the two of you again before speaking.
"The carriage is just down the way; ready to go, Riles?" She nods, looking back to make sure you're following.
"I'll be just behind you," you say, jogging to the kitchen as they make their way through the front door. Spotting the mason jar in the middle of the table, you reach for it, and then hurry to catch up with the two out front.
:* ✧・゚:
The rest of the day goes on per usual, though the house is errily quiet with Riley's absence.
Eris left for the Palace soon after Riley got on the carriage, which left you in the Forrest House... alone. All day.
You were cleaning for what felt like the 25th hour of the day when the clock struck 3 pm, and you quickly hurried outside. She would be home any minute, and you were dying to know how her first day of public school went.
Sure enough, the gleaming ivory of the carriage made it's debut over the hill; stopping just at the end of the drive. The doors were barely open before Riley burst out, running as fast as she could to you up the drive.
"Chris-anthem!"
You kneeled, stretching your arms wide as she lept into them full-force. She held onto you tightly, the only adieu to the carriage coach a small wave before he set off once more. When she finally let go, you asked her.
"How was your first-"
"A Chris-anthem!" She squealed again, this time thrusting her clenched fist toward you to look. In her palm, she held the stem of a rather wilty, dying orange bloom.
"Ohhh, your flower," you realized. "You asked what it was, hm?" She nodded happily.
"Yes! And Miss Peachum says its a Chris-anthem!" You chuckle, realizing the plant is indeed a Chrysanthemum.
"Ahh, I see," You say, half-distracted by the approaching male on horseback trotting toward the stables. His hair is radiant in the light of the setting sun, his shoulders set as he comes more into view.
"We should go inside -- I think your daddy is almost home, and I'm sure he'd love to hear about your first day at school."
:* ✧・゚:
The routine becomes a little more established over the next couple of weeks as all of you adapt to the new schedule. On days Eris goes in later, he gets up with his daughter and gets her onto the carriage; on his early days, you do it. It's a nice routine, one that is almost perfect.
Almost.
You still longed for the feeling of his sheets, his warm embrace as he'd hold you through the night. How good it felt, even for just a short time, to feel so comfortable, as though your longing had been satiated -- now, it felt like those days were as good as gone.
"Oh, Y/N?" His voice was quiet in the silent hall of the house, Riley put into bed after another long day. You were jsut about to retire to your chambers when he spoke, his steps quick to catch you before you went to bed.
"Hm?" You turned, facing him in the dim evening light. He stepped close enough so you oculd make out his features, every freckle on his nose and the exact curve of his jaw -- but not too close to touch.
"I, uh, I just had something I wanted to ask you about," he fumbles, and you lean against the doorway as his eyes finally find yours.
"Anything," you say reassuringly, hating how uncharacteristically nervous he's being. He swallows, his lips parting in thought before he speaks again.
"The uh, the annual court ball is happening in three days," he says, his brows knitting. "And, uhm." He coughs to clear his throat, and you raise an eyebrow.
"Yessss?"
"Well, it's in the evening, um. I have to go, I mean. I have to attend." He says, biting the inside of his cheek. You nod in realization, your heart sinking just a bit.
"Right, right, I figured as much. I, uh. I don't have any plans, I mean, I'll be here, for Riley that night-"
He frowns, taking a step closer and looking straight down into your eyes.
"No," he says sharply, his features relaxing when your eyes widen. "I, um. She has, someone else to watch her that evening." He nods once, and you look up at him quizzically.
"Okay...?"
"Would you join me?" The words come out so fast you almost don't register them. "I mean, to the ball. Would you..." his fingers lightly take yours, his thumb tracing a small circle on the back of your hand.
"You. Want me. To go with you?"
He chuckles, his hand holding yours with ease. If only he knew the tidal wave rushing through your veins at this very moment-
"I do," he assures, bringing the back of your hand to his mouth to press a small kiss to it. "I'd be honored, if you would join me."
:* ✧・゚:
Three days was not near long enough to get yourself in check.
By that, you were feeling so nervous -- no matter how many times you'd redone your makeup, or re-tied the laces on your gown -- you still stared at yourself in the mirror, barely believing the events that were to unfold tonight.
A soft knock on your door pulls you from your daze, the wood creaking as it slowly opens.
"Oh... wow," Eris sucks in a breath, coming to stand behind you as he gazes at you through the mirror. You continue to pick and fiddle with your gown, only halting when his hands rest on your waist.
"Y/N, you're beautiful," he muses, and you can't help but blush. Gazing at him through the reflection, you agree -- you were beautiful, the maroon fabric hugged you nicely and complimented the accents of his jacket to a tee.
"Thank you," you whisper, and he turns you to face him. A small smile creeps onto his lips as he takes you in before him. You can't help but grin back, as the man oogling you is quite handsome himself.
"Are you ready?" He asks, and you take a deep breath, glancing at yourself once more over your shoulder.
"I am," you hesitate. "I just... I hope your parents won't think less of you for bringing me tonight."
Eris huffs a laugh, his eyes meeting yours in the glass.
"Darling, I don't give a damn what my parents think. Especially my father."
You chew on your lip, his words not resonating with you like he hoped they would.
"I just... I'm not like you, I'm not... a High Fae," you sigh. "I'm nothing like Selene-"
"Good." His fingers prod at your chin, turning your head to face him directly once more.
"I'm glad you're nothing like her, Y/N." Your heart melts, his words finally hitting home.
"You're everything and more, love," you swear his lips are inching toward yours with every word he speaks.
"She could only wish to be half the woman you are."
:* ✧・゚:
Living in the Autumn Court your entire life, you could've never imagined the royal balls were anything like this. Not even close.
Your gaze shifted from person to person, taking in everything from their elaborate attire to their pointed ears. Weaving through the crowd of people and lingering stares, the insecurity from earlier resurfaced as you glanced down at your rather plain dress.
"Eris," you hissed. He turned, leaning in close to speak with you. "Why didn't you tell me to get something more..." You struggled to find the word. "Ball-appropriate?"
His grin sent a shiver down your spine before his warm breath against your ear could.
"I think you look absolutely divine, Y/N."
Your cheeks heat again as he reaches for your hand, giving it a small squeeze before opening his mouth again.
"I need to make an appearance at the dais," he explains. "Will you be alright-"
"Yes. I'll wait here." You nod, not exactly as confident as you'd hoped in meeting his parents so soon. He kisses your cheek quickly, the brush of his lips a momentary relief against your flushed face before he makes way for the dais. His father tracks his movements, every step watched by those beady eyes.
You'd known the High Lord was, well... cruel, to put it plainly. He was unfair, and demanding, and took advantage of the power he held -- which is exactly why your stomach begins to turn as his focus lands right. On. You.
"Thank you all, for coming tonight." He bellows, standing to speak to the crowd in the throne room. Every head turns to face him, every eye focused on him as he scans the room. Eris stands confidently next to his father, with the Lady of Autumn politely standing on his other side.
He continues his short announcement, the music resuming as he finishes and demands it be so. As people begin moving and partnering off, your worry returns. Where was Eris? No longer beside his father, you look around you, not spotting that firey red head of hair anywhere among the crowd.
That is, until two large hands snake around your waist from behind, his familiar chuckle causing your breath to hitch.
"Share a dance with me?"
:* ✧・゚:
Your hands tremble as Eris slowly guides you to the middle of the room, all the faelights dimming on the walls. People sidestep around you, moving out of your way as though Eris is parting the sea itself.
The soft melody from the string quartet begins, a song you'd surely heard before. None of it calmed your nerves, especially as you peered toward the dais. Sure enough; both of his parents were watching the two of you.
"Hey, don't get nervous on me now." Eris offers a small smile, and you gulp down your nerves. He places your left hand on his shoulder, taking the other one in his own. His free hand snakes around your waist, splaying flat on your back as he draws you closer to him.
"Just, follow me." He steps to the side, beginning to move in time with the song. You follow, trying to calm the shakiness of your hand in his while he presses you against him.
A few counts in, you relax a little. Sure, you weren't High Fae, or maybe someone his father would choose for him -- but Eris chose you. You're the one here with him tonight, dancing in front of his family and his court as though you came as a package deal.
When you look up at him, you blush realizing he had already been focused on you. He chuckles, his fingers tracing up and down on the small of your back as he twirls the two of you around the dancing floor.
"I'm really glad you came tonight," he says lowly, his amber-flecked gaze intense as you can't help but stare back.
"Me too," you say. "I've never attended anything like this before."
He raises an eyebrow, an amused look on his face.
"Well, you're quite the talented dancer for never being brought to a ball before," he releases your waist, spinning you in a slow circle and then pulling you back to him once more. You grin, a small laugh escaping your lips as the two of you are held close once more.
"I shouldn't be surprised, as you've grown up going to these things," you say, your gaze landing on his lips. "But, you're quite impressive as well."
Those lips tilt upward as the song comes to an end, the two of you simply gazing at the other. You don't notice the clearing made for the two of you, how every other fae had allowed the two of you into the spotlight of the room. You'd simply been too caught up in the moment with the handsome man before you-
Eris sighs, and you watch as his gaze zeroes in on the dais once more. Turning, you peek as well -- the High Lord is beckoning his son at once.
"I can wait for you-"
"He wants us both." Eris shakes his head, the muscles in his arms tightening as he slowly lets go of you.
"Oh," is all you can think to say. He takes your hand, once again making way to his father's throne. This time, he leads you with him.
"Father." Is all he says when the two of you approach, and you watch as the High Lord so much as flicks his gaze to you before offerring his son an unamused look. Eris bends at the waist, and you follow suit, curtsying low as you offer your respect.
"Eris," his father echoes, his hands folding across his chest. "How uncourtly of you to not introduce your mother and I to your... guest, this evening." You look to the Lady of Autumn, offering a small bow of your head. She smiles at you softly -- the most reaction you'd seen from her all night.
"My apologies." Eris says, and you can practically hear the sarcastic remarks he was making in his mind. He turns to you, a smile sppearing on his face when you meet his gaze.
"This is Y/N, you've heard me mention her before," he explains. "She is the woman who helps so much with... with Riley," he hesitates. You'd known his parents were not involved much in his personal life, mainly because of his father and how he has treated his own son. You couldn't say you blamed him.
"Y/N," Beron repeats, his beady gaze focusing on you. He reaches to take your hand in his, kissing the back of it in polite greeting. You force a smile, but can feel Eris' jaw tightening from where he stood beside you. "How nice to finally meet you."
His words are dripping with venom, but you respond with class nonetheless. "Likewise, High Lord."
He releases your hand, resting his own on the armrests of his throne. He looks to Eris again, his gaze wavering between the two of you.
"So nice to see my son bring a woman to one of these kinds of events again -- he'd been alone in attendance, of course, since he let that Day Court whore slip through his fingers." Your eyes widen at his careless use of the derogatory language, but he simply chuckles. Eris' fingers find yours, sliding through them and squeezing gently. His father doesn't miss the action, and is quite unpleased by it.
"Even if it means bringing the help with him." He sneers a horrible smile, and you feel your face flush at the comment. Your throat tightens, making swallowing painful as you try and surpress the forming emotions threatening to spill out.
"Father, please-"
"Now now, son. It's been a few years since Selene fled, whether it be your --" he pauses in throught. "...annoying, nature, or maybe she simply didn't enjoy your company." Eris sucks in a breath, releasing it slowly as though he's practiced this a million times.
Nonetheless, Beron continues. "Reguardless, I think it's time you remarry -- don't you?" Your eyes widen, your gaze dropping to the floor. Remarry? Surely Eris wouldn't agree to that.
"Father, I'm perfectly happy with-"
"With, what? Being alone? Leaving that poor child without a mother?" His father tutts, his hands flexing against the golden armrests.
"Could we talk about this, later?" Eris grits out. Your heart sinks as you feel both of his parent's eyes on you. Looking to the Lady of Autumn, she only offers you a sorrow-filled expression.
"We shall do just that." Beron promises. "Now, go. Enjoy the rest of the ball." He grins wickedly as though he didn't just insult everyone standing before him.
Eris turns, guiding you down the stairs of the dais when you hear Beron's voice from behind you.
"Lovely to meet you, Y/N!"
You only manage a small nod as your foot steps onto the floor. Then, you take off in a beeline for the exit.
:* ✧・゚:
Your chest is heaving as you shove through the heavy entry doors to the palace, the cool night air chilly against your heated skin. You brace against one of the marbled columns in the entryway, a few hot tears finally breaking free and falling down your cheeks. In seconds, the doors open again, a familiar voice ringing out behind you.
"Y/N, please don't take what he said to heart-"
"Don't," you growl, your shoulders shaking as your emotions continue to rattle through you. The soft footsteps of his boots sound behind you, his quiet approach made known as his hand rests against your back.
"Love, I promise he's always like this-"
"Like what? Horrible?" Your eyes narrow as you turn to face him, his saddened expression evident when he sees the wet streams down your face. He reaches out, brushing a stray tear away.
"Pretty much," he mumbles, his other hand rubbing soothingly against your back. You continue to sob, soft sounds coming from you as Eris pulls you close to his chest.
In minutes, you feel his hands pushing you lightly against a cushiony surface. You follow his lead, sitting as you rub the water from your eyes. The familiar feeling of silk touches your fingers, and Eris moves for just a moment before the room is filled with heat.
His bedroom. He'd winnowed the two of you out of there, and right into his room.
"Eris-" You stutter, avoiding his gaze shamefully as he moves to sit beside you on the bed. "Y-you have to get back, your parents-"
"My parents can fuck off for now." He says, his hands reaching for you and pulling you close to him. He guides you to lie next to him, your head resting against his chest while his fingers stroke through your hair.
It's silent for a while, the only sounds from the fire crackling in the hearth and a few occasional sniffles as you work to regain your composure. When anyone finally speaks, it's him.
"I'm not going to remarry." He says, another few silent beats following his admission. Your heart breaks further, any hope of what you'd had before with the male shattering. He hugs you closer to him, his hands bracing around your smaller frame.
"I mean, I'm not remarrying just because of my father." He clarifies. You wipe your eyes with the back o your hand, pushing up on a elbow to look directly into his eyes.
"Eris... it doesn't seem like much of a choice-"
"It is," he cuts in. "It is my choice. I'm so sick of my father choosing what I do, and when, and who with. I won't allow it any longer." He frowns, pulling you down to lay with him again. Your fingers begin to play with one of the seams on his jacket, as your mind clears.
"Is that... what I was? Tonight?" You ask weakly. "Just, a way of defiance, to your father?" Eris sighs, tilting your chin to look up into his eyes. Though your face is red and puffy, he offers you a small smile.
"Never, my dear -- I had the choice in bringing someone with me this evening. And, I chose you. I wanted you there with me." You feel a spark of hope in your chest, amidst everything else you'd been feeling. He's quiet, waiting as you collect your thoughts.
Another single tear slips free, trailing down your cheek as you inch closer to him. He pulls you in, his mouth mere inches from yours as your voice comes out in a whisper.
"I choose you, too, Eris."
:* ✧・゚:
#Spotify#eris x reader#eris vanserra#eris acotar#eris vandaddy#eris fanfic#eris x oc#acowar#a court of frost and starlight#a court of mist and fury#a court of silver flames#a court of thorns and roses#a court of wings and ruin#acotar#acosf#acomaf#read more
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Need to cope with everything that happened in Arcane and formulating an AU where everything goes well without Vi having to die because I need Vi and Powder happy damn it! But thinking back that first episode and where things could have diverged and maybe when Powder finds the crystals she shares her discovery which leads to everyone arguing over whether they should take them because on the one hand they look valuable and on the other hand they could be dangerous and they're so loud about it they don't hear the door open until its too late. Now Jayce and Cait get to discover them inside the apartment and everyone just freezes. Cait wants to get the enforcers to deal with it but Jayce gives a very empathetic NO because he's fucking around with things he should not be fucking around with.
The kids definitely pick up on the fact that Jayce doesn't want the enforcers involved which I'm sure Vi would be using to try to get everyone out of their without getting arrested while Cait is like Why not?? Jayce is trying to deal with Vi and Mylo and Claggor while also trying to dodge Cait's increasing questioning because why can't they just get the enforcers. Powder ends up inspecting the big blackboard in there and asks some insightful question or draws some conclusion from it because Powder is Smart which gets Jayce totally distracted because Powder gets his nerd brain working, kinda abandoning the situation at hand to talk to her about what he's doing.
This devolves into Vi bargaining for Powder to get into one of the fancy Piltover schools or else Vi is totally going to rat Jayce out for what he's doing and Jayce is already a scholarship kid basically so he can't really do that but he does offer to teach Powder what he can himself which is acceptable enough and lets the kids pride be soothed because they feel like they got something out of their trip to the upper city. Meanwhile Cait is still freaking out because what do you mean you're going to let them go Jayce, they're thieves! This is probably about the time Vi calls Cait cupcake and Cait turns red for Multiple Reasons and also probably awakens something in her and Cait just gets super flustered and she and Vi start antagonistically flirting.
Anyways everyone parts ways after this with Vi probably pocketing one of the crystals as insurance to blackmail Jayce with in case he tries to renege on the deal. This is then the start of Powder and Vi coming to the upper city for Powder to get lessons from Jayce which mostly consist of the two of them studying hextech and making a lot more strides than Jayce was doing just on his own while Vi just stays there because she's not just going to leave her little sister alone with a stranger and Cait shows up because she doesn't trust these under city kids and also maybe wants to see Vi again and Cait and Vi spend the whole time basically flirtatiously sniping at each other while Jayce and Powder nerd out.
Claggor and Mylo are covering for the girls back in Zaun but eventually Vander finds out what's going on and how the kids even ended up making a deal with some upper city scholar and just kind of has to put his head in his hands because what are these kids doing but also kinda impressed because they went in there to steal and walked out having strong armed someone into giving Powder a semi proper education. Still Vander wants to meet the guy who's teaching his daughter even if he knows Vi wouldn't let her little sister within 15 feet of a creep.
This is also about the same time that Heimerdinger notices Jayce being exceptionally tired lately and manages to get Jayce to admit he's taken on tutoring a kid in his spare time. Heimerdinger is ecstatic that Jayce has discovered a love of learning and wants to meet whoever this young pupil Jayce has taken a shine too though he doesn't want Jayce to burn out. Once Jayce explains he's teaching the kid because she's from the under city, Heimerdinger definitely wants to meet the kid and offer them a place at the academy if they're up to snuff especially considering how talented his assistant Viktor is. Viktor who was in the area at the time of this conversation definitely takes note that Jayce avoided all of Heimerdinger's questions about what he was working on.
Anyways this all leads to Jayce and Heimerdinger taking a trip down to Zaun to meet with Vander and Powder and the rest of the kids too which leads to Heimerdinger meeting Claggor and Ekko who he sees as having a lot of potential too and then I don't really know where things go from there. But I think Heimerdinger who's on the council talking to such a central community figure in Zaun like Vander would really open his eyes and make Heimerdinger realize that there is a lot that can be done to help the under city and I think Vander would be willing to work with him unlike some other people *cough* Silco *cough*. The fact that Vi is looking like the future Mrs. Kiramman would also probably lead to Cassandra and Vander meeting which has a lot of potential to make things happen.
Also please imagine the worlds most awkward meet the family dinner between the posh Kirammans and Vi's incredibly weird found family. The hijinks alone are endless not to mention the drama that would probably unfold there. Especially if Vander and Silco end up reconciling for whatever reason and now you got a council member and a chem baron sharing a dinner table.
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₊ ⊹ᯓ★ — 𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐬𝐲𝐫𝐮𝐩
pairing : yuuta okkotsu x reader
warnings : nothing i think?
description : coffee shop meet-cute
2:13 PM
“Hey can I get another refill on this?”
He mumbled placing the big mug that contained the remnants of a cappuccino on the countertop. His dark eyes shifted around, never lingering on you for more than a second. You raised your eyebrows in slight surprise and you nodded, picking up the mug.
“Yeah I’ll be right back.”
It was rare to see him by himself in the café. Usually he was surrounded by his odd group of friends, all dressed up in the same uniform from a school you didn’t know of. Today, however, he was by himself, and dressed outside of his usual clothes. He wore a white loose-fitting white t-shirt and a pair of dark jeans, fiddling with the ring on his finger while you prepared his drink.
Once you were done, you took the cup back to the counter and offered him a smile. Reaching out to pick up the cup, tips of his ears grew hot as his heart beat frantically in his chest.
“No friends today?”
“Huh? Oh! No, just me.”
4:16 PM
“Hey, sorry. Can I ask for another refill on this?”
This time your eyebrows furrowed. This was his 5th refill since he came in just short of three hours ago. Five cups of cappuccinos in less than 3 hours was not normal, but who were you to judge? You flashed him a smile, taking the cup in your hands and walking away to prepare another.
Once again, when you were finished, he took back the cup. The piping hot liquid sloshed around in the cup as he walked away, back to the small table tucked away in the corner. The table wasn’t too big, just enough to hold the books he had and the cup of coffee, but it had the additional perk of having a clear view of the counters where the baristas worked. He was able to see you make, mix, and pour drinks out for all the customers that came to the café, the smiles you gave to people, and hear the hearty laughter you shared with your coworkers.
It was like a trance, watching you work. He was mesmerized, until your coworker whispered something to you making your head snap in his direction. Again his ears grew hot as he averted his gaze, suddenly his book became a lot more interesting.
7:33 PM
“Sorry to bother you again, but is it okay for me to get another refill?”
This time your (e/c) eyes bore into him. Your stare so intense it felt like maintaining eye contact would burn him away completely.
This would be his 10th cup.
At some point there has to be a limit, from the beginning of your shift to now, just shy of 10 minutes away from clocking out, you’ve watched him down 9 cups of cappuccinos.
“This is the tenth time you’ve asked for a refill. Are you okay?”
The question took him by surprise, his cheeks reddening as he fidgeted with the ring on his finger. Frankly, didn’t know how to answer the question. He was okay, absolutely. But mustering up the courage to even talk to you besides asking for a drink took lots of courage, and apparently 9 cups of coffee.
“Uh, yeah. I’m okay.”
“Are you sure?” You questioned, raising an eyebrow, leaning just a little too close, enough for him to catch a whiff of the perfume/cologne you wore. The scent of coffee beans lingered around you, but that was expected seeing your place of work.
It was hard to get any words out with the lump that had formed in his throat. He swallowed, his mouth feeling dry and sandpapery. He nodded, his dark eyes locked in an intense stare with yours.
You lean back and shrug, grabbing the cup and turning on your heel to fix up another cappuccino for him. But before you could really go anywhere, his voice called out to you.
“Do you maybe want to do something together someday?”
It had initially came out extremely fast and a little high-pitched, the question flying completely over your head. You turned around, a confused expression painting your face.
“Huh?"
“Would you like to go on a date with me?” He clarified. The tips of his ears and his face were now a bright red, the look of sheer anxiety replaced the tired appearance he usually sported.
You bit your lip, trying to suppress the laugh that threatened to spill out. You found it cute, the way he had asked, as nervous as it was.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’d really like that. I get off in about 3 minutes if you wanted to hang around?”
“Perfect, I’m Yuuta Okkotsu by the way”
“I’m Y/n L/n.”
please please please please send requests my brain is SO dry of ideas rn
this is completely unedited and i just spat this out like rn so :,) forgive me
#jjk x reader#yuuta x reader#jjk yuta#yuta okkotsu x reader#okkotsu yuuta#jujutsu kaisen#yuuta okkotsu x reader#4rmins.txt
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jason todd with a partner who’s into skincare/haircare
he didn’t know people actually did those 10 step korean skincare routines until he met you
he goes over to your place one day and sees all of the products in your bathroom and is like how could you possibly use all of these
he grew up with a broke mom and then a bunch of men, even billionaire bruce wayne doesn’t really do much besides some fancy hair products maybe
will probably be a bit skeptical like he lowkey thinks it’s a scam because no way do you need that many products just for your face
but if you sit him down and explain everything i think he’ll understand (or at least he understands that it’s important to you. don’t expect him to become a skincare expert overnight)
thinks you’re kinda cute when you’re doing your routine, like with your little headband and how focused you are while you’re doing it
will loiter around in the washroom, spend extra long brushing his teeth so he has an excuse to watch you
he will 100% laugh at how goofy you look when you put on a face mask though
make him wear one and suddenly he isn’t laughing anymore
if you try to make him do a whole skincare routine he’s going to grumbling the whole time but he’ll still do it
still thinks it’s kind of unnecessary (“why are we washing our face to make it dry to slap on wet stuff?”)
he lowkey does enjoy it though
he doesn’t have too many skin problems (i feel like he did have acne as a teenager but he grew out of that) besides maybe like his skin being on the dry side
definitely has ashy elbows and knees too
so at the very least he appreciates the moisturizarion, but he doesn’t really get the other stuff
feel like he’ll stick to just splashing his face with water or going like “i wash my face when i shower” but when you’re doing your routine he’ll steal some of your moisturizer
i think as time goes on, he’ll really like the domesticity of the whole nighttime routine thiugh
like shower, blow dry hair, brush teeth, skincare
luckily he’s not a 2 in 1 type of guy but that’s only because he straight up didn’t understand what conditioner was for
and i feel like he would just buy one of those costco sized bottles of body wash, like a neutral scented one so he doesn’t have to think about restocking (also it’s the most price efficient)
will tease you if you have fancy shampoo and conditioner
but who’s going to steal it after all of that teasing? he is
i think he just does it accidentally but ends up finding the smell really comforting (reminds him of you) and also his hair feels weirdly nice
might use it once in a while
definitely see him enjoying having his hair blow dried and also blow drying your hair
it’s a weirdly intimate act
also i feel like he’s not big on words, so sometimes he does other things to show he cares for you
like just the little things
he knows you take your skincare routine seriously, so if there’s ever a day when you feel too tired to do it, he knows something is up
will probably try to gauge what the situation is, like whether it’s a problem with work or school, if you want to talk about; or if it’s just been a long day
will help you to the washroom and if you’re too tired, will do your skincare for you
he’s watched you enough times to kind of know what he’s doing
personally hc that he has to get used to the change in his body and physical strength after the lazarus pit so he’s careful to be as gentle as possible
handles you like you’re on the verge of breaking
he’ll tie your hair into a loose ponytail (he knows it could be tighter but he’s kinda worried that it’ll hurt if he does another loop), keep the headband stretched as he pulls it over your head so that it doesn’t make contact with your face
makes sure the water isn’t too hot (you have to assure him that if the water is a little hot it won’t kill you and that for the oil cleanser to come off properly he’s going to need to make it hotter) and rubs the softest circles into your face
i think he’s focusing on this too much to be talkative
it’s kinda cute watching him struggle with some of the products
he’s trying to remember the order of the products and where on your face you put each one
you might have to give him pointers from time to time
i think he starts giving you obnoxious kisses all over your face as you’re trying to do your skincare to tease you
but after a few times i don’t think it’s a joke anymore…
will accidentally taste some serum and be traumatized though (please do not try to eat skincare!!)
will stick to your lips
#dc batman#jason todd#batman comics#red hood#batman#jason todd x you#jason todd x reader#jason todd x y/n#jason todd headcanon#jason todd hcs#jason todd hc#red hood x you#red hood imagine#red hood x reader#red hood x y/n#jason todd imagine
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Prelude to... A movie on Saturday
A snippet from "a Mafia" & "From Assassin to Sales Clerk" AUs
Pyrrha was once again in the mall being dragged along by Jaune. The man she was supposed to kill, but because of her traitor of a heart and turncoat of a brain, she couldn't pull the literal trigger on the job. Of course the dense, oblivious, sweet, cutie. Pyrrha shook her head to try and replace those words... only for sweet to become loveable, and cute to morph into adorable.
So because of her inability to override her heart and brain, her mark who somehow had spotted her trailing him, decided she must be his... bodyguard. Pyrrha didn't know what was worse. Not being able to finish the job herself, or having to PREVENT other hitters from completing the contract! In was insane, and giving her a migraine.
"Jaune!" Pyrrha yelped when he grabbed her by the wrist, and started to drag her towards his chosen destination. "Hold on!"
"Come on Pyr!" Jaune spoke through his adorable goofy smile. Hearing her nickname, and seeing that smile, made Pyrrha "Goddess of Death" Nikos, blush like a school girl.
The blush, and associated happy feelings instantly died upon stepping over the threshold to Pumpkin Pete's Novelty Store. Gods Pyrrha hated this store. It was tacky, gaudy, and over priced! Like seriously $200 lien for a hoodie just because it had a trademarked rabbit head logo on it? But Jaune loved the store, and as his... bodyguard she was required to stick by his side, even in this hell.
But that wasn't the full reason she hated stepping inside this neon coloured purgatory. No that other reason was currently staffing the till of the store.
"Hi, Jaune! Pyrrha!" Blake called from her spot next to the till, in an overly cheery tone.
"Blake! Did they come in?" Jaune asked, like a over energetic puppy.
"Yep. The whole set is on the shelf, next to the Cereal Display." Blake helpfully informed Jaune, who released his grip on Pyrrha and rushed off towards the indicated destination.
"Blake." Pyrrha greeted the cashier coldly. Now why would Pyrrha be such a... bitch to some one working in customer service? Well because Blake Belladonna was also an assassin. One who had TRIED to claim the payout on Jaune.
"Pyrrha, you can relax. I signed off as not interested on Jaune's contract. You and him are safe in here." Blake informed her rival hitwoman for like the twentieth time.
"I still don't trust you."
"And that is an issue." Blake retorted. "How can you be in a relationship when you can't even trust someone in the same profession... wait that is a terrible example. I can perfectly see why you would have trust issue there."
"Whoa! Limited Edition Chainsaw-hand Pete!" Jaune shouted in excitement from his side of the store.
"How many of those freakish Sche-Pop things are there?" Pyrrha asked with a defeated sigh.
"Two dozen." Blake responded. "Anyway, you need to be more trustful. How are you going to move forward with Jaune if you can't trust and be honest?"
"Honest and truthful?" Pyrrha snorted, "Tell me Blake, in your infinate wisdom how this would go. Ahem. Jaune I'm actually a hitwoman who is supposed to kill you for a Schnee amount of money."
"Yeah, maybe not that honest."
"Anyway, have you been that honest with... Yang?"
"How do you know about her?" Blake hissed, her hand reaching for the kukri sheathed under the counter top.
"Jaune and her are friends through her sister Ruby, and you should understand... blonds talk. Especially to other blonds."
"Shit!"
"So have you taken your own advice?" Pyrrha asked with a smirk. "Opened that Pandora's box of truth, to you blond?"
"I'm trying!" Blake hissed, "It's hard, you know. I even bought out her contract four years ago, so no one could pick it up!"
"Whoa. That is commitment. When's the wedding?"
"Hush you!" Blake answered. "You're no better, you know that! Blushing and squirming like a school girl every time Jaune even looks at you!"
"How else should I react?" Pyrrha asked. "His contract has a no-buy-out clause! I'm sleeping in his bedroom for Gods sake!"
"Same or separate beds?" Blake asked instantly serious.
"Separate."
"Shit!"
"Blake, where you thinking lewd thoughts about me and my sweet Jaune-Jaune?"
"No, and do you hear yourself?"
"EEP!" Pyrrha squeaked as she finally recalled what she just said, and said out loud. "Argh! I'm a mess! What am I supposed to do! This should never have happened!"
"Preach it sister." Blake replied. "Yang wants to take me to the movies, Saturday, and I bet you an hour's wages she'll invite Jaune who will bring you along."
"A movie!" Pyrrha's heart was slamming against her ribs. "What the hell do we do at a movie?"
"Hold hands? Make out?"
"We are killers Blake! We are ill equipped to do such normal things!" Pyrrha growled in desperation while unintentionally grabbing Blake by her hands. "What are we supposed to do? how am I supposed to act normal?"
"Don't ask me!" Blake replied. " The only normal thing I know is how to work a retail job!"
"Right." Pyrrha released Blake's hands. "I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but WHY are you still working here?"
"Deery." Blake replied without hesitation. "She's scary."
"Oh, yeah... I remember her." Pyrrha visibly shivered.
"Hey!"
"No."
"Rude. You don't even know what I was going to say!"
"You were going to suggest I speak to one of Jaune's sisters." Pyrrha scowled. "Not happening. Ever."
"So then we go to this movie, flub it, Get outed as murderous psychos, and lose the loves of our lives?" Blake asked.
"Fine. I'll ask Saphron." Pyrrha capitulated. "Happy?"
"You were right Blake!" Jaune commented in his overly cheerfully friendly voice. "They had ALL twenty-four PLUS the four special editions!" Jaune pushed a shopping cart to the counter. A cart filled with boxed figures.
"Jaune. Don't you have like all of these at home already?" Pyrrha asked, leaning back from the freaky things.
"No. That was series one. These are series two. So they're different."
"How?"
"Poses. Accessories." Jaune cheerfully replied.
"I'll just ring these all though, for you." Blake commented.
"Oh, Blake?"
"Yes, Jaune?"
"Yang said something about movies Saturday." Pyrrha froze. "So I thought I'd check with you to see if you'd mind it Pyr and I tagged along?"
"Don't mind at all. The more the merrier." Blake replied, in her practiced cheery customer service voice.
#rwby#a mafia au#from assassin to sales clerk au#jaune arc#pyrrha nikos#yang xiao long#blake bellodona#bumblby#arkos
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Pure or neutral Sydney being a pervert, like pervert who is so ashamed of the fact that shes one, ie fussing over accidentally looking upskirt pc, sniffing pcs forgotten shirt or jacket, please please PLEASE see my vision
pervy pure syd… oh she’s everything to me. she’s so desperate and overwhelmed all the time and it’s all So Much. when she finally starts to listen to her own desires, they all come out at once, and she’s powerless against her own wants. so yea she’s going to be a little freak.
when pc forgets their jacket at school, syd takes it home under the guise of returning it the next day. she does ofc, but not before she can smother her face with it while she humps her pillow… on second thought, maybe it’s best that she doesn’t return it. if she had to see you wearing that jacket again she might combust
not being able to stop staring at pc’s tits/thighs/etc. she would never allow herself to look at pictures of hot women in magazines or in ads before because she thought it would be a slippery slope to lust, but now when you’re right here in front of her… she can’t help it! she just wants to stare at you all day. she’ll try to convince herself it’s somehow platonic and normal and she just Appreciates Your Beauty, but when she literally can’t get the image of your tits out of her mind, she knows she is a bit fucked
i mean the canon scene of her peeking into the changing room!!! agghhhhh she’s so cute. and you know if she catches just the tiniest glimpse… well she’s going to feel so ashamed for peeking in on you BUT she’s also going to literally treasure that visual memory. it’s gonna be on her mind 24/7. shes about to start smashing her chastity belt with hammers.
especially cute when it’s post-rite of promise syd. now that she can finally masturbate/have sex and not go to hell, she’s insatiable. but shes still got a lot of guilt and shame to unlearn so shes just unbearably horny all the time but still to nervous to really do much about it… shes not at the point yet where she can pull you into the changing room or sit on your lap or do any kind of public teasing.
so the moment she’s alone, she is shoving her fingers down her underwear lol. but it’s so frustrating because she knows her hands will never feel as good as yours do.
it’s such a cute stage for her to be in, where she’s both Consumed By Lesbian Lust but also still deep in the guilt and shame. you can either indulge her and encourage her to take what she wants, or you could continue to tease her and see just how worked up you could get her… both very good options hehe
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Some Headcanons of the characters of Peachyville
Trudy Trout
- She always loved the holiday season, especially because of all of the pretty lights
- She has some Irish and Icelandic blood in her family and is proud of her roots
- She was very competitive when it came to athletic activities but always a good sport!
- Her favorite kind of books were ones on Social Issues like ‘All Quiet on the Western Front’ and ‘The Jungle’
Kelsey Grammer
- She enjoys to teach English and History, her favorite things about these subjects was Spelling and Grammar for English and The Civil Rights Movement for History
- She used to struggle a lot with her Dysgraphia as a child and so what she would do is read and write down the words and definitions of things from the dictionary (I used to do that)
- She was never the best at anything inherently feminine and she was bullied for it until she got in Boxing
- She is obsessed with learning about her family history and has found that she is Polish and Swedish and comes from a long line of people who fought in the Military
Tony Collete
- He found him self drawn to cars because as a Cat, he once seen the Mille Miglia and fell in love
- He grew very fond of the real Tony Collete and loved him like a Son
- Although he also loved his Fathers, He never felt as connected to them because they were the ones who had turned him into a cat
- He finds that him being an Italian Immigrant in the 50’s won’t do him any good and that maybe if he did what others do to him, they won’t do it to him so much
- Bonus: He’s Pansexual and Intersex with xyyy chromosomes (Pansexuality was coined in 1914 and Intersex was coined in 1917)
Francis Farnsworth
- Francis grew up whitewashed, even with a Thai mother and Puerto Rican father, He has tried many times to change himself to seem like everyone else
- Due to his Financial situation and His Family’s Beliefs, He was never able to get Diagnosed with ASD or BPD
- He has an intense fear of being wrong, being born wrong, doing something wrong and this fear had taken over him so much that the only way he was able to ignore it was by self pleasure
- He experiences some bit of self-hatred towards himself for a lot of things but also because of his Bisexuality
Blake Lively
- The first time he’s encountered some form of racism was he first went to elementary school and a teacher had planted alcohol on him
- He used to help his Family with money, mostly by doing odd jobs for people in rich neighborhoods
- He and Tony both met in Dewer, Oklahoma where they had some shenanigans before moving to Peachyville, Nebraska
- He’s the only one who knows of Tony’s Backstory as a Cat
#the peachyville horror#headcanon#hcs#tony collette#kelsey grammer#trudy trout#francis farnsworth#blake lively#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndaddies#season 3
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Some Legato thoughts:
He hates humanity, that’s pretty obvious, he wants all humans to die.
But there is this really fascinating disconnect that happens with him sometimes, where you can kind of sort of see the person he could have been peak through, but just barely.
The two most obvious examples of this I can think of is when he shares one of his hot dogs with a child that seemingly didn’t have a reliable access to food and when he frees those enslaved girls. Two things that he really did not have to go out of his way to do, and by all means shouldn’t care for at all considering his hatred for humanity.
But he still did.
And by themselves those seem like very good actions, right?
But then you remember that the hotdog had been kept in a bag with a severed head/tongue, and he wanted to use the kid to spook Vash (but then again he didn’t have to give her food to do that, he could have so easily used his powers to control her, we have seen him do it to entire groups of people with ease).
He violently kills over a dozen people with his powers in front of those slave girls, not because he intended to free them but because the slavers picked a fight with him first (but he spares the girls, none of them are physically harmed at all despite the carnage, and he offers them the closest thing he has to reassurances before he leaves, when he could have just ignored them).
It’s like he almost gets there, but not quite.
#[Text]#Trigun#Trigun 98'#Legato Bluesummers#me coming into the fandom late and talking about things I'm sure have already been discussed to death like 'me contribute thing!!'#Also I haven't read the manga yet so idk if things differ there#they never explore his backstory in the anime so I'm not even going to get started on the connotations that has to his actions#anyways I love Legato and I will not shut up about him#this also makes me ponder the whole 'does intent or action matter more' thing#especially in a character VS viewer sense#like the kid never knows the hot dog shared a bag with a head#so what difference does it really make to her?#same with the slave girls they saw some gory shit but hey they're free now#so isn't Legato a savior to them in a way?#We as the viewers know he's evil but its hard not to notice that Legato does some things that are arguably 'good'#and I'm sure that's entirely intentional- Legato is a complex character with a lot of depth!#NOW IF ONLY THIS WAS ACKNOWLEDGED BY MORE PEOPLE- ahem#I could also write a whole essay on how these scenes with Legato are contrasted against Vash#Maybe I will once school is over who knows
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you get riz gukgak so well 👍👍
thank u!! he really kinda is all of my favourite character things rolled into one package (negotiation of principles/investigator-truth seeker-negotiator with reality and the narrative/obnoxious character whose narrative reward for participating in the story is getting to be even more authentically obnoxious/deeply and hauntingly aroace
#not art#everything else abt him is also compelling so Im just eating well while crying over here#the aroace part I believe from the bottom of my heart the moment he bribed a girl in freshman year First Day Of School to eavesdrop for him#In The Girl's Bathroom. like the decision itself isnt far off from a lot of noir stuff trapp's character in mentopolis did the same#but the supreme lack of awareness of what that decision says abt you in a social setting. now That's aroace#the only reason I dont read him as agender too is bc he didnt straight up waltz in there lmao#honestly bouncing off of that I also thinks folks sometimes downplay or buff off how cringe riz is... but its my favourite thing on earth#esp. in tandem with the Everything else abt him. theres an insistence in the genres he pulls from on the greater good and losing#ur real self in the work and being maybe strange but above all The Guy Who Gets The Job Done. and riz pushing the limit of that is awesome#like as a character I feel like some of it is like yeah I do get the job done. if it kills me even. how Strange do I get to be#or is it just being strange in a domineering and mysterious magnetic way. I will be cringe actually deal with that for my service#this and the part of his character that's yknow. Living While Goblin. that's a deeply compelling dynamic to me#anyways uhhh once again typing huge paragraphs abt this guy lmao. this happens forever I let it#anyways for the reason of spy theming and information dealer if u do class swap AU I propose bard!riz#u know. what is disguise if not a sister to stealth (<- extremely transgender sentence to say)
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i genuinely have No idea when you sleep ive known you for ages and i still dont have a single clue of your time zone it is so bizarre to me you are basically a cryptid
This is so funny to me help,, I love the idea of being some mysterious cryptid,, always awake,,,
But ,, I’m afraid the boring answer is just I do Not Have a sleep schedule anymore. most of the sleep I get is from little naps I take throughout the day + night so im like,, always awake but somehow also always asleep
#kite answers#I feel like we've talked abt this before ?? maybe im making that up KFJHKFH but yeah the answer is my sleep is just fucked#if u srs wanted an timezone then pacific LOL (until uni is over at least then who knows where ill end up again :'') -#but for uni I am here...)#BUT timezone tbh means v little atm since... sleep schedule is broke </3#Ik its bad and I am going to try and fix this next year once this school term is over its just brutal right now#none of this which u needed to know but I like to yap sorry spicy KFHFKJH#:'p
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I knew about the post concert depression but no one told me about the post concert constant feeling of AAAAAAAAAHHH that lasts days and makes everything much more bearable and beautiful and some sort of ethereal type of hope is restored into the world, or maybe it's just the "seeing your favourite band after first thinking that it would never happen and later spending many months waiting for it all the while fearing that it wouldn't happen after all because of circumstances outside my control or feeling like it was too beautiful and wonderful to be true so ofc it wouldn't come true" part of it all
#guys i love they might be giants. did you know about this#me days before the show: crying because i will see they might be giants#me days after the show: crying because i saw they might be giants#truth is that i didn't actually full on cry until yesterday evening though so once i was back home so it was all officially over#and it was time to just slow down and realize that oh well wow. so all that just happened. like for realsies#i also finally looked through my videos and my recording of the whole show (yes as an archivist freak who records audio from most concerts#i obviously had to record this one also. now i can listen to it again and again and be remided that i didn't dream it all up after all)#but yeah all this and now i'm supposed to move on and go back to my stupid daily life#like i didn't just have one of those real actual life experiences and moments of pure fun that other people generally get from time to time#and that i haven't had since idk even when a year and a half ago#thats the last time i consider truly amazing on a level somewhat comparable to this. but back to the show and the whole thing.#like this wouldn't have been quite as perfect if i didn't share that time with fellow fans / friends that i ended up attending the show wit#you don't realize how badly you've been wanting to be included in things and for people to be genuinely fond of you and like your company#until you get included and shown that fondness. like wow i'm allowed to have fun too after all. can it happen again someday please. anyway#i'm just glad that in midst of my big bad awful times i could have this truly amazing 10/10 time#and i guess it doesn't have to be the last such time right. even if it's easy to give into the feeling that it is#but ok anyway i'll get to that proper show recap later when i can think clearly again#and maybe more on that more personal side of it all too because well i have many more thoughts obviously#but whether i get to that in 3 days or 3 months is a mystery for now. just kind of a lot to think about once again#and my stupid baka life continues on also whether i like it or not so that has to be taken into consideration as well#time to think again about school that i'm so totally fully failing now with my two weeks long absence yayyy. its fine i'll figure it all out#goosepost
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Actually, on the topic of the baby fever. God it's so frustrating. Bc when I was like 14 ish I was Adamant that I never ever wanted kids. And my dad said smth around the lines of "that'll likely change" (probably from his own experience with this) and I was like NO. it WONT.
And then eventually, age 21-22 ish, I admitted that Okay, I still don't want to have my own kids, but someday maybe I'll adopt...
And Now, 27 years old, I got the general baby fever on occasion. It Did fucking change. And I don't know if I actually WILL bother with having my own kid (I still don't want to go through the hassle and massive body changes). But god. I do see a fucking baby and feel that stab of longing. It's almost like my damned hormones betrayed me or smth. Maddening!
I shall simply write fanfic about it.
#speculation nation#pregnancy ment/#honestly though i hadnt felt the wish to have my own until after my dad died#and i realized just how small our family is getting. and just felt this stab of NEED. to continue the line. continue the family.#my family's fucking dying around me i need to add to it. need more family. yknow?#so i dont actually know if this is. because of hormones or because of grief or What#but it was enough for me to put the hysterectomy idea on hold. bc id been genuinely considering it back in like. april? or so.#but then this happened and now im like. fuck dude. i dont know. but the uncertainty's enough to keep me from doing it.#yeah i dont wanna deal with periods anymore. but also. i need more time to decide.#i think no matter what i do want to raise kids someday. once im more stable (financially and emotionally)#but whether thats adoption or putting myself thru fuckin body torture. well i'll just have to decide. later.#maybe the deciding factor will be my own body aging lol. if i wait too long. my body will decide for me. who knows!#i Have thought about what id do if i got accidentally pregnant. especially relevant back when i was sleeping with a trans woman#and used to be id abort no hesitation. but well. i mean abortions illegal here anyways rn so id have to go to another state#but if i decided it i could make it work. it's not That far of a trip.#but. when i thought about it. the concern was less about the theoretical baby. and more about finishing school.#thinking 'man itd be fucking awful to finish school if i got pregnant right now'. but not. hesitating over the baby.#if i was out of school and relatively stable and i got accidentally pregnant. then. well. Maybe.#so me doing my dad vash au where he gets accidentally pregnant and goes all in with it#thats me. sorting out my feelings on it i guess. putting them somewhere.#idk. it's a lot to think about. i dont want to condemn a child to my genetic problems. but at the same time...#i dont know. To Be Decided Later.
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