#Maybe I should just try +R that would probably humble me instantly I know my complaining makes me sound super pretentious LOL I'm sorry

[arashi-no-saxlphone]

I gotta go back to living in my cave and not having enough knowledge to realize Axl is not good. I was happier. I was telling people Axl was underrated and just tricky to make effective. I played Slayer and Sol and felt what it was like to have a working Close Slash for an hour and it made me want to curl up and cry. What the fuck man. What is this. Diasuke's Allegory of the Cave place me back in the sweet embrace of ignorance.

[dannypuro]

You said your askbox was open so!! From Something Telling I am very invested in the mutual pining of Feuilly and Baz and just that individually they were like. Whispering their feels to their friends. I am parched for any details of. Them. If you are amenable. BYE <3

YOU!!! YOU UNDERSTAND!!!! YOU AND YOUR WONDERFUL ASKS AND GIANT COMMENTS UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANT PARTS OF SOMETHING TELLING ma’am i owe you my life. i adore you. and yes, without further ado... A Very Long Post about the boys.

feuilly moves into bahorel’s apartment building when he first moves to france, like, five or six years before the start of Something Telling. and he doesn’t speak a lot of french at ALL, at first, because he wasn’t expecting to move, but he got an opportunity with a gallery kind of last minute and he only had time to panic and duolingo it up a little bit. but he moves into baz’s apartment building, all the way up in the tiny attic apartment, and he doesn’t hire any movers because he’s broke, and that would be fine, except the elevator breaks sometime between when he goes out to find some furniture and when he gets said furniture delivered to outside the building. and now he has to figure out how to get this stupid second-hand couch up five flights of stairs and he doesn’t even know anyone in the country he can call for help. 

cue bahorel, coming back from the gym and all sweaty and gross. (nasty.) and he’s never seen feuilly before, but he is CERTAINLY seeing him now. 👁👁. and they have an awkward little conversation--all “hey, dude, do you, like, need a hand?” and poor feuilly desperately trying to remember his duolingo to figure out what the fuck this hot guy is saying to him. bahorel is instantly enamored--feuilly is fucking pretty, okay, and he’s funny and his accent is cute and baz just fucking knows feuilly’s smarter than him and he’s so fucking into it. just. he’s so into him.

and the thing is, baz is pretty sure feuilly’s maybe into him, too--he helps him drag the couch up the stairs, and they make conversation, and he thinks that he’s flirting, a little, and he’s definitely ogling baz up a bit. and, like, yeah, sure--he knows he’s hot, and feuilly’s smoking hot, in an overworked, tired, starving artist way, so... yeah. he’s totally gonna sleep with his brand-new hot neighbor.

only, then they start talking about why feuilly’s moving into the building--he tells baz that he’s new to paris, new to france, and he doesn’t know anybody, doesn’t even really speak french, and he moved for work but he doesn’t really know what he’ll do outside of that, and he’s just so! fucking! charming! and smart! and baz is like. right. well. 🥺, dude. 

they get up to feuilly’s apartment (and HOOOO, feuilly’s pretty strong, actually 👁👁 wow 👁👁 what a coincidence bahorel is shredded as well👁👁 maybe we can hook up and be shredded together👁👁) and set the couch down. and bahorel looks around his empty little attic apartment and takes in his nearly-empty kitchen and his one beautiful houseplant in the middle of the room, because that’s where the most light is, and he can’t just LEAVE. not when feuilly doesn’t have any friends. feuilly’s awesome, baz already knows it! he should meet baz’s awesome friends!

only, feuilly’s kind of- feuilly’s kind of leaning in, a bit, and bahorel has hooked up with enough dudes to know when someone’s putting on the moves. and he’s SO into it, and he almost just kisses him, almost hooks up with him on the couch that they just hauled up five flights of stairs together, only-

only, if feuilly’s a one-night stand, he won’t want to meet baz’s awesome friends, and he seems so lonely. so bahorel takes one for the team. and instead of leaning in to make out with the hottest dude he’s ever met, he’s just like HEY MY FRIENDS ARE HAVING A GET-TOGETHER TONIGHT WANNA COME YOU CAN MEET THEM THEY’RE SUPER NICE AND COOL. (oh, god, he really hopes feuilly wants to.)

feuilly’s a little taken aback, for obvious reasons, but- but he does want to meet bahorel’s friends, and mostly, he wants to spend some more time with bahorel, and it’s a shame that he wasn’t reading the room right when he thought baz was into him, but, well, you can’t have everything. maybe he can’t get laid by his super-hot neighbor, but hey, if he can meet some people who don’t mind that he doesn’t actually speak french yet, and if he can get to know bahorel a little better, he’ll take it.

feuilly goes to the party. jehan adores him, obviously. feuilly doesn’t, like... get what’s up with them, yet, since he didn’t watch french media growing up and therefore missed all of their child-stardom, but he likes them just fine, anyways. jehan’s like 20 and is blazed out of their mind and is having a medieval phase (one of many). feuilly is confused, but also within 90 minutes realizes that he would INSTANTLY throw hands with ANYONE if it was for jehan’s sake. so. 

jehan’s all like “go talk to grantaire! he knows all sorts of things about art! he’s working on painting me naked!” so feuilly goes to talk to the lump in the corner but like. listen. grantaire’s having a hard time. he doesn’t make an awesome first impression. not awful, just... he’s having a hard time. feuilly gets it. they become better friends a little later, mostly because bahorel keeps dragging feuilly around with him whenever he’s free. (not like feuilly minds)

but feuilly doesn’t make a move on bahorel again. because he must have misread the situation, right? otherwise they would have fucked. they’d BE fucking. too bad bahorel doesn’t like him like that. oh, well, at least they’re friends!

bahorel DOES like him like that. duh. feuilly’s awesome. but he hasn’t made a move on bahorel since that first afternoon. he’s probably just not that into bahorel, past the one-night-stand type stuff. oh, well, at least they’re friends!

life goes on. they hang out a lot. like, a LOT. they’re totally each other’s best friends. feuilly learns more french. (baz is actually super relieved when he can’t quite manage to get rid of the accent, even though he would never say so, because that would hurt feuilly’s feelings. baz tries not to act like a dick around feuilly, even though he kind of is one around other people, sometimes. he just... wants feuilly to like him.) feuilly gets absorbed into the group. he picks up another job, in addition to the work he’s doing for the gallery, and he’s making a little more money, which is good for both of them, because feuilly can afford meals that aren’t mostly rice, sometimes, and bahorel doesn’t have to spend all day every day wondering how he’s going to be able to get feuilly to let him pay for his food this time around. (if they were dating, baz thinks, if they were dating, he could take feuilly out for dinner and pay for it and pay for the wine and for the dessert, too, and feuilly wouldn’t be able to give him that look he shoots him whenever baz “accidentally” orders the wrong dish from the thai place down the road, so what if it always happens to be feuilly’s favorite, shut up, man, it’s a coincidence)

but feuilly’s making more money, so he decides to move out of his shitty attic apartment, because it kind of sucks, and it’s miniscule, and he’s an adult, damn it. he finds a new place that is marginally larger and marginally less shitty, and it’s not even that far away, just a couple blocks, and he tells baz he’ll be moving when his lease is up that year. 

bahorel just wants to beg him to move in with him, but he only has the one bedroom, and feuilly’s not his fucking boyfriend. so he helps feuilly move, because he’s a good buddy, and he gets hammered with grantaire, after, because grantaire is lonely for someone he hasn’t met yet and bahorel is terrified that feuilly isn’t going to want to hang out with him now that they aren’t neighbors anymore. 

feuilly, meanwhile, is across town at grantaire’s apartment (sans grantaire) getting blazed with jehan because he’s terrified that bahorel isn’t going to want to hang out with him now that they aren’t neighbors anymore. (jehan’s all 🥺You Are Always Welcome At My Humble Abode🥺 and feuilly’s very touched but he’s pretty sure he’s totally in love with bahorel and he’s scared and he’s also not sure that jehan even pays rent. so.)

they totally keep hanging out. obviously. (maybe a little bit less than they used to, but if baz thinks about that he’ll fucking cry.) bahorel feels a little bit like his heart is going to break, which is totally lame and which was not the plan when he agreed to help move a couch three years earlier. it’s just... there’s nobody like feuilly. there’s nobody even CLOSE to being like feuilly. and feuilly doesn’t like him. and so he spends a lot of time at grantaire’s place, and jehan finally gets their own apartment, so he’s free to cry into grantaire’s shoulder all he fucking wants.

feuilly goes on dates, sometimes. bahorel could totally treat him better than any of those dickheads. damn it.

bahorel hooks up with people, sometimes. feuilly could totally fuck him better than any of those dickheads. damn it.

and then grantaire gets a weird new roommate, or something. baz doesn’t know, fuck, nobody tells him jack shit. but he stops hearing from grantaire for a couple weeks, for the most part, and then he gets the party invite in the groupchat, and fuck, if there’s a housewarming party, he shall attend. feuilly mentions something to him about R’s new roomie being some philosopher, or something, but bahorel was kind of busy watching him fold up little origami flowers out of newspaper, so he missed all that. it’s cool, he’ll catch up.

apparently, grantaire’s roommate is from the 19th century. apparently, grantaire also has a massive fucking crush on him. huh.

when they first meet, feuilly and enjolras are kind of hilariously enamored by one another. not in a romantic way, just in a Very Intense Admiration type way. after they meet at the housewarming party, enjolras is like “I Must Find A Way To Speak With Feuilly Again, For He Is A Brilliant Mind And A Good Man” and combeferre is like... want me to invite him over? and enjy is like “No, I Must Pen Him A Letter. Yes. This Is A Good And Rational Plan.” (he spills coffee all over the letter right when he’s almost done and almost cries. ferre just invites feuilly over anyways.)

feuilly, of course, is freaking out about whether or not he can find a way to hang out with enjolras again. because! ahh!!! that’s François-Marie Enjolras, political revolutionary and philosopher!!!! feuilly’s read his essays like five times!!! what reason would he have to want to talk to feuilly? but also, like... he did want to talk to feuilly--at the party, he’d talked to feuilly for hours, and he’s so smart and a little funny and he’d listen to Feuilly go on and on about slavic history and he hadn’t looked bored once, and just- Ah!!!! and he’s trying to figure out if it would be weird if he asked enjolras if he’d want to meet over coffee when he gets combeferre’s text. (it’s something like, enjolras just composed a letter trying to ask you if you’d want to hang out with him do you want to come over before he uses up all of my printer paper? and then, also, don’t tell him i told you about the letter he’s kind of freaked about making a good impression) and feuilly’s just like. :o

and both grantaire and bahorel see enjolras and feuilly embarking on this sweet, awkward, smart person friendship and they’re like. Oh Shit. They’re In Love With Each Other. Shit. because of course feuilly would fall in love with enjolras--feuilly’s too smart for bahorel, anyways, baz has always known that, and it makes sense that he’d fall for someone who can keep up with him. and of course enjolras would fall in love with feuilly--feuilly is kind and super smart and he knows all sorts of things about modern philosophy and he’s hot, okay, and enjolras is too smart for grantaire, anyways. ugh. baz and R get hammered and cry about it together, but the shitty thing is that they can’t even be too angry, because it’s so obvious.

meanwhile, enjolras and feuilly are across town talking about their stupid crushes on their hot beefy friends. commiserating, yanno? feuilly’s all “sometimes i wish i just kissed him that first day i met him, sometimes i wish i hooked up with him at that party, maybe he would have started liking me after” and enjolras is all “why does he never wear shirts with SLEEVES, i do not know what to DO with myself!!!”

and then one day feuilly and baz are hanging out and baz is like “haha grantaire has the biggest crush on enjolras” (because he can’t keep a secret to save his life.) and feuilly’s like.... “grantaire likes enjolras?” and baz is like “uh YEAH dude. DUH” and feuilly’s like. “that can’t be right--enjolras told me grantaire doesn’t like him back” and baz is like... “bACK?” and then he’s like “WAIT ENJOLRAS DOESN’T LIKE YOU?” and feuilly is like... no?

they realize that their friends are idiots. and they try to help, really, they do--feuilly keeps suggesting that maybe, maybe, enjolras can’t know that grantaire doesn’t like him if he’s never actually asked, and he keeps pointing out things that grantaire does that nobody actually does if they’re not totally gone for somebody; bahorel is straight up just like “R bro enjolras wants to be your boy so bad” and R is like I Am Electing Not To Listen To You.

and then-

and then, they all go out to a bar together. they get hammered, etc. etc. and they’re laughing about how grantaire and enjolras are oblivious, how could they not know that they like each other, everybody keeps telling them to go for it, and then-

hold on.

hold on, because- because that’s what everybody tells bahorel about feuilly. that he should just go for it. that maybe it’s not as hopeless as he thinks. and feuilly’s just sitting there, and he’s so fucking pretty, sometimes, honestly, and bahorel loves him so much, and he’s drunk, and he can’t stand not knowing even a second longer. 

[kaitlyn-writes]

Eddie Spaghetti

Eddie Spaghetti || Teen || 6,444

Overview: Richie Tozier wasn’t brave. He never had been. Not in fifth grade when he made it to third base with Jenny, not in eighth grade when they had fought IT, and definitely not now in his senior year, as he was forced to accept a secret he had kept even from himself.

A short R+E fic I wrote at three in the morning to ease my pain.

TW: Swearing, mentions of sex

“Eddie Spaghetti.”

“What, dickhead? And don’t call me that.”

Richie laughed as he pushed Eddie with his foot. He let himself fall back onto his bed from the force of the kick as Eddie’s tsks and tuts filled the space between them.

“As much as I love to sit in silence while you ignore me to make out with your schoolwork, I’m bored. Let’s do something.”

“Do what, bitch?” Eddie responded absentmindedly. He didn’t even bother looking up from his work. “I’ve got a lab report due next week and I’ll be damned if you make me fail it. Don’t-”

“E-d-d-i-e,” Richie annunciated.

The smaller boy drew his mouth into a thin line. In the fifteen years since they had known each other, this was one of the few times that Eddie held his tongue. He would never admit it, but the only time he ever did was if he already knew he would go along with whatever Richie proposed.

Richie had discovered that fact a few years ago. The only problem that came from knowledge that powerful was that it left Richie’s stomach in knots that he couldn’t quite explain. And that he couldn’t bring himself to fully take advantage of Eddie’s complacency.

So instead of saying, ‘Hey, my heart gets all funky when you scrunch up your nose and laugh at my jokes. I don’t really care what we do, I think I just want to make you smile forever.’ Richie proposed, “Let’s go get our dicks wet at the quarry.”

His voice came out much more confident than he felt.

“You want to go swimming in that dirty lake when we could go to Bill’s house and swim in his new pool.”

It wasn’t a question. It wasn’t a no.

“Obviously. That pool’s too tiny for my massive dong. I need room to breathe Eds!”

“You know you’re fucking disgusting.”

It still wasn’t a no.

Richie grabbed onto Eddie’s arm and pulled the best puppy eyes in the entire world. His lip quivered and he let his chest jump up in fake, strangled sobs.

“Ed, Eddie, please. Swimming!”

“Lab. Report.”

Eddie’s smile and his quick glance up to Richie’s face betrayed his reply.

“Swim. Ming.”

“Ming isn’t even a word, jackass. Fucking do your homework!”

Richie jumped from the bed with Eddie’s arm still held loosely in his grip. Eddie didn’t pull his arm back. He never did. That was another thing Richie had learned. He wiggled Eddie’s arm daintily, letting his grip loosen until Richie’s hand had moved to hold Eddie’s wrist.

Eddie was small. It was one of his most defining features. Right alongside being Too Fucking Cute and Really Fucking Annoying. Both in the best possible ways. But it was moments like these when Richie was forced to realize just how small Eddie actually was. With his fingers touching because his hands completely covered Eddie’s thin wrist. Eddie’s small smile tugged up to his small eyes, scrunched into a small scowl as he pretended not to want to agree with Richie’s request.

Eddie’s reply almost lost itself on its way to Richie’s ears.

“Hey, did you hear me? Or do I have to change my mind?”

Richie shook his head and dropped Eddie’s wrist. He moved his hand to his chest and bowed towards the door, drawing a sarcastic laugh from Eddie. Even that was enough.

They both took the steps two at a time, calling out to whoever would listen as they ran.

“Hey, going out for a bit, be back later. Don’t wait up and we’re taking our bikes! See ya!”

It wasn’t like anyone would have tried to stop them. Richie liked to think that his parents were just cool like that. And hey, maybe they really were.

Laughter filled the early fall air as the door snapped shut. Eddie, as reluctant as he was minutes ago, sprinted ahead of Richie and jumped onto his bike. He peddled across the sidewalk a few feet ahead by the time Richie made it to his bike.

If it was a race he wanted, by god, he’d get one.

The only problem with racing, they both already knew, was that they each knew every shortcut. They knew where the crowds were, where the path turned bumpy, where there was only enough room for one bike at a time. And if you made it to that part of the trail first, well, you pretty much won. But that never stopped them from trying.

By the time Eddie’s tires threw the dry earth into the air as he screeched to a stop, Richie had already leaned his bike against their tree. Yes, their tree. The winning tree.

Eddie’s bike fell into the dirt and he threw his hands into the air in defeat. His fingers spread to the heavens as his eyes rolled back in his skull. He opened his mouth as wide as it would go and shouted, “Un-be-lievable!”

He stomped forwards, letting his words get lost in Richie’s laughter.

“You almost killed that old woman! You know she probably dropped her groceries, might have even broken her hip. If she was a witch and she cursed me I’m taking you down with me.”

“Edward Sphaghettward, I curse he and thee-” Richie started.

He knew Eddie wasn’t actually mad, no matter how hard he tried to hide his smile. Even though Eddie wasn’t actually mad, he still grabbed onto Richie’s shirt and narrowed his eyes, backing them both to the cliff’s edge.

Richie didn’t exactly try and stop the advance, though. He walked backwards as effortlessly as Eddie pressed forwards. It wasn’t until they stilled a few steps from the edge that Richie realized he hadn’t finished his joke. He had started to notice that happening a lot recently. No matter how often Eddie stole the words from his mouth, Richie still found himself surprised by it.

He found himself wondering what it meant, too. What it meant for his loudmouth self to fall speechless. But that was always something he thought of later. Never in the moment. In the moment he thought about other things. Like now, for instance. With Eddie’s ‘angry’ expression staring up at him, inches from his face, as he gripped Richie’s shirt in his fist. Richie’s mind thought a lot of things.

Currently, his main thought was, ‘What would it be like if I hit my forehead against Eddie’s right now?’ Well, not hit, necessarily. If he just clunked his forehead against Eddie’s and let it rest there as they stared into each other’s eyes, what would it be like? He swallowed hard.

Richie opened his mouth again to try and cover the blush he thought he felt in his cheeks. He couldn’t believe his stupid brain still thought it felt embarrassed around Eddie. He’d never been embarrassed around Eddie in his life. So why-

“Shut up,” Eddie interrupted before Richie could even make a sound. “I hate you.”

Richie blinked. A smile spread across his face, but he wasn’t completely sure why.

“I hate you. I’m jumping.”

Eddie let go of his shirt, took two giant steps, and lept from the cliff.

Richie swore as he moved past him that Eddie’s face was covered in blush too, but it had all happened so fast that he wasn’t quite sure. Besides, he had been lost in his own head. He had blushed. He could have just imagined it on Eddie too.

What would that mean if he hadn’t imagined it?

Richie plunged down after Eddie. The water stung as he crashed into the pool but the feeling in his chest from the drop was enough to even out the pain.

“My dick feels so free!” he yelled as his head broke the surface.

Almost instantly, his mouth filled with water as Eddie splashed him for his comment. They both laughed, though. It couldn’t have been too bad.

Richie lunged forwards and caught Eddie’s shoulders, leaning his hair back into the water. It had already been soaked from the jump, but Eddie still pretended to be offended.

Time lost meaning as they swam. Neither noticed that their hands had turned to prunes or that their stomachs had shriveled to nothing or that the sun had started to caress the tips of the trees. They were too busy laughing. Too busy living.

Richie wasn’t sure how he managed to do it, but Eddie ended up on his shoulders at some point. No one else was there to play chicken with them. Eddie’s free ride was some sort of silent agreement neither of them were aware of making. But neither one complained.

In the end, Eddie was the first to point out the sun. The water had turned an even darker shade than normal as shadows crept over them. Richie had known for a while that they should have left—he was sure Eddie had known too—but he didn’t want to be the one to end their fun. Eddie could be the party pooper.

Reluctantly, they both pulled themselves out of the water and dripped their way back up the cliff.

“I can’t believe you didn’t bring any towels,” Eddie huffed.

“You could have grabbed some too, ya know. I’m not the only one with hands!”

“Yeah, but it’s your house. And it was your idea to swim and sabotage my entire future by skipping on my lab report.”

“Fine.” Richie stopped in the middle of the trail and hung his head, forcing Eddie to turn with a reluctant smile and watch Richie’s performance. “Eds, I hereby humbly apologize for ruining your whole future forever by forcing you to come on this epic day of fun instead of finishing your boring lab report a week and a half before it’s even due.”

“Come on, drama queen,” Eddie laughed. “If we hurry, I might be able to sleep over. I just need enough time to tell my Mom first.”

Richie’s insides flipped at the mention of Eddie’s mother. Or maybe it was from him offering to sleep over at his house.

“Oh, no need to tell your mom. She can come too. My bed might be able to hold us both. You can take the rug, of course.”

Eddie deliberately doubled back just to smack Richie on the back of his head.

They walked a bit more in silence. Richie found himself lost in his head again, thinking about the feeling of Eddie’s hand against his head. Thinking about what it might feel like if Eddie let his hand linger a moment. Thinking-

“Where’s your head at? You’ve been quiet for like, five whole minutes. That’s got to be some kind of record.”

Eddie’s voice snapped Richie out of his haze but left him somewhere worse. What exactly was he supposed to say? ‘I was thinking about your hand in my hand, Spagheds.’ Fuck no. That’s… weird. Eddie would definitely think so.

Richie never got to think of a reply before Eddie cut in again.

“What are you thinking about right now? I swear to god if you hesitate a second before you answer I’m throwing your bike in the water.”

“My massive dick,” Richie answered in a flash.

It was an obvious lie, that much was clear to both of them, but Richie would be damned if he lost his bike. No bike meant no riding with Eddie. Between school, their parents, the other Losers, and every other damn obstacle in their god-forsaken town, Richie wasn’t about to voluntarily let anything else take time away from his best friend.

“Then I’m thinking about motherfucking Ben,” Eddie snapped in response.

It was too dark to see Eddie’s face, but Richie didn’t need to see him to tell that he was pissed.

“Was- er, were you thinking about Ben?”

“Obviously fucking not, Rich.”

The sound of crunching leaves filled the now heavy silence between them. It was so sudden. So stupid. But of course, Richie’s stupid mouth fell quiet again at the worse fucking time. Always around Eddie. Always when he never wanted to stop talking.

“Hey,” Richie heard himself say.

He’d thought it—he’d thought out an entire conversation, actually—but he never planned on following through with actually saying anything. It was too late to turn back now, though. Neither of them stopped walking, but Eddie turned his head questioningly, expecting Richie to continue.

“I’m, uh, sorry if I did something. Or said something. And I’m not being weird, or, I’m not trying to, but- are you angry with me? And not like, playful angry, but actually snappy and pissed. I know this is stupid girly shit and it’s so weird that I’m even bringing this up because it seems like it happened so suddenly and maybe I’m reading too much into it but I don’t want you to be angry with me and we’re almost up the hill and then we’ll be on our bikes and if we’re riding we can’t talk and-”

Eddie’s sigh calmed the fear beating against Richie’s chest. “Fucking breathe, jesus christ.”

He did. It was deep and ragged and completely out of character. He drew in a breath and let it out as he fell silent again. He wasn’t a sap. That was Ben’s shtick. Bill too. But not him. He hated the way this felt in his head and his heart and his pulse.

They rounded the corner to the top of the cliff in silence. The silence held as they grabbed onto their bikes. He knew he shouldn’t have said anything. Richie swung his legs over his seat and turned to look at Eddie. It was a good thing he did.

Eds hadn’t gotten on his bike yet. Instead, he held it in a death grip as he stared at the ground. They were high enough now that the last of the sun’s rays danced across Eddie’s face, highlighting the lines of frustration that drew across his forehead.

Something inside Richie pulled him to ask what was wrong. To drop his bike and comfort his friend. But something else held him back.

They spent a few more minutes filled with silence before Eddie finally looked up. Richie’s heart skipped a beat as they locked eyes. Feelings were fucking stupid.

“Rich, I wasn’t thinking about Ben.”

“Yeah, we established tha-”

“You weren’t thinking about your dick.”

“It’s hard not to think about.”

“I will throw you back in the fucking sewer with that fucking clown I swear to you-”

“Okay, okay,” Richie laughed softly. “Look, I uh-”

“Do you think I’m brave?”

The question completely caught him off guard. How could he not be brave?

‘Eddie, loud mouthed, witty, unapologetic, I broke my arm, mouthed off to my abusive overprotective mother, faced every fear I’ve ever had, killed a fucking clown, ditched his homework to jump off a cliff into some dirty lake water, Kaspbrak. That fucking Eddie somehow thinks he’s not brave?’

They both sat on their bikes now, staring at each other. Eddie nodded his head thoughtfully and it took a second for Richie to realize that he had said all of that out loud. That definitely wasn’t what he had intended. How many times had he done that before?

Eddie eased himself onto his pedals and slowly pushed off from the ground. He crept by Richie as the sun fully dipped below the trees and said quietly, “I want to be brave.”

His soft voice left butterflies in Richie’s stomach. It was the stupidest fucking thing. He hated when that happened. Except he didn’t hate it. Eddie was so fucking brave. Richie on the other hand, he could act brave, but none of it was true. He was a coward, and of course, it would be Eddie who made him realize that fact.

Eddie. Who made Richie feel like the bravest and the most cowardly person in existence. Eddie, who tugged at Richie’s mind almost every minute of every day. Eddie, who- fuck. FUCK. Fuck fuck fuck. Shit.

Richie’s heart nearly beat out of his chest. His sweat covered palms slipped as he struggled to keep his grip on his bike handles.

What the actual genuine motherfucking fuck. Why did he realize this now? It took him four years. Four fucking years to come to this realization. It terrified him. Richie was almost scared to even acknowledge the thought. If he did, that might make it too real. He wasn’t brave enough for that. Fuck.

Richie bolted ahead of Eddie at top speed. He barely heard Eddie’s angry, “Hey!” called out behind him, but he didn’t stop. Not until they both rolled up to Eddie’s porch, panting and heaving.

Somehow Richie managed to even his breathing long enough to say, “Can’t stay over tonight, forgot, I’ve got a thing. Sorry. See you tomorrow!” and pedal away.

He left Eddie, soaked and panting on his front porch with no further explanation, but in the moment, he couldn’t have given one. And of course, he’d said, ‘see you tomorrow,’ because even in this mess, even in his fear, he couldn’t stay away. Fuck.

Somehow it felt like both an eternity and only a second had passed when Richie finally skidded to a stop outside Stan’s house. He tripped over his handlebar as he jumped from his ride and sprinted to the doorstep.

He took a second to compose himself, prepared his best voice and his most proper manners to convince Stan’s father to let him in, and knocked.

Shuffling came from the other side of the door after another eternity of waiting and it finally creaked open.

“Mr. Uris, hello. I’m sorry to bother you at such a late hour but I have to talk to Stan. Now.”

He spoke too quickly, too urgently, he knew that. But his mind was moving at a bajillion miles per hour and he couldn’t calm himself down if he tried.

“Richard, of course. I’m sorry, but it’s a school night and Stanley has already gone to bed. I’m sure your talk can wait until morning.”

He moved to shut the door, but Richie wedged his foot in the crack just in time to feel his toes crunch in his shoes. Mr. Uris looked shocked. Richie fought back a swear and forced a smile onto his face as Mr. Uris pulled back the door, releasing Richie’s foot.

“Please, I forgot we have a project due tomorrow and if I don’t talk to him now, I could realistically die. I’m completely serious,” he added after Mr. Uris gave him a strange look.

“I will make sure and have him up early, but I’m afraid tonight just won’t work. Goodnight, Richie.”

He cursed softly as the door fully shut and the hall light snapped off: A clear signal for him to Fuck Off. Or it would be if Richie didn’t know which window was Stan’s.

After a few minutes of waiting, or maybe it had only been a few seconds, Richie doubled back into the landscape and dug out the biggest rock he could find. He wound his arm back, aimed, and tossed it gently against Stan’s window. Except it wasn’t as gentle as Richie had anticipated. Actually, it wasn’t gentle at all. The rock completely shattered the window, spraying the room with shards of glass.

Richie cringed as he stared up at the mess. A war raged in his mind as to whether or not he should run. But before he could make the decision for himself, Stan appeared at the scene of the crime. He held the rock in his hand, aimed down at the ground below as a fire blazed in his eyes. He had been fully prepared to attack whoever had assaulted his window until he saw it was Richie.

Realizing it was his friend only made him want to throw it more. And he did.

The rock missed Richie by a few feet, but only because he knew Stan hadn’t aimed properly. He leaned out his window and half shouted, half whispered, “What the hell was that for?”

“I have to talk to you right now or I’ll die, and your dad wouldn’t let me in the house!” Richie shout-whispered back.

“So you break my fucking window?”

“I’m going to fucking die, man! Right now! Talk!”

“All you ever do is talk...”

Stain pulled his head back inside and disappeared. Richie tapped his foot impatiently. He rocked back and forth, spun in circles, paced. He did basically everything ever because Staniel was the slowest person on earth. But finally, the door creaked open, then shut, and Stan joined him on his lawn.

“What t-”

“Stan, I think I’m gay.”

The words fell from his mouth before he could even give them an ounce of thought. It was lucky he even managed to say it, but it hadn’t been far from his intended reveal.

“Okay...” Stan trailed into silence with a look on his face that screamed, ‘is that all?’ and frankly, Richie was offended.

“Okay? That’s all you have to say? Why aren’t you freaking out? I’m freaking out! I’m about to have a motherfucking heart attack on your lawn!”

Stanley’s face softened suddenly, and he cut Richie off before his rambling could go any further. That was part of the reason Richie went to him over any of his other friends. Stan knew how and when to shut him the fuck up.

“Wait, you’re being serious right now?”

“Yes, I’m being serious! I’m having a crisis, a gay crisis, and I don’t know what to do! I don’t even know if I am, but-”

“Oh my god. Okay, I’m going to bite my tongue on a lot right now but just let me get one thing off my chest.” Stanley took a deep breath and looked Richie dead in the eyes. A dopey smile plastered his face. “You’re just finding this out now?”

Richie’s mouth had already opened, anticipating nearly every possible response but the one Stan had just given. His mouth snapped shut out of confusion before he tried again.

“What do you mean?”

“Rich, you’ve been making googly eyes at Eddie for the past five years!”

“You mean goo goo eyes?”

Richie realized Stan’s bait too little too late. He had already fallen into the trap of asking, so that was on him. It was stupid. Barely even a joke. But it did help calm him, somehow.

“See! If it wasn’t true you would’ve thrown a joke there.” His tone suddenly turned more serious, though it still held the kind support Richie craved. “So, it is Eddie?”

“Yeah… I guess it always has been.”

“What made you realize now?”

A sigh escaped Richie’s throat as he tilted his head back, staring up into the stars. Where to even begin.

“I took Eddie swimming like, five minutes ago-”

“You realized this five fucking minutes ago?!”

“Shut up, I’m going through atonement here. Yeah. I’ve been thinking about stuff for a while. Not like, whether or not I like guys, but just the way Eddie makes me feel. It’s warm and jittery and happy and sick and all these weird conflicting emotions that ball up in my chest and my head and-”

“Rich.”

“Yeah, sorry. Anyway, we swam and Eddie asked me if he was brave. Then I thought a bunch of stuff in my head that I guess I accidentally said out loud. Nothing weird, just basically, ‘Yeah, Eddie. You’re super brave and here’s a ton of reasons why!’,” Richie said, accompanied by a terrible Eddie impression. He cleared his throat and continued. “That got me thinking about how I really do think he’s brave. But I’m not brave. But Eddie makes me feel like I’m brave, and I’m always thinking about him, and he gives me butterflies, and the best part of my entire day is getting to make him smile. It all just kinda hit me. I think I’m gay. And I think I have a crush on Eddie.”

Stan rested a hand on Richie’s shoulder. He understood. Aside from Eddie—which, now he was technically a crush, so could he really even count?—Stan was Richie’s closest friend. That meant they knew each other. He knew what Richie needed.

“It’s gonna be okay. Did you talk to Eddie about it?”

“Obviously not, that’s why I’m here or I’d be...”

Richie wanted to make a joke. He wanted to say, ‘Or I’d be back sucking his dick.’ but he had no clue how Eddie would react to Richie’s confession and it seemed wrong to joke about something that could potentially ruin his entire life. Richie wasn’t even sure himself as to what he wanted. He had liked girls in the past. Or at least, he thought he had. But now that this realization had struck him, there was no denying that he liked Eddie. He really liked Eddie. He just didn’t know how any of this worked. It sucked.

“This is going to eat you alive if you don’t talk to him.”

Stan interrupted Richie at the perfect time even when he was trapped in his own head. He almost wanted to hug him.

“Thanks, Stan.” Richie pulled his bike from the ground and jumped onto the seat. Stan’s confused expression drew a smile across Richie’s. “If I think too much it’ll never get it done so I’m going to go talk to him while I’m still riding the Stan high. Make sure tomorrow at school I’ve said something!”

“Wait, Richie, not tonight! His mom-”

“Yeah, I’ll confess my love for her too!” he shouted back over his shoulder.

Just like that, he was gone. He’d apologize to Mr. Uris about the broken window later. Now, he had more important things to attend to.

If Richie didn’t think Stanley would call him out in front of the rest of their friends for not talking to Eddie, he would have ridden straight home and panicked in silence for the rest of the night. But Stan would Absolutely do that. And Richie had promised. So here he was, stopped in front of Eddie’s porch, again, for the second time tonight. It couldn't have been much more than an hour since he left, but that didn’t matter right now. It couldn’t.

Richie’s heart pounded as he threw a pebble against Eddie’s window. He was careful this time not to shatter the glass, but breaking it proved much more effective. It took Richie nearly ten tries before he finally got Eddie’s attention.

He looked angry as he leaned out into the cool air. His freshly showered hair stuck to his forehead.

“What do you want? I thought you had a thing?”

“I did. Thing’s over now. Can we talk?”

Eddie’s face scrunched in concern. He almost pulled his head back inside but thought better of it. It was like a breath of fresh air and a punch in the git when he nodded hurriedly and waved Richie inside.

Scaling the tree that branched to Eddie’s window barely took a second, or maybe it took forever. Either way, once he finally stepped inside and Eddie quietly lowered the glass behind him, time stopped completely.

“How was your thing?” Eddie asked in annoyance.

“You know. It was a thing.”

Perfect. Eddie stole his fucking voice again. They stood for a bit in complete silence until they both rushed to speak at the same time.

“I thi-”

“Rich, I-”

They shared an awkward laugh. The next minute was spent arguing over who should talk first, until Eddie finally drew himself up to his full height—which barely reached Richie’s nose—and demanded that Richie talk. It was the first time he had ever heard someone ask him to talk. Usually it was the opposite.

“Okay,” Richie started with a shaky sigh. “I, uh, hate talking about feelings and junk. That’s girly and weird. And I’m not that, but I- I wanted to say that, well, to talk about- I wanted you to know that I realized, maybe, I think-” Richie swore under his breath and muttered, “God, I sound worse than Bill,” before he forced himself to continue. “Gay. That’s- I think I’m gay. That’s it.”

That wasn’t it. But even just saying that took too much effort. So for now, that was it.

Silence filled the room again. It grew heavier with every passing second, but Eddie never looked angry.

For the first time in his life, Richie stayed voluntarily quiet. To add another first, he prayed. He didn’t even pray that Eddie liked him back. Just that he wouldn’t hate him. That they could still be friends.

“What about Jenny? Sixth grade?” Eddie finally asked.

Richie couldn’t help but laugh. The outburst brought a smile to Eddie’s face and for a second, Richie let himself hope.

“Well, I liked her then. Or, I thought I did. I thought that was the best day of my life for a really long time-” Eddie’s face fell suddenly and Richie quickly changed the subject. “But now I don’t know if I actually did like her or not. It might have been an in the moment thing. But if it wasn’t- I don’t know if you can like both. But I know now I’ve got a crush on a guy. Like, it’s definitely a crush, and so I think I might be...”

He trailed off into silence again. Eddie sat down at the end of his bed and nodded his head slowly.

“You can like both, dipshit,” he said quietly.

Richie mimicked Eddie’s actions, nodding his head slowly. He barely registered the playful insult.

He guessed that made sense. You could like chocolate and vanilla, so why not girls and guys? That made sense...

“What were you going to say?” he asked eventually.

Eddie swallowed nervously and shifted his weight on his bed.

“I uh, I don’t like both. That’s what I was going to say. Guys and girls. I don’t like both.”

It took a second for Eddie’s confession to fully register. By the time it did, Richie had never been gladder in his entire life that he held his tongue. He might have confessed a dark secret and ruined their friendship, but at least he hadn’t admitted to having a crush on Eddie specifically.

After Richie failed to respond, Eddie finally broke the long spell of silence. “I only like guys.”

Richie continued nodding his head until Eddie’s words finally clicked into place. When they did, Richie’s entire nervous system shut down. He froze mid nod, his eyes staring at the carpet. His eyes shifted up slowly, afraid of what they might see. When gaze finally met, Richie saw nothing but warmth.

He found himself smiling without even having let it happen. A warm, nervous feeling filled his chest.

“Yeah?” Richie asked breathlessly.

Eddie laughed in response. “Yeah.”

“So, uh, how long have you known?”

“It was about five years ago when I really accepted it,” Eddie confessed. “But I think I knew when I was a lot younger. You?”

“About an hour ago.”

He hadn’t meant to admit that, but his brain wasn’t exactly working on his terms right now.

Eddie’s eyebrows raised in a crease, and he drew his head back in shock. His face had turned redder than a tomato. He tried to play it off by looking up at the ceiling and ignoring Richie. It worked about as well as he expected it to.

“I didn’t mean-” Richie started, but Eddie cut him off.

“You made me realize I was gay.”

Silence was the theme of the night. The only plus was that each time it fell over them, it felt better than the last.

“Really?”

Richie’s breathy reply filled with more hope than wanted to allow, but at this point he didn’t care.

“Yeah. It was that year when everyone hit puberty all at once-”

“Fifth fucking grade,” Richie groaned.

He nodded his head and closed his eyes. It felt good to fall back into his jokes.

“Yeah, fifth fucking grade is right. Everyone else got crushes and went off and had sex and… I just wanted to hang out with you. I was just, don’t fuck with me for this, I thought I was a late bloomer.”

Richie snorted but Eddie’s sharp glare set him on his best behavior. He threw himself onto the bed by Eddie’s pillows and propped himself onto his arm, ready to hang on Eddie’s every word.

“I thought maybe I was broken, or I hadn’t actually hit puberty. Then one day we had a stupid science project and we came here to work on it.” Eddie paused to deepen his blush. “We got it done really fast and I still wanted to hang out, so we laid around and read comics for a while-”

“Wait, I think I remember that-” Richie interrupted, but Eddie cut him off again.

“You got bored and you’re an asshole, so you gave me a wet willy and I wrestled you for payback...”

Eddie trailed off but he didn’t need to finish the story. Richie remembered exactly what happened.

He was bigger than Eddie, he always had been. So, when Eddie had tried to retaliate with a wet willy of his own, Richie didn’t shy away from proving his strength. Eddie had pushed Richie playfully into the wall, but he flipped their roles like it was nothing.

They struggled for a bit, but Richie only let it draw on so Eddie wouldn’t feel bad. Richie ended up on top of him, pressing his wrists down into the mattress as he let out a triumphant laugh. Eddie’s face had flushed red from the exertion of fighting him, but looking back, there might have been another reason for his scarlet appearance.

The electricity in Richie’s chest might not have just been from his victory.

“This one guy in our grade made me realize,” Richie sighed dramatically. He let a dreamy look fall over his face as his gaze rose to meet Eddie’s. He was surprised when he thought he saw Eddie’s face hold a glint of anger. “He’s about yay high-” Richie held his hand to his nose. “Dark eyes, darker hair, and the only wit in the world to rival my own. Oh, and he’s the cutest motherfucker in the entire world.”

Richie’s heart raced just having those thoughts rattle inside his head, let alone saying them out loud. An hour and a half ago he had forced himself to come to terms with the fact that he liked guys. That he liked Eddie. Now, somehow he found the courage to speak his heart. This was all way too much and he loved it.

“What the fuck, dick for brains?”

Richie snapped out of his euphoric daze and stared at Eddie in confusion.

“What?”

“Dude? I just confessed to having a lifelong crush on you and you sit here and tell me about some other guy that gave you a hard on? What the fuck?”

How on earth could he have fallen in love with the stupidest person in existence. ‘Love?’ That was a thought for another day.

Richie couldn’t help but laugh. He rolled forward and grabbed onto Eddie’s knee, pulling himself into a sitting position so he could lean against the wall. Really, he did it to lean closer to Eddie. Now, more than ever, all he wanted to do was be close to him.

“It’s you, Eds. You’re my fucking crush.”

His gentle voice calmed Eddie’s rage. It took a moment, but Eddie finally laughed. His blush turned soft as a smile stretched dimples into his cheeks.

Richie wasn’t sure how long they laid in bed and laughed. It felt like forever. Like no time at all. He never wanted it to end. But when it finally did, they were both leaned against the wall, an arm or hand keeping their skull from throbbing against the hard plaster. Their heads were close. Barely inches apart. That’s what finally stilled their laughter. Proximity.

“You smell like the fucking lake,” Eddie finally whispered.

Laughter was their new theme. It was much better than silence, but the threat of it never left. Richie held his breath as their giggles faded. It was his turn to break it.

“Can I kiss you?” he whispered.

Richie wasn’t brave. He never had been. But he was learning pretty quickly how to change that.

Eddie nodded without a moment’s hesitation and then they had both leaned in. Nothing existed but Eddie.

It was slow at first, both hesitant to move out of fear or nervousness or whatever the fuck. But the second Richie’s cold, chapped lips pressed against Eddie’s smooth ones, he felt starved. He needed to kiss Eddie, more than he had ever needed anything else in his life. And fuck, he was gay.

Richie pushed back against Eddie needily. He had barely enough sense to put his hand in Eddie’s hair before his head slammed into the wall. His hair was still damp from his shower, but it was soft and short and shit it felt so nice.

Eddie kissed him back just as hungrily. They pulled each other closer, nothing but a mess of limbs and tongues.

The second Eddie parted his lips and tugged at Richie’s curls; Richie was gone. His tongue pulled a moan from Richie’s throat. Eddie swallowed it as Richie tipped his head down and deepened their kiss.

Richie suddenly pulled back and threw his lips against Eddie’s cheek. Then his jaw, and his chin, and his neck. His fucking neck. He had to hold a hand against Eddie’s mouth to stop his moaning.

He could stay in this moment forever. Terrifying and new and fucking euphoric. But he knew he couldn’t let himself. Not now. As much as he wanted to.

Richie drew his tongue up Eddie’s neck, savoring his freshly washed taste and the sounds his mouth pulled from him.

“Is it okay if we wait?” Richie panted.

His chest heaved with every breath he took and damn if he didn’t want to keep going. But he needed to think. And Eddie needed to breathe. And they had all the time in the world.

“Yeah,” Eds responded breathlessly. “Yeah, whatever you want. Yeah.”

Richie leaned in and kissed him again, softly. He pulled Eddie down on top of him as they fell back into the mound of pillows.

They laid together in Eddie’s twin bed, holding each other close. Richie wasn’t going anywhere. And Eddie didn’t want him to.

Richie’s mind hadn’t been still since the second he had learned to think. But right now, in this moment, only one thought filled his mind.

‘Stan should have told me I was gay years ago.’

[fuwafuwagem]

Bloom Chapter 1 - Yu-hwa

Just for you lovelies that may not have discovered it on Archive of Our Own, here is the first chapter of my Mystic Messenger fic Bloom, featuring my baby my OC Yu-hwa Lee ^^

You can find the ongoing fic here. I am updating regularly and have chapters prepared to upload, so I won’t leave you hanging ^^

Hope you enjoy it! The first chapter preview is under the cut <3

TW for sexual threats and references.

Yu-hwa Lee sat in her favourite seat at the café close to her apartment block, nursing the cheapest thing on the menu; a small white tea. It wasn’t as good as the coffee her body craved, but it was all her purse would allow her to have. She flicked through the pages of the application form she had on the table in front of her. There was no way she was qualified for a job at C&R, but it was the only place she could find that was currently hiring, and she was getting desperate.

She filled in a few basic details; name, date of birth. Address? She sighed. The landlord was on the verge of kicking her out.

This is depressing.

She put down her pen and picked up her phone. The notification icon showed that she had one new email, and she prayed to all the gods she could think of that it was a job offer.

You have been invited to test out…

She sighed, quickly scrolling through the message. It looked like junk mail, but she thought that maybe it was something she could get paid to do. At the end of the message was a link, which she pressed hoping that it wasn’t a virus.

Installing…

Oh shit!

She closed the email, hoping that it would stop whatever she had just started, but when she checked her phone menu she saw a new icon was installed there. She knew that she should probably delete it immediately, but curiosity got the better of her. She opened the app.

A chat room opened.

Unknown: Hi! Finally, someone to talk to, thank god…

Yu-hwa bit her lip and tugged at a strand of her dyed pink hair nervously. Unknown? Is this a chat-bot? These things seem to be popular lately.Tentatively, she typed her reply.

Yu-hwa: Hello

Unknown: Hi. Nice to meet you ^^ Yu-hwa… I’ve been waiting for you. Hope I didn’t surprise you. Don’t be nervous, I’m just an ‘ordinary’ person~

Yu-hwa felt her blood turn cold. The app must have accessed her personal data as her name and profile were displayed for Unknown to see. But what did he mean by he’d been waiting for her, and…

Yu-hwa: Why are you emphasizing the word ordinary…? It’s making me even more nervous

Unknown: You’re funny lol

Yu-hwa sighed and sipped her tea. Funny? Yeah, my whole life is a joke. She looked back at her phone. She knew that she should probably leave the chat before he asked her to send nudes or something, but she was a little curious too as she continued to read his message.

Unknown: But I can’t really say I’m extraordinary when I’m introducing myself. Shouldn’t I be humble and modest?

Yu-hwa couldn’t help but smile. She wasn’t the only comedian.

Unknown: In fact… I’m really excited. Cuz the first person to come in is you, Yu-hwa!

She cringed again at her name being used by this stranger she knew nothing about. He was being too familiar.

Unknown: I was so worried that no one would come in as I was making this app.

Yu-hwa’s eyes widened. So this guy is the apps creator? That explains some things I guess. She tapped at her phone.

Yu-hwa: What’s this app for?

Unknown: I was about to explain, but before that, can I ask a favour?

Yu-hwa inhaled. Have we finally arrived on Planet Perv? Her thumb hovered over the exit chat button.

Unknown: I know that it’s too much to ask from a stranger, but there’s something I really want you to help me with.

She chewed on her lower lip, moving her thumb and typing-

Yu-hwa: What is it?

She glanced at the application form in front of her. A few white lies might get her to the interview stage, but how far could her personality carry her? She rubbed her forehead as she felt the stress headache beginning to build, then glanced back at her phone.

Unknown: Well… This app isn’t just a messenger app, it’s a messenger game app. I wanted to ask if you could test it out for me. Game concept is chatting with pretty guys ^^

Yu-hwa: Why don’t you test it out yourself?

She didn’t have time for playing a game. She needed to find a job.

Unknown: It’s difficult to gain an objective view because I’m the creator. I want to know what others think of this!

He was persistent, but Yu-hwa knew she didn’t have the time. I just need to politely decline when I get the chance.

Unknown: The chats aren’t everything. There are also hidden stories… Amusing stories that will stir your imagination!

He’s really trying hard. She drank down the rest of her tea as she looked at the image of the characters he sent her. Cute, but not real. She rolled her eyes. I can’t keep a real boyfriend, I’m not going to spend my time chatting to artificial ones!

Yu-hwa: No thanks. Not my style.

She winced as she realised how harsh she might be coming across, but she was starting to get tired of the conversation.

Unknown: Just a little… Couldn’t you try it out for just a little? Decide whether it’s your style or not after trying it out.

She frowned. He seemed so desperate. She hoped that he wasn’t in a similar situation to her. Just imagining such a thing made her heart ache.

Yu-hwa: Fine. I’ll try it out.

Unknown: WOW! Thanks You’re a lifesaver… ^^

I hope you don’t mean that literally, she thought.

Unknown: I think it’ll be better to talk over the phone about the details.

The waitress took away Yu-hwa’s empty cup. “Anything else?”

“Um… no,” said Yu-hwa. Her purse was empty.

“It’s just… we have paying customers…”

“I get it,” Yu-hwa sighed. “I’m going.” She grabbed her belongings and rushed out of the café, red-faced. She glanced at her phone as she began to walk home.

Unknown: Don’t freak out when you see an unknown number and answer the phone plz ^^

The phone instantly started to ring. Yu-hwa inhaled deeply, her anxiety peaking. She closed her eyes and pressed answer

“Hey.”

The voice on the line was soft, but she could hear the excitement in his tone.

“Hi, umm, how did you know my number?” Yu-hwa asked.

“It’s automatically collected when you log-on to the messenger,” replied Unknown. There was an awkward pause. “Oh ummm, don’t get me wrong. It’s only dialable within the messenger app.”

Yu-hwa sighed. It was a relief to know that all she had to do was delete the app and she would never hear from him again. But there was something about his gentle voice that she liked. She kept listening.

“As I mentioned in the chat room, I called to explain to you about this app.”

Yu-hwa rolled her eyes. The sales pitch.

Unknown explained the concept of the game, which was chatting to the characters he had created and becoming the party coordinator of a fundraising group called R.F.A.

“It’ll be much faster to understand by playing, instead of listening to all this,” he said eventually. “Oh, but the game hasn’t been released yet. To perform the tests, you have to come over here.”

Yu-hwa pressed her lips together tightly. Yes of course random stranger I’ve talked to for five minutes. I’ll trust you not to do who knows what to me. Of course I’ll come over, pop the kettle on!

“Just send me the file,” she said, trying to remain polite.

Unknown sighed. “Sorry,” he said. “It’s protected by a date leak prevention security system. Even if you download the file, it’s uninstallable. I need to directly install it to your smartphone. Please understand. And I also want to meet you in person before you play the game.”

Yu-hwa gripped her bag, feeling uncomfortable. He was insistent, so she knew that she had to be firm. “No, I’ll just pass.” She didn’t know why she felt so bad saying it. The guy was being weird, and he was a complete stranger. But she had also sensed a desperation in him, something that was all too familiar to her.

“Why?” Unknown whined. “Weren’t you interested? It’s an app just for you where you can chat with pretty guys. Others can’t play this. Only you can.”

Pretty guys? They’re more trouble than they’re worth, and I can do without!

“It’s not even real,” she said firmly. “I’m not going.”

“For real?” His voice was filled with sorrow and disbelief. “Then how about this? If you come here and test the game, someone real might be interested in you. For example, me.”

This is pathetic.

“I don’t need it. No thanks.”

“You don’t need me?” He sounded broken. “Ha, haha… haha… Sad. I’m so sad…”

Yu-hwa felt her heart pounding. He was crying. Was he so desperate?

“I really believed you were going to make my dream come true… Believed you were the one I would go to paradise with…”

Yu-hwa reached her apartment and pulled out her key just as the landlord stuck his head out of his door. He’d clearly been waiting for her.

“Paradise?” she sighed.

“The place I was trying to take you to,” said Unknown, his voice soft but filled with sadness. “That place is paradise. Where there’s no pain or sadness, just endless happiness. I’m the angel that will lead you there. You’ve let go of my hand… but don’t worry. I don’t plan to let you go just yet.”

The landlord stood beside her, breathing down her neck.

“Rent’s due,” he said as she pushed the door open.

“I want to see what kind of face you’ll make when you’ve truly been saved. I want to see it with my own two eyes.”

The landlord snatched the phone out of Yu-hwa’s hand and hung up.

“Hey,” she gasped as he shoved it back at her.

“I said your rent’s due,” he snapped. “Actually, it was due last week, but I let you off because you’re cute. Now I want my money.”

Yu-hwa bit her lip, muted.

“Fuck, you don’t have it?” he asked, then smirked. “There are other ways of paying,” he said as he advanced on her. “It’s been a while since I got my cock wet.” He stepped back. “Think about it. You give me head, you get to keep a roof over yours.” He laughed as he left, slamming the door shut behind him.

Yu-hwa hurried and locked the door, collapsing on the floor in tears.

[rilesandlucas]

WORK IN PROGRESS-RUCAS|Five|Plans

 T H I R D. Lucas woke up with a throbbing wrist and a feeling like he wanted to vomit. He looked around and saw the purple walls and remembered everything. He instantly wanted nothing more than to curl back up into a burrito in her bed and forget the problems but a knock at the door stopped him. He groaned as his eyes met Zay's hesitant ones.  Zay tip toed into the room and handed Lucas a Tea with honey in it. He plopped down beside him and rotated him self from one side to another. Zay stared at Lucas until he finally crashed under the pressure and talked. 'Look Lucas. I know it's a rough time but I don't think it's gonna hurt to go on medication again. You've been having these anger and anxiety outbursts and I just think-' 'No.' Lucas bellowed cutting Zay off. Zay flinched a little but never lost his composure as he stared down his best friend. 'Be in the living room in 10. We're all going to the hospital.' Zay muttered before standing up and walking towards the door. He looked back at Lucas who was rubbing his wrist and drinking his tea before he turned around and went to the living room. --------------------------------- Time moved quite quickly for Lucas as he put a bandage around his wrist and tried to freshen up as much as he could. He didn't know he was going to spend the night here but much preferred it to the lonely abyss Lucas usually called home. As he stumbled out Riley's door his leg made contact with someone. He looked down and saw none other than Riley's brother, Auggie Matthews. 'Lucas right.' Auggie spoke with confidence looking up to the man who was almost triple his height. Lucas smiled at his similarity to Riley and shook the little mans hand. 'Auggie doggie Matthews?' He asked in a jokingly questioning tone and Auggie nodded before grabbing his hand and pulling him into his room. Auggie pulled up a tiny kids Chair and Lucas configured himself as best he could. Lucas had quickly taken a liking to Auggie. Most kids, and basically everyone, feared Lucas because of his demeanour and facade if you will. But Auggie was just happy Lucas was a person that actually didn't look at him with pity. 'So I heard about my sister. I'm sorry bro.' Auggie consoled tapping his hand on Lucas' back. 'Hey it's not your fault. How come I never met you at the hospital.' Lucas questioned genuinely curios. Riley had spoken about her and her brothers relationship but he had never seen him. Riley made it out like they were best friends so he assumed it wasn't because Auggie didn't care. 'Oh my parents don't let me go. Something about it being too confronting. I'm staying at my girlfriend Ava's.' He beamed and Lucas chuckled at how a boy so young probably had a more stable love life than himself. 'Well will you be able to see her when she's out of the hospital in three weeks.' Lucas asked and Auggie nodded up and down excitedly. 'I drew this for when I see her.' Auggie spoke and handing Lucas a piece of paper. It was Auggie, Riley and another tall boy. Auggie caught on to Lucas' confusion and pointed and that boy and said its you. 'Now why I am on there?' 'Because you and my sister belong together, duh. I know you guys have deep talks and you make Riley really happy. Not the fake happy my parents think they're whispering about when they get home.' Auggie pondered and Lucas couldn't help but feel a little sad that Riley didn't remember him making her happy. 'But you've never even met me.' Lucas asked his curiosity in the smart young boy taking over him. 'Well yeah. But I have a lot of free time and everyone always comes here. They don't know the walls between my room and everyone else's rooms are very thin. Except for Riley so I won't be able to hear anything you and her do.' Auggie nonchalantly spoke and Lucas' jaw dropped in shock at the boys knowledge. The walls really were thin. He heard his name being called in the distance and remembered going to the hospital. He quickly stood up from his chair and have Auggie a bro hug. 'We'll talk again soon bro.' Lucas mumbled before dashing out of the room. Auggie watched him leave and spoke to himself. 'Yeah we will, bro' before packing a bag for Ava's. -------------------------- Lucas slammed the door of Zay's car and slowly walked towards the hospital entrance. The sliding doors opened and there he was face to face with none other than his mother. Her dull face brightened slightly when she saw him and she embraced him in a hug. 'Hello Lucas. How are you. I've been speaking with Topanga and with your dads situation we think you should stay there. Only if you want to of course but Topanga loves that idea. Your dad needs to go to rehab for 6 weeks in a week and Topanga will need the extra help when Riley comes home. How does that sound' she asked. Lucas was beaming At the idea, maybe something good could actually happen in his life. Maybe just maybe he could have a place to call home. He could have home cooked meals and people who cared what time he got home. He quickly scolded himself and reminded himself of how Lennie and George ended up, not good. He nodded and his mother let on a light smile before reaching up to whisper in his ear. 'Lucas you need to get your medication ok.' And that was all she said before she trotted off back towards the cafeteria. Lucas ran the other direction towards icu and reached rileys door. He noticed that her name wasn't on it anymore but he brushed it off and knocked before he walked in. Swinging open the door Lucas saw the room cleaned and empty, a basic old hospital room, no light or life. Stressing he ran over to the reception desk and spat incoherent words. Thanking God for her training the nurse managed to understand what he was saying and sat the man down. 'She's just been moved to the main part of the hospital. Other than the surgery and leg situation she's not in critical state anymore.' The nurse passively spoke and Lucas felt like he could breathe again. She was fine. 'What's going to happen if she doesn't get the leg surgery.' Lucas asked taking advantage of the reception who seemed to also be a nurse. 'Well high risk she could lose all movement but basically never full mobility again. If things go amazing she might be able to walk with a slight limp but she'll spend most of her time in a wheel chair. Her leg will just never fully recover. It will also never be positioned the same way again. With the bones out of place. The leg looks displaced and the cast can only do so much.' She spoke and Lucas was saddened by the news. The Ray of sunshine of the world was being beaten by the world. Why did the world not want sunshine ? He knew he had to do something about this, but what. An idea came to his head and he knew he had to work on it very quickly. He thanked the nurse and sprinted down to the main hospital where he saw Zay about to enter. He grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back before he could go in. 'Zay don't give her the notebook. I have another surprise. I have to get to calling but tell everyone to meet at chubbys in two hours. Don't tell Riley it's going to be a surprise.' Lucas blurted quite puffed from running all that way. 'Boy WHAt are you doing.' Zay sassed looking Lucas up and down. Lucas rolled his eyes and shook his best friends shoulders while holding a crazy smile. 'Making a young girl happy.' He yelled and Zay shushed him like he was a drunk boy. ' OK but seriously if you don't get either of those meds I'm taking matters into my own hands. Ok boy.' Zay whispered and Lucas ignored him as he ran off towards Riley's house, or as he would now call it his house. ---------------------- Lucas finished his final phone call and Breathed a sigh of relief. His plan was actually working for once. It wasn't a humble this has to work plan either, This was a very out there plan. He plugged his phone and laptop in and grabbed his jacket. As he was about to leave the apartment to meet the others he ran into none other than Auggie Matthews, once again. 'I heard your plan.' Auggie spoke eyeing Lucas up and down. 'It's a secret for now. Also we have to stop meeting like this.' Lucas replied and Auggie motioned for him to sit down on the couch. Even though Lucas knew he was going to be quite late to meet the others, quite frankly he was a little intimidated by the young boy. He plopped down beside and Auggie gave him a long stare. 'I want to come.' He demanded and Lucas flinched a little. 'Auggie I don't know if you'll be able to-' he started but Auggie held his hand up. 'I'm coming or I tell Riley everything. ' he interrupted and Lucas sighed knowing the boy had won. 'Fine I'll try to get you invited. But Auggie in the end it's ultimately up to your parents if you come or not. All I can do is try.' Lucas simpered and the young boy nodded before running up to his room. Lucas laughed and stood up, he looked around his new home one more time, smiled and left. ---------------------- Lucas arrived at the restaurant and saw everyone sitting at the table waiting for him. They all stood up happily when they saw him and pulled him in for a hug. 'We thought you had gone crazy and left the country.' Maya called and instantly got nudged by Josh. She shrugged lightly and everyone sat down. Lucas sat in front of everyone and got out all the information he needed. 'Look I heard that Riley can't afford the leg surgery.' Lucas started and he saw Topanga and Cory look down in shame. 'Which makes perfect sense. It's an expensive surgery. Anyway I realised, Riley deserves and needs the surgery. Even with all my savings I wouldn't be able to afford it and I don't think Riley would let me pay anyway. So I got to thinking and realised there is a person who loves helping people. So I emailed them an hour ago and almost instantly got a reply. I was called by a producer, then another one who all cried and now I'm just waiting for one final call that will seal the deal. ' Lucas ranted and everyone stared at him waiting for him to continue. 'And this person isssss.' Farkle pondered and Lucas was about to answer when his phone buzzing caught him off. He was a little confused at first since he thought he left it at home when he realised he'd picked it up before he left. He put his hand up for everyone to be quite and answered the call. 'Hello is this Lucas friar.' He heard a familiar voice ask and his hands started to shake. 'Yes, this is he.' He spoke his voice shaking. 'Look I loved your story and I would love to have you and your family on the show. This young lady deserves everything and we are happy to pay for all your flights to la and accommodation as well. If you need some spending money we can pay for that as well. We would really love to have Riley on the show. But look we'll email you with all the info.' She finished and Lucas felt like he was going to cry. He mumbled a Thankyou through the phone and hung up when he heard her say bye. Everyone was once again looking for him awaiting an answer and Lucas managed to murmur a sentence. 'Riley's going on the Ellen show.' A/n Bam

[philanddanxreader]

Dorms.

Hello, love bugs!

Dan x reader.

Warnings ⚠️, smutish.

Meeting Dan at university and talking to him about leaving university to become a full-time YouTuber. Side note what do you guys call a Micky of liquor? I’m Canadian and I grew up only knowing to call it that.

Tonight was going to be a much-needed break. You and this boy named Dan had been hanging out a lot lately. You had met him from being just down the hall from his dorm. It seemed like the two of you were always bumping into each other every day while going to class. This was the start of a friendship that was blossoming into something more. You had a feeling that tonight wasn’t just going to be a quiet night. But all of this was beyond the point. What was important right now was that It was your turn to supply the booze for your r&r night. You had a bottle of wine and a Micky ( for my non-Canadians it’s the size of a flask.)of vodka to help unwind. You reach Dan’s door knocking to let him know you were there with libations. You can hear him get up and stumble over to the door. You feel a small smile creep to your face. He was so dorky and cute.

“Hey!” Dan’s says leaning against the door frame trying to look cool.

“Hey, you.” You say eyeing him up. “I brought gifts!” holding out the wine in one hand and vodka in the other. Dan smile turned even larger.

“Well welcome to my humble abode,”Dan instantly took the wine from your hand then grabbing said hand to bring you into his dorm. It was small but cosy. After these last few months of hanging out with him, the dorm started to feel like home. The two of you had study dates all of the time. To be honest the studying was sometimes put on the back burner for other things. You and Dan had suddenly started to become friends with some benefits. It started by accident with a little too much alcohol. A friendly kiss goodbye here and a cuddle there didn’t seem like much. You happen to both be just physical people. It didn’t seem to be just friendly anymore, however. The chemistry now started to spark on its own. It probably came so easily to the two of you from having similar childhoods and teenage years. It felt like the two of you were long lost friends who lived the same lives apart. The biggest thing you bonded over was your past relationships. The both of you had ended long term relationships before coming to uni. This created a bond of understanding where the other person was coming from. You enjoyed staying up late cuddling in his bed just talking for hours after a party. It was nice to make such a good friend at university who shared so many of the same interests and values.

“I didn’t bring glasses but I supplied the liquor.” Smiling you take back your hand before jumping onto his bed. “Pour me a glass of wine butler.” You had been in a particularly sassy mood so you made sure to add a hand wave and a smirk. Dan gave you a dirty look but continued to find his two finest mugs for your drinks. After he filled the glasses he sat beside you on the small twin bed handing you the stress relieving cup. You give him a quick thank you before taking a sip of the sweet nectar. Damn Daniel getting you into enjoying wine instead of straight liquor. He is right though that it’s a lot classier to drink wine or rather get wine drunk, and not blasted from only vodka.

“Why does it feel like I haven’t seen you in a couple days?” You missed him more than you would like to admit. You missed everything about him. Especially physical contact so you decided to link your arm with his to pull him closer to you.

“I’ve just been busy I guess,” Dan says taking a sip from his mug. He obviously didn’t want to talk about it. The question is whether or not you were going to push the topic.

“Oh ok.” You say. You didn’t want to pick a battle with him. Hopefully, after some liquid courage in his system, he would say what’s been bothering him.Attempting to change the subject you decided to ask him about something that had been bugging you a bit.

“I actually came yesterday to see if you wanted to study, but you didn’t answer. Figured you must have been having som private time.” You raise your eyebrows before laughing a little Dan gave a half-hearted laugh to your joke.

“Oh ya, I was hanging at Phil’s most of the day yesterday, ” You hadn't even noticed but Dan was playing with your fingers on your hand that is attached to the arm that is linked in his. He was definitely not being himself. Dan is definitely not one for being vague. You set down your mug then turn to Dan to look into his eyes.

“Please tell me what’s wrong. I can’t help fix it when you don’t tell me.” You couldn't help the concern that was crossing your expression. Before you can even wait for an answer Dan’s lips were crashing into yours. Most of the time Dan was fairly gentle when you kissed. This kiss, however, was the complete opposite. You could feel the passion and angst in this kiss. You could even have a faint taste of the wine you and Dan were drinking moments ago. Just as fast as the kiss started it ended. Dan pulled away taking a deep breath before turning away to put his drink on the nightstand before returning to your lips. This time the kiss feels more familiar. You crawl into Dan’s lap to get closer to him, slipping your hands behind his neck to play with the back of his hair. Dan's hands, however, were not so innocent. His were roaming your body until they hit the hem of your shirt before he pulled it over your head in one swift motion. You and Dan had gotten close to each other but never this fast. Before you could think too much more into his actions his lips were on your neck making love marks to claim you as his. His hands had now found what they were searching for as he played with your breast in his right hand while his left was attempting to undo your bra.

“Dan, what’s gotten into you.” You say breathlessly. As you start to feel his pants getting somehow even tighter under you.

“I just need to forget right now. You're like a drug of choice to me.” He says re-capturing your lips to his again as he muddles a swear or two about how your bra won’t cooperate.

“Dan I can’t believe I’m saying this but we need to pause for a second.” You had to hold his face between your two hands just to keep him focused. “Tell me what’s going on. Don’t get me wrong I’m totally enjoying this. I can’t let this be a way to get your mind of something. What’s wrong?” Dan’s eyes swell up with little tears at the corners. You wipe away the little tears with your thumb while kissing his forehead. This took a complete turn.

Dan releases a shaky breath before starting. “As you know my YouTube is starting to take off. I’m really considering saying fuck it to all of this Uni stuff and try to go full time with it.” This was a lot to process in a short amount of time. He had obviously been thinking about this for a while. You knew he loved his YouTube, you had to admit that his stuff was pretty good. He was always using his time to edit videos rather than doing homework. As you process the new information Dan searches your face practically begging for you to say something. “You think it’s stupid, Dan couldn't hide the frown that found its way to his slightly swollen lips.

“I never said that!” Feeling terrible you start rubbing little circles on his cheeks with your thumbs. “I just don’t know what to exactly say right now. I know you haven’t been that happy at Uni. I also know that you have been putting off homework to edit and shoot videos.” You say looking at him with a small smile on your face. A terrible thought comes to mind, unfortunately, you feel the question leave your lips before you can stop yourself. “What if you fail?” Your voice is small as you can't face Dan so you decided to look down. You didn’t want to be the one to crush his dreams. You knew that Phil was a big influence in Dan’s life when it came to YouTube. Phil was doing ok for himself on his YouTube money. He wasn’t by any means rich. He was, however, able to live on his own in an apartment.

“What if is the thing that scares me.” He says pushing a piece of hair out of your face. Was he comforting you when he was the one talking about dropping out of university? “I feel like I need to do this. Like it’s meant to be.” Dan tilted your chin to look up at him so he could continue searching your face for an answer.

“I think you already know your answer, Dan.” You say with a small smile. “Give it a go. If it doesn’t work out just come back to university to try again. I’ve known you haven’t been happy for a while. I just want you to be happy and do something you love.“Maybe you had been lying to yourself about the just friends with benefits thing. Even considering that Dan wouldn’t be around next year broke your heart. "Listen I think we should just call it a night and maybe watch a movie and cuddle.” You say snuggling your face into his neck.

“I agree,” Dan says rubbing your back with his strong hands. Later that night you enjoyed a terrible movie with a great friend, cuddling and talking This was definitely not how either of you thought this was how the night was going to end. You both had a lot to think about but that was for another time. Tonight was about relaxation.

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