#Matsouka Rin x reader

[kodzuken-chan]

☁️Silent Pain☁️

Paring: Tatchibana Makoto x SisFemReader Ft. Matsuoka Rin

Genre: Angst / Hurt / Comfort/ Fluff/ The Final Stroke period based Sc.

Warning ⚠️: Hurt-Comfort, Mainly Mention of Trauma and Traumatic childhood incident, Nightmares,Breakdown and emotional panic, idk what else, its kinda angsty so yeah

A/N: Remember the other day when I told you I had a Free! Dream and I woke up with Puffy eyes, running nose and a sore throat?

Well the Traumatic childhood incident here is what I dreamed of so yeah, please enjoy reading it~

- I'm sorry if this sucks, bcs I feel it does💀

Makoto & Rin's Age: 10 y.o >> 19 y.o

Reader & Gou's Age: 9 y.o >> 18 y.o

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Summary: An incident happened long ago traumatizes you during your sleep, But you always found comfort in your brother's arms, However this time, who else is coming to envelop you in his embrace?

------------------------

The slight howling of the summer wind brought your eyes to open, you looked around, trying to process where the hell are you, only to hear few faint chuckles in the distance.

-

You glanced towards the source of these sounds and made your way towards them. There you stood, infront of the tiny playground, Your old brother Makoto, his friend Rin and his little sister Gou were all running around causing a huge chaos.

-

"Y/N! Come here and play with us! This is fun!!" Called the little red head boy

-

But you stood there, not comprehending the hell is going on, did you go back in time? Why are your friends and brother are young?. You glanced at your hands to find them tiny in size, you engrossed in your thoughts but soon were pulled out of it when Makoto approched and held your hands.

-

"Y/N? Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?" He said checking for the source of your discomfort.

-

"I'm fine... don't worry Ni-chan" you smiled at him, not wanting to make him worried.

-

"Okay then, let's go and play okay?" He said and you nodded and took his hand.

-

Although You And Makoto had only one year difference, but most people thought that you two were twins, you two reassembled each other, let alone the fact that you were so attached to him to the point your mom had to enroll you with him at school, making both of you in the same grade.

-

After playing around here and there, you guys reached to a huge cliff viewing the ocean minutes after wandering around few trees and bushes. It was almost sunset, which gave you all a magnificent scenery of the blue sea blending with the volcano like orange color of the sky. The four of you smiled happily at the little achievement you did, you held hands with each other and started spinning around in a circle.

-

But the happiness didn't last for too long, your head felt dizzy because of the spinning, and you wanted them to stop, once they did everyone stared at you in concern.

-

"You're not feeling well after all, let's just go back home Y/N" told you Makoto

-

"No ..I'm okay...I just a-" you tried to say but lost your balance.

-

You stumbled and grabbed Makoto's shirt unintentionally to brace yourself, however, the unexpected happened. Makoto was standing nearly to the cliff's edge, once he held you to brace you as well, his foot slipped and he fell off the cliff.

-

"MAKOTO!!!!!" Screamed Rin

-

Your knees gave up and your body froze from shock near to where Makoto fell, you watched him with tearful wide eyes roll down the cliff among the rocks until his body layed still at the end of it, the blood slowly turning into a little puddle under his little head.

-

"NIIII-CHAAAAN!!!!" you screamed your lungs out after realizing what just happened

-

Gou sobbed silently from fear, Rin couldn't move an inch and his body was shaking, your loud screams didn't make it any better. You almost fell off the cliff as you called your brother desperately, But Rin was quick enough to grab you back.

-

"Y/N, Calm Down....I-I'm going to get some help" His tiny voice cracked, eyes are red from the tears he was holding

-

He patted on your and Gou's head, to assure both of you that everything is going to be okay. And then he went around looking for any adult to ask for help. Few minutes haven't passed and Rin walked back to you, without anyone.

-

"R-Rin....Did you find anyone, please tell me that you did Rin " you said but got interrupted by a sob

-

"Actually...I found an old man near by, Although he seemed busy, I tried calling him, but he didn't answer me so I tried to look around for someone else but I-" Explained Rin

-

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN???? NI-CHAN IS GOING TO DIE THERE !!RIN YOU!!!" You grabbed Rin from his collar as the tear streamed over your cheeks

-

You Ran towards where the old man was, and once you approached him, you started pulling him from his shirt. He snapped out of his deep concentration on the thing he was working on.

-

"What's the Matter Young girl?" He asked concerned at your puffy teary eyes

-

"M-My Brother *sniff*...He...HE FELL OFF THE CLIFF, sir please help him, he's going to die..." You sobbed loudly.

-

"Oh god! Let's go quickly" said the old man as he grabeed your hand along

-

Once he made it to the cliff, the old man called the ambulance immediately as well as your parents (since he somehow figured out who you were from your family name), it was the matter of few minutes before they all showed up and Makoto was taken to the hospital and you back home. Rin and Gou went back to their house as well, Rin feeling absolutely guilty because he couldn't do anything to save his best friend.

-

Your parents asked the old man to take you safely back to your house until Makoto recovers. And as you walked back, the old man noticed how tensed you were from the incident, so to ease your tension,he tried to make a conversation with you.

-

"Y/N-chan...No need to worry, Makoto-kun will be alright okay? You have to be strong for your brother right?" he said stroking your head and you just nodded silently.

-

"M..My friend came to ask you for help...why didn't you igonre him?" You asked the man as you grip tightened on his

-

"Your Friend? What do you mean? I didn't talk to anyone before you showed up infront of me" he answered

-

"You didn't see a small red haired boy calling you??" You stopped on your tracks looking at him with your reddish eyes

-

"I'm sorry It seems that I didn't notice your friend when he approached me. I'm an old man with poor hearing, I wasn't wearing my hearing aids until you came to me" he said kneeling to you

-

Your tears streamed over your pinkish baby cheeks again, back there you yelled at Rin, and didn't give him a chance to explain himself, he must felt too bad and scared like you because he could do nothing to help Makoto. You immediately let go of the old man's hand and rushed towards Rin's house. Once you got there, you opened the door and entered, you saw Gou sleeping on the couch and it seemed like his mom wasn't home either, so you made your way straight to his room.

-

"RIN!" You called opening his bedroom door without knocking

-

"Y-Y/N?? *sniff*" He turned around surprised, eyes are red and face is stained with unstoppable tears

-

"Sorry for screaming *sniff* on you ....I'm really sorryyyyyyyy-" You sobbed hugging him tightly and he froze

-

"Its okay *sniff*" he said hugging you back, holding back his tears

-

By that time, the old man was able to catch up with your steps and took you back home. Once you got there, you ran immediately to your shared bedroom with Makoto, and hid under your bed's blanket silently sobbing alone. All what spun inside your head was guilt, if you didn't brace yourself with him that time, nothing of this would have happened, what if Makoto got severely injured, what if he never came back here.

-

Immersed in your thoughts, you never noticed how long the time have passed, your face was stained with traces of your tears, although your head felt heavy, but your eyelids couldn't shut, you were scared from so many things.

-

You snapped out of your thoughts once the blanket was lifted from over you, revealing no one but Makoto himself, with his usual iconic smile. Your eyes almost popped out of their places at the sight of him standing infront of you. His head was wrapped in a bandage, the rest of his body was covered up with small injuries and bruises.

-

"N...Ni..-chan..." You said, only to start sobbing loudly again

-

" Shhhhh...I'm here.... Don't cry Y/N, I'm fine see! You don't have to cry" He tried to calm you down with a hug, his eyes getting blurry at your sight

-

"I...I thought...that you're gonna die... because of mee...." You cried

-

"No No...It not your fault Y/N...Look at me, I'm fine, its nothing, it will recover soon" he smiled making you look at him

-

With this you ended up sleeping in his tiny arms. Makoto was supposed to stay the night at the hospital to ensure that he isn't suffering from any other side effects caused by the concussion. However, when he fell off the cliff and layed down there, he was able to hear your loud sobs at him, he couldn't endure it, he couldn't endure the pain of hearing you breaking down like that. He couldn't move an inch but lay down in his place, his eyelids getting heavier until they disobeyed his body and shut, leaving tears to slide over his cheeks.

-

By the time he woke up in the hospital, the first thing he did was to look for you, but his mom assured him that you're home. He couldn't stay still and immediately asked your parents to take him back home, because you're there alone and scared, and must be blaming yourself for what happened to him, and they immediately did.

-

However, nine years have already passed since the incident, you and Makoto graduated high school ended up going to the same university in Tokyo, the only difference was they you both ended up chosing different pathways for your futures. Spring break was quick to approach, and all of the gang including you and your brother's best friends have already planned to go back to your hometown to spend some time with their families until they go back to Tokyo.

-

Your knees gave up and your body froze from shock near to where Makoto fell, you watched him with tearful wide eyes roll down the cliff among the rocks until his body layed still at the end of it, the blood slowly turning into a little puddle under his little head.

-

"NIIII-CHAAAAN!!!!" you screamed your lungs out after realizing what just happened

-

You snapped out of your deep sleep in a sitting position, hand clenched into your chest, hair is messy, and your body damped with your sweat. You tried to calm down your heavy breathings, and the streaming tears once you realized its already morning.

-

"Why.....Why did I have this nightmare again..." You thought to yourself.

-

You noticed that it was already past 8 am, you dragged your exhausted body out of the bed, heading straightly towards Makoto's room. You pushed the door open, but all what was there was just his neat yet organized bedroom and stuff. He've must went out with Haru and the others, you assumed.

-

You changed into something simple suitable for going outside, you needed fresh air to calm down your shivering body, So, on your way to the main door, you met your mom.

-

"Good morning Y/N- Oh my are you okay?" She said scanning your pale face.

-

"I'm fine Mom, Don't worry" you said giving her a weak smile

-

"Are you going somewhere?" She asked not convinced by your answer

-

"Yeah, gonna get some fresh air, but where is Ni-san?" You wondered

-

"I'm not sure, he said he had some plans with his friends"

-

You nodded understanding, and walked outside, heading towards your old school. That's right, you're the same age as Gou, Nagisa and Rei, you were supposed to be with them on their third and final year at high school, but instead you're academically a year ahead of them. However, you still went to your old school to hang out with them sometimes, but today you weren't walking there for that reason.

-

You just thought that your brother might be there, you were extremely sure that he's okay, and your childhood trauma is just haunting your dreams again making you doubtful and uncomfortable. However, everytime you witnessed that dream, you must see him to clam yourself down, even from afar.

-

The first place to come on your mind where your brother and Haru probably are at was Iwatobi's High school, You know maybe giving Gou, Nagisa and Rei a small visit, since they came back from Tokyo. Surprisingly, when you reached there, your brother and Haru weren't seen around, instead, it was just your gang with their juniors enjoying their practice sessions in the pool. You walked around until you bumped into Gou coincidentally.

-

"Y/N-chan!! What are you doing-.....here?" She said until her expressions suddenly changed at your sight, she knew something was wrong with you

-

"I'm looking for Mako-Ni, did he come here by any chance?" You asked dashing her with a weak smile

-

"Well, Makoto and Haruka senpai came to say hi a while ago, but they left shortly after saying they'e got some plans" She explained

-

"I see, then I'll come back here later, Thanks Gou-chan" you said leaving the place

-

" *Sigh* I hope she's okay...." Murmured Gou

-

"What's the matter Gou?" Said Rin as he dried his hair approaching his sister

-

"Onii-chan, Did the race finish Already?" Said Gou to her older brother

-

"Oh yeah, Rei and Nagisa improved alot"

-

"That's great to hear" smiled Gou

-

"Btw, I don't wanna sound crazy, but I heard Y/N's voice few minutes ago"

-

"Yeah...she was here looking for Makoto-senpai and... Onii-chan...I think she's not feeling well" Said Gou in concern

-

"What do you mean? Is she sick?" Asked Rin in confusion

-

"No... Remember how she looks whenever that thing happens to her? Its been a while tho, but she had that expression from that time..."

-

"That's not good...Tell Nagisa and Rei that I'll join them later, I have to find her" Said Rin and Gou nodded

-

This how Rin got dressed in his clothes really quickly and headed out to follow your steps, looking for you, he knows at this time, you shouldn't be left alone. Although Nagisa, Rei amd Haru didn't witness the incident from that time, however, they knew about it, not they just heard the story from Makoto, Rin and Gou, but they saw you collapse lots of times because of it, they knew it was your trauma.

-

You on the other side went to the harbor and sat there viewing the sea, Now that you're finally alone, you wanted to let it all out by yourself, without bothering anyone like everytime. Usually, when you have the incident nightmare, Makoto always notices it the first thing and clams you down, since you know, your body shivers and you start crying unintentionally. But this time, no one noticed, so you decided to just clam yourself on your own.

-

Little you knew that a certain someone was running to you, He stopped for a brief moment behind you before enveloping you with his buff arms, snuggling his face in your neck. Your tiny sobs and gasps stopped shortly acknowledging the warmth surrounding you, before you went back to sob louder than ever.

-

"Shhhh...its okay..... Let it all out until you feel better, I'll be here until you say so" Said Rin turning you to his chest, giving you tiny little forehead kisses and embracing you tightly as if he's protecting you from this world.

-

"Its.. happening again...*sniff*.... the incident..... It feels real every single time ....I can't take it anymore....*sobs*" You cried

-

Rin did nothing but listen to you carefully, tightening his arms around you everytime he feels your fingers clenching on the fabric of his shirt. Once you calmed down, he slightly parted to have a clear look on your face, He gently moved away the hairlines stucked on your stained cheeks, and wiped the the remaining tears.

-

"Let's go to my place, you can have a small nap there, I won't leave your side until you wake up, okay?" He assured leaving a soft kiss across your forehead, and you nodded.

-

The two of you walked to the Matsouka's residence, with Rin heading straightly to his room, of course with your hands interviewed with his. He closed the door behind him and layed over his bed, pulling you along to lay with him. Without hesitation, he brought you closer to him, your face was few inches away from the crock of his neck, but you definitely were able to smell his natural scent, it relaxed your body but made your heart skip a beat.

-

Sometimes, you forget about your own feelings towards him when he does these kind of things. Ever since you were kids, technically after Makoto's incident, Rin became way overprotective of you, and at times like these when you suffer from your trauma, Rin was always there for you, showering you with skin ship and love, yes that's right it was way too different than your brother's. Makoto's way of calming you down consists of giving you hugs and reassuring words, and sometimes siblings hangout to distract you from your thoughts.

-

However, Rin's were different, you two are used to give each other hugs and cuddles. You're so used to him to the point that you sometimes supposed to blush or get nervous around him especially when he gets closer and cuddle you since you have feelings for him, but no...it just feels right. On the other hand, Rin reciprocated the same feelings towards you, that's why he always wants to protect you at any cost.

-

"Rin...." You whispered once you finally calmed down

-

"Hmmm?" He replied simply as he kept his eyes closed with his lips brushing over your forehead

-

"I love you.." you confessed wholeheartedly, realizing that you want to stay with him like that forever

-

"I know" he replied pulling you closer to his chest, leaving another kiss on your forehead

-

"Y-you knew?....H-how...?"you raised your head in confusion locking your puffy eyes with his semi-sleepy ones.

-

"Have you ever seen any two female and male best friends casually cuddling with this much of intimacy?" He smirked and your face turned red

-

"We're doing what usually couples do...so, since you confessed, I guess we're official now right?" He said pinching your cheeks

-

"A..and there I thought I was good at hiding my feelings..." You said hiding your face in his chest and he chuckled

-

"But there is one thing that we haven't done yet, let's say I was waiting for either of us to confess first..." He said now looking into your eyes as he placed a strand of your hair behind your ear

-

"What is it...." You asked looking at his crimson Iris

-

"This..." He said bringing his face closer until your lips met with his

-

The heat reached your cheeks, but you decided to go with the flow by slowly bringing your eyelids to shut, enjoying the feeling of his soft lips on yours. But time have passed faster than you think, and it was already past 8:30 PM, it seems that after your sweet little confession, you ended up napping for 4 hours straight, however when you noticed the time and how late it was for you to be out, Rin decided to walk you back home.

-

Makoto walked back after a long day into his warm house getting greeted by his twin siblings Ren and Ran, but before he could take a step further and notice your absence, your mom walked to him with a worried expression.

-

"Is there something wrong mom?" He asked noticing the uncomfortable face of his mom

-

"Y/N haven't came back yet, she went out looking for you, but her face looked pale, I'm worried that something might have happened to her ..." She said in worry

-

"I'll look for her, I'm sure she's okay, don't worry Mom, I'll bring her back" assured Makoto as he closed the door behind him, he knew what his mom meant by you looked pale...he could never forget

-

Before he could take another step forward, he spotted you across the road walking side by side and hand in hand with Rin. He sighed in relief after seeing the wide smile over your face, and soon you noticed your brother standing by your house's doorstep, letting go of Rin's hand, you ran towards Makoto giving him a tight hug.

-

"Are you okay?" Asked Makoto as he scanned you

-

"Yes...I'm much better now thanks to Rin" you said, sending a bashful smile to Rin

-

"Thank god....well then, you must be tired, go inside and get some rest...Mom was worried about you too, so go and talk to her" he said giving you his iconic smile with head pats.

-

Once you said goof night to your Brother and Rin, you walked inside, leaving the two men together.

-

"Was it the incident nightmare again..." Asked Makoto

-

"Yeah...and the impact was worse than anytime, she cried alot, no but she was mostly on the verge of collapsing, but she's good now... don't worry Makoto" Assured Rin as he patted Makoto's shoulder

-

"Rin ...." Called Makoto in a serious tone

-

"Yeah?"

-

"I'm leaving her under your care, so make sure to keep that smile on her face...., You're my best friend, and I know you'll treasure her. I'm just telling you that because I don't wanna see the day where she comes to me crying because of you....I don't want that to happen"

-

" It won't come ever, I promise, I'll prove how serious I'm with her... Don't worry" Said Rin smiling

-

With this the two men went to their own ways, Rin walked back home, and Makoto to his bedroom. Although you would be haunted by negative thoughts by this time of the night because of your dream, but tonight was different...you were instead fantasizing about the unforgettable kiss Rin gave you...Who knows...Maybe this is the start of peaceful sleepy nights full of lovable memories of the day and free off traumatic nightmares.

-

The End

[azxmii]

>christmas carols<

alright- so I think this turned out pretty good!! it didn’t take me long at all to finish this so im hoping that it all turned out okay! This is Day 4 of the 12 Days of Cheer collab! I hope you all enjoy!!

wc: 1.1k :0

TYSM to my amazing betareader- @lcnelyinthesky​!!!!

Spending quarantine/the lockdown with your boyfriend was both a blessing and a curse. While you were both lucky to be able to spend it together, it also meant you weren’t able to see your family or your friends. Usually, you were able to push that thought out of your mind, but now that it was the holiday season, your hopes for a normal Christmas were crashing down around you. You weren’t going to be able to go home for the holidays. There would be no fighting over cookies with your siblings, no putting up Christmas lights, no late nights in front of the fireplace. You wouldn’t have to race down at the crack of dawn to get to the breakfast spread first, snowball fights had been a rare occurrence this year, and there would be no tussles to see who would get to open their stocking first.

Christmas had always been something that had brought your family together, your parents would take the week off and spend it with you and your siblings. You’d spend your days running in the snow with your siblings, and most nights out looking at the different light displays. Spending time cozied up next to the fireplace with a cup of hot cocoa, watching classic Christmas movies. Being able to see your younger siblings’ faces light up with joy as they open their gifts Christmas morning. The fact that this will be the first year where you won’t be able to make those memories made your heart hurt. 

“-abe- babe-” Blinking you notice Rin crouched in front of you, a worried look on his face. As you start to move, his worried look relaxes into a soft smile, “I was really worried for a second babe, you looked like you were about to start crying.” He brushes some hair off of your forehead, “now, what’s got you feeling all down during this joyous time?”

Taking a deep breath, you explain why you’re feeling so down, how you were hoping for things to have gotten normal enough that you’d be able to travel back home and see your family for Christmas. How this was your first Christmas without your parents, without the traditions you grew to expect for the season. How this whole pandemic made the holiday season feel so wrong, how it didn’t feel like Christmas to you. Tears start to creep into the corners of your eyes, but as quick as they came, Rin was there to wipe them away. He stood up suddenly and almost ran to your shared room. A couple of minutes later he was running back with what looked like,,, your Bluetooth speaker, his phone, and 2 Santa hats? What was your boyfriend up to?

“Babe,” he says, his voice super serious, surprising you, “close your eyes for a second.” As you close your eyes he changes his statement, “Maybe a minute or two,  uh- I’ll just tell you when to open them.”  As you close your eyes you hear sounds of furniture being moved, a little bit of music playing, and then you feel a weight on your head. “Alright, you can open your eyes now.”

 As you open your eyes, you notice first that the weight on your head was one of the Santa hats Rin brought in, then you take in the living space. All the furniture had been pushed against the wall, leaving a wide-open space in the middle of your apartment. As you take in the room, you notice Rin is standing in front of you with his hand extended for you to take. You take his hand, and he pulls you up from where you were sitting, pulling you close into his chest. As you start to ask what is going on, music starts playing from the speaker he set up.

“Now, let it all go, baby,” he says smiling. 

-The Snow’s Coming down-

At the first lyric you realize what song this is, Michael Buble, “Baby Please Come Home”. A song that always brings a smile to your face. You told Rin this back when you started dating, who would’ve thought he would remember such a trivial fact. 

-I’m watching it fall- -Lots of people around-

-Baby, please come home-

A laugh bubbles out of you, seeing Rin start dancing like there’s no one watching, spinning you around and mouthing the lyrics, attempting to get a reaction out of you. 

-The church bells in town-

-All ringing in song-

-Full of happy sounds-

-Baby, please come home-

What came next was not at all what you were expecting, Rin started singing to you, and he actually sounded really good!

“They’re singing Deck the Halls,” he grabs your hands again, “But it’s not like Christmas at all,” he spins you around, “I remember when you were here, and all the fun we had last year,” he holds you close, resting his chin on your head.

-Pretty lights on the tree-

-I’m watching them shine-

-You should be here with me-

-Baby please come home-

At the repeat of the chorus, he leans your head up so you’re making eye contact with him, “They’re singing Deck the Halls, Not like Christmas at all, I remember when you were here, and all the fun we had last year,” he presses a kiss to your lips, a soft smile making its way onto your face. And then it was your turn to shock Rin as you began to sing the next part.

“Oh if there was a way, I’d hold back these tears, oh, but it’s Christmas day~” As you sing, you see a toothy smile break across Rin’s face, and grabs you in a bear hug and spins you around again.

-Please, please, please, please, please, please-

-Oh come home-

You both stop singing but the song is still on in the background, but you feel so loved by your boyfriend. 

-I gotta have you-

-You know I need you-

He did so much for you, trying to help you cheer up during this season that has made you so sad, tears start to well up again.

-Oh Love, oh love-

“Hey, hey, no more tears babe, please,” Rin says as he starts to wipe away the tears on your face.

-I gotta have you-

-I said na na na na na-

-It’s Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, yeah-

“Thank you, my love,” you say as you take his face in your hands, “ I am so lucky to have you.” The song ends but the two of you are wrapped up in your own little world, in which you spend the rest of the day just smiling and sharing quick kisses. 

Taglist: @sunnysuzuya​ @yamaguchi-stan​ @bakabrxt​ @nikki--han​

[justcafewriter]

aaaah!!!! this is so cute 🥰🥰🥰

>christmas carols<

alright- so I think this turned out pretty good!! it didn’t take me long at all to finish this so im hoping that it all turned out okay! This is Day 4 of the 12 Days of Cheer collab! I hope you all enjoy!!

wc: 1.1k :0

TYSM to my amazing betareader- @lcnelyinthesky​!!!!

Spending quarantine/the lockdown with your boyfriend was both a blessing and a curse. While you were both lucky to be able to spend it together, it also meant you weren’t able to see your family or your friends. Usually, you were able to push that thought out of your mind, but now that it was the holiday season, your hopes for a normal Christmas were crashing down around you. You weren’t going to be able to go home for the holidays. There would be no fighting over cookies with your siblings, no putting up Christmas lights, no late nights in front of the fireplace. You wouldn’t have to race down at the crack of dawn to get to the breakfast spread first, snowball fights had been a rare occurrence this year, and there would be no tussles to see who would get to open their stocking first.

Christmas had always been something that had brought your family together, your parents would take the week off and spend it with you and your siblings. You’d spend your days running in the snow with your siblings, and most nights out looking at the different light displays. Spending time cozied up next to the fireplace with a cup of hot cocoa, watching classic Christmas movies. Being able to see your younger siblings’ faces light up with joy as they open their gifts Christmas morning. The fact that this will be the first year where you won’t be able to make those memories made your heart hurt. 

“-abe- babe-” Blinking you notice Rin crouched in front of you, a worried look on his face. As you start to move, his worried look relaxes into a soft smile, “I was really worried for a second babe, you looked like you were about to start crying.” He brushes some hair off of your forehead, “now, what’s got you feeling all down during this joyous time?”

Taking a deep breath, you explain why you’re feeling so down, how you were hoping for things to have gotten normal enough that you’d be able to travel back home and see your family for Christmas. How this was your first Christmas without your parents, without the traditions you grew to expect for the season. How this whole pandemic made the holiday season feel so wrong, how it didn’t feel like Christmas to you. Tears start to creep into the corners of your eyes, but as quick as they came, Rin was there to wipe them away. He stood up suddenly and almost ran to your shared room. A couple of minutes later he was running back with what looked like,,, your Bluetooth speaker, his phone, and 2 Santa hats? What was your boyfriend up to?

“Babe,” he says, his voice super serious, surprising you, “close your eyes for a second.” As you close your eyes he changes his statement, “Maybe a minute or two,  uh- I’ll just tell you when to open them.”  As you close your eyes you hear sounds of furniture being moved, a little bit of music playing, and then you feel a weight on your head. “Alright, you can open your eyes now.”

 As you open your eyes, you notice first that the weight on your head was one of the Santa hats Rin brought in, then you take in the living space. All the furniture had been pushed against the wall, leaving a wide-open space in the middle of your apartment. As you take in the room, you notice Rin is standing in front of you with his hand extended for you to take. You take his hand, and he pulls you up from where you were sitting, pulling you close into his chest. As you start to ask what is going on, music starts playing from the speaker he set up.

“Now, let it all go, baby,” he says smiling. 

-The Snow’s Coming down-

At the first lyric you realize what song this is, Michael Buble, “Baby Please Come Home”. A song that always brings a smile to your face. You told Rin this back when you started dating, who would’ve thought he would remember such a trivial fact. 

-I’m watching it fall- -Lots of people around-

-Baby, please come home-

A laugh bubbles out of you, seeing Rin start dancing like there’s no one watching, spinning you around and mouthing the lyrics, attempting to get a reaction out of you. 

-The church bells in town-

-All ringing in song-

-Full of happy sounds-

-Baby, please come home-

What came next was not at all what you were expecting, Rin started singing to you, and he actually sounded really good!

“They’re singing Deck the Halls,” he grabs your hands again, “But it’s not like Christmas at all,” he spins you around, “I remember when you were here, and all the fun we had last year,” he holds you close, resting his chin on your head.

-Pretty lights on the tree-

-I’m watching them shine-

-You should be here with me-

-Baby please come home-

At the repeat of the chorus, he leans your head up so you’re making eye contact with him, “They’re singing Deck the Halls, Not like Christmas at all, I remember when you were here, and all the fun we had last year,” he presses a kiss to your lips, a soft smile making its way onto your face. And then it was your turn to shock Rin as you began to sing the next part.

“Oh if there was a way, I’d hold back these tears, oh, but it’s Christmas day~” As you sing, you see a toothy smile break across Rin’s face, and grabs you in a bear hug and spins you around again.

-Please, please, please, please, please, please-

-Oh come home-

You both stop singing but the song is still on in the background, but you feel so loved by your boyfriend. 

-I gotta have you-

-You know I need you-

He did so much for you, trying to help you cheer up during this season that has made you so sad, tears start to well up again.

-Oh Love, oh love-

“Hey, hey, no more tears babe, please,” Rin says as he starts to wipe away the tears on your face.

-I gotta have you-

-I said na na na na na-

-It’s Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, yeah-

“Thank you, my love,” you say as you take his face in your hands, “ I am so lucky to have you.” The song ends but the two of you are wrapped up in your own little world, in which you spend the rest of the day just smiling and sharing quick kisses. 

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